what does kanye bring to the table?: the kanye 2020 cookbook
DESCRIPTION
While most people were focused on whether Kanye was qualified to become president come 2020, this cookbook focuses on what exactly Kanye would focus on if he were to become president. A fun and novel way to become informed on some potential 2020 Kanye West policy.TRANSCRIPT
Foreword by Darien Bankhead
What Does Kanye Bring to the Table?:
The Kanye 2020 Cookbook
by Jordan Hayes
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Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Table of ContentsForeword by Darien Bankhead 1
Introduction 2
The College Knockout 3
Great Marginalization 4
Vo-quiche-ion 5
Weed Shakes & Jailbreak 6
My Beautiful Sweet Delicious Fantasy 7
Cheezus 8
Dinnertime with Kanye '20 9
Afterword by Gabby Argueta 10
Foreword by Darien Bankhead
Kanye West has proven himself time and time again to be one of the most influential musicians of this generation. The diversity and relevance of his discography knows no limits, as every album brings a different aesthetic to the table. From the soulful, sped-up samples all over The College Dropout to the synth-laced sonics of Yeezus, West conveys a wide range of topics to his audience. Recently, he has decided to become a contender in the presidential election of 2020 to make an attempt to change the world on a platform outside of his art. His actions confuse many people, having them wonder what his next move will be. Maybe Kanye West will release a cookbook entailing how to make his "damn Croissants."
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Introduction
On August 30, 2015, over nine million people endured the multiple cringes induced by the MTV Video Music Awards all to witness the great Kanye Omari West announce that he’d be running for president in 2020. Naturally, many criticisms arose after Kanye’s announcement challenging his presidential validity. Most of his criticisms were similar to the following: “He didn’t even graduate from college!”, “He’s a rapper, not a politician!”, “Does he even care about black people?”
Despite all of these extremely valid criticisms on whether Kanye can actually become president, I wanted to instead focus on what exactly a Kanye West presidency would consist of--what would Kanye bring to the table come 2020?
After creating this focus for my extensive, award-worthy research, I was faced with a flagrant problem: such a boring question didn’t do the creative genius (!) of Kanye any justice. What would Kanye bring to the table come 2020, literally?
My extremely scholarly and prolific research into the world of Kanye West ultimately led me to discover six delicious dishes that Kanye would, without a shadow of doubt, serve to his fellow Americans.
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The College Knockout
Inspired by the tendency among college students to binge drink until they either black out, throw up, get arrested, or make life-ruining decisions, the College Knockout will surely be a favorite for all the college kids out there. They’ll be sure to have a ball with this cocktail once they reap the benefits of their new equitable educational institutions!
RECIPE1. 1 big heap of reduced variation in educational institutions 2. 1 scoop of merit-based institutions actually based on merit and not wealth3. 1 huge serving of equal opportunity for educational advancement4. Every bottle of alcohol you can find to celebrate5. Done!
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Cake Marginalization
The Cake Marginalization will probably be the least favorite dish for a lot of people. My research on Kanye led me to discover that he raps about the marginalized American working class…a lot. I felt really bad for the group he was rapping about and their struggles, so I decided to make a cake for them. Cake Marginalization. You’re welcome, America!
RECIPE1. 1 truckload of socioeconomic reform2. ∞ amount of reduced income inequality3. 2 countless amount of increased opportunity for working class citizens4. 1 CHEAP cake (I’m working class too, gotta save that money)5. Done!
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Vo-quiche-ion
As a proud college dropout (he’s made a whole trilogy of albums about this), Kanye is a big supporter of the vocational/trade route. College ain’t for everyone and those who don’t want to go shouldn’t be stigmatized for it. In honor of Kanye’s stand against this stigma and in equal honor of horribly unfunny puns everywhere, I give you Vo-quiche-ion.
RECIPE1. 5 decreased stigmas for the vocational/trade route2. A pinch of increased respect for our fellow man3. A hint of a new, progressive America4. 1 bad pun5. Stuff contents into the first quiche you can find6. Done!
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“Knock the Edge Off” Shakes & Jailbreak
“Ya’ll might be thinking right now, ‘Did he smoke something before he came out here?’ The answer is yes, I rolled up a little something. I knocked the edge off!”
-Kanye West at the 2015 MTV Video Music AwardsKanye is a proud “knocked the edge off”-er and he doesn’t believe that people should be put into jail and prison for just “knocking the edge off.” If you want to “knock the edge off” too, then now’s your chance with Weed Shakes & Jailbreaks!
RECIPE1. A lot of “Get Out of Jail Free” cards2. 1 suspicious looking man3. Something to “knock the edge off”4. 1 reggae playlist5. Done!
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My Beautiful Sweet Delicious Fantasy
The American Dream is something that’s escaping the grasp of the average American citizen and Kanye wants to do something about it! We may not be able to attain the American Dream (without Kanye as president at least), but with this Beautiful Sweet Delicious Fantasy, we can get the next best thing…delicious ice cream! Maybe the ice cream is actually the American Dream that’s been tantalizing us this whole time??
RECIPE1. 1 man to be a voice for the voiceless (guess who)2. 1 handful of increased opportunities for those without voice3. A pinch of brand new conceptualization4. Add 1 ice cream cone5. Done!
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Cheezus
Now this recipe may be a little hard to understand, but just bear with me. Cheese is a slang term for money. Money can be claimed to be the root of all corruption. Institutional prejudice/racism are…corrupt…and then it all makes sense. In honor of Yeezus’ valiant fight in his songs against institutional prejudice/racism motivated by (if you will) “Cheezus”, I give you Cheezus.
RECIPE1. 1 DEA inspection2. 1 CCA prohibition3. A full serving of free, nonviolent, and wrongly incarcerated men and women4. 1 slice of “Progressive” American cheese 5. Done!
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2020: Mealtime with Kanye
What a journey we’ve been through! Here we are at the end and all of Kanye’s meal plans for 2020 have been revealed. Do they sound delicious? Does it sound like the GREATEST RECIPES OF ALL TIME? If so, then you might want Kanye to be the head chef come 2020
On a serious note (yes, I know it’s a huge digression at this point), Kanye has serious potential and validity come 2020. His political beliefs are couched in logic and he is a very conscientious and progressive individual. If you desire to see an America with mitigated vice and bolstered opportunity, then maybe you should sit down, enjoy his meal, and vote for Kanye in 2020.
(I would like to give full credit to myself for creating this masterful campaign logo)
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Afterword by Gabby Argueta
Kanye West was born June 8, 1977, he is 38 years old, and he is from Chicago, Illinois. He married to Kim Kardashian and the couple have a daughtered named North West. Kanye also makes very good music according his fans and inspires young people all over the world. Kanye also says he will be running for president in 2020. Many young Americans are excited because he is Kanye West, and think he would make a “cool” president. Cookbooks are very convenient especially for those who can’t cook very well or just looking for something new to make and the recipes are usually easy to follow.
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