From the Editor

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments and positive feedback on September issue on peace. We were delighted with the high quality of the contributions. In the wake of the recent a t t a c k s o n t h e Westgate Mal l in Nairobi, world peace is even more of a priority than ever.

W e a r e l o o k i n g forward to our pre-C h r i s t m a s a n d Christmas issues and we would appreciate receiving your articles on your preparations and memories. Please s e n d u s y o u r contributions.

Our 19th issue is on the subject of growing old gracefully. We have a lovely selection of a r t i c l e s f o r y o u r enjoyment. There is a t r ibute to Edi th Da Cunha in honour of her 100th birthday lovingly written by her great granddaughter Sachie. Quitty Menezes imparts some tips of wisdom garnered over her long life. Another loving tribute has been written in respect of Maria Nazareth, soon to be 96 years young. Our energetic founder Betsy shares her thoughts on growing older and starting again in a new country long after others would have settled into their rocking chairs. Lira reminds us that we are only as old as we feel. Lakshmi feels that growing old is a beautiful concept and I agree with her. Pam O’Connor presents us with her personal thoughts on ageing.

Enjoy your read!

(for the Editorial Team)

Issue 19 | Page 1Visit us at femnet.goanet.org

Issue 19 | October 2013 | 4 Pages | For free circulation only

This past July my great grandmother, Mrs. Edith da Cunha, celebrated her 100th birthday. She was born on July 4th, 1913 in Maputo, Mozambique, where she lived until the age of sixteen. After getting married in February 1930, she and her husband moved to Tanzania, where they started a family. Unfortunately, in June 1943 while on vacat ion with her husband and three ch i l d ren Noemie , Ly d i a a n d To n y, tragedy struck and E d i t h l o s t h e r husband. Her children were under the age of 12 at this time in her life.

With the loss of her husband and her three young children to provide for, she took on a job as a seamstress, she worked hard to make enough money to support her family. With hard work and determination she became a renowned seamstress in Tanzania making wedding dresses and ball gowns for the governor's family and other well heeled members of society in town.

Edith moved to Vancouver on May 22nd 1966 with only her suitcase and 165 dollars in her pocket. She spent her first three years in Canada living in a one room apartment in

Kitsilano, Vancouver, British Columbia and worked full time in a sewing factory. One day while she was on her way home from work, one of her prestigious clients from Tanzania, recognised her. Upon hearing about her living situation, she refused to let my great grandmother go back to the apartment and took her in until she found a

more suitable place to live.

A f t e r t h r e e m o n t h s o f searching for a h o u s e s h e found a house in a very good neighbourhood i n W e s t Vancouver, the house seemed out of reach but she went ahead and purchased it. Converting her basement into a sewing r oom, Ed i t h

worked day and night making beautiful gowns for her friend and her network of friends and relatives. She worked hard to pay off the house, and cater to the needs of her family. Today great grand mum Edith still lives in her own house in the same area where she leads an independent life for the most part. Her daughter Lydia lives not far away so she has company and the ability to get around when needed.

Being three digits old, it is no surprise that she has been through a lot of life experiences. Yet, regardless of what life has thrown at her, her strong belief in God and strength to persevere have helped her overcome each hurdle. She is still independent and has a great and active memory.

But what is most amazing about my great grandmother is her impeccable ability to foster the many relationships she has made over the past century. This was clear when on July 4th, 2013, over two hundred of her family and friends from Canada and other parts of the world, came to Vancouver just to help her celebrate this great milestone in her life. She has 8 grand children and 15 great grand children today. She is a very inspiring person, a mentor to many and she is my idol.

by Sachie da Cunha (Ontario, Canada)

Sachie is the eldest great grandchild of Edith da Cunha. She was born in Nairobi, Kenya and immigrated to Canada, Mississauga in 2000. Sachie just graduated from the University of Western Ontario earning a BA Degree in Media Theory and Production and a diploma in Broadcast Journalism from Fanshawe College.

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A TRIBUTE TO A WONDERFUL GREAT GRANDMOTHER ON HER 100TH BIRTHDAY

Issue 19 | Page 2

This year, with God's grace, I celebrated my 85th birthday. I s t i l l l o v e t r a v e l l i n g , eating good food, enjoying a glass of wine and meeting f a m i l y a n d friends.

Isn't that what life is all about?

Many people ask me for tips on how to stay healthy. Let me share some of my tips with you.

Tip No. 1: Eat fresh food – it has lots of vitamins.

First of all, let's talk about food. I've always eaten fresh foods. In Zanzibar, we ate lots of fresh fish and vegetables - frozen foods did not exist at the time.

Tip No. 2: Eat a variety of vegetables.

Tip No. 3: Eat two fruits a day, one of which is a banana.

Tip No. 4: Eat a small piece of chocolate each day. This is another of my secrets. My children try to stop me but they don't succeed.

Tip No. 5: Drink a small glass of port wine in the evening. Portuguese port is my favourite.

Tip No. 6: Eat a good breakfast every day.

Tip No. 7: One multivitamin is essential every morning. Make sure you take all your other medication regularly.

Tip No. 8: Eat six almonds every day.

Tip No. 9: Drink a lot of water. I always have two glasses for the night.

Tip No. 10: Keep moving.

Although one would think that I am “retired”, I can't really say that is true. Every day, I get up by 6:30 and by 8:30, I'm ready for breakfast. I putter around the whole day with just a short nap – if I'm not too busy - in the afternoon.

Tip No. 11: Keep your attitude positive and always smile.

Attitude in life is so important. Try to be cheerful as much as possible. I wake up

happy. There's no time to be grumpy.

Tip No. 12: Surround yourself with loving people.

Make friends. I love to have people around me and I love to talk to people. Don't stay alone because loneliness can make you sick.

Tip No. 13: Don't give up.

Persevere in whatever you do and you will get there. Many times, I've been tired but I pushed myself and I made it.

Tip No. 14: Relax.

Stress is a problem for today's generation. We never knew this word. I see my children tired and fed-up because they are working so hard. What is the purpose of this if your health gets ruined?

Tip No. 15: Don't forget your religion and prayer – this is healing for your mind, body and spirit.

Finally, the Good Lord is in my life all the time. I pray and have so much faith in God, this gives me strength.

***

15 TIPS OF WISDOM FOR A LONG AND HEALTHY LIFE

by Quitty Menezes (Switzerland)

Quitty was born in Pemba and lived in Zanzibar until she married the late Pius Menezes in 1952 in Nairobi, Kenya. They started their business, Minni Electronics, together with Quitty managing the film library, accounts and administration for close to 40 years. Leading a very hectic social life with Pius, Quitty became well known for her fine cuisine. After some 50 years in Kenya, Quitty now lives in Switzerland, with her daughter, Vicki and, son-in-law, Mark. Her other children, Debbie (married to Dave), Malcolm (married to Anthoulla) and Penny live in the UK. Quitty is blessed with seven grandchildren and two great grandchildren.

Visit us at femnet.goanet.org

This is my prayer and desire for the rest of my sojourn on this earth: to grow older gracefully.

I am 80 years of age, enjoying good health. My body is as strong as can be. My mind though suffers now and then from lapses of concentration but I do not worry about this!

I enjoy good health which, I believe, is a result of healthy eating in our youth and later years. We had none of the junk food that most, if not all, of us now consume. Happily, lack of money played an important role in preventing us from unhealthy eating.

At age 75, my husband, Richard and I retired from our active lives in Nairobi, Kenya and came to Goa for retired residency. In due course, I discovered that this life would soon make me a vegetative person. So, I made an effort to take control of my life and begin some activities to keep my mind active. I soon discovered that this was not too difficult or impossible a task.

My first priority was to socialize with other women. I joined a Grandmother's group where 25 of us between ages of 70 and 85 meet once a month for fun, lunch and interaction. We continue this on an individual basis.

I set out to start an online initiative, Femnet, a monthly newsletter for international women, by women, hosted by Goanet and

was joined by seven other women who were willing to give their precious time too. I am proud to add that this Initiative is fast gaining momentum and our known subscribers now number 350+.

Whereas in Kenya, we had domestic help, there is a lack of this here as very few women in Goa wish to work outside their homes. It means doing your own housework, cooking and cleaning. I soon discovered that this was another plus point to maintaining good health.

Daily brief readings of the Scripture and relevant books have helped my mind immensely. Thankfully, I am not a fanatic! In-house exercises have helped me too. These are mainly on my bed or on the floor, so as not to injure my knees, due to my weight problem.

I did a lot of voluntary social work in Kenya, helping those who could not help themselves, giving selflessly, always within my physical and financial means, expecting nothing in return but love and wellbeing. This helps me remain positive and grateful that I have something to share.

I endeavour to keep in contact with my relatives and friends here and overseas, another very healthy activity. So much happiness can be gained from regular communications with your dear ones. I especially enjoy communicating every

w e e k e n d w i t h m y c h i l d r e n : C y n t h i a / J o h n / 1 8 y e a r o l d g r a n d s o n , Joseph in the U . K . a n d D o u g l a s / Bubbles/11 y e a r o l d g r a n d s o n , S k y i n K e n y a . I t c e r t a i n l y makes me happy and is uplifting and fulfilling.

In conclusion, I wish to give some motherly/grandmotherly advice to members of our younger generations:

• Take good care of the lovely bodies that He has given you.

• Do some mental exercises, read the Scriptures daily. Do not impose your beliefs on others.

• Try simple gentle indoor exercises, swimming or walking if you can.

• And last of all, give love and receive love in return.

Be blessed

GROWING OLDER GRACEFULLY, BEING HEALTHY IN BODY AND MIND

by Betsy Pinto-Nunes (Founder of Femnet - Goa, India)

Issue 19 | Page 3Visit us at femnet.goanet.org

“It's all in the mind “my parish priest would have said if you complained about feeling sick or the excesses of weather. And I would like to think he is right. You are only as old as you feel, and though I am in my late 70's, my mind thinks I am still in my 40's. I don't worry about wrinkles or Botox that would improve the signs of ageing.

I have been given a new remedy of an ageing cream which I have abandoned not because I do not need it, but because I do not take the trouble to look into my magnifying mirror to detect the signs of crow's feet or puffy eyelids. I feel happy with the way I look with just foundation cream, blusher powder and lipstick to see me through. I do not go for night creams or sun blocs either because psychologically that only reminds me that I am getting old.

However I am concerned about how much I eat only because I do not want to be obese. I love greens, fruit and fish because they give me the necessary vitamins and roughage for my digestive system.

Taking daily exercise is of paramount importance unless I have spent a lot of time during the day with the house chores. As for

The language you use and the company you keep is re levant to how graceful you wish to appear.

Politeness and a s en se o f gratitude for f a v o u r s received is a sign of good breeding and the way you are on your way to growing old gracefully. People notice you from the way you behave and it is important that they maintain their good impression of you. And should you continue to behave civilly; the whole family will follow your mannerisms. Maintaining a circle of good friends or at least one whom you can absolutely confide in is very uplifting. This way you do not get weighed down by thoughts that trouble you and secrets are better halved when shared.

YOU ARE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU FEEL

by Lira Cordeiro (Berkshire, UK)

Lira Cordeiro is an ex-teacher who has been married for 54 years and is still very much in love with her husband Rufino. She has three daughters, and two grandchildren. They have a beautiful house in Saligao, Goa, which they visit annually. Lira thrives on community work in her village in Bray, Berkshire.

what I wear to flatter my figure, I feel obliged to wear the colours that suit me and the styles which are mine alone. I do not bother what others wear and I am sometimes critical of their choice. I love to receive compliments on the way I am turned out, but if none is coming, I am in no way disappointed, as long as I am happy with the way I look.

Contentment, continuing contentment is vital. To afford the luxury to share a study with a husband such as mine who is always at peace with himself is a perfect haven. It is important to shun worry and fears for the sake of stress, health problems and sleepless nights. Depression and hatred is a horrible side effect of worry, antagonising the people you live with and the friends you love.

Fresh air and a positive outlook will revive your personality, as will exercise, a change of scene or a holiday. It is said that laughter is the best medicine even when dealing with people who are inferiors like servants or people who do not share the same social class as you do. My Czech gardener has an odd sense of humour. To be around him I feel like I have been at a comedy show. He revives my spirits even when I think I am low.

MARIA BEATRICE NAZARETH – MATRIARCH OF THE NAZARETH FAMILY

A loving tribute by her children, Felix and Hazel, Victor and Monica and Greta (Sydney, Australia)

Maria Beatrice Nazareth resides in Sydney, Australia. Her life started in Goa (the tiniest state in India) 96 years ago in a small village called Carona. She studied there and shortly after finishing, her mother made the arrangements for her marriage to a tall young handsome man, Avelino Nazareth, who lived and worked in Nairobi, Kenya.

Once in Nairobi, Beatrice had to meet the challenges of her new life head-on with no female or family support. Language (Kiswahili) was the biggest obstacle but it is something she still remembers.

Motherhood came knocking and she had to pick up the skills of looking after newborn, Felix. All of these cha l l enges b rough t ou t he r innermost strength, steely will power and courage. Most important was her unfailing faith in Jesus and Mother Mary which she still tenaciously holds on to.

The rumbling of a world war found Beatrice pregnant and they both decided that she should head home by ship to Goa with young Felix. Victor was born in Goa and, as the war was ending, she went back to Nairobi to reunite with Avelino. The harsh reality of war was still around and life proved an even bigger struggle. Beatrice once again brought all her resources to the fore.

Little Greta came along and, as soon as she

settled in school, Beatrice began a job search to help with family finances. With no formal training she learned “on the job” through sheer determination and her quiet inner strength. From a small suburban job, she found employment at the Power & Lighting Company head office, all the time gaining

experience and practical knowledge still stored in her memory banks.

Beatrice's life was full. Her quiet manner and disposition earned her many friends – all assisting each other. She took great and special pleasure in silently helping the needy ones. Along the way, she picked up cooking and gardening skills which are still a drawing card today!

Beatrice and Avelino retired in Goa, but this time travelling was a lot faster as it was by air. Now in her sixties, she had to make a fresh

start and get used to a different way of life, b u t h e r q u i e t d e t e rm i n a t i o n a nd stubbornness saw her through. She nursed her mother through old age and illness to the end while running the household for her husband, her brother and herself.

Caregiving seemed to be a role she easily stepped into. Beatrice looked after bed-ridden Avelino for seven years at home as medical quality was very poor. When Avelino passed away, she opted to take care of her brother instead of joining the family in Australia. It was only after her brother's death she finally agreed to migrate to Australia at the tender age of 86 – joining the Jet Age!

Nothing fazes her; she just takes e v e r y t h i n g i n h e r s t r i d e . Bingo/Tombola is her passion and word search......you should see her work through the books! After her hard

life, you think she would want to relax and be looked after. No such thing! Her fighting spirit shines through. She still remembers recipes and cooks traditional Goan dishes, and they have to be just right. No shortcuts, woe is you if you do!

Beatrice will celebrate her 96th Birthday on November 13th 2013

Mum/Nana: Here's a toast to many more years of Health and Happiness.

May you live to see 100 Years!!

Beatrice with her family

Issue 19 | Page 4Visit us at femnet.goanet.org

Ageing is one of those things none of us can avoid. I find there is a lot of negativity about the subject here in Australia and other parts of the developed world. We live in a youth-focused world of slim, beautiful and wrinkle-free (albeit airbrushed) women. Barry Humphries, the Australian comedian, said that “wrinkles are but the creek beds of old smiles.”

There is not much said in the popular media about happy ageing. Here are some thoughts I share from my own experience.

Financial Planning

It is all very well to say that we should plan for old age. When you are young and lithe of limb, and perhaps, financially struggling with your career; and/or bringing up children, it seems too far away. Advertisements such as “How to retire on as little as Australian $ 250,000” are beyond most women who started late to pay superannuation. However, it is important that you don't end up at 75 years, having gone through all your money facing life without perks in your 80's. So working a little longer, or putting away some money for enjoyment in your old age makes good sense.

Retaining health through exercise

In addition to finances, the body also dwindles, but the good news is that you can retain your health through exercise. Don't let the medical fraternity tell you that your

everyday life.

Enjoy time with friends

Enjoy time with friends - there is nothing to soothe the soul like old friends, but try to make new ones as well, preferably young ones that you have to tell your life s t o r y t o s o t h e y c a n understand how you got to be who you are.

Mentoring

With age comes wisdom, they say, so kill three birds with one stone by mentoring – then you are in contact with young people, giving back to the community, and your area of expertise.

Some things will change no doubt about that, but 'the essential you is still there with all those needs, desires and ambitions'. I started a PhD in 2005 at the age of 65 years and published a book at the age of 71 years. 'See

that you challenge yourself to meet them in these precious and heady days of your lives'.

***

AGEING – THOUGHTS FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

Dr Pam O'Connor (Western Australia)

Pam lives in Perth, Western Australia and is 73 years but still continues to work as a psychologist with a private practice.

ailment is due to old age, ever. Investigate thoroughly and get a definite diagnosis. Then let it settle, and if not life threatening, I find most things will go away in a few months.

Opening up your senses

Opening up your senses and being aware of them is another life-affirming exercise. The feel of a silk scarf, a deep breath of a rose or jasmine, the flowering trees in spring, a cup of well-made coffee, or tea in a bone china cup, listening to music like “The Lark Ascending” are all sensual enjoyments which cue the brain to produce extra endorphins.

Challenge yourself

Challenge yourself any way you can – mentally and physically, then you won't lose your conf idence. Take up new interests which you have not had time to explore, sort out all those o ld pho tos , l ea rn a new language, and new technology – how many of us avoid it, but it can be rewarding. With persistence, and a patient teacher, a whole new world opens up that takes us out of our

GROWING OLD GRACEFULLY – A BEAUTIFUL CONCEPT

By Lakshmi Persaud (UK)

Growing old gracefully is a most beautiful concept when it is attached

to healthy living.

But growing old per se is not welcomed by the developed west. When it a r r i v e s , surgery stands by offering a f a c e l i f t ; p h a r m a c i e s present lotions a n d c r e a m s which promise

to preserve and protect us. Ageing is fought against.

In Eastern cultures, old age is respected; it is perceived as a part of life, like the falling of autumn leaves. In the east, grandparents see themselves and their parents in the faces, at t i tudes, and manner isms of the i r grandchildren. This contributes to their understanding of immortality and plays its part in ageing gracefully if poverty does not handicap them.

What does growing old gracefully really mean?

In this context, gracefully is not easily defined, but the essence of this group of words come close to it: cultivated, dignified, refined, discerning, considerate in thought and manner.

Growing old gracefully also means that you've accepted the natural scheme of things and have deferred to it with good will. It does not mean that for most of the time you're reading a book seated on a rocking chair. Oh no!

In your heyday you were multi-tasking, and were able to create a warm amiable place called a home for the healthy mental and physical development of your children; a place for family and friends to relax and enjoy a conversation of differing minds and a delicious meal.

Now you are free; those who couldn't find a pair of socks that matched, have left home and are no longer wearing socks. Your mind is still ticking away however, for it has been doing so all your life.

Now it ventures forth bravely into the wide world and is seduced by possibilities: skiing holidays, book clubs, holiday travel, frequent visits to museums, art galleries, plays, concerts, studying Chinese porcelain, discovering the contributions of ancient cultures to our development while taking a close interest in the new internet technology, by asking one of your grandchildren who has

become a wizard at it to show you the way.

There is too, that quiet, spiritually uplifting satisfaction of sitting outside a cafeteria, warm coffee in hand, looking out at the world hurrying past. You are at peace, at ease with the vibrancy of life.

Grace in one's thinking comes from the contentment that forms the foundation of discernment, enfolded by wisdom; one knows what to worry about, what to leave well alone. How to manage one's emotions when faced with discourtesy, what advice to offer when asked and when to say no in the nicest possible way.

I have observed that poor health not infrequently, comes with ageing. Numerous aches and pains affect the mind, the mood, the temperament of individuals; anger and depression soon follow. This is why growing old gracefully is attached to good health.

Age ing g race fu l l y r equ i r e s a deep understanding of life and the wisdom it has to offer, as well as a personality that is open to change, one that is happy to reconsider with care an accepted old idea, putting it away if outdated.

Let us be vigilant, for healthy living enables us to embrace this most beautiful concept of ageing gracefully.

***

Dr Pam O'Connor at the launchof her book in Perth in 2012,

the book was featured inFemnet Issue 1 of Femnet