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10 Relationship Tips EveryoneForgets 1. Let go of old wounds through forgiveness. Every moment of your life you are either growing or dying – and when you are physically healthy, it’s achoice, not fate. The art of maintaining happiness in your life and relationships relies on the fine balancingact of holding on and letting go. Yes, sometimes people you trust (including yourself) will hurt you. Beinghurt is something you can’t avoid, but being continuously miserable is always a choice. Forgiveness is theremedy. You have to let go of what’s behind you before you can grasp the goodness in front of you.  

2. Come clean when you make a mistake. An honest heart is the beginning of everything that is right with this world. The most honorable people of allare not those who never make mistakes, but those who admit to them when they do, and then go on and dotheir best to right the wrongs they’ve made. In the end, being honest might not always win you a lot offriends and lovers, but it will always keep the right ones in your life.

3. Stop gossiping and start communicating.  A good rule of thumb: If you can’t say it to their face, you shouldn’t say it behind their  back. As EleanorRoosevelt once said, ―Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discusspeople.‖ Life is much too short to waste talking about people, gossiping, and stirring up trouble that has nosubstance. If you don’t know, ask. If you don’t agree, say so. If you don’t like it, speak up. But never judgepeople behind their back.

4. Give others the space to make their own decisions. 

Stop judging others by your own past. Never act, judge, or treat people like you know them better than theyknow themselves. They are living a different life than you are. What might be good for one person may notbe good for another. What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better.Allow the people in your life to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.

5. Do things that make YOU happy. If you want to awaken happiness in a relationship, start by living a life that makes you happy and thenradiate your happiness into your relationship. If you want to eliminate suffering in a relationship, start byeliminating the dark and negative parts of yourself, and then radiate your positivity into your relationship.Truly, the greatest power you have in this world is the power of your own self-transformation. All the positivechange you seek in any relationship starts with the one in the mirror.

6. Show your loved ones your kindness in small ways every day.  Aesop once said, ―No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.‖ Nothing could be closer to the truth.Always be kinder than necessary. You never know what someone is going through. Sometimes you have tobe kind to someone, not because they’re being nice, but because you are. Too often we underestimate thepower of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

7. Say less when less means more. It takes some courage to stand up and speak; it takes even more courage to open your mind and l isten. Payattention and be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble. The people in your life often need alistening ear more than they need a rambling voice. And don’t listen with the intent to reply; hear what isbeing said with the intent to understand. You are as beautiful as the love you give, and you are as wise asthe silence you leave behind.

8. Let your love and trust overpower your fear. You never lose by loving; you lose by holding back. No relationship is impossible until you refuse to give it achance. Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to. Without this trust, arelationship cannot survive. You cannot just believe what you fear from others; you have to believe in thegood faith of others. If you are ever going to have someone trust you, you must feel that you can trust themtoo.

9. Accept, don’t expect. Unconditional acceptance is something we want, but rarely ever give out. Remember, people never doanything that is out of character. They may do things that go against your expectations, but what people doreveals exactly who they are. Never force your expectations on people, other than the expectation that theywill be exactly who they are. Who they are is not what they say or what you have come to expect, i t is whothey reveal themselves to be. Either you accept them as they are, or you move on without them.

10. Let the wrong ones go. 

Know your worth! When you give your time to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of

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your heart you will never get back. All failed relationships hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t appreciateand respect you is actually a gain, not a loss. Some people come into your life temporarily simply to teachyou something. They come and they go and they make a difference. It’s perfectly okay that they’re not inyour life anymore. You now have more time to focus on the relationships that truly matter.

Afterthoughts Remember, even the healthiest relationships have small flaws. Being too black and white about the qualityand health of a relationship spells trouble. Accept the fact that there will always be difficulties present, butyou can still focus on the good. Instead of constantly looking for signs of what’s not working in yourrelationship, what you need to do is look for signs of what is, and then use this as a solid foundation to buildupon.

 © Marc and Angel Hack Life 

24 Ways to Brighten Your

Morning 1. Go to sleep with your blinds or curtains halfway open. That way, the natural light of the rising sun willsend a signal to your brain to slow its production of melatonin and bump up its production of adrenaline, asignal that it’s time to wake up. When the alarm goes off, you’ll already be half awake. Even better: Go tobed early enough so that waking up when the sun shines through your window still gives you therecommended seven hours of shut-eye. If you maintain this routine, it’s likely that you can start relying onyour biological clock rather than an alarm clock.

2. Set your alarm 15 minutes earlier. This way, you don’t have to jump out of bed and rush through yourmorning. You can begin your morning by lying in bed, slowly waking up. Stretching. Listening to the newsheadlines. Mentally clicking off what you’re going to wear, what you’re going to do, what you’re going to

have for breakfast. It’s just as important to prepare yourself mentally as physically for your day. These fewminutes in bed, before anyone else is up, are all yours.

3. Stretch every extremity for 15 seconds. Try this even before you open your eyes. Lift your arm andbegin by stretching each finger, then your hand, then your wrist, then your arm. Then move on to the otherarm. Then your toes, feet, ankles, and legs. Finally, end with a neck and back stretch that propels you out ofthe bed. You’ve just limbered up your muscles and joints and enhanced the flow of blood through your body,providing an extra shot of oxygen to all your tissues.

4. Stick a chair in the shower and sit in it. Use one of those plastic chairs you can buy at any hardwarestore. Let it warm up under the spray for a minute, then sit in it and let the spray beat on your back. It’ssimultaneously relaxing and energizing, like getting a water massage. After a couple of minutes, you canswing the chair out of the way and commence withwashing.

5. Read a motivational quote every morning. This can provide a frame for the day, a sort of self-talk thatkeeps you motivated in the right direction as opposed to the negative thinking of the morning news. Anotheroption: Use a motivational mantra that provides a meditation-like burst, or read or recite a poem that helpsyou focus. A good one to use: Rudyard Kipling’s ―If.‖ 

6. Take a vitamin. Keep a multivitamin out on the kitchen counter right by the coffeepot so you remember totake one every morning. More than 20 years of research led to a major recommendation in one of thecountry’s premier medical journals suggesting that every American take a multivitamin as part of a healthylifestyle.

7. Eschew any decisions. For truly relaxing mornings, reduce the number of choices and decisions youmake to zero. Go about this two ways: First, make your morning decisions the night before: what clothes towear, what breakfast to eat, what route to take to work, and so on. Second, routinize as much of yourmorning as possible. Really, there’s no need to vary your breakfast, timetable, or bathroom ritual from one

morning to the next.

8. Cuddle with your kids. Few things are more stressful in the morning than waking up an overtired fifthgrader or a snoring high schooler. Yet this is one of the few times you can catch your child still vulnerable.Sit on his bed and gently smooth his hair as you softly waken him. Or, if you’re dealing with a very youngchild, lie beside him and gently hug him awake. Such a moment wil l send a quiet surge of joy through yourentire day and will become all too rare in all too short a time.

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9. Spend 5 to 10 minutes each morning listening to music or sitting on the deck or porch justthinking. This allows the creative thinking that takes place during the night to gel and form into a plan ofaction, grounding you for the day.

10. Wake to the smell of coffee. Really great coffee. Buy the absolute best coffee you can afford — freshbeans are preferred — and put twice the amount you’ve been using into your coffee maker, the one youbought specifically because it has an alarm that can be set to start brewing times. The strong scent of strongcoffee will pull you out of bed like a fishhook in the back of your pajamas. Plus, if you’re going the caffeineroute, morning is the best time for it. Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant that acts in many wayslike other stimulant drugs such as amphetamines, waking you up and increasing your muscular activity.Even better: A study of 18 men found that caffeine improved clear-headedness, happiness, and calmness,as well as the men’s ability to perform on attention tests and to process information and solve problems. 

11. Brush your tongue for one minute. There’s no better way to rid yourself of mor ning breath and beginyour day minty fresh and clean. After all, more than 300 types of bacteria take up residence in your mouthevery night. You think a quick brush over the teeth is going to vanquish them all?

12. Take a baby aspirin. There. You’ve just significantly reduced your risk of a heart attack. In one study of220,000 doctors, those who took an aspirin every day for five years slashed their heart attack risk nearly inhalf. Of course, check with your doctor first to make sure this is okay for you.

13. Use real sugar in your coffee, or drink a cup of orange juice.  When researchers at the University ofVirginia tested the memories of healthy 60- to 80-year-olds, they found those who had a small amount ofsugar in the morning (the experimenters compared sweetened to unsweetened lemonade) even beforebreakfast had better memory recall that day on into the following day. We’re talking small amounts, however,about a teaspoon or less; so put down that doughnut.

14. Check your morning calendar. This is the large calendar or white board you’ve hung in a prominentposition in your kitchen. On it, you write everything you need to know for that particular day, from kids’activities to whether the guy is coming to service the furnace to whether it’s time to pay bills. Check it outcarefully while you sip that first cup of coffee or morning tea; it will help you structure your day in your mindand avoid the stressful effects of forgetting something important.

15. Swallow 500 mg of calcium citrate. Your body is better at absorbing this form of calcium than the othercommonly used form, calcium carbonate, found in antacids like Tums and Rolaids. You’ll need at leastanother 500 mg before you go to bed.

16. Drink eight ounces of water. You’ve been fasting all night and you wake each morning dehydrated.

17. Create a checklist for your kids. If you don’t have kids, skip this one. But if you do, this is a biggie. Tocut down on morning chaos, hang a white board in the hallway or kitchen and list all the things that must bedone before the kids can leave: brush teeth, eat breakfast, get backpack together, make bed, and so on.Have them check off or erase each item once it’s completed. You can do the same thing with lists printedout from your computer. Set aconsequence: If all items aren’t checked off 5 minutes before you need toleave, there’s no TV, PlayStation, dessert, or computer time that night. 

18. Keep a wicker basket for yourself and each child by the front or back door. Into it go your keys,

wallet, purse, and the child’s backpack, papers, gloves, hats, etc. This will prevent that frantic last-minutescouring of the house as you look for lost items.

19. Split up in the morning. That means you use one bathroom and your partner uses another. Even i f youare still madly in love, bathroom time should be private time. It makes for a calmer, less stressful start toyour day.

20. Wash more efficiently. We spend an average of about 12 minutes in the shower. That’s fine whenyou’re preparing for date night. But in the morning, you need to get in and out quickly. If you’re not intoshowering the night before (we do understand about bed head) try using two-in-one products like a cleanserthat both cleans and moisturizes or a combination shampoo and conditioner. When you wash your body, justhit the hot spots, i.e., your groin and underarms. Everything else can just be rinsed off. The health benefit:reducing stress by saving time.

21. Prepare an emergency outfit in your closet. Include socks, jewelry, hose, etc., so on those morningswhen you sleep through the alarm or simply need an extra 10 minutes, you can just pluck it off the hangerand go.

22. Dry more efficiently. Start with an oversized, 100 percent cotton bath sheet for maximum blotting.Towel-dry your hair and let it air-dry while you do your makeup or put on your underwear. Then, if you use ablow-dryer, make it a high-energy one, at least 1,600 watts. Anything else is just wasting precious time.

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23. Hop on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Studies find that people who work out in the morning are morelikely to stick with their exercise regimen because they get it out of the way and don’t have all day to comeup with diversions and excuses. Plus, you will produce endorphins that will last most of the day.

24. Kiss all the people you love in your house (including the dog and cat) before youleave.Connecting with the ones you love soothes stress and provides you with a positive start to your day,as well as keeping you focused on what’s really important says therapist Barbara Bartlein, L.C.S.W., authorof Why Did I Marry You Anyway? 125 Strategies for a Happy Marriage.

 © Reader’s Digest Asia