use strong active verbs unbury verbs disguised as nouns use active voice use the dependent clause...
TRANSCRIPT
Use strong active verbs
Unbury verbs disguised as nouns
Use active voice
Use the dependent clause
Avoid over use of prepositional phrases
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Type Definition Sample
simple sentence(independent clause)
One complete thought with subject (noun) and predicate (verb).
Our team completed the project.
compound sentence(2 independent clauses)
Two complete but related independent clauses joined by a conjunction.
The team was challenged, but we were happy with the results.
complex sentence(independent clause and a dependent clause)
An independent clause and a dependent clause. A dependent clause has a noun and verb, but cannot stand alone.
When we finished the project, we held a team party.
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Avoid weak verbs. They convey practically no sense of action do, make, perform, have forms of the verb to be (is, was)
Avoid nouns that are really verbs in disguise Substitute verbs that create a clear sense of action
At the core of every good sentence is a strong, precise verb.
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Make a recommendation Recommend
Formulate an argument
Arrive at a conclusion
Argue
Conclude
Disguised verbs get buried in the sentence:
The manager came to the realization that telecommuting made sense.
The manager realized that telecommuting made sense.
TipLook for words ending in tion or ment. Could they be converted to verbs?
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Frisky ate my homework. (4)
My homework was eaten by Frisky. (6)
Frisky = Doer / subject of sentence
ate = Active Verb
homework = Object of action
homework = Object as subject
by Frisky = Doer object of preposition
was eaten = passive verb
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The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon’s fiery breath. (10)
The technicians demanded longer coffee breaks. (6)
The explosion was caused by a kerosene lamp. (8)
The dragon’s fiery breath scorched the metropolis. (7)
The technicians demanded longer coffee breaks.
A kerosene lamp caused the explosion. (6)
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To emphasize the recipient of an action
To de-emphasize negative news
T0 conceal the doer of an action
An investigation was launched. (by accounting).
Cash refunds cannot be made. (by us)
An error was made in our sales figures.
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Active voice – less tactful Passive voice – more tactful
We cannot grant you credit. Credit cannot be granted.
The CEO made a huge error in projecting profits.
A huge error was made in projecting profits.
I launched a successful fitness program for our company last year.
A successful fitness program was launched for our company last year.
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A dependent clause… Highlights the importance of something Links ideas together Shows how ideas are related
Start with a subordinating conjunction or relative pronoun
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So Where Before
Although Than Though
After Since When
Because As Whereas
If Unless until
While
Who What Which
That Why How (many)
Subordinating conjunctions
Relative Pronouns
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The project was not completed on time because the machine parts were stolen.
If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
A helium nucleus has two protons whereas hydrogen has only one.
Energy supplies will dwindle unless we conserve.
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in progress on the floor beside the garage between the cities of data-processing
equipment to a Martian by walking on hot coals for the people
Less informative alternative to dependent clause
Treat all ideas as grammatically equal – No discrimination– No emphasis among
qualifying details
Reader is left to interpret what you are trying to say
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In their specifications for engine parts, titanium is often requested by engineers because of its resistance to the effects of high temperatures. (6)
Because titanium resists high temperatures, engineers often request it in their engine part specifications.
• dependent clause• active voice strong verb • only 1 preposition