jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/criminally_competent.docx  · web viewthe furnace went on,...

33
CRIMINALLY COMPETENT John Standfield 5,956 Words PO Box 74 Moody, ME 04054 Phone 508-314-3554 [email protected] CRIMINALLY COMPETENT Josh Edward Baker was born to crime. Crouched behind a tree inside the target's hedge defining the property line, Josh waited on the new moon night for the target's family to leave. Waiting, he always thought he did 1

Upload: phungtram

Post on 22-Mar-2018

215 views

Category:

Documents


1 download

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

John Standfield 5,956 Words PO Box 74Moody, ME 04054Phone [email protected]

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

Josh Edward Baker was born to crime.

Crouched behind a tree inside the target's hedge defining the property line, Josh

waited on the new moon night for the target's family to leave. Waiting, he always thought he

did his best work in the dark. When the target’s car left with three people, all accounted for,

Josh moved to a back basement window. He'd cased the job and broke the window lock

during his last visit. DONUT Rule: 14 - Always walk the ground before a job.

At five-nine and wiry he easily slipped through the small fold-in window. He stood in

the basement, put down his black canvas tool bag, closed the window, and listened. He

1

Page 2: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

dressed in all black tight fitting clothes, a black knit ski hat pulled down over his ears, matte

black surgical gloves, and non-reflective black face paint. DONUT Rule: 23 - Always

disguise your identity during a job.

The furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight

from his tool kit; a unique combination of low and high tech burglary tools. As he moved

upstairs he stopped every seven steps to listen. Quiet. Alone.

He found the security system in the foyer. The target hadn't turned it on when he and

his family left for the evening. He knew most people don't use their systems, although he'd

been ready to disarm it if he'd heard the clicking of the motion detector in the foyer.

He entered the target's study at the front of the house off the foyer, everything as

anticipated with the computer tower on the floor to the left of the desk. He sat down at the

target’s desk, comfortable, and began a methodical search of the desk for passwords.

* * *

It'd been a five year journey from the day he decided to learn the criminal trade to

sitting at the target's desk. He financed his criminal education and tool kit through petty theft;

mostly shop lifting and what the police would call bunko operations. His skills as a grifter

improved over time, as he learned how to act. Josh sold the goods and laundered the cash and

proceeds of his many fraud gigs though phantom part-time jobs. During his early teenage

years his parents thought he had a variety of part time jobs and he did, just not ones they

would have approved. DONUT Rule: 35 - Whenever possible, sell the take within 48 hours.

2

Page 3: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

His only ethical rule; never steal from family. Then again, were his subtle

interrogations of his two uncles, his father’s brothers, stealing? One uncle worked as a

homicide detective and the other a precinct sergeant. Josh let them believe his questions

expressed his interest in a law enforcement career. His father, a defense attorney also

inadvertently provided career guidance. Josh let his father believe his questions displayed an

interest in law school. Was that stealing? He reasoned no, because they all gladly offered the

information. By the time he broke into the target's house he'd written a book of criminal

techniques and objectives.

His self-taught education evolved over the years. He concentrated on four areas:

Physical ability - this consisted of weight training, running cross country and competitive

boxing.

Entering Secure locations - he learned locksmithing, security systems, and computer

programming. The computer deftness worked to his strongest asset, patience. He'd won

contests, much to his parent’s pleasure, for his computer work.

Defense – self-protection and the use of force. Boxing fell into this area as well as

edged weapons (his personal preference) and firearms. The firearms education his unwitting

uncles provided, much to his parents displeasure. He understood violence was always a

possibility in any criminal activity. He chose to avoid it and it became DONUT Rule: 9 -

Jobs can become unprofitable because blood is expensive.

Secrets – this area to his career training evolved into DONUT Rule: 2 - There are

only two ways to keep a secret. First, never allow the secret to be known, or if that isn't

possible then confuse the facts by creating an alternative truth others will logically believe.

3

Page 4: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

Josh worked at perfecting the expertise worthy of any good politician: ambiguity. He used

the acting skills he’d learned performing as secondary characters in school plays to enhance

his ability to think one thing and act out another.

As a career criminal one of his goals was to learn why others got caught. To that end

he needed to understand the weaknesses inherent in a criminal profession and overcome

them. As if writing a term paper Josh researched the mentality of criminals. He learned that 2

to 3 percent of people commit serious crimes and of those, most people didn't wake mornings

thinking about what they would steal that day. That caused Josh to pause for a time, because

that's exactly what he did. Criminals, he learned, externalized everything. Most border on or

could be diagnosed as sociopaths. Most criminals don't see the humanity of their targets.

He had then spent many a sleepless night thinking about the ethical issues of stealing.

He knew his criminal activities were illegal and morally wrong. Wondering if he might have

succumbed to some psychological disorder worried him enough to study sociopathic

personalities. He decided he wasn’t a sociopath because he understood the consequences of

his actions, although he never felt remorse. He considered stealing his job; how he would

make a living. It took some time but he understood his own inconsistencies, and that caused

him to think he was different than most criminals. Better maybe. DONUT Rule: 3 - The art

was not how to pull jobs but learning how not to get caught. A rule he derived from his psych

research and the school boxing coach.

During his senior year, Josh listened to other kids at school talk about their career

goals. What they wanted to do after High School. All talked about College, of course, then a

profession. Nobody said they wanted a life of crime, although, Josh thought a few would find

4

Page 5: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

themselves outside the law at some point. He knew, he alone, would be a career criminal.

Five years earlier, when the realization had hit him, it brought him focus. He now reveled in

the warmth that focus brought him. He quietly laughed at his classmates who with

determined talk said they would be a professional of one kind or another. Listening, he knew

they had no idea how to get to their goal.

* * *

Sitting in the dark study, methodically searching the lap drawer and then the top left

draw of the desk with the pen light in his mouth, he noticed a small oriental rug, a short

runner between the left side of the desk and the outside wall. He thought it unusual to have a

rug there until he saw a corner flipped over. He leaned over and pulled up the rug and found

a floor safe.

Interesting. It had a combination dial and he leaned over closer to see the

manufacturer's name near the dial. He sat back up and thought that this is not why he's here.

He didn't expect to find a safe, at least not so easily. Tempted, what if the passwords he

needed were in the safe. Then again, he knew most people kept passwords accessible, not

locked up in a safe where they would spend time getting the list out. No, people kept

passwords either on their computer or near their work space. He sat for a moment

rationalizing why the passwords would not be in the safe, although they could be. He left the

rug as he found it and went back to searching the desk. DONUT Rule: 32 - came to mind:

Don't stay on the job one minute more than necessary.

He found a list of passwords on the desk's pull-out extension, what they used to call

the dictation slide for secretaries. The target had taped a 3X5 card on the inside end of the

5

Page 6: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

extension. He took a digital picture of it and continued to go through the remainder of the

desk, but he felt he found what he needed. He looked up at the bookshelf. Carefully walking

over in the dark room, he looked at the dust. He found a book with no dust in front of it and

pulled it out, leafed through it and discovered the same 3X5 card; a backup. He left it and

went back to the desk.

He scanned the rest of the room and couldn't think of anywhere else the target might

keep passwords. He turned his attention to the desktop PC sitting on the floor. He learned

early on that breaking into systems remotely wasn't impossible but time consuming and often

required math and programming knowledge he had yet to learn. The easiest way to break in

was to use the system itself, knowing the passwords and setting himself up as an

administrative user.

He pulled the desktop PC from under the desk, unscrewed and opened the cover.

After inspecting the interior he inserted the card near the drive controller. He had built the

card in his home workshop using an old modem as a base. The small card looked as if it

belonged in the system to a casual observer. Josh had bought the chips from an on-line

electronics wholesaler and had the parts delivered to a PO Box he took out under an alias. He

had a social security card and a credit card for the alias and soon a driver’s license for his

assumed identity.

After reassembling the PC and placing it back in the foot well of the target's desk he

turned it on. The screen lit up and so did the camera attached to the side of the free standing

wide flat screen. The target had set up a default program to open the video camera upon

starting the PC. Security he hadn't anticipated. He knew he had just a few seconds to turn it

6

Page 7: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

off before it began recording. He jerked out the desk extension and found a password labeled

camera. How stupid was that? He clicked on the icon he assumed was the camera software

and it asked for a password. He typed and the light on the camera went off. But he didn't

believe it. He opened the camera software and confirmed it wasn't recording.

He sat back in the target’s chair and quietly reminded himself of DONUT Rule: 37 -

Always expect the unexpected. His next thought was to get up and leave. But he had two

more tasks to accomplish, make sure his spyware card didn't show as an added piece of

hardware on the systems devices folder and a quick look at the file structure to make sure the

target had no hidden files on the system.

* * *

His parents supported and encouraged his learning computer hardware and software.

They financed his home computer workshop from which he had built his own computer.

Then last year they bought him a car when he won a science award for the creative way he’d

assembled the mother board and utility programs he'd written for it. They surprised him by

acknowledging his work. He relished in the fact he had been able to further his criminal

education within the sphere of their self-absorbed protective universe. He enjoyed acting out

the personality of the nerdy kid. He considered the computer work as just another means to

an end. His father, more than his mother, assumed he would start an internet company or a

software house and said he was ready to help Josh incorporate the business when ready. Josh

understood most people transferred what they thought important for them onto others. He

believed people did that as a method to control him. Knowing this, Josh worked to let those

who thought they knew him to believe whatever they wanted. He learned not to fight their

7

Page 8: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

attempt to manipulate but turned it. Josh felt comfortable to do what he wanted when he saw

people were content that he took their good advice.

* * *

He clicked on the File Explorer icon on the Task Bar and searched the target’s profile

and video files in the documents folder for any recent recordings. He changed the security

settings and ensured himself there were no hidden files on the system. Then he found a file in

the documents folder called PWS, a notepad file. He opened it and discovered a larger list of

passwords. Gold. Satisfied he sat back and read through the well labeled table defining not

only the various document and spreadsheet folders on the targets home PC but his business

network also.

Hurrying with practiced skill Josh methodically searched the system for any other

programs or information he could use. He resisted the urge to open software, spreadsheets

and e-mails the target had protected with the passwords; the clock provided the motivation to

keep moving forward. He knew he could remotely enter the target’s computer using his card

and calmly take his time. It surprised him that the target had a chat room set up with a

pornographic site and had set up an account with an offshore on-line gambling site. He had

read that porn had one of the best profit margins of any internet service. Another side

business he thought about developing but didn’t think it wise to use girls he knew and didn’t

trust. He copied a host of documents, programs, and E-mail to his flash drive as a backup to

his spyware card. He then spent a little time changing everything back to the way he found it.

DONUT Rule: 17 - Don't leave any tracks. The best job is one where the target didn't know it

happened till it's too late.

8

Page 9: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

* * *

It came to Josh after years of listening to his parents, uncles, and paternal grandfather

that cops and criminals were two sides of the same coin. And on any given day that coin

could flip either way.

He heard his uncles talk about what they had to do to get a scumbag thrown in jail in

an environment where the cops had to be more careful than the criminals. They would rant

about the "injustice" of it all, and then laugh quietly about how they got one guy or another.

At the same time he heard his father talk about the country becoming a Gestapo state where

the cops could do as they please and get away with it. He would rant about the injustice of it

all, and then quietly laugh with Josh's mother about the legal technicalities he'd used to get a

guy off. And all of them complained about the judges. Since his goal was to be a career

criminal, he would need to act like a law-and-order type, but not overdo it. Zealots of any

flavor always had something they needed to keep secret and Josh didn’t want anyone to

know he had a secret.

At the family gatherings at his grandfather's house on the ocean, he watched the

conflict play out between his father and his uncles. His grandfather would stay above it all,

only interjecting when the discussion got personal or heated. He told Josh many times how

proud he was of Josh's father and the work he did. Josh also noticed he kept the peace so

everyone would come to his eight bedroom retirement home most weekends of the summer

and every holiday. He had worked the streets for over twenty-five years as a narcotics

detective and had taken an early retirement just about the time Josh decided on his future

career.

9

Page 10: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

While cleaning up the settings on the target's computer, he thought about all he had

learned over the years at those family gathering. He listened and then when he got home sat

that night under the covers and wrote it out. He collected day to day practical techniques and

tidbits of the justification for their values. He used what he learned from his family to guide

his on-line research.

He wrote into journals over the years, interspersed with diary entries. If anyone read

it, they would see it as the rambling thoughts of a teenager. Within the last year he spent time

reading his old journals and consolidating the notes into his Crime Handbook. He printed the

book and bound the pages. He made a second copy of his handbook and kept it in a safety

deposit box he taken out at a bank in the city using his alias.

An appendix to his book consisted of his DONUT rules.

Having established DONUT Rule: 6 - Don't document anything, he felt he had to

keep his Crime Handbook. He could always say it was just a kid thing. But he hid it in his

room in plain sight. He took the cover off an Atlas map book and bound his Crime Handbook

with it. It sat on his bedroom bookcase between his Dictionary and Thesaurus. Plus he

always had the backup if he needed to destroy the copy in his room. He also kept a copy on a

hidden file on his computer. He also had a destroy program set up to erase the folder and any

folders pertaining to current jobs or past jobs.

Some DONUT Rules he kept on 3 X 5 cards tacked to his bulletin board. He would

go through the list and tack up different ones every few weeks, like the following:

DONUT Rule: 12 - Don't talk about the jobs and don't advertise. He found that more

people got caught because they either bragged about the job or someone they told talked.

10

Page 11: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

DONUT Rule: 16 - Don't get hurt on the job. He found that getting hurt caught more

criminals than someone talking.

DONUT Rule: 4 - If things go bad on a job, run. Don't push; cut the loss and move on

to plan a new job.

DONUT Rule: 5 - If questioned about a job, don't offer any more information than

necessary but act cooperative. Don't give them anything that generates more questions -

nothing to work with. Plus - remember - the cops lie.

DONUT Rule: 11 – Lies are harder to remember than the truth. Learn to live your lies

when it comes to the jobs; but with everything else in life be scrupulously honest. This rule

played well with his rule about secrets.

DONUT Rule: 43 - Be strong and agile but don't look it. Josh joined the school

boxing team to learn speed and balance. The coach taught him that the art of boxing wasn't so

much learning to hit as learning how not to get hit. He worked out on the machines at the

school gym, doing hundreds of repetitions at low resistance. This created long strong muscle,

not the bulk of the body builders.

His mother once asked about the cards and he said it was for a school paper on crime

in America. He told her he might use it as a basis for the paper he would have to write for his

law school application. She had beamed and told him she was sure his father would help him

with that.

* * *

11

Page 12: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

Josh felt good about the operation. He thought about the three months of preparation.

Selecting the target and taking all the necessary steps of work as outlined in his handbook. If

his family could see him now what would they think?

His father Edward was the middle child. He wasn't supposed to be the future patriarch

of the clan but from Josh's read, his grandfather had always favored his middle son. Against

the family tradition Edward became a defense attorney. He worked as a public defender upon

graduating Harvard Law School, and then quickly proved his ability as a trial attorney, thus

propelling him to a prominent Boston law firm. Over the years he became known through a

series of high profile defendants. He had as a client the former State Senate President,

William Bulger. His brothers would attack him, saying he was by default helping Whitey

evade justice. The badgering toned down when the FBI revealed Whitey had acted as an

informant. The core argument and therefore the many heated discussions at family gatherings

never ceased.

Several years ago one uncle told the story about a young boy he recently arrested for

stealing. He went around the table asking each child what they thought about the boy. Josh

responded by saying he couldn't think of ever doing anything like that; but smiling to himself

knowing he already stolen so much more.

Josh had seven cousins. When they were younger they would play cops and robbers.

Since his father wasn't a cop and helped the scum-bags get off, he was always the robber.

This often made him angry, especially when his girl cousins thought it perfectly normal to

beat him up since he was the bad guy. Although, if he hit one of them, then his male cousins

retaliated by locking him in a closet as jail and propping a chair against the closet door.

12

Page 13: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

Sitting in the dark hot closet with the coats crowding him, he would plan revenge scenarios

never consummated.

The only exception took place one summer as the cousins played baseball on the

beach in front of their grandfather’s house. They stopped to eat and came back to continue

the game. One of his male cousins had taken his glove. When he asked for it the cousin said

it was his and punched him. Josh turned away, walked to the house and asked his father why

his cousin did that. His father told Josh he couldn't expect his cousins to change unless he did

something to make them change. When Josh said he didn't know what to do his father made a

lasting impression when he said a man took what he wanted, no one gave him anything.

To this day, no one knows what had happened to all the baseball equipment.

Everyone’s glove, the bats and balls all disappeared while they ate dinner that evening. Josh

even threw his own glove in the ocean.

He'd heard the story for years about the scum-bag his uncles called The Ghost. A

burglar they were never able to catch because he would fade away after each job. Josh never

thought of him that way. He blended, like a chameleon.

* * *

As he put his tools back in the bag and prepared to leave, Josh stopped cold. A noise.

He sat dead still and listened as someone came in the front door. From under the study door

he saw the beam of a flashlight. Police or the security patrol? It doesn't matter, how did they

know he was here? What did he miss? Nothing, he didn't miss anything, his plan perfect --

but...

13

Page 14: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

He heard a man's voice, "Hey, look, the alarms off."

Then another voice, "Our profile says they always set the alarm, let’s check the

house."

He can't get out, the doorway to the study led to the foyer. He looked for a place to

hide; the closet, under the desk. He scanned the room quickly but saw nowhere. They don't

have full curtains just what his mother called window treatments. He momentarily thought of

leaving by the window but would need to leave it open. That would defeat his goal, to come

in and leave without a trace.

He heard them move through the foyer to the back of the house to the kitchen, dining,

and family room. They moved through the house together, bad procedure. And they talked

normally; it had to be the security company, not the police.

He saw an antique trunk in one corner near the bookcases. He turned off the PC,

closed all the draws, pushed his tool kit under the desk behind the computer and checked out

the trunk. It had blankets in it. He took them out and placed them on the back of the easy

chair, as if they belonged there.

He heard one of the security guys say the back door was locked. They opened the

door and went outside. Josh had to make a decision, they came back in. He looked at the

trunk, and thought, he could do it. He took off his shoes, placed them neatly next to the chair

and got in the trunk, folded himself into a fetal position and pulled the lid over himself just as

he heard the door to the study open.

* * *

14

Page 15: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

Tight in the trunk he heard the security patrol come into the study. He realized he

held his breath and slowly let it out as the two men walked through the study.

What came to mind surprised him? He began to think of all the dumb criminal stories

his uncles told him over the years. One such story was the guy who, while robbing a liquor

store, told the clerk to throw in a bottle of scotch. The clerk said no, because he didn't think

the guy was 21. The robber then showed him his ID to prove it. The clerk put in the bottle

and later called the police with the man's name and address.

His uncles and told him about criminals they knew and what they did to catch them.

They warned him not tell his father, because their brother would use that information to free

the scumbags. He lay in the trunk wondering what he could have forgotten or missed.

DONUT Rule: 1 - A bad plan well executed still works. He decided he could execute or

panic and fail. DONUT Rule: 21 - Fear is an emotion - you can choose not to feel emotions.

He calmed himself thinking of the real life experience he’d had with dumb criminals. When

in grade school at a cub scout meeting a dog handler policeman talked about how his dog

found drugs. Then the dog found a bag of grass in the purse of one of the mothers, who was

promptly arrested in front of us. Then there was the guy who came into a donut shop with

gun drawn to take their receipts. As he turned to leave he faced over 20 uniformed police

with weapons leveled on him. The patrolmen stopped there every morning before shift

change.

* * *

What did he forget? Doubt of every kind crowded him in the dark. Having rushed to

find a hiding place he questioned himself as to what he'd left on the guy's desk. Sweat of cold

15

Page 16: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

terror dripped down his back to his shorts. What were they doing out there? If they found his

tool kit or looked at his shoes closely they would see they would see the upper part still wet.

If they found anything then his plan to get into the guys business records was over.

He heard one of the men say, "So what do you think she saw?"

"Who knows? She's always calling about something. She has nothing else to do."

A neighbor saw him come in. His recon should have included that variable. So the

operation was blown. He now must find a way out. With the security people in the room, he

couldn't move. Will they call the police? If so he could be in the trunk a long time. Will they

call the target to come home? The worst case scenario. His plan to leave the way he came in

was no longer viable.

His sweat smelled of fear. DONUT Rule: 10 - You can't think and be afraid at the

same time. But he had also read that fear can motivate. He had practiced using the fear of a

situation to get creative.

In a trunk and can't move; but for the moment safe. They're talking normally, which

meant they thought they were alone in the house. He listened as they walked around the

study, checked the windows and walked near the trunk.

"Lots of books. Do you think he's read them all?"

"For that stupid remark you get to write this up."

"Hey, what's that?"

Shit, Josh thought, what did they find?

16

Page 17: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

* * *

For all his DONUT Rules and understanding his own fear, sweat poured from his face

stinging his eyes. But he didn't move. Would they take more time to look through the room if

they found something? His mind raced with possibilities. He needed to slow down and think,

but his thoughts wouldn't stay focused on the present, they kept wandering to how he got

here and the preparations he took. What if he got caught? It hit him he'd never consciously

thought about getting caught. He worked at his plan, confident it couldn't fail; he never

thought of failure. He understood the consequences of failure but not failing itself.

His heart pounded in his ears, he could barely hear the security guys. He thought

they'd walked over to the desk. He considered jumping out of the trunk, surprise them and

either attack or run. Could he use violence? His uncles told him that all bad guys eventually

use violence, some like it, but the better ones knew it created problems in the long run. Could

he hurt someone again on purpose? He'd punched out a guy at school who ratted on him. He

guy suffered a broken nose and lost three front teeth. The violence and blood had sickened

him. What had bothered more was the exposure, people then looked at him, and he could tell

they wondered; nerds didn’t punch out first string football tackles. He'd been suspended from

the boxing team for a match. The only positive, the word got around.

Could he run for it if they left the study for a moment? Are they armed? He wasn't

sure. If so, would they shoot him? Probably not. His reading of modern hired security people

said that if they did shoot someone they could be in just as much trouble as the perpetrator.

He knew, if he ran for it, they would see him and call the police who would eventually track

him down.

17

Page 18: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

No, he would wait; if they opened the trunk he would give up. What would his family

say? He nearly laughed with the thought of hiring his father to defend him.

He took a couple slow deep breaths expanding his stomach, using meditation

techniques to calm himself. His uncles maintained most criminals got caught, eventually. The

better ones considered it, "Just part of the job." One uncle said, "All these guys get caught at

something. I've put away several guys I know didn't do what I bagged them for but knew

they had done other stuff I couldn't prove. But hey, they had to pay for those jobs someday.

Right? Besides, most get out early anyway, and while they're inside they get a graduate

course in their MO."

Notwithstanding the bravado of his uncles, Josh new most career criminals don’t get

caught. He believed the reasons guys got busted he outlined in his DONUT rules. If all

criminals followed his rules he didn’t believe the cops could catch anybody. Even his

grandfather admitted that the he needed to literally trip over a perp. Josh did learn that most

criminals fall into predicable patterns. Most guys find something that works and keep doing

it over and over. When cops figure out a guy’s Modi Operendi, they bust them because

they're waiting for the perp to do it again in the same way.

He listened and realized the security guys were not at the desk, they were looking out

the window.

* * *

"That's her in the window over there."

18

Page 19: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

Josh guessed they watched her looking at them. The computer then pinged, and he

heard, "Hey the computer's on."

Shit, he was sure he turned it off when he heard the security patrol.

"What's it doing?"

"Looks like an automatic backup or update or something. Do you think this is what

she saw? I bet this is the light she saw."

"Right..."

Luck. DONUT Rule: 4 - Luck beats skill every time. He didn't even feel cramped

anymore as he thought of DONUT Rule: 7 - Remember they aren't any smarter than you.

Then DONUT Rule: 8 - They must play defense - they can only react to you.

He heard them laugh about something, probably at the expense of the woman next

door, as they turned off the lights and left by the front door. DONUT Rule: 13 - most people

will only do what they need to do and nothing more.

He didn't panic, well not too much. He lay in the trunk to a count of 200 then pushed

open the lid and uncurled himself from the trunk. He collected his bag and shoes, checked the

desk one more time for anything he may have moved. He got to the back door to find the

outside lights on. The security guys must have tripped the flood light with the motion sensor.

He couldn't get to the fence with the lights illuminating the yard. Mrs. Nosey next door

would see him for sure. One last complication he handled with a little patience; the lights

went off and he walked out the back door, avoided the motion sensor, and out the back gate -

just like he planned. No one would know he'd been there.

19

Page 20: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

* * *

Back home, in bed, Josh stared at the ceiling. His heart pounded as he thought about

nearly getting caught. The house quiet, all still but his thoughts. He remembered seeing a

picture of the guy’s family on the book shelf and thought of his own family. What a diverse

group. From his policeman grandfather and uncles who still live in the south end of the city

to his defense attorney father and University Professor mother. The two uncles had seven

kids. He was an only child. His parents created a comfortable home. His Grandfather and

uncles always complained about not having enough, but they didn't seem to need anything.

He lay there and thought about not only the consequences of getting caught but what

it would mean for him personally. But he got away with it. He would graduate in June, what

then? His parents will want him to go to college and he wasn't sure he wanted that, but he

may have to go anyway. He learned early, nothing is lost and anything he learned could be

used to commit better crimes. He didn't think avoiding the armed forces would be a problem.

Once in college the pressure to attend the Police Academy would go away. Although, he was

sure his uncles would push him to join the FBI after he graduated. He loved the interpretation

his father used for that acronym. He didn’t know how to deal with his mother, who hoped he

follow her into academia. What to do about the girl he'd dated for the last year if he didn’t go

to college with her?

Choices and decisions. He got up from bed and sat at his laptop. He pulled the file for

the job he'd done that night. He went over the plan and saw nothing wrong. But he nearly got

caught because he didn't foresee a nosey neighbor. Another variable to consider. He deleted

20

Page 21: jrstandfield.comjrstandfield.com/images/Criminally_Competent.docx  · Web viewThe furnace went on, the only sound. He took a small high-powered pen flashlight from his tool kit;

CRIMINALLY COMPETENT

the files for the job. All the work he'd done to get to this point. Writing his Crime Handbook.

Why give up because he got frightened for a moment.

He went back to bed and remembered what his grandfather told him: Having a

determined goal and maintaining focus on that goal got him what he wanted. As he drifted

off his grandfather voice came to him again: "From what I see, you're either going to be a

great cop or a better criminal."

The End

21