wanchors episode 1 -- party

7/27/2019 Wanchors Episode 1 -- Party

1/7

WANCHORS

Episode One

by

Tom Gran and Martin Woolley


2/7

FADE IN:

EXT. BOTTOM OF THE SEA - EVENING

A sea mine floats in the murky depths, held in place by

dozens of rusty weights and anchors.

Booming 80s rap echoes from within.

INT. MINE, LIVING ROOM - CONTD

Music blares from a boom box sat on top of a treasurechest.

The damp interior of the mine has been crudely decoratedwith old rugs and salvaged bits of furniture. Band posters

and photos of girls torn from magazines partially cover themany warning signs stuck around the mines explosive core.

In the middle of the room, SHRIMP and PRESTON hold CHADupside-down as he chugs beer from a keg through a snorkel.

PRESTONCHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

SHRIMPCHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

CHAD finishes the keg. They flip him onto his feet,cheering and exchanging high-fives.

PRESTONMan, Im pumped.

He karate chops a table -- it remains unbroken.

SHRIMPYou better be! I dunno how yousuckers do it on the surface butyou aint seen nothin til youvepartied at 20,000 leagues.Tonight, youre both gonna bejoining the mile deep club --know what Im sayin?

CHAD and PRESTON exchange looks of wild-eyed excitement.

CHADCome on, b-bags! Lets book!

He staggers towards the front door, pulling on an olddiving helmet. WHAM! He slips on a discarded dumbbell andface-plants into the wall of the mine. The glass front ofthe helmet shatters and CHAD reels round, blood drippingfrom his shard-studded face.

PRESTON and SHRIMP guffaw.


3/7

PRESTONHey Chad, think fast!

He yanks a rug out from under CHADs feet -- WHAM! He slamshis face against the edge a mini-fridge.

They laugh louder, SHRIMP slamming his webbed fist againstthe table.

EXT. UNDER THE SEA - CONTD

SHRIMP leads the way towards the surface, PRESTON and CHADfollow, dressed in scuba gear. CHAD pulls a shard of glassfrom his forehead.

CHADYou guys are total dick holes!

You owe me like thirty bucks forthat mini-fridge. Plus anotherten for the beers inside causethat junks gonna be warm by thetime we get back and if you thinkIm gonna drink warm beer you-

PRESTON cuts him off.

PRESTONYo, Shrimp, are we there yet?

SHRIMP comes to a stop.

SHRIMPHang on, lemme check the address.

He pulls out a sheet of paper from his jacket pocket. Itimmediately disintegrates. SHRIMP watches, blank faced.

CHADHey, are we headed for thesurface? I thought we were gonnaparty in the depths. Why are wegoin to the surface?

SHRIMPCause you went and cut yourdumbass face and now were beinfollowed by fuckin sharks.

He gestures behind them.

A gaggle of sharks in glam-rock biker gear pursue them,following the trail of CHADs blood.

SHARK

Hey, my brothers, come chill withus.

2.


4/7

SHARK 2Were gonna do something really80s.

SHRIMP turns away from them.

SHRIMPBut my bro Ray is throwin aprimo blow out on his yacht.Dont worry, dudes, your boyShrimps gonna hook you up.

EXT. OCEAN SURFACE - CONTD

The trio emerge from the water, CHAD and PRESTON pullingoff their helmets. They look up -- a huge luxury yachtdecorated with balloons and party banners looms over them.

Wild music echoes from on deck.

SHRIMPYou hear that? This is my jam!

PRESTONNice.

CHADSo how do we get up there?

PRESTONI got an idea. Put on yourhelmet.

As CHAD does so, PRESTON sneakily removes the tube fromCHADs oxygen tank, puts the end against his ass and letsrip.

CHADAAGH! DUDE!

SHRIMP and PRESTON laugh. CHAD yanks off his stinky helmet.

PRESTON

Hahaha ok, ok, sorry, man. Put itback on lets do this.

CHAD slots it back on his head.

PFRRRT! PRESTON farts down the tube again.

PRESTON (CONTD)Hahaha!

SHRIMPHahahaha!

CHADDUDE! WEAK! COME ON!

CHAD pulls off his helmet and throws it aside as the otherscontinue to laugh.

3.


5/7

CHAD (CONTD)I swear you guys, Im gonnafuckin lose it if you-

PRESTONHaha, chill, dude, Im just

messin with you. Come on.

PRESTON pulls on his helmet. CHAD eyes him scepticallybefore retrieving his own and jamming it onto his head.

FEWP! SHRIMP farts down the tube.

CHADAAAGH! MAN! ITS ALL FISHY! IMGONNA BARF! DUDE!

SHRIMP and PRESTON laugh even harder.

PRESTONHahahaha. Ok. Ok. Lets just usethat ladder.

He points to a ladder on the side of the yacht. CHADscowls.

SRIMPPft. Ladders are for zeeks. Checkit!

KA-DOOSH! SHRIMP leaps from the sea like a majestic salmon.

PRESTONWord!

He attempts to propel himself out of the water and slamshead first into the hull of the boat.

EXT. YACHT DECK - CONTD

Music plays. A swarm of kids sit in front of a stage,transfixed. A clown dances back and forth behind an

upturned top hat on a table. He approaches the hat, wavinghis hands mysteriously, ready to conjure something fromwithin.

CLOWNOk, birthday boy, make a wish-

SHRIMP lands on deck, flattening the top hat and table andlanding on his ass.

The kids scream. The CLOWN screams. SHRIMP screams at theCLOWN. The CLOWN screams back. SHRIMP slips over and falls

into the kids. The kids scream again.

4.


6/7

The kids flee, running to the edge of the yacht. They skidto a stop as they come face to face with CHAD and PRESTON,bloodied, mad-eyed and draped in seaweed pulling themselvesonto the deck.

The kids scream louder.

CHAD turns and vomits onto PRESTON.

PRESTONDude, dont ralph on me!

He punches CHAD in the face -- CHADs head whips round,spraying the screaming kids with puke. SHRIMP runs towardsthem, slips on the vomit and collides with a huge,extravagant birthday cake.

WHAM! The cabin door flies open and a man in glasses and aNUMBER ONE DA

D t-shirt emerges, a cocktail glass in onehand.

DADSHARK!

He points at SHRIMP, who flops on the floor like a beachedflounder.

SHRIMPSay what?!

NUMBER ONE DAD throws aside the glass and grabs a shotgun.

DADBOYS! GET DOWN!

The kids hit the deck as the DAD fires wildly, blasting ahole clean through the yachts floor. The DAD shouts as herepeatedly reloads and fires.

DAD (CONTD)NO! SHARKS! AT! MY! SONS!BIRTHDAY! EXTRAVAGANZA!

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! He continues to fire, taking outdecorations, windows and the CLOWN.

The terrified kids continue to scream as the ship lurchesdownwards. The DAD stops firing and looks down -- hes upto his knees in sea water.

DAD (CONTD)NO WATER ON MY BOAT!

He cocks his gun and fires at the water. The floor givesway under him and he disappears into the drink.

5.


7/7

EXT. UNDER THE SEA - CONTD

The yacht plummets toward the bottom of the sea. PRESTONand CHAD scream silently from inside, their faces pressedup against a porthole as the boat collides with the seabed.

DOONK DOONK! A fishy hand knocks on the outside of theporthole -- PRESTON and CHAD stop screaming and look up.SHRIMP, standing casually outside the wrecked ship gesturesto the right.

We pan across -- a second wrecked yacht is embedded in thesea floor right next to them, booming music and flashingneon lights emanating from the banging party within.

CHAD and PRESTON grin and thumbs-up each other.

EXT. UNDER THE SEA - LATER

The three of them party hard on the deck of the sunkenyacht.

SHRIMP and CHAD high-five.

SHRIMPSee I told you I get us to a phatparty!

PRESTON downs a beer and crushes the can on his forehead.He looks up and catches his reflection in CHADs helmet.

PRESTONHey guys. Wheres my scubagear?

FADE OUT.

6.

wanchors episode 1 -- party

Documents