ways you can help your child relax - friends early · ways you can help your child relax ... every...

B.C. FRIENDS Parent Program – The FORCE Society for Kids’ Mental Health and Ministry of Children and Family Development

Copyright 2013 - Early Years

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Ways You Can Help Your Child Relax

Body Cues A good first step is to help your child to understand what is happening inside of his body when he experiences different types of feelings (e.g. anger – stiff and tight, worried – butterflies in stomach, etc.) Encourage your child to practice ‘taking charge’ of his body through the use of relaxation strategies. Engaging in relaxation helps to calm bodies and helps to manage feelings in a more positive way. Share examples of body clues. Let your child know that these signs are your body’s way of telling you how you are feeling. Notice your child’s physical complaints and when they occur. If he complains of a tummy ache/headache etc, remind him that it might be his body’s way of telling him something. (For example “I notice that when I mention going to school you say you feel sick in the tummy. Could this mean that you are feeling worried about school?”)

Model relaxation It is also important that you make time for yourself and find your own relaxing activities. Make a list of the things you can do to feel good and relax. When you notice yourself feeling stressed or worried, try out one of those activities. It could be something as simple as making a cup of tea, or sitting in the sun by the window. Tell your child what you are doing to relax, and how much better you feel afterwards.

Creative Visualization Sit still and close your eyes for a period of time (e.g. 1-2 minutes) – You may wish to describe a calm and relaxing place so your child can picture it in his mind, or his favorite place. Gradually, you can have your child tell you what he is imagining himself (What do you see? hear? smell? etc..) and how he felt afterwards. Over time you can increase the length of relaxation time. Repeat this visualization exercise regularly so that it becomes more comfortable and familiar.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation * See page 4 for a script for young children Have your child lay down and tighten and then relax parts of his body. It can help to have your child close his eyes and take a few deep breaths before beginning. You may wish to read a progressive relaxation script that guides your child through the various muscle groups one at a time. Children learn the difference between feeling tense (stiff like a robot) and relaxed (like a floppy jellyfish or ragdoll). Explain to your child that sometimes our muscles become tense (e.g. jaw clenched, shoulders up high, neck tight) when we are feeling worried or frustrated. When we notice this, we can help ourselves feel better by relaxing our muscles. Encourage your child to do this activity on his own before bedtime.



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Quiet Time & Enjoyable Activities Another way your child can feel more relaxed is to do something he enjoys and finds relaxing. Every child is different so talk with your child and identify what is relaxing for him. Below is a list of activities your child might find helps him feel better and switch gears:

- Create a place where your child can feel safe and relaxed. It might be in your room, or a corner that you create together. This place should have books with beautiful pictures or a box of photos of fun memories, craft ideas (gluing, coloring, play dough, felt pens, scissors, stapler, paper, water colors, stuffed animals, magazine pictures for gluing, beading material, etc.). Put on some music-either classical or upbeat music like Raffi or Charlotte Diamond.

- Play in water; this can mean a bubble bath, in the sink with a few toys or in the sink with a glass that has

water and dish soap and a straw to blow bubbles. If it is warm outside, run through the sprinkler or wade in a pool.

- Go for a walk together-any form of exercise helps, Pick flowers, throw rocks in the water, roll down a

hill, walk on a log or the curb (with help), listen to the birds.

- Pat the dog or cat.

- Jump on a trampoline.

- Play “sushi” (roll up your child in a soft blanket like you are making as sushi roll, pretend to put ginger, wasabi, and soya sauce on top and eat her in a silly way).

- Snuggle with your child. Read a story together.

- Have a small object like a wonderful stone, or a smooth colorful jewel that your child can carry with

him.

- Make a tiny doll or person with/for your child out of a stick or rolled paper and material. Have your

child whisper all his worries to this doll/person and put it under his pillow or carry it with him in his pocket.

- Massage your child’s back or feet. This can be very relaxing before bed.

- Make a recording of your child’s favorite story for him to listen to when you are busy. They will be

comforted by your voice.



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Milkshake Breathing Provide your child a plastic cup with a straw so that he can practice his milkshake breathing. Fill the cup 1/3rd full with water. Your child breathes in deeply through their nose and breathes out slowly through the straw. Encourage him to blow SMALL bubbles in the cup very gently – he’ll know they have it right if they make gentle bubbles without spilling any water. Have your child practice at least five times and set them little challenges (e.g. how long they can keep the bubbles going for in a single breath, see if you can keep your bubbles going while you count backwards from 4, etc). These techniques gives your child visual and auditory feedback (seeing and hearing the bubbles), and makes the concept more concrete.

Milkshake Breathing Song – to the tune of ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ Teach your child a song about Milkshake Breathing to help them learn what to do.

Sing together: “We can fill our lungs with air, like we’ve got balloons in there. Then we breathe out soft and slow, making bubbles as we go. Milkshake breathing is so fun, it’s for me and everyone.”

Calm Breathing Ask your child to lie flat on the floor on his back and place one hand on his chest and the other hand on his stomach. Then instruct your child to take a slow breath in through his nose for 4 counts, hold his breath for 2 counts, and then release the air for 4 counts through his mouth. Your child’s hand on the belly should rise and fall. Children may also enjoy putting a stuffed animal on their bellies and watching it rise and fall, reinforcing that they are doing the exercise correctly.

Abdominal breathing is an effective technique for calming the breathing and reducing anxiety symptoms. Calm, slow breathing reduces your heart rate and calms you down, but needs to be continued for a while (likely about 15-20 breaths). This is a technique children can use in a wide range of situations where they might be feeling nervous. Explain to your child that we can help ourselves feel calm and relaxed just by changing the way we breathe.



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Muscle Relaxation Script for Young Children

Here is a script you might read to your child as he is going to bed. You could play some relaxing music. Speak

in a calm and slow voice. You could even record your voice and play this back to your child when he goes to

sleep at night. Start with a story book, maybe even a backrub, then dim the lights and read the relaxation

script. Have your child close his eyes, lie down, or sit comfortably:

Now make your hands into fists. Go on - really squeeze those fists. Feel that tight feeling … and now go floppy. Enjoy that lovely floppy feeling.

Make your hands into tight fists again and bring your hands up to touch your shoulders. Feel that tight feeling along your arms. Feel the tight feeling… and now relax. Enjoy that lovely floppy feeling.

Now relax your arms, letting them hang loosely by your side. Push your shoulders up and try and touch your ears. Go on - really push upwards. Feel that tight feeling in your shoulders (hold for 5 seconds). Feel the tight feeling and relax. Enjoy that lovely floppy feeling.

This time scrunch up your face. Really scrunch up your face. Feel that tight feeling in your face …. and relax. Enjoy that lovely floppy feeling.

Now make your tummy muscles tight go on really tighten those muscles. Feel that tight feeling. Feel the tight feeling ….. and relax. Enjoy that lovely floppy feeling.

Push your tummy forward this time. Make your back arch. Feel the tight feeling all along your back. Feel that tight feeling… and relax. Enjoy that lovely floppy feeling.

Tighten the muscles in your legs. Feel those muscles tightening. Feel that tight feeling… and relax. Now feel that tight feeling along your arms. Feel the tight feeling… and relax. Enjoy that lovely floppy feeling.

Now make your toes into fists - really scrunch up those toes. Feel that tight feeling - feel the tight feeling …

and relax. Enjoy that lovely floppy feeling.

Take a deep breath and hold that breath. Feel that tight feeling in your chest - feel the tight feeling … and now let the breath out slowly and feel all the tightness go away. Enjoy that lovely floppy feeling. Keep your eyes closed. We are going to check each part of your body to see if there is any tightness. Think of your hands and arms -- If there is any tightness, just let go of it. Now check your shoulders, neck and face -- if you find any tightness, just let go. Check your back and shoulders, your legs and feet --i f you find any tension just let go.

You should now be feeling wonderful and relaxed and floppy. Just enjoy that wonderful feeling and when you feel ready open your eyes.

ways you can help your child relax - friends early · ways you can help your child relax ... every...

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