1. It was a full moon and the Pig was SCREECHING from the BREECHING at 8pm at the Waters Edge, Friday 11th November 2011. And then all hell broke loose

2. Minutes of November's Meeting confirmed by the Big C, who then went on to explain that seeing as many of the office bearers were not at our AGM tonight, they were unanimously reelected, (unilaterally more like it!) as a form of punishment for not being attendant. Whilst not much of an AGM in terms of attendance, this was a very humorous night where the Big C could have been mistaken for the MC of a comedy house.

3. Present tonight were 25 members from 107 total: Callan & Rosie, Wayne, Bryan, Big Bad Joe, Tukai, Slim Shady, Pistol Pete, Ben, The Donno and the Sarah, Cherie, Losalini, Billy PEE, Lou, Nathan, John the Font, Builder Ben, Rajiineesh and Russell, Gary and Chantal

4. Apologies from The SOON Yee who was at his Father’s birthday rampage, Erikk who was in the US looking to re stock his harem (and he thought we would buy the duck hunting spiel!), and Brianna Brooks who was in a Fashion Show with Dad supervising (many aspersions cast as to the need for Mike supervising at a fashion show, and why weren’t the very helpful members asked for their help?)

5. New potential members (observers) present tonight, Semisi (Sam) the Doc’s squeeze, and more jungle crazy Waidrokians Jay (J.J) and Susan.

MONTHLY MEETING MINUTESFriday 11th NOVEMBER, 2011

11.11.11Mwahahahaha

Either the Mrs (our local Dr) has just asked him to cough or Mr Dr has been subjected

to Rosie’s evil finger.

“Hard to be the King, with so few peons!”

“No BBJo, this is how you tie a knot”

6. Events CommitteeNot a damned thing to report here as The SOON Yee was not present and the Donno couldn’t get a word in about the Night fishing trip.

“Damn! I catch me as many fish as Nathan it

seems!”

“Seriously The Donno, you are trying to

organise a fishing trip with this lot?!”

“Rare species of caterpiller perched on bilo”

“Drinking grog at the Twisted meeting is not

optional Donno.” Tukai “the enforcer”

I want me one of these Aunty Lo, to chat up

girls, u know!

The Billy PEE wondering how he came to be at this

fishing club?

Russell wishing he had one of these devices to assist with removal of Brian from his boat.

Not all Waidrokians are as butt ugly as Mr.

Jungle Fever

7. Edumucation Committeea.The Big C presented us with a training session on fishing with SOFT PLASTIC Lures. An

overview of their historical development for Bass fishing to all time classics as “Mr. Twister”. They are a jig head (with weight) and hook inserted into a soft plastic lure, and rely on their very interesting motion through the water to attract the fish.

b.Most fish hit from the head first (opposite direction of their victim’s sharp spines), except Tuna. They will get hit on the fall or on the bottom. As you go deeper (180m plus deep) you will need to use the bigger ones. The various coloured ones are to there to catch the fishermen.

c. There was lively debate about the usefulness of plastics at great depths, as it was considered by many that smell from the bait was more useful than the motional vibration of the Soft Plastic lures (colour irrelevant at great depths or at shallow depths at night).

d.The Big C emphasized the importance of inserting the jig hook correctly otherwise you will not achieve the desired motion in the lure. If the tail is bitten off then replace the plastic otherwise you will not catch anything else due to no motion.

8. Fishing TaleS

Forgotten why I have this “rubber” in my hands

The quality notes of The Donno.

A Big story equals little fish caught!

Gary showing how he put the woop ass on

Loren!

Conducting an orchestra or employing Italian hand

communications?

a.Jay criusing inside the reef with Susan in his oversized canoe with 2.5HP ventured into the mangroves where he delightedly caught a Trevally with a black and white popper. Made excellent fish tacos. He has been dissuaded from eating the many little Barracudas caught due to possible Ciguatera (even little ones may eat a Ciguatera ridden reef fish).

b.Gary was with Loren and learned a “new” fishing technique called “popping” and caught a snapper, but this Canadian is used to sideways casting with one hand and a cold beer in the other whilst lounging in a reclining chair. There seemed to be a suggestion of the Loren being outfished/outclassed and in Loren’s absence we were all ready to believe this animated tale. However, doubts were sown when Gary inexplicably admitted to showing up at said fishing trip with a slab of brewskies and fishing gear that can be best described as the winnings from a gumball machine!

c. Slim Shady and Pistol Pete declined to give up any of their fishing experiences and instead regaled us with a show tune “one for the money, two for the show…”, leading us all to conclude that these two fisherman were “away with the fairies” or into sniffing glue rather than having any secret ace fishing spots.

d.Nathan convinced (brainwashed?) by an overly enthusiastic Ben, decided to go Swordfishing at 2000 ft with their very expensive, recently purchased electric reels and caught what Renee usually catches (zippola). They used 5 to 10 kg weights (lost a few of these because the 30lb mono leader snapped on deployment), and put many holes in their boat. Suffice to say that their commitment exceeded their fishing capability and it is back to the drawing board for them with a more calculated judicious research of the tips provided on the internet.

e.Ben wearily offered up “shit tonne of fish” as his contribution and when pressed for details as to where, indicated East Beqa, which is understood code for any where but!

f. Russell regaled us with a tale that centered around taking young Brian fishing as a repayment for an enormous, monumental, humongous debt to be repaid to “Nick?”. The night was, well, dark!, and stormy, and maybe accounted for the numerous holes the young angler (hulking teenage brute) put into the boat. He caught a Snapper (“anytime you don’t know what the hell kind of fish it is, it is called a Snapper”), and also caught a trevally and a few other fishies.

g.The Donno reported no fishing due to no boat, no know how, no good weather leading to The Sarah’s photographic documentation of some strange “Here’s Johnny” behaviour out in the Waidrokian jungle.

“This big, seriously!”

Evangelical Slim Shady providing his rendition of

praise the Lord.

h.The Big C – no story supplied, no fishing expertise shared, but, we did manage to steal some recent pictures from his blog, which show the Big C has stealthily taken his new motor and some very lucky Twisted Leader members out fishing with his usual success.

Nice size Brassy T on light gear, proof, as

requested by Brian, that he is actually catching

fish and not buying them along the road and bringing them on

the boat.

Using a small Williamson Vortex jig and an assist hook.

Some suspicions are held as to whether the tackle info provided is accurate or attempts by the Big C to clear out some slow moving stock from his shop.

Gary?? – The single WORST quality photos

ever submitted!

SOON Yee’s turn with the Lucanus Jigs

Bubbz nailed this little Mackeral with a

Lucanus Jig

A junior burger GT

The Big C’s boat looking good.

That caterpillar seems to have gone!

The SOON Yeelooking good?

John with reefy fishy

The Rosie showing this fish is only worthy of one hand!

Damned if the fish can be spotted for those blue lips

Markey with one of his small catches.

Another Walu by Cherie, or is she

holding up Markeys?

...and from our members overseasSome GREAT photos from Paul “Pablo” Blakely, who has been busy working as a fly fishing guide back in the USA. No explanation was provided as to the presence of Jomu the Bear.

“Bula to all my "twisted friends", Well you wanted fishing photos, so for the last couple months I have been fishing, almost every single day, on the Rogue River here in Oregon for steelhead with flies. Fishing was good this season, lots of big fish. The season is pretty much over now. It is cold here now, can't wait to be back in

Paradise. I'll see you all in early Feb next year. The attached photos are of some of my happy clients and their fish. Till then, be well and happy all. Have fun, enjoy yourselves.”

And back in Australia...

9. HOT TIPSa.The Donno whilst talking to an over juiced Mr. Jungle Fever himself at the Music Festival,

mentioned that if you spotted two individual small Black birds skimming low on the water away from other birds, get in front of them and you will catch Mahi Mahi. (Not sure how you do this unless you have twin 250’s and a shit load of fuel, and whilst chasing these birds down, Mr. Jungle fever is behind you catching all the fish whilst you provide the distraction!)

b.Another of The Donno’s hot tips, on the inside of the reef of incoming tide, find a deep pool and pop away, where you will catch heaps of Blueies feeding.

c. The BIG C had two, 1)take Rosie and 2), if you see White Birds inside the reef, guaranteed there will be Trevally.

d.Ben mentioned in his beered up drawl that if anytime you spotted “goggled eyed?” “fish?” on the surface of the water, throw a popper and you will guaranteed catch a GT every time (or in this club, at least feed ‘em a lure).

10.Other Newsa.The New Twisted Leaders Lycra long sleeve Rash Shirts put together by the SOON Yee

has hit a major snag – (the company doing the T Shirt “sublimation” has gone or is about to go belly up, so we don’t want to cough up 80% deposit, but want to pay COD). A dye “Sublimation” printer is a computer printer which employs a printing process that uses heat to transfer dye onto the T Shirt. The sublimation name is applied because the dye transitions between the solid and gas phases without going through the liquid stage (for those who really needed to know).

b.The Wayne showed off his finely made GAF, constructed of aluminium and stainless steel, which will be available at the Tackle shop for around $50 to $100 standard model. Custom lengths etc will be available too.

c. The Billy PEE has small submersible penlights (Halogen?) for sale at Longo’s Dive shop.

d.FAD – Fish Aggregating Device or “Fish Mall” as the Billy PEE came to our aid to assist in our understanding of this for attracting the fish from far below. I’m damned if I understood why the hell we need one of these when we have a big FAD in the reefs, but sure I will be edumacated over a Kava bowl in the future. The Big C looking for sponsors for the FAD.

NICK (good man! provides the details we seek!): Snapper, Port Phillip Bay Melb, 3 kg finns braid main line, 6 kg

Berkley Vanish leader, Worm lure from Callan's shop rigged on a 1/0 worm

hook with a running quarter ounce ball sinker. Sperm sample in the mail.

Bec’s fish always look better than The Nicks!

11.Treasurer’s ReportAccording to the Big C, The Renee is “allegedly” hastily spending the club proceeds at a ski resort in the US somewhere, as she believes the US$ currency will soon be worthless as is the “full faith and credit” of the US. However, unlike other members, the Donno has full “FAITH” in the Renee returning with the Club proceeds plus additional hefty investment dividend returns. The Billy PEE quipped that “the sanctuary of the weak is faith”, and “You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it”. (He may have been paraphrasing Samuel Butler here?)

A reminder that new membership fees are due (US$ NOT accepted).

12.Meeting ended at 9.15 pm whereupon members stumbled out howling at the moon and following their pack leader back to the tackle and meat shop.

PLEASE NOTE. Next meeting is Friday the 9th December 2011 at 7.30pm

DISCLAIMERIf something in these minutes offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all collectively heap scorn and derision on you. My sense of humour may hurt your feelings, I suggest you drink a bowl of grog and get over it. Members and other unauthorized recipients are advised to be ATTENDANT at the meeting in order to establish the veracity and accuracy of these minutes. The author is not liable for any libel arising from any inaccuracies and flagrant distortions of the observable truth, due in part to the possible onset of dementia, short attention span, and effects of Grog on this sub prime crusty old fart. I also appear to be going deaf, so PLEASE SPEAK UP !! Any miss spelt words and/or bad ‘grama’ and/or piss poor punctuation - tell it to someone that cares. (maybe The Rosie, who it is known, likes to listen to drawn out tales of woe and self-regret).

The Donno - Twisted Leaders Secretary

Future office bearers?

“In Renee We Trust”