75 issue 7
TRANSCRIPT
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WinterFest!Volume 75 - Issue 7 - February 9, 2004
Winterfest
is soon to be
upon us here
a t MSU -B ,
Feb. 9-14 and
we at the Re-to r t w ou ld
ha te t o se e
you unp re -
pa re d to pa r-
ticipate in the
school spirit-
f i l led whir l -
wind of ac t iv i t ies tha t wi l l take
place. This yea r, R HA wi ll throw i ts
hat into the ring by providing half-
time games and amusements at the
basket bal l ga mes on Tuesday, Friday,
and Saturday evenings.
On Tuesday, there will be a pair
of classic throwback games: tug of
war and gunnysack races. On Fri-
day, there will be a special couplesgame in honor of Valentines Day.
There will also be a free throw shoot-
off during Saturdays game.
RHA Advisor Paula Lundstrom
says that RHA is putting on these
games and activities to get students
invo lve d a nd to ge ne ra t e some
school spirit. Lundstrom also says
that RHA is trying to get more stu-
dents to go to the games, so it is pro-
moting a student seating section at
the games starting on Tuesday of
Winterfest week.
So show your school pride and
come out to cheer on your
Yellowjackets at all of the games,while having a great time with RHA
at halftime.
RHA
Primed andReady for
Winterfest
Week
ByByByByByAdam WickensAdam WickensAdam WickensAdam WickensAdam Wickens
One of
the best people
to ask about
Winterfest is
Libby Netzer,
the student ac-
tivities board
chair. Its the
c o l l e g e s
homecoming
and is designed
to encourage
school spiritand support of
our athletes, says Netzer.
What is
Winterfest...Anyway?
ByByByByBy
Betsy HarrisBetsy HarrisBetsy HarrisBetsy HarrisBetsy Harris
Winterfest is a week of winter fes-
tivities that starts Feb. 9 and continues
through Feb. 14. Monday is karaoke
night in the atrium. Tuesday is a mens
basketball game at 7 p.m. and then the
movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
in Petro Theater at 9 p.m. Wednesday is
the Snow Bowl Trivia competition and
ASMSU-B Presidential and Vice-Presi-
dential Elections. According to Netzer,
Snow Bowl Trivia is like Jeopardy mi-
nus Alex Trebek plus a college professor
in his place. Thursday there is a mens
basketball game with Winterfest royalty
being announced at the half time. Fri-
day is womens basketball at 7 p.m. and
then the Winterfest semi-formal dance
after the game at 9 p.m. The dance will
be held at the Elks Lodge on Lewis Av-
enue and the band Two Lane Roadfrom
Boulder, Colo. will be playing.This is the first year in a long time
the student activities board decided to
book a band instead of a DJ and to have
the dance off campus. In previous years,
the dance was held at the College of Tech-
nology. They are hoping the live band will
attract more students.
The king and queen will be crowned
at the dance and given prizes as well as
their crown and tiara. The dance is semi-
formal, so nice dresses for the ladies and
slacks for the men are appropriate attire.
If the men want to wear tuxedos, thats OK,
but according to Netzer, its never been
done before. Dates are not required for the
dance, but there will be a place for photo
opportunities with friends or dates.
If all of this seems like a lot of ac-
tivities for one week and youre worried
about the money, dont. ALL ACTIVI-
TIES ARE FREE! All you need is your
student card. The money comes from stu-
dent fees, so do yourself a favor, get themost out of your money and check out
Winterfest!
Tired of spending $1.99 for a
piece of greasy cheese covered concoc-tion? The pizza is on us this week in the
Student Union Building first floor
atrium. To kick off the Winterfest cel-
ebration, The Retort is sponsoring an
event called Pizza & Publicity on
Wed. Feb. 11th from 12:00-12:30 p.m.
in the SUB. Wondering what the catch
is? All you owe is a small favor to your
friendly student paper. To make it easier,
there is a short four step process:
Step one: Show up at 12:00 sharp in
the SUB Atrium.
Step two: Fill out a quick, nameless,
painles survey.
Step three: Turn in your survey and
in return, get a slice of pizza and asoda pop.
Step four: Enter your name and
phone number in a drawing for a $30
dollar gift certif icate to Texas Road-
house Bar & Grill on King Ave.
So, there is free pizza and pop,
and a chance to win more free food.
Sound good? We will be waiting for
you with an anchovy-free piece of
Pizza Hut pizza. See you in the SUB
on Wednesday at noon.
Are You Hung ry?
Counting Carbs:
The Atkins Diet
Page 7
Old School
The Game
of
M.A.S.H
Page 15
Sell Yourself!
How to Market Yourself
in Work and in Life!
Pg. 6
Graphic by Richard Castillo
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7/28/2019 75 Issue 7
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Janna Huhtala
Amy Whittle
Richard Castillo
Jed Barton
Betsy Harris
Jennifer Fenton
Jason Lillie
Adam Wickens
VACANT
Dan Hansen
Jessalyn Remington
Evelyn IrmenAric Weber
Linsey Lindgren
Becky Butcher
Brett Harrison
Alea Logan
Michael Redstone
VACANT
VACANT
Jeremy Seidl itz
Jesse Kester
Nancy Swanson
1500 University Drive SUB 225
Billings, MT 59101
Business & Newsroom: 657-2194
Fax: 657-2191
e-mail: [email protected]
Editor-in-Chief
Business/Ad Manager
Layout/Design Editor
Sports Editor
News Editor
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ReporterColumnist
Columnist
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D.C. Correspondent
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Advisor
Guidelines & Policies
The Retort encourages the submission of
letters to the Editor. Letters must be under
250 words in length and include name, signa-
ture, and phone number. The Retort reserves
the right to edit for space and possible libel.
Letters should deal with subject matter rel-
evant to the students, faculty, and staff of
MSU-Billings. The Retort is published every
other Tuesday. Letters must be submitted bythe Friday after the most recent issue date.
The Publications Board of ASMSU-B advises
The Retort, leaving content decisions to the
editors. Opinions expressed in The Retort
are not necessarily those of its members, the
university, students, student government,
state government, or federal government.
Editors and Staff
Rant & Rave: Editors Opinion
Someone once told me that it takes 43
muscles to frown and only 17 muscles
to smile. The reason I know this is
because some know-it-all told me so.
This happened because I was in one ofmy grouchy moods and she was trying
to cheer me up. Thanks for trying
sweetheart, but what people need to
understand is that it generally feels good
to be ticked off at certain points in our
lives. It relieves stress, anger, and keeps
the two from being bottled up inside
be fo re bu rs ti ng ou t in one huge
explosion. So instead of getting angry
at the helpful know-it-all, I responded
by saying that I was going for a more
stimulating facial workout. That alone is
enough said.
Through this anger management
technique that I have discovered, I
came to find some serious research
through my random web search. Istumbled upon www.straightdope.comand the study done by David H. Song
M.D., who is a recognized plastic
surgeon and assistant professor at the
University of Chicago Hospitals. Dr.
Song acknowledged that deciding
which of the 53 facial muscles are
important in smiling or frowning is a bit
arbitrarymany make only minor
contributions, and depending on the
intensity of the expression may not be
involved at all. However, he
investigated the smile/frown study
thoroughly and according to Dr. Song
(see www.straightdope.com), the muscles
involved in a zygomatic (i.e., genuine)smile are:
Zygomaticus major and
minor. These muscles pull up
the corners of the mouth.
Theyre bilateral (one set on
either side of the face). Total
number of muscles: 4.
Orbicularis oculi. One of
these muscles encircles each
eye and causes crinkling.
Total: 2.
Levator labii superioris. These
muscles pull up corners of the
lip and nose. Bilateral. Total: 2.
Levator anguli oris. These
also help elevate angle of
mouth. Bilateral. Total: 2. Risorius. The muscle that
pulls the corner of your mouth
to one side. Bilateral. Total: 2.
Grand total of muscles used for
smiling: 12.
The principal muscles involved in a
frown are:
Orbicularis oculi (see smile
above). Total: 2.
Platysma. Muscles that pull
down at your lips and they
also wrinkles the skin of your
lower face. Bilateral (though
joined at midline). Total: 2.
Corrugator supercili i
(bilateral) and procerus
(unilateral). Helps you tofurrow your eye brows. Total:
3.
Orbicularis oris. Muscles that
encircle your mouth; it also
helps to purse your lips.
Unilateral. Total: 1.
Mentalis. Cause the
depression of the lower lip.
Unilateral. Total: 1.
Depressor anguli oris. Pulls
down at the corner of your
mouth. Bilateral. Total: 2.
Grand total of muscles used for
frowning are: 11.
So there it is folks; its plain and
simple. We have been lied to for all of
these years. Frowning actually takes the
lesser amount of muscles, and now I can
stop giving my lame excuse for being
pissed off and just get right down to my
huge pity party filled with the
disheartened and the down-trodden.
What people need to understand is that
it is a rare moment in a day when I am
actually pissed off. I try hard to keep an
uplifting attitude, despite the outside
contributors to my hectic day.
Sometimes, to quote country singer Terri
Clark, I just wanna be mad for awhile.
Now tell me the truthin your life, dont
you just ant to be mad too?
My pity party has a capacity of one, no
one else is invited. Thats right, I dont wantsympathy. I also dont want to hear that
someone elses day was ten times worse
than mine, or how much they envy my day.
I dont want anyone to try and cheer me
up, and I dont want to hear that tomorrow
is another day. [Copyright, Gone with the
Wind]. All I want is to be left alone. Ill
say that and Ill even throw in a smile, if
the world would just get off my back. I
just want to sit in my room and curl up
with my favorite sappy book and my cup
of self pity. I want to have peace and quiet
for just an hour of my day and I am sorry,
but I dont want to talk to anyone. I want
to write in my journal, the details of my
crappy day and then hash them out for a
couple of weeks. I know this isnt
conducive to my social life, but it is just
how I have to work things out. So, deal.
As a last snap to the smile instead of
frown urban legend, according to
straightdope.com, Dr. Song believes that
[smiling] does take less effort than
frowningpeople tend to smile more
frequently, so the affected muscles are in
better shape. However, a superficial,
homecoming-queen smile requires little
more than the two risorius muscles. So, in
theory, the minimal facial calisthenics
would include a healthy dose of insincerity.
I choose to be angry and despondant, so
please just leave me to it.
Rant & Rave: I Just Want to Be Mad For Awhile
ByByByByByJanna HuhtalaJanna HuhtalaJanna HuhtalaJanna HuhtalaJanna HuhtalaEditor-in-ChiefEditor-in-ChiefEditor-in-ChiefEditor-in-ChiefEditor-in-Chief
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MSU-B Appoints New University Relations DirectorPress Release
BILLINGS - Former Director of
Marketing and College Relations at
Rocky Mountain College, Shelley Van
Atta, has been appointed as the new
University Relations Director at Mon-
tana State University-Billings. Chan-cellor Ron Sexton announced the ap-
pointment on Tues., Jan . 13, fol lowing
Van Attas acceptance of the position.
Van Atta brings vast experience to
the university in areas of writing, pro-
duction, media relations, and commu-
nity building. She is an accomplished
professional who has received the Dis-
tinguished Service Award from RockyMountain College in 2002 and in 1993
won the Gold Award for the top col-
lege promotional video in the United
States. She has also been an Addy
Award winner for commercials written
and produced while at Rocky.
Over the years Van Atta has been
an active volunteer and leader in the
Billings community. She has given hertime to several projects including: the
Billings Symphony Orchestra and Cho-
rale, the Billings Depot Renovation
Project, United Way of Yellowstone
County, and many others. Van Atta will
staff in the University Relations office
full time on January 26.
For more information contact the
Office of University Relations at MSU-Billings at (406) 657-2266.
If re-
cently, after
r e t u r n i n g
from winter
bre ak, you
felt as if you
were sitting
in a nicecoffee shop,
you were,
in a way.
While
s t u d e n t s
were away
on winter break, the second floor of the
Liberal Arts/Library building under-
went a little transition including new
pa in t, ne w ch ai rs an d co uc he s, a
cushiony booth, and groovy tables.
These, as well as the televisions in-
stalled last semester, are part of the
renovations that are being done to the
building over a period of time. The in-
stallments are happening as the itemscome in.
To update students who are new
and to refresh those of you who have
been going here for awhile and just for-
got what was going on, the building has
A New
L.A. Look
By Jennifer FentonBy Jennifer FentonBy Jennifer FentonBy Jennifer FentonBy Jennifer FentonA&E EditorA&E EditorA&E EditorA&E EditorA&E Editor
undergone, and is continuing to un-
dergo, a series of changes that will bring
the building up to code as well as up to
date. Changes thus far include new el-
evators, a new wing of the art depart-
ment located on the first floor, a new
gallery, a remodeled coffee shop, and a
moved book store. Also, a few state of
the art stadium seating classrooms, an
updated library (as far as seating), tele-
visions, and now something comfortable
to sit in, new chairs.
Is there more to come or is the face
lift complete? Well, according to Eakle
Barfield in the facility services office, the
changes are near completion with carpet-
ing, area rugs, and computer stations left
to be installed. These will go into place
as soon as they are received.
So are the changes beneficial and
well worth the cost? Many students say
yes, and think that they are great; the
chairs are better a the hard wood
benches that are under the window. Oth-
ers thought that the money could have
been used elsewhere, such as for more
classrooms.
With a new look and a large in-
crease in comfort the L.A. building islooking better and better. Watch for the
final phase of the L.A. renovation which
is soon to come. If you have questions
or comments contact Jennifer Fenton, at
G i n n y
Jensen, who
has served
MSU-Billings
as the intern-
ship coordina-
tor for the of-
fice of career
se rvices for
the last 18
months, and as
a recruiter for
about two
years prior to
that, has decided to leave the univer-
sity. Jensen has taken a job with Cen-tury 21 real estate agency as an agent
and marketing specialist. It gives me
a chance to advance in my degree
field, she said
About her tenure at MSU-B,
Jensen said, Helping students to find
internships and then see them come
bac k and app ly the knowle dge the y
have acquired towards finding a job
is quite rewarding. I would encourage
any student to take the opportunity to
have an internship.
Ginny
Jensen:
Movin On
Up
By Jed BartonBy Jed BartonBy Jed BartonBy Jed BartonBy Jed BartonSports EditorSports EditorSports EditorSports EditorSports Editor
Photo by Becky Butcher. Ginny Jensen a phone call in her Co-op Internships/Career Services office. Jensen has decided to
take another job at Century 21 Real Estate. Her last day was January 29th.
Photo by Jason Lillie. Just one of the new looks in the L.A. Building this semester.
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7/28/2019 75 Issue 7
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Last Oct., Dr. William Self, a
math professor at MSU-B, was cross-
ing N. 27 Street when he was hit by a
truck. He was crossing the road near
the Juniper Inn and was heading for the
college when a GMC truck traveling
south lane hit him. The accident sent
Dr. Self, 58, to the hospital in critical
condition with head and other injuries.According to his wife, he has
been home from the hospital fo r ove r
Injured Prof. Rests at Homethree weeks now and is doing well in
recovery. He can now take walks with
the dog and is doing some cooking,
which he enjoys. Dr. Self has made
several pies recently, his favorite be-
ing apple. His recovery process does
include outpatient therapy sessionsthat help with such things like speech
and memory problems caused by the
accident.
Dr. Selfs contract with MSU-B
ends this May, but he may try to nego-
tiate the deal. However, his wife said,
it remains questionable if he will go
back to teaching.
The driver of the truck that hit Dr.
Self was never cited for the accident; be-
cause their attorneys are still investigat-
ing the case, Dr. Self and his wife could
not comment about the case beyond that.
Dr. Self and his wife would like
to express their appreciation to all the
faculty, staff and students from MSU-B, and to everyone else who has been
visiting and showing their concern.
By Brett HarrisonBy Brett HarrisonBy Brett HarrisonBy Brett HarrisonBy Brett HarrisonStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff Writer
T h e
search for a
candidate to
replace Dr.
Daniel Zirker
as dean of the
college of
Arts and Sci-
ences has be-
gun. A search
c o m m i t t e eco-chaired by
Dr. George
Help Wanted: Committee Begins Search for New DeanWhite, dean of the College of Education
and Human services, and Dr. Joe Michels,
dean of the College of Business and a
cross section of students and faculty from
the within the College of Arts and Sci-
ences, is currently reviewing applications
from a nationwide pool by Feb. 19 the
number of applicants will be reduced to
the point where the university will begin
to contact the applicants previous employ-
ers and references.By Mar. 4, the committee hopes
to have a list of three applicants to be
submitted to the provosts office so on
campus interviews can be conducted
in early April. The goal is to have the
new dean in place by July 1.
Though on the surface this seems
like a normal bureaucratic process, ac-
cording to White the early stages of the
search will be done a bit different from
prior searches. We are doing the ini-
tial application reading and evaluation
online. This makes the process dra-matically more environmental and
cost-friendly. White added The stan-
dard educational resume for a position
of this type requires a 40-50 page docu-
ment, and you have 15 people on the
committee and many applicants; the
printing can come to litera lly thousands
of pages. Instead, applicants will sub-
mit their resumes in the form of read
only documents posted online and
committee members will read them on
a password protected website and use
an evaluation process built into thesoftware. This way we save money
and trees, said White.
Sept. 11,
2001 is a day that
no one in our gen-
eration will ever
forget. Images of
that day will live
in our minds for-
ever. The mili-
tary action that
followed was
strongly sup-
ported by many
Americans. We
remembered our nations military and
cheered them every time we heard of an-
other mobilization . . . for a while. Today,
many Americans just skim over an article
in the paper or listen half-heartedly to the
news as it is announced that more soldiers
are being deployed. It has become a com-
mon occurrence to hear this type of story,
and yet it seems that some of Americans is
forgetting that there are troops overseas at
all.
There are those who are under the
impression that all of the troops are com-
ing home and that the conflicts in the
Middle East and elsewhere are over. This,of course, is not the case. There are some
troops coming home, but more units are
being mobilized all around the nation.
Iraq seems to be the main focus of
media and public attention lately. There
are troops being sent there, but they are
being sent elsewhere as well. They are
being deployed to countri es such as
Bosnia, Korea, Germany, and Afghanistan,
just to name a few. In fact we have sol-
diers in more than 100 other nations around
the world. Our military has been very ac-
tive throughout recent history and will con-
tinue to stay active for many years to
come. So why are there Americans for-
getting about our soldiers? Why do we see
flags on only one out of every 50 vehicles
now, instead of 45 out of 50? Have we
just forgotten?
Specialist Scott Steppe of the Mon-
tana Army National Guard 1-190th Bat-
talion hasnt. In fact, lately, it is always in
the back of these troops minds. The unit
has been on alert for mobilization since Oc-
tober of last year. This means that the gov-
ernment has informed them that they could
be mobilized at any minute and that they
need to be ready when the call comes in.
Their mission is to train as military police
and be prepared to be stationed around the
continental United States, Hawaii, and Eu-
rope in order to free up other M.Ps for
active duty elsewhere. The training for this
mission will take anywhere from two to
four months, and the troops could be on
active duty for up to two years.
Many of the soldiers in the 1-190th
Battalion were students at MSU-B last se-
mester when they got the alert order.Along with preparing their personal and
financial obligations, the soldiers had to
deal with preparing for a possible with-
drawal from school as well. Luckily they
all got the semester finished before they
were mobilized. Those who remain may
not be so lucky this semester, and many
did not re-register for courses, but Special-
ist Steppe was one of the few who did.
How do the student soldiers, like
Steppe, handle being ripped away from
their normal lives right in the middle of a
semester of school? Apparently, the sol-
diers and the school handle this very well.
MSU-B, like any other organization in the
United States, is required by law not to pe-
nalize inactive troops that are called up for
active duty. So the school has two differ-
ent provisions for student soldiers who
cant finish the semester: they are given
the option to either withdraw from classes
and take a full refund with no fees attached,
or they can take an incomplete and, just
like everyone else, are given a year to fin-
ish their credits. Many of the student sol-
diers said that MSU-B faculty and staff are
very understanding when it comes to
their military obligation. Vice Chancel-
lor Curt Kochner said we want whatever
works out best for the student . . . after all,
they are going to serve our country. [But]
maintaining the academic integrity of the
program is very important.
Gerry Riley, a National Guard sol-
dier and former MSU-B student, was de-
ployed while attending college, just a few
weeks before he was to graduate. He said
he had the blessing of understanding pro-
fessors and was actually able to have hisfinal exams sent to him in a sealed enve-
lope and take them while he was on active
duty. There are many other stories like this
around the MSU-B campus. Most of the
soldiers feel very lucky to be on a small
campus that has such a cooperative staff,
After all, they say, it was our choice to
go to school while serving in the military.
So, knowing that they are in good hands
academically, the student soldiers are able
to worry about other pressing matters in
their lives, like their families.
Steppes wife is also a student at
MSU-B, but is taking a semester off due
to the birth of the most recent addition to
their family. Steppe said the hardest thing
about leaving is being separated from his
family and trying to make them understand
why. They dont understand our job [or
how we feel about it] He said, referring
both to his family and other civilians. I
dont want to go, but I do, Steppe added.
Many of the soldiers seem to feel the
same way Steppe does. They have a sense
of duty and pride in the job they are being
sent to do, but they seem to be the only
ones who understand why they want to do
it. The rest of the nation is supportive, but
they dont understand the concept of be-
ing called up for active duty. Steppe said,
People dont understand how much re-
servists and National Guard troops give
up. They have lives and families outside
of the military. Unlike many active duty
soldiers whose families live right on base
with them, the inactive soldiers have to put
their current lives on hold when they get
activated. No one feels it more than the
soldiers, but their families probably take aclose second. To illustrate this a little
more, when asked what the hardest thing
about being on active duty is again, most
of the soldiers replied getting in shape.
They just arent used to being a soldier 24
hours a day, seven days a week. They are
normal people just like us.
By Alea LoganBy Alea LoganBy Alea LoganBy Alea LoganBy Alea LoganStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff Writer
Student Soldiers...Have You Forgotten?
Dr. William Self
RECOVERING!
For a list of all the countries with
U.S. troops stationed there go to:
http://www.defenselink.mil/faq
By Jed BartonBy Jed BartonBy Jed BartonBy Jed BartonBy Jed BartonSports EditorSports EditorSports EditorSports EditorSports Editor
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7/28/2019 75 Issue 7
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M o s t
M o n t a n a
colleges of-
fer housing
for students
who are mar-
ried or single
with chil-
dren. MSU-
B has some
nice student
apartments
that are
available to
students who
qualify.The family housing at MSU-B is
located behind Alterowitz gym. There
are a total of 10 apartments. Six of them
are three bedroom units, and four are two
bedroom units. Two basement units are
handicap-accessible; the bathrooms in
these units consist of only a shower. All
of the apartments have a washer, dryer,
refrigerator, stove, dishwasher, and all
have central air.
To be eligible for these apartments
you need to be a full-time student, married,
married with children, or a single parent with
children. You will need to pass a credit and
rent history check. You will also need a $450
By Michael RedstoneBy Michael RedstoneBy Michael RedstoneBy Michael RedstoneBy Michael RedstoneStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff Writer
For Rent:
Family Housing
at MSU-B
deposit, along with a $50 key deposit. The
rent is $425 month for the two bedroom
units, and $475 for the three bedroom units.
The school will pay for your water and gar-
bage, but the renter is responsible for the
gas and electricity. Renters are also respon-
sible for contacting the appropriate agen-
cies for gas and electricity hook-ups, phoneservice, cable, etc.
There are occupancy limits to the
apartments. In the three bedroom units,
there is a limit of two adults and four
children, or one adult and four children.
In the two bedroom units, there is a limit
of two adults and two children or one
adult and two children. However, you
do not need to have children to qualify
for the apartments. Pets are not allowed,
all of the units are non-smoking and the
renters are required to purchase MSU-
B family housing parking permits and
will receive assigned parking spaces in
the family housing parking lot.
All apartments are currently occu-pied, but the school does have a waiting
list. Open apartments will be filled based
on the date received, eligibility, credit/rent
history checks, and availability of appro-
priate apartments. The application must be
completed with the necessary attached
documents and a $25 documentation fee
before they will be accepted. All applica-
tions will be held on file for six months.
After that point it is the responsibility of
the applicant to renew their application ev-
ery six months. If you would like more
information, or an application, please con-
tact the Office of Housing and Residential
Life at 657-2333. (photo by Jed Barton) The family housing units sit just behind Alterowitz Gym.
Press Release
BILLINGS Montana State Uni-
versity-Billings once again will present
College is Possible in the Student Union
College
is
Possible
Building. Geared toward high school stu-dents, potential traditional, and non-tra-
ditional students, this program will out-
line the featured topics: Conducting a
College Search, Effectively Securing the
Best Financial Aid Possible, and Mak-
ing a Major and Career Choice That is
Right for You.
The Public is invited to these infor-
mative sessions from 7:00-8:30 p.m. on
any of the following dates:
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Thursday, April 15, 2004
Wednesday, June 9, 2004
Wednesday, August11, 2004
For more information, contact
the Office of Admissions & Records
at 406-657-2158 or visit us on the
College is Possible web site, http://
www.msubillings.edu/admissions/CIP
Welcome
back to the
MSU-Billings
law enforce-
ment Link to
the Campus
Community.
This i s the
pl ac e to f in d
out what kind
of criminal ac-
tivity has been
taking place
on campus, and also where to find
helpful information about how to pre-
vent crime and keep yourself safe.
School resumed for the major-ity of MSU-B students on Jan. 14, but
crime knows no winter break and sel-
dom takes a vacation. There were
some incidents of theft over the
br ea k, so re me mb er : ju st be ca us e
school is out doesnt mean you should
stop taking normal precautions.1-1-04 Campus security urges
students to lock their vehicle doors
at all times. This admonishment is
clearly stated on the parking permits
issued by the university. One student
learned this lesson the hard way as
there was a theft from a vehicle in
the east Rimrock lot.1-7-04 More deviant behav-
ior was reported in the east Rimrock
lot. A theft occurred at the Juniper
Inn and the item was found on cam-
pu s. Th er e wa s al so a re po rt of
criminal mischief.1-12-04 A theft of state prop-
erty was reported in the west Rim-
rock lot.1-16-04 A vehicle in the Vir-
ginia lot was found with its door
punche d in , bu t no ent ry w as gained.
A report of criminal mischief wasfiled.
1-19-04 It seems that one stu-
dent was a little too eager to cel-
ebrate the new semester (or perhaps
was already depressed and trying to
drown out some academic sorrows),
as a minor was found in possession
of alcohol in Petro Hall. A citation
was issued.
1-20-04 Criminal mischief
was reported in Petro Hall.
1-23-04 Is it too far to walk to
a restroom? A citation of disorderly
conduct was issued for public urina-
tion in the east Poly lot. Please, just
hold it until you get home; the world
is not your toilet.1-24-04 Disorderly conduct
was reported in the library.
1-25-04 An assault was re-
por ted in Rimroc k Hal l res ult ing in
an arrest.
If you observe any criminal be-
havior or are the victim of a criminalact, be sure to contact campus secu-
rity at 657-2147 immediately so the
matter can be dealt with in a swift and
proper fas hion.
For more information on learn-
ing about or reporting criminal activ-
ity on campus, you can access the
Jeanne Clery Disclosure of Campus
Security Policy and Campus Crime
Sta t is t ics Act a t
www.msubillings.edu/security.
Police Blotter: January
ByByByByByAdam WickensAdam WickensAdam WickensAdam WickensAdam Wickens
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7/28/2019 75 Issue 7
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One of
the most im-
portant skills
needed in or-der to lead a
successful life
is the skill of
m a r k e t i n g
yourself and
your accom-
plishments. It
is not easy to
get ahead in an
increasingly
competitive
world. How can an individual market his or
her qualifications in a way that makes that
person seem superior to all others?
In the workplace, in college, or in ev-
eryday life, knowing how to sell yourselfcan finally make all of your hard work pay
off. Individuals can take several steps to
make themselves more noticeable and thus
more likely to accomplish personal and pro-
fessional goals.
Everything in life revolves around
marketing oneself, said Simon Atkins, as-
sistant professor of the marketing and busi-
ness academic programs. Atkins, who is in
his second term at MSU-Billings, teaches
these skills to all of his classes.
Atkins teaches his students to sell
themselves using a process called SWOT
Analysis. Atkins compared the process to
the business world, explaining that in order
to succeed, a firm must analyze its Strengths,
limit its Weaknesses, find its Opportunities,and limit its Threats.
The first step to selling yourself is to
list your five strengths or assets. According
to Atkins, this is the most important step.
As a rule, always concentrate on suc-
ceeding in those strengths, said Atkins.
Next, find two weaknesses and make
short and long term goals to limit those weak-
nesses. Atkins suggested having a six-month
and a one-year goal. He explained that weak-
nesses can not be eradicated, only limited.
The next step is to focus on oppor-
tunities. Atkins advised pooling all of your
strengths in an effort to accomplish those
opportunities.
If you diversify your opportunities,
you wont be as strong as the person who
concentrates on his or her largest pursuit,
said Atkins.The final step is to limit threats against
your success. Try to determine one thing that
has always held you back and work to better
yourself in that area.
Atkins stressed the importance of
learning how to present, persuade, and ne-
gotiate. These are three skills that are man-
datory in order to sell yourself in life.
Atkins also suggested that everyone
should have a 10 second punch line or
motto. In a world that is increasingly com-
petitive, you have to make yourself stand
out, said Atkins.
Appearing confident is one of the best
ways to stand out above others. However,
modesty is very important in todays society.People seem to think that they are expected
to make light of their accomplishments so as
not to appear cocky. Confidence should not
be confused with cockiness, and one should
be able to view his or her accomplishments
with pride without offending others.
Be proud of who you are and al-
ways toot your own horn politely, yet per-
sistently, said Atkins. He urged the impor-
tance of doing what you believe in and not
what other people believe you should do.
Appearance is another important part
of selling yourself. Cleanliness, clothing, and
posture say a lot about a person. It is said that
a book should not be judged by its cover, but
appearance can show others how serious an
individual is about his or her endeavors.More important than appearance is
what comes out of your mouth. Verbal rep-
ertoire is one way in which people are al-
ways judged, and it can affect whether or
not you are taken seriously.
The last and most important aspect of
marketing yourself is to never settle for less
than you deserve. If you allow yourself to
get lost in the background while others get
ahead, you will never accomplish your goal.
These skills can be beneficial not only
in a career or college setting, but in every
aspect of life. Everyone wants to be noticed;
these skills can help to improve an
individuals social life as well.
ByByByByByJessalyn RemingtonJessalyn RemingtonJessalyn RemingtonJessalyn RemingtonJessalyn Remington
ReporterReporterReporterReporterReporter
Selling YourselfHow to Get Ahead in Life and Your Career
Most
college stu-
dents are
poor. Be-
tween pay-
ing for col-
lege, food
and living
expenses,
there just
isnt a lot ofextra money
left over at
the end of
the week. Well, I am here to help you get
the most for your money. When a person is
bargain hunting, they need to prepare them-
selves before they go out the door. No, I am
not talking about putting on your cross-train-
ers and boxing gloves. Prepare a plan of
action that will save you time. The first thing
you need to do is buy a local paper. I know
that it costs money, but there are advertise-
ments and inserts that will tell you when
and where the sales are.
Most of what you are looking for,
should be in the paper. For example,
when looking for food that is on sale, you
could start by looking at the Albertsons
advertisements. They always have some
sort of two for one sale, or buy one get
one free sales. They have a program
called Preferred Customer sales, and
when you sign up, you get a card that al-lows you take part in the Albertsons
sales.
Another place that has great sales
on food is Wal-Mart. I am a fan of their
two for a $1 boxes of macaroni and
cheese. Other boxes are three for $ 1 as
well. When you are cruising the aisles of
stores, look on the shelves. Sometimes
there is a sale that might have been unad-
vertised and you could get a great steal.
Pay attention to the price tags, it might
not be the product that was advertised on
sale; its the little differences that could
trip you up. Also, dont be afraid to buy
generic products. The generic brand is
cheaper, and they often have the same in-
gredients as the name brands.
Clearance sales are great. These are
products that are marked down to make
more room for next seasons products.
Have you ever walked by the cart in the
supermarket that is marked clearance?
Stop and paw through it to see if you canfind something that you need. Those
products can be marked down to half or
more off their original prices and they
make great bargains.
These are just a few pointers for
your next trip to the store. Take your time
and be aware of what is being advertised.
A dollar can still buy a lot of things these
days, you just have to pay attention and
budge t wel l. Just because you are
strapped for cash, doesnt mean that you
have to starve. There is always a way to
By Michael RedstoneBy Michael RedstoneBy Michael RedstoneBy Michael RedstoneBy Michael RedstoneStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff WriterStaff Writer
Get the most for your dollars:Beginning Bargain Hunting for Dummies
make your money stretch.
In the next issue we will look at dif-
ferent thrift stores to see what they have
to offer. Dont be afraid to spend money,
and dont be so tight that you squeak when
you walk.
(KRT Campus) This student is dressed for success, are you?
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7/28/2019 75 Issue 7
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The Atkins
Diet. If you dont
already have
some precon-
ceived notions
about these threewords, you have
either been in a
coma or residing
in some remote
jungle village in
the Amazon, be-
cause even our
secluded metropolis of Billings has been
bombarded by Atkins mania.
It is safe to guess that we are all
aware of our nations current problems
with obesity. The tv is constantly assault-
ing us with infomercials about this or that
new diet that can slim your waist and re-
juvenate your life. Yet, unlike many fly-
by-night infomercials, the Atkins diet hasdeveloped a following of spellbinding
proportions. It has even impacted the
menus of our restaurants and the shelves
of local food stores. This fervor has in-
spired the Retort to do a six-part series
this semester on the Atkins diet and how
it affects you, our community, and our
culture.
First, we need to figure out just
what the Atkins diet is and how it works.
While there is not space enough in this
article to give a proper explanation of the
diet, here is a brief overview. The Atkins
diet is a departure from decades of con-ventional dietary wisdom. It contends
that our bodies are actually better off with
a high level of fat and a lower level of
carbohydrates. Finally, this is a diet to
please all of the meat lovers out there!
The goal of the diet is to train the
human body to burn stored fat rather than
a steady supply of freshly ingested carbs.
The transition to fat burning is accom-
plished by removing carbs as an energy
source. This forces your metabolism to
change how it operates in order to burn
fat. There is more information at
www.atkins.com that can give you a more
detailed and scientific description of the
process, but all you really need to knowis the Atkins mantra of, Low carblow
carblow carb.
Naturally, such a deviation from
normal diet philosophy is shrouded in
mystery and controversy. One good place
to search for answers would be the offi-
cial Atkins website. According to
www.atkins.com, the Atkins diet is the
greatest thing since sliced bread (or maybe
sliced bread is the worst thing since the
Atkins diet). It is not only safe and can
help you lose weight, but it will also do your
laundry, mow the lawn, and it can even fix
your car. Speaking seriously now, thewebsite is very helpful, even if biased
(which is a normal thing for any group pro-
moting a product or service). It provides
useful, practical information about how to
start and maintain the diet, as well as rebut-
ting what it calls myths about the diet.
Lets try to clear up one of the big-
gest concerns people have: Do I ever get to
eat bread and fruit again? This fear comes
from the first part of the diet, called the In-
duction phase. In the Induction phase, car-
bohydrates, which are found in large quan-
tities in fruit and bread, are limited to 20
grams a day. The guidelines for the induc-
tion phase, taken from the website, say, Eat
absolutely no fruit, bread, pasta, grains,starchy vegetables or dairy products other
than cheese, cream or butter. This is es-
sential in getting your body to start burn-
ing its stored fat. After the Induction phase
is over (usually two weeks) your carb in-
take can rise up to 50 carbs for non-exer-
cisers and as high as 90 for those who exer-
cise regularly. Along with the increased
carb intake, new foods are introduced
such as fruits, a more diverse group of
veggies, and nuts and seeds. As the diet
progresses and you have lost most of
your weight, the guidelines relax more
and more.Other diet-specific questions
can be answered thoroughly on the
Atkins website.
In regards to the safety and ef-
fectiveness of the diet, the air is
clouded with debate. A simple search
of the words atkins diet on
www.webmd.com resulted in over
100 results with various levels of ap-
proval and disapproval alike. What
does this tell us? The medical com-
munity does not seem to be united one
way or the other in regards to the
Atkins diet. The best advice for a per-
son considering it as a weight loss
option would be to engage in a per-sonal investigation and to consult a
physician about your individual case.
Although the jury is still out on
whether or not the Atkins diet is the
miracle it is promoted to be, in the
next issue we will look at some indi-
vidual Atkins stories and hear about
their experiences.
Counting CarbsDemystifying the Atkins Diet
Phase 1: Induction
Restrict carbohydrate consump-
tion to 20 grams each day, obtaining car-
bohydrate primarily from salad and other
non-starchy vegetables.
Phase 2: Ongoing Weight Loss(OWL)
An overview of the Atkins diet (taken from www.atkins.com)Add carbohydrate, in the form of
nutrient-dense and fiber-rich foods, by
increasing to 25 grams daily the first
week, 30 grams daily the next week and
so on until weight loss stops. Then sub-
tract 5 grams of carbohydrate from yourdaily intake so that you continue sus-
tained, moderate weight loss.
Phase 3: Pre-Maintenance
Make the transition from weight loss
to weight maintenance by increasing the
daily carbohydrate intake in 10-gram incre-
ments each week so long as very gradualweight loss is maintained.
Phase 4: Lifetime Maintenance
Select from a wide variety of
foods while controlling carbohydrate
intake to ensure weight maintenance
and a sense of well-being. This lifestyle
is the foundation for a lifetime of bet-ter health.
HOW TO:
Be On Your
Professors
Good Side N o w
my tests will
be graded on
curve, but I
do respond
generously to
money left
inside the
fold when re-
turned to
me, one of
my profes-
sors said jok-
ingly on the
f i rs t day of
class.
Now I wonder how that same
professor wil l respond to my sl ipping
one of those fake twenties made by
the Watch Tower Press, in to one ofmy tests. Keeping the humor going in
the student-teacher relationship helps
break down rig id barrie rs.
If you do nothing else but day-
dream in class, at least take the time to
jot down a couple of interest ing quotes
made by your professor. When you are
sweating through the next test simply
write one of those memorable nota-
tions along the margin. You may still
receive the bad grade you deserve, but
the quote will surely have caught your
professors attention and in turn, the y
may take note of your humor.
Political science professor Dr.
Craig Wilson says, In large classes
you lose a sense of intimacy with the
students. He also appreciates it when
students make eye contact with him in-
stead of having a wandering eye while
he is lecturing. Wilsons advice to stu-
dents is, Sit in the same relative
space each day, most of us professors
have a hard time with names.
These are the basic golden rules
of being a good student, go to class, get
your homework done and in on time,
and read the book for the class. Also,
another tidbit commonly passed along
is sit close to the front.
Ill give you one good reason to
do this : you can see funny mannerisms
that may make good conversation later.
I once knew a professor who would buy
a bottle of water every day and bring it
to class with her; however, the strange
part was she would pour the water into a
coffee mug before drinking it. Perhaps
she poured the water in to the mug so
that she could drink it faster.
Challenging an opinionated state-
ment is always a way to get recogni-
tion, but it is how you actually challengeit that makes it good or bad for you. Just
do not push too far on the topic. Two
good ways to start a challenge are: Can
you clarify the distinctions between
or Can you elaborate a little more
on?
Try to get to know your teachers
on an intellectual level by carrying on
conversation in class. Stay after class
or take your professor up on the office
hours they offer to ask questions about
a topic that he or she seemed extremely
interested in. Find a common goal or
hobby to create another form of recog-
nition.
Any way you decide to go about
it, keep in mind that most professors are
experts in their fields, and therefore de-
serve a certain level of respect and cour-
tesy. Being on a professors good side
can offer many good things in both that
specific class and in classes to follow.
A Few Good Ideas:
Learn the likes and dislikes of
your professor concerning class dis-
cussions.
Learn from spoken or writtencorrections offered by your professor.
Accept responsibility for mis-
takes, dont blame other people.
Now some things not to do:
Alienating your professor-
by fal li ng as le ep , do ing ot he r
homework, or day dreaming while
in class.
Insincerity- professors know
when your interest is only on the
surface.
Attempting to become the
teachers pet- one word, phony.
Your other classmates will resent
you. Excuses and flattery are big
no-nos.
Gif ts- unless in a joking
manner. A small token to show ap-
precia tion is okay, but extravagant
pr es en ts co ul d se nd th e wr on g
message.
(KRT Campus) Getting on the good side of your professor may be harder than you think!
By Linsey LindgrenBy Linsey LindgrenBy Linsey LindgrenBy Linsey LindgrenBy Linsey LindgrenColumnistColumnistColumnistColumnistColumnist
By Adam WickensBy Adam WickensBy Adam WickensBy Adam WickensBy Adam WickensCopy EditorCopy EditorCopy EditorCopy EditorCopy Editor
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7/28/2019 75 Issue 7
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Name: Dani MoenAge: 18
Hometown: Billings, MTMajor: Special Education, Freshman
Favorite Movie: Beetlejuice
Favorite Holiday: ChristmasIf you could talk to one person, dead
or alive, who would it be and why?
Gene Simmons. I would ask to borrow
his boots!
Who inspires you and why? My cousin,
Amanda Herauf, she shows me that
through all the hardships we may face
theres always light at the end of the tun-
nel.Do you believe in love at first sight? No
Piece of Advice: If someone seems too
good to be true, they probably are.
Name: Lyndsey RoddaAge: 21
Hometown: Billings, MTMajor: Undecided, Freshman
Hobbies: Going out with friends
Favorite Movie: Old SchoolFavorite Holiday: Christmas
Favorite Professor: Andrea Payne
Professor Pet Peeve: Professors who talk
too much and too fast.
If you could talk to one person, dead
or alive, who would it be and why?
Great-grandpa. He hasnt gotten to meet
my daughter.
Who inspires you and why? My daugh-
ter - That is why Im here today doing
what Im doing.
Do you believe in love at first sight? NoPiece of Advice: Dont have regrets in
life.
Name: Mirinda Little WolfAge: 29Hometown: Billings, MT
Major: Elementary Education, SophomoreHobbies: Spending time with my kids and
reading.
Favorite Movies: Lord of the Rings Tril-
ogyFavorite Holiday: Christmas
Favorite Professor: Dr. SandersProfessor Pet Peeve: NoneIf you could talk to one person, dead or
alive, who would it be and why?
The Dalai Lama because he seems inter-
esting and spiritual.
Who inspires you and why? My mom
she has always been there for me.Do you believe in love at first sight? No
Piece of Advice: If you are a know-it-all
dont let people know you are.
Photos and surveys compiled by Becky Butcher
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7/28/2019 75 Issue 7
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Recently, President Bush signed the
partial birth abortion ban into law. Some
have expressed concern that the ban on the
partial birth abortion or, D&X procedure
presents drastic restrictions on a womansright to choose abortion, and that abortion
choices should be made in consultation
with the womans family and doctor. Be-
fore the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision, this is
how abortion was decided upon in the
United States. The decision was made in
consultation with the woman and her doc-
tor, usually to save the mothers life. Each
states citizens, through its elected repre-
E d i t o r i a lDear Editor:
sentatives, passed laws compatible with that
states culture and values to elective abor-
tions. In 1973, the Supreme Court discov-
ered a never before noticed right to privacy
in the Constitution. From that point on,
abortion became legal throughout the en-
tire nine months of pregnancy for any rea-
son. For some, it can even serve as a form
of birth control now.
The partial birth abortion procedure
represents a type of late term abortion.
However, late term abortions remain legal,
because the D&C procedure has not been
banned. In this procedure, the baby is dis-
membered while still in the womb and the
parts removed and accounted for. This ap-
pears less gruesome than the partial birth
which required the baby to be delivered
except for the head so the babys skull
could be punctured and the brain
suctioned and skull collapsed.
Abortion in various stages of preg-
nancy will not be rare in this country un-
til we value human life as precious, and
recognize sex as a unique gift.
Kim Hunter
MSU-B student
Dear MSU-B college folk:
I am a Rocky student and was sim-
ply writing a friendly note to let you know
that a Rocky student named Luke Shealy
recently broke the I-Hop pancake eating
contest by devouring 25 pancakes in one
sitting without throwing up afterward.
For this feat, his meal was on the house
and his name is posted on the I-Hop
record board for all to see.
I simply do not think that any one
at MSU-B can compete with Luke in
this contest.
I challenge any one of you to eat
26 pancakes in one sitting and defeat
the current Rocky champion, and I
frankly dont think that any of you
have the will or the stamina to do so.
Thank you,Jacob Troyer
Rocky student
E d i t o r i a lRocky Pancake Challenge
Abortion
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January 16, 2004
To The Retort:Its a good thing that Jason Lillies
column (A Brief History of the Middle
East) in the December 1, 2003, Retortwas labeled opinion, because it certainly
was neither journalism, nor history. In
fact, it was a blatantly biased, one-sided,
unsupported, and ignorant interpretation
of the long, complex, troubled history of
the region.
*Lillie says, America has estab-
lished Israel . . . In fact, the U.S. was of
little help in the creation of the State of
Israel. Just as it refused to admit refu-
gees fleeing Hitlers genocide, the U.S.
also refused to support immigration of
refugees to Palestine or the creation of
an independent Jewish state.
*Lillie calls Israel a country no
one in the region wants there. This is
irrelevant to his argument. What coun-
tries in a region ever want to see the es-
tablishment of a new nation? Other than
those fighting for independence, who
ever wanted to see Pakistan created? Or
Bangladesh? Or, for that matter, the U.S.?
Countries crave stability and the status
quo, not a threat to local power and he-
gemony.
*Lillie says, The Zionists envi-
sioned the creation of not just a Jewish
homeland, but also a Jewish state. First,
its extremely difficult to have the former
without the political autonomy entailed
in the latter. Second, Zionism is, by defi-
nition, the movement supporting the cre-
ation of a Jewish state, and Palestine, asthe historic homeland of the Jewish
people, was the logical choice for such a
state.
*Lillie says, . . . the Zionists had
political power around the world and al-
most unlimited financial backing. This
canard, that Zionists (anti-Semitic code
for Jews in general) are enormously rich
and powerful and control the world, goes
back centuries; it is one of the enduring
elements of anti-Semitic propaganda. It
has always baffled us why, if Zionists/Jews are so rich and powerful, they
werent able to get more Jews out of Ger-
many before and during the Holocaust,
or, for that matter, prevent the Holocaust
from happening in the first place. And if
Jews are still so rich and powerful today,
why cant they do more to end the anti-
Semitic propaganda and hate crimes we
still constantly see being reported? Its
always easy to blame a small minority for
the ills of society precisely because they
lack the resources to fight back effectively.
Thats called scapegoating, a practice with
which Lillie is evidently familiar, since
that is exactly what he is doing here.
*Lillie says that the Palestinians
saw the Jewish people living quite well,
in their homeland, while they were living
in poverty. First, Palestine was the
homeland of the Jews long before it was
anything to the Palestinians. There has
been a continuous Jewish presence in this
region since before Biblical times. Sec-
ond, Lillie doesnt mention that 80% of
Jordan also consists of former Palestin-
ian land. Yet there is no call for Jordan to
give up any of its land for a Palestinian
statewhy not? Third, if Jews were liv-
ing quite well there, it was because of their
own hard work and expertise. The Pales-
tinians at that time were largely nomadic
herders, not farmers. Fourth, the major
reason Palestinians have lived in povertyover the last few decades is that the vari-
ous Arab countries that took in Palestin-
ian refugees after the 1948 war for inde-
pendence chose to keep those refugees in
camps rather than integrate them into their
populations so that the refugees would
remain as a political symbolthe main
concern was not the welfare of the Pales-
tinians but the hoped-for destruction of
Israel.
*Lillie says that the war for Israeli
independence was a bloody conflict andIsrael was relentless in its attacks. Is
Lillie aware that it was Israels Arab
neighbors who attacked first, as soon as
independence was declared? Is he aware
of how badly outnumbered the Israelis
were? Moreover, what war isnt bloody?
What people fighting for a cause, includ-
ing the Palestinians, arent relentless? The
Arabs were equally relentless. More to
the point, however, when Lillie talks
about the resentment of the Palestinians,
is the fact that multiple offers to partition
Palestine were made before the war, and
the Palestinians refused to consider them
because they were urged by their Arab
neighbors to get out of the way until af-
ter the Arabs had driven the Jews into the
sea, when they could return and take over
the land and resources. Unfortunately for
them, Israel won that war and every un-
provoked attack since then.
*Lillie says, It can be argued that
Israel would have been defeated long ago
by neighboring Arab countries if not for
the military assistance of the U.S. Lillie
is conveniently ignoring the overwhelm-
ing numerical superiority of Israels Arab
attackers and Israels own superiority in
developing weapons and training its mili-
tary. Yes, Israel receives help from the
U.S., but it is Israels own citizens who
have fought and defeated a much larger
foe. More disturbingly, Lillie sounds asif this is exactly what he wants: the de-
feat (or destruction?) of the only democ-
racy in the Middle East, a country that
has tried to live in peace with its neigh-
bors, only to be attacked again and again,
a country that allows dissent and argu-
ment (unlike Yasser Arafat and his Pales-
tinian Authority), a country that makes
countless contributions to the world in the
areas of business, science, technology,
and agriculture. The U.S. has always pro-
moted and supported democracies as abasic tenet of its foreign policy. If the
American people dont like this policy,
they are free to elect politicians who bet-
ter represent their views (unlike the Pal-
estinians).
*Lillie says, This is a very brief
history of the Middle East. Thats both
an understatement and a misstatement.
Its not just shallow in its content but in-
credibly one-sided, biased, and incorrect
in both presentation and analysis of facts
and events. It doesnt deserve the label
history.
There are too many other logical
fallacies and inaccuracies for us to re-
spond to all of them. Suffice it to say thatLillie has been reading and hearing only
one side of the story, and it is disappoint-
ing to us that the Retort editorial staff
couldnt see how biased his opinions are
and that basic fairness demanded at the
least an opposing viewpoint to balance
the misinformation, misconceptions, and
omissions of Lillies column, if not a com-
prehensive researching and rewriting of
Lillies own piece. People who know no
better may read his column and take it
for accurate, complete information. It is
far from that.
Sincerely,
Rachel SchafferEnglish
Deborah SchafferEnglish
Jeff Sanders
Native American Studies
E d i t o r i a l
(Jason Lillies response to the
above letter is on the opposite page.)
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Dear Dr. Rachel Schaffer, Dr.
Deborah Schaffer, and Dr. Jeff Sanders:
I would like to thank you for re-
sponding to my opinion piece. Everyone
is entitled to his or her opinion, and I re-
spect yours. The intent of my article was
to give a brief history of past actions byforeign powers in the Middle East that
have led to a general anti-American atti-
tude among the people of the region. In
your response you targeted the Israel as-
pect of my article, which I will address.
In the article I also discussed the topics
of the mandates, oil, and U.S. military ac-
tion in the region. To say that my opinion
was not based on historical fact is simply
untrue.
I would now like to address the first
of two issues concerning your letter, deal-
ing with the anti-Semitism issue. I was
not writing about the history of Jewish
persecution. I was merely discussing the
effect Israel has had on events in theMiddle East. To say that the creation of
Israel has not had a major impact on
events in the Middle East would be ab-
surd.
The second issue I would like to re-
spond to is the historical validity of my
opinion. Throughout this article I use
quotes from a book by William L. Cleve-
land titledA History of the Modern Middle
East, second edition. This is not the only
book I have read on the Middle East (see
graphic for suggested reading), nor the
only place from which I have received in-
formation. I watch the news and docu-
mentaries on the Middle East and have
formed opinions from the information that
was presented.I would like to begin by discussing
U.S. support of Israel after WWII, with
the Biltmore program. The most Force-
ful public expression of this position was
contained in the Biltmore Program, a set
of resolutions adopted at a meeting of U.S.
Zionists in 1942 calling for open immi-
gration to Palestine and the establishment
there of a Jewish Commonwealth. In the
wake of the Biltmore gathering, the
United States became the center of inter-
national Zionist activity, and American
and Palestinian Zionists embarked on an
intensive publicity campaign to involve
the U.S. electorate and U.S. politicians in
the issue of Palestine. President Harry
Truman, from his arrival in the White
House in 1945 through his reelection
campaign of 1948, publicly endorsed the
Biltmore program, demonstrating not
only humanitarian concerns but also an
awareness of the growing power of the
Zionist lobby within the DemocraticParty. Trumans commitment to the cre-
ation of a Jewish state was significant
because the United Statesemerged from
the war as a global superpower capable
of exerting immense pressure on its al-
lies (254-255). This clearly shows U.S.
support of Israel and the beginning of our
using them as a watchdog of the region.
You also dispute that my argument
about Israel being a country no one in the
region wants there was irrelevant. I can
think of nothing more relevantremem-
ber, the intent of my article was to dis-
cuss themes that have lead to an anti-
American feeling in the Middle East. The
destruction of Israel is in Al-Qaidas mis-sion statement. It has been a rallying point
for many Middle East radicals, leading
to the creation of such terrorist groups as
Hamas and Al-Qaida.
I will address the issues of political
influence and financial backing by discuss-
ing the Balfour declaration, the white pa-
pers and the Jewish National Fund. I will
start with the Balfour declaration: In an
effort to appeal to U.S., Russian, and Ger-
man Jewry and also to secure control over
the territory adjacent to the Suez Canal, Brit-
ain agreed to favor the establishment of a
Jewish national home in Palestine. This
agreementthe famous Balfour Declara-
tion of November 1917was conveyed in
a letter from Foreign Secretary ArthurBalfour to Lord Rothschild, a prominent
British Zionist (160). If that is not politi-
cal influence I dont know what is. It also
re-iterates my point of the Middle East be-
ing treated unfairly by outside powers
leaders of the region were not consulted on
this matter.
The white papers were British policy
documents on the Palestinian mandate
(current day Israel). The first white paper
was issued in 1930. The white paper
stressed Britains dual obligation as a man-
datory power and stated the governments
intention to set aside state lands for the
settlement of landless Arab Peasants
(250). The white paper also wanted to
place restrictions on Jewish immagration
(251) which was considered unacceptable
to the Zionists and they mounted a con-
certed effort to have the entire document
withdrawn (251). They succeeded. In
1931 the first White Paper was resended
from British policy. Known to the Arabsas the Black Letter, it confirmed their be-
lief in the ability of Zionist pressure groups
to influence the decisions of the British
government (251).
The second white paper was issued
in 1939. The white paper stated: His
Majestys Government therefore now de-
clare unequivocally that it is not part of
their policy that Palestine should become
a Jewish State. The document declared
that Jewish immigration was to be lim-
ited to 15,000 a year over the next five
years, at which point it would cease all
together unless the Arab community con-
sented to its continuation; that land trans-
fers to Jews were to be restricted to cer-tain specified areas; and that in ten years
Palestine would be granted indepen-
dence (253-254). Zionists used their
political influence to have the first white
paper rescinded and simply ignored the
second. Both white papers clearly show
that Britain did not support the creation
of an Israeli state.
On the issue of Jews buying prime
farm land and kicking off the Arab ten-
ant farmers: Jewish immigration and
land acquisition lay at the heart of the
communal tension in Palestine. The
Zionist organization chiefly responsible
for negotiating land purchases was the
Jewish National Fund, which bought
land it then regarded as belonging to theJewish people as a whole and leased it
exclusively to Jews at a nominal rate.
By 1939 some 5 percent of the total
land area of the mandate, making up ap-
proximately 10 percent of the total culti-
vable land, was Jewish-owned. The
transfer of cultivated land from Arab to
Jewish ownership had a devastating ef-
fect on the Palestinian peasantry, which
in 1936 still composed two-thirds of the
Arab population of the mandate. The
usual outcome of such a t ransaction was
the eviction of Arab tenant farmers and
their addition to the growing ranks of
unemployed (247-249). This is veri-
fication of my statements.
Your next response was to talk
about the Israeli war for independence.You obviously did not read my article
carefully because I did not mention the
1948 war. I clearly stated that I was
talking about the civil war in 1947,
when Britain still held its mandate over
Palestine.
I would like to thank you again for
responding to my opinion piece. I would
like to add more, but this medium is lim-
ited on space. As I stated previously, the
intent of my article was to discuss some
possible reasons why there is such an
anti-American feeling in the Middle East.
It was not my intent to bring the issue of
Israel to the forefront.
Sincerely,Jason Lillie
Suggested Readings on
the Middle Eastern
Conflict
Drinking the Sea at
Gaza
-Amira Hass
Baghdad Without a
Map
-Tony Horwitz
Six Days of War:
June 1967 and the
Making of the Modern
Middle East
-Michael Boren
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VOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEVOTEONLINEONLINEONLINEONLINEONLINE
FEBRUARYFEBRUARYFEBRUARYFEBRUARYFEBRUARY
11th11th11th11th11th
&&&&&
12th12th12th12th12th
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What I LoveI love the look in your eyes that sends chills
down my spine,
that feeling inside that I know youre all mine.
I love the gentleness in your being that makes
you so real
your caring and kindness that everyone can
feel.
I love the beating of my heart when your lips
touch mine,
the wonderful sensation that stops all time.
When you say you love me I know its true,and its for all these reasons why I love you!
Chelsea M Kemp
Copyright 2004 Chelsea M Kemp
Everybodys
back. Hoo-ray! Now I
know that
amidst all the
fun youve
all had over
the break,
there were
those mo-
ments when
you couldnt
help but
wonder: Whats Aric Weber up to? Fore-
seeing this inevitable longing as being a
possible problem during the vital first third
of our spring 2004 semester, I took the time
over the break to meticulously cataloge myactivities. Here you go:Dec. 10: Had final final of the se-
mester. Celebrated with alcohol and
noisemakers leftover from the previous
New Years Eve. Seeing no time in the
near future when the noisemakers
would be of any use, I used them until
they no longer made any noise, and
throw then threw them away.Dec. 11: Plenty of free time. De-
cide to continue my experiments with
macintosh apples. Keep at it, Aric!
There will be results.Dec. 12: Performed third act of
King Learbefore a sold out crowd of
stuffed animals in my bedroom. Its a
rousing success. Standing ovation fol-lowed by two encores. Ive been asked
to stay for another three weeks, but had
to decline because of corns.
Dec. 13: Wept.Dec. 14: Built a fort of couch
cushions in the living room. Spent all
day playing cavalry with my imagi-
nary friend Carmen Electra. After dark,
we stayed up a whole hour past bed-
time playing poker for Skittles.Dec. 15: Got up early for class.
By Aric WeberBy Aric WeberBy Aric WeberBy Aric WeberBy Aric WeberColumnistColumnistColumnistColumnistColumnist
Cut my hand up pretty bad breaking into
the L.A. building, then realized Id for-
gotten my pencil. Went home to get it,returned to campus. Cut my nose up
pretty bad rebreaking in (dont ask). A
custodian told me there was no class to-
day and we had a hardy laugh as he es-
corted me out. He cut my eye up pretty
bad (ask - and file appropriate forms) .Dec. 16: My little sister turned
21, so I drank. A lot. Though I am told
that I had to be carried to a cab (wet,
incoherent, and singing jaunty sea-bal-
lads), I like to think that for this one
night I was called upon by our govern-
ment for reasons of foreign espionage
which, for a matter of national security,
was erased from my memory by the
CIA. Awaiting thank you call fromG.W.Dec. 17: Hoping for better re-
sults, decided to switch from macintosh
to Granny Smith apples. Tenacity Aric,
tenacity.Dec. 18: Took time off from
apple work to invent licorice buttons
for those who are hungry while un-
dressing. Pork-zipper put on back
burner.Dec. 19: Spent better part of the
day trying to change wine into water;
spent worse part of the day drunk.Dec. 20: Paid the neighborhood
kids $17.50 to erect a snow statue in
my own image. They finished an hour
later. I loved it, but when looking upthe street I noticed that most of the
homes on my block also had Aric We-
ber snow statues on their front lawns
(complete with carrot nose and pipe). I
wonder if any likeness rights are being
violated here. May seek legal action.Dec. 21: Tried to scatter a pile of
leaves across the yard with my mind.
It finally looked like I was making some
progress when I noticed that the wind
had simply picked up. The remainder
of the day was spent trying to unscatter
them.
Dec. 22: Carmen wanted to gosteppin out, so on with the Ritz and
out to the streets. We decided to ride
the elevator at the Holiday Inn all night
long. She kept farting and I kept apolo-
gizing for her. After one confused look
too many, we decide to go home. Half-
way there, she got tired and I had to
carry her the rest of the way.Dec. 23: Counted and alphabet-
ized my collection of emery boards.
164 up to R.Dec. 24: Someones birthday to-
morrow; cant remember who. I de-
cide to call everyone I know and say
Happy Birthday! when they answer.
Most people say, Whos this? and Ihang up.
Dec. 25: Slept all day. Awoke
to 30-some voicemails. Most were
family members asking me where I
was. So many called, that I began to
worry that maybe Ididnt even know.
Rest of the day spent arguing with a
guy from the G.P.S., then Seinfeldcame
on.
Dec. 26: Realized what day yes-
terday was and tried my damndest to
make Carmen believe that today was
Christmas. It worked. Spent quiet day
around the house, ate, and opened
gifts. I got Carmen 11 Faberge eggs;
she didnt get me anything. I was mad
enough to spit, and did, but settleddown when I remembered that she is
intangible.Dec. 27: Wept more.
Dec. 28: Tried to find new ways
to sneeze.Dec. 29: House-cleaning day, so
I moved.
Dec. 30: New house is great!
Carmen threw a fit and decided, no
matter how much I pleaded, she
wouldnt join me. Im in luck though
because Ive quickly befriended my
new neighbors - Britney Spears and the
female cast ofV.I.P.Dec. 31: New Years Eve! Im
going out tonight. I now wish that Id
saved a noisemaker or two.Jan. 8: Awoke dazed in a Bur-
mese opium den to a young village girl
moistening my brow with a damp
cloth. Where did the last week go?
How about my keys, for that matter?
Its a fair bet that my ride left.Jan. 9: Still in Burma. For one
hour today I saw the strands of light
that connect all living things and all
inanimate things. Those involved with
the Kennedy assassination were con-
nected by red. Cant remember their
faces though -could be the opium.Jan. 10: Found passage home by
way of a sundress and a pair of pome-
granates. I convinced the British con-
sulate to Burma that I was a beautiful
woman and made him fall in love with
me. I told him that today was my birth-
day and the one thing I wanted more than
any other was to see the bright lights and
SO2
filled skies of Billings, MT. Con-
veniently lost him at Logan International
Airport and was able to sneak home,
have a snack, and go to bed.
Jan. 11: Kicked my opium habit
in one day with the aid of cigarettes.
Joe Camel, you are a lifesaver!
Jan. 12: On a lark, switched
from Granny Smith apples to mandarinoranges. Finally, the results Ive been
striving for begin to reveal themselves.Now I have but to sit and wait for the
residuals to roll in.Jan. 13: With apple/orange work
completed, I began looking for a way
to can and distribute steam for those
looking for a quickie-schvitz. Tenacity
Aric, tenacity.
Jan. 14: School. Know thyself
Mr. Weber.
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When most
people th ink of
Valentines Day,
visions of hearts,
chocolates, flow-ers, and teddy
bear s pop in to
their heads. Its
easy to fall into the
traditional clich
of showering that
special someone
with these time-
honored goodies.
This year, why not
come up with
something unique
to remind her of
the reasons she fell
in love with you in
the first place?Before you
begin your search
for the perfect gift,
it might help to un-
derstand where
Valentines Day
came from. Con-
trary to popular belief, the holiday was
not simply created by Hallmark to boost
sales. Another common misconception by
some members of the male gender is that
Valentines Day is just another reason forthe female gender to expect special treat-
ment and gifts.
In actuality, the holiday began in the
time of the ancient Roman Empire, where
Feb. 14 was a day set aside to honor Juno,
queen of the Roman gods and goddesses.
On this evening, young men would draw
the names of young women. These young
men and women would pair off for the
rest of the festival. Some of the relation-
ships that were formed would last for the
duration of the year or lead to marriage.
The following day, Feb. 15, began the
Feast of Lupercalia, a ceremony to bring
fertility to crops and women.
Later, under the rule of EmperorClaudius II, a law was passed in Rome
outlawing marriage. Claudius II felt that
men would be more willing to join his
army if they did not have wives and fami-
lies to leave behind.
A priest at the temple at this time,
St. Valentine, refused to obey the cruel
law and continued to marry young
couples. Valentine was jailed and sen-
tenced to death for defying Claudius II.
It is said that during his time in jail,
Valentine developed a relationship withthe daughter of the prison guard. Valen-
tine was martyred on Feb. 14, 269 A.D.
Before his death, Valentine left a note for
the prison guards daughter and signed it
Love from your Valentine. This became
the first valentine in history.
Now that you know that Valentines
Day has been a celebration of love for
thousands of years, take the opportunity
to do something truly original for your
Valentine. Instead of buying her some-
thing, why not plan a romantic evening
for two?
Another suggestion is to get her
something that will allow her to com-
pletely indulge herself. A set of bath oilsand lotions complete with a coupon for
a free massage (if you have good hands
make it a homemade coupon) is sure to
put her in a romantic mind set for the
day dedicated to love.
Women love surprises, so try fill-
ing her home or apartment with rose pet-
als, candy, and scattered notes letting her
know what she means to you. The per-
sonal touch and the extra planning make
this surprise one that she will remember.
Make your sweetie a book ofhomemade coupons that can be used
anytime. They can be good for things like
breakfast in bed, dinner for two, or a
movie night. She just chooses when to
use one and it is the gift that keeps on
giving.
Is your valentine a smoker? Buy a
carton of her favorite cigarettes and write
a sweet personal message to tape on each
pack. That way, the next time she reaches
for a pack of cigarettes, you will be the
one on her mind.
If your relationship has not quite
matured to the romantic level, get your
sweetheart tickets to an upcoming con-
cert or event. This will let her know thatyou look forward to spending more time
with her.
Remember, its the thought that
counts. Homemade gifts mean more and
cost less. Take the time to make this
Valentines Day one that she will remem-
ber forever.
Between The Sheets- Make Her Valentines Day
By Evelyn IrmenBy Evelyn IrmenBy Evelyn IrmenBy Evelyn IrmenBy Evelyn IrmenReporterReporterReporterReporterReporter
ByByByByByJessalyn RemingtonJessalyn RemingtonJessalyn RemingtonJessalyn RemingtonJessalyn Remington
ReporterReporterReporterReporterReporter
Feb. 9-15, 2004Aries (March 21-April 20). For-
gotten debts, past workplace errors and
lost documents may reappear. Monday
through Wednesday, watch for key of-
ficials to demand new dedication and
loyalty. In the coming weeks, business
obligations and daily duties will steadily
increase. Provide detailed paperwork
and complex descriptions of your ef-
forts. After Wednesday, social timing is
vital to new friendships. Expect minor
disputes, canceled plans and last-minute
reversals. Stay focused.
Taurus (April 21-May 20). Early
this week, long-term relationships be-
gin several weeks of open discussion.
After Tuesday, expect loved ones to nolonger remain silent or avoid difficult
subjects. Past financial or business