www.timlebon.com presentation at oxford brookes university, june 9th 2006 1 wise coaching tim lebon...

www.timlebon.com Presewww.timlebon.com Presentation at Oxford Brookes University,ntation at Oxford Brookes University, June 9th 2006 June 9th 2006

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Wise CoachingWise Coaching Tim LeBon Tim LeBon

• Why Wisdom, and why Wise Why Wisdom, and why Wise Coaching?Coaching?

• Wise Therapy Wise Therapy • The The Wise TherapyWise Therapy Toolbox Toolbox• From From Wise TherapyWise Therapy to to Wise CoachingWise Coaching• What is Wisdom anyway? What is Wisdom anyway?

Philosophy+ Philosophy+ • The The Wise CoachingWise Coaching Toolbox Toolbox


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• Wisdom, encompassing both Wisdom, encompassing both theoretical and practical wisdom, theoretical and practical wisdom, has been said to be the pinnacle of has been said to be the pinnacle of human excellence.human excellence.

• Wisdom is more than a worthy goal Wisdom is more than a worthy goal –without it other values and virtues –without it other values and virtues may do more harm than goodmay do more harm than good

• It’s possible to be a wise coach and It’s possible to be a wise coach and to help your clients become wiserto help your clients become wiser

• Today I will help show how to do Today I will help show how to do this …this …

Why Wisdom?Why Wisdom?

Why Wise Coaching?Why Wise Coaching?


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• Plato’s Plato’s Euthydemus Euthydemus – Without wisdom, the – Without wisdom, the other virtues might even do us harmother virtues might even do us harm

“ “That would be a very That would be a very courageous decision, minister”. courageous decision, minister”.

• Are the foolish better off without courage? Are the foolish better off without courage?

• Could qualities like courage & self-confidence Could qualities like courage & self-confidence that are often thought to be desirable in that are often thought to be desirable in coaching may do more harm than good if not coaching may do more harm than good if not exercised wisely?exercised wisely?

Wisdom –not just a “nice to Wisdom –not just a “nice to have”have”


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• What are the wisest theories about What are the wisest theories about well-being, the emotions , right and well-being, the emotions , right and wrong and the meaning of life? wrong and the meaning of life?

• Given these answers, how in Given these answers, how in therapy can we best enhance therapy can we best enhance people’s well-being, emotional people’s well-being, emotional state, decision-making and state, decision-making and meaning?meaning?

• Output -> The Output -> The Wise Therapy Wise Therapy ToolboxToolbox

The The Wise TherapyWise Therapy Project Project


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The The Wise TherapyWise Therapy Toolbox Toolbox• Decision-Making Decision-Making PROGRESSPROGRESS• Values/Well-Being Values/Well-Being RSVP RSVP • Emotions Emotions Stoic Therapy, Stoic Therapy,

Existential AnalysisExistential Analysis

• Insights from philosophers Insights from philosophers

Bibliotherapy /introducing ideasBibliotherapy /introducing ideas

/guides for clients/guides for clients

• See See Wise TherapyWise Therapy for complete for complete toolboxtoolbox


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• All of these tools are relevant to All of these tools are relevant to Wise CoachingWise Coaching

• Example of Danny, who had been Example of Danny, who had been made redundant and was helped by made redundant and was helped by ProgressProgress

• Helping people find their path using Helping people find their path using RSVP [values clarification and RSVP [values clarification and beyond]beyond]

• Philosophy+: More tools for coachesPhilosophy+: More tools for coaches

From From Wise TherapyWise Therapy to to Wise Wise CoachingCoaching


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Wise Decision-Maker?Wise Decision-Maker?

• ““Big Phil” Scolari (a Brazilian football coach) Big Phil” Scolari (a Brazilian football coach) • Head-hunted by FA after he led teams that beat Head-hunted by FA after he led teams that beat

England in 2002 and 2004England in 2002 and 2004• Initially agreed to accept the lucrative post of Initially agreed to accept the lucrative post of

EnglandEngland• Changed his mind after a few days exposure to Changed his mind after a few days exposure to

the tabloidsthe tabloids


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Wise Decision-Maker?Wise Decision-Maker?

• William Hague, Conservative politicianWilliam Hague, Conservative politician• Made national news when spoke at Tory Made national news when spoke at Tory

conference aged 16conference aged 16• Was he wise to accept the Tory leadership Was he wise to accept the Tory leadership

in 1997?in 1997?


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Wise Decision-Making - Wise Decision-Making - MethodMethod

The 5 steps of Progress are:-

1) Understand the situation2) Understand what matters3) Search for options4) Evaluate options in terms of what matters5) Implement the decision

Each step is informed by philosophical ideas and methods such as critical thinking, theories of the emotions, thought experiments & ethical theories.


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Wise Decision-Making – Wise Decision-Making – Case Study Case Study [Danny as featured in The Observer][Danny as featured in The Observer]

1) The decision: Continue career in city after redundancy? The situation: Danny felt a range of emotions, include relief about being made redundant.

2) Danny explored what mattered most through a series of RSVP-like thought experiments Perfect Day Work/home balanceWho do you admire? Contact with ‘real’ people &

helping themRocking chair question Learnt skills & taken on

challenges Done something I am proud of


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Wise Decision-Making - Wise Decision-Making - Danny Danny [illustration of life coaching by Tim LeBon and David [illustration of life coaching by Tim LeBon and David

Arnaud using Progress Decision-Making Process]Arnaud using Progress Decision-Making Process]

3) Danny came up with a new option, teaching business skills & economics to sixth-formers

4) This option satisfied all of what mattered most

5) 1 year on, Danny teaches economics and loves it. “It’s a much better lifestyle”


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RSVP – Values Clarification and RSVP – Values Clarification and BeyondBeyond

• Exploring values a key element to help people find the right path

•Already a lot of good ideas in personal development/coaching books e.g. Covey’s funeral oration

•RSVP integrates a lot of good ideas and thought experiments about values into a comprehensive and philosophically robust method


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RSVP – The Good Life according RSVP – The Good Life according to philosophersto philosophers

• Epicurus – improve your state of mind – happiness, feeling good

Experience Machine objection – states of the world as well as states of mind are important

•J.S. Mill and the utilitarians – other people’s happiness matters

• Ancient Greeks (Aristotle, Stoics) – your character matters – what sort of person are you?


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RSVP – Coaching with Epicurus, RSVP – Coaching with Epicurus, Mill and AristotleMill and Aristotle

•J.S. Mill – What difference do you want to make to the world?

• Aristotle – What character qualities would you like to have?

•Epicurus – Design your ideal day in the Experience Machine

Pair up and pick one or more of above questions to work on to help clarify your values.


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RSVP – Intregrating what’s right RSVP – Intregrating what’s right in competing theoriesin competing theories

"If, as I believe, nearly all ethical theories contain some elements of the truth, the best way of constructing a viable one is to pick out the true elements in each and build them into one's own theory." (R.M. Hare )

Each of the 3 theories of well-being (Epicurean, utilitarian and Stoic) took as sufficient things that were instead necessaryIe a good life needs sufficient happiness, contributions and character.


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RSVP – Creative and Critical RSVP – Creative and Critical ThinkingThinking

•Creative Stage•Brainstorm candidate values

•Critical Stage•Is there anything missing?•Have you covered experiences, contributions and character?•Can your blueprint survive the following test…?


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Nietzsches’ Nietzsches’ Eternal RecurrenceEternal Recurrence TestTestWhat, if some day or night a demon were to What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.' never have I heard anything more divine.'

Friedrich NietzscheFriedrich Nietzsche


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Groundhog DayGroundhog Day

Would your values Would your values survive reliving over-and-survive reliving over-and-over again as in over again as in Groundhog Day?Groundhog Day?

What would What would youyou like your like your Groundhog Day to be Groundhog Day to be like?like?


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What is Wisdom anyway?What is Wisdom anyway?Philosophy+Philosophy+

a) Aristotlea) Aristotle

• Theoretical Wisdom (knowledge, including Theoretical Wisdom (knowledge, including knowledge of human nature, meaning and knowledge of human nature, meaning and what matters) what matters)

• Practical Wisdom (know-how and Practical Wisdom (know-how and understanding specific situations) understanding specific situations)

b) My Definition of Wisdomb) My Definition of Wisdom “Wisdom is the possession of knowledge

about what matters and deep understanding about the universe & the human condition and human nature, combined with good judgement and the disposition to put this knowledge into action”


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Dimensions of wisdomDimensions of wisdom

• Values Wisdom Values Wisdom

Wisdom about what matters Wisdom about what matters

• Practical Wisdom Practical Wisdom

Wisdom in actionWisdom in action

• Existential Wisdom Existential Wisdom

Wisdom about the universe & the human conditionWisdom about the universe & the human condition

• Emotional Wisdom Emotional Wisdom

Wisdom of the emotions, motivation and attitudesWisdom of the emotions, motivation and attitudes


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The Toolbox for Wise The Toolbox for Wise CoachingCoaching

1.Insights not 1.Insights not justjust from philosophers but from philosophers but from psychologists and personal from psychologists and personal development classics. We adddevelopment classics. We add

• Psychology esp. positive psychologyPsychology esp. positive psychology– E.g. coaching people to achieve flowE.g. coaching people to achieve flow

• Self-Help Classics – client guidesSelf-Help Classics – client guides

e.g. Stephen Covey, Bertrand Russell, e.g. Stephen Covey, Bertrand Russell,

Viktor Frankl, Daniel GolemanViktor Frankl, Daniel Goleman


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Life Coaching TopicsLife Coaching TopicsSuggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Suggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford

Brookes, June 2006Brookes, June 2006

• Letting Go- Frankl, Zen, children and Letting Go- Frankl, Zen, children and animals – modelling attractive examplesanimals – modelling attractive examples

• Responsibility/dutyResponsibility/duty• StressStress• Life balanceLife balance• MeaningMeaning• Emotional awareness –labelling feelingsEmotional awareness –labelling feelings


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Life Coaching TopicsLife Coaching TopicsSuggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Suggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford


• AssertivenessAssertiveness -negotiation skills, -negotiation skills, communication skills,courage – ASSERTIVE communication skills,courage – ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION Back & BackCOMMUNICATION Back & Back

• Self-awarenessSelf-awareness• Self-confidenceSelf-confidence• FulfilmentFulfilment• Authenticity- being open, facing life – Authenticity- being open, facing life –

stories, religions, fairy stories, filmsstories, religions, fairy stories, films


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Life Coaching ResourcesLife Coaching ResourcesSuggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Suggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford


• Go Mad! Go Make a Difference - Andy GilbGo Mad! Go Make a Difference - Andy Gilbertert

Theme: Improving performanceTheme: Improving performance

• Assertive Communication - Back & BackAssertive Communication - Back & BackTheme: assertiveness/saying noTheme: assertiveness/saying no

• The Power of Talking - Deborah The Power of Talking - Deborah TannenTannenTheme: Women dealing with “powerful” menTheme: Women dealing with “powerful” men

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0953728420/qid=1149955689/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_18_1/202-7455124-9381414







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Life Coaching ResourcesLife Coaching ResourcesSuggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Suggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford


• Buddhism Without BeliefsBuddhism Without Beliefs - Stephen - Stephen BatchelorBatchelor• Dalai Laama (e.g. Book of Wisdom)Dalai Laama (e.g. Book of Wisdom)Themes: fulfilment/work-life balance/stressThemes: fulfilment/work-life balance/stress

• Krishnamurti (e.g. Total Freedom)Krishnamurti (e.g. Total Freedom)Themes: Challenging the selfThemes: Challenging the self

• Lesley Garner -Everything I’ve ever done that Lesley Garner -Everything I’ve ever done that workedworked

Themes: comfortable in own skinThemes: comfortable in own skin


http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0891061231/202-7455124-9381414


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Wise Life Coaching BooksWise Life Coaching BooksSuggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford Suggested by participants at Wise Coaching seminar, Oxford


• Now, Discover Your StrengthsNow, Discover Your Strengths Marcus Buckingham, Marcus Buckingham, Donald O. CliftonDonald O. Clifton

Theme:Self-awarenessTheme:Self-awareness

• JaworskiJaworskiTheme:AuthenticityTheme:Authenticity

• CoCo-Active Coaching --Active Coaching - Laura Whitworth, Henry Kimsey- Laura Whitworth, Henry Kimsey-House, Phil Sandahl (esp. chapter on “The Gremlin)House, Phil Sandahl (esp. chapter on “The Gremlin)

Theme:Building self-esteemTheme:Building self-esteem


http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1576750310/qid%3D1149956770/202-7455124-9381414




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Wise CoachingWise Coaching

THANK YOU

For further information see http://www.timlebon.com

E-mail: [email protected]

Wise Therapy is available from http://www.amazon.co.uk

http://www.timlebon.com/



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www.timlebon.com presentation at oxford brookes university, june 9th 2006 1 wise coaching tim lebon...

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