Towards the end of last term, a “serious act of vandalism” was carried out in Cripps’ Court, Queens’ College which resulted in over £1000 worth of damage. Without knowledge of who the culprits were, and none owning up, the Dean decided that until someone came forward there would be a cancellation of all “organised fun”. This included the ever popular College ents, and dinners such as Halfway Hall. The latter has recently been allowed by the Dean, however, in a surprising U-turn.

The College’s JCR was, naturally, very angry and facebook groups to ‘Save Queens’ Ents’ and the like were instantly set up, now with hundreds of members. The problem many point out is that there isn’t any real reason to believe the culprits will ever come forward. Indeed, they might not even have been Queens’ students and so won’t be experiencing this collective punishment. If no one does come forward, surely this punishment will be indefinite and result in Queens’ being a rather sorry place. One JCR rep feared the bar wouldn’t be able to survive much longer without the money that College ents bring in.

In our own College, we’ve also experienced what many would deem a collective punishment in a ban on WPRs for the rest of this year. Once again, this was due to an isolated incident which the majority of students didn’t even witness as they were in the Wolfson ground floor foyer. It then came out, however, that this incident was not necessarily the only reason for the ban, but rather it was because College wasn’t aware of how ents were being run.

Seemingly, it was claimed that TCSU were legally not allowed

to serve behind the bar due to licensing issues and catering staff would have to do this job instead. In an email to students, then TCSU President Oliver McFarlane said “this is required in order to meet licensing laws and to provide college with a

better view of what happens at our ents”. The WPR would apparently have to be renovated such that it was in a good enough state for catering staff to work in it. And thus WPRs would be banned until this work was complete.

Many College members were therefore shocked to see the usual scene of TCSU running the bar at the recent Burrell’s Ent in direct contradiction to what had been claimed the primary reason for our lack of WPRs. One might also argue that the constant presence of porters at ents (both WPRs and Burrell’s) surely means College already has a

very good idea of what goes on at ents. The porters certainly have more authority than catering staff do. So we are naturally left wondering what the real reason for the WPR ban is. After all, the WPR was only just ‘renovated’ months ago.

It also seems a fair point to raise that surely it is the fault of College, rather than TCSU or students, if they were unaware how ents were being run. It would hardly take much to walk down the stairs to the WPR and have a look at the (usually) well

Issue No 25

The Independent Trinity Newspaper since 2007

MISS ADVISE 4

FASHION 5

SPORT 8

Kindly sponsored by

travisty.co.ukFriday 5th February 2010

Bad Behaviour in College: how should it be dealt with?

6

Farewell From oli mcFarlane & hello

From alex Sault

3

Meet your brand new

TCSU

Continued on the next page...

In a few Cambridge Colleges recently, we have seen wide-ranging punishments impacting on all students due to an act committed by only a select few. The most obvious example of this has been Queens’, but we at Trinity have also received similar treatment. Is such harsh action fair? Or is it simply an unfortunate attempt at the sort of collective punishment normally used with young children?

2 IN BRIef friday 5th february 2010travisty.co.uk

behaved, but slightly chaotic scene. It is rather unfortunate that it took a major incident for College to actually do this.

The frustration of a Dean who can’t punish those responsible for an act of criminal damage is understandable. However, taking this frustration out on his entire College without thought of

when his punishment might ever end is short sighted and rash. In the case of Trinity, College’s motivation is hard to decipher. There is surely no need to punish all students who are entirely innocent, yet the other reasons given don’t seem to stand up having seen how Burrell’s was run. Maybe we’ll have to wait to see the new style WPRs for it all to become clear...

Overheard in Trinity... >> Why on earth our undomesticated maneater thought she could ‘manage’ a relationship

is beyond me. We’ll see how long she sticks with everyone’s favourite gemini...

>> One ‘Famous’ Trinitarian thought October too late for liasing with a junior of the same fame. Who needs privacy settings?!

>> Clearly the glamour of being elected to TCSU is enough for a certain adoring fan. Just don’t let the President catch you again...

Dear Travity Readers,

I’m incredibly excited to take over from Ellie as Editor this week, though getting the first issue done has been a bit of a nightmare. Given much of the content is from the new TCSU team, it was all rather last minute to say the least! As I type, copious alcohol from Burrell’s still sloshing away in my tummy, I’m still waiting for a page of content to arrive, and Jason is at the computer next to me writing what is no doubt another gem of a fashion article. He tells me this one will involve camel toes... Many thanks especially to the new TCSU team for sending in their introductions at such short notice, and in particular to Saulty and Oli McFarlane for their new/ex presidential letters.

I hope we’ll get plenty of fresh talent in the next few issues, so if anyone wants to write or do a bit of editing they should get in touch straight away. After all, in September I’ll be buggering off to Japan for a year, so Jason and Natasha will need a bit of support I’m sure. And Miss Advise can only be passed on to someone with supreme talent... Not that she’s not a real person or anything. Indeed the only reason I didn’t stand for President this year (and beat Saulty and Oli hands down) is because there would have to be the fuss of a by-election in May. Editor of Travisty is quite clearly a far more influental position anyway. Just ask Jenni what happens when you don’t send in a photo as requested...

The TCSU elections themselves were rather interesting and did throw up a few suprises; one being that Ed Hanna didn’t get more RoNs. On a serious note though, well done Ed, and it’s nice to read in your Travisty introduction that you have the exact same aims as Alex Wood did last year. Consistency can never be a bad thing. There were several close-run battles, mainly in Welfare with the women’s election being decided by only 3 votes - clearly Trinity girls prefer bareback.

Everyone at Travisty wishes the new TCSU team the best of luck in the year ahead. No doubt there will be trials and tribulations ahead; Burrell’s lighting, condom machines in the toilets, double beds, WPRs (or lack thereof)... actually finding someone who wants to be the Environmental Officer. All the makings of one of the best years of your life! Oh and can someone actually get some ice cream in the Buttery in time for the summer please?

I hope you enjoy reading our first attempt, I apologise profusely that the editing is pretty rubbish. Hopefully it’ll come with practice. We’re also about to create a new facebook page so you can all become fans (seriously please become a fan or I’ll look like such a loser) so you can keep up to date with everything we’re doing.

Have a great weekend!

Chris x

Letter from the Editor

friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk 3

Farewell from your outgoing President...

...and greetings from President Sault!Having just returned from Burrell’s clear up - an operation which was completed in record time with record levels of fun (there was even cake) - I am, quite frankly, excited. Indeed, last night, when the new committee suggested that my proposed meeting time of 10am for clean up was ‘a bit too late, can we start at 9am instead’, I realised that this is going to be a (Str)awesome year. And the level of enthusiasm and commitment is evident not only in the committee’s love of early mornings: so keen are the officers elect to get stuck in, that planning for the next Ent is already well underway, an access recruitment drive has kicked off, and Ed has risen to the challenge of helping Woody ‘store’ the leftover booze. (And to think we don’t even takeover officially until next week.)

There’s still time to get involved: the Domestic and Environmental Officer is yet to be elected, and if you think you can rise to the challenge, do submit an application.

I’m bouncing with adrenalin. I know that we have a fantastic team here, and one that is going to have a lot of fun representing Trinity students.

TCSU, I have no doubt you will do a fantastic job this coming year, and I wish you the very best of luck.

Saulty x

Alex SaultPuShIN’ It ReAl good

Turn to page 6 to meet the rest of the team...

oliver McfarlanegoNe But Not foRgotteN

Well, as much of a relief as it is to be here at the end, it will be sad to go. Proud though I am of the progress I made, it is well known that I was not satisfied and would happily have spent another year working on TCSU. Fortunately, it is also well known that I have full faith in Alex having worked closely with her and can guarantee that she will do a fantastic job for all of us. The precedent is now set for cheap stash, superformals and a rebooted WPR. TCSU is a very different beast to this time last year, and I look forward to seeing where it can go in the future. For now though, I’m glad to be slipping out of the public eye. Thank you for the past year and here’s to the future of TCSU! Oli McFarlane

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Miss Advise...Travisty’s resident agony aunt

What’s Hot

Dear Bricking it in Blue Boar,

Well this is very difficult purely because you have no idea what she’s thinking or might do. To be perfectly honest, you can’t even know for sure whether the stories about her are myth or reality. Would it be too much to talk to the boy? He could maybe have a chat with his ex (if he can stand to be around her, that is) and make sure she’s not going to do anything stupid.

Dear Miss Advise,

I’m quite literally fearing for my life! You see, around the start of term I slept with this guy (luckily he’s at another college so I don’t have to see him every day!) and nothing became of it so I just moved on and forgot about him. Problem is, I didn’t realise he had a psycho-bitch-ex-girlfriend. Apparently, she’s still ridiculously possessive with him and can’t handle him getting any action other than her.

A friend at his college said when he slept with a girl at the end of last term, the bunny boiler actually found out where she lived, went to her room and then tried to physically attack her! Luckily her friend was inside as they’d been chatting and could pull the nut-job off her. What the hell do I do if she tries that with me and I haven’t got someone there to protect me?! Do I need a permanent porter presence outside my door? I think they’d probably charge... Ideally I’d want to talk to her to make sure everything’s okay but, with what I’ve heard, I don’t want to give her a chance to get her claws into me!

Please help!

Bricking it in Blue Boar

>> Rag Blind dateAt any other time during the year, the idea of going on date with a perfect stranger would be incredibly cringe worthy and a definite sign of desperation. But RAG Blind Date is the one opportunity where you can sign up to a potentially disastrous evening and have a good laugh about it afterwards, when you get paired with a Trinity matho or worse some obnoxious rah from the Pitt Club. And it’s all for a good cause. Get keen!

>> roger federerIn last week’s Australian Open final, Federer showed once again that he was still the big man in tennis, defeating Andy Murray in straight sets. What a legend.

>> may BallsThe themes and dates have all been announced. It’s time to start planning your May Week social calendar. Never mind that exams are in between… it’s only a small detail! But honestly, forget all those other May Balls with their childish themes, all we really need is Trinity May Ball after all!

>> BarBour coatsWith all this terrible weather we’re having, it’s perhaps more important than ever to invest in some sensible items of clothing that will keep you warm and dry. Luckily, it seems that Barbour coats have snuck their way back into fashion. Finally, something fashionable and practical!

Email Miss Advise with your problems attravistymissadvise@googlemail.com

Informing the porters probably actually isn’t the worst idea! Especially as it’s someone from another college so they could easily be removed if it came to that. Though, they might need a bit more to go on than just a rumour, so even more reason to make sure it’s true. You never know, it might turn out that this is all an exaggeration, and she could be a half decent person that just hasn’t quite got over her ex yet.

Hope it works out,

Miss Advise

friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk feAtuReS 5

What’s Not>> cold weatherAs if we haven’t had enough snow this year, the weather has decided to go all arctic on us again. I would like to be able to feel my fingers and toes at some point in the near future! Hurry on up Spring!

>>valentine’s dayYes it’s that time of year again, and it can be stressful whether you’re in a relationship or not. Singletons feel that pang of loneliness or sheer annoyance every time they walk past a shop window covered in red hearts, while the pressure to be romantic and ‘in love’ can steer any budding relationship towards rocky ground. Who came up with the idea of Valentine’s Day anyway, because no one else wants it!

>> coyote uglySo apparently there’s a new Cambridge club night with girls dancing on bars, coyote style at NUSHA Bar. Never heard of it? Apparently it’s near Cineworld and the Cambridge Leisure Centre… yeah so miles away right? I mean, that’s practically Homerton! If Burrell’s Field pushes the limits of my ‘Cambridge bubble’, I can’t imagine I’ll be trekking out there anytime soon – even if there are girls dancing on the bar!

>> faux-fur coatsRecently they seem to have come back into fashion with a vengeance. I guess those wearing them are aiming for a 1920s, glamorous look. But really, it’s in bad taste. Even if they’re not real, why would you want to look like you’re wearing an animal?

This Issue’s ContributorsThe Travisty Committee

Editor..................Chris DeaconDeputy Editor....Jason EhrhartWebmaster....................Bo TianTreasurer............Nathan Kettle

Natasha PesaranChris DeaconJason EhrhartJess Milligan

Oliver McFarlaneAlex SaultThe TCSU committee

Jason ehrhartActuAlly A MAN

Gender Bender

I am fully aware that some of you may think that perhaps I’m not the best placed individual to criticise male adoption of female fashion trends, but I don’t care. I have been known to wear the odd female cardigan, even jeans before, but a line must be drawn somewhere, and I’m stepping out with my thick marker pen to draw it.

Firstly, my current hatred is male leggings. What?! Yes, male leggings. For women they are dangerous enough, with the constant possibility of displaying a camel toe (Ok, although I’m not an expert in this area thankfully, a camel toe is ahem, well… it’s a woman’s… right, enough, I feel sick) so just think about the male problem. Fair enough, if you are a particularly well endowed gentleman, you may be quite keen to display your assets, but I’d rather you didn’t. A slightly larger ‘friend’ of mine thought they were a good idea, ignoring my good advice, and safe to say, he looked heinous, chunky and well, a bit blobby really. He’s now the laughing stock of London Town and I’m glad. He deserves nothing less.

As if male leggings weren’t enough to make you hurl, male Ugg Boots might. Yes, they are comfortable, but that doesn’t really matter does it. Crocs are apparently a delight to wear, like walking on soft pillows of unadulterated bliss, but it is inescapable that you appear to be wearing a fugly bucket on your podgy, verucca covered feet (I can only picture fat people and nurses wearing them, although I’m prepared to accept that it isn’t only the morbidly obese who idolise these little creations). Back to the matter in hand, male Uggs distress me to the point that I want to lob them in the face of any gay male hairdresser who has the audacity to wear them in my presence. Man up, get a pair of sturdy boots and be gone. And for

that matter, while you’re at it, bury them in your oversized mulberry bag, douse it in kerosene and throw a lit match at it, stand back and watch these bastions of femininity burn. Or just don’t buy them in the first place. Either/or.

Put simply, there is a time and a place for men to wear items designed for women – times where drag is appropriate (no Chris, cross-dressing is not an acceptable lifestyle choice), when women’s clothes are a ‘boyfriend’ fit or if they are oversized. That’s it. There is no discussion on this matter. I apologise if I sound dictatorial, I blame the aggression inducing alcohol that was on offer at Burrells last night. With those who choose to ignore my advice, take heed – I won’t be angry, I’ll just be disappointed…

6 friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk

Meet your brand new TCSU

James stRawson- vice President

Arriving in Cambridge in 2006, James quickly made waves in the break-dancing scene, leading the Trinity team to their first cuppers victory ever, although an unfortunate injury put an end to this promising career. Since then, his fresh, innovative (some would say dangerous) approach to sonnet writing has, according to Varisty, made him a “big deal in the Cambridge literature scene”. Being on TCSU has been a long-standing ambition of his, where he hopes to represent the views of the silent majority, whatever those views may be. He has always drawn inspiration from his loving parents, particularly his mother who achieved the highest number of kills in the Falklands war of any female sniper. In his free time, James enjoys cooking, knitting and boogie-boarding.

Josh mills- male welfare

1st Year Historian from Nottingham (yes, it is north of London)

During my time in TCSU my main aims are:- To ensure that the college and university pastrol care networks are better integrated into daily life in the college- Work closely with the Female Welfare Officer to support fellow students in all aspects of university life- Establish the Men of Trinity and get as many people involved as possible- Set up a programme of events for Easter Term and Freshers’ Week- Run a drop-in hour twice a week, and use this time effectively to talk to other students/challenge them to Guitar Hero

KAte wiles- female welfare

vicky sPence- secretary

1st year studying Chinese (ie completely insane)

- An organised efficient committee that gets things done.- More ways for students to suggest TCSU agenda items.- Keeping the peace in meetings…

2nd year physicist, musician and sometime rower from Ealing, London

Aims:- Get on top of college accounts and ensure the TCSU committee never has to worry about funding- Help out the committee as much as possible and come up with ideas for making things better

sasha KAsas- treasurer

1st Year Natural Scientist from Princeton, USA

Likes: Brown bread ice cream, Bridget Jones, sequinsDislikes: Black pudding, alarm clocks, mess

- Be available at any time to listen to your concerns, offer you advice, and provide you with contraception - Improve the safety of females around college- Redesign the welfare board to ensure a reliable and accessible source of information

friday 5th february 2010travisty.co.uk 7

KAtie lam- access

1st Year Classicist from Guildford in Surrey

- Explore opportunities to run a summer residential course for prospective candidates- Bring back the Access Bus- Double the number of Target Visits- Get the Alternative Prospectus online- Produce a clear and concise flyer outlining financial help available to undergraduates

edmund hanna- services

2nd year, Economics, from Devon (nb this is important)

- Expand and improve the bar at TCSU ents, listening to feedback and offering drinks people want- Coordinate the best possible arrangement for funding the clubs and societies of Trinity through Amalgamated Clubs Committee- Liaise with catering to continue to improve facilities despite the turbulent year ahead

Jenni heeks- ents

2nd year histo, from Bolton.

- Is from bolton so fully able to deal with rowdiness/sluttishness - Looking for stuff to do while we don’t have the WPR - first ent coming VERY shortly - When WPR comes back, will restore it to its former glory whilst choosing themes that are not ridiKulous.

Jenni and a baby.

I would like to make the international community of Trinity even stronger by organising international formals within Trinity and with other colleges; and by encouraging setting up and participating in existing cultural societies on College and University level. From just chatting about things back home in your native language to more formal cultural evenings where anyone can learn a great deal about a foreign nation – the possibilities are endless with the diverse community we have.

alexey morgunov- overseas welfare

I’m a first year computer science student. My aims and objectives are to: - Continue to bring latest information and events to everyone. - Organise information into easily accessible forms. - Encourage active participation and feedback from all members of the college. - Support other committee members and all students.

Bo tian- PuBlicity and comPuting

8 SPoRt ANd dRAMA friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk

Women’s HockeyJess MilliganyoutuBe hottIe

This sporting year has been hilariously successful - hold onto your shin-pads.

The ladies hockey team have won a match. We’ve scored seven goals. We’ve even had an average of 9 players per game. We made it to round two of cuppers. And I can’t remember the number of the opposition we’ve injured.

Unkind people have, in the past, mocked our team who brave snow, sleet, sneers and seven-men-down matches to keep Trinity where they belong in the league. Players have been knocked out, knocked up, and now we are looking for new recruitments for next season. A certain blonde babe in G staircase is back from injury - she’s suffered 5 years of chronic laziness - and so things are looking up.

Our tactics for next season? Tighter marking, tighter shorts and more personalized kit with double meanings. Our forwards need to get a little further forward if we want to score a few more goals. Points go to our beginners

- they are not afraid to throw their weight and sticks into every tackle.

A spectator who wished to remain anonymouscommented: “Your ladies tackle, tease and tantalise with every reverse-stick manoeuver, it’s a shame you don’t have a full team.” So, join now: steel your hearts, scamper to Old Fields, and you’re guaranteed to score.

DramaPALE HORSEBy Joe Penhall

Directed by our very own MATT KILROY

Corpus Christi Playroom7.30pm

Tuesday 2nd – Saturday 6th February 2010

‘Funny bloke, Charles. He’s a lovely man. One of the best. But you know the only trouble is he’s a nutter.’

Come and see this darkly comic thriller by award-winning playwright Joe Penhall (recent film work includes the screenplays for Ian McEwan’s Enduring Love and Cormac McCarthy’s The Road) in this fast-paced production, featuring razor-sharp dialogue, a raucous contemporary soundtrack from London artists, and more macabre

hilarity than you can shake a baseball bat at.

Tickets can be bought during the week of the performance from The Cambridge Arts Theatre Box Office, either by visiting or by calling 01223 503333, and can be bought on the night from The Cambridge Arts Theatre stage door,

next to the Corpus Christi Playroom.