Values and BeliefsSelf, Future and World

Core BeliefsUsually come in beliefs about not being worthless, unlovable or helpless

Core Beliefs

Not Good Enough

I am no good

I’m not good enough

I can’t do anything right

I’m unsuccessful

I’m not valuable

I’m inferior

I’m nothing

I’m worthless

I’m invisible

I’m insignificant

Core BeliefsNot Lovable

I’m not lovable

I’m unacceptable

I’m plain and dull

I’m not special

I’m ugly

I don’t matter

I am unworthy

I am not interesting enough

I will always be rejected

Core BeliefsHelpless

I’m inadequate

I’m incompetent

I can’t cope

I’m out of control

I can’t change

I’m week

I’m a failure

I’m will never measure up to others

I am powerless

Core Beliefs

Domain

About Self

About Others

About the World

About the Future

Beliefs

I’m unlovable as a person

“People are hurtful”

“The world is a dangerous place”

“There is no hope, things will never get better”

Rules

“In order to be loved, I must do whatever the other person wants”

“if I want to protect myself, I must not trust others”

“I must always be on my guard to avoid trouble”

“If I don’t try, then I won’t be disappointed”

Core BeliefsUsing Hot Thoughts to identify Core Beliefs

“Downward Arrow Technique”

1. Identify the hot thought

2. Ask IF that were true what would that say about:

a) You?

b) Others?

c) Your future?

Core BeliefsUsing Hot Thoughts to identify Core

Beliefs

“Downward Arrow Technique”

1. Identify the hot thought: I have nothing interesting to say

1. Ask if that were true what would that say about:

a) You? I’m boring

b) Others? People are not interested in me

c) Your future? I’ll die alone..I will always be unwanted

Core Beliefs

What did breaking down this thought just tell us

about this ?

Core BeliefsTHEY FEEL UNLOVABLE!!!

Note I did not say they ARE unlovable but FEEL unlovable

Can you relate to this feeling of unlovable?

In what ways?

Can you challenge the evidence of those situations to help to come to

realize this belief is based on irrational feelings ?

Together you must create a new balanced belief to help them

perceive things more realistic and positive and make healthier choices

for ourselves!

Hot Thought: I have nothing interesting to say

Conditional Assumption: If I avoid people, I will not get rejected

Core Belief: I’m unlikable

NEW BALANCED THOUGHTS:

NEW BALANCED THOUGHTS:

Hot Thought: I have interesting things to say about lots of things but not everything.

Conditional Assumption: If I meet people with similar interests, I will have more stimulating conversations

Core Belief: I’m likable and have things to offer