2014 paragraph structuring
DESCRIPTION
This presentation was designed for students at Massey University, New Zealand. It covers general features of effective paragraph writing, including issues of length, structure and flow of language.TRANSCRIPT
Structuring a paragraph
CENTRE FOR TEACHING AND LEARNING LIBRARY 3RD FLOOR
09 441-8143 [email protected]
1. CTL online resources
2. How many paragraphs? How long?
3. Principles of effective paragraphs
1. CTL ONLINE RESOURCES
http://tinyurl.com/6xy9hy podcast (can also be accessed through OWLL)
http://tinyurl.com/albanyctl Centre for Teaching and Learning, Albany
http://owll.massey.ac.nz online writing and learning link
Presentation: http://tinyurl.com/paragraphs2014
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts
http://tinyurl.com/albanyworkshops2014
2. HOW MANY PARAGRAPHS
Typical essays will consist of 6 – 16 paragraphs (1000 – 2500 words)
ONE introductory paragraph
ONE concluding paragraph
Between FOUR and FOURTEEN body paragraphs
Presentation: http://tinyurl.com/paragraphs2014
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts
2. PARAGRAPH PLANNING GUIDE
500 words: 3 – 5 paragraphs
800 words: 5 – 6 paragraphs
1000 words: 6 – 8 paragraphs
1500 words: 8 – 10 paragraphs
1800 words: 9 – 12 paragraphs
2000 words: 10 – 14 paragraphs
2500 words: 12 – 16 paragraphs
2. SAMPLE PARAGRAPH PLAN
2 & 3: future housing needs & plans
4 & 5: future economic needs & plans
6 & 7: future transport needs & plans
1: intro
8: conclusion
Discuss how Auckland is planning for growth. (1200 words)
2. PARAGRAPH LENGTH
No fixed length, but at undergraduate level between 100 and 200 words (4 – 8 sentences) is typical.
Shorter than four sentences? It could be ok, but have another look in case you haven’t fully supported your claim.
Over 8 sentences? It could be ok, but have another look in case some of the details are unnecessary or it would be better split: two well-focused paragraphs are better than one fuzzy one.
3. EXAMPLE PARAGRAPH
- GOOD OR BAD?The political challenge of becoming a republic needs to be considered. Firstly, Australians voted by 55% to 45% against becoming a republic in the national referendum held on November 6th 1999, with only the State of Victoria giving a narrow majority in favour of the change (Campbell, 1999) and New Zealanders are more attached to the Monarchy than Australians (Singh, 2010). Secondly, like New Zealand, Canada etc, Australia continues to be governed according to the authority of the ‘Crown’ as the executive branch of Government, an authority inherited from the colonial power, Britain (Radley & Foreman, 2003). In New Zealand, the current Governor General is Sir Jerry Mataparae (New Zealand Government, n.d.). Thirdly, Brown (2003) points out that Republicanism has traditionally replaced ‘top-down’ authority with a concept of a generalised power of the people and that diversity and biculturalism are ignored. However, in New Zealand, the Treaty Principles uphold partnership, protection and participation (Massey University, 2009). Therefore, it is even harder for New Zealand to abolish the Monarchy than it was for Australia, where indigenous rights and biculturalism have been less prominent. According to the last Australian Premier, Julia Gillard, the issue was no longer even on the agenda (Behan, 2011).
3. PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS
By the end of this presentation, you should have a clear understanding of the problems which make this original ‘Republic’ paragraph
confusing and hard to read …
… and of the principles which make the improved ‘Republic’ paragraph (which you will read in full later) more readable and
convincing.
3. PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS
UnityThe paragraph should focus on ONE claim about ONE topic
CoherenceEach sentence in the paragraph should build logically on the one before
DevelopmentThe paragraph’s claim must be supported with relevant evidence
Presentation: http://tinyurl.com/paragraphs2014
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts
3. TOPIC SENTENCE
Paragraph UNITY is made stronger by including a TOPIC SENTENCE:
makes a clear and concise claim
usually the first or second sentence
this claim ‘controls’ the rest of the paragraph – nothing should be included in the paragraph which doesn’t support or develop the claim made in the topic sentence
3. TOPIC SENTENCE EXAMPLE
Can you identify the topic sentence in this paragraph?
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. COMPONENTS OF A TOPIC SENTENCE
TOPIC CLAIM+
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. TYPES OF TOPIC SENTENCE
A claim is basically an answer to a question:
WHO?
WHAT?
WHERE?
WHEN?
WHY?
Hurricanes … mainly affect people of a certain socio-economic class.
Hurricanes … only occur in certain areas.
Hurricanes … are powerful weather phenomena.
Hurricanes … only occur at specific times of the year.
Hurricanes … are caused by certain atmospheric conditions.
A sentence is a claim if it’s possible to say, “No, that’s not true”
3. EVALUATION OF TOPIC SENTENCES
… is weak: it introduces the topic (vaguely) but makes no claim about it.
Topic sentence in the Original ‘Republic’ Paragraph
Topic sentence in the Improved ‘Republic’ Paragraph
Another barrier to the elimination of the Monarchy is the lack of an alternative concept of State power.
The political challenge of becoming a republic needs to be considered.
TOPIC
CLAIM
3. PROBLEMS OF VAGUE TOPIC SENTENCE
Because the original topic sentence was so vague, the paragraph includes too much irrelevant detail
Facts are only worth including if they make any difference to the claim made in the topic sentence
... the current Governor General is Sir Jerry Mataparae
Australians voted by 55% to 45% against becoming a republic in the national referendum held on November 6th 1999, with only the State of Victoria giving a narrow majority in favour of the change ...
3. PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS
UnityThe paragraph should focus on a single claim
CoherenceEach sentence in the paragraph should build logically on the one before
Development
The paragraph’s claim must be supported with relevant evidence
Presentation: http://tinyurl.com/paragraphs2014
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts
3. TECHNIQUES FOR GREATER COHERENCE
Coherence can be achieved by creating language bridges from one sentence to another. This allows the claim to be supported and developed as the paragraph goes on. This can be done by:
Repetition and Variation of topic vocabulary: keeps the focus on the same topic
Back-reference devices: Using ‘this’ / ‘these’ / ‘such’ etc means that each sentence builds on the one before, helping your argument move forwardSentence adverbials: Words or phrases like ‘Moreover’ or ‘On the other hand’ highlight important steps in the argument – but should not be used too much or too loosely.
3. EXAMPLE OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
What makes this paragraph coherent?
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. EXAMPLE OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
Repetition and Variation of vocabulary about the topic (hurricanes) and the claim (exert power) means that all the sentences are strongly linked back to the topic sentence
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. EXAMPLE OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
Back-reference … means that each sentence builds on the one before
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. EVALUATION OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
Improved ‘Republic’ ParagraphAnother barrier to elimination of the Monarchy is the lack of an alternative concept of State power. This difficulty is said to explain why Australians, less attached to the Monarchy than New Zealanders (Singh, 2010), voted against change in a referendum a decade ago (Campbell, 1999).
The clear back-reference and the omission of irrelevant details makes it more coherent and easy to follow.
The political challenge of becoming a republic needs to be considered. Firstly, Australians voted by 55% to 45% against becoming a republic in the national referendum held on November 6th 1999, with only the State of Victoria giving a narrow majority in favour of the change (Campbell, 1999). On the other hand, Australians are less attached to the Monarchy than New Zealanders (Singh, 2010).
Original ‘Republic’ Paragraph
Each sentence seems to set off in a new direction, so it’s hard to follow the argument
3. EXAMPLE OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
Sentence adverbials … highlight key ‘moves’ in the argument (eg important links, contrasts, limitations etc)
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. EVALUATION OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
…. uses sentence adverbials – in a desperate attempt to cover up the lack of real coherence
Original ‘Republic’ Paragraph
Firstly, ........ On the other hand, ....... Secondly, ...... Thirdly, ..... However, ....... Therefore, ......
Improved ‘Republic’ Paragraph
…. uses just a couple of sentence adverbials strategically – to highlight important ‘moves’
... the issue is no longer even on the agenda (Behan, 2011). In the meantime, like New Zealand, Canada etc, Australia continues to be governed according to the authority of the ‘Crown’ .... Republicanism has traditionally replaced this ‘top-down’ authority with a concept of power of the people. However, this ‘people-power’ concept has been criticised ......
3. PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS
UnityThe paragraph should focus on a single claim
CoherenceEach sentence in the paragraph should build logically on the one before
Development
The paragraph’s claim must be supported with relevant evidence
Presentation: http://tinyurl.com/paragraphs2014
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts
3. CLAIM DEVELOPED THROUGH EVIDENCE
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
4. Its energy
1. Its size
2. Its speed
3. Its capacity for destruction
3. INEFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT
… lacks DEVELOPMENT. Its loosely-connected ideas create a ‘shopping-list’ effect through:
• Lack of focus on the topic and claim• Overuse of vague adverbials like ‘Firstly’, ‘Secondly’• Inclusion of irrelevant details• Random shifts between NZ and Australia• Adding one fact after another without explaining
how they support the argument
A shopping-list paragraph takes the reader on a confusing journey that leads nowhere
Original ‘Republic’ Paragraph
3. INEFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT Political challenge must
be considered
Conclusion
Topic Sentence
Australians voted against - Victoria voted in favour – Australia not as keen on monarchy as NZ
Australia etc governed by authority of Crown
Supporting argument 1
Supporting argument 2
Supporting argument 3
Julia Gillard says the issue is not on the agenda in Australia
Sir Jerry Mataparae is NZ Governor General
Republics have people power – but not diverse or bicultural
Supporting argument 4 NZ’s treaty
principles mean it’s harder to abolish Monarchy
Supporting argument 5
3. EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT
... Uses the same ideas, but ...
• they’ve been more carefully selected (UNITY)
• they’ve been clearly built from one sentence to the next (COHERENCE)
• the claim made at the beginning is supported, leading up to a strong conclusion (DEVELOPMENT)
Improved version
A well-constructed paragraph tells the reader where they are going, guides them along the way and lets them know they’ve
reached the destination
3. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH
Another barrier to elimination of the Monarchy is the lack of an alternative concept of State power. This difficulty is said to explain why Australians, less attached to the Monarchy than New Zealanders (Singh, 2010), voted against change in the referendum a decade ago (Campbell, 1999). According to the last Australian Premier, the issue was no longer even on the agenda (Behan, 2011). In the meantime, like New Zealand, Canada etc, Australia continues to be governed according to the authority of the ‘Crown’ as the executive branch of Government; an authority inherited from the colonial power, Britain (Radley & Foreman, 2003). Republicanism has traditionally replaced this ‘top-down’ authority with a concept of power of the people. However, this ‘people-power’ concept has been criticised for suppressing diversity and bi-culturalism in favour of ‘One Nation’ (Brown, 2003) and would clearly be especially problematic for New Zealand, where the Treaty Principles uphold partnership, protection and participation (Massey University, 2009). If Australia, where indigenous rights and biculturalism have been less prominent, has struggled to develop an alternative to the power of the Crown, how much more difficult would such a process be in New Zealand, where national identity is a complex and central political issue?
3. EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT Another barrier to
elimination of the Monarchy is developing an alternative
concept of State power
This barrier led to Australians voting to keep the Monarchy, even though they’re not really so keen on it
The alternative concept of ‘people power’ has been criticised for being monocultural
This criticism is especially valid in the NZ context of biculturalism.
Supporting argument 1
Supporting argument 2
Supporting argument 3
If this barrier was strong enough to stop Australia
eliminating the monarchy, it’s going to even more difficult for NZ to do so
Topic Sentence
Conclusion
THANKS – AND SEE YOU
NEXT TIME!
© 2014
This PowerPoint Presentation and the accompanying handouts are copyrighted by
the Centre for Teaching and Learning, Massey University and may not be used,
except for personal study, without written permission from the copyright owner.
References and arguments are provided for illustration of writing principles only – not for their
content!
Presentation: http://tinyurl.com/paragraphs2014
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts