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Running Head: SHAPING PERCEPTIONS OF ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

The Role of The Bachelor in Shaping Perceptions of Romantic Relationships

Lane Savage, Emily Poling, and Anna Bruins

Central Michigan University


The Role of The Bachelor in Shaping Perceptions of Romantic Relationships

Nearly two weeks ago to date, a starry-eyed Ben Higgins proposed to the girl he “never

[wants] to say goodbye” to (“I never,” 2016, para. 4). At least 9.58 million people can name the

lucky girl to whom Higgins gave the $100,000 Neil Lane diamond ring (Lauren Bushnell, in case

any unenlightened were wondering), not counting the undoubtedly large numbers of Tweeters

and Facebook users who most likely heard of the joyous news via their social network platforms

(Porter, 2016, figure 1). Those who are ardent reality TV enthusiasts, and even those who have

only heard the names “Ben Higgins” and “Lauren Bushnell” in passing, are probably familiar

with the romantic sensation that essentially made them overnight stars: The Bachelor.

A reality dating game show that originally debuted on ABC in 2002, The Bachelor has

slowly risen to the top of the TV rating charts, initiating a string of spin-offs including The

Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, and Bachelor Pad. At its core, The Bachelor is indeed a

dating game show complete with an extensive elimination process, but it certainly isn’t lacking

the cattiness and tear-filled drama that inevitably occurs when reality TV and women with strong

personalities mix. At the beginning of each season, a pool of approximately twenty-five female

candidates is presented to the eligible bachelor, who slowly eliminates the women at the end of

every episode during a cocktail party. The participants attempt to win the bachelor’s interest

while engaging in both individual and group dates at exotic locations around the globe.

Eventually, two women remain, and the bachelor sends one girl home in favor of proposing to

the other, although a few seasons have ended without the bachelor getting down on one knee.

Two of our group members watched the entire twentieth season of The Bachelor, which

ended recently on March 14th, one of whom has been an avid viewer for approximately five years.

Throughout each of the episodes, we noticed that there seemed to be a consistent pattern of


language that the contestants used to discuss their relationship with the bachelor as well as past

romances that had ended. As some of the girls were beginning to grow closer to Higgins, they

each seemed to use phrases such as “I feel a connection” and “this journey has been amazing.”

When tensions began to build between the contestants and the bachelor, certain women as well

as Higgins himself questioned whether certain individuals were on the show “for the right

reasons.” The distinct and repeated set of words the contestants used made us question the

validity of the show’s so-called “reality.”

Our examinations are not novel, as the legitimacy of reality TV has been heavily debated

since its inception. Additionally, with the rise in popularity of shows like The Bachelor, studies

have attempted to evaluate the impact of reality TV on American society and young people in

particular. Despite the fact that clearly much of what appears on the show can hardly be

considered a “reality” in regards to dating and romance in the real world, many viewers remain

avid fans and dismiss the show as nothing more than pure entertainment. Especially for young

viewers, however, the ideals the show misleadingly portrays might potentially lead to unrealistic

expectations of romance and relationships, ending in disappointment when such impossible

standards are not met. Research that evaluates the impact The Bachelor has on popular

perceptions of romantic relationships does not currently exist.

Our objective was initially to further analyze the language patterns contestants on The

Bachelor and The Bachelorette use to describe their relationships with the leading male/female

and love in general. From our analysis, our study determined key words and phrases both male

and female contestants across multiple seasons use in romance-oriented conversation.

Ultimately, our goal was to determine whether frequent viewers of The Bachelor and The

Bachelorette are more likely to use language consistent with that found on the show when they


discuss romance from a personal standpoint, indicating that the show and others like it have a

profound impact on public perceptions of romance.

If our research suggests that there is indeed a correlation between how frequently young

people watch The Bachelor and how often they use Bachelor-esque language to describe their

own relationships, we will have contributed to the growing pile of evidence that disturbingly

indicates the profound impact reality TV can have on the vulnerable minds of young people. For

many individuals, and especially those within the ages of 18-25, finding a suitable mate to share

life’s joys and sorrows with is the epitome of a happy and successful existence. Love is arguably

the greatest thing a human can aspire to -- but what if the process of forming and keeping a

fruitful romantic relationship has the potential to be hindered by the deceivingly inaccurate

portrayals of love that reality shows such as The Bachelor portray? With American couples

already reporting alarmingly high rates of unhappiness and tension within their dating and

marriage relationships, the prospect of reality television further warping our potential to form

strong, long-lasting connections with prospective life partners is a disturbing and pressing

probability.

BACKGROUND AND SECONDARY RESEARCH

Since reality television has become such a dominant part of American entertainment,

researchers want to know what kind of effects this can have on our everyday lives. While people

may think it’s easy to distinguish between reality television and actual reality, it may not be as

simple to recognize as we may think. What we do everyday reflects who we are and how we

behave. So if we continually watch the same reality show, would we start to imitate the way the


television stars behave as well? While some may deny getting caught up in the drama of shows

such as The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, “to some extent, at least, our view of society is

shaped by what --and who --we watch” (Jacobs 2013, para. 16).

When viewers are affected by these shows, it can be due to the fact that it becomes hard

for them to tell the difference between a reality show and the real world we live in (Jacobs 2013,

para. 15). Researchers at Albion College in Michigan created a survey for married individuals

about their habits watching television and how this has affected their own feelings and

relationships. The results showed “participants who believe that couples on TV are true to life

are less committed in their own marriage: their survey responses indicate they are more likely to

cheat and less likely to stay in the marriage” (Rozenfeld 2013, para. 2). This study also found

that people who believe these shows are accurate representations of real life tend to think they

have high relationship costs, such as a less attractive spouse than they wanted, or less time for

themselves because of the relationship. While on the other hand, it seems that viewers who don’t

believe these reality shows are realistic don’t think they have as much of these costs (Rozenfeld

2013, para. 3). Similar conclusions were found by author Heidi Reeder. She says the more reality

television a person watches, the more they realize the better alternatives to their marriage, and

similarly, their commitment to their marriage will be lower (Reeder 2013, para. 3). In the same

way, “if you believe that what you see on The Bachelor is an accurate representation of

relationships, you’ll tend see a world where there is an abundance of romantic options” (Reeder

2013, para. 4).

In fact, researchers Karyn Riddle and J.J. De Simmone from the University of Wisconsin

did a study on just how much people believe is real from reality shows. They surveyed people

who watch reality television such as The Real Housewives and Jersey Shore about their


perceptions on these shows and how they think the world is compared to them. The results

showed that there’s an overestimation of the kind of drama in the show that the surveyees

thought was present in the real world (Jacobs 2013, para. 12).

Reality television can change the way we think more than we may realize. Studies

specifically focusing on reality romance television find these changes in our perceptions due to

the amount of time we spend watching these shows. Even politicians “worry programs like The

Bachelor will influence viewers’ ideas about the institution of marriage. And these days,

marriage is nothing if not political” (Brophy-Bearmann 2005, p. 21). Most episodes of The

Bachelor and The Bachelorette end with a proposal. Because of how fast and unusual the show

is, the way we view the meaning of marriage and love can be altered.

Each season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, contestants travel across the globe to

exotic destinations while competing with other people for the one bachelor or bachelorette. This

is so far from real life dating and more like a free vacation. All of these trips “add to the

fantastical atmosphere in which the contestants are expected to fall in love. When one feels they

are living in a fantasy, the conditions for love are even more heightened, making it that much

easier to feel the effects of romance” (Shedd, 2013, p. 9). Not only does this affect the emotions

and perceptions of the contestants, but also the viewers watching from across America. Watching

television shapes the way viewers react in situations similar to the ones they see on television

shows. Similarly to people who watch violence on television and become desensitized to

violence in real life, “people who watch romantic programming develop unrealistic ideas about

real-life romantic relationships” (Vitelli, 2013, para. 8). The situations the contestants are put

through on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette make love seem like a fairytale where the

bachelor is viewed as the hero and the show is a journey of love (Shedd, 2013, p. 11). After


exotic dates such as flying a helicopter over a remote island, or cliff jumping, contestants tend to

feel as if they were the luckiest person in the world or as if they felt like a princess because of all

of the special treatment they receive. But what slips our minds as we watch contestants on the

show go on dates like these is just that: it’s a show. The situations on the shows “are so evident

in our own culture that we typically come to accept them as true; they become the myths by

which we live” (Shedd, 2013, p. 12).

Not all of these shows portray relationships in such a fairytale way, however. Studies

suggest that people who watch reality romance shows such as The Bachelor and The

Bachelorette “are more likely than non-watchers to view dating as a game, to drink alcohol on

dates, and to view age peers as being more sexually active” (Vitelli 2013, para. 5).

There’s something about these shows that makes them seem almost predictable. For

instance, The Bachelor can be compared to online dating. Guys look for specific qualities in

women that makes them girlfriend/wife material. The showmakers find girls with these qualities

and present them to the bachelor to choose from. Bachelor logic can be described as simple as “I

want someone in possession of X qualities. Y is in possession of X qualities. Therefore, I want

Y” (Nardi 2013, para. 6-9). Even certain phrases are repeated by both the bachelors,

bachelorettes, and contestants. Some of these include “I’m really starting to feel something for

him,” “we have a real connection,” I didn’t expect to fall in love,” “My walls are really starting

to come down,” and “I didn’t know I could feel this way” (Newlin 2012, para. 8-33).

So if reality shows are altering the way we view relationships and love while

simultaneously repeating the same phrases to describe how contestants feel, we wondered if The

Bachelor and The Bachelorette were also impacting the way we describe love. Currently, there


seems to be no research specifically focused on the language viewers use who watch these reality

dating shows.

PRIMARY RESEARCH METHODS AND FINDINGS

In order to determine what kind of correlation, if any, exists between those who regularly

watch The Bachelor and how those individuals described romantic relationships, we decided to

conduct a detailed survey. This survey included two questions about relationships with one

possible answer using dialect heavily used in The Bachelor, a few questions relating if and how

often the participant watched The Bachelor and other related shows, and several other questions

relating to other possibly influential factors, such as age, gender, and sexual orientation. Our

hypothesis is that those who watch The Bachelor will be more likely to choose the answers

related to the language used on the show. After deciding the layout of the questions, we used an

online forum to create the survey and then distributed it to friends and family using social media,

such as Facebook and Twitter.


Figure 1 displays the relationship between how often an individual watched The Bachelor and

which adjective from a provided list of options the individual chose to describe an ideal romantic

partner. Before organizing the data into a graph, the amount of responses for each option of

watching The Bachelor was calculated into a percentage so that each could be equally compared

to one another. Genuine, which was the adjective used as a word commonly used on the show,

was the most popular answer overall. However, those who had never watched the show or had

only seen a few episodes were the dominating groups who chose this word. On the other hand,

those who regularly watched the show were more likely to choose the word honest instead.

Figure 2 shows the relationship between phrases chosen to describe falling in love versus how

often an individual watches The Bachelor, as shown in percentages, like the previous figure. The

phrase starting with “You feel a strong connection” was the one geared toward those who

frequently watch the show; however, those who watched multiple seasons of the show more


often chose the phrase starting with “You feel completely comfortable.” This phrase was also

the most common answer from all stages of watching the show. Interestingly, those who stated

that they used to watch The Bachelor had the greatest percentage of those who chose the

Bachelor-related phrase.

Figure 3 displays the relationship between choosing the best reason for a breakup versus how

often The Bachelor is watched. For this survey question, the breakup answer related to the

language on the show was “not dating for the right reasons.” This was the most popular answer

overall, and the greatest percentage of those who have watched multiple seasons of the show


chose this answer. However, an almost identical percentage of those who have never watched

the show chose this answer as well.

DISCUSSION

At first glance, the ultimate answer to the correlation between watching The Bachelor and

how one speaks about love and romance is that there isn’t one. Out of all three figures relating

these two variables, only one showed the greatest percentage of those who watched multiple

seasons of the show choosing the answer that included language from the show (Figure 3).

Because we would have expected that all three of these figures would have shown these pattern

if a strong correlation existed, this suggests that such a correlation does not exist. However, the

most interesting findings from our survey was the demographic that actually did choose the

answers influenced by The Bachelor. Ironically, those who have never or sparsely watched the

show were more likely to choose The Bachelor answers—the percentage of these individuals

was either equal to or greater than the percentage of frequent watchers for all three of the posed

questions.

But how is it possible that those who have never watched the show more often chose the

answers crafted with the language from the show? Perhaps, despite our hopeful hypothesis, that

The Bachelor does not play a significant influence on how people describe love and romance, at

least not in the way that we first thought. Nevertheless, as any statistician would say, correlation

does not necessarily mean causation—or more appropriate for this scenario, no correlation does

not mean no causation. In other words, just because our findings do not directly show a

correlation between The Bachelor and the one’s language of romance, this does not prove that

there is no correlation whatsoever. Rather, further analysis and experimentation would be

needed to support such a claim.


Even though our data does not explicitly disclose a strong correlation between the

frequency with which people watch The Bachelor and the likelihood they use Bachelor- skewed

language, there is still a strong probability that The Bachelor and shows like it have the potential

to disturb our perceptions of dating and relationships in the real world, if only on a micro-level

scale. Even so, it is nearly impossible to discern whether the romantic situations the show depicts

are a reflection of what is truly occurring in our society or if our society itself is shifting its

values as a result of these so-called dating game shows that dismiss romance as a mere

irrationality. Indeed, if we take for granted the manner in which The Bachelor represents

relationships, it becomes easier to “see a world where there is an abundance of romantic options”

(Reeder, 3013, para. 4), a pattern of thought author Heidi Reeder deems dangerous because its

inaccuracies are nearly devoid of real-world truths.

The situation at hand – determining whether romantic reality affects romantic

entertainment or vice versa – is likely less of a chicken-and-egg situation and more of a bold and

revelatory statement that serves as the most accurate depiction of what is truly occurring in

reality. As a society, our attitudes towards romance are extremely susceptible to change, a truth

that history itself clearly supports. And in a culture that is largely media-regulated and

entertainment-oriented, it would be safe to assume that the television shows we choose to watch

are in some way affecting our thought processes, if not our speech patterns. In turn, the morals

The Bachelor depicts passes from viewers back to the show producers, who are actively looking

to increase ratings by appealing to the values that said viewers consider to be a reality.

Our secondary resources all came to similar conclusions: what we watch affects how we

act. Reality television can sometimes make it difficult for viewers to distinguish between real life

and life portrayed through these unrealistic shows (Vitelli 2013, para. 5). While research has


already shown how these reality romance television shows have influenced the way we think

about love and our expectations of relationships, our research was done to see if there was any

correlation between these shows and the language viewers use. Our research ended up not

supporting or disproving a connection from watching The Bachelor or The Bachelorette and the

words viewers use to describe love and relationships. But even though our speech patterns may

not be changing, there is research already done to support how our thought patterns have indeed

been influenced by reality television.

Growing up, children are always observing the world around them. They soak in

anything and everything they see and hear and when they are nearly two years of age, they start

talking. Children talk and act so similarly to their parents and close people in their lives because

people constantly around them have a great influence on the way they think and behave. We are

constantly learning throughout our lives. People who watch reality television observe these

shows and learn the way people on the television talk and act. Similar to how children absorb

things we do in our culture, viewers may also find themselves behaving or thinking in similar

ways to the people they see on television. Even though there is no perfect way to prove this

happens, the effects are convincing.


References

Brophy-Bearmann, M. (2005). True love on TV: A gendered analysis of reality-romance

television. Poroi. Retrieved from

http://ir.uiowa.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1023&context=poroi

Jacobs, T. (2013, September 13). Reality TV may warp viewers’ perception of actual reality.

Pacific Standard. Retrieved from

http://www.psmag.com/books-and-creality-tv-warps-viewers-perception-actual-reality-6

239ulture/

Nardi, S. (2013, March 19). The Bachelor: A shitty reality show that actually portrays a shitty

reality. READER. Retrieved from

http://www.chicagoreader.com/Bleader/archives/2013/03/19/the-bachelor-a-shitty-realit

-show-that-actually-portrays-a-shitty-reality

Newlin, L. (2012, January 18). The most overused lines on the Bachelor (and why I love them).

Seriously? Retrieved from

http://lisanewlin.com/2012/01/the-most-overused-lines-on-the-bachelor-and-why-i-love-

hem/

Reeder, H. (2013, February 26). Is “The Bachelor” Hurting Your Relationship? In Psychology

Today. Retrieved from


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/i-can-relate/201302/is-the-bachelor-hurting-you

-relationship

Rozenfeld, M. (2013, March 1). TV romance can affect real-life marriage. Scientific American.

Retrieved from

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/tv-romance-can-affect-real-life-marriage/

Shedd, S. (2013, May). “This Whole Quest for Love”: The Role of Narrative in The Bachelor.

Conversations. Retrieved from

http://ojs.acu.edu/ojs/index.php/conversations/article/view/6/2

Vitelli, R. (2013, October 28). Is there a “Snooki Effect”? Psychology Today. Retrieved from

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/media-spotlight/201310/is-there-snooki-effect

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