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Catalina Petrescu

Dr. Robert Murdock

ENGL 2089

8 November 2015

The Petrescu Family: Collections of Perseverance and Independence

First, I was a Romanian. Then, I became an American. These two identities clash and

intertwine to create a person filled with the character her parents taught her of Romania and the

modern generational traits that come with being a late Millennial in 2015 America. The identity

of an immigrant relies heavily on his or her family, the year when they emigrated, the reasons

behind it, and the other family members traveling as well. My immediate family is all I have.

Because Romanians usually have about one child, my father only has one sister and my mother

is an only child. Romanian families are small in immediacies but vast in depth. Although we

traveled here alone without any grandpas or cousins, my father has a series of three great-aunt

and great-uncles that were already in Michigan before we came here. We see them about once

every year or once every two years, as we unfortunately settled in Ohio and some relatives are

kinder than others. Being a somewhat isolated family forced us to rely on each other in a way

that made us stronger. This made my parents my biggest influencers. The character of my

mother, father, sister, and brother are shown through this collection of stories that reveal intense

or mild interactions they each had with the rest of the world, whether as a family or as an

individual. Stories about the Petrescus reflect the identities of immigrants across America and the

world which focus on the themes of strength, perseverance, and independence. Connections will

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also be made between these biographical tales and how relationships, generations, and traits vary

based on immigrants versus natural citizens.

First of all, what is identity? At the very beginning of the year, in our “Who Am I?”

discussion boards I said that identity changes with every group. I am a worker for UC but I am

also a student at UC. Some identities are also conflicting. I am an animal lover, yet I have eaten

at Wendy's. I am a woman, but I am not a Hilary Clinton supporter. Identity can be as simple as

seeing UC students who are from Findlay and feeling a connection to them, even if I pass

without saying hello. I think that individuals are composed of multiple identities that make up

one person who fits into several different groups yet not entirely into one at the same time. Some

of these stories about my family reflect the identities of my parents, and some of them reflect the

identity of myself or even of Romania.

Lesson Learned

The greatest life lesson I ever learned was when I was ten years old. One day I’d come

home from school with my report card. It was the first nice day in February which didn’t make

Winterhaven Street such a “winter” haven.

I walked home as slowly as possibly, drinking the air for as long as I could. I came into

the house proud to show my mother my straight A’s. “Good job,” she remarked, and turned back

to trimming the purple flowers by the windowsill.

“Mom,” I asked timidly, “everyone in my class gets things for their grade card like

money or a treat. Can’t you give me a dollar or something?” Mom turned to me sternly. “Those

grades are for you,” she spoke quietly but still loudly enough for me to hear her Romanian R’s

rolling off her tongue. “The biggest reward you can get is the one you give yourself. Everything

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you do is for yourself. Those grades don’t affect me; they belong to no one but you.” I

understood her point immediately. It never bothered me again.

Many things never bothered me again as I took that philosophy and transformed it into

my own. My mom was right. I was always fiercely independent but ever since third grade I went

even further. My parents never knew what homework I had because I did everything assigned on

my own. I was the one pushing myself in harder classes while having a job, playing tennis, and

volunteering 5 hours a week. This independence has made me passionate for my future from an

early age and has led me to many goals and accomplishments.

This kind of self-sufficient identity is one that is a major part of my family. We are on

our own here and not only did my mother show me that a person is responsible for their own

failures and accomplishments, she also showed me independence is a fantastic gift you can give

yourself. By not having to rely on others, it’s easier to go through life on your own path, not

worrying when someone is going to help you, or questioning how to do things. It is better to

figure out how to do it yourself. Moving away and starting college for example is a big leap for

every single student. If anyone says it wasn’t hard at one point or another, they are lying. The

kind of environment I grew up in really helped me once I got to Cincinnati. The book Global

Perspectives on Well-being in Immigrant Families by authors Bender, Dimitrova, Radosveta, and

Fons provides a very useful insight as to the different levels of socialization and culturalism in

immigrant families. This book has cases upon cases of evidence in different countries from all

over the world about the different factors in the well-being and identity of an immigrant family.

One case I want to point out is about Albanian immigrants who move to Italy. Interestingly

enough, all the studies in this book pay particular attention to the youth in these families. These

studies reported that the immigrant children were at the same levels of happiness and depression

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as other children who are native Italians. In the parents, however, it was found that they are not

as happy as the natives. As far as identity goes, it can be easier for children to adapt to a new set

of discourses because they are still developing. It makes sense that the parents, already

developed into their own identities, would have a harder time socializing in these countries.

Winding up in Italy

In 1989, there was a Romanian Revolution to overthrow the communist government. It

was the last country to convert to a form of modern democracy from the Warsaw Pact, and it was

the only country to violently overthrow its ruler and execute him. My father says that’s because

we had the worse one. My mother, Clara, was walking the downtown streets of Bucharest with

her friend Vali, during this revolution. She was 22 years old. As they walked passed Romanian

Orthodox cathedrals and store-fronts boasting early 1990 fashion trends, there was chaos. People

were running through the streets, and in the confusion Clara and Vali came upon a soldier.

Because the government worked closely with military to keep order in a communist regime, it

was the military that was fighting back against protesting civilians. This solder stood in front of

my mother and pointed a gun to her head. She froze. As the officer was about to shoot, Vali

stepped in front of my mother and took a bullet to the chest. As the soldier ran and my mother

called for help, their lives were immediately changed. Vali survived and was sent to a hospital in

Italy. This is how my parents came to live in Italy for seven years, because they visited Vali in

that hospital and liked Rome that much. A few years later, Petra, my older sister would be born

there.

The idea of a better life is not one lost on the rest of the population of Romania.

Researcher Cristina Elena Bradatan published a very useful study that compressed the numbers

of Romania emigrants. On her third section of her report and page 370 of the journal, she wrote,

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“Romania has the largest rate of emigration among East European countries and there are

estimated to be between two to three million Romanian emigrants from a country that had 19

million people in 2011 (Romanian National Institute for Statistics). As most of the Romanian

emigrants go to European Union countries, Romanians are the second largest migrant

community in the EU (after Turks) (Vasileva, 2011).” This story’s theme of “getting out” and

striving to find a better life is one essential to my family’s identity. Bradatan also mentions that a

significant number of Romania families emirate without their children (more people leave

without their children than with their children). This is something that I have seen firsthand. My

godmother left the country when her daughter was 17. This may seem sad or shocking, but it

relates to the independent nature of Romanian people. Also, some people refuse to leave

Romania so when their family leaves, they stay behind. This is the case with my last surviving

grandmother.

Left, left, left, right left

In Communist Romania, it was mandatory for men to serve in the military. My father was

no exception and spent 18 months training, shooting, and doing all the things he was told to.

Although Bogdan called home a few times, he only sent a letter to his mother once. And he

wonders where I get it from. In his training he threw grenades, guarded territories, and prepared

in case anything were to happen. My parents grew up with this forced service, so they took it as a

natural part of their society. However, that did not mean they agreed with it. Bogdan remarks

that he is lucky it was not a time of war and mostly just stringent training. There are many

different sections that the young men could have been sent to. He was sent to the station where

they train guards to protect certain military sites. Apparently this was one of the worst places he

could have gotten sent to. The reason for this, is that the soldier who was stationed on guard was

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not allowed to let anyone through. Anyone. Occasionally, an officer or squadron leader would

come by to test the guard. My father strictly emphasized that you were not to let anyone through.

The tester would come up to the guard and talk to him, telling him who he was and saying he

needs to come through. Guards for those stations held loaded rifles for these kinds of instances.

“You were supposed to tell him no,” my father said, “And if he came again you were supposed

to point your rifle at this person, even if he was the head of the Soviet Union, or your own

general. You needed special papers to be allowed through.” “How did you stop them if they

would just walk through?” I asked. “You were supposed to shoot him,” he replied. “No matter

who he was, you were expected to put a bullet through him if he wouldn’t stop on your

command.” He told me that being a guard was one of the worst jobs because the tests were rare

but everyone was afraid of them. The times they tested were always at night, in the cold, and

were horrifying. My father refused to tell me what would happen if you failed the test. Because

of this, I am unsure if something worse than a dishonorable charge would ensue.

This story deals with the atmosphere that makes it easy for Romanians to leave their

home country. Although never “easy” leaving behind your family, friends and entire lives, it is

essential when the government of a country is too corrupt to lead a good life there.  What is

interesting about second-generation immigrants is this line from Kwak in her “Adolescents and

their parents: A review of intergenerational family relations for immigrant and non-immigrant

families” journal article, “As the length of residence increases, immigrant parents are more likely

to have children born in the new society of settlement; these second-generation children will

acquire their ethnic heritage through their parents and relatives in a familial context and to a

varying degree through their own ethnocultural network but no longer through the larger

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society.” This is true for my brother, who has a very different outlook than the rest of us, seeing

as how he is already a different level of immigrant just by being born here.

Because she wanted to go

Clara Petrescu is an only child. Although her home was composed of her, her mother, and

sometimes a dead-beat stepfather, she had a lot of family. Aunts, uncles, and cousins surrounded

my mother her entire life. They called her by her middle name, Simona. She was always visiting

the countryside and staying weekends over at her aunt Dadica’s apartment. When my mother

was about 12 years old one of her cousins was getting married in the countryside. She

desperately wanted to go, but her mother told her there was no more room in the car. Frustrated

to be left home alone, Clara left their apartment and took a train and two buses to the wedding.

Her family was happy to see her, albeit a bit shocked. My mother is one to take charge and get

whatever she wants through dedication and a strong will.

That strong will is what got us to America. The theme here is that people who feel the

need to leave their country will do so by any means necessary. Ignorance comes from people not

understanding the desperate need for a new life. Journal of Community Positive

Practices published an article by Monica Paduraru that states, “The migration phenomenon has

stirred controversy not only in political circles, but also at societal level, at interpersonal level,

causing physical and emotional fractures between communities, friends and families.” Robila

and Piperno also back up this idea that the vast departure of a record number of Romanians over

the past 20 years has left damaging effects for the rest of the country.

A lack of paper

When my parents lived in Italy for 7 years, they lived illegally. Clara and Bogdan had no

papers. Upon arrival to Rome they interacted with a couple who owned a hotel near the city

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square and started working for them. My parents stayed in the hotel for free and received small

wages. Although my parents were friends with their employers, Clara says, “They treat you like

slaves because you have no papers. You just work and work and they know they don’t have to

pay you much because you’re illegal.” That’s why my parents chose America. They won visas

through a lottery system that the government was having and our name was drawn. My parents

wanted my sister and I to have a better life and the opportunity for a better education. Even with

that reason, my parents claimed the visas on the last possible day. My father turned to my mother

and said, “Well, are we going or not?” It was her call. “Yeah, I guess. Yes let’s go.” So we flew

from Bucharest to Paris to Chicago in 1997 and stayed in Michigan for a month, settled in

Findlay, OH.

My parent’s purpose in coming to America was for a better life. However, they did not

want to give up their culture and the very identity that made them special. In the book

Immigration and the family: research and policy on U.S. immigrants, the concept of “bicultural

families” is explained as the collaboration of two cultures into one family’s unique identity

(Booth, Crouter, and Landale). This applies to my family because we are a bicultural family. We

hold the identity that combines two cultures, American and Romanian. My parents speak to my

sister, brother, and I in Romanian and we reply in English. We have adapted to our surroundings.

In the International Migration Review, Maria Medvedeva dedicated research to howl language

affects immigrant families. One section in particular hits home for me, “If parents speak English

well, it is inconsequential for communication purposes which language the child speaks. The

primary constraint on effective communication comes, however, if the parent is better at

communicating in the native language than in English and the child is undergoing intense

English-language socialization at school and feels less comfortable with the native language. As

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the child’s English-language assimilation progresses, there may come a time when the parent

feels compelled to switch to English when speaking to the child, even though the parent may

continue to speak to his or her spouse in their native language. (Mouw and Xie, 1999, 245).”

This exact thing has happened in my family. As a small child my sister and I were in ESL. When

we first came here we did not know a word of English. As we got older we slowly stopped

speaking Romanian to our parents and it soon became difficult to communicate with relatives

over the phone. We can still understand 90% of the spoken language, but have a hard time

coming up with the words to reply. This, to me, is very saddening. My parents also stopped

talking to us in Romanian and once my brother was born, who is 12 years younger, we had a

hard time deciding which langue to use around him. Even so, Luca did not start speaking until he

was over four years old.

“This doesn’t happen in America”

The Romanian word for father is tati. Mother, mama. The slang for grandfather is tataie

and for grandmother, mamaie. Technically Romanian translates to “pops” in English. This is

what my siblings and I call my grandparents. Mamaie is all that’s left. They never spoke English.

When I was younger, Tataie visited us for a few months. He came in the fall of 2001. As the

terrorist attacks of 9/11 were shown on the television, my whole family watched with grieving

sympathy. Tataie kept saying over and over again that, “This is America. These kinds of attacks

are not supposed to happen here.” He could not believe even in escaping communism, the world

his family was in still contained horror.

This story has the major theme of perseverance. No place in the entire world is perfect,

not even Singapore with the highest level of living in the world. Resilience against corruption,

adversity, and hardships is not only a trait of Romanians and my family but also one of America.

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This same resilience against adversity is shown in first generation immigrant youth. This study

elaborates on the difficulties that I had as a child in the American school system. My older sister

is only a year older than me, so we struggled to learn it together. My parents had a hard time

understanding the way they taught and functioned and so it was up to my sister and I to figure it

out for all of us. We didn’t have any role models to ask how to join clubs or what you needed to

do to get into college. This is another reason why I have always been self-sufficient, because my

parents simply could not help me sometimes. In fact it is through Petra and I that our parents

learned English because we came home with the knowledge from school. Empirical Research

houses an article by Fuligni and Camacho which addresses the issues of the disadvantage that

immigrant children have in this school system. They write, “Importantly, our results suggest that

first generation youth who participate in extracurricular activities show greater advantages in

terms of their GPA. Previous studies have found that, although they tend to be very motivated in

their studies, immigrant youth do not always have access to the knowledge required to

successfully navigate the American school system (Pong et al. 2005; Sua´rez-Orozco and Sua

´rez-Orozco 1995). Our findings suggest that extracurricular activities can be a very valuable

resource for first generation immigrant youth.” This article also addresses that extracurricular

activities in immigrants correlate to an increased chance of higher education and the generation

of more revenue as they progress. Dr’s. Adendorff and Halkias also discuss the factors that

immigration has on personal family finances in their book, Governance in immigrant family

businesses: enterprise, ethnicity and family dynamics. They mention the statistic, Conservative

estimates put the proportion of worldwide business enterprises owned or managed by families at

65%. The importance of family businesses to the economies of both developed and developing

countries cannot be ignored.” This deals with my parents’ ideas for a better life. My mother

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became a nurse after completing her associate’s degree and my family runs a small speaker

business on the side of a blue collar job. Dr. Adendorff and Halkias connect the increase in

immigrant small business owners to the rising economy. “A better life” for many people means

more income or the opportunity for more income (Katz). For my parents that was also true.

My family is not the only whose immigration story revolves around strength and

independence. They are, however, the basis of this project. Through the stories I have portrayed

here I hope you have an understanding of what it means to be a Petrescu as well as factual

knowledge about the benefits and detriments to being an immigrant. The identity of myself and

my family are listed in the pages above, with our language shifting within the stories of a

Romanian beginning. Tracing the border lines between country to country revealed the

connections between the themes I have delineated and differences in the traits and generations of

the immigrant.

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Works Cited

Bender, Michael, Dimitrova, Radosveta, Vijver, Fons J. R. van de,Ohio Library and Information

Network. Global Perspectives on Well-being in Immigrant Families. 1 Vol. New York:

Springer, 2014. Web. 8 Nov. 2015.

Booth, Alan, Ann C. Crouter, and Nancy Landale. Immigration and the Family: Research and

Policy on U.S. Immigrants. Mahwah, N.J: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1997. Print.

Bradatan, Cristina Elena. “The Interplay between Family and Emigration from

Romania.” Migration Letters 11.3 (2014): 368. Print.

Fuligini, Andrew J., and Daisy E. Camacho. "Extracurricular Participation Among Adolescents

from Immigrant Families." Journal of Youth and Adolescence 44.6 (2014): 1251-262.

Web. 8 Nov. 2015.

Halkias, Daphne, Christian Adendorff, and Inc ebrary. Governance in Immigrant Family

Businesses: Enterprise, Ethnicity and Family Dynamics. Farnham, Surrey, UK: Gower,

2014. Print.

Medvedeva, M. Negotiating Languages in Immigrant Families. International Migration Review.

University of Chicago. 2012. Print.

Paduraru, Monica Elisabeta. “Romania – Emigration’s Impact on Families and

Children.”Journal of Community Positive Practices 14.1 (2014): 27. Print.

Petrescu, Bogdan. Personal interview. Nov 2015.

Petrescu, Clara. Personal interview. Nov 2015.

Piperno, Flavia. “The Impact of Female Emigration on Families and the Welfare State in

Countries of Origin: The Case of Romania.” International Migration 50.5 (2012): 189-

204. Print.

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Robila, Mihaela. “Parental Migration and Children’s Outcomes in Romania.” Journal of Child

and Family Studies 20.3 (2011): 326-33. Print.

Suarez-Orozco, Carola, and Marcelo M. Suarez-Orozco. Transformations: Immigration, Family

Life, and Achievement Motivation among Latino Adolescents. Stanford, Calif: Stanford

University Press, 1995. Print.

Katz, Vikki. “Children as Brokers of Their Immigrant Families’ Health-care Connections”.

Social Problems 61.2 (2014): 194–215. Web.

Kwak, Kyunghwa. "Adolescents and their Parents: A Review of Intergenerational Family

Relations for Immigrant and Non-Immigrant Families." Human development 46.2-3

(2003): 115-36. ProQuest. Web. 9 Nov. 2015.