writing examples revised 08

8/12/2019 Writing Examples Revised 08

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A Model for Teaching

Writing to

Struggling Writers

Examples

Anita L. Archer, Ph.D.

These examples are based on the programREWARDS Writingcurrently in development.

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-t as dus/ hen e entered the tin0

grocer0 store on the edge of the deserted

road. The store as lit '0 a single 'ul'

hanging near the entrance. The aisles in

the store ere narro alloing onl0 one

shopper at a time. Ancient ooden

shel%es lining the aisles ere cluttered

ith dust1co%ered cans and 'oxes.

(elloed la'els on the cans held the

secret of the store.

Example #" 5riting !rame for Emerging 5riters

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6y favorite city is 777777777777777.

This city is located in the state of 77777777.

8 li9e this city because 7777777777777777

7777777777777777777777777777777777.

/ne of my favorite things to do in this city is

7777777777777777777777777777777777.&nother activity that 8 en:oy in 7777777777

is 7777777777777777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777.

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Example # 5riting !rame to &ccommodate Emerging 5riters

77777777777777777777770;tate2

7777777777777777777 is a very fascinating state. 8t is found

in the 77777777777777777777777 part of the s economy is manufacturing.

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The follo$ing products are produced in 777777777777777777777=

777777777777777777777777 7777777777777777777777777777

and 7777777777777777777777777777. 77777777777777777777

is the product most often associated $ith this state. 8f you visited

this state and purchased either an agricultural or manufacturing

product you $ould probably buy 77777777777777777777777777.

There are many recreational opportunities in 777777777777.

!irst there are a number of large state and federal par9s. 6y

favorite par9 is 777777777777777777777777777. This par9

$ould be a great place to visit because 777777777777777777777

7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

These are some of the recreational activities you might en:oy in

7777777777777= 77777777777777 77777777777777777777

77777777777777777777 and 7777777777777777777777777.

/f these 8 $ould particularly en:oy 777777777777777777777.

/ne thing that this state is noted for is 77777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

This is note$orthy because 777777777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

?o$ever 8 thought the most interesting thing about thisstate $as 77777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

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Example #$ 5riting frame for a story"problem explanation in math

8n this problem $e $ere as9ed to figure out 7777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

;ome information $as already given including 777777777777777

777777777777777777777 and 7777777777777777777777777777.

5hen creating a plan to solve this problem 8 decided to follo$ a

number of steps. !irst 8 777777777777777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

Next 8 77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

Then 8 77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.!inally 8 777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

&fter follo$ing these steps 8 determined that ans$er to this

problem $as 777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

To chec9 this ans$er 8 7777777777777777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

@ased on my verification of the ans$er 8 am (uite certain that it is

accurate.

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Example # 2 3 ;ummariAation " Narrative

7777777777777777777777777777 too9 place

inBat 77777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

The main character of this story $as 7777777777777777.

?isBher ma:or problem $as 777777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

77777777777 tried to solve this problem by 77777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

8n the end 777777777777777777777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.


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Example 2 continued 3 ;ummariAation " Narrative

7777777777777777 title77777777777777777$as a narrative

selection about 777777777777777777theme

77777777777777. 8n this story 77777777777name77777777

aBan77777777

777777777777777777777777777777777777 $as the main

character. /ther critical characters included= 777name777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

and 77777name777777777 7777777777777777777777777777777.

8n this story 7777777name77777777777777777>s ma:or

problemBconflictBgoal $as 77777777777777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

!irst 777777name7777777777777777777 tried to resolve this

problemBconflictBgoal by 77777777777777777777777777777777

7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

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8n the end the follo$ing happened= 77777777777777777777777

77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777.

Example # 6 Summarization Expository

Viruses

Viruses have some characteristics of _________ things

and ________________ things. In some cases, viruses are

_________________, but they can live and _____________.

To live and reproduce, viruses must invade a ____________

and use it. Viruses are NOT _____________ but have

genetic ____________________. Different viruses need

different ______________. The ___________ coat helps

the virus detect the right kind of host cell. In ____________,

the virus attaches to the outside of a host cell. In _________,

the virus injects genetic information into the host cell. During

_____________ and ____________, the host cells enzymes

obey the viruss genetic instructions. During __________

new virus particles leave the _________________ in search of

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new host cells.

Example # 7- Writing Frame - Academic Language

(Compare and Contrast)

_______________ and __________________ are similar

in a number of ways. First, they both _____________________

___________________________________________________.

Another critical similarity is ___________________________.

An equally important similarity is ________________________.

Finally, they ________________________________________.

The differences between ________________________

and _________________ are also obvious. The most important

difference is ________________________________________.

In addition, ___________ and _____________ are __________

___________________________________________________.

In the final analysis, ____________ differs from _____________

in two other major ways: 1)______________________________

and 2) ____________________________________________.

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1%


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Example #4 continued 0


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Example # 4 continued

ree9 Theater

" began as a religious ceremony

1

" honored the ree9 god Dionysus

" beliefs in Dionysus began to spread

south$ard

% " choruses chanted lyrics

' " actors :oined the choruses

" the Dionysus festival in &thens became a

drama competition

)

" amphitheaters $ere built

" performed tragedies that taught lessons

+

" performed comedies that made fun of life

, "declined $hen play$rights died and thegovernment changed

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Example #4 continued

The roots of modern theater can be

found in early ree9 theater. ree9 theater

began as a religious ceremony that honored

the ree9 god Dionysus. &t first choruses

chanted lyrics. 5hen actors $ere added to

interact $ith the chorus theater $as born.

Cater the Dionysus festival in &thens

became a drama competition and

amphitheaters $ere built to accommodate

the event. @oth tragedies $hich taught

lessons and comedies $hich made fun of

life $ere performed. ree9 theater declined

$hen the great play$rights died and the

government changed.

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5u'ric1

Summar0

Student

5ating

Teacher

5ating

1. Did the author state the topic and the main

idea in the first sentence

Yes !ix up Yes No

%. Did the author focus on the important

details

Yes !ix up Yes No

'. Did the author combine details in some of

the sentences

Yes !ix up Yes No

). 8s the summary easy to understand Yes !ix up Yes No

+. Did the author correctly spell $ords

particularly the $ords found in the article

Yes !ix up Yes No

,. Did the author use correct capitaliAation

capitaliAing the first $ord in the sentence

and proper names of people places and

things

Yes !ix up Yes No

-. Did the author use punctuation including a

period at the end of each sentence

Yes !ix up Yes No

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Example #9

Compare/Contrast Think Sheet

Su'9ect:

SAME Groups

&ategories St. Bernard 7efoundland

6se 5escue Rescue

Height

Full grown males

same

Full grown males

same

Type of Fur Smooth dense thatprotects from cold Smooth dense thatprotects from cold

DIFFERENT Groups

&ategories

Weight 22 3 ;! pounds $! 3 2! pounds

Place of Origin Siss Alps Newfoundland

Different

&lients Climbers and skiers

People in Atlantic

Ocean

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Example #


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Example #< continued" *ompareB*ontrast Thin9 ;heet

Compare/Contrast Think Sheet

Su'9ect:

SAME Groups

&ategories

DIFFERENT Groups&ategories

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Example #10 (Essay to Persuade)

Essay Rubric

Author Essa0 Topic

=uestionStudent or

Partner 5ating

Teacher 5ating

INTRODUCTION

1. Does the introduction tell the topicof the essay

%. Does the introduction state the author>s positionon the topic'. Does the introduction give t$o or more convincing reasonsfor the

position). Does the introduction grab the reader>s attention

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

BODY

+. Does the body include at least three ma9or reasonsthat supportthe author>s position

,. Does the author elaborate on and explaineach of the ma:or

reasons using logical arguments evidence and examples-. Did the author ac9no$ledge and respond to the opposing side>s

%ie?

. &re the paragraphs ell1organi+edand eas0 tounderstand3. &re transition ords and phrases used to connect ideas $ithin

and bet$een paragraphs

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

CONCLUSION

10. Does the conclusion summarize the authors position?11. Does the essay have a definite conclusion

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

&*7@E7T-*7S

11. Did the author correctl0 spell$ords

1%. Did the author use correct capitali+ation

1'. Did the author use correct punctuation?

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o&*7TE7T

1). Did the essay hold the reader>s attentionfrom beginning to end1+. 8s the essay clear and easy to understand

1,. Did the author stay focusedon the same position throughout the

paper

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

(es 7o

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Example #! continued 0Example " Essay to Persuade2

Prompt:In order to fight the rise of violence and use of drugs in schools, some faculties

have implemented random searches of bacpacs, boo bags, locers, and!or dess for

"eapons and drugs# Do $ou agree "ith these random searches or do $ou disagree%Write a letter to the facult$ members at a school stating $our opinion and &ustification for

that opinion# 'egin the letter "ith these "ords( Dear )acult$ *embers#

Dear !aculty 6embers

8 am $orried about the ne$ random search policies that have

been implemented at many schools in our area. 8 understand the

danger of illegal drugs and $eapons on campus but 8 am more

afraid of the conse(uences that these searches $ill cause. 8 9no$

these policies only come from a real concern for the safety and(uality of our school campus but 8 thin9 that they $ill cause more

problems than solutions. Random searches threaten personal

privacy and erode a student>s trust in the faculty $ithout solving

the heart of the issue.

Random searches through a student>s boo9 bag loc9er or

des9 are a clear invasion of personal privacy. /ur des9s boo9

bags and loc9ers are essentially our home a$ay from home. Thus

they contain very personal items that are part of our non"academiclife such as diaries notes from boy or girl friends pictures from

non"school events cosmetics and dental retainers. 5e had no

intent that anyone $ould ever see or touch these items but no$ a

teacher or security guard is holding it up for all to see. Do you

realiAe ho$ embarrassing this $ould be to a shy sensitive student

?o$ $ould you li9e the principal going through your des9 purse

or car

Not only do these searches overstep boundaries of a person>s

private space they brea9 do$n valuable trust bet$een students and

teachers the heart of that relationship. 8n order for a student to

learn they need to be comfortable $ith their teachers. 8f students

are al$ays $orried about $hether or not their teachers $ill loo9

through their boo9 bags or loc9ers they $ill be too anxious to

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learn. ;chool faculty $ill become intimidating figures that

students don>t trust. Education is supposed to help students gro$

up not bring them do$n and ma9e them feel vulnerable. Random

searches $ould dramatically change the environment of a school

from academic to suspicious.!inally searches $ill not solve the problem on a permanent

basis. There>s no doubt that $idespread random searches $ill

uncover some illegal $eapons or drugs in the beginning but that

doesn>t mean that it is actually effective in the long run. Rather it

$ill force offending students to be snea9ier. 6a9ing more rules

doesn>t get to the root of the problem but ma9es problems become

more concealed. 8f students have drugs they $ill :ust find different

places to hide them. Even though these search efforts are $ellintentioned they do little to solve the problem of illegal drugs and

$eapons in the school and may actually punish the innocent. !or

example $hat if a nail file is found in a girl>s loc9er and the

security guards consider it a $eapon 5ould her future be

:eopardiAed over a little manicure tool 5hat if a boy has Tylenol

in his bac9pac9 because of a sprained an9le These searches could

punish the innocent $hile the guilty thin9 of ne$ and snea9ier

$ays to hide their contraband.8nstead of random bac9pac9 searches maybe schools could

offer alternate solutions li9e counseling or advertising for

anonymous help"lines. 8f students are using drugs or feel the need

for $eapons they obviously need real help. ;chools should point

troubled 9ids to safe solutions instead of (uic9 punishment. This

$ay the students that aren>t doing anything $rong $on>t be treated

li9e criminals and schools can 9eep their focus on academics and

education. F %44- &. &rcher G 6. leason

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Example # ! continued 0*ompleted Thin9 ;heet2

PrepareTopic= random searches !orm= letter 77essay 77other

&udience= faculty members Type of preparation= thin9 /R

777collect evidence

Purpose= Persuade 77Pro *on @rainstorm and select convincing

reasons.

*rgani+e-ntroduction

Position on Topic: I disagree with having random searches of desks,

lockers, and backpacks.

5eason A. 5eason 8. 5eason &.Invades personal privacy Destroys trust between Doesnt solve

students and faculty problem8od0 A. Explain 8od0 8. Explain 8od0 &. Explain

1-desks, book bags, 1- not comfortable with

teachers

1- bad students sneakier

lockers are students

home !- hide drugs in new "# faculty intimidating places

- contain personal items-diaries ! # students worried " # may punish innocent

-notes about searches

! -pictures $ # e%ample # nail file

-retainers $ # feel vulnerable

& # e%ample - 'ylenol

& # changes school

- dont want people to see environment

"

- dont want people to touch

$ - embarrassing

&onclusion

77;ummariAe 77 *onvince ;uggest an &ction

%'


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Thin/ Sheet 3 Essa0 to persuade

PrepareTopic= 7777777777777777777777 !orm= 77 letter 77essay 77other

&udience= 7777777777777777777 Type of preparation= 777thin9 /R

77collect evidencePurpose= Persuade 77Pro 77*on @rainstorm and select convincing

reasons.


Position on Topic:77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

Reason &. Reason @. Reason *.7777777777777777777777 77777777777777777777777 77777777777777777777

7777777777777777777777 77777777777777777777777 77777777777777777777

7777777777777777777777 77777777777777777777777 77777777777777777777

8od0 &. Explain 8od0 @. Explain 8od0 *. Explain

&onclusion

77 ;ummariAe 77 *onvince 77 ;uggest an &ction

%)


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Example # 3 Thin/ Sheet 3 Essa0 to Explain

PrepareTopic= 7777777777777777777777 !orm= 77 letter 77essay 77other

&udience= 7777777777777777777 Type of preparation= 777thin9 /R777collect

evidence

Purpose= ExplainBReport @rainstorm and select three or more

ma:or reasons or points


Position on Topic:

777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

ReasonBPoint &. ReasonBPoint @. ReasonBPoint *.

7777777777777777777777 77777777777777777777777 777777777777777777777

7777777777777777777777 77777777777777777777777 777777777777777777777

7777777777777777777777 77777777777777777777777 777777777777777777777

8od0 &. ;upporting Details 8od0 @. ;upporting Details 8od0 *. ;upporting Details

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&onclusion

77 ;ummariAe 77 *onvince 77 ;uggest an &ction

Example # continued " Essay to Explain

Than/sgi%ing 3 A Da0 of ratitude

(Introduction)

My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving for anumber of reasons. First, Thanksgiving gives me anopportunity to visit and play with friends and familymembers. Of course, Thanksgiving is also a great day to

enjoy a variety of wonderful foods. In addition, it is a chanceto stop and express gratitude for the richness of our lives.

(Body)

First, Thanksgiving affords me the gift of gathering withfriends and family members. Normally, I celebrateThanksgiving on the Friday after the official holiday. Twenty-five to fifty people generally attend my Thanksgiving party.My guests include my sister and her family and an array of

friends from across the country. We spend much of our timejust visiting, but we also engage in numerous activities. Forexample, we entertain each other by telling a story, playingthe piano or guitar, or singing a song. Guests who dontwant to perform make up the attentive audience. As agroup, we also sing traditional Thanksgiving songs andhymns. After eating, we play games, go on a group strollthrough the neighborhood, and continue our conversations.

Thanksgiving is not only an excellent time to enjoyfriends and family members, it is also a wonderful time toEAT. You should see the buffet table at our Thanksgivingparty. Of course, we have all the traditional foods: turkey,mashed potatoes, stuffing, and gravy. In addition, we

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always have a variety of vegetables and a Pacific Northwestspecialty, salmon. The guests usually bring the dessertsincluding pies, cakes, and cookies. My favoriteThanksgiving food may surprise you: bread covered with

gravy. Late at night, once my guests have turned off theirlights, I slip back to the kitchen for my private snack. I tear apiece of bread into small pieces, cover it with gravy, heat themixture in the microwave, and sit down for the final feast.

But most importantly, I love Thanksgivingbecause I take time to reflect on my life and expressgratitude for my abundance. Even as I prepare for

Thanksgiving, I contemplate my many blessings. As I setthe table, I remember many of my relatives: my mother whogave me the salt and pepper shakers, my grandmother whoonce cherished the pitcher with an autumn leaf design, mysister who brought me the blue serving dish for this party.As I prepare the food, I am reminded of all the gifts that Ihave in my life that others lack: joyful work, abundant food,the shelter of a house, and warm clothing. My final

preparation activity, creating floral arrangements for each ofthe tables, always carries me into deep gratitude for thebeauty of nature. And then my friends arrive and Iexperience the greatest blessings of my life.

(Conclusion)

As you can see Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.But it should also be your favorite for Thanksgiving is theonly holiday that will never disappoint you. On Christmas,

you may not get the gift you hoped for. On Valentines Day,you may not have a girl or boy friend. On the Fourth of July,the fireworks may be cancelled due to dry conditions.However, on Thanksgiving, you expected turkey and you gotit!

%-


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Example # 12 - Short Story

Think Sheet Story

); Title

) Setting

) Main &haracter)s

)" Pro'lem

)$ 8eginning

)2 Middle

)B End

%


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Example # 13- Personal Narrative Think Sheet

Auto'iographical -ncident

Thin/ Sheet

)2 Title

) -ncident

) Setting

)$ E%ents in order

)" Lesson learned

%3


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Auto'iographical -ncident

Thin/ Sheet

)2 Title +ive eart

012 -ncident )ifth grade "ith *rs# )inle -- eart pin

) Settings *ountain .ie" Elementar$ School

)$ E%ents

/# Arrive at *ountain .ie"#

0# Difficult$ adapting to ne" fifth grade class#1# Decided to be silent#

2# *rs# )inle "as ind and caring#

3aled to me#

Patted m$ bac#

Smiled at me#

4# 5lass got better#

*ade friends#

Participated in class#6# *rs# )inle caught heart pin in hairnet#

7# elped *rs# )inle remove pin#

8# She gave me the pin and told me to 9give heart:as a teacher#

;# 3oda$ I "ear on .alentine and tr$ to 9give heart:#

)" Lesson learned

+ive heart to all people# Sho" love and care#

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i%e Ceart

8eing a teacher as not e%en a consideration at the

time, 'ut Mrs. in/le, m0 fifth grade teacher, taught mem0 first lesson a'out teaching. E%en no, it is the

lesson that - tr0 to practice e%er0 da0.

Mountain @ie as the second school of m0 fifth

grade, the eighth school of m0 short school career.

After so man0 mo%es, the prospect of ma/ing ne

friends, of learning a'out a ne teacher, of once again

learning the classroom routines, 'rought me to totalsilence. or an outgoing person, silence as a ne

experience. - 9ust didn>t ant to tr0 again.

Coe%er, Mrs. in/le as not a'out to lose m0

mind or soul. - ill ne%er forget the little things she did

each da0 to reach out to the silent one: tal/ing ith me

as e lined up for music, patting m0 'ac/ as - or/edon math pro'lems, uietl0 praising m0 efforts, riting

comments on m0 papers. 8est of all, hen - as

reading or or/ing, - ould loo/ up and there ould 'e

her smileFgreeting me, ma/ing me feel safe.

raduall0, the scar0 life of fifth grade in a ne

school 'egan to fade. - did ma/e friends. - did 'egin to

tal/ in class. - 'egan to rite long stories and to read

them to m0 class. All of this occurred 'ecause of the

lo%e and care shared '0 Mrs. in/le.

And one da0, she shared a s0m'ol of that lo%e. -t

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as right 'efore recess and most of the /ids ere

alread0 out the door. Mrs. in/le and - ere 'oth at

the cloa/room pulling on hats, glo%es, and coats as

protection against the e'ruar0 cold. As she put on hercoat, Mrs. in/le caught her hairnet on her red heart

pin that ala0s rested on her collar. After struggling

for a moment, she 'ec/oned, GAnita , ould 0ou help

me.H Soon - had separated the heart pin from her

hairnet. Coe%er, instead of replacing the pin, she

handed it to me and gentl0 directed, G(ou ta/e it. (ou

ill 'e a teacher someda0. 5emem'er to gi%e heartF

ala0s.H

ort0 0ears later, - ear that heart each

@alentine>s Da0. 8ut e%er0da0, - ear at least one

heart and tr0 to remem'er her message as - teach.

Gi%e heart.H Than/s, Mrs. in/le.

writing examples revised 08

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