utilizing ecological model to understand the impact of...

Utilizing Ecological Model to Understand the Impact of Parents with BPD on Children's Development

Human Services 315 Term Paper Final Draft Western Washington University Kathleen Irene Garner-Jewett

DECEMBER 1, 2013

Garner-Jewett, Kathleen 1

Utilizing Ecological Model to Understand the Impact of Parents with BPD on Children's Development

My sophomore year of high school, my mother lost a large amount of weight,

starting hanging out with people who drank a lot, and contacted her college sweet heart. On

a whim she traveled to New York, New York, and spent about two thousand dollars of my

aunt’s money, saying it was needed for a medical emergency. In reality, she went to visit

her lost love and paid for him to enter an art competition at the cost of my aunt, leaving her

struggling to pay for rent. When my mother returned from New York, she claimed to be

pregnant. I have never in my life been so embarrassed and ashamed of my mother. I had to

go through the pain again and again as I had to tell my friends, coaches, teachers, and young

life leaders that my mother, who I once looked up to for spiritual guidance and

encouragement, got pregnant outside of marriage.

In the nine months to follow my family intermittently went without heat or internet

because of my mom’s outrageous spending. My mother’s “best friend” during this time

period punched my mother in the face and threatened her with a knife, leading my mother

to call the police. My brother, mother, and I were almost kicked out because of my mother’s

continual outbursts at my aunt. Throughout this entire period I should also mention the

skepticism of my aunt, my brother, my friends, and me. My mom didn’t look pregnant. She

didn’t seem to exhibit any of the typical symptoms. And yet, my mom extravagantly bought

an expensive crib, Nordstrom baby clothes, and numerous toys from Lakeshore Learning.

After ten months had passed, my mother was gone for an entire day, ignoring all of our

phone calls, texts, and voicemails. She came home that night saying the baby had a heart

complication and had to stay in the hospital. My aunt called the hospital asking if there was

a baby with the name my mother had said, and they had no records of that name. My


mother had lied. To my younger brother, to my aunt who works incredibly hard to support

my family, to the receptionist at my doctor’s office, to me, and to so many others.. I had to

go to each person I had originally told about my mother’s pregnancy and tell them the

reality of the situation. Since 2010 we have stopped asking about the baby, and my mother

has stopped saying that she was the mother of four children, when really she was the

mother of three. Through this trial in my life I felt utter loneliness and immense confusion. I

loved my mother so much, but at the same time, I hated her for the ways she harmed my

family. Though only officially diagnosed with PTSD and depression, three counselors have

told me that they believe my mother has borderline personality disorder. In the last few

years I have been uncovering the ways that my mother’s disorder has impacted my

development. Borderline Personality Disorder has enormous effects on development of the

individual with the disorder, as well as the development of the loved ones surrounding that

individual, especially their children. Throughout this essay I will work to explore the

impact that parents with personality disorders have on their children’s development

within the framework of Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Theory.

Understanding Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Theory


According to our textbook, Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Theory can be defined as a

model that “views behavior and development as a shared function of the characteristics of

the individual (biological or genetic

factors and personality) and the

environment (social, physical, and

cultural aspects of one’s present

surroundings, such as family, school,

and neighborhood), along with the

larger contemporary and historical

contexts of which these are an

integral part, such as society and

period in which one is born and lives

his or her life.” It is important to also

note that Bronfenbrenner’s

Ecological Systems Theory is fluid, and each system can affect, and also be affected by the

individual. (Gardiner, 2011)

IndividualAt the center of Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Model is the individual. Typically, for a middle

class individual with parents that do not have borderline personality disorder, on an

individual basis they have been raised learning that they have self-worth, and are deeply

attached to their mothers.

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MicrosystemThe next part of the model is the Microsystem or the layer closest to the child, that

the child has direct contact with. Their Microsystem is largely made up of family. Often

times their parents will have consistency in their romantic lives, as well as their places of

work. Individuals with parents that do not have personality disorders will often also have

extended family and family friends play large roles in their microsystem. The Microsystem

is also made up of the child’s doctor’s office, day-care centers, school, church, and

neighborhood play area.

MesosystemNext in the ecological systems theory comes the Mesosystem, which is made up of

the relationships that the individual has with their microsystem. Normally children in

middle class family homes with parents that are free of mental disorders have strong

connections and attachment to their mothers. Their mothers often work to express their

worth, and typically do not view their children as need-gratifying objects. Mother-child

relationships are often not characterized by stress and usually do not involve the child

feeling traumatized by constant issues related to their parents personalities. During

development, children learn a significant amount of healthy coping mechanisms as well as

mirroring and social interactions that, if done properly, can work to raise a healthy, sound,

and social able child.

Many times the individual will have a variety of role models in the forms of friends

and family of their parents. These family friends and extended family members play an

important role in guiding the child and being a support member for said child. If in stable


homes, many children with parents that are free of personality disorders do not have a

higher risk of academic problems.

ExosystemFor children living with parents that do not have personality disorders, their

Exosystem is often made up of social settings that they might not be a direct part of, but

regardless, can have an enormous impact on one’s development. These social settings can

include their parent’s workplace, community health and welfare services, legal services,

mass media, and the neighborhood they live in, but might not necessarily engage in.

MacrosystemThe next system is called the Macrosystem, and this system is typically made up of

values, laws, and customs that the individual with parents living without personality

disorders is exposed to. For an individual such as this in middle class America, one could

say that aspects of their Macosystem could include freedom of speech, freedom of religion,

consumerism, and the American dream.

ChronosystemThe final aspect of the Bronfenbrenner Ecological Model is the Chronosystem. This

system is ambiguous, but can generally be defined as “time and sociohistorical conditions.”

(Gardiner, 2011) Using this as a definition, we can say that for an individual with parents

that are free of personality disorders, aspects of the

Chronosystem, if born in 1992, could include 9/11, the Iraq War,

and the increased awareness of the environmental degradation

of our world.


Defining Borderline Personality DisorderBefore comparing the life of a person whose parents did not have Borderline

Personality Disorder compared to a person who grew up with a parent who has Borderline

Personality Disorder, one first needs to define BPD. BPD can vary drastically because the

categorization of the disease is so varied. It is defined in the DSM as

“A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects,

and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts,

as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment,

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized

by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation,

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of

self,

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending,

sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating),

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior,

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic

dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more

than a few days),

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness,

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays

of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights),

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9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.”

Because of this it is important to keep in mind that the impact of the parent’s

disorder can also vary greatly. (American Psychological Association, 2013)

Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems Theory for a Child with a parent that has BPD

IndividualFor individuals who were raised with parents that have personality disorders, the

individual can be quite different. It is important to preface this section by stating that

according to Jennie Macfie, “Although not ideal, research on parents with mental illness

almost always refers to mothers because mothers are more often the primary caregiver,

especially in early development, and more likely to be the sole caregiver in single-parent

households.” (Macfie, 2009) Macfie goes on to state that very little research has been done

in this field. The evidence that does exist however points to the fact that children who are

raised by parents/mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder are greatly impacted by

their parent’s disorders. Luckily, there is hope though, that while the disorder is connected

genetically, according to Nigg and Goldsmith from the University of California Berkeley and

the University of Wisconsin, “11.5% of first-degree relatives of people with BPD also have

BPD (Nigg & Goldsmith, 1994),” we can take hope in the fact that the remaining 89.5% of

individuals directly related to people with BPD do not have the disease.

Microsystem and MesosystemEarly on, if a child has little or no other access to caregivers besides the parent with

Borderline Personality Disorder, the child can be dramatically impacted. In, The Borderline

mother and her child: a couple at risk, Chlebowski states that “Mothers with BPD may have

difficulties with bonding, internalization, affect attunement and attachment. The child may


fail to develop object constancy and master the tasks of individuation, separation and

rapprochement. It is through mirroring and mentalization that a child can learn emotion

regulation and master the early stages of development.” (Chlebowski, 2013) This would

have drastic impacts on the child later on in life, including difficulty in building personal

relationships and memory development, therefore impacting their Microsystems and

Mesosystems.

My research goes further to show the impact on children in the article by Andrea E.

Lamont of Columbia University, who states that “Children of mothers with BPD are victims

of verbal and/or physical abuse.” (Lamont, 2006) She continues, stating that such hostility

is often “disguised as love, making it difficult for a child to trust,” their own perceptions of

reality. (Lamont, 2006) Andrea goes on to state that “since children of mothers with BPD

typically display a disorganized behavioral pattern and are forced to consistently cope with

their mother’s borderline symptomatology.” (Lamont, 2006) This can have a dramatic

impact on the child’s ability to relate interpersonally. It would be incredibly difficult to

develop a sense of trust with someone who is constantly changing the way they treat you,

while your actions stay the same. Therefore one could infer that the Microsystem as well as

the Mesosystem would be dramatically impacted through these findings.

Many children living with parents who have Borderline Personality Disorder may

experience a lack of caregivers or relationships due to their parent producing an

“invalidating social environment.” This means that due to the nature of their disorder, the

parent will often have unrealistic expectations of relationships, and/or flip-flop between

the feelings they have towards people, leaving the individual with few people to turn to for


support and friendship. According to Stepp Et. Al., “From the child's perspective, this might

include having…fewer caregivers who are effective (e.g., emotionally supportive and

validating); fewer tangible or instrumental resources, and a generally more chaotic social

environment”. (Stepp, Et. Al., 2012) Without resources such as these, it can be difficult to

escape the cycles of anger and shame that are involved in an individual living with

Borderline Personality Disorder. This further displays the impact that a parent with BPD

can have on a child’s Microsystem and Mesosystem.

Exosystem and BeyondThe impacts of having a parent with BPD go further than just affecting interpersonal

relationships and one’s own idea of self. According to Osyerman Et. Al. in the Journal of

Marriage and Family, “Children of mothers with a serious mental illness have been shown

to be at increased risk [of] problems in school and academics.” (Osyerman Et. Al. 2002) Not

only does this continue to directly impact the success of the student’s success in school, and

therefore, their Microsystem and Mesosystem, but additionally on a larger scale. School

administrations, school boards, and other overarching systems within the school district

are impacted as well. Test scores and grades of the student with a parent that has BPD

would have an enormous impact on the development of curriculum and the organization

and allocation of funding within the school district. Therefore, the child’s Exosystem is

influenced by their parent’s disorder. We can go further to say that the national

standardized test scores have been impacted by children with a parent who has BPD, and

therefore can say that the child’s Exosystem was impacted in this way as well.


Stepp Et. Al. from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine states that “there are

estimated to be over 6 million women in the United States diagnosed with BPD ( Stepp, Et.

Al., 2004).” Many of these women are most likely mothers, “which when combined with the

extensive functional impairments associated with this disorder represents a problem of

enormous public concern.” This goes to show that our nation has been dramatically

impacted by the presence of mothers with Borderline Personality Disorder. The

implications that these people would have on our nation’s values, laws, and customs is

enormous. It is also very important to consider the implications of the nation’s existing

values, laws, and cultures, and how these are also impacting the child’s development. For

example, our nation puts great value on wealthy, two-parent households. This is not

realistic for many children being raised by parents with BPD, and would indefinitely affect

the development of the child.

Utilizing Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Systems Theory in my own Development

In my own family’s experience, my mother dramatically impacted the access to

support and stability of our lives. In my own mother I can identify six out of the nine DSM

identified traits of people living with Borderline Personality Disorder. My sister, who

majored in psychology while in college, adamantly has been saying that my mom has BPD

for years. It wasn’t until I took psychology 101 at Western that I truly identified my mother

with the disorder. I have tried on numerous accounts to assist her in seeking resources and

support for her disorder, but the harsh reality of the situation is that

while many medications can help treat the symptoms of the disease, including mood

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swings, and depression, the disorder itself is incredibly

difficult to treat. This is evident in the book titled Stop

Walking on Eggshells, taking your life back when someone

you care about has Borderline Personality Disorder, where

Paul Mason and Randi Kreger state that in 1986, “The

McGlashan Chestnut Lodge study showed that 53 percent of

patients with BPD were considered “recovered” and that patients seemed to do better once

they reached their forties” (Mason and Kreger, 1998). The authors go on to state that

critical common threads they noticed in people who were considered recovered included

the willingness to “work through their inner pain instead of deflecting it onto other

people,” “had faith in themselves…had access to continued therapy,…[and] received the

appropriate medication.” (Mason and Kreger, 1998) I dream of the day that my mother can

take responsibility for her actions, and work through her inner pain instead of continuing

to deflect it onto her loved ones.

Individual

On an individual level my

concept of self-worth has been shaped

greatly by her constant belittling over

the smallest of tasks, and her

consistent flip flop of love me or leave

me. I am still bitter because of the


ways I had to fight for resources and mentors that other children were given with much

more ease. I always thought it was my fault that people stopped supporting my mom,

family, and I. I still feel shame when I tell people that my mother has Borderline Personality

Disorder. It is my biggest fear that I will one day develop the disorder. And while I know

that this isn’t very likely, and that I have already succeeded and overcome the obstacles

that her disorder has presented in my life, I deeply worry that I will somehow develop a

personality disorder because of the way my mother’s disorder has disrupted my

development.

Microsystem and Mesosystem

In my Microsystem I see the anger patterns that my brother has developed from my

mom, and I worry deeply for his own sense of worth. I think of my aunt, who has taken the

burden of supporting my mother through every impulsive shopping spree and outrageous

purchase that my mother has made. In my microsystem I think of the father I didn’t see

while growing up after my parents got divorced. According to Crump and Anderson, people

living with Borderline Personality Disorder “resist division of anything, because parting

with even equal or smaller parts is intolerable. This behavior relates both to children and

to property, as well as to any other rights at stake. Division means a loss of the kind that the

sufferer most fears. In fact, separation from a child, however temporary, may be so painful

that the idea leads to purposeful or inadvertent alienating behaviors. In other words, the

afflicted parent may take steps to induce the child to avoid the other parent and then

withhold visitation because the child "doesn't want to go." (Crump and Anderson, 2009)

My mother fought diligently to keep full custody of both my brother and I, which, in doing


so, kept me from having another example of a consistent adult role model in my life. I see

her attachment issues much clearer now, and work to establish clear boundaries with her

now.

My Mesosystem was also impacted by my mother’s Borderline Personality Disorder.

My mother worked intermittently over the course of 4 years as an interior designer at both

Ethan Allen and Basset Furniture, regularly missing work and being unable to get out of

bed because of her spurts of Dysphoria. Because of this, money, housing, and heat were

always inconsistent during my childhood. My ability to trust others was also heavily

influenced by her. Luckily though, I have chosen to surround myself with people who act

much differently than her, and provide me with unfailing support and love that I can easily

identify.

Exosystem and BeyondOn a larger scale, my Exosystem and Macrosystem were also impacted because of

my mother’s disorder. I will say that the judicial system has been impacted by those who

have Borderline Personality Disorder, as mentioned earlier parents with BPD will often be

much more aggressive to keep full custody of their children. Additionally, I believe that the

Government is impacted by the costs of medication to aid people living with Borderline

Personality Disorder. I believe that the government is also impacted by standardized test

scores of the children who are living with parents that have personality disorders. My

Exosystem and Macrosystem have also impacted me, but in a way that is similar to that of a

person whose parents do not have a personality disorder. For example, the media and

culture suggests that we live in a dichotomous world, and I at points in my life have been

influenced by that cultural ideal.


ConclusionMy life has been hugely impacted because of my mother’s Borderline Personality

Disorder. Children living with parents that have personality disorders have Microsystems,

Mesosystems, Exosystems, Macrosystems, and views of self that differ greatly because of

their parent’s disorders. These differences have dramatically impacted their development,

and therefore are incredibly important to study. Through considering each aspect of

Bronfenbrenner’s Ecological Model, we can more easily see the enormous impact that

parents with personality disorders have on their children’s development through each

system in the model. While many of these impacts are negative, there is definite hope for

individuals whose development has been impacted by having parents with Borderline

Personality Disorder to overcome the obstacles presented in their development because of

their parent’s disorder.

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