a step-by-step approach to building a personal network of ... · managing your depression...

A Step-by-Step Approach to Building a

Personal Network of SupportDD60118 1209 PRINTED IN USA. © 2010. Lilly USA, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Managing Your Depression

INTRODUCTION TO SUPPORT PARTNERS PROGRAMHow can Support Help You? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

What is a Support Partner? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2

How do I use this Guidebook? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

STEP 1: Recognizing DepressionWhat is Depression? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5

The Goal of Treatment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

STEP 2: Choosing ASupport PartnerThe Power of Support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

Finding the Best Support Partner for You . . . . . 11

Things to Think about Before Choosing . . . . . . . 14

What if You Can’t Think of Someone? . . . . . . . . . 16

STEP 3: Asking For SupportHow to Ask for Support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

Do You Need More than one Support Partner? . 19

What if Someone says “No"? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

STEP 4: Building a PartnershipLearning about Depression Together . . . . . . . . . 21

How can Your Support Partner Help You? . . . . . 22

Setting Future Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

STEP 5: Managing Your DepressionSeeking Help From a Doctor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

Mapping Out a Care Plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

Depression and Suicide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

Holding the Hope . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

Keeping a Diary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

Setting Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33

Taking Care of Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

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A Support Partner is someone who is dedicated to helping you get well.

Introduction to Support Partners

with depression to get help from a doctor. A

doctor can work with you to find a care plan

that is best for you.

If you think you might have depression, or

if your doctor said you have it, you are not

alone. The goal of Support Partners is to help

you build a group of friends that can give you

support. The program also offers useful tips

for dealing with new depression experiences.

Your chances of being healthy can really

improve by making and keeping good social

relationships.

What is a Support Partner? A Support Partner is someone who is dedi-

cated to helping you get well. This person can

be someone to cheer you on or listen to you

when you need them; he or she can support

you and help you understand that you can get

better from depression.If you think you might

have depression, or if your doctor said you

have it, there’s no reason to feel alone.

Support can be given in many different ways,

depending on what you need. Some people



Support Partners is a program for people with

depression — and the people who care about them.

How can Support Help You?Depression can make people feel alone. It

can cause them to back away from family,

friends and loved ones. They may also feel

hopeless at times. They may suddenly find

it hard to do the things they once enjoyed.

Since depression can be difficult to talk

about, having support can make a differ-

ence in someone’s life.

Remember, it is important for a person


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give you a chance to tell them about your

personal experiences. It can also help you talk

about your goals for getting better. You can

also use the guidebook to help you find a doctor

and decide on a long-term care plan. On top

of that, the guidebooks provide more places to

find information.


may need a Support Partner to provide a

safe place for talking about their feelings.

Others might need help with daily chores.

Anyone can be your Support Partner — fam-

ily, friends, co-workers, neighbors, spiritual

leaders or others.

How do I use this Guidebook? The Managing Your Depression guidebook

gives step-by-step instructions for building

a group to support you. Each step offers

different tips, including how to see the signs

and symptoms of depression. It will also

teach you how to find a Support Partner.

This guidebook is one of three Support

Partners guidebooks. Being a Support

Partner was created to help your friend(s)

learn how they can support you. You should

give a copy to each of your Support Partners.

Also, we strongly urge you and your Sup-

port Partner(s) to read the Shared Guidebook

together. This guidebook can help you

begin an important conversation about

depression. The shared guidebook can

4Introduction to Support Partners

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Recognizing Depression Recognizing Depression 6

STEP 1: Recognizing Depression

What is Depression?

Depression is a real illness and requires treatment. No one

chooses to be depressed.

One thought is that it is caused

by not having enough of certain

chemicals in the brain. Depression

can make people feel and act differently.

Everyone has a different experience with depres-

sion. It can start because of a single event or

stress. It may also run in the family or it may have

no outside cause at all. Also, when signs, or symp-

toms, don’t all go away it is more likely to come

back — but getting well is possible. Nobody should

settle for feeling only a little better. Most people

with the illness get better with the right care.


7 8Recognizing DepressionRecognizing Depression

Nobody should settle for feeling only a little better.

themselves. That way, they can move forward

with their lives. Symptoms that don’t go away

completely can hurt a person’s chances of stay-

ing well. It may also increase the risk of symp-

toms coming back. Nobody should settle for

feeling only a little better. Finding a doctor and

sticking with treatment can help keep a person

with depression on the road to wellness. On top

of that, getting support from a friend or loved

one can also help.

Emotional

• Sadness throughout the day, nearly every day

• Loss of interest in, or enjoyment of, your favorite activities

• Feelings of worthlessness

• Excessive or inappropriate feelings of guilt

• Thoughts of death or suicide

• Trouble making decisions

Physical

• Fatigue or lack of energy

• Sleeping too much or too little

• Change in appetite or weight

• Trouble concentrating

• Restlessness

• Feeling slowed down

COMMON SYMPTOMS

Depression has many signs, or symptoms:

Talk to a doctor if both of the following occur:

• Sadness or loss of interest close to every day for at least two weeks

• At least four other signs from the list above during the same two weeks

The Goal of TreatmentThe goal of any care plan is to help people with

depression get back to feeling and acting like

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10Choosing a Support Partner

STEP 2: Choosing a Support Partner

The Power of Support

Asking for a helping hand or shoulder to lean on does not need to make you feel embarrassed. It means that

you are working hard to get better. In fact, hav-

ing a Support Partner can have many benefits.

A Support Partner can:

• Give you hope that you can get better

• Help you follow your progress

• See changes that may show your depression is coming back or getting worse

• Help you find a doctor

• Go to doctor visits with you

Choosing a Support Partner 10


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Finding the Best Support Partner for You Use the tools on the next page to write down

everyone you have a relationship with. You may

already have someone you want to be your Sup-

port Partner. If not, making a list may help you

think of someone. You may also want more than

one Support Partner. If so, this list can help you

think of all the people you can ask. Remember, it

can be important to have a Support Partner, but

they cannot replace help from a doctor.

• Spouse

• Life partner

• Boyfriend or girlfriend

• Family member (mother, father, sibling, aunt, uncle, etc.), in-law

• Close friend

• Teacher/coach

• PTA member

• Playgroup moms/dads

• Spiritual leader

• Religious or spiritual group

• Close colleague

• Current or old neighbor

• Roommate

• College or school friend

Choosing a Support Partner

Tools to identify a Support Partner

Among others, a Support Partner can be a:

11 Choosing a Support Partner

Write your list here:


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Things to Think about before ChoosingYou now have an idea of who may be a good

Support Partner. Next, you can start thinking

about where you need support. You may need

emotional support or maybe you need practical

support. Thinking about what kind of support

you need will help you choose the right Support

Partner. Also, it is important to make sure that

you choose someone who has enough time to

help you. Avoid choosing someone who travels

too often and won’t always be reachable.

Choosing a Support PartnerChoosing a Support Partner

After you’ve made a list, fill in this chart to narrow

down the people you know. Split them up based

on their special skills and personalities. Fill in

each part of this chart with the first few people

that come to mind. Then, check if someone’s name

comes up more than once. He or she could be a

great choice for a Support Partner.

People I feel comfortable being honest with:

People who are patient and understanding:

People who will not judge me:

People who I trust to keep my feelings private:

Potential Support Partners

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15 Choosing a Support Partner

Don’t be nervous. There will always be people willing to support you.

If you’re not sure what type of help you need, you

might want to ask yourself these questions:What if You can’t Think of Someone or You are Worried About “Bothering” People? Don’t be nervous. There will always be people

willing to support you; just open up your search.

Take another look at your list and think about

looking for support in unlikely places:

• Think about contacting local depression support groups. Check the “Shared Guidebook” for resources.

• Can your spiritual leader suggest anyone?

• What about asking your main doctor for some suggestions?

1. Do you feel lonely a lot? Y N

2. Do you hide your feelings and emotions? Y N

3. Do you wish you had someone to talk to about your feelings, but think no one will care or understand? Y N

4. Are you afraid to tell people that you have an illness and need someone you can be yourself with? Y N

If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, you may

need a Support Partner who can be there for you emotionally.

1. Do you feel as though the stresses and chores

of everyday life are too much to handle? Y N

2. Are you forgetting to do things at home or at work? Y N

3. Do you feel like you are not giving your children enough attention and everyday help? Y N

If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, you may need a Support Partner who can provide practical help with errands or housekeeping.

Questions Set 1:

Questions Set 2:

16Choosing a Support Partner

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Asking for Support

STEP 3: Asking for Support

You’ve found someone who may be able to support you. Now, it is time to ask for help. The truth is, we all

need a little help once in a while. You may be

surprised to learn that many people you know

will be happy to help you — some of them may

have also had depression or know others who

have it. Remember, depression is an illness.

It may not go away without a care plan which

may include support of family or friends. May-

be the thought of asking for support scares

you. If so, you can ask your potential Support

Partner to review the guidebooks with you as a

first step.

How to ask for SupportIf you’re not sure how to begin, these might be

some ways to start the conversation:

• “You know … I just got tired of feeling

Asking for Support 18


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Look at their honesty as a sign of respect for you. Please understand that “no” was probably very hard for them to say.

Asking for Support Asking for Support

Each person experiences

depression differently

and may need support

in different ways.

down all the time. I found a doctor who is helping me to live the life I really want. I’d like to tell you about it …”

• “Like a lot of other people, I have down days, but I’m learning that I have depression and I need to work on my wellness a bit more than others …”

• “I’m thinking of going to see a doctor because I’m not feeling like myself, and I would like to tell you about it …”

• “I feel so lonely and overwhelmed lately. I think I need someone to talk to …”

• “I know our relationship has been tense lately and …”

• “My doctor says I have depression. I’m get-ting treatment to help me feel better, but I think I will need support in the meantime …”

Do You Need More than One Support Partner? Each person experiences depression differently

and may need support in different ways. If you

think you need a lot of support, you may want

more than one Support Partner. If your first

choice does not have a lot of free time, you might

also want to find extra Support Partners. It may

be good to have someone around to help with

everyday chores. It may be useful to have

people who will lighten your load for a little

while so you can focus on feeling better.

What if Someone Says “No?” Some people may not be able to give you the

time you need. Maybe they have work, family

and other responsibilities. They may feel they

can’t devote enough time to be a good Sup-

port Partner. This does not mean they don’t

care about you; it just means they can’t take

on the extra responsibility right now. Look

at their honesty as a sign of respect for you.

Please understand that “no” was probably

very hard for them to say.

Remember, we can’t know everything about

each other’s lives. Be nice to them and stay

open to having a relationship with them.

Down the road, times may be better for both

of you. As a next step, look back at your list of

possible Support Partners to choose some-

one else.

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Building a Partnership

STEP 4:Building a Partnership

Learning about Depression Together

While talking honestly with your Sup-port Partner(s) about your feelings, you may run into misunderstandings

or stereotypes. It is important to remember that

depression is a real illness of the mind and body and

most people need treatment to get better.

There are many ways for you and your Support Part-

ner to learn about the illness. For more informa-

tion, go to www.SupportPartnersProgram.com. You

can also check the Shared Guidebook for additional

resources. You may also want to ask your Support

Partner to go to a doctor visit with you. This can give

them a chance to get some advice on how they can

help you. It can also be a good time to discuss any of

their fears or concerns with your doctor.

Building a Partnership 22

Managing Your DepressionManaging Your Depression

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Be very specific

about the things you would like help with.

Also let them know

the things you can

handle on your own.

Building a Partnership

How can Your Support Partner Help You?Now that you have started a conversation about

depression with your Support Partner, you can

start to figure out how they can best help you.

Since you’ve already thought about the support

you need — practical and/or emotional — you

can be open and clear about your needs. Be

very specific about the things you would like

help with. Also let them know the things you can

handle on your own. This will help your Support

Partner. It will set clear boundaries for your

future partnership.

These are some examples of emotional and

practical support to consider. Use the extra

space to note your specific needs.

• Call me every night to check in

• Get together with me once a week

• Help me spot my depression signs and the things that

set them off

• Cheer me on to stick with my care plan

• Help me follow my progress

• Help me set real short-term goals, if suggested by

my doctor

• Push me to stay as active as possible

Emotional vs. Practical Support

Emotional Support:

•

•

•

•

•

•

23 Building a Partnership


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• Help me make an appointment with my doctor

• Drive me to doctors appointments

• Help me pick my kids up from school or after-school activities

• Help me with health care paperwork

• Help me cook dinner once in a while

• Run errands with me

• Arrange a time to walk or go to the gym with me

• Make a date to go to the movies with me

Practical vs. Emotional Support

Practical Support:

•

•

•

•

•

•

Building a Partnership Building a Partnership 26

Setting Future GoalsHaving a Support Partner to help with everyday

tasks can be a big help. Sharing this load will let you

focus on getting well. However, you and your Sup-

port Partner need to make a plan that will help you

eventually take over these tasks. Working toward,

and reaching each goal, can help you on the road to

recovery.

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STEP 5: Managing Your Depression

Seeking Help from a Doctor

If you haven’t already, contact a doctor to talk about your depression. Include your Support Partner in this process. If you need to, ask your

Support Partner to help you find a doctor. You can

also ask them to go to an appointment with you. For

more information on how to find a doctor, check the

Shared Guidebook.

Mapping out a Care PlanOne thing you can do with your Support Partner is

to decide on a care plan together. You can then work

together to reach care goals. The first step for doing

this is to create a care plan.

Your Support Partner can help you figure out your

care plan. They can also cheer you on along the

way. But, only you can choose your goals and work

to reach them. To create a care plan, look at the

Managing Your Depression 28


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One of the best things you can do with your Support Partner is to decide on a plan together. You can then work together to reach care goals. The first step for doing this is to create a care plan.

thoughts lead to people taking their own life.

If you ever think about ending your life, you

should seek medical help immediately. If

you can’t reach your doctor, go to the nearest

emergency room. You can call 911 or the Na-

tional Suicide Prevention Hotline, 1-800-SUI-

CIDE. Help is available day or night.

There may be times when your symptoms get

worse. These may be times when you start to

think about taking your own life. Contact your

doctor immediately if you feel your depression

symptoms are getting worse. Also, call right

away if you begin to think of suicide. Contact

your doctor immediately if you see any unusual

changes in your behavior or if you have other

concerns. Never wait to get in touch with your

doctor if you are worried.

Look at the Shared Guidebook to learn more

about where to find help from support groups,

as well as mental health agencies.

Holding the HopeFeeling more like yourself can take time. Even

when you are taking a medicine, going to talk

Shared Guidebook. It will show you ways to get

started and specific examples. It can also help

you find a doctor and decide on a long-term care

plan.

Depression and SuicideAs someone with depression, it is important that

you understand the relationship between the

illness and suicide. Suicide is when someone

takes their own life. Not all people with depres-

sion think about suicide. Also, not all suicidal

A care plan can help you:

• Decide on goals (if goal-setting is approved by your doctor)

• Figure out things or specific times that may cause your depression to get worse

• Outline a care plan that can be used to move beyond the illness

• Make a list of early signs that may mean that depression is coming back

Mapping out a care plan

Managing Your Depression Managing Your Depression


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Feeling more like your-

self can take time. This

is true even when you

are taking a medicine,

going to talk therapy or

both.

therapy or both. There may be days when you

feel that getting well is impossible. This is not

unusual. Your Support Partner can help you

to not lose hope. Ask your Support Partner to

remind you that things will get better. Ask them

to remind you to stick with your care plan. Also,

make sure to talk with your doctor if you’re not

getting better.

Keeping a Diary It is important that you stick with the care plan

your doctor recommends. You should also keep

track of how the plan is working. One way to do

this is to keep a diary. If you don’t feel up to it,

your Support Partner may be able do this with

you. You can take it over later, when you begin to

feel better.

If you share your diary with your Support Partner,

they can cheer you on as you start to feel better.

Your Support Partner can also watch for signs

that your symptoms may be coming back. Think

about your depression symptoms as you and your

Support Partner write in your diary. Write as little

or as much as you want, which could include

things like:

• How did you sleep last night?

• Did you feel hopeless at any point today?

• Did anything special occur today that was hard to deal with?

• How was your energy level?

• Did you feel overwhelmed?

• Did you have any pain?

• What were some things you just couldn’t deal with doing today?

• What do you wish you had the energy for/interest in today?

Remember to keep track of the progress you



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Remember to keep

track of the progress you

have made. Also pay

attention to the things that show

that you are getting back

to being yourself,

such as what things were you able to

do today?

have made. Also pay attention to the things that

show that may show you are getting back to be-

ing yourself, such as:

• Did you eat well today?

• What things were you able to do today?

• Did you go to therapy/take your medicine today?

• What did you feel you were able to get done today?

• What did you do today that you wouldn’t have done before?

Setting GoalsOnce you start to feel a little better, setting

goals can be an important part of getting well.

But, you should first make sure your doctor says

it is okay to set goals. Your Support Partner can

help you remember things you used to enjoy or

do well. With time and work, you can enjoy these

things again. Share your list with your Support

Partner so they can cheer you on as you reach

your goals.

These goals will be very personal, but here are

some ideas to start you off:

Taking Care of Yourself You wouldn’t run a race the day after having surgery.

Getting better from depression can also take time.

Remember, your Support Partner is there to help

you, but you need to take care of yourself, as well.

Take care of yourself by eating well, getting enough

rest and getting exercise. Talk to your doctor before

starting an exercise plan. Remember to think posi-

tively and let go of negative thoughts.


I would like to:

• Get my garden looking good again

• Have a day when I don’t feel overwhelmed at work

• Meet with my book club again

• Have my family over for a Sunday barbecue

• Get back into my weekly bike ride

• Meet friends for lunch

• Join the bowling league again

Potential Goals:


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