volume 6 no 3 2005

VOLUME 6 • NO. 3 • 2005

Good Grief

Sisters of St. Joseph of the Third Order of St. Francis

MISSION STATEMENT

OF THE SISTERS OF ST. JOSEPH

OF THE THIRD ORDER

OF ST. FRANCIS

Dedication to Jesus Christ involves us

intimately in the liberating and reconciling

mission—to make God more deeply known

and loved, and in so doing, draw all persons

to fuller and freer life.

Together with all our sisters and brothers

who strive for a more just world, we under-

take those activities which will promote the

material and spiritual development of the

human family.

Gathering Place

is published to keep

the public informed

of the mission and

ministry of the Sisters

of St. Joseph of the

Third Order of

St. Francis.

EDITORReneta E.Webb, Ph.D., CAE

EDITORIAL BOARDSr. Carolyn BronkSr. Judith David

Dr. Arlene LennoxSr. Marygrace Puchacz

Sr. Jane Zoltek

PROOFING STAFFSr. Mary Adalbert StalSr. Dolores Mary Koza

Sr. Louise Szerpicki

PRODUCTION & LAYOUTNewcomb Marketing Solutions/

The Printed Word

OFFICEPublic Relations Office

P.O. Box 388129Chicago, IL 60638-8129

Telephone: 1-773-581-7505Fax: 1-773-581-7545

Web site: www.ssj-tosf.orge-mail: [email protected]

Copyright by the Sisters of St. Joseph of the Third Order of St. Francis, Inc.

Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited.

9/11, the tsunami in Indonesia, hunger in Sudan, bombing in Bali,

the earthquake in Peru, the war in Iraq, Hurricanes Katrina and

Rita in the U.S., bombings in Madrid and London, Hurricanes Stan

and Wilma in Mexico, the earthquake in Pakistan—the whole earth

is in grief and loss. Add to that the individual scenarios of

heartbreak and loss experienced each day. How can one bear

such grief?

Jesus came to show us the great mystery proclaimed by God from the very beginning. The

voice of God boomed over the chaos,“Let there be light!” Jesus, too, showed us that there

is resurrection after death. There is new life after loss.

The loss does not disappear. We go through grief. At times, we are fortunate enough

to have companions in our grief who help us honor that which was lost and embrace a

new portion of that which remains. Companions open our vision and guide us to new

possibilities.

This issue, celebrating Good Grief, recognizes the reality of grief, loss and pain, but brings

the assurance of God’s command,“Let there be light!”

Good Grief

VOLUME 6 • NO. 3 • 2005

FEATURES Good Grief 2

Grief can be redeemed and redeeming. Loss and grief are a part of life—loss of a

loved one, loss of property, friends, independence.This issue will focus on dealing with

loss in light of the Resurrection. Grief is a necessary part of moving to new life.

Companions in Grief 6

Moses needed help in keeping his arms up in prayer. Attentive to his

need, friends came and, without saying very much, held his arms. Mary stood

silently under the cross, sharing the grief of a dying Jesus.That is the way

companions in grief provide a helpful presence in the journey through loss.

Ministry in Grief 9

Sister Betty Gulick

Sister Helen Huellmantel

Sister Margaret Trzebiatowski

Sister Rose Grabowski

Table ofContents

In response to readers’ requests,

we are including the names of the

sisters as they were known before

the return to baptismal names.Good

Grie

fLetter from

the President 1

Vocation/Formation 21

Rebecca Powell — Pre-Candidate

In the News 22

Groundbreaking in Bartlett

Development 23

Perpetual Light 23

Sister Albinette Block

Sister Mary Daniel Sutula

Sister Mary Alphonsine Niczkowski

DEPARTMENTS

1 Vol. 6 No. 3

Dear Friends,

It’s autumn and we are deep into fall in northwest Wisconsin.Things may look different, depending on where you are living, but here, fall is nature’s time of loss—the trees shed their leaves, the sun’s warmth declines daily, skies darken, and birdsleave for milder climates. But there are few, if any, signs of grief.

Grief is intimately connected with remembering. Our consciousness of the good,the beautiful, and the true in our life, and the remembrance of all that has beentreasured and loved in the past, are the requisites for grieving.

In grieving, we know the loss. But is there anything for us beyond the knowing?Three authors— the first one, novelist Geraldine Brooks; the second, over manyyears a favorite of mine, essayist and poet Rainer Marie Rilke; and the last, arecently encountered poet, Richard Fife—all grapple with this “more” in disparategenres, but arrive at the same mystery. I share them with you, because it is fromthem that I draw both faith and insight into the meaning of this fall, this November,this time of loss and grieving.

A Year of Wonders, a novel by Geraldine Brooks, records the events of 1666 in asmall English village. Led by their minister in a gallant act of self-sacrifice, the villagechose to quarantine itself and all its residents during an outbreak of bubonicplague in order to prevent the spread of the fatal disease.Throughout the story,the heroine Anna Frith faces grief and loss of almost unimaginable proportions.Each loss, however, brings with it the opportunity to choose despair or reneweddedication.Anna’s strength of character sustains her through her grief, and thememories of her losses take her to new heights of personal maturity and spiritualdevelopment.

Alternately, in a short essay taken from The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigg, RainerMarie Rilke describes what it takes to create a single verse, using the same themesfound in Brooks’ novel: living life intensely, that is, truly encountering love, birth,and death. He closes with the lines:

...And still it is not yet enough to have memories. One must be able to forgetthem when they are many and one must have the great patience to wait untilthey come again. For it is not yet the memories themselves. Not till they haveturned to blood within us, to glance and gesture, nameless and no longer to bedistinguished from ourselves—not till then can it happen that in a most rarehour the first word of a verse arises in their midst and goes forth from them.

And Richard Fife, in “Memories Can Tell Us Only What We Were,” ends his poem withthe same hopeful message that whatever seems to be lost, in reality lives on in us:

Memories can tell us only what we wereIn company with those we loved;It cannot help us find out what each of us,Alone, must now become.Yet, no person is really alone;Those who live no more still echoWithin our thoughts and words,And what they did has becomeWoven into what we are.

Your sister,

Jeanne Conzemius, SSJ-TOSFPresident

~ S o u r c e s o f G r i e f ~

The news is filled with images of people sobbing in grief, bent in anguish, falling into the

arms of anyone who would console them. There are graphic examples of natural disas-

ters, battlefield statistics, broken hearts, financial calamities, victims of crime and innocent

lives threatened and lost. Grief tears at the heart of our very being. We lose sight of any

options. We feel helpless and alone.

Psychologists tell us that there are more than forty events that can create grief. Topping

the list are the death of a loved one, divorce, estrangements, loss of personal freedom,

financial loss, loss of health, and personal injury. To some degree, in every day of our lives,

we all have experienced loss and grief.

~ T h e S t a t e o f G r i e f ~

Grief is an inner experience that takes us to the very heart of life itself. It starts out with

a sense of numbness, the sense that none of this is real. There is a temporary lack of

understanding of the full impact of what is happening. When the waves of reality break

on our consciousness, panic mixes with a sense of anger and vexation. Our vision is dulled

by a sense of helplessness, emptiness, loneliness, self-accusation or despair. Sometimes

Good Grief

3 Vol. 6 No. 3

guilt takes hold — If only we could have done

more, been nicer, not left home, etc. The state of

grief leaves our hearts broken and our hands

empty. It is a state that prepares us to be filled.

Grief is an altered state of consciousness. We are

torn away from old ways of thinking and familiar

patterns of living. We are drawn into what

Mircea Eliade refers to as “the Great Time”

where clock time is suspended and even bodily

needs are neglected.

~ G o o d G r i e f ~

Grief is good. It figures into a larger plan in our lives. We don’t always know why, or how

the grieving events will change us or others. “And your own soul a sword shall pierce so

that the secret thoughts of many will be revealed.” (Luke 2:35) Mary “kept all these

things, pondering them in her heart,” Scripture tells us. We, too, must hold and embrace

the moment of grief as a gift. We are invited, like Mary, to enter into all the feelings and

reactions associated with grief—the feelings of sadness and helplessness, the tears shed,

the confusion. These are normal, human reactions to loss. When we understand that

other grieving people have similar thoughts, feelings and physical sensations, we can be

assured that what we are going through is completely normal.

Good Grief

“And your o wn soul a sword shall pierce so that

the secret thoughts of many will be revealed.”

(Luke 2:35)

Grief breaks us open for new life.When the structures of our lives are settled into stag-

nation, the grief that comes from loss opens possibilities and options. Grief propels us

into an altered state of consciousness — a way of looking at life — in ways that we would

not have been capable of shaping. Grief becomes the gateway to a new consciousness.

It is only when we can turn toward new life that grief is truly redeemed. This “turning

around” — in Greek, metanoia — is a necessary movement toward joy. If we are trapped

in the direction of the grieving event, we will forever be caught in despair. If, in the

strength and love of the people who journey with us, and in trust of a loving God, we turn

around, we will throw our arms open to the new life that awaits us. Anger will turn to

determination, despair to hope, and sadness to joyful commitment.

~ H e a l i n g G r i e f ~

Grief can be redeemed. This is why Jesus came to this earth, to give witness to the

transforming power of divine life. “I came that they may have life, and have it more

abundantly,” Jesus said. (John 10:10) Jesus desires our good. He invites us to channel the

energy of grief into positive action. Healing grief is a journey, not a destination. In this life,

we will not rid ourselves of grief, but surrounded by the compassionate presence of those

who love us, we can move to healing and wholeness. When we are all unraveled in grief,

our journey toward healing asks us to weave our losses into the fabric of our lives.

Good Grief

“I came that they may have life, and

have it more abundantl y,” Jesus said.

(John 10:10)

5 Vol. 6 No. 3

Good Grief~ L e t T h e r e B e L i g h t ~

God’s spirit hovered over the chaos right from the very beginning, hovering, not in some dis-

interested way, but in preparation for calling out,“Let there be light!” That divine spirit was

clearly visible in Jesus whose whole life was given to assuring people that their faith would

make them whole. “I, the Light, have come into this world,” Jesus said (John 12:46). And He

proved it with his resurrection. There is new life after grief. The stone is rolled away, and

those who mourn are comforted.

“I, the Light, have come into this worl d,”

Jesus said. (John 12:46)

“Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, and his

mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and

Mary of Magdala.” (John 19:25)

During that whole ordeal, Scripture never records anything that Mary said. She was Jesus’

companion in grief, bearing the pain, being sensitive to all that He was suffering. She would

love to have taken away his agony, but knowing that there was a greater plan in action, she

stood with Jesus in loving compassion. Her strength blended with His in showing us Jesus’

staunch commitment to the Good News of the kingdom and its values.

Companions in grief are sensitive listeners. They come to the situation of loss and grief

with open hearts and minds. There is no “agenda.” They are present to provide calm

strength in an extremely stressful event. Each type of loss creates a different environment.

A child experiencing the breakup of a family will need something different than a person

who has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Yet, each is in a state of grief.

A stressful situation sometimes causes people to want to explain it away, to talk it into normalcy. The

companion knows how to listen without judgment and without comment, knowing that the healing

response to grief lies within the person grieving.

Companions in grief are aware and thoughtful. People were standing about crying in grief when Jesus

had raised the daughter of Jairus. Jesus knew they weren’t focused on the little girl’s need for food,

Griefc o m p a n i o n s i n

Sister BarbaraFeleo comforts a

grieving widow.

7 Vol. 6 No. 3

Griefc o m p a n i o n s i n

so He told them to bring her something

to eat. Like Jesus, the companion in grief is

sensitive and alert to the needs of the

grieving. What would make this situation less

stressful? What thoughtful thing would

contribute to the health and healing of the

persons grieving?

The best companions in grief are the “wound-

ed healers.” The one who best knows the grief

of war is the one who has experienced it, and

knows what the war victims are suffering.

A companion in grief is a catalyst in addressing some fundamental questions: What might

be preventing your “letting go?” How would you like to spend your remaining time on earth?

What is standing in the way of your forgiving? What

beautiful example does your situation offer to all of us? Ira

Byock, M.D. wrote a book entitled “The Four Things

That Matter Most: A Book about Living.” In it he

suggests four simple phrases that lead to emotional

wellness and emotional healing:

Please forgive me,

I forgive you.

Thank you.

I love you.

Persons in grief need to be guided to express these

simple phrases on their journey to new life.

Companions in grief are also companions in joy. Mary of Magdala was a close companion

of Jesus, following Him all the way to Calvary, preparing his body for burial, and keeping

watch at the site of the tomb. She was also a witness to the resurrection, seeing Jesus

alive. As the grieving person moves through the grief to embrace new life, the compan-

ion is there to sing the “alleluias” at the life that has found a new home.

P lease forgive me.

I forgive you .

T hank you .

I love you .

Dayt h e t h i r d

My heart crushed and bruised,I crept out of my bed before dawn to beginthe foot-dragging journey to the tomb.

With balm and sacred nard, I slip pastthe gate guard, for no one willdeter me from my purpose.

A soft breeze stirs the dawn dust‘round my feet, as I set out across the desertto annoint my Lord for the last time.

My soul has sorrow dark as I rememberthe Roman Friday feast ofHis Body bled dry, scarred and torn.

The tomb, turned red by the rising sun,shows that even this Deathhas not stopped time.

I prepare to meet my dead Lord,as I bend down to see the Essenceof myself within this hewn rock.

I wail in wild lament as the yawning emptiness alonegreets my solicitations.

Throwing myself across this empty tomb,I keen for my dead Lord,celebrating the devastation of the moment.

“Mary,” breezes across my lamentation,as I turn to find my Lord, radiantin the glory of the Resurrection.

Instantly I, who annointed His sacred feet only,am wholly immersed in Profound Love.

I emerge “as the woman whostood at the foot of the cross,” Magdalene.

Gerry Smith is author of “The Third Day.” She is a friend

of Sr. Margaret Trzebiatowski.

Gerry writes of herself:

“I am a single laywoman (and proud of it) and a retired high school

teacher whose fields were history and English. I worked the last 17

years as a foreign language supervisor and audio visual director

for a school system of 900, in K-12. After teaching a total of 75 semesters, MS caught up

with me. I was diagnosed in 1992, and retired in 1996.

“My published book of poetry is titled Fahrnwald Poetry because all the entries were

inspired by my annual trek to the Jesuit Retreat House located on Fahrnwald Road in

Oshkosh,Wisconsin. I have a second volume in the works called Musings.

“In 1979, I became the first lay Eucharistic Minister in the local hospital. I became a

trained hospice volunteer in 1981 and conduct a Healing Grief Circle with the residents.

I lead “Working Your Way Through Grief ” workshops for small groups of people who are

non-hospice involved. It lasts six weeks and I wrote the material myself. I became

certified in Grief Counseling and Bereavement by the Association for Death Education

and Counseling in 2002.”

9 Vol. 6 No. 3

“Sister Betty is the most practical, down-to-earth pastoral minister I have ever known,”

said one of the nurse managers at Marymount Hospital in Garfield Heights, Ohio, where

Sister Betty Gulick (Sr. John Ann) is Chaplain. Perhaps it is the “down-to-earth”

example given by Jesus that sets the tone for Sr. Betty’s life and ministry. As St. Paul puts

it, “Make your own the mind of Christ Jesus who, being in the form of God, did

not count equality with God something to be grasped. But He emptied himself,

taking the form of a slave, becoming as human beings are.” (Phillipians 2:5-7)

Sr. Betty fills each day with a ministry stretching from prayer at the bedside of

a dying patient to the scheduling of Eucharistic Ministers. Her office is strategi-

cally located close to the main entrance of the hospital, making her services

always available—very much “on earth.”

The hospital environment is very familiar to Sr. Betty. She was born in Garfield

Heights, Ohio, and lived on Granger Road, right in the neighborhood of

Marymount Convent and Marymount Hospital. She attended St.Therese Grade

GriefMINISTRY IN

“Make your o wn the mind of Christ Jesus who, being in the form of God, didnot count e quality with God something to be grasped. But He emptied him-sel f, taking the form of a slave, becoming as hu man beings are.” (Phillipians 2:5-7)

RealPresence

School and then Marymount High School (now Trinity High School) which was

staffed by the Sisters of St. Joseph of the Third Order of St. Francis. When she

completed her Junior year at Marymount, she entered the congregation. She was

invested in 1960 and received the name of Sister Mary John Ann. She spent five

years attending college, preparing for a career as a Medical Technologist. Her first

assignment was at St. Joseph Hospital in Meridian, Mississippi. In 1967, she came

to Marymount Hospital where she served as medical technologist until 1974.

1975 was a significant turning point in Sr. Betty’s ministry. God’s life, through

Sr. Betty’s life, took a different shape. She completed a master’s degree in

Pastoral Psychology and Counseling and was invited to join the pastoral team at

St. Monica Parish. For the next twenty-five years, Sr. Betty served in pastoral

ministry at various churches in Ohio. In 2001, she assumed the responsibilities

of Chaplain at Marymount Hospital in Garfield Heights.

Sr. Betty brings God to earth in many ways. Her day begins with praying a morning prayer

over the public address system that is heard by patients, family members, staff and visitors.

Then she reviews the number of new admissions that have come in since the previous day

to determine which patients need to be seen that day. She prepares the sheets that the

Eucharistic Ministers will use to take Eucharist to the patients after the Mass that is

televised to patients’ rooms. She works with the Patient Advocate who handles any

problems that may arise during a hospital stay. She visits patients and provides counseling

and guidance as needed. There are times when she meets with the patient and their

family members to assist them in articulating their spiritual values and belief system and

uses their insights to inform their decision-making abilities. She educates patients and

families about advance directives and end-of-life issues and assists in the clarification

process in family conferences and

facilitates greater discussion be-

tween patients, families, and their

physician/nursing staff. The Pastoral

Care staff works with the diocesan

seminarians to develop their skills in

RealPresence

GriefMINISTRY IN

THERE ARE TIMES

WHEN SHE MEETS WITH

THE PATIENT AND

THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS

TO ASSIST THEM IN

ARTICULATING THEIR

SPIRITUAL VALUES AND

BELIEF SYSTEM AND

USES THEIR INSIGHTS

TO INFORM THEIR

DECISION-MAKING

ABILITIES.

(continued on page 11)

11 Vol. 6 No. 3

GriefMINISTRY IN

hospital ministry. And she does all

the extra thoughtful things, like

preparing a Book of Remembrance,

when a staff member dies. In the

Book of Remembrance, the staff can

write messages of sympathy to the

family of the deceased staff member

and share memories of the person

with whom they worked at Mary-

mount Hospital. This book is then

presented to the deceased staff

member’s family. Twice a year a six week bereavement series, open to the neighboring

community, is offered to families who have lost a loved one. Every three months Sr. Betty

plans a Memorial Mass, offered for all patients who have died at Marymount Hospital.Their

family members are invited to attend. It is one more way she helps families deal with the

loss of a loved one.

Where does Sr. Betty receive her inspiration and motivation? Prayer is the center of her

life. “I have a special cross which I hold in my hand every night and lift up to God the

people who, during that day, have been in my care.They may have asked for prayer. I just

place them in God’s hand each night. I know they are in His hands.”

Yes, Sr. Betty is down to earth, and she and God are really present in her ministry.

RealPresence(continued from page 10)

“I HAVE A SPECIAL

CROSS WHICH I HOLD

IN MY HAND EVERY

NIGHT AND LIFT UP TO

GOD THE PEOPLE WHO,

DURING THAT DAY,

THAT I MINISTERED TO.

THEY MAY HAVE ASKED

FOR PRAYER. I JUST

PLACE THEM IN GOD’S

HAND EACH NIGHT.

I KNOW THEY ARE IN

HIS HANDS.”

Sister Helen Huellmantel (Sr. Louis) works for two different hospice services in the

Detroit, Michigan, area. One is Heartland Hospice Services and the other is

Hospice Advantage with a special service to African Americans. In both cases, she is part

of a healthcare team—doctor, nurse, home care aide, therapy—visiting patients in

hospitals and home settings, reaching people who otherwise would not have spiritual care

during their illness. “Spiritual care” is exactly what Sr. Helen offers. She brings spiritual

meaning to the suffering and loss that each person endures in a unique way. The objec-

tive in her hospice work is to engage the spiritual life of the patient in the process of pain

management.

Sr. Helen brings the joy of music to her patient visits. She delights her patients with a

repertoire which includes both hymns and contemporary songs so she can respond to the

mood of the patient. Even as a child, she was a gifted musician, playing the piano and

singing. When she entered the convent, she began serving as a church organist even

through her high school years. Her gift has always been at the service of God and the

People of God. She continued directing choirs, playing the organ for liturgies, and provid-

ing entertainment for various occasions. She is a true minister of music.

Sr. Helen was born in Warren, Michigan, where she was raised with her five brothers and

sisters. She is the fifth of six siblings. She attended Ascension School in Base Line,

Michigan, where the Sisters of St. Joseph of the Third Order of St. Francis were teachers.

Their kindness and holiness inspired Helen to enter the congregation when she graduat-

ed from eighth grade. She was invested in 1953 and received the name Sister Mary Louis.


GriefMINISTRY IN

I Will Make Music for Yahweh!Psalm 27:6

13 Vol. 6 No. 3

Sr. Helen’s whole life and ministry has always been rooted in care for the minores, the

“little ones.” She began her ministry as a teacher is 1956 and taught in several Ohio

schools until 1968. It was then that she

was assigned to St. Francis Mission in

Greenwood, Mississippi. It was only a

year, but it changed her life and ministry.

She returned to the Detroit area and

joined the staff of Our Lady of Fatima

Parish in Oak Park, Michigan, as Director

of Adult Education and Special Parish

Affairs. In 1971, she continued her

parish ministry at St. Columban Parish in

Detroit. While there, Sr. Helen became

more deeply aware of children in the

inner city of Detroit. She began to study

the neighborhood and discern how to

help the youth in that part of the city.

She knew that the children needed a

stable and positive influence. Sr. Helen opened a Youth Center, Focus, Inc., and in 1978,

she established Sunshine Montessori School where younger children were provided with

a solid learning foundation. The school is still in operation today. In 1988, she transi-

GriefMINISTRY IN


SR. HELEN’S WHOLE LIFE AND MINISTRY HAS ALWAYS BEEN

ROOTED IN CARE FOR THE MINORES, THE “LITTLE ONES.”

(continued from page 12)

GriefMINISTRY IN

tioned from her work at Focus, Inc., to working in commu-

nity development for Goodwill Industries. In this capacity,

Sr. Helen organized meals for seniors, well-being visits, and

other services for those who were in need. It was a natural

progression in her ministry to become Coordinator of

Pastoral Care and Chaplain at Detroit Riverview Hospital

where she completed her Certification with the Association

of Professional Chaplains. In 2000, she assumed the role of

Chaplain at William Beaumont Hospital where she served

for four years. Her inspiration for choosing hospice work

was to minister to AIDS patients, which, on occasion, she

does in her current position.

Spending even a short time with Sr. Helen, one is convinced of her absolute commitment

to her ministry. She lives what she says. She can speak words of release to the dying

because she herself knows how to “let go.” She lives in a small apartment in Detroit that

does the Franciscan spirit proud. Word has it that she gets a good portion of her

wardrobe from Goodwill Industries, and still manages to be professionally “together.” Joy

follows her like swirls follow a moving hand in water. In truth, she proclaims with her life,

“I will sing, I will make music for Yahweh!”


JOY FOLLOWS HER LIKE SWIRLS

FOLLOW A MOVING HAND IN WATER.

SHE CAN SPEAK WORDS

OF RELEASE TO THE

DYING BECAUSE SHE

HERSELF KNOWS HOW

TO “LET GO.”

15 Vol. 6 No. 3

GriefMINISTRY INA Healing Presence“The presence of their absence is everywhere,” explained Sister MargaretTrzebiatowski (Sr. Jeanne d’Arc), Chaplain at Luther Midelfort Hospital in Eau Claire,

Wisconsin. She was using these words of Edna St.Vincent Millay to describe an episode

at the hospital, but could have been describing any situation of loss. The loss always

remains, but the survivors integrate that loss into a new way of being.

Sr. Margaret has been a chaplain at Luther Midelfort since 1986. The staff

has come to know and depend on the calm and stabilizing presence of Sr.

Margaret, particularly in trauma situations. “She is always there with a

kind word, a smile, a gracious ‘What can I do?’” stated one family mem-

ber dealing with a parent’s terminal illness. As chaplain,Sr.Margaret devel-

ops a relationship with the patients and their families throughout the hos-

pitalization. She visits them,shares Eucharist and offers spiritual and emo-

tional support. She is an active member of the healthcare team, partici-

pating in activities from medical rounds to charting spiritual care inter-

ventions on medical charts. She provides education and peer counseling

for colleagues, and witnesses to her Catholic faith in the way St. Francis

counseled his followers: “Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if

necessary.” She is a living reminder of the power of religious faith in the

context of total health care.

Healing touch is part of Sr. Margaret’s ministry. Healing touch is a holis-

tic energy therapy that uses gentle, non-invasive touch to influence and

support the body’s balance and harmony. The goal is to support the per-

son’s self-healing process toward wholeness in body, mind, spirit and

emotion. She uses healing touch in collaboration with conventional

health care.

“P reach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.” St. Francis

Sr. Margaret brings credentials and experience to her

ministry at Luther Midelfort. She is a member of the

Association of Professional Chaplains, fulfilling the require-

ments of a master’s degree and the completion of the

required CPE units. In 1990, she was the first woman

in the state of Wisconsin to become a fellow in the College

of Chaplains. Before she came to the hospital, she was

Director of Religious Education at St. Olaf’s Parish in

Eau Claire.

Her experience of deep faith and loving care began even

earlier than her credentials. She was born in Galloway, a

little town in central Wisconsin, one of seven children.

She came to know the Sisters

of St. Joseph of the Third

Order of St. Francis when she

attended St. Adalbert School

in Rosholt, Wisconsin, and

entered the congregation

after graduating from eighth

grade. The community spirit

of Franciscan love and Gospel

living resonated deeply with

Sr. Margaret, so that in later

years she brought her

commitment of care

to her every ministry.

She was invested in

1960 and received the name Sister Mary Jeanne

d’Arc. The first years of her ministry were in

teaching, but soon she realized that God had other

plans for her talents. She turned her energy toward

pastoral ministry, working in Holy Rosary Parish

in Owen, Wisconsin. After serving as the congrega-

tion’s Vocation/Formation Director, she moved to

St. Olaf’s Parish.


A Healing Presence

GriefMINISTRY IN

17 Vol. 6 No. 3

It was then that Sr. Margaret

began her work at Luther

Midelfort. She began in the crit-

ical care area of the hospital.

Daily, Sr. Margaret draws her

strength from centering prayer,

the recitation of the Divine

Office and from yoga. Since the hospital is a brisk

walk from her house, she uses the opportunity

for a “walking meditation” usually on the

Scripture readings for the day’s liturgy.

Sr. Margaret is part of the Franciscan Chords, a

music group of the Sisters of St. Joseph of the

Third Order of St. Francis. She plays the bass.

In addition to her musical talent, she does quilt-

ing, a talent she contributes to the production of

the annual Hospice Remembrance Quilts that bear the names of

all the patients cared for in the Hospice Program of Northwest

Wisconsin Homecare.

Sr. Margaret continues her

ministry as part of the

health care team at Luther

Middelfort Hospital. On a

day to day basis, she is a

companion in grief, but

knows the joy of a grief

redeemed.

GriefMINISTRY INA Healing Presence(continued from page 16)

GriefMINISTRY IN

The Space thatSurrounds a Bird…A sixty-seven year old woman died a sudden and untimely death, and the family gathered

at the Franciscan Skemp Hospital where Sister Rose Grabowski (Sr. Carolyn) is

chaplain. She responded to the family with compassion, sensitive to opportunities to com-

panion them in their grief. Grief takes time. Sr. Rose knew that this was only the

beginning of the family’s journey through grief. The first few steps would be the family’s

telling stories of their wife, mother and grandmother. Being a good listener is one of the

traits of a good companion in grief. Sr. Rose spent the entire afternoon with the family,

helping out with phone calls, making sure that family members were comforted and

comfortable, making initial arrangements for the wake and funeral, and praying with them.

God was present “like the space that surrounds a bird.”

Sr. Rose has the required certification for chaplaincy, but her compassion comes from a

listening heart, her natural state of being. She was also blessed with a wonderful sense of

humor with which she brightens the days of the patients in her care. “Sister Rose is always

good for ‘the joke of the day,’” said one of the volunteers. Her ministry at Franciscan

Skemp Healthcare is truly a calling. Franciscan Skemp Healthcare is a both a hospital and

a nursing home. She provides pastoral care in emergency situations such as those which

would most often arise in the hospital. She is also the daily source of Eucharist, prayer and

spiritual care for the longer term residents of the nursing home. The latter includes the

elderly, persons suffering stroke, and those with debilitating conditions such as Parkinson’s

disease or multiple sclerosis. When they are gathered for prayer, Sr. Rose calls them “my

Church.” Each person is unique, and Sr. Rose meets each situation with a “fitting response.”

For example, once at Christmas time, a patient was very near death. Following her


GriefMINISTRY IN

19 Vol. 6 No. 3

bedside prayer, she was moved to sing a Christmas carol.

She softly sang “Silent Night” and when she came to “sleep

in heavenly peace” the patient quietly went home to God.

Sr. Rose’s sensitivity to God was apparent in her early years

in Thorp, Wisconsin. She was born the seventh of ten

children to Joseph and Stella Grabowski. She became

acquainted with the Sisters of St. Joseph of the Third Order

of St. Francis during grade school where the congregation

taught at St. Hedwig Parish. Rose responded to God’s call

and entered the congregation in 1956 when she completed

the eighth grade. In 1962, she began her teaching career

which would last for fourteen years in Wisconsin schools. She went to St. George Parish

in Kenosha,Wisconsin, in 1976 as Religious Education Director where she served for six

years before taking on the responsibility of Vocation team member for the Stevens Point

Province. Her work at St. Catherine Residence for Women was a turning point in her

ministry. She sensed that God was moving her in the direction of pastoral care and

chaplaincy, so she took time to complete the requirements for certification with

the Association of Professional Chaplains. Sr. Rose became Staff Chaplain at St. Agnes


The Space that Surrounds a Bird…

GriefMINISTRY IN

Hospital in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin,

where she ministered for seven years. In

2001, she began her ministry at St. Joseph

Hospital and Nursing Home in Arcadia,

Wisconsin, and remained there when it

was reorganized to Franciscan Skemp

Healthcare in 2002. She continues as part

of the healthcare team for the patients

and residents.

Sr. Rose knows the nursing home resi-

dents by name, and gives them plenty of

hugs as well as spiritual care. Her per-

sonal “hugs” come from her community,

her family and friends, and her God. She

relaxes with cross stitch, and from long

walks in Memorial Park,

located just across the street from her house. There is a peaceful spirit

about her, and one gets the feeling that she is in touch with Someone very

near ... deep within. On her wall hangs an art piece with the saying:

“It is courage that makes saints,

and courage is nothing more or less

than trusting in the grace that comes from above

and that is always present,

for in our trials and sufferings

God is always present.

God is like the space that surrounds a bird.”

21 Vol. 6 No. 3

V O C A T I O N / F O R M A T I O N

Rebecca Powell

Pre-Candidate

On August 7, 2005, Rebecca Powell was received

as a Pre-candidate of the Sisters of St. Joseph of

the Third Order of St. Francis. The ceremony

took place at St. Joseph Congregational Home with a

prayer service marking her intent to live according to the

Gospels and begin her journey toward full membership in

the congregation. Rebecca received a Bible, symbolic of

her “dedication to Jesus Christ (SSJ-TOSF Mission

Statement)”; the history of the congregation, A Fitting

Response, to become more familiar with the spirit of the

founders; a copy of “A Franciscan Journey” to guide her in

the time of Pre-candidacy; and a Tau cross to wear as a

symbol of her intent to live a Franciscan life. .

Rebecca is from Raleigh, North Carolina. She is a graduate

of North Carolina University with a bachelor’s degree with

a Genetics major, and is currently pursuing her master’s

degree in Genetics. She became a confirmed Catholic this

past Easter at St. Francis Parish in Raleigh. She is compan-

ioned in her pre-candidacy by Sister Deb Weina, SSJ-TOSF

Vocation Director, and Sister Sharon Dillon.

Rebecca studied the web site of the SSJ-TOSFs for several

months before contacting the SSJ-TOSF Vocation Minister.

You can find more information on Pre-candidacy at

www.ssj-tosf.org. Click on “Join Us” and “Vowed Life.”

Groundbreaking in BartlettFrom Tiny Acorns, Mighty Oaks Do Grow

On Sunday, October 9, 2005,

ground was broken for the

construction of Clare Oaks, “a

community for mind, body and

spirit,” in Bartlett, Illinois.

Francis Cardinal George, O.M.I.,

Archbishop of Chicago, and

the Honorable Catherine J.

Melchert, Bartlett Village

President, joined Sisters Jeanne

Conzemius, Colette Wilczynski

and Ruth Baggech in welcoming

the future residents of Clare

Oaks, as well as friends and project supporters. They

gathered in the chapel of Immaculata Congregational

Home to celebrate a liturgy of thanks and hope. Changes

were already taking place on

the campus. The ground was

being prepared for the upcoming

demolition of the west wing of

the current building and the

construction of Phase One of

the continuing care retirement

community. The guests could see

the changes, even as they arrived

at the Congregational Home.

Following the Mass, the group

walked to the large reception

tent where the groundbreaking was to happen, and where

the reception was held. Sr. Ruth introduced Mr. Martin

Satava of CRSA who explained the construction events


Campus plan for Clare Oaks.for more information, go to www.clareoaks.com

Groundbreaking in Bartlett

that led up to the day’s celebration. Mayor Melchert

expressed the enthusiasm of the Village of Bartlett for the

needed retirement facility as a vital part of the growth of

the area. Sr. Jeanne shared the dreams of the congregation

for the ministry that would be part of the life of Clare

Oaks. To express their unity on the Clare Oaks project,

the group adjourned to the shovel site. Cardinal George

blessed the ground, and five shovels dug into the ground to

mark the beginning of a new era. The first depositors, the

architects, the construction engineers, all had the privilege

of planting acorns right along the groundbreaking line. The

cardinal watered them, a sign of hope for the future.

The guests were then treated to dinner and enjoyed the

music of the St. Peter Damian Choir and a music ensem-

ble. To mark the occasion, depositors were given a bowl

decorated with handpainted acorns and the date of the

groundbreaking. They spent some time strolling the

grounds and noting the changes already underway.

23 Vol. 6 No. 3


Clare Oaks is a sponsored institution of the Sisters of

St. Joseph of the Third Order of St. Francis. It will be an

inspirational, hospitable community, providing gracious

independent living as well as assisted living and long term

health care. It is designed for social, intellectual, physical

and spiritual growth during retirement years.

From tiny acorns, mighty oaks do grow.

Sister Mary Daniel SutulaBorn to this life: March 3, 1916Born to eternal life: September 18, 2005Homemaker and pastoral minister in Ohio andConnecticut, Sr. Daniel embodied the spirit ofgracious hospitality that is a hallmark of thecongregation.

Sister Albinette BlochBorn to this life: February 14, 1914Born to eternal life: September 8, 2005A dedicated teacher in Wisconsin schools,Sr. Albinette spent a lifetime in loving ministryto “the little ones.”

Sister Mary Alphonsine NiczkowskiBorn to this life: July 28, 1912Born to eternal life: October 14, 2005The educational ministry of Sr. Alphonsine inOhio spanned over 70 years as teacher,author, principal, supervisor, reading specialistand tutor.

Dear Friends,

Tragedy, natural disasters, pain, suffering, loss, and the list goes on—all causing grief in ourpersonal life, in our nation and across the world. How do we deal with this grief that has

of late become very much a part of our lives? How can we be instrumental in helping alleviateall the grief? Should we and can we be concerned? The Apostolic Mission of the Sisters of St. Joseph of the Third Order of St. Francis directs our path:

“... aware of the enormous moral and physical complexities of our world today, we seek not flight frombut positive insertion into the redemptive mystery unfolding in the world. Together with all our sisters andbrothers who strive for a more just world, we undertake those activities which will promote the materialand spiritual development of the human family.”

Our first response to the grief in today’s world is prayer power. Prayer is the driving force thatprovides support and encouragement to all of us as daily we face whatever challenge our ministries may offer. Through interaction with others in our ministries we strive to ease existinggrief that is present in the lives of God’s people whom we serve.

All of you, as partners with us in our ministries and prayer life, create a powerful source for helping reduce some of the grief existing in our world today. Is it a cure? No, but it is a positivestep forward. We pray for continuance in our seemingly never ending struggle to make God’slove overtake the grief that is so strong in our world today.We pray that God’sencompassing love will shine.

Sincerely,

Sister Denise Seymour, SSJ-TOSFDirector of Development

Sisters of St. Joseph

of the Third Order of St. Francis

Development Office

P.O. Box 388129

Chicago, IL 60638-8129

Phone: (773) 581-7505

Fax: (773) 581-7545

e-mail: [email protected]

Sister Denise Seymour

Sisters of St. Joseph,TOSFPublic Relations OfficeP.O. Box 388129Chicago, Illinois 60638-8129www.ssj-tosf.org

NON-PROFITORGANIZATIONU.S. POSTAGE

PAIDCHICAGO, IL

PERMIT #5504

Information Center775 West Bartlett Road • Bartlett, IL 60103

(630)372-1983 • (800)648-1984Fax (630)372-2868

A Community For Mind, Body & Spirit

Imagine the possibilitiesfor your retirement

at Clare Oaks!A full-service retirement community

coming soon to Bartlett, Illinois,

sponsored by the Sisters of St. Joseph

of the Third Order of St. Francis

volume 6 no 3 2005

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