© 2008 vernā myers consulting group, llc. do not reproduce without permission. facilitated by...

© 2008 Vernā Myers Consulting Group, LLC. Do not reproduce without permission.

Facilitated by Vernā MyersPalms Spring, CAFebruary 5-7, 2009

All Women Lawyer’s Retreat

Retreat Objectives

• Continue to build community among women attorneys at the Firm

• Identify issues impacting women attorneys at the Firm

• Update participants regarding the Firm’s women’s initiatives and obtain their input on improving the Firm’s diversity efforts

• Enhance women attorneys’ ability to succeed professionally at the firm

• Improve women attorneys’ leadership, mentoring, and professional and business development opportunities and skills

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• Try On• Okay to Disagree• No Blame, Shame, or Attack- yourself or others• “Ouch”• Keep a Self-focus• Practice “Both/And” Thinking• Maintain Confidentiality

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Discussion Guidelines

Learning Leadership

Understanding Leadership

• Leadership is not about a title• It doesn’t matter your level in the firm, there are situations

where you are taking on a leadership role - even in a peer to peer situation

• Leadership should not only be about how we get people to do what we want, but how:– We manifest our values as we lead– How our example of leadership transforms our organizations for the

best

• Leadership is not only about personality• Good leadership can be learned• Leadership is distinguished from management

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Leader v. Manager

LEADER

• Vision• Influence• Govern by Principles• Empower• Long Term• Taking Risk• Rethinking• Letting Go• Crisis• Potential• Dreams

MANAGER

• Version • Authority• Govern by Fear• Control • Short Term• Minimizing Risk• Reorganizing• Taking Charge• Stability• Performance• Duties

Professor David Hall, Northeastern University School of Law

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Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and Leadership

• The ability to manage ourselves and our relationships effectively

• 4 capabilities and a set of competencies for each capability:– Self- Awareness– Self- Management– Social Awareness– Social Skill

Daniel Goleman

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Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and Leadership

• The most successful leaders have strengths in:– Self-awareness– Self-regulation– Motivation– Empathy– Social Skill

Daniel Goleman

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6 Leadership Styles

1. Coercive leaders - demand immediate compliance

2. Authoritative leaders - mobilize people toward a vision

3. Affiliative leaders – create emotional bonds and harmony

4. Democratic leaders – build consensus through participation

5. Pacesetting leaders – expect excellence and self-direction

6. Coaching leaders- develop people for the future

Daniel Goleman

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Organizational Climate and Leadership Style

• Individuals impact the organizational climate (by how well they motivate, make decisions, manage, handle crisis, set a clear vision, etc.)

• Organizational climate influences financial results (nearly 1/3)

• Authoritative style has the most positive effect on organizational climate; Affiliative, Democratic and Coaching styles are close behind

• Leaders who have a positive effect on the climate outperform leaders who lack emotional intelligence

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Daniel Goleman

Flexibility and Improvement

• Master as many styles as possible

• Do not rely on one style exclusively

• Ask yourself what style would be best to address the demand or the particular situation

• Switch styles as conditions require

• Styles can be learned and improved by growing one’s EQ- focus on improving the competencies associated with each style

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Daniel Goleman

Women and Leadership Styles• “People associate women and men with different traits and

link men with more of the traits that connote leadership…”– Agentic v. communal– Double-bind – too assertive/not assertive enough

• “Research tells us not only that men and women do have somewhat different leadership styles…”

BUT• “…women’s approaches are the more generally effective –

while men’s often are only somewhat effective or actually hinder effectiveness.”

• “Women adopt a more participative and collaborative style than men typically favor.”

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Alice H. Eagly and Linda L. Carli, “Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership,” Harvard Business Review, Sept. 2007

Women and Leadership Styles, cont’d

• As women navigate the “double bind,” women are finding ways to project authority without using the autocratic ways that people find unsettling when women use them

• “However, if there is not a critical mass of other women to support the legitimacy of a participative style, female leaders usually conform to whatever style is typical of the men- and that is sometimes autocratic.”

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Alice H. Eagly and Linda L. Carli, “Women and the Labyrinth of Leadership,” Harvard Business Review, Sept. 2007

The Mckinsey Quarterly, September, 2008

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Women and Financial Performance

• “A number of studies in the U. S. and Europe suggest… that companies with several senior level women tend to perform better financially.”

• McKinsey study shows:“First, companies around the world with the highest scores on nine important dimensions of organization- from leadership to accountability and motivation- are likely to have higher operating margins than their lower-ranked counterparts do.Second, among the companies for which information on the gender of senior managers was available, those with three or more women on their senior-management teams scored higher on all nine organizational criteria than did companies with no senior-level women.”

“Center Leadership” – Thriving

McKinsey Leadership Project: A study of more than 85 women around the world who are successful in diverse fields – Interviewed a “few good men” also– Consulted leading academics

“What drives and sustains successful female leaders?”

“Centered Leadership” emphasizes the role of POSITIVE EMOTIONS and draws on positive psychology

The McKinsey Quarterly, “Centered Leadership: How talented women thrive,” 2008

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“Center Leadership” – Negative Emotions

Different challenges and emotions for men and women in the workplace

Women:• Can more often opt out of the workplace• Contend with the double burden of motherhood and

management - drains energy in a particularly challenging way

• Encounter “double bind – “prescriptive” and “descriptive” bias – same behavior judged differently and negatively

• Experience more emotional ups and downs more often and more intensely than most men do


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“Center Leadership” – 5 Dimensions

1. Meaning- Contribute to something bigger than yourself – Happiness, Signature strengths; Purpose

2. Managing Energy- Look for what energizes– Minimizing depletion –throwing in the towel too soon

3. Positive Framing- Believe that you can manage the challenges and move to action– Self-awareness; Learned optimism; Moving on

4. Connecting – Broaden it out; Make it personal– Network design; Sponsorship; Reciprocity, Inclusiveness

5. Engaging – Create your own luck– Voice; Ownership; Risk-taking; Adaptability


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Succeeding in a Majority Organization

Modern Bias

• Dysfunctional Rescuing• Blaming the Victim• Avoidance of Contact• Denial of Differences• Denial of the Political,

Economic... Significance of “ISMs”

• System Beating• Blaming the System• Anti- Avoidance• Denial of Differences• Lack Understanding of

Political... Significance of “ISMs”

Internalized Bias

VISIONS, Inc. ©1999

“Isms”= racism, sexism, etc.

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Tools/Alternative Behaviors to Modern Bias

• Functional Helping• Problem Solving• Mutual Contact• Recognizing Differences• Recognizing the

Political... Significance of Differences

• Dysfunctional Rescuing• Blaming the Victim• Avoidance of Contact• Denial of Differences• Denial of the Political,

Economic... Significance of “ISMs”

These Behaviors Instead of These Behaviors


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Tools/Alternative Behaviors Internalized Bias

• Confront/Stand Up• Own Responsibility• Sharing Info. from our

Diff.Cultures• Recognizing Differences• Sharing Information on

the Impacts of Differences

• System Beating• Blaming the System• Anti- Avoidance• Denial of Differences• Lack Understanding of

Political... Significance of “ISMs”

These Behaviors Instead of These Behaviors


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Other Skills for Working Successfully in a Majority Organization

• Be aware of your own lens- strengths and challenges• Examine your assumptions• Use the guidelines• Use your target and non-target identities to understand other

targets and non-targets• Look for commonalities- initiate relationships across difference• Be proactive in getting work• Look for opportunities; read what is going on • Ask questions when you don’t know

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Other Skills for Working Successfully in a Majority Organization, cont’d

• Don’t hide- use your difference to your advantage• Develop relationships with a variety of people for advice,

support and mentoring inside and outside the firm- “board of advisors”

• Participate in organizations and activities (inside and outside the firm) that develop your professional and personal interests

• Be careful not to spend too much time on non-billable work at the expense of billable projects

• Stay connected to your community and family

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Interrupting Bias and Stereotyping

Addressing Bias Issues

• Good will toward people• “I am right”• YOU took it wrong!• Not responsible • Does not learn from interaction

• Feel the pain – hurt regardless of intention• Triggers reaction• Left to deal with it on own• Bias continues to affect others

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Interrupting Bias and Stereotyping

1. Remember to follow discussion guidelines2. Use a tone of voice that is welcoming and non-

judgmental3. Treat the person with respect4. Give attention to the person who is making the remark5. Use humor6. Ask a question7. Explain why the comment is troubling to you - Use an “I”

statement8. Offer a different point of view9. Practice, practice, practice

Addressing Bias Issues Works Doesn’t Work

A tone of voice that is

welcoming and non-judgmental; Ask a question Treat the person with respect Explain why comment/behavior

troubled you Use “I” statement Let the other person talk Listen, listen, listen Use humor Offer another point of view Acknowledge intent and

talking about the effect

Avoidance Attacking Side Conversations Misinterpreting Pulling a fast one Using Internalized Bias Taking advantage to

bring up more – not

related to the situation Using “but” to make your point

over their point

Adapted in part from Visions, Inc. and The National Coalition Building Institute.

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An Ally Is:

• One with whom you unite or form a connection or relationship -- based on kinship/friendship

• One who takes an active stand on another’s behalf

• One who offers support in a way that creates a sense of belonging, a sense that you are not alone

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Being an Ally

• Be a champion

• Listen as an ally

• Partner across differences

• Share information

• Collaborate

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First They Came for the Jews

First they came for the Jewsand I did not speak outbecause I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communistsand I did not speak outbecause I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionistsand I did not speak outbecause I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for meand there was no one leftto speak out for me.

Pastor Martin Niemöller

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Spectrum of Responses to Bias

ActivelyBiased

PassivelyBiased

ActivelyAnti-Biased

Influence without Authority:

Using Reciprocity and Exchange to Get What You Need

Allan R. Cohen and David R Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005

The Law of Reciprocity

• How can you influence those over whom you have no authority?

• You need resources that the person wants so that you can trade them for what you want

• Reciprocity is based on the principle of “give and take” or “one good (or bad) turn deserves another”

• It is a natural EXCHANGE that happens all the time whether you notice or not

• Concept is simple, the process may not be

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“Influence without Authority,” Allan R. Cohen and David R. Bradford, Journal of Organizational Excellence/Winter 2005

The Influence Model

“A careful diagnosis of the other’s interests’, assessment of what resources you possess and attention to the relationship”

Use the influence model when:• The other person is known to be resistant

• You don’t know the other person or group and are asking for something that might be costly to them

• You have a poor relationship (or are part of a group that has a poor relationship) with the group the other person belongs to

• You might not get another chance

• You have tried everything you can think of but the other person still refuses what you want

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Assume All are Potential Allies

• Resist temptation to “write them off”

• Seek overlapping interests – is an alliance possible?

• Don’t assume other person will be an adversary; it leads to:

− Bias and stereotyping

− Misperceptions and miscommunication

Becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy

• Even if the person is your manager- the goal is to make the relationship mutually beneficial


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Clarify Your Goals and Priorities

• What are your goals?

• What are your short-term v. long-term objectives?

• What are the “must-haves” v. “nice to have”?

• What is the priority?

– A particular form of cooperation on specific item or would you settle for a better relationship in the future?

– Is a short term victory worth the creation of hard feelings, or is the ability to come back to the person in the future more important?


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Diagnose the World of the Other Person

• What drives what he or she cares about?

• You may be able to ask directly, if not examine the ally’s

organizational situation– How is the ally evaluated and rewarded?

– What is his expectations?

– Where is she in her career?

– What are his personal career goals?

– What pressures and demands is she encountering?

• Understanding the pressures can help you avoid “demonizing”

and see a potential ally


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Identify Relevant Currencies• Two meanings

– Something of value that you can trade for something you want

– What your potential ally wants –there will be some things your ally wants that you can’t offer

• Your ally’s currencies– What they care about– Accept, don’t judge

• Most people underestimate their own currencies – jump the conclusion that they are powerless


Your Currencies

• Get work done well and quickly• Transfer information or

messages to others• Defend reputation to others• Give recognition, praise• Show appreciation• Show respect• Be understanding• Listen• Help out• Provide personal support

• Show interest and curiosity• Help to avoid a misstep• Give information they have

less access to• Make introduction to someone

they are interested in• Give access to a group• Show support

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Negative Currencies

• Escalating to a higher level

• Going public with lack of cooperation

• Yelling

• Withholding payments

• Quitting


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Relationships

What is the nature of your relationship with the person: positive,

neutral, or negative?• If negative in the past, proceed with caution- you will have to build the

requisite trust and credibility

How does the person want to be related to?• Exchanges not in a vacuum• Prior contacts or reputation• Build up a bankroll of relationships• Be generous and genuine • Respect how ally wants to relate – not how you like to relate


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Determine Your Trading Approach

• Your approach will be shaped by:− The attractiveness of your resources− The ally’s needs − Your desire for the ally’s resources− Your relationship with the potential ally− His/her preferred style of interaction− Your willingness to take risks− Your firm’s culture & expectations


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Outcome of Exchange: Task and Relationship -- Both are Critical

There is the work at hand and the nature of the relationship

• Don’t ignore history – most often it affects the discussion• Consider future risks- winning the battle but losing the war• Build on trust – can’t be perceived as too calculating; influence

over time goes to those who have the welfare of others in mind; self-seeking behavior create enemies

• Give to get – mutuality; be generous; do what you say• Foster relationships before they are needed –early and often• Pay attention to process • Have a bias towards positive exchanges


The Law of Reciprocity

1. Think of the people with whom you have relationships? Of these, from whom do you need things?

2. What kind of things do you find yourself wanting and needing from others?

3. What kind of reasons do they give for not giving what you need?

4. What type of currencies might you have to offer to them?

– What is important to them?

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Conclusion

• View everyone as a potential ally

• Assess your currencies

• Build up influence credits

• Become aware of/accept others’ currencies

• Leverage your allies

Vernā Myers Consulting Group, LLC

73 Chestnut Street

Newton, MA 02465

617-559-9800 (phone)

617-558-5578 (fax)

www.vernamyersconsulting.com

http://www.vernamyersconsulting.com/

© 2008 vernā myers consulting group, llc. do not reproduce without permission. facilitated by...

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