a home in drayton valley

7/31/2019 A Home in Drayton Valley

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A H ome in D rayton

V al ley

A N o V e l

Kim Vogel Sawyer

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2012 by Kim Vogel Sawyer

Published by Bethany House Publishers11400 Hampshire Avenue SouthBloomington, Minnesota 55438www.bethanyhouse.com

Bethany House Publishers is a division o Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan

Printed in the United States o America

All rights reserved. No part o this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrievalsystem, or transmitted in any orm or by any means or example, electronic, photocopy,recordingwithout the prior written permission o the publisher. The only exceptionis brie quotations in printed reviews.

Library o Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataSawyer, Kim Vogel.

A home in Drayton Valley / Kim Vogel Sawyer.p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-7642-1054-9 (alk. pbk.) ISBN 978-0-7642-0788-4 (pbk.)

1. PioneersKansasFiction. 2. Wagon trainsKansasFiction. 3. Li echange eventsFiction. 4. Man-woman relationshipsFiction. 5. Domesticction. I. Title.

PS3619.A97H66 2012813 .6dc23 2012013131

Scripture quotations are rom the King James Version o the Bible.

The poem Tarsie sings in Chapter 8 is rom The Last Rose o Summer by ThomasMoore.

Cover design by Lookout Design, Inc.

12 13 14 15 16 17 18 7 6 5 4 3 2 1


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1

N e w Y o r k C i t Y

M a r C h 1 8 8 0

Tarsie Raines clutched the collar o her cloak beneathher chin and prayed the gusts o wind tugging at the

patched bombazine wouldnt carry her away like a kite be oreshe reached her destination. Dark clouds hovered above theroo tops, promising a shower and giving the lthy city streetsa gray cast that masked the midmorning hour.

The heels o her shoes tick-tocked against the cobblestone,steady as a clocks pendulum, despite having to wend betweenvendors carts, groups o begging urchins, and the endlessthrongs o milling humanity. Odors sh, rotting vegetables,bodies too long unbathedassaulted her nose, stirred by thedamp breeze whisking rom the bay. Her cloak slipped romher shoulder and its tail slapped the leg o a man leaningnegligently on a rickety stair railing. She jerked the abricback into place but not be ore the man sent a leering grin thattraveled rom her unraveling braid to the scu ed toes o herwell-worn boots. Tarsie hugged the leather pouch containingher herbal cures to her bodice and shivered, but not rom cold.

How she wanted out o this city! Mary did, too. Oh, Lord,please . . .


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A Home in Drayton Val le y

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The prayer, a helpless plea, winged rom her heart asmore than a dozen others had since shed ound the tattered

copy o James Redpaths Handbook of Kansas in an alley aweek ago. Although her deepest yearnings ound no utter-ance, she trusted that the Lord she loved and served couldread the wordless groanings o her heart and would answerin a way per ect or Mary. But so much rested on Maryshusband, Joss, and what he would say. And Joss had no use

or the Lord.

The rst cool raindrops plopped onto the dirt-crustedcobblestone as Tarsie reached the brick tenement that housedMarys amily. She darted inside, grate ul to have escaped adousing. Her wool-and-cotton cloak was ar too heavy orbalmy springtime. But Tarsie owned no other covering, soshe wore the cloak year-round. It helped hide the sad dressbeneath it.

Tarsie made her way up the narrow concrete stairway lit-tered with ood scraps, crumpled paper, and animal drop-pings. Somewhere in the building, a babys weak cry toreat Tarsies heart. Such su ering. Wasnt there a better li ewaiting elsewhere? Her ngers curled around the booklet inher pocket. Yes, a better li e awaited . . . in Kansas. Somehowshe must convince Joss o that truth.

The door to the Brubachers apartment stood open, invit-ing Tarsies entrance as it always did on Wednesdays. The chil-dren, Emmy and Nathaniel, dashed to greet her the momentshe stepped over the threshold. Tarsie gave the towheadedpair a hug, then glanced around the sparsely urnished butclean room. Wheres your mama? Tarsie hoped her riendhadnt ventured out or shopping. The rain would surely

bring on another cold, and Marys weakened lungs couldntabide one more illness. Tarsie marveled that the woman hadsurvived the winter.

Sweepin, Nathaniel said, tucking a nger into his mouth.


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Five-year-old Emmy wrinkled her nose at her little brother.Sull-eeping. She squared her skinny shoulders and beamed

at Tarsie. I xed biscuits an jam or Nattie an me. Mamasaid Im her best helper.Tarsie gave the little girls tangled hair a pat and managed

a smile, but inwardly she quaked. I Mary still lay in bed,something was amiss. With trembling hands, she draped hercloak over the single chair in the room. You two stay out hereand play quietly. Ill be seein to your mama. She pinched

the precious pouch between her elbow and ribs and scurriedinto the sleeping room beyond the living quarters, certainthe children would obey. They were bonny youngstersinall the months Tarsie had visited, shed rarely ound a needto scold them.

As the children had indicated, Mary lay on the lumpy bedthat lled the corner o the small room, eyes closed and lips

slightly parted. The pale pallor o her skin concerned Tarsie,as did the sheen o perspiration on her brow. Another ever?Tarsie sat on the edge o the bed, causing the springs to creak.Marys eyes uttered open as Tarsie placed the back o herhand gently against the womans moist orehead.

The heat rom Marys skin seared Tarsies esh. Her hearttripped in worry, but she clicked her tongue on her teeth and

shook her head, assuming a teasing tone. Look at you now,sound asleep in the middle o the mornin. Such a lazy oneyou are.

The corners o Marys mouth twitched upward in a eeblesmile. So you dont agree Ive earned a rest a ter doing laun-dry yesterday or my own amily plus our others? A sighheaved, carried on a wheezing breath. I have two more loads

to do today, though, so I should rise.And why are you still takin in laundry? Tarsie scowled,

all pretense at teasing orgotten. Didnt I tell you the lyeumes an plungin your hands again an again into water


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isnt good or you? I youre wantin to get better or good,you cannot

Mary struggled to prop hersel up with her elbows. I haveto work, Tarsie. Ive told you so. Her arms gave way, andshe collapsed against the soiled pillows.

Well, you wont be doin any laundry today. Tarsieopped her age-worn pouch open. Her most valuable pos-

session, she always kept her great-aunts medicinal pouchwith her. She never knew when the cures inside might o er

com ort and healing to some poor soul. The cures had beenused or Mary more than anyone else. I only something inthe leather pouch would heal Mary or good.

Tarsies ngers sought the small packet o holy basil. Theherb had e ectively reduced Marys ever in the past. Imthinkin this new illness ought to tell you leanin over a wash-tub does you no good.

It wasnt doing the wash that caused my sickness, Marysaid.

Tarsie whisked a glance around the room and noted thewindow opened at least six inches. She pointed. Did Jossleave the windows open all night again? Ive told you, thenight air . . . Tarsie shook her head, too rustrated to con-tinue. She stomped to the window and gave it a push that

settled the rame against the sill with a thump. Sometimesshe wondered i Joss had no interest in keeping his wi ehealthy. He stubbornly re used to ollow any o her direc-tions. Hands on hips, she aced Mary. Ill be havin a chatwith him, an

No. Marys voice, although weak, sounded rm. Heworks so hard during the day. He needs his rest, and he sleeps

better with a little cool air in his ace.Tears pricked Tarsies eyes. Mary was the most giving,

unsel sh person shed ever known. Why couldnt Joss panderto Mary the way she pandered to him? She moved to the bed


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and seated hersel again. But what o you? Is your sleep notimportant?

Ill be all right. Marys chapped lips curved into a wearysmile. Youll make me well again, as you always do.Oh, how Tarsie prayed Marys words proved true. She

loved this dear womanhad ever since their very rst meetingacross the apple vendors cart on the street not quite a yearago. God had orchestrated the crossing o their paths daysa ter shed laid her great-aunt to rest, just at the time Tarsie

desperately needed a riend. Her eyes slipped closed. Helpme get Mary out of this city, Lordaway from its dampbreezes that bother her lungs an from the vermin that crawlthrough her bed at night. Help me send her to a better place. . . even if it means I never see her again.

She rose, holding the little drawstring bag o crushed holybasil in her st. Then I better be brewin you some tea thatll

rid you o the ever, hmm?Marys hand snaked out and curled around Tarsies wrist.

And something or my strength? So I can work this a ternoon?Tarsie rowned. You cant be up workinnot when

youre sick. The people can wait or their wash.But they wont wait. Desperation colored Marys voice.

Theyll nd someone else to do their washing, and Ill lose

the money.Joss earns a decent wage at the docks. You shouldnt need

to be worryin about money.Mary pursed her lips and turned her ace away, alling

silent. Rain splatted against the closed window, and the chil-drens mufed voices carried rom the other room. Tarsiehated hurting her riend, but she knew Joss squandered a air

amount o his wage in the drinking and gambling saloons thatlined the docks. I he used his money or his amily instead,they could live in a better apartment and Mary would haveno need to bring in extra unds.


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The booklet in her pocket pressed against her thigh, re-minding her o Kansas and resh opportunities. Away rom

New York and the immoral businesses that tempted coinsrom a mans purse, would Joss nally become the kind o husband and ather Mary and the children needed? She oughtto brew the tea, but she sank back down on the mattress andtook Marys hand. The hot, dry skin with its calluses andbroken, brittle nails pained Tarsie. A gentle soul like Marydeserved so much better than she presently received.

Mary, I know youre wantin to leave this cityyouve toldme o ten how you pray more than dirty streets an a li etimeo living near the docks or your wee ones.

Mary shi ted her ace to meet Tarsies gaze. Longing glim-mered in her blue eyes, the wordless beseeching creating anache in the center o Tarsies chest.

Tarsie pulled the yellowed Handbook of Kansas rom her

pocket and opened it. Listen . . . She began to read. Dray-ton Valley, it is admitted by everyone, has the best rock-boundlanding, and is the best town site on the Missouri River. Wesay to the emigrant, come to Drayton Valley; believe as wedo, that it is destined to be the great emporium o the upperMissouri.

Mary plucked the booklet rom Tarsies hands and squinted

at the cover. Her brows crunched low. Kansas?To be sure. Tarsies heart pounded, hope swelling. She

jabbed her nger at a paragraph arther down the page. Seethere? It speaks o the busy steamboat trade. Joss knows dockwork, so hed surely nd a job. A town o two thousand, Mary,instead o this crowded, dirty city. Wouldnt it be a ne place

or you an or Emmy an wee Nathaniel? And maybe . . .

maybe . . . She swallowed. How she hated to remind Maryo Josss shortcomings, but her Bible taught her to alwaysspeak truth. Far rom here, maybe Jossll lose his taste or

requenting the saloons.


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Mary sucked in her lower lip. A single tear trickled downher wan cheek.

Tarsie squeezed her riends hand. Itd be a healin placeor you. For all o you. I eel it in the very center o my soul.Mary pulled her hand ree and rolled to her side, taking

the booklet with her. Brew my tea, please, Tarsie.With a sigh, Tarsie scu ed to the main room, where the

children played in the middle o the oor with a simple dollmade o rags and a tumble o discarded chunks o wood.

She paused long enough to praise them or being so good,then tossed a scoop o coal into the stoves belly and pouredthe remaining water rom a bucket beside the stove into apan. While the water heated, she hurried to the rain barrelsbehind the building to re ll the bucket.

To her relie , all our barrels were hal ull. With the morn-ings steady rain all, theyd easily over ow by mida ternoon,

guaranteeing more than enough water or her to ll a tub anddo the laundry Mary had promised to customers. Trudgingup the three ights o stairs with the ull bucket gripped inboth hands, she wondered how Mary in her weakened statehad managed to make this trek so many times. Why didnt

Joss insist she rest?Back in the apartment, Tarsie steeped the tea and carried

a mug ul o the strong-smelling brew to Mary. Expectingto nd her sleeping, she gave a jolt when she spotted Marypropped against the pillows, the Handbook of Kansas openbeneath her palms.

Mary looked up at Tarsie and released a sigh. Ive beenreading. And praying. Tears ooded her eyes. Tarsie, thisplace . . . the town called Drayton Valley . . . it seems to be

everything I want or my amily. So ar rom here . . . Hergaze dri ted to the window, where raindrops chased eachother down the cracked pane.

Tarsie scooted to the edge o the bed and pressed the mug


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into Marys hands. Drink. She waited until Mary tooka hesitant sip o the steaming liquid, hiding a smile at her

riends grimace. The tea tasted dread ul, but it worked,and that was what mattered. Retrieving the booklet romthe rumpled bed cover, Tarsie held it tight between her n-gers. A ter I ound this book lying in an alley last week,the pages wavin in the wind as i beckonin to me, I didsome checking at the railroad station. A man there told megroups leave New York on the iron horse every week to join

up with wagon trains headin or Kansas towns. I wrote hisname in the back o the book, see? She indicated the backcover, where her pencil smudgings spelled the name CharlesDriscoll . He can tell Joss everything that needs knowinabout joinin one o the wagon trains thatd take you toDrayton Valley.

Itll cost so dear, Mary whispered.

Tarsie swallowed. Shed done little else but think o howto help Mary since shed ound the book. She prayed her

riend would be able to set aside her erce pride and acceptTarsies help. Slipping to her knees beside the bed, she cradledthe booklet beneath her chin and o ered her most imploringlook. Ive been savin up the money rom my sewing. I wantyou to take it, to use it to help pay or

Marys eyes ew wide. No!Tarsie ignored the erce objection. whatever your am-

ily needs to get established in a better place. Im all alone. Ihave no need or moren what I already have.

Images o the lthy street, the leering men, the hopelessnessthat permeated the tenements ooded Tarsies mind, but shepushed them resolutely aside. Mary had o ered riendship

when no one else extended so much as a kind glance in herdirection. As much as Tarsie longed or escape, Mary needed escape. The city would kill Mary one day.

Tarsie gulped down her own desire to ee this vile place


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and gazed ervently into her riends tear- lled eyes. Dontrob me o the blessin o helping one whos so dear to me.

Behind her, the patter o little eet signaled that Emmy andNathaniel had tired o being le t alone. They charged intothe room and ung themselves onto the oot o the bed, gig-gling and wrestling like a pair o puppies. Tarsie icked asmile in their direction be ore looking at Mary again. Letme help send you an these precious wee ones to a place wherehappiness dwells.

Marys warm gaze embraced her children. The stubbornlines around her mouth so tened, and she released a deepsigh. Oh, Tarsie, how would I have managed this past yearwithout you? She stretched out one hand and cupped Tar-sies jaw. My angel . . . thats what youve been. Her hand

ell away. I eel a tug toward Drayton Valley, I wont denyit. But I cant take your hard-earned money.

ButMary shook her head, her orehead pinching. Theres no

use hoping, Tarsie. Joss . . . She sighed. Hell never leaveNew York City.

Tarsie pushed to her eet and strode stify rom the room,leaving Mary and the children alone. She crossed to the win-dow and stood be ore the rain-speckled glass, peering into

the narrow alleyway between the buildings. A sad view. Anempty view. So di erent rom the green elds and wide, sun-shiny sky o her native Ireland. So many years had passed,she barely remembered the place o her birth or the oneswho had birthed her. Shed planned to save enough moneyto get her and Great-Aunt Vangie back to Ireland one day,but or what purpose?

Ma and Da had passed when Tarsie was but a small child.Aunt Vangie now lay in a paupers grave. No whitewashedcottage with thatched roo awaited her return no matter howmany times Tarsie tried to imagine it. Her li e was here now.


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She was young and strong and could make the most o it.But Mary needed more.

Giggles carried rom the sleeping room, ollowed by Marysso t reprimand. She sounded tired. Would she last throughanother damp New York spring? Tarsies heart caught.

The apartment door banged open, and Marys husbandstepped into the room. Tall and raw-boned, Joss Brubacher

lled the doorway. Whipping o his hat, he sent water drop-lets across the clean oor. In two wide strides, he reachedthe stove and peered into the pot. Then he sent a scowl inTarsies direction. No lunch ready? Wheres Mary? Hestarted toward the sleeping room, but Tarsie darted acrossthe oor and blocked his progress.

Although he rowned at her, silently demanding she moveaside, she held her ground. Looking into his sunburnt, ir-ritated ace, she said, Sit down, Joss. I have need o talkinto you.


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Joss balled his hands into sts and planted them on his hips. Just what did this little Irish snip think she was doing, de-livering orders? He ollowed demands at the dockhe hadto i he wanted to keep his jobbut this was his home. Here,he was in command.

Lemme by.Marys riend li ted her chin. Ill not be budgin.You can move or Ill move you. An idle threat. In his

thirty years o li e, Joss had never raised his hand to a woman,and he wouldnt now. But she didnt know that.

Not til youve listened to me.Men quaked beneath Josss scowl. The girls re usal to

kowtow earned a grudging admiration, but he didnt havetime to argue with her. Thirty minutesthats all he got ora midday break. I Mary didnt etch his dinner soon, hedhave to return to the docks hungry. And Joss had vowed along time ago hed never ace hunger again.

He tried to step around her, but quick as a cat she blockedhis passage. He tried the other way. With a nimble leap, shewaylaid him again. He released a grunt. Had he ever met amore stubborn emale? Girl, I

My name is Tarsie, as you well know, Joss Brubacher.Ill be thanking you to make use o it. Now . . . i I x you


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some sandwiches, will you hush your bluster and hear whatI have to say?

His stomach rumbled. I it meant getting ed, he could lis-ten. He stomped to the trestle table in the corner and ploppedonto a bench. Hurry, then. I dont have time to yammer.

Tarsie gathered items rom the little cupboard in the cor-ner and set her hands to work slathering butter on halvedbiscuits. She layered the biscuits with cheese and slices o meat le tover rom last nights bee tongue, then carried a

tin plate stacked with the biscuit sandwiches to the table.Plunking the plate be ore him, she sat on the opposite benchand olded her hands.

Joss reached or a biscuit, but Tarsie began to pray, reez-ing his hand mid-reach.

Our lovin Father in heaven, we thank Thee or giving usour daily bread. Bless this ood that it might bring nourish-

ment. Please grant listening ears and a sensible spiritshepeeked at him through one squinted eye. He snapped his eyesclosedso we might do whats most pleasin to You. Amen.

He opened his eyes and quirked a brow at her. Was shenished?

She pointed to the plate. Eat now.He needed no urther prompting.

Your Mary is sick again.The dry biscuit tried to stick in Josss gullet. His Mary

was always sick. Hadnt he worried having children wouldbring ruination? Day a ter day, his own ather had told himkids were the scourge o a mans li e, but Mary had insistedon birthing ve o them. Three hadnt lived past the sucklingage, and the two whod managed to survive drained her

o energy. His chest constricted. I only shed listened tohim . . .

He jammed another biscuit in his mouth and spoke aroundthe lump. So doctor her.


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Ive given her my herbal medicine, just as Ive been doingthese past months. But shes in need o more.

De ensiveness raised the ne hairs on the back o Josssneck. He did his best by Mary. You think I can a ord a realsawbones on my measly wage? Its all I can do to pay or ourapartment, ood, and shoes or those kids. He yanked upanother biscuit and took a mighty chomp.

Tarsies ne eyebrows pulled into a rown. Didnt I askyou to listen? Hush now.

With his mouth ull, Joss couldnt snarl. But he could scowl.So he did. Fiercely.But Tarsie didnt cringe. To his consternation, she didnt

even blink. I wasnt speakin o calling in a doctor. WhenI say shes needing more, Im meaning she needs clean air,a bed ree o vermin, a home away rom the crowded city.Youve already buried three wee ones, Joss Brubacher, an i

you dont get your Mary to a better place, youll be buryingher, as well. Is that what you want?

The biscuit turned to sawdust in Josss mouth. Althoughtwo more sandwiches remained on the plate, he pushed itaside. In a li etime o disappointment and mis ortune, Josshad ound only one good: Mary. The thought o putting herin the ground sickened him. How dare this girlthis sel -

possessed strangertry to righten him? He jolted to hiseet, the bench legs screeching against the planked oor, and

pointed his nger at her ace. Im done listening.She leaped up as well. ButNo more! He thundered the words, and nally the girl

ceased her blather. With rm stomps against the oorboards,he charged into the sleeping room. He swept his arm, silently

commanding the youngsters to leave the room. They skit-tered out the door. Dropping to one knee beside the bed, hetook his wi es hand. As always, the di erence between hiswide, thick palm and her ragile, slender ngers gave him


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pause. Such a delicate, lovely woman, his Mary. He didntdeserve her.

He looked into her pale ace, and Tarsies statement swirledthrough his mind. Youll be burying her, as well. Angerrose in his chest, pushing the ear away. Sick again? Worrytangled his tonsils into a knot, and the words came out harsh.An imitation o his athers voice.

She nodded, her little hand quivering within his grasp.Im sorry, Joss.

That Irish riend o yours demands I take you out o thecity. Releasing a derisive grunt, he shook his head. Wheredoes she think wed go?

Marys ree hand slipped rom beneath the rumpled bed-covers. She held out a small book, its cover stained and torn.She pushed the book open with her thumb, revealing onedog-eared page. To a place called Drayton Valley. In Kansas.

Her expression turned dreamy. Joss stared at the page where tiny lines and squiggles

marched in straight rows. His inability to make sense o themarks reminded him o his insigni cance. Another wave o anger rolled through his gut. He snatched the book romMarys hand. Why does she plant ideas in your head?

He started to ing the book across the room, but Marys

ngers curled around his wrist. Joss, please A coughingspell cut her words short. Joss gritted his teeth, watchinghelplessly as she struggled to bring the cough to an end.Finally she opped back on the pillow, spent. Tears swam inher eyes as she begged, Please think about it. The town hasactive docks where you could work. But wed be away romthe . . . Her voice dropped to a rasping whisper. Saloons.

Her ngers tightened on his wrist, her strength surprisinghim. You arent your pa, Joss. You dont need the drink.Or the gambling. But as long as we stay here, it will alwayspull at you.


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O course it would. What else did he know? He had noother securities. Except Mary.

She went on, her voice dropping so low he had to strain tohear her. Promise me youll think about it. Please?Pas voice echoed rom the past. Never make a promise,

boy. Who keeps em? Nobody. Promises disappoint. Jossmade promises, but only to people who didnt matter to him.He pulled his arm ree o her grip and set his jaw.

The hope ul light in her eyes dimmed, and Joss looked away

to avoid witnessing a ood o tears. His gaze landed on theelaborately carved clock on the dresser. He hissed throughhis teeth. Late! Ignoring Marys so t snifes, his childrenswist ul arewells, and the Irish girls disapproving rown, hecharged out o the apartment, down the stairs, and into thestreet. Not until he neared the dock did he realize he still heldthe Kansas book in his st.

With a mufed oath, he gave the book a toss. No sensekeeping something that would only encourage Mary to dreamabout what could never be.

The six oclock whistle signaled the end o the workingday. Joss plopped the ty-pound burlap bag o seed corn

rom his shoulder onto the stack and brushed his palms to-gether, dispelling dust. He ell in line with the other jostlingmen, listening but not adding to their ribald comments. Hehoped Tarsies cures had worked well enough to get Maryout o that bed. Worried him to see her laid so low. And heneeded a good meal.

Brubacher! His bosss voice blasted over the other noises.

Wait up. Joss shi ted out o the ow and turned to ace the man,

holding back an annoyed grunt.You still owe teen minutes.


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Joss rowned.Marsden raised one eyebrow. Thought I didnt see you

creep in late a ter the dinner break, huh? Well, i you wannadraw a ull days wage, you ha ta give a ull days work. Sohead back up there and nish unloading that corn.

Joss bristled, but he couldnt argue. Not with the bossman. But he let his bootheels show his aggravation, thumpingthem good and hard as he returned to the end o the pier andyanked up a bag by its tied corners. Thirteen years on this

jobthirteen years o showing up day a ter day, no matterthe weather, even headachy and sick rom too much drinkthe night be oreand they couldnt allow him one time o showing up late?

Marsden stood watching, boots widespread, a timepiecepinched between his ngers. Joss gritted his teeth and heldhis grumbles inside as he hauled the remaining bags o corn

rom their spot on the piers end to the waiting wagon. FinallyMarsden barked, Good enough. You can go.

Joss let the nal bag slide rom his ngers and drop besidethe wagon. Without even a glance in his bosss direction, heaimed his eet or home. But Marsdens hand bolted out andcaptured Josss shirtsleeve.

Got a message or you rom Lanker.

Josss mouth went dry, but he held his shoulders erect andset his ace in a disinterested sneer. That so?

Uh-huh. Said hell be here on payday, an he expects everypenny. No more delays.

With a little shake o his arm, Joss reed himsel romMarsdens grip. I only he could rid himsel o the gamblershold as easily. He orced a wry chuckle. I youre servin as

one o Lankers errand boys, you must owe him, too.Marsden blanched. You know as well as I do nobody

crosses Lankernot i they wanna see tomorrow. He glancedaround as i seeking listening ears. How much you in or?


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Joss clamped his teeth together. Too much. More than hecould possibly repay. What had compelled him to join that

game last month? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Enough.Marsden clicked his tongue on his teeth. I dont envyyou, Brubacher. Come next Friday, you best be ready to handover your wages. His gaze whisked rom Josss scu ed boottoes to his little wool cap. Even a ella as big as you wontbe standing when his gang is nished with you. Lanker getshis due one way or another.

Joss didnt need the reminder. Can I go now?Marsden waved his hand in dismissal. See you tomorrow.On time.

Spinning on his worn heel, Joss took his leave. Damp airscented with sh and salt chilled him, and he jammed hishands into his jacket pockets. His ngertips encountered a ewcoins. As i o their own accord, his eet slowed. An idea lled

the back o his mind. One lucky roll. Thats all he needed toturn those cents into dollars. I he had to hand Lanker hisentire pay envelope on Friday, hed need something to carryhis amily through the next weeks. Even though his stomachrumbled, he changed direction and entered the closest saloon.One he rarely requented. Sa er to go where he wasnt known,just in case some o Lankers men loitered about. Theyd rid

him o his meager coins i they caught sight o him.An hour later, raucous laughter chased Joss rom the sa-

loon. One o the revelers staggered to the doorway a ter him,his oul breath wa ting to Josss nostrils. You need to nd adi ernt game i you cant toss dice any bettern that.

Joss whirled, his sts clenched. Leave me be.The mans eyes widened in mock innocence. Just givin

you some advice, riend. He o ered a taunting grin. Yousure could use it.

Joss raised his sts. Im not your riend, and I dont wantyour advice.


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The drunken man took a stumbling step in reverse, hold-ing up both palms. Awright, awright. He raised his bony

shoulders in a shrug. Dont gotta get sore, ella. Shee, somepeople cant take help when its bein o ered. He turned aclumsy hal circle and reentered the saloon, muttering.

Shoulders hunched and sts tucked in his empty pockets, Joss scu ed his way along the docks. He was in no hurry toget home. Mary would take one look at him and know wherehed been. The hurt in her eyes always stung more than hispas belt ever had. His stomach churned. Partly rom hunger,partly rom worry. So ar hed managed to hold Lanker at bayby handing over a portion o his pay and promising more thenext week. But next Friday, his time was up. He owed Lanker.He owed the tenement owner. And Mary would need moneyto buy ood. Could he sell something? The only thing le t o value was the mantel clock Marys grand ather had broughtover rom England. Mary wouldnt part with itand even i she did, no pawnshop owner would give him what he neededto pay his debt to Lanker.

Maryd done her best over the years to convince Joss thatGod would meet their needs. But no Godnot even i Hewas as loving and giving as his wi e proclaimedwould helpa man whod done as many wrongs as Joss Brubacher.

With a strangled moan, Joss kicked at a clump o paperslying along the lthy boardwalk. He expected them to sepa-rate and scatter in the wind, but instead the entire clumprolled over twice and then settled with a stained, worn, browncover acing up. Joss sucked in a breathMarys book aboutKansas.

He bent over and yanked it up. His cold ngers trembledas he clung to the book. Maybe there was an answer to hisproblem.


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3

The pain that never le t Marys side stabbed as she bentover the childrens sleeping mats and tucked a so t quiltbeneath their chins. Strength, Father , her heart begged as she

orced a smile to her lips. Sleep well now.Emmy and Nathaniel murmured a sleepy response, and

their eyes slipped closed, thick lashes casting shadows ontheir rounded cheeks. Marys heart swelled as a lump lledher throat. Such beauti ul children. Such blessings.

Mary struggled upright. The pain intensi ed with themovement. She ground her teeth together to hold back amoan. Each day the burden o pain, which had begun inher right breast more than a year ago and trailed beneathher arm and into her ribs over the ensuing months, becameharder to bear. Having watched her own mother travel thispathwayalthough the pain had ound Mary years earlierthan it had gripped Mamashe knew what awaited.

Strength, Father .Clutching her threadbare robe around her shoulders, she

scu ed to the main room o the apartment and sank downat the trestle table. She rested her elbows on the scrubbed,scarred sur ace and let her ace drop into her hands. Howmuch time did she have? Weeks? Months, maybe? She hadntyet told Tarsie about the pain that held her captive. Her riend


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would try her best to cure her, but Mary knew ar too wellthere was no cure or this illness. It would take her soon

enough. No need to leave Tarsie eeling guilty or somethingover which she had no control.Tarsie had called Kansas the place where happiness dwelled.

Marys gaze dri ted to the doorway o the sleeping room. Sheenvisioned Emmy and Nathaniel, snuggled together on theirmat, blond, curly heads tipped close. The children deserveda place o joy. Somehow, she had to get them out o this

tenement be ore her time to leave the earth came. Her headlow, she began to pray, asking God to protect her children,to move in her husbands heart, to make it possible or theones she loved more than li e itsel to nd joy together whenshe could no longer be with them.

Lost in her prayer, she gave a start when someone viciouslywrenched the doorknob. Then a voice called, Mary? Un-

lock the door. Joss. Releasing an involuntary groan, shepushed hersel o the bench and shufed to open the door.She searched Josss ace as he entered the apartment, seekingsigns that hed been imbibing liquor. Seeing none, she nearlysagged in relie .

You missed your supper. Sit down. Ill get you a plate. Josss heels dragged on the oor as he crossed to the table

and eased himsel onto the waiting bench. She sensed his eyesollowing her as she scooped beans seasoned with pork at

onto a speckled plate. One biscuit rom yesterdays bakingremained in the tin, so she tucked it next to the beans. Sucha sad o ering or a man whod spent his day laboring.

She planted a kiss on his temple, inhaling his unique aromao sweat, sea, and musky skin as she placed the plate in ront

o him. He picked up the ork, but then sat with it in his st,staring at the beans.

Arent you hungry? She ran her ngers through his thickhair. Shed always loved Josss hairthick and dark and laden


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with natural waves that rolled away rom his orehead likethe ocean rolled toward shore. But also so t. Surprisingly so,

considering how gru he could be. But she understood hiscrustiness was a maska barrier he used to protect himsel .Although at times she longed or tenderness, she loved himanyway, because she knew he loved her the best way he knewhow. What would he do when she was gone? Her ngers coiledaround the silken strands and clung.

He dropped the ork and reached up to grasp one o her

exploring hands. With a tug, he drew her onto the benchbeside him. Mary, tell me . . . about Kansas. He slappedthe little book onto the table.

Although his tone sounded more weary than eager, herheart leaped with hope. She sought the section Tarsie hadpointed out about Drayton Valley and read slowly, emphasiz-ing the points she thought Joss would nd the most interest-

ing. While she read, she couldnt help imagining her childrenrunning along a grassy riverbank or ambling toward a littleschoolhouse, slates tucked in the bends o their arms. Shepictured Joss coming home at the end o the day, tired butsmiling, satis ed with the toil o his hands, his eyes clear andhis ace tanned rom the sun. But she didnt put hersel inthe anci ul imaginings.

She nished reading every detail, then told Joss about theman at the railroad who could help them purchase tickets.Placing her hand over his, she sighed. Doesnt it sound likea ne place, Joss? A place or a amily to prosper. Slippingher eyes closed, she allowed one more picture to orm in hermindo Joss leading the children up the steps o a clapboardchapel. Tears stung behind her closed lids. It could happen,

Lord, couldnt it?Its ar away rom here, this Kansas? Josss low, serious

tone drew Marys ocus.Yes, Joss. Far away.


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His jaw jutted. This, then, is what you want?Mary held her breath, a raid she might still be caught in

her wist ul dreaming. Her vocal cords seemed tangled inknots, unable to deliver words, so she gave a nod. Josss head sagged. But money or tickets . . . I dont have

it.As much as Mary wished she could re use Tarsies o er

to give over her saved earnings, she wouldnt be taking itor hersel . This was or her children. For Joss. For a better,

richer, more joy ul li e. She could swallow her pride or thesake o her loved ones. She only prayed Josss pride, whichwas much larger than hers, could be overcome.

In a mere whisper, she said, I do.His head shot up, one wavy strand o dark hair opping

across his orehead. You have money?The glimmer in his eyes rightened her. Desperation tinged

with ury. But she couldnt retreat now. Y-yes.How much?Tarsie hadnt mentioned an amount, but she had indi-

cated shed spoken to the railroad man and knew her undswere adequate or the journey. Mary chose a simple reply.Enough.

Fetch it or me.

I . . . cant. It isnt here.Where is it?Mary swallowed. Tarsie has it. Should she tell him it

was Tarsies money, not hers? But Tarsie was willing to giveit to her, which made it hers, didnt it? Her pain-muddledbrain tried to reason, but rational thought wouldnt orm.

Joss chewed his lower lip, his gaze aimed somewhere be-

hind Marys shoulder. Shed learned over their years togetherthat it was best to let Joss ruminate. I she pushed him, hisde enses would rise. While he thought, she prayed, and a terseveral silent minutes he blew out a mighty breath.


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Face still averted, he said, Pack, then. Well go.With a joyous cry, Mary threw hersel into Josss arms.

The sudden movement brought a new, excruciating crush o pain. She mu ed her gasp with his shoulder. Hed change hismind i he knew how sick she was. And she couldnt let himturn back now. Struggling against waves o nausea, she orcedhersel to speak. I can be ready by Monday i need be.

Monday, then. Josss arms held her tight, the pressure pain ul but still

welcome. He so rarely cradled her, seemingly a raid o gentle-ness being misconstrued as weakness. She relished the eel o his rm, sturdy arms encircling her rame, and although thepain continued to stab with a erocity that brought tears toher eyes, she re used to wriggle loose o his snug embrace.Mary sighed in contentment as Joss ran his big, warm handsup and down her spine.

With a nal pat on her back, he disengaged himsel romher hold. He picked up his ork, scooped a bite, and swal-lowed. Ill go to Tarsies a ter I nish work tomorrow andget the money so I can purchase tickets.

Thats a ne idea. Mary drew in a slow breath, gath-ering courage. Her next request would surely be met withresistance, but somehow she had to convince him. And . . .would you tell her to pack, too?

The ork clattered to the tabletop as Joss spun to ace her.Why?

Tarsie had no amily, nothing to hold her here. And Tarsieloved Mary. Tarsie would do anything to honor her riend Mary knew this rom the depth o her soul. Did Joss loveMary enough to honor her desire? She tested his love witha simple statement. Tarsie must come with us. I wont gowithout her. I . . . I need her, Joss.

And you and the children will need her soon, too.


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Tarsie snipped the thread with her teeth and let the heavyvelvet skirt op across her lap. Shed nished with hours to

spare be ore the Saturday-morning deadline. She sent up asilent prayer o gratitude then balled her hands into sts andstretched, releasing the tense muscles in her shoulders.

In a chair across the table, one o her roommates, Agnes,li ted her gaze rom the camisole in her hands and sent Tar-sie a narrow-eyed scowl. All done? I wish I could sew asquickly as you. Mr. Garvey always berates me or being be-

hind quota.Their boss was a stern taskmaster, and o ten Tarsies heartlurched in sympathy or workers orced to endure the sharpside o his tongue. But sometimes, Tarsie had to admit, Agnesdeserved it. O the six young women who shared the littleapartment and worked as seamstresses or August Garvey,Agnes was the only one to all below expectations. Mostly

because she piddled rather than used her time wisely, claimingthe work boring. But Tarsies Bible admonished her to workas unto the Lord rather than men. Her conscience wouldntallow her to shirk, no matter how uninteresting the task.

Tarsie rose and shook out the skirt, admiring the glint o deep purple in the lantern light. Speed comes with practice,Agnes. Youll be catchin on soon enough, Im sure.

Agnes sni ed and leaned back over the camisole.Tarsie olded the skirt and laid it care ully on her chair.

Massaging her lower back, she moved to the stove. A peekin the tall enamel pot revealed at least a cup ul o brackishliquid. She poured it into a tin mug and raised it to her lips,grimacing as the bitter brew hit her tongue. The co ee hadsat on the back o the stove all day, gaining strength, and the

taste turned her stomach, but she drank it anyway. Her emptystomach needed lling. A ter draining the mug, she carriedit and the pot to the dry sink where more dirty mugs, plates,and silverware waited in a basin.


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When Mr. Garvey had assigned the girls to this apartmentin his building, hed instructed them to take turns with house-

keeping, each pulling an equal share. But shed discovered theother girls could ignore piles o dirty dishes, crumb-scatteredoors, and dust-covered urniture. So requently, Tarsiethe

eldest o the girls at twenty- ourper ormed the others tasksrather than live in a messy apartment. She couldnt preventrodents and vermin rom creeping in under the door or romholes in the walls, but she could at least make it harder or

them to hide by keeping things tidy.She picked up the water bucket and headed or the door, in-tending to venture to the pump in the alley. When she openedthe door she discovered a large man, st upraised, on theopposite side o the threshold. She let out a squawk o sur-prise and nearly threw the bucket at him. But then lanternlight rom the apartment reached his ace, and she blew out

a breath o relie .Joss Brubacher, you came close to scaring the li e out o

me. Whyve you come? A second bout o earthis onemuch more intensegripped her. She grabbed his shirt rontand dragged him through the doorway, her heart pounding.

The other girls paused in their stitching, curious gazesaimed at Tarsie and their unexpected visitor. Joss swept rom

his head the little plaid hat he always wore and icked a glanceat the circle o seamstresses. Apparently intimidated by hisunsmiling countenance, they bent back over their work. Buttheir usual chatter ceased, and Tarsie sensed their ears tunedto her conversation with Joss.

Is it Mary? Should I etch my medicinal herbs? Thankgoodness shed nished that skirt early. Shed be ree to go

with Joss i need be. She turned toward the sleeping room,ready to retrieve the leather pouch o cures.

Joss held out his hand, sealing her in place. Marys ne.Least, as ne as she ever is. His brow crunchedin worry or


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consternation? Mary claimed Joss cared beneath his bluster,but Tarsie wasnt so sure. He was a difcult man to read. But

were leaving come Monday. For Kansas.Tarsie clasped her hands beneath her chin and gasped.Oh, praise be!

So were needing the money . . . or tickets and such. Joy exploded through Tarsies middle. A miracle! She was

witnessing a miracle! She waved both hands at Joss, encour-aging him to wait. Ill be gettin it or you. Stay right here.

She dashed to the sleeping room, aware o six pairs o eyesstaring a ter her. Dropping to her knees beside her cot, sheli ted the lumpy mattress and pulled out a woolen stockingcontaining the care ully hoarded bounty o nearly eight yearslabor. Bouncing to her eet, she darted to Joss and jammed thesock at him. There you are. Thank you or agreein. Shednever have imagined Joss Brubacher accepting her help. Hiswillingness to do soto set aside his erce prideso tenedher toward him. He did care or Mary. He did .

He gave her a puzzled look, but he took the stocking andshoved the wad into his jacket pocket. She expected him totake his leave, but instead he twiddled the hat in his handand stared o to the side. From the circle o girls, a nervoustitter sounded. It seemed to bring Joss to li e. He jerked his

ace around to scowl down at Tarsie.As I said, were leaving come Monday. Im hoping to get

us tickets on the eight oclock train to Chicago. So be packedand at the station early. Only take what you cant do with-out. One trunkthats it. Wont be space or rippery. Hesnorted. Wont hardly be space or the people I need to take,but Mary says she wont go without you. So . . . He slappedthe hat onto his head. Be there. He turned and stompedo , disappearing into the shadows o the hallway.


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Joss li ted Emmy onto the step leading to the passengercar, then reached or Nathaniel. He gazed up and downthe Grand Central Depots boarding plat orm, searchingthe crowd or any o Lankers henchmen. I the gambler gotwind that Joss had collected his pay a week early, hed be onthe prowl. What with Mary giving away all but their mostimportant belongings to anyone in need, word was out thatthey were leaving. It was only a matter o time be ore Lankercame to demand his money.

Granted, the pay envelope held precious little comparedto what Mary had squirreled away. How had she managedto accumulate such a sum? The things he couldve done withthat money i hed known about it! But now, i Lankers mencaught him, theyd take every penny, whether he owed it toLanker or not. Nobody bested that ormer riverboat rat.

Someone in the jostling crowd bumped him, and Joss jerkedaround, his heart in his throat. But to his relie , it was only ahunchbacked old man, who waved a gnarled hand in silentapology. Josss shoulders sagged. He was ar too jumpy. Theyneeded to get out o hereand quick.

Mary touched his arm. Have you spotted Tarsie?Not yet. To be honest, he hadnt been looking or Marys

riend. Dont worry. Shell be here. Hed seen where she

a home in drayton valley

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