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“AWAKENING THE GIFTS OF CHARACTERCreating A Culture of Caring & Compassion

An Introduction to The Five Strategies™ of

The Virtues Project™

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WHO ARE THE PRESENTERS?

Terry Rahn Bobbie Lotz

Bonnie Hansen

Facilitators of The Virtues Project™

What is The Virtues Project?

A global grassroots initiative that is transforming the culture of homes, schools, organizations and communities, through awakening virtues, our gifts of character using five simple strategies!

What are virtues?

They’re what is good in us

The gifts of our character

The qualities of our spirit

Our inner strengths

Virtues: The Gifts of Character

AssertivenessCaringCleanlinessCommitmentCompassionConfidenceConsiderationCooperationCourageCourtesyCreativityDetachmentDetermination

ReliabilityRespectResponsibilitySelf-disciplineServiceTactThankfulnessToleranceTrustTrustworthinessTruthfulness Understanding Unity

DiligenceEnthusiasmExcellenceFlexibilityForgivenessFriendlinessGenerosityGentlenessHelpfulnessHonestyHonorHumilityIdealism

IntegrityJoyfulnessJusticeKindnessLoveLoyaltyModerationModestyOrderlinessPatiencePeacefulnessPerseverancePurposefulness

Perfect in Potential

We look like this,with all the virtues inside!!!

Yale Infant Mental Health• Moral Life of Babies by Paul Bloom (2010) (Psychology Professor at Yale)

• Babies possess certain moral foundations — the capacity and willingness to judge the actions of others, some sense of justice, gut responses to altruism and nastiness. Regardless of how smart we are, if we didn’t start with this basic apparatus, we would be nothing more than amoral agents, ruthlessly driven to pursue our self-interest.

Moral Molecule by Paul ZakOXYTOCIN INCREASES-

• Trust, Trustworthiness • Empathy, Generosity Inhibiting Oxytocin-

Increases Stress

Decreases Nurturing

Amy Cuddy- Body ImageFake it until you BECOME it!

Increases Testosterone & Decreases Cortisol(Increases Assertiveness & Confidence & Peacefulness)

Increases Stress & AnxietyDecreases Testosterone & Increases Cortisol –Decreases Assertiveness & Confidence

Our human physiology is designed to help us grow virtues so we can live in

society!

Based on Four Key Principles

The parent is the primary educator of the child.

Children are born in potential. Their natural qualities can develop into positive or negative traits depending on how they are educated in the early years.

Character develops as children learn to make responsible, moral choices.

Self-esteem is a natural outcome of living by virtues.

Every Child Is Born In Potential

Just as a seed is aspecific tree inpotential,

a child is a particular,fully independent human being, in potential.

Virtues

Is it ever too late?

NO!!

It is NEVER too late to begin

and it’s NEVER too early…

For Teachers -Is this an add on curriculum?

NO! This is not one more thing to add to your tightly scheduled day.

You INFUSE these strategies into what you are already doing to strengthen your tools and achieve enhanced results!

OUR GOALS FOR THIS WORKSHOP

To awaken your virtues

To teach you to see these gifts in others

To have you experience the Five Strategies™

To inspire you to apply these strategies in your professional and personal lives

What are our expectations?

• Give your best to each activity

• Follow the directions for each exercise

• Finish activities within allotted time frame

• Follow the boundaries that we establish

The A.R.T. of BoundariesAssertiveness

Respect

Trust

Do what is right for you

Be deeply present without advising, interrupting, rescuing, criticizing, teasing

Be worthy of trust. What we say here stays here.

INTERACTIVE INTRODUCTION1. Pick one partner.2. Choose who will be partner 1.3. Partner 1 ask partner 2 all the questions, listening for their virtues.4. Partner 1 acknowledge partner 2 for virtues you saw and heard. Write virtue on name tag. SwitchVIRTUE + EXAMPLE = VIRTUES ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

WRITE the virtues you saw on the Gem Tags!

What did youappreciate about

this activity?

THE FIVE STRATEGIES

• Speak the Language

• Recognize Teachable Moments

• Set Clear Boundaries

• Honor the Spirit

• Offer CompanioningTM

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have alreadypracticed all five

strategies!!

Dr. Dan PopovLinda Kavelin-Popov

John Kavelin

THE HISTORY

• Launched in1991• Three people• Response to school shooting and

youth violence in the US 1989• Began as a parenting program• Virtues the common thread• Soon discovered universal

application

Strategy One

SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF

VIRTUES

SPEAK VIRTUES LANGUAGE

Words are powerful Virtues Words speak straight

to the heart Focus on virtues, the intent

of the behavior we want.

Speak the Language - Acknowledge

Speak the Language - Guide

Speak the Language - Correct

• Speak the Language Exercise

• Work in groups of 4-5

Whisper Circle !!

ACTIVITY

RENAME AND REFRAME

Rename - Reframe

• Behavior that CHALLENGES you

• Rename the behavior as a VIRTUE

• What is the Virtue you want?

Strategy Two

RECOGNIZETEACHABLEMOMENTS

TEACHABLE MOMENTS ARE OPPORTUNITIES TO…

help virtues growsee virtues in any situationvirtues that need to be practicedvirtues that are happeningremember, there is always a

virtue

In Teachable Moments

Stop Shaming

Excellenc

e

Start Naming Virtues

What Destroys Conscience?• Shaming• Name-calling• Beating or hitting• Over-protecting• Over-punishing• Ignoring effort• Lack of clear boundaries

What Builds Conscience?

• Naming virtues

• Clear boundaries• The opportunity for

reparation• Acknowledging effort

The A.R.T. of BoundariesAssertiveness - Do what is right for you

Respect -

Trust -

Be deeply present without advising, interrupting, rescuing, criticizing, teasing

Be worthy of trust. What we say here stays here.

The Virtues PickPick a new partner. Decide who will go first.

Share something about what’s up in your life at this time (whatever you want to share about).

Read your virtue card aloud (both sides) and share how it is speaking to you.

Partner, companion in SILENCE with no cross talk.When first person finishes sharing, partner give VIRTUES ACKNOWLEGEMENT and write the virtues on their gem tag.

What did youappreciate about

this activity?

Strategy Three

SET CLEARBOUNDARIES

Boundaries Keep Us Safe

Clear boundaries are needed when we have a problem.

Clear boundaries are needed to create a safe and peaceful learning environment.

Do our boundaries address the problem?

If the answer is “no”-

?need to change it?

HOW TO SET A CLEAR BOUNDARY

What virtues are needed?

How do they need to be practiced? Be specific.

What are the consequences for not following through?

Guidelines for Establishing Clear Boundaries

1. Be Moderate2. Be Specific3. Be Positive - Virtues Based4. Have Specific, Relevant Consequences5. Make Consequences Educative6. Be Consistent7. Communicate Rules Clearly8. Be Sure Consequences are Understood9. Make Bottom Line Rules Non-Negotiable10. Make Expectations Clear

OUR CLASS/FAMILY COMMITMENT

• We are peaceful with our words and our actions.

• We are gentle with people and things.• We are respectful of people and things.• We are enthusiastic learners and always work

with excellence.

TRI-FOLD ACTIVITY• Fold a sheet of paper into thirds• Scribble in the left section, draw a

small square in the middle section, draw a large oval in the right section

• Each section represents a different family of origin. Write down words in each section to describe their family rules.

PRACTICE BOUNDARY WRITING

• Write a boundary for work • Remember, first identify the virtue

that is needed.

Boundaries are found in …

Vision statementsMission statements

PoliciesDiscipline Plans

Progress ReportsFamily Rules

Evaluations

Create a Virtues-Based Vision Statement

At Emerson School weare to

and creating a

atmosphere in which tostrive for

CommittedTolerance Unity

Peaceful

Excellence

And when the boundaries are violated…

PRACTICERESTORATIVE

JUSTICE

In Retributive Justice You are a Detective Asking …

•What was the crime?•Who did it?•How should they be punished?

In Restorative Justice You are a Mentor Asking All Involved…

•What happened?•Who was hurt?•What virtues were needed?•What amends can be made?

Restorative JusticeNaming virtues, not ShamingMentorship, not Censorship

Reflection, not rejectionRestitution, not retribution

Strategy Five

OFFERCOMPANIONING

OFFER COMPANIONING

This is the strategy that you use when someone else has a problem.

Compassion & Detachment

• Compassion is understanding & caring when someone is hurt or troubled. It is wanting to help, even if all you can do is listen and say kind words.

• Detachment is experiencing your feelings without letting them control. You choose how to react instead of just reacting. You use thinking & feeling together.

Getting to theHeart of the Matter

Offer Companioning to…

Is Not Is

What It Is and What It Is Not

A Fix Walk AlongA Rescue RespectCuring CaringAdvice PresenceSympathy Compassion & DetachmentTelling ListeningVictim-based Virtues-based

Don’t Get Furious.

Get Curious!

THE MAGIC WORDS

WHAT &

HOW

STEPS in the PROCESS

1. Open the Door

2. Offer receptive silence

3. Ask cup-emptying questions

4. Focus on perceptual cues (Heart of Matter)

5. Ask Virtues reflection questions

6. Ask closure & integration questions

7. Offer Virtues acknowledgments

Topics for Offering Companioning

• Something on my mind lately-(an unresolved situation…a joyful situation….)

• A challenge or concern in my life

• Something I’m excited about

• Something working on- (ex: what color to paint kitchen…. What to do on vacation…)

Spirit Walk

• Go outside- walk slowly & contemplatively, allowing your attention to become diffuse, open to whatever is drawn to you. (? Leaf, sky, fence….)

• Spend at least 10 minutes with it contemplatively then journal about what gift it has for you

• Share with someone–Offer Companioning

What did youappreciate about

this activity?

Strategy Four

HONOR THE SPIRIT

WHAT HONORS YOUR SPIRIT

What brings you joy?

What inspires you?

What renews your spirit?

What gives you energy?

What Re-

creates You?

Honor the Spirit

Mastery

Mystery

Meaning

Applications

•Organizational Assessment

•Leadership Development

•Creating a Vision Statement

•Creating a Mission Statement

•Cultural Change

VIRTUES VILLAGE

Inspiring virtues in the home, school, workplace and community!

For information on products and services :

www.virtuesvillagellc.com715 - 435 - 3922