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Insightful Informative Inspirational Inclusive

AugustMagazine2013

WIPP 2013 Member Survey: What Business

Women Want

Home Family Life Enjoy Soul Politics Economy Digital Impact Community

August -Believe You Will be Successful Do Business and Forgiveness Ever Go Together? Who are Your Five-to-Thrive? 10 Steps to Being Assertive Without Being Aggressive

Copyright 2013 Women’s Voices Media, LLC - All rights reserved.

1 COVER WIPP 2013 Member Survey: What Business Women Want4 HOME My Voice

7 Congratulations, Dawn!8 Plant Doctoring is Fun

10 A Guide to Finding New Art for Your Home13 FAMILY My Voice

14 We Need More Dustin Hoffmans16 CEO of Sanity Incorporated18 It’s OK to Ask Questions - Early and Often20 My Birth Mother Search Next Step, I Hired a P.I.24 A Family Law Saga of Arrogance27 LIFE My Voice

28 A Mindful Summer30 Which Traits are Being Passed on to Your Children?33 Making a Case for Nothing

35 Preventing the First Date Fiasco37 Mexico Misconceptions, Trust the Local People40 The Meaning of Life41 ENJOY My Voice

44 Mall Pretzels: A Copycat Recipe46 Time For A Rant48 A Wine with Real Character51 August’s Full Cart of “Firsts”54 SOUL My Voice

55 Join Me on My New Adventure57 Do You See Miracle People in Your Life?59 Tips to Keep Your Pets Cool This Summer61 August - Believe You Will be Successful64 POLITICS My Voice

65 Economic Recovery - Around the Dinner Table

CONTENTSAugust 2013

Connect With Women’s Voices Magazine:

CONTENTSContinued

70 Right View - Implications of Delaying Obamacare72 Left View - Employer Mandate Importance74 Compromise - What’s Next for the ACA Employer Mandate?

76 ECONOMY My Voice 77 Do Business and Forgiveness Ever Go Together?80 Who are Your Five-to-Thrive?83 What does it Really Take to be a Successful “Woman Business Owner?”86 Welcome to the Club!88 An Entrepreneur? Who You?90 Do You Make These Business Owner Mistakes on Your Website?94 DIGITAL My Voice

95 Apps for Women: Real or Tongue-in-Cheek?98 Networking Around the Globe

100 Could You Go 7 Days “IRL” Only?102 IMPACT My Voice

103 Write Down What You Want105 Do We Become Orphans After our Parents Pass?107 Female Executives Lead American Senior Communities Centers 109 Stand Up For What You Believe In

111 10 Steps to Being Assertive Without Being Aggressive113 Sleeping Beauty in America115 COMMUNITY My Voice

116 Think About Kids After-School Program Sign-up Now118 A Little Piece of Home for Our Troops

120 COMMUNITY Listings

Note: Underlined Articles are included in this Preview Edition of our Magazine

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WIPP 2013 Member Survey: What Business Women Want

Business Women Speak Out on the IssuesBy Brenda Krueger Huffman

The voice for women in business in our nation’s capital, Women Impacting Public Policy, Inc. (WIPP) is a national nonpartisan public policy organization advocating for and on behalf of women and minorities in business in the legislative processes of our nation, creating economic opportunities and building bridges and alliances to other small business organizations.WIPP is headquartered in Washington D.C. with a membership office in San Francisco. It has within its ranks Republicans, Democrats and Independents, liberals, conservatives and every variety of opinion.WIPP surveys its membership on a regular basis to determine which issues are priority issues for them, and they maintain issue committees to review options and alternatives and to advise on legislation which meets the needs of its membership. In order to further their objectives, WIPP maintains relationships with all Congressional members, as well as the incumbent Administration, regardless of political affiliation, and scrupulously maintains its nonpartisan approach.

WIPP recently released their 2013 survey “What Business Women Want.” The annual national survey conducted in April, 2013, identifies key economic issues affecting WIPP’s membership and provides guidance on the importance of policy issues relative to their businesses. WIPP Co-Founder, CEO and President Barbara Kasoff noted, “Our annual survey of WIPP members provides insights into the current economic environment and the issues important to women-owned firms that should be addressed by Congress and the Administration.” Legislative and regulatory changes that support a small business-friendly tax code, secure retirement savings and provide access to capital are at the top of the policy issues identified in the survey. The top seven issues ranked by survey participants are: the economy, healthcare, procurement, access to capital, energy, telecommunications and export and trade. What are the top three main topics WIPP sees trending with members in getting to a more robust economic recovery environment for business owners?

COVER 1

COVERInterview

Kasoff

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Kasoff provides, “Access to public sector contracting; access to capital and affordable health care.”Much has been reported and analyzed in the media of late about the pending implementation of Obamacare and its effects on job creation and employment in the private sector. How do WIPP members see the coming Obamacare mandates and penalties affecting business owners? Are they concerned about this? Kasoff details, “More firms are offering health care insurance to their employees than in previous years. WIPP members are business women, so they care much more about the effectiveness of the new marketplaces than political posturing.”“The fact of the matter is the current health insurance system does not work for small businesses. It is too expensive, and the choice in plans is very limited, so they welcome the possibility of finding better options through the new law.”“With respect to employer penalties, there is no requirement to offer insurance and no penalties for firms with less than 50 employees. For those firms over 50 employees, they will be assessed a penalty if one of their employees gets assistance with their premiums from the government, and they do not offer insurance.”Kasoff concludes, “Those have been delayed until 2015. No one is anxious to pay a penalty but we are hopeful that the new marketplace will offer affordable options for these firms.” Does WIPP see Obamacare, even with the employer mandate delay to 2014, having an adverse effect on hiring decisions for full-time employees? Kasoff offers, “Public policy drives business decisions. We see that in the tax code, and surely business owners will make decisions based on what makes sense for them.”She continued, “We are advocating for a change in the law that would consider full time workers

as 40 hours rather than the 30 hours this law put into place. Senator Susan Collins introduced this bill recently and deserves our support.”Cautious optimism about the economic outlook was top of mind for the respondents. Three- quarters of the businesses interviewed assigned the highest possible importance rating to the economy, making it the single most important category investigated. Respondents reported employee headcount per company is up, to an average of 20 full time and 10 part time employees with 64% expecting to increase the size of their company in 2013. 27% of the membership report revenues up to $5M (up 21% in 2012), and 19% report revenues from $5-$20M (up 11% from 2012). WIPP survey highlights include: 25% of respondents are federal contractors

and the Department of Defense is their biggest buyer.

29% of businesses are currently certified WOSB/EDWOSB, and the largest NAICS Codes qualifying under the WOSB program was Management, Scientific and Technical Consulting Services.

Additional education on the Women Owned Small Business (WOSB) procurement program is important.

More than half of those not currently registered as WOSB or EDWOSB say they are not aware of the program or of the registration process.

Government regulations are seen to have significant impact on 88% of the companies interviewed.

Tax code revisions treating business deductions and credits equally regardless of legal structure are now supported by over half of the respondents, consistent with 2012 results.

Access to capital continues to plague women business owners. The perception of tightening of bank credit keeps better than

COVER 3

one in four from seeking outside funding. 60% report they were successful in seeking

funding after an average of two attempts, and only 32% of minority owned companies successfully obtained capital.

Those seeking funding are more likely to be federal contractors with revenue over $250,000.

Companies offering health insurance have rebounded from a low of 48% in 2012 to 58% in 2013. 94% of companies with revenues above $5 million offer health coverage.

Staying competitive is the reason most often cited for offering health insurance.

Tax credits for providing employee health insurance are not well understood, and one-third feels they need more information.

Exporting represents a huge opportunity for growth. Fewer than 18% currently export a product or a service to another country.

However, more than 29% have considered or will consider exporting as an additional part of their company goal.

33% are very interested in WIPP’s new EXPORTNOW program.

Concern over fuel prices as an impediment to business growth rose from 2012.

Women business owners are very engaged with new developments in technology, with 90% reporting they try to stay abreast of innovations that could be incorporated into their companies.

70% use social media, 80% mobile devices and website management tools, and use of cloud computing has significantly increased.

Were there any survey results that surprised WIPP’s Barbara Kasoff? Kasoff affords, “Maybe not surprised but delighted. We were thrilled to see our members are actively engaged in advocating for WIPP’s policy agenda with their Congressional

delegation.”“The survey showed that when they became engaged, they became empowered and continued their engagement with their elected officials.” She advises, “Women business owners will change the political landscape by advocating on their own behalf and other women businesses in every District and every state.” WVM asks, “What do most business owners wish Washington D.C. politicians understood better about their needs to run a successful business?” Kasoff observes, “There are really two things: First, it’s hard to do a 5 year business plan with uncertainty about the tax code, government spending, and other policies that small businesses depend on.”“Washington has gone to short term extensions which create uncertainty in the business sector. Businesses are holding off on purchasing other businesses or buying new equipment, because they have no idea of the tax treatment with respect to these investments.”“This year there are 6 tax deductions/credits expiring that affect small businesses and no one really knows the future of the extensions. That presents a real problem.” She extends, “Second, the partisanship in Washington is taking its toll on the optimism of business owners and consumers. It is not creating a healthy business environment.”Kasoff affirms, “Our members want Congress to know successful businesses collaborate and work with each other, and Congress should emulate these strategies.”WIPP’s advocacy work is conducted on behalf of its direct membership, its 70 coalition partner organizations and its total reach extends to over one million women business owners. Women’s Voices Magazine is a WIPP coalition partner. For more detailed survey results, please click here. Study design and analysis support contributed by AllPoints Research, Inc.

2 COVER

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somewhere nearby, and prices are often much lower if you buy directly from the source. Little or no overhead equals no middleman mark-up in your cost. Even though some artists can be quirky or overvalue their work, overall, I prefer to buy local and direct.

Art galleries are great places to get exposed to all kinds of art. Though some pieces can retail for tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars, I love viewing original art, learning about artists and exploring mediums.

You usually pay more for artwork in galleries because of the mark-up (galleries often receive half of the purchase price), but the brick-and-mortar establishments need to pay their bills, and sharing artists with the public is a valuable interface.

I enjoy visiting galleries, though some artwork is like a spirited racehorse, I prefer to admire it from afar. Just because I appreciate something doesn’t mean I want it in my home.

For paintings and other two-dimensional art, expect to see oil (the king of painting mediums and centuries old), acrylic (a relative newcomer to the art world), mixed media (can include any material), photography (silver prints as well as digital work) and more. Artists are always coming up with new ways to use materials.

Prints can be mass produced (including print-on-demand digital computer copies, common these days), hand-printed originals or a combination. Giclee is a term for a high-quality computer copy.

Standard photocopies from a home printer often fade quickly, so ask about the printing process. If I like the piece, and it’s under $20, I might even buy a photocopied version if I will hang it in an area without a lot of sun (like my bathroom) or frame it behind glass which

blocks some harmful UV light.

With so many variables, it can be hard to know what you are getting, so buyer, beware. Never buy art solely because it’s a bargain unless you intend to sell it for investment purposes only, and you or your advisor have solid experience with investing in art for profit.

There are many reproductions and fakes out there, and even the best art dealers sometimes buy artworks they later regret.

There is nothing wrong with buying a good reproduction. I would rather have a copy of a famous painting than an original of something mediocre, but you need to know what you are buying.

If a piece is behind glass, ask the artist to take it out so you can see its condition. Is it an original? Can you see brush strokes or other indications of its originality?

If it is supposed to be new, is the paper or canvas intact and unblemished? If it is a

A Guide to Finding New Art for Your Home

Monica Hagen

Art in the Home

10 HOME

It’s time to freshen up a room, and you want to incorporate new art into the space. How do you find the perfect piece?

Art can be found almost anywhere! Think of the process as a treasure hunt and take your time.

First, set a budget and decide what type of art and size you want. If you need help deciding, search online. You can browse day or night, examine various types of art, research artists and compare prices.

Start with art websites like Etsy, iStockphoto and Art.com. Buy with caution though. If you find something you like, measure your display area carefully to make sure the art fits the space.

Know your source, and only buy from a trusted company. Also, pay close attention to shipping methods, charges and insurance. A $20 poster can end up costing you twice as

much or more once you add extra fees.

Though there is more variety online, I prefer to meet the artists and buy from people in my hometown at co-ops or weekend shows. Artists may be painting on site, and you can learn more about them and their work. This always brings personal value to the piece.

Once when I visited Bazaar del Mundo in San Diego during one of their famous art fairs, I watched a young man from Oaxaca, Mexico, paint a carved cottonwood folk art coyote. As he added dashes of paint to the coat to make

it look like fur, I watched and was mesmerized. I decided I had to purchase this piece.

I loved how they shaped the wooden form to flow with motion and how the paint brought out its character. Several decades later, it is still one of my favorite finds. It still makes me smile.

Help your local artists. There are always talented people

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reproduction, how lightfast is the ink? How thick is the paper, condition of the canvas, or strength of the frame backing? Beware of warped canvas frames, for they may not sit against the wall properly.

Is the work “good?” If you like it, who cares! With experience you will notice things like perspective, depth, color balance, symmetry and other aspects than enhance or detract from a piece.

Right now, keep to your budget, and buy what you love.

Do not be afraid to browse through previously-owned art. Estate sales and consignment stores often have nice pieces stacked against the wall, hidden by mirrors or odd paintings created by the owner’s great-nephew. Enjoy the hunt!

In life, red is where the eye goes first, then yellow. Decide if you want vibrant art or more soothing pieces.

Do you want two-dimensional art, like paintings, prints or other wall art? Or does sculpture, ceramics, glass or other 3D art attract your attention?

Beautiful, odd, or any other items that delight you are fair game as art. Antiques qualify, as

do children’s art, old toys and even car parts. I have a friend who uses metal gears as flower stands, moveable sculpture and for many other uses. Creativity is your only limit. Take the time to look around and see how you can use things in surprising new ways to create inexpensive focal points for your home.Often you cannot tell if art will work in a room until you place it there and see it at all times of the day, in varying light, and with other items such as furniture, wall size, ceiling height, etc.Many galleries and retail stores offer a return policy on art, so if you try a piece in a space, and it doesn’t work, you can return the item for credit or a refund.

In future articles we will explore how to display your art, but for now, realize that since you will be living with the piece, make sure you love it and want to live with it for a long time.

Tip of the month: Always research return policies on art you want to purchase.

Monica Hagen is an artist, teacher, and book editor. See more about her documentaries at SacredLife.com and her books at Amazon.com.

We Need More Dustin Hoffmans

Life of Lily

Heather Lynn Telford

14 FAMILY

I am just going to tell you right off the bat, this month’s column is inspired by a popular video going around by the one and only Dustin Hoffman. If you haven’t seen this video, he is talking about what he learned while he made the 1982 film Tootsie.

Dustin talks about how when he was made to look like a woman, his initial reaction was he wanted to be the most beautiful woman he could. When makeup artists told him he pretty much looked as good as he possibly could as a women, he realized if he saw himself as a woman at a party, he would probably never be interested in approaching himself.

He then had an epiphany that women who don’t look like society’s standard of beauty are not given the time of day.

Hoffman says, “There are too many interesting women I have not had the experience to know in this life, because I have been brainwashed, and that was never a comedy for me.”

As he was explaining this, he was welling up with tears. I

have to say, it was very touching it meant so much to him. I have a whole new respect for Dustin Hoffman.

There are plenty of men and women who could take a hint from his experience. This got me thinking, a lot of us end up letting ourselves become brainwashed by society. There is another key element I think a lot of us forget. We learn a lot about how we view ourselves from our mothers.

If daughters hear their mothers constantly calling themselves fat, you can be sure they will grow up being really hard on themselves when it comes to body image. It is really sad to think about it, but it is true!

We should be teaching our daughters about being comfortable with their bodies. Being comfortable with your body and who you are

is true beauty. It can be hard for this mother’s message to resonate with daughters though.

How do mothers teach all of these wonderful things to their daughters when we have

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society yelling in both of our ears the complete opposite?

My daughter is still a baby, so I have a little time to figure it out! All I know is I do not want Lily to be an adult and think to herself, “Mom always thought she was fat.” or “Mom always struggled with her weight, so I’ll have to really watch mine.”

All I can say is, ladies…we need more Dustin Hoffmans! We need more people recognizing the societal pressures placed on women to look a certain way. It is so great that a celebrity of his status is recognizing an issue like this. We do have to remember we do not have to be celebrities to have a voice which will matter to our daughters though.

As I am sure you can tell I am all about empowering women. Fortunately for me, I have grown up around some really strong female role models. I can only hope Lily sees me as a strong female role when she is old enough to realize what that means. I am embarrassed to admit it, but from time to time, I just need to get my trashy reality TV fix. A perfect solution to this is…you guessed it, Toddlers in Tiaras. This show is a train wreck, and yet, I cannot look away!

Normally I like to call out I am not judging something. This is different. I am definitely judging. In my opinion, this show, and many more shows and commercials and music lyrics for that matter, is teaching young girls the exact opposite of what I think we should be teaching them. It is teaching them that ultimately looks are the most important thing.

These girls, and when I say girls I mean anywhere from infants to teens, are being judged on their looks and “personality.” The judges say personality, but they all pretty much act exactly the same.

Do not even get me started on the mothers. One episode features a little girl whose dream is to be in the Olympics for gymnastics. Her mother made her quit doing gymnastics, because she was getting “too muscular” for pageants. This was just horrible beyond words to me.

Needless to say, Lily will not be doing any pageants! I hope we can get more people, celebrities and normal people alike addressing issues like this. Then we will be headed in a really positive direction for all young girls…and grown up mothers and women.

Anne Shaeffer

Annie’s Nom Noms

Mall Pretzels: A Copycat Recipe

44 ENJOY

This past month has been really busy for me and Bill. We had so much going on with work it felt like we barely had any time to spend together. So, I decided I wanted to treat him to a special ballpark themed dinner for him to enjoy while watching the Cubs game.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I think of baseball eats my mind directly goes to hotdogs and pretzels. The hotdogs were easy enough to get. I even tried my hand at making them spiral cut, “Chicago-style” char dogs.

However, I did not want to buy the regular old frozen grocery store pretzels I used to love growing up before I discovered freshly baked and buttered pretzels from one of the many neighboring malls. I don’t know what it is about them, but I’m totally and completely in love with their chewy goodness.

I decided to try my hand at making a copy cat version of my favorite pretzels, and let me say, I was amazed at how incredible they turned out! The dough is so soft and chewy. They were salty but still slightly sweet and exactly what I’ve been dying for.

One thing to make note of when trying these

out is make sure you roll the dough very thin, the thinner the better. This is because the dough rises a lot in the oven, and if you want your pretzels to come out like the ones at the mall, then you’re going to want to make sure you roll them nice and thin. It is a little extra work, but trust me, it is worth it.

Ingredients:

1 cup milk1 package active

dry yeast 3 T sugar2 ½ cup flour2 T butter, softened1 tsp sea salt ¼ cup baking soda 2 cup water Coarse Kosher salt

to taste6-8 T butter

Directions: In a saucepan, warm the milk to 110-115 degrees. Take off heat and sprinkle in the yeast and sugar stirring to dissolve. Set aside

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for 5 minutes. If the mixture doesn’t start to foam, then the milk was not at the right temperature or the yeast was too old. So, you’ll need to toss it and start over.)

Add 1 cup flour and mix well. Mix in the 2 T butter and transfer to a bowl for a stand mixer. Add the remaining flour and the sea salt (don’t add the kosher salt yet).

Using the dough hook attachment on your mixer, knead for about 5 minutes or until the gluten develops. The dough should be smooth and a little sticky. If the dough is too wet add some extra flour 1 tablespoon at a time being sure not to add too much flour as this will make your pretzels tough.

Shape dough into a ball and put back into the bowl. Cover with a towel or plastic wrap and let rise until doubled in size, about 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees and line a large baking sheet with parchment. Punch down the dough to deflate it and transfer it to a floured surface. Divide the dough into 6 pieces.

Roll each section out until it makes a long rope about 30 inches long and form it into a pretzel shape. (You can also make great pretzel sticks if you’re having trouble with getting the shape down.)

In a small, shallow pan, dissolve the baking soda in the warm water and dip each pretzel. Sprinkle with the coarse kosher salt and arrange on the prepared baking sheet.

Bake until golden brown, about 8-10 minutes. Melt the remaining butter in a shallow dish, and dip the pretzels in. Enjoy!

Anne Shaeffer is a pastry chef and an accomplished graduate of the French Pastry School in Chicago. She is also the founder of the luxury chocolate company Sulpice Chocolat

Feel free to contact Anne at AShaeffer@womensvoicesmagazine.com with any questions or ideas for future articles.

ENJOY 45

7 Women2 Generations, 2 Democrats 2 Independents 3 Republicans7 Different Life Experiences...all in the same family.

Around the Dinner Table

Do you personally feel the United States is in a meaningful economic

recovery period now?

Anna San Jose, CA, Small Business Owner, Single, 2 Sons, Unity Religion, Independent, Oldest Sister

Living in San Jose, California, it is a very unusual place in it seems the economic recovery is in full swing. There didn›t seem to really be much of a down swing at all in the first place.

There are so many high tech jobs here, because so many of the corporate offices of the high tech companies are here. Apple is a mile away. Google, Facebook, EBay, Netflix, Yahoo, Hewlett-Packard and a branch of Microsoft are in the area too.

The housing market here is phenomenal. A small 841 square foot two story town home/apartment just sold last week in less than a week with an asking price of $428,000. There are routinely at least 20 buyers for each property here, and they offer more than the asking price.

As soon as I see a ‹For Sale› sign and an ‹Open House Sat and Sun› sign, within a week I will see a ‹Sale Pending› or ‹Sold› sign on that same property. I have seen about five ‹Sold› signs on a couple of blocks and not any ‹For Sale› signs. I would say in the last couple of years, the sale would take 10 days instead of a week!

When I have gone back to Chicago in the last few years, where I grew up, I have seen ‹For Sale› signs on just about every block. I heard houses that used to sell for $300,000 were selling for $225,000. These houses were also on the market for months. The job market has been down as well. However, the realtor I have known for 30 years in Chicago has recently said that

POLITICS 65

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the housing market in Chicago is rebounding, and he is very busy.

I have a very good friend in a suburb of Chicago who needs to sell her home, because she became unemployed a couple of years ago and can no longer make the mortgage and tax payments. This year she finally found a new job, but it is part-time and pays much less than what she was making before. The income level of unemployment benefits or this new job will not allow her to keep her house instead of selling it.

I have an adoption business where we find birth families for adopted children and facilitate and accompany birth country traveling and birth family meetings. Just last week, in one day, I was talking to a couple of our clients and had an email from another client in which all of them were telling me their husbands had lost their jobs this year. One had more than 30 years with a well known company. None of them live in Silicon Valley.

I have seen people with college degrees who are unemployed, and if they find a job, the pay is at least half of their previous pay. Many have to now work two lower paying jobs to simply make ends meet.

I suspect there is some recovery, but I doubt that it is sustainable.

Linda Greater Salt Lake City, UT, Public Sector, Married, 2 Daughters/2 Stepsons, Buddhist, Republican, Middle Twin Sister

I don’t feel our economy has entered a meaningful and proven measured recovery. American households are still seeing the use of food stamps going upward. Unemployment rates are steadily holding at 7+% so it is hard to say a true recovery is here The unemployment rate for black Americans is also a steady 13+% right now, up from 12% in 2008 and on. Does this not bother anyone?

Our young Americans aged 18 – 24 are also finding it very hard to get full time-employment or even a job in their field of study or college degree. Many are still living at home with their parents as well.

As a federal civil service employee, I have seen firsthand my monthly net income decrease. This is due to no annual cost of living raises in three years and a steady annual cost increase for health and life insurance.

This past year every working American also saw a 2% social security tax increase putting the formula back to where it was in 2010. Now sequester furloughs have started for most federal employees of one day a week off with no pay. This is a 20% decrease in pay for these federal workers. My heart goes out to the single parent and low income wage earners trying to support their children in these lean economic times.

66 POLITICS POLITICS 67

Kelly Warner Robins, GA, Medical Industry, Married, 2 Young Daughters, Christian, Republican, Linda’s Daughter

Not really. I live by a military base, and all everyone is talking about around here is losing 20% pay due to furloughs. As a dental hygienist, I can see it is affecting a lot of my patients getting treatment they need, because they just cannot afford it. .

Brenda Greater Indianapolis, IN, Executive, Married, 1 Stepson, Catholic, Republican, Middle Twin Sister

Looking around me in a local sense, I have noticed there are not as many store front closings as there were in 2009-2012. But, I have also noticed there are not as many new businesses opening either. I personally still know very qualified people who lost their jobs 2 or 3 years ago and are still looking for work that would even compare to 75% of the income and job level they lost. I do know several people who now have to work two jobs that never did prior to 2010. The private sector job creation is about half what it needs to be to actually produce a meaningful recovery in the real world and not just in government calculations or the stock market. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the U.S. has been averaging 160-230K jobs created per month. Realistically, we need to be creating 500K jobs per month to have any meaningful employment recovery. The official unemployment rate is still manipulated to be reported as an artificial low in the 7% range. Jobs being created are now more often part-time as opposed to full-time and at the lower end of the wage scale, so they are not necessarily equal to past years and recession recoveries. Keep in mind, during the 1980›s Reagan recession recovery years, the U.S. was creating 1 Million jobs per month, and that was with a lower population level. Inflation on food and energy has been increasing year after year while wages have remained stagnant. Like the government calculated unemployment rates being designed to be lower than reality, so are inflation rate calculations that do not take into account food and energy costs. Like Linda, I am particularly concerned about the opportunities for black Americans, lower skilled workers and the 18-24 age groups in general in the employment picture. I›m not sure having a big push to legalize millions of illegal immigrants will help these groups start on the ladder to successful employment and advancement in our current economic environment. Not requiring employers to give Obamacare benefits to those they hire who are newly legal workers but not American citizens can not be a plus for job entry for lower skilled American workers either. This is in the law with or without the employer mandate delay until after the mid-term elections next year.

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Having immigration reform allow for more visas for foreign engineers and tech workers does not bode well for qualified American engineers and IT employees, many of whom are still looking for comparable work to what they lost in downsizing in the past few years. I don›t agree with the narrative Americans do not want these jobs, especially in the tech, construction and meat packing industries for example. There are too many Americans still looking for work who do indeed want to work at any job right now. The stereotype of lazy or unqualified Americans is not a truthful one. It is perhaps only a political one. We have spent billions on government retraining programs for displaced or unqualified workers. What jobs are they being trained for, and how many have been successful in gaining full employment? Where is the oversight on results for taxpayer money spent? I think many Americans are going back to holding onto their money as opposed to spending it in 2013. I have heard people around me talking about the U.S. going back into another recession again due to Obamacare mandates coming, whether delayed until 2015 or not and constantly increasing regulation costs on businesses being expanded in all directions. The cost of money has been kept artificially low also by the Federal Reserve. This may be ending too. Interest rates will rise. Small business already has a hard time finding initial capital funding.

Eva Greater Seattle, WA, Service Industry, Single, 1 Daughter/2 Sons, Spiritual, Democrat, Youngest Sister

I do believe our economy is improving but not at the rate in which many people need. Do I feel assured it is going to continue to improve? Absolutely not. There is still such a tentative and cautious attitude with most Americans when it comes to job security and spending money; and I am one of them. Once the rug has been pulled out from under you, it is difficult to trust again. My parents› generation seemingly had some guarantees. They knew company pensions and social security would be there for them, and no one ever threatened to take that away. In my field of hospitality, it is not unusual to see men and women in their 70›s still working full-time to ensure they will have enough money to live on and perhaps something to leave for their children. Retirement is not an option. I do not see it as one for me either.I agree with Linda in we really should be concerned about the lack of job opportunities for black Americans and our young adults with degrees like my recent college graduate daughter. How can our economy improve if they are not able to even contribute to it? As much as I hate to say it, I also think Brenda has a point concerning the legalization of illegal immigrants in today›s economic growth outlook. Should not our priority be to employ Americans first? Obviously, Corporate America and Congress still do not get it. Ultimately, the average

68 POLITICS

American citizen has to be the one to vote the right people into office who do understand the plight of working class Americans. Politicians give a lot of lip service to working Americans, but their actions do not back up any understanding of them in having policies that will grow the economy and employ Americans first.

Sarah Hood River, OR, Medical Industry, Single, No Kids, No Religion, Independent, Linda’s Daughter

It is hard to say there has been meaningful recovery. As a nurse in the community, I can say my patient population is doing better now than they were five years ago. I am hearing fewer and fewer real life stories of un-paid bills and home foreclosures, but the unemployment rate, and under-employment in general, are still concerning.

Many people are working part-time or working below their education level just to be working. Even though my community and circles do seem to be in better positions, I do not believe it is related to a ‘meaningful recovery’ as much as I believe the American people have just become better at coping.

Tuesday Greater Seattle, WA, 2013 College Graduate, Single, No Kids, Lutheran, Democrat, Eva’s DaughterEditors Note: Tuesday graduated from the University of Washington in June and is on vacation this month. Congratulations, Tuesday!

POLITICS 69

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ECONOMY My Voice

“As you probably know, half of the people who work in this country work for small businesses. And, it’s more than that, because two out

of every three net new jobs come from small business. So, we mean it when we talk about small business being the engine for the economy.” -

Karen Mills, Administrator, Small Business Administration (SBA)

Sandy Dumont, Washington D.C. - Yes, I suppose I was born with entrepreneur in my DNA, even though neither of my parents were entrepreneurs. My first venture was a lit-tle newspaper in the second grade - using those rubber stamps where you put in the letters with a pair of tweezers! I charged my neighbors to put in ads!

Brenda Huffman, Indiana - I started my career working as a waitress as a teenager in high school. I always liked working for my own money. Then after college I went on into corporate America. This executive experience allowed me to start my own businesses. I have been an entrepreneur at heart my whole life I think. I am happy when I am creating.

Are you an entrepreneur currently or one at heart?

76 ECONOMY

Darity Wesley

Business…From the Heart!

Do Business and Forgiveness Ever Go Together?

ECONOMY 77

“To forgive is to abandon your right to pay back the predator in his own coin, but it is the loss that liberates.” - Desmond Tutu

The title poses an interesting question, don’t you think? It’s true sometimes in your business or working world or even just in day-to-day business relationships, you may, occasionally, feel like you may have been injured and traumatized.

This may occur from either the actions of a colleague, boss, contractor, co-worker, or some business relationship or from some words spoken about you to someone inside your world or outside your world.

From outside of your business or work environment, the damage could come from some kind of dispute or litigation, negative press, false claims against you, your product or service or defamatory personal statements against you.

Trauma on the inside can occur, depending on your situation, with something like a company downsizing, a dramatic employee exit, gossip and fear mongering or even the simple

merging of companies.

Regardless of where the disturbance begins, it can rock the boat of even the most stable and harmonious business relationship or work environment. Often times, it is difficult to stay on course in these troubled times. That’s where the practice of business or organizational forgiveness can be a valuable way to stabilize the business relationship or the business or company itself.

Forgiveness has been defined in many different ways, depending on your perspective. Generally speaking, it really is the putting aside of or stopping of yourself from continuing to engage in resentment, indignation or anger which probably came from a perceived offence, some kind of disagreement, or even a mistake.

It also can refer to not demanding someone be punished or there be some kind of restitution. It is kind of letting it all go!

Above all, forgiveness really is neutral. It has a way of neutralizing volatile situations in which emotions run strong. Forgiveness

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does not ask you to give up your ethics or values. It is, however, a virtuous means through which to give up the emotional charge that keeps the organization or individual upset. When you learn to incorporate forgiveness into your business relationships or situations, it creates a more cooperative and productive environment. Take for example the story of a business in which an officer of the corporation had misappropriated funds. It was revealed by the media and created a public relations nightmare within and outside the organization. Or, during the reorganization of a company many hard situations occur, and usually people are let go. Both of these examples are extremely difficult situations to handle from inside or outside of an organization. The emotions could become poisonous to the well being of the business or the people involved. People start to dread coming to work and are highly guarded while there or resentments and anger build. With an attitude of forgiveness, the people are able to overcome highly charged aspects of these devastating circumstances and move on to determining how to proceed. The rebuilding of trust could begin on the inside and the outside. Now I am not saying we all should forgive and forget, necessarily, but calling up genuine compassion for those who have wronged you, instead of allowing anger to fester, is a course recommended by psychologists as well as the clergy.

It helps at all levels of being, and what I am saying here is if we can take all of that highly charged emotional energy pointed at the wrong-doer or the difficult situation and apply it toward forgiving and rebuilding, it would be much more

productive for everyone. Can you feel the change when you think about it?

As an enlightened leader in whatever your business is or in your business relationships, be it with one person or hundreds, forgiveness is a great leadership skill to have in your organizational toolbox. It fosters and enables a supportive environment creating a space in which even the most wrong actions can be addressed and not have it permanently cripple the company or a particular relationship.

When you can mitigate powerful emotions with the virtue of forgiveness, it makes for a more productive workplace or for more productive business relationships.

Know that the act of forgiveness is not grounded in the emotions or intellect. It is from the spirit. It comes from your heart. Most religions of the world provide that forgiveness is good for the heart and the human being.

I know from personal experience it is difficult to forgive without keeping some small corner of your heart where you think they were wrong and you were right, but that happens when you try to find a rational reason upon which to base forgiving someone when there really isn’t any.

True forgiveness truly comes from the heart.

ECONOMY 79

If you would like to experiment with the technique of organizational or business forgiveness, think about any old grievances, resentments, guilt or anger you have about your workplace and/or the people you work with or just some person who you feel has done you wrong. Now, forgive them. Yes, just do it, give it a try. Let it go!

It is important when practicing forgiveness that you may want to stay aware and alert you do not continue to accumulate new grievances,

resentments, guilt or anger. Notice if you feel any differently going to work or interacting with certain business partner or business relationship after doing some real forgiveness work.

I think it will really make a difference. Please feel free to let me know how it goes!

You may contact Darity at www.LotusLawCenter.com

©2013 Darity Wesley. All rights reserved.

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How to be Assertive - Being Strong in Every Situation

IMPACT 111

10 Steps to Being Assertive Without Being Aggressive

Do you equate being assertive with being bossy or bitchy or a negative cliché of femi-nism? You might be surprised to know many women do, and they may be settling for less than they desire and deserve in many aspects of life not wanting to be seen as aggressive, mean or masculine.

How can women stay strong without becom-ing a negative and ineffective stereotype? Here are 10 steps to being assertive without being aggressive:

1. Forget about being liked.

A lot of women give up being assertive, be-cause they don’t want to be seen to be attack-ing people. But assertion is not about being liked. It is about being respected.

That means you might not get the smiles and nods you are used to. Instead, you might get some standoffish behavior to start with. You just have to grit your teeth, and get on with it.

2. Build self-belief.

Tell yourself you are as important as others, that you can question people without attacking

them, that conflict can be helpful and that your time is important. These are mantras I encour-age people to chant before they go into chal-lenging situations.

3. Understand other’s opinions are valid, even if you disagree with them.

You may not agree with what is being said, but you need to acknowledge that other peo-ple’s views are valuable. If you hear someone blame you for something, calmly say, “I ac-knowledge what you said, yet I feel different-ly.” Then go on to explain your perspective. Never say, “I disagree.” That creates conten-tion.

4. Make it clear you’re looking for a win-win.

Being assertive isn’t about sticking rigidly to your view. It’s about saying, “I am keen to get you alongside me and get my idea implement-ed in a way that will work for everyone.”

Signal all the time you have ideas you are passionate about. But also signal you want to achieve a solution that is good for everyone.

Suzanne Potts

112 IMPACT

5. Find common ground.

Behavior is contagious. If you indicate you agree on certain things, others are more likely to agree with you when you have your own different ideas.

6. Ask a question.

This is a great way to engage others. Say, “This is what I think. Why shouldn’t we go with this? Who has got an objection to this? What stops you sup-porting me on this?”

This engages people in your idea. It is a bet-ter approach than just putting it on the table and expecting people to respond.

7. Silent messages matter.

93% of communication comes through body language and voice, not the words we say. Male gestures tend to stay at waist height. Women often move our hands in front of our chest. This is a typical female gesture that stops you being taken seriously and makes you look abrasive.

8. Think before you speak.

Keep sentences short, and make sure there are pauses. Emphasize the verbs, the action words, because assertion is about moving things forward.

Look out for ending a sentence on a high note which makes you sound silly and not in con-trol. Ending your sentences on a low note instantly gives you gravitas.

9. Learn when to stop speaking.

When you choose to take up all the air time it can come across as “I am more intelligent

than you, or my needs are more important than yours or what I have to say is more interesting ... and, I just need to get that across”. Learn when to keep quiet. Sometimes less really is more.

10. Use the “No Sandwich.”

Use this technique to say no without alienating people. There are three steps; Acknowledge, Refuse and Next Steps.

Asked to do a task you don’t have time for?

Acknowledge:

“I appreciate you want me to take on this big project and that would be really useful to you.”

Refuse:

“No, I am sorry I cannot give you that much time. I have already committed to somebody else and do not want to let them down.”

Next Steps:

“Next time there is a project of this kind, please ask me. If I have the time available, I would be happy to help.”

It is a myth women being assertive automat-ically means they may become a negative female stereotype. We must give ourselves permission to be strong, coming from a posi-tive place, in every situation from dealing with aggressive co-workers and getting a pay raise at work to dealing with abusive relationships and choosing healthy ones in life.

It is possible to be assertive as a woman and present ourselves as fair and strong but not as a man.

Contact Suzanne – Website Twitter Facebook

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