You have 2 cows, You have 2 cows, and you give one and you give one

to your neighbour. to your neighbour.

You have 2 cows. You have 2 cows. The State takes The State takes

both and gives you both and gives you some milk. some milk.

You have 2 cows. The You have 2 cows. The State takes both and State takes both and sells you some milk.sells you some milk.

You have 2 cows. You have 2 cows. The State takes The State takes both and shoots both and shoots

you. you.

You have 2 cows. The State You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, takes both, shoots one,

milks the other, then milks the other, then throws the milk away... throws the milk away...

You have two cows. You sell You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them economy grows. You sell them

and retire on the income. and retire on the income.

You have two cows. You sell You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to one, and force the other to

produce the milk of four cows. produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to Later, you hire a consultant to

analyze why the cow has analyze why the cow has dropped dead. dropped dead.

You have two cows. You re-engineer You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat them so they live for 100 years, eat

once a month, and milk themselves. once a month, and milk themselves.

You have two cows. You You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a go on strike, organize a

riot, and block the roads, riot, and block the roads, because you want three because you want three

cows. cows.

You have two cows. You redesign them so You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary

cow and produce twenty times the milk. You cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image then create a clever cow cartoon image

called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide. called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

You have two cows, but you don't You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide know where they are. You decide

to have lunch. to have lunch.

You have two cows. You You have two cows. You count them and learn you count them and learn you have five cows. You count have five cows. You count them again and learn you them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you them again and learn you

have 2 cows. You stop have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. another bottle of vodka.

You have 5000 cows. None of You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge them belong to you. You charge

the owners for storing them. the owners for storing them.

You have two cows. You have 300 You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, that you have full employment,

and high bovine productivity, and and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported arrest the newsman who reported

the real situation. the real situation.

You have two cows. You You have two cows. You worship them. worship them.

You have two cows. Both You have two cows. Both are mad.are mad.

Everyone thinks you have lots of Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have cows. You tell them that you have

none. No-one believes you, so they none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the hell out of you and invade bomb the hell out of you and invade

your country. You still have no cows, your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a but at least now you are part of a

Democracy.... Democracy....

You have two cows, one French one You have two cows, one French one English, both want to have their own English, both want to have their own field. One cow gets ill, you wait for field. One cow gets ill, you wait for the authorities to pay for the vet to the authorities to pay for the vet to

come out.come out.

You have two cows. Business seems You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and pretty good. You close the office and

go for a few beers to celebrate. go for a few beers to celebrate.

You have two cows. Business was doing good, You have two cows. Business was doing good, but with foreign produce entering at the but with foreign produce entering at the cheapest prices ever, your livelihood is cheapest prices ever, your livelihood is

threatened. The government’s response has threatened. The government’s response has been: “don’t panic.”been: “don’t panic.”