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Early weddings in America were often intimate familyaffairs held in the homes of the parents of the bride orgroom. By 1820, weddings started to evolve into the

recognizable contemporary event with a wedding cake andreception. The iconic white wedding dress didn’t even becomepopular until 1840, when Queen Victoria of Great Britain mar-ried Prince Albert. After that, lavish white wedding gownsbecame customary. Before that fad, women were often marriedin their “one best dress.”

Fast-forward 172 years to modern-day weddings, and onemight note that not much has changed.

Brides are still gliding down the aisle wearing white andnot-so white wedding gowns (see related story), and weddingsstill include cake and receptions. And according to JasonDeCunzo, founder of Riverhaus Productions in Missoula, thenewest trends are taking weddings back to their earliestAmerican roots.

Lately, brides and grooms have been taking the traditionalceremony out of the church. DeCunzo estimated that only twoout of 10 weddings are held in churches. However, he said thischange in venue hasn’t decreased the spirituality associatedwith the ceremony, but has heightened it as couples incorpo-rate what they consider spiritually significant. DeCunzo saidpeople still use candle-lightings to symbolize unity but he hasalso seen more elaborate vows and Native American elementsincluded in ceremonies.

However, the biggest trend has nothing to do with locale orceremony.

Modern weddings

marry trends,

tradition

Photo courtesy Riverhaus

by Tetona Dunlap

Valley Journal

Stock photo


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“The trend is friends andfamily,” DeCunzo said.“People are spending time,effort and resources onmulti-day celebrations.”

As a result, brides andgrooms are keeping the cele-bration less formal and host-ing activities that involvemore people than just thetraditional wedding party.

“It’s a like a pre-ceremo-ny before the ceremony,”DeCunzo explained, addingthat typically the rehearsaldinner was the time wheneveryone in the weddingparty got together. Now thatidea is expanding to encom-pass all-day activities suchas picnics or weeklong trips.The rehearsal is now sec-ondary to the celebrationand is worked into the activ-ities instead of being thefocus.

“Montana is a beautifulplace to have weddings;even for people from here,it’s a destination,” DeCunzosaid, noting that many peo-ple have rented buses full of

Stock photo

Ceremony trendsfrom page 19


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their family and friends and spenta day or two in Glacier NationalPark.

“People are having buffet dinnersinstead of catering to save money totake people to Glacier,” DeCunzosaid. “(Brides and grooms) are evenputting off honeymoons in order tostay and socialize with friends andfamily.”

Another blast from the past thathasn’t gone away is the weddingplanner. Since the 1920s, weddingplanners have been a staple for cre-ating the ideal event. The averagewedding today costs about $20,000,but DeCunzo said people nowadaysdo more with the same amount whilemaintaining a budget. For example,people splurge less on the weddingcake and use the money for a photobooth at the reception.

“People are not letting a weddingcoordinator tell them what they needto spend,” DeCunzo explained.“They want to be involved, but mostreally need help.”

And though DeCunzo’s businessspecializes in all aspects of the bigday, he is more than just a weddingplanner. DeCunzo and his crew offera full range of production services.They are lighting and staging

Stock photo

see page 22


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favorite, old, new, country, indie and in-between.

“Feels so Right” — Alabama“The Dance” — Garth Brooks“Marry Me” — Train“Waterloo Sunset” — The Kinks“What a Wonderful World” — Louis Armstrong“You Never Can Tell” — Chuck Barry“God Only Knows” — The Beach Boys“Lost in the Moment” — Big & Rich“Keeper of the Stars” — Tracy Bird“If Tomorrow Never Comes” — Garth Brooks“Darlin’ Companion” — Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash“Goin’ to the Chapel” — Dixie Cups“When U Love Somebody” — Fruit Bats“Isn’t It Romantic” — Glenn Miller“I Want to be a Cowboy’s Sweetheart” — Patsy Montana“I Love the Way You Love Me” — John Michael Montgomery“Could I Have This Dance?” — Anne Murray“Brown-eyed Girl” — Van Morrison“If I Didn’t Have You” — Randy Travis“Unchained Melody” — The Righteous Brothers“Till the Rivers All Run Dry” — Don Williams“This Will be Our Year” — The Zombies

First dance song reflects couple’s personality

Stock photo

by Berl Tiskus

Valley Journal


Linda Sappington/Valley Journal

Not-So-White


With so many styles, fabrics, colorsand accessories to choose from,soon-to-be brides might feel a

little overwhelmed when they beginthe daunting task of dress shopping.

However, Melissa Beumer, ownerof Mimi’s Bridal in Kalispell, has twosimple tips to send brides on the jour-ney of navigating the aisles of silk andlace.

The key to finding the perfect wed-ding dress is simple: shop early andset a budget. At least that would be themost important piece of adviceBeumer could give to brides-to-be.

“(The budget) is one of the firstquestions I ask when I work withbrides,” she said. This figure, Beumerexplained, gives bridal consultants astarting point and limit when it comesto dresses. She said the typical budgetis around $1,000.

Once brides know how much theycan spend, they can then start shop-ping, preferably at least eight monthsin advance of the big day.

“Wedding gowns take an average of20 weeks to manufacture. Often girlsare so clueless about that,” Beumersaid. “I recommend (shopping and fit-ting) anywhere from eight months to ayear.”

She said it’s often necessary forbrides to schedule appointments withwedding gown shops to browse and fitfor dresses. Not only is this polite, butit also ensures proper time for individ-ual attention. Beumer said it’s also agood idea not to bring children whileshopping. This way brides can focuson finding the perfect gown. Andthough brides often bring a bevy ofopinions that include their mothers’and friends’, Beumer said a solo trip isoften the most beneficial.

“Come in alone after you’ve comein with friends and family,” Beumersaid, stating that often the bride’svoice in lost in the crowd, which canoften “make for bridezilla” moments.

After these two easy steps, brideshave the whole gown world at their

Linda Sappington/Valley JournalBBrriiddeess aarree lleeaanniinngg ttoo wwaarrmmeerr hhuueess — such as off-white, alabaster or pearl — as they shop for their wedding gowns.

WeddingOff-white huespopular among

bridesby Tetona Dunlap

Valley Journal

see page 28


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“Romance is back and infull swing,” Beumer said.“Dresses have gone to theextreme with fitted, jeweledbodices and full dramaticskirts.”

What are not back are thedays of the white wedding.Beumer said many womenare flocking to dresses thatare off-white in hues calledivory, alabaster, pearl, seashell and glacier mist, whichhas a golden undertone.

“White is such a starkcolor … It doesn’t photo-graph well,” Beumer said,adding that white oftenmakes women with lighterskin tones look washed out.However, she added thatwhite does complimentwomen with olive or darkskin and features. Beumersaid white dresses look verynice on redheads as well.

“(White wedding dresses)don’t have the stigma theyused to,” she said.

Though white is not aspopular as it was 20 yearsago, sparkles and bling seemto be the “in” thing.

Beumer shared that bridesoften drape themselves inbrooches, necklaces andchandelier earrings.

“Colored sashes are also anew trend that can workagain with a cocktail dress,

Dress trendsfrom page 11


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evening gown or even a beautifulsweater,” she said. In addition tovibrant sashes, multi-hued shoes are alook that hasn’t faded.

“Platforms, peep-toe and stilettos area fabulous accessory for brides wantingto add height without compromising thehem of her gown,” Beumer added.

Bridesmaids are not exempt from therainbow gallery, and their gowns areavailable in an array of colors and tex-tures.

“Taffeta is back and glamorous asever,” Beumer said. “Satin and chiffonare mainstays with both long and shortdresses available in a plethora of colorsto fit any color scheme.” Beumer rec-ommends pairing a bridesmaid dresswith a jeweled belt as a “fun way toglam up your girls,” which can doubleas a memento of their participation.

And she hasn’t forgotten the all-too-important men in the wedding picture.

“Classic lines and colors that matchyour bridesmaids are the trend in men’sformalwear,” Beumer mentioned.“Suspenders in different colors andself-tie bow ties are the new look forsummer.”

Linda Sappington/Valley JournalSSoommeettiimmeess iitt’’ss bbeetttteerr ttoo rreettuurrnn aalloonnee to the bridal shop, where the bride can evaluate her choices without other’s opinions influencing her.

Dress trendsfrom page 13


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“Bucking” tradition

Cost divisionsmore flexible inmodern weddings

Drifts of tulle and lace, tuxe-dos, calla lilies and lilacs,buffets and even shoes all

come at a price.How do families decide who pays for

each part of a wedding? Years ago, every-thing was done according to the rulesaccording to “The Knot,” a magazine andwebsite devoted to all things bridal.

The bride’s family paid for the venuefor the wedding and the reception, thebride’s gown, veil and other accou-trements, flowers for the attendants andthe church, photographs and videotaping.

Purchasing the bride’s bouquet, thecorsages for the mothers and grandmoth-ers and the groomsmen’s boutonnieres,the groom’s family also clothed the


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groom, bought the marriagelicense and paid the officiant, aswell as for the honeymoon.

For more elaborate weddings,the two families also took turnspaying for engagement partieswith the bride’sfamily going first.The groom’s fam-ily hosted therehearsal dinner,and attendantspaid for their ownclothing andshoes.

According toJoyce Barbour ofBe Our GuestWedding andEvent Planning,it’s kind of ahodgepodge anymore. Some of thetraditional fami-lies feel the bride’s family shouldpay for most of the food and thebride’s gown and veil. Thegroom’s family almost alwayspays for the rehearsal dinner,Barbour added.

“Most trends are that attendantspay for their own attire,” shenoted.

Modern couples many times

pay for their wedding themselvesso all the “rules” can all be bro-ken. The rules may have begunwhen brides had dowries, and partof the dowry was a feast to cele-brate the wedding. Engagement

parties also beganwhen marriageswere contractedand sometimes thecouple had notseen each other.The party was achance to finalizethe details of thebride’s dowry —lands, goods,houses, even jew-els.

The Medici inItaly in the 1400swere the first togive engagementrings.

Today many couples are older,prefer less formal weddings or therecession has eaten into fundsavailable for weddings.

Money doesn’t make a wed-ding, though. Thoughtful plan-ning, do-it-yourself projects andideas and some cash are all that’snecessary. Stock photo

DDeessppiittee cchhaannggeess iinn ttrraaddiittiioonn,, the groom’s family still picks up the tab for the rehearsal dinner.vj

18 – January 11, 2012 WWeeddddiinngg GGuuiiddee 22001122ll

Be sure to attend the 2012 Mission Valley

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Wedding emergency kitsprevent stress

Weddings plannersalways keep a bag withemergency items thatmight be needed duringa wedding. It’s a goodidea for any coupleplanning a wedding.

Possible item toinclude are:

• Scissors• Tape, both scotch

and duct. • Aspirin, Tylenol or

Aleve for pre-weddingor après-weddingheadaches

• A bottle of water orseveral in case someonegets dehydrated. Plasticcups might come inhandy, too.

• Snacks, like trail

mix or almonds, fordrops in blood sugar

• Super glue• Tissues• Make-up remover

and q-tips for touch-upson eye make-up aftertears

• Band-aids or even asmall first-aid kit

• A small sewing kitwith threaded needles, abutton or two and somedifferent coloredthreaded for quickfixes.

•Tampons• A pair of flats in the

bride’s size• An extra pair of

panty hose and a coupleof pairs of panties

• Tide stain stick orShout wipes

• Visine

• Binaca and mints • Baby wipes fro

cleaning anything fromshoes to the ring bear-er’s face.

• Safety pins• Febreze spray

• A card that tells howto tie a bow tie and aregular tie.

• A corkscrew and abottle opener

• Lint brush• Hair brush, comb

and hairspray• Matches or lighter• Bobby pins• Nail polish, clear

and in the bride’s color• A couple of spare

pairs of sparkly earrings

and some cufflinks, ifthe groom and grooms-men are wearing them

• A card which says,“No matter what hap-pens, at the end of theday I will be married.”

by Berl Tiskus

Valley Journal

Berl Tiskus/Valley JournalAA wweeddddiinngg eemmeerrggeennccyy kkiitt is a great idea to have on your wedding day.

When RichardTougas was ayoung boy

growing up in rural NorthDakota, he had bad asthma,so his family decided to trythe Mission Valley’s cli-mate for a fix, and itworked. Living and attend-ing school in Pablo,Richard soon met the loveof his life Lorna, and even-tually asked her to go danc-ing at a local event.

Fifty-seven years later,Richard, 76, and Lorna, 77,are as in love today as theywere that night.

“Back then they had‘Teenagers in Pablo,’ wherethey’d have music twice amonth,” Richard said. “Iasked her if I could take herhome, and she accepted.”

The couple were marriedAug. 13, 1954, and thenewlyweds lived on thefamily farm for two yearsbefore a career changemoved them to Missoulawhere they lived for 23years before moving backto the family farm outsidePablo.

Richard delivered milk tostores and cafés forCommunity Creamerybefore a job change movedhim to Industrial AirProducts, where he retired28 years later.

Together, Lorna andRichard raised five chil-dren, Tom, Rob, Sharri, Billand Corey.

“They’reall scat-teredaround,”Richardsaid.“Tom’s inMesa,Ariz.;Bill’s inMissoula;Corey’s inFortMcCoy,Wis.; Roblives in thelittle housenext to us;and Sharri’s in Bigfork.”

Thirty years ago, theirother son Richard waskilled in a car accident afterapparently falling asleep atthe wheel.

Richard credits his wife’sdedication with raising thechildren, as he was awayfrom home spending mostof the time on the roadworking.

“I was on the road as asalesman Monday throughFriday,” Richard said. “Itwas pretty much Lorna’sjob to raise (the children).”

Of their five children,youngest son Corey was the

only onenot raisedMissoula,graduat-ing fromRonanHighSchool.InMissoula,the cou-ple saystheylived in awonder-ful com-munity.

“Wehad a

great neighborhood,” Lornasaid.

“Every Saturday night wewould get together; pingpong in the summer, and inthe winter we’d play

pinochle,” Richard said.“All the families were thesame age as us, and they allhad kids about the sameage. We got along realwell.”

When the children gotolder, Lorna took on a jobat Hellgate High School,where she took care of thelunch tickets.

The couple says the keyto their marriage is gettingalong and helping eachother out.

“We don’t fight,” Richardsmiled. “We get along well,and help each other.”

Richard added that hiswife’s devotion in takingcare of the house, cattleand flowers until he retiredwas a big help for the fami-ly.

The couple still lives onthe same farm they firstcalled home more than 50years ago, and where Lornawas raised. They nowreside in a newer homebuilt next to the one shegrew up in, where son Robnow lives.

Now retired, the couplespends their time travelingand visiting with friends atthe Ronan Senior CitizensCenter.


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Pablo couple still in love after 57 years of marriageby Mike Moore

Valley Journal

Mike Moore/Valley JournalRRiicchhaarrdd aanndd LLoorrnnaa TToouuggaass ssttaanndd ttooggeetthheerr outside their family home in Pablo just as they have for the last 57 years.

“Newlywedsbecome

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- Author Unknown

“We getalong well,

and help

eachother.”

- Richard Tougas


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While the coreelements of awedding cere-

mony — an ancient, sacredtradition — remainunchanged, creativity is thename of the game in plan-ning a wedding these days,according to Joyce Barbour,a Polson-based weddingand event planner. As withany industry, weddingtrends are constantly evolv-ing, and brides are takingmore and more liberties toadd personal, creativetouches to their weddings.

From personalized favorslike monogrammed coastersor locally made jam todesigning one’s own wed-ding invitations, there aremany ways brides canensure their weddings haveunique, memorable accents,explained Barbour, who’s amember of the Associationof Bridal Consultants. Shedescribed several currenttrends that are taking thebridal industry by storm.

• Two dresses: It’sbecoming more and morepopular for brides to selecttwo dresses for their wed-ding day — one a weddinggown and then a “fundress” for the reception orparty. The trend originatedin Japan, Barbour said, anddesigners are taking note,often making gowns withdetachable trains and skirtsso they can be modifiedinto party dresses.

• Mix and match: Insteadof having all uniform tablesat a reception, or all thebridesmaids in the samedresses, it’s common tothrow in a smattering ofround and square tables andto have each bridesmaid ina different style, or even

color, of dress. One dresscut won’t fit everyone, andhaving a variety of stylesand colors makes for moreeye-catching pictures, too.

• Colors: Most brides areleaning toward browns,teals and sage greens, whilepastels have largely fadedout of popularity. Brightcolors aren’t unusual,though.

• Tent-less: Rather than ahuge, billowy tent, manypeople are opting for patioumbrellas to shade tables atoutdoor weddings.Assuming the weathercooperates, this gives amore outdoorsy feel and

can be more aestheticallypleasing.

• Food: White glove, sit-down dinners are “comingback very strong,” Barboursaid. Most of her clientswant either a “sit-down din-ner” or a traditional two-sided buffet. Food stationsscattered throughout thereception area are becomingless common.

• Flowers: Natural is theway most brides seem to goas far as selecting flowers.Many people choose a localor state flower and carry ahand-tied bouquet ratherthan an elaborate floralarrangement.

by Melea BurkeValley Journal

Creative trends

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• For the groom: While tuxedos are still big,“Here in Montana, a lot of grooms are just doing

slacks and the (cowboy) hat — you know, the Westernstyle,” Barbour said. “Which makes for fantastic pic-tures.” • Music: DJs don’t just play music anymore; they usual-

ly serve as emcees as well. But with the extreme popularity of iPodsand laptop computers, it’s quite simple to compile one’s own wedding

playlist instead of hiring a disc jockey or a band for the reception, Barbour noted.Many couples also plan a unique, choreographed first dance to their favorite song,or even have the wedding party dance their way down the aisle, as seen in “JKWedding Entrance Dance,” the third most popular YouTube video in 2009.

• Guestbook: Instead of a traditional guestbook that everyone signs only to haveit end up buried in a closet, many people have their guests sign a piece of glass,sometimes with a photo of the bride and groom in the center. The signed glass canbe hung in the couple’s home as a permanent keepsake.

• Photography: Everyone has a certain number of posed group shots they expectfrom their wedding photographer, but brides are doing more “fun” pictures, too,Barbour said. Placing disposable cameras on each tableat the reception so guests can document the event,too, is “out,” she added.

“But it’s really whatever the bride wants. Ifthe bride wants cameras on the tables, thenthat’s what she should have,” Barbour said.

And knowing what she wants is crucialfor any bride. Careful planning is essen-tial in today’s economy, Barbouradded. The average Montana wed-ding costs $24,800, which may sur-prise people who assume prices arelower in Montana. One reason it’seasy to rack up a huge bill is thatthere aren’t a lot of full-serviceresorts in the state, so manypeople opt for outdoor wed-dings, Barbour explained. Andrenting all the equipment —tents, tables, chairs, dishes,etc. — isn’t cheap.

“It’s hard to stick to abudget … One thing Idon’t think brides under-stand is how importantyour budget is,” Barboursaid.

Researching everyaspect of the weddingwill make the wholeprocess easier and helpkeep things on budget.

“I think it’s essentialthat brides attend asmany bridal shows asthey can,” Barbour said.“They have to do theirhomework, too.”

vj


Wedding superstitions, traditions live on

Wedding superstitions, traditionslive on

Wedding traditions and superstitionshave been around since the dawn ofholy matrimony. From finding some-

thing old, new, borrowed and blue to seeing yourfiance on the morning of the wedding, many cou-ples engage in old traditions prior to tying the knot.But where do these popular practices come from?

According to a Wedding Superstitions andTraditions website, some can be traced back toRoman and Anglo Saxton times, some to Victorianrhymes and others to folklore that has been passeddown through generations.

Many have been changed or altered over time, asmany were much harsher customs when they origi-nated.

Even the common tradition of tying old shoes tothe back of the couple’s car comes from Tudortimes, when guests would throw shoes at the brideand groom, with the best of luck being bestowed onthem if they or their carriage were hit.

Luckily, things have changed since then, andcouples take more liberties with their big day.

“Some like to write their own vows,” Justice ofthe Peace Chuck Wall said. “Others like to have noreference to God.”

In Wall’s nine years of marrying couples, he saysnot much has changed in regard to couples request-ing specific traditions or superstitions.

“At my own wedding I requested a smudgingceremony,” Wall noted. “They take sweet grass orsage and burn it to an ember; take an eagle featherand blow smoke through it to the couple.”

Wall says he’s married Jewish couples, whereafter the bride has been given the ring, or at the endof the ceremony (depending on local custom), thegroom breaks a glass, crushing it with his rightfoot, and the guests shout “Mazel tov!” (“Goodluck”).

“I’ve also had a sand ceremony, where both thebride and groom have a container of sand, and theypour their containers together,” he added.

At weddings on the shore of Flathead Lake, Wallsays many couples like to hold hands and jump intothe lake together after tying the knot.

Flowers have always been a big feature at wed-dings. Traditionally, the groom is supposed to weara flower that appears in the bridal bouquet in hisbutton hole, a practice which stems from theMedieval tradition of a knight wearing his lady’scolors as a declaration of his love.

Wby Mike Moore

Valley Journal

Even the month andday chosen for the wed-ding are considered topossess superstitiousqualities. Sunday usedto be the most popularwedding day, but waschanged to Saturdaybecause many believedit was improper to befestive on the Sabbath.This comes despite therhyme: Monday for health,Tuesday for wealth,Wednesday best of all,

Thursday for losses, Fridayfor crosses, Saturday for noluck at all.

The tradition of some-thing old, something new,

something borrowed andsomething blue originatedin Victorian times.Something old signifiedthat the couple’s friends

will remain with them.Something new refers tothe future for health,happiness and success.

Something borrowedis an opportunity for thebride’s family to giveher something as a tokenof their love, as it mustbe returned for goodluck. Something blue

signifies luck, because thecolor blue represents fideli-ty and constancy.


file photoSSoommee wweeddddiinnggss tthhaatt hhaavvee ttaakkeenn ppllaaccee on the shore of Flathead Lake end with the couples jumping into the water.

“Some like to write their own vows, others

like to have no reference to God”

- Justice of the Peace Chuck Wall

vj


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