up portland august 2015

Up Portland 08.15 On The Web At: www.upportland.com

August 2015

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Welcome to the fi rst edition of Up Portland, the free newspaper which will tell you what is “up” downtown in Maine’s most dynamic centre city.

We intend to cover news (As best we can being a monthly!) of

things going on downtown, but more than that look for us to tell you some neat places to visit, some restaurants to not miss (and a few perhaps to miss as our reviewers can be brutally honest) and more than a few movies and performances to see. We also will have a monthly fi nancial column, computer and tech column called Hackin’ The Net, a bit of this & that Sauntering around downtown, and along the way what we hope will be a collection of downtown photos which we will also put on line for you to use as desktops and screen savers, share with friends and download free.

For this initial edition, we are printing 6,000 copies, but expect that to expand greatly as we distribute throughout downtown — but ONLY downtown — so don’t look for us in Westbrook or Gray or Freeport unless you happen to live, visit or work downtown and like the paper so much you take a copy with you. (You will, right?)

With so many newspapers in a city this size you might be asking, “Do we really need another?” and after exhaustive research and talking to a lot of folks the answer is, “Yes, we sure hope so!”, because we are specialists and our beat is strictly downtown. Don’t look for us to cover the legislature or what’s up on the turnpike. In the coming months do look for us to offer a list of late kitchen closings where you can get dinner downtown after nine. And do look for us to try and keep you abreast of special people, as well as events which might close streets or cause traffi c headaches you may want to avoid.

Also, in the middle of every edition, we will have a downtown map — one that you can actually read and follow and use to get from Point A to Point B without a lot of distractions. That will let you (local or visiting) fi nd your way around all of the city streets and to the spots you want to visit or eat. Unlike other maps and guides, we will be revised monthly all year long, so the items on Up Downtown’s guide will be up-to-date, not a year or more old.

Finally, who are “we” and do we have a clue what we are doing?

Well the former answer is a publisher and a crew of designers and writers who have been doing this for a quarter century or


more. And where or how do we know? Because we were owners of Up Downtown Indianapolis for 24 years until April when we sold that paper, pulled up stakes and, after a search in three countries, decided to make Portland our new forever home.

More exactly, we’re located in downtown Portland. This is not only our beat and our street, but it’s also our home – and nobody knows home like the folks who live there.

So after that windy intro, welcome to our fi rst edition and be in touch with news, views, opinions and anything you want to share involving downtown Portland. If you live here, we hope you will make Up Downtown a monthly habit to pick up. If you are visiting, may we say welcome and invite you to enjoy the city, use the maps, news and info during your visit and come back and see us soon.

Whether local or out of town, you can also read us free online at www.upportland.com so you locals can stay in touch and those visiting can think of us as a permanent free souvenir to read from wherever you are each month. Welcome to your newspaper!

Ted Fleischaker, Publisher.

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A Dedication...Readers of this newspaper will have never seen nor heard of Denny (Denise) Solso, but we’d like to dedicate this first issue to her. It was thanks in part to what she did for us from 2008 until a few months ago that we are able to start Up Down-town Portland. In fact, one of the last text ex-changes we had with her was asking if she’d help with this new venture and she said simply, “Bring it on!” Denny was, to fill readers in, for over a half dozen years our mentor and our proofreader.

A retired school teacher and ex-employee of The Republic, the daily newspaper in Columbus, In-diana, she had a degree from DePauw University and was married to Tim Solso, who was CEO of Cummins Engine until he “retired” a couple years ago to become, in retirement, chairman of the board of General Motors.

Tim & Denny had the good misfortunate to live next door to us back when we used to own our Indiana paper, and the better we got to know one another, the more we knew she had to become the

grammar police for us. And for many years she was — proofing on paper when she was at home or electroni-cally from as far away as India and South America.

Proofing a newspaper meant she broadened

our use of proper grammar: commas, periods and especially those pesky capital letters which some-times go in statements surrounded in parenthesis but sometimes not.

We at Up Downtown want to take this opportunity to bid Denny a fond farewell as she died from (or is that of?) lung cancer on the afternoon of the 4th of July at her ranch in Montana, surrounded by her family and likely by a stack of her ever-present word games, crossword puzzles and magazines. Denny was a one-and-only, a best friend, a com-panion and she also wielded a mean red pen and didn’t spare us a single comma or period out of place. We miss her and cherish her memory. R.I.P. Denny!


To Be, Or Not To Be? Is TheQuestion For You Downtown!

by Peter Michalakes

To be, or not to be?

That is the question which Fenix Theatre will be asking the public in its 2015 pro-duction of Hamlet, now performing in Deering Oaks Park through August. It is the company’s 8th anniversary of Shakespeare in the Park, and this year’s line of shows is set to be the most ambitious and thrilling to date.

In Fenix Theatre’s view, not only must Shakespeare in the Park be performed out-doors, but it also must be available to as many audience members as possible. Ab-igail Killeen, the director of this year’s production of Hamlet, says that the primary goal of Shakespeare in the Park is to engage all kinds of audience members.

“We want to speak to a broad audience,” Killeen said. She believes that the central part of attracting a broad audience is keeping the shows free. “We’re about wanting to tell these stories in relevant ways that can speak to a broad audience...and when you offer these shows for free, you get a broad audience.”

Killeen has been with Shakespeare in the Park since 2011, but this is her first year as a director. In previous productions, such as last year’s acclaimed comedy As You Like It, she was an actress.

PASSION AND SIMPLICITY

“We’re about passion, and we’re about simplicity.” The goal of Shakespeare in the Park is to spread the joy of theatre through an easily-digestible performance. A big change from previous years’ shows is the addition of microphones, and Killeen is excited about their storytelling capabilities and the ways they can complement the actors. “The image and the image-maker are one...we want to see the puppet and the puppeteer working together,” she said. Killeen is optimistic that the new micro-phones will support the simplicity of the show rather than hinder it. “Whoever has the mic has the power to speak – it adds a new power dynamic to the story.”

IN A TRUCK?

Hamlet is a play filled with love and war, drama and suspense, and most of all, a main character who is undeniably human. Killeen was the main reason that Hamlet was brought to Deering Oaks, as she had seen the play numerous times and had developed a keen eye for Hamlet’s theatrical elements. This year’s play will, uncon-ventionally, take place in a truck. “I saw video footage of a dance company that did Hamlet in a truck and I said...oh my gosh, I need to do Hamlet in a truck!”

After suggesting her idea to the general managers at Fenix Theatre over the phone, the team began planning Hamlet – in a truck – for the 2015 edition of Shakespeare in the Park. “To his credit, (the general manager) didn’t hang up the phone. He said, ‘Tell me more!’”

RAIN OR SHINE

Of course, any outdoor event has one true nemesis: weather. “We stay outside in order to keep as many people as possible able to see this play,” Killeen said. Some-times, though, weather is not always friendly. “One year we did Macbeth, and it started to thunderstorm in the middle of the show...but the audience stayed, every-one stayed. It was visceral,” Killeen said.

The outdoor setting of Shakespeare in the Park is what makes its shows unique and the weather during Macbeth was what cemented Killeen’s experience as unforgetta-ble. Even so, Fenix Theatre is prepared. Safety is their top priority, and while their facilities are ready to operate in light to moderate rainshowers, if things get severe they can and will call a time out or even cancel a performance. They advise viewers to simply pack a rain jacket along with their blankets, just in case the weather were to take a turn for the worst. “If people come up hungry to see this play, we will find a way to share it with them,” Killeen noted.

SOMETHING TO BE EXCITED ABOUT

When asked what the audience should be looking forward to at this year’s Shake-speare in the Park, Killeen responded simply: “I want them to experience the play in a profound way.” Such is the goal of any artist, and Shakespeare in the Park is truly art at its most pure.

The annual event began in July, but there’s still time to catch one of the last perfor-mances of Fenix Theatre’s Hamlet. It will be performed in Deering Oaks Park at 6.30 p.m. 6th, 7th, and 8th August. The shows are completely free to the public, so pack that blanket, a snack or two, and don’t forget a rain jacket “just in case.”

Peter Michalakes can be reached at [email protected]


Food For Thought...

Writing about food & restaurants to an audience in Portland is somewhat like the old line about carrying coals to Newcastle or selling snowballs to an Eskimo. It’s somewhat difficult, often thankless and in some ways is why it will be fun.

I should note I have been doing food reviews on TV, radio and in print in cities in the South and Midwest for over 30 years. I have my own good and bad biases and will always try and tell readers what I feel and why. You are free to make your own choices and go see if I am right, wrong or bits of both. And that includes e-mailing or writing to tell me if I got it right or wrong. Remember: a review is an opinion and like you-know-what’s, we all got one. I’m sharing mine in each issue of Up Down-town and want to hear yours!

Before I get to some of my first comments about the food here in my new home (I moved to Portland in early May) I will say I do not plan to cave in to any of the restaurateurs, and at the same time the more anonymous I am, the better job I feel I can do. I am fully aware of the local reviewer/blogger who got banned from a group of eateries because he reviewed them when they were not “ready”. And my com-ment there is: shame on BOTH sides.

Shame on him since he made sure they not only knew where and who he was (an-onymity is half the battle) and shame on them for reacting like (dare I say it right here in my first review?) spoiled children.Everyone needs to know the food business is just that: a business. We happily carry restaurant reviews, so look for them every issue. Some will, I am sure, thrill the restaurant owners. Some will exasperate them. And some will be “just OK”.

Just remember that a restaurant is (and always will be) a business. Just as you might look for that perfectly fitting pair of jeans in say American Eagle or Bon-Ton, you might not find them. Does this mean you have to buy what they DO have? I don’t, and I bet readers don’t either. I keep looking for the “fit” I want or the colour and sometimes that means shopping elsewhere or an internet order. It also means sometimes I spend more and sometimes less. It’s the same with a meal.

Oh, and before I change topics here, please keep in mind that I have NO shame in walking out of a restaurant before I order if they either do not have what I want (Out of lobsters? I get it, and congrats on selling them all tonight, but I will go elsewhere ‘cause I really want one now. I’ll see you next time!) or an unduly long wait. It’s MY fault if I failed to reserve so showing up on a Saturday night in season at seven and wanting a table immediately is probably not going to happen (at least this time of year) so I do not expect it to.

What I do expect is a polite “I am sorry we are full” or “We can seat you, but after nine” or some such. Be warned: I do not like snarky gate-keepers (call them hosts or hostesses) and any restaurant where I do reserve and show up on time that ships me to the bar or makes me wait over 20 minutes is going to read about it in this space.

We know you cannot make that table of six leave after they have finished and paid, but they need to see that others are waiting and if they don’t then it’s up to the staff to politely, subtly remind them while keeping those on “hold” informed and not forgotten. That said, I do have a few review-ing “rules”) and here they are for all to see:

—I will not review any restaurant that has not been open at least 30 days. It’s not fair to the restaurant, the owners, the staff or the folks reading. Give the staff and owners time to work out the bugs (And the crew time to find the restroom, much less learn the menu and chef’s quirks!)

—There’s no such thing as a free lunch (or dinner). That means every review we write will be for food we (or someone we were with, like a family member or friend) paid for. If a restaurant does ads here (and we hope many will) and part of the pay is trade, we will gladly eat all the traded meals and share with friends, but we won’t be asking for nor taking any freebies for food we are reviewing. Re-viewers should never request free or discounted food and should be

non-bias, so no free lunches. If someone does identify us and asks to toss the bill, we will decline.

—No one can be totally anonymous but we will be as much so as possible. We use others in our party’s names when we reserve and if we are walk-ins even better though that likely will mean a wait. Notice there is no byline on this column, either.

—We love to take photos of our meals and send them to the folks we know in Flor-ida and the Midwest who are not blessed with the wonderful food and choice we have in Portland, but that’s been the case since we got a camera phone and we see folks doing it all over the place. If we are asked by an eatery staff not to take a photo we will comply, but we also reserve the right to mention the restaurant refused our right to take a photo if we are reviewing. Remember restaurants: we pay for what’s on the plate and it is “our property” so restaurant owners, let’s not be childish. Be-sides, you don’t know if the person asking his or her oysters to smile for the camera is a reviewer, a tourist or a local so make that plating look good every time and know that regardless, we are all paying for the meal we want to remember.

—And finally, we have the same policy many other publications do, which is if we have an OK or better meal somewhere, we will write about it. If things go terribly wrong — either on the plate or with staff, we will return and try it again before writ-ing. That gives the restaurants an extra chance to make things work because like us, everyone can and does have a bad day or night. That doesn’t excuse constant bad service or food (or poor value) but it does give a needed 2nd chance.

So all that said, what are our first comments on Portland food for public consump-


tion? It appears all of the places we have been to try do try hard to please their customers. Some do better than others. We also have to say that the mix between where the “locals” go to eat and where the “visitors” mainly go is equally balanced. We have had some great meals at “touristy” spots like Duckfat (super staff great eats), and some lousy ones like one at DiMillo’s where we found what we felt was overpriced food served with way too much “pomp” for our tastes. Same with the local spots — some good and some not so good.

We are going to talk about one of the greats this time, and will say we have a long list of possible suspects so do not miss an issue as we have a lot more to write in the coming months. For this time, though it’s Dock’s Seafood (15 Evans St, South Port-land and on the web at www.docksseafood.com). Do not be fooled by the address, it’s not downtown, but it IS just across the Fore River Bridge then right on Broad-way under a mile so it’s not that far from downtown and it’s well worth the trip.

Dock’s is an informal family-owned seafood shop which sells the fish and lobster to take home or eat there. If you are taking it home, you can do that either cooked or raw. Their lobsters, dry scallops, oysters and all the other items are so fresh you’d swear they were on the dock, not a bit inland.

Dock’s has both indoor and outdoor seating, and is open from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. seven days a week. We like the fact that it’s family owned, and even after just a few visits, they know us by name, greet us, and in my case, almost always know that I want their two-lobster dinner shown in the photo above. It’s currently (as of presstime) $24, but I’m told coming down a bit as season progresses.

Dock’s takes no reservations for either their indoor or outdoor seating areas and it can feature a long line, but what’s on the plate is well worth the wait. We like it that rolls of paper towels as well as malt and white vinegars are both in baskets on the tables, along with the ketchup, salt & pepper and traditional items. So many places where I order a lobster I find myself scrounging for that “extra napkin” to wipe up, but here paper comes by the roll and attentive staff make sure all tables are well-stocked.

If you are not into lobster, Dock’s has a full menu which covers the majority of a wall. Partner Ivan doesn’t like to do the “work” for his lobster and swears by Dock’s lobster rolls, though sometimes he takes the fried haddock instead. Choice of potato or corn, as well as slaw accompanies most meals and do not miss the specials chalk-board by the register for the daily deals, either.

Dock’s is one of those places where one goes for food. Lots of food and good food. There’s outdoor seating if that’s your thing but to us what matters is what’s on the plate and the friendly staff, who have already adopted us into the family. That’s the crew (photo on the next page) who run the register and already know us on a first-name basis.

A word about Dock’s though: do not be late! When they say they close the kitchen and last orders are at 8 p.m. they really do mean it. Nobody will end up starving in the street and they were nice and did make us food one evening when we forgot and showed up at 8.10, but they have a hard-working really fun staff and when it’s eight bells they (and the owners, who are always on-site) are ready and deserve to go home. If we plan Dock’s we plan to be out the door at our downtown home by seven so we leave plenty of time for the Fore River bridge to maybe be up and to still get the town’s hottest and best lobsters ordered by eight.

For a Midwesterner transplanted to Maine, Dock’s is the best we have found and about the only “down side” we can say is we wish like so many other lobster meals we’ve had since arriving here that they used real silverware and plates. They do have metal picks and crackers but as we are learning is the local custom in so many places, the forks are plastic. That, however, was not enough to keep my sister and her family, (here a few weeks back for a week’s visit) from doing dinner at Dock’s not once, but twice in under seven days.

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Food For Thought...

And finally, before anybody writes or calls to say there are better places for lobster, yes I have been to Red’s Eats in Wiscasset, to Warren’s in Kittery and to the Ogun-quit Lobster Pound as well as many others and I will have comments along the way, but for us Dock’s is the first choice when Maine’s favourite crustacean calls — just so long as it’s before 8 o’clock!

Bits & bites... More restaurant comment... Several of my friends and neigh-bours in Downtown Portland have asked the biggest adjustments my partner, Ivan, and I have had to make with our 1100 mile move to Maine from Indiana. They all expected things like Winter weather (sorry Mainers, Indiana has cold though not as much snow most years) or higher property taxes (Yikes!) but the biggest answer is adjusting when we eat to restaurant schedules. Things in Maine tend to open and close earlier than they did in the Midwest, thus we plan to start a “late kitchens” list in the next issue or two and we have learned if you are not on time, you simply will not get fed “after hours” here. The down-side to that is obvious, but there’s an up-side too: Get your closing times right and show up fairly late (but not so late that you hold the staff over so go, eat and leave) and you will see great service, the same food your friends and tourists stood in line for a couple hours previously and a re-laxed crew glad to see you as their last customer of the night. Look at this photo we took on a Monday night in July at Duckfat. The food was grand as ever, the staff fun as ever (though fave waiter Andrew was off this particular evening) but there was no wait, things came out promptly and we tipped and were out the door shortly be-fore it got locked at 10. The verdict: Staff won (one more tip), owners won (another customer) and we won. Try it, just remember don’t dally over your food and they’ll be glad to see you batting “clean-up” again next time!

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Up Downtown Comments...

Editorial & Opinion From Us & You

Call this first one a photo-torial if you wish, but each month Up Portland will attempt to comment on various things which “yank our chains” or seem to need attention on the Peninsula. This time it’s to ask: What are the proper uses of our streets & sidewalks and who is keeping track of them?

It was brought to mind by two incidents: One, a grumble to us from a business on Exchange Street complaining about a temporary park set up by MECA and occupying a block of Federal Street making “going around the block” to find parking or drop off or pick up something or some-one at a business in the area more difficult. While interest-ing and worth a visit, the temporary park (due to last until October) does make getting around in the area more dif-ficult. Area businesses said traffic concerns voiced to the city were ignored and the park built anyway.

Meanwhile, we were headed for a bite to eat along Mid-dle Street recently when a gentleman with mobility issues walking in front of us threw his hands in the air and said, “How do they expect me or anyone else to get through here?” He was pointing to signs, sidewalk cafes and other obstacles blocking the way. It made us notice still more of these “barriers”, including one “cafe” we have counted tables on just a handfull of times, and others which seem to “drift” into pedestrian areas so badly that some days even the able-bodied need to go single file to get through.

It all begs the question of where are the regulators, and if we do not have them (or sufficient rules) when might we expect to see city council act? It’s bad enough we have walks like the one pictured disintigrating along Congress Street, but it seems a shame to have decent sidewalks and streets in other areas being taken up by private businesses to quite the extent they are.

That’s what we think. What’s your opinion? Let us know by e-mail at [email protected] or via the form on our website: www.upportland.com


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What A Summer...And We Ain’t Done Yet!

Old Port Fest

Marathon RunnersThe Tall Ships

Lesbian & Gay Pride Weekend

Picnic In Lincoln ParkReturn of The Nova Star

July 4th on the Eastern Prom

Photos By Peter Michalakes, Mat Robedee, Ivan Howard & Ted Fleischaker


Hackin’The Net

By Ted Fleischaker / Publisher

EDITOR’S NOTE—Hackin’ The Net is our monthly column dealing with all things tech. It’s computers, modems, TV’s, phones and anything electronic. Hope you enjoy it and will submit any questions you have to us about your gadgets at [email protected])

Several topics this month, including a review of the Apple watch which just arrived at our house. But first, I recently had the opportunity to attend a really unique pro-gramme which the folks at the Apple store at the Maine Mall put on. It involved two Grammy Award winning record producers (and we’re talking for the “big guys” like Springstein and his ilk) who use Maine as a base for their work these days and stu-dents and staff from Casco Bay High School, which is what’s known as an “Expedi-tionary Learning school,” meaning the school’s very cool and involved student body take classes and work on and learn about everything from sailing ships to garage bands as part of their curriculum.

Apple’s Maine Mall store’s business team had an all-girl folk/rock band named Nev-erland in from the school. They performed (photo at right) for the record producers who offered advice and words of wisdom about making it big in the entertainment business — all while using Apple Mac products and programmes such as Garage Band.

What made it all exciting to this writer though were two things the pros talked about to the students and business customers gathered that morning: One, the huge increase in what we can all do with technology over what was possible just a few years back; and two, the fact that these days we don’t seem to do a good job con-trolling technology and sometimes that technology controls us to the point where “art” and “creativity” take back seats.

I was amazed when the record producers showed how equipment has changed: from a photo of a whole room full (and $2 million worth) of gear in the 1980s to accomplish the same task we can all do on home Macs and pcs today. But the most startling fact we were told was that the idea of digital music was not something someone dreamt up in the 70s, 80s or 90s — it was deemed possible and developed about the time of World War Two. The only reason it didn’t happen for almost another generation was that until the 1980s and later, there were no computers powerful or fast enough to handle all of the calculations at a speed for it to actually work! In other words, the technology had to catch up to the reality! And now who can possibly imagine audio that is not stereo and not digital?

And that second comment: the one about us being unable to harness technology rather than letting it control us hit home especially hard because if you are like me, you rarely have a second you are not calling, texting, Facebooking, listening to digital music and more...and we all have done a pretty bad job of letting the gear control us and not the other way round.

It all goes back to the Day of Unplugging — a 24 hour period every March during which we are all urged to turn off, switch off and enjoy books, family, nature or

something non-electronic — and the simple act of not going wild just because we now all hold in our pockets and hands the ability to do anything and contact any one anywhere and at any time. I found it interesting that two music and digital experts had to bring up this thought to a group of high schoolers snapping photos of the event on phones and texting every word to friends.

Even a class from a local middle school in journalism was present to “cover” the day’s events — all shooting photos on phones and taking notes on iPads, to help further drive home the point that we have let the technology control us and leaving this 65-year-old reporter longing for a pen and an old reporter’s notebook, all the while using my own iPhone to photograph the event!

And now, it’s about “time”. And the “time” is here to write about it as the Apple Watch is out and available at your local Apple Store for purchase. And our house-hold finally owns one of the illustrious new offerings from our favourite and often-talked-about tech giant.

But before you get out your wallet let me be clear after using our watch for a week or three: The Apple Watch is not for everyone. Ours came at a sizable discount as husband Ivan is a full “time” Apple employee.

And I’m sure even if a discount had not been offered we eventually would have found the cash to buy one. I’m told, too, as I write this that there is now a friends and family discount on them so if I decide I want one for myself it won’t hurt my semi retiree wallet too much. But on to the meat of my review.... and what is it (or could it be) that makes the Ap-ple watch so great that I should at least go by my Apple store for a try on? Nothing and everything. The Apple watch — while it is what Apple refers to as a “Hero prod-uct” much like the iPhone and the Apple TV — is not a gadget that offers instant gratification. When ours arrived via FedEx literally overnight from China (We where in awe at watching it track from China to Alaska, to the UPS Air Hub in Louisville and finally to our door in Portland all in 24 hours...) the weight of the long brown shipping box and the yet lighter but still substantial glamour box or retail packaging enclosed were both impressive.


From there we continued to open and unwrap each item. The box contains one extra long charging cable (USB on one end and inductive magnetic charging disk on the other), a new power block, and of course, the watch itself. After turning the watch on and waiting several minutes for its first boot up we were presented with a spiral graphic with a small Apple logo in the centre and a description of the device spelled out around the outside. At this point we were ready to pair it with our phone.

This process is started by holding the watch screen below our iPhone 6s’ camera (it works on the 5 also) and allowing it to be connected. Once it was paired, the watch display graphic dissolved into dancing pixels of dust flowing around the screen before ending with an Apple logo in the middle and a circular progress line that started at the top and went clockwise around the entire face until it was fully synced with the phone.

Next, it was on to choosing a watch face. Husband Ivan chose Mickey Mouse and still uses it primarily. He says he likes to see Mickey dance as he happily displays the hour and minutes with his hands. But Ivan sometimes changes from the mouse to the watch’s choice for an extra large face because while Mickey is fun and funny when Ivan is helping me set clocks around the condo, the big face is more accurate and easier see so he can get exact minutes. It’s a pain to have a partner who collects clocks and has over 50 which all need to get set and wound weekly, so they ring, chime and cuckoo together, but that’s a story for another “time”.

Back to the Apple Watch... after picking a face, it was time to choose what apps to actually have on said watch. Needless to say there is a big choice and more appear-

ing daily, but sometimes more is not better. After trying some of the watch interfac-es which each of the apps on offer have, it was decided to stick with the stock apps — for the “time being” at least.

One big reason for that at our house is practicality combined with eyesight. In other

words, a lot of the apps do things on the watch just fine, but the screen size does not lend itself to some uses — at least not for two guys who are both out of their teens and 20s and finding a bit bigger picture to be a good thing.

Besides, we found some apps are superfluous because you can find out in some form or another the same or similar info an app will present you with on your phone’s larger screen. This is entirely a personal choice (and eyesight) issue, but this is also a review, which means an opinion and to us, the small screen just does not lend itself to a pleasurable experience.

So what about the gratification that we love to experience when we get a new Apple product? To many (including the older of us) it’s just not there. At least not instantly. Except, that is, if you have friends who have Apple Watches and you want to send them your heart beat, an animated emoji or draw them a fun bit of art. This means that at the beginning it’s mostly just a watch. We feel that it does a very good job at being one, but you will have to wait if, like us, you want to experience those little aha moments.

Our advice after a few weeks: Be patient! Those revelations will start creeping in the more you use your watch. The biggest and most unexpected one so far was when we asked for directions from our iPhone, put the phone on its mount in the car and proceeded on our way only to start getting a gentle vibration and the sound of a turn signal from our watch!

At a quick glance it was revealed that the watch displayed an arrow pointing the direction we were to turn next and in big numerals, it was counting down approx-imately how many feet till our turn. This continued until we reached our desti-nation, which Ivan found cool as hell and the older half here found to be another distraction and yet another reason so many states and localities have restrictions on the use of phones and other distracting devices while driving. Maybe it’s an “age thing” or a true need to know but our jury’s out.

But here’s good news: after a few days of wearing the Apple Watch and it recording our movements and our heart rate it started displaying accurate measurements on the physical fitness front. Neither the old apps like Breeze for the iPhone or such extra things as a Fit Bit seem to this reviewer to do this very well and with as much accuracy as our Apple Watch. We’re talkin’ things such as steps walked, minutes of exercise, how many times we got off our butts and moved around (That’s once per hour for good health.) etc. Whatever shortcomings we found with regard to screen size and some other apps, we quickly decided that it was the ultimate exercise com-panion.

And there is more. Husband Ivan found a very useful (for him) app the first night called Timetable. Ivan’s days at work are divided on the schedule into two-hour increments with breaks between — including lunch halfway through his workday. Before this app, he was always wanting to know what he was doing next and when his break was coming up.

As was the case with Timetable, every so many days he or I discover something new on the watch which can prove beneficial in daily life. But once again, that full on instant gratification “wow moment” has just not surfaced. The Apple watch is made to be worn and as you continue to wear it you figure out how best fits you and how it can help make your life easier and more fun. Husband Ivan categorically states that you will not find him playing games on it as that is what his iPhone or iPad are for.

As for me, I plan (even at a family discount) not to buy an Apple Watch anytime too soon because I already have a ton of gadgets and enough distractions already. I just can’t justify the cost or see the use — especially as I own a drawer full of conven-tional watches and have a working iPhone.

Is there a future for the Apple watch in our home? Only “time” will tell. Pun intend-ed.


The Standard Reviewer

By Bill Elliott Up Downtown’s Film & Theatre Reviewer(EDITOR’S NOTE—Bill Elliott is a British-born Bloomington, Indiana-based free-lance writer. His film, music, and theatre reviews have appeared for over a quarter century in publications ranging from Arts Indiana, NUVO, Up Downtown and The Word to Indy Air and the Syracuse New Times. He holds a PhD in English and film studies from Indiana University.)

Even for those who are not huge fans of the Despicable Me film franchise, Universal Studio’s Minions is a thoroughly enjoyable and slyly funny prequel to the series. Critics are divided over whether the spin-off characters have the power to carry a whole film by themselves, yet for me Gru and his coterie of CGI-animated villains were never that interesting. The Minions, on the other hand, are something much more appealing.

Thanks to Despicable Me and Despicable Me 2 (a third instalment is set for a 2017 release), the Minions have already brought in tens of millions of dollars worldwide in merchandising sales, so it was only a matter of time before a film devoted entirely to them became a reality.

For those who are not familiar with Despicable Me, the Minions are cuddly, yellow, pill-shaped creatures, whose purpose it is to serve the most unpleasant villains on the planet. Exactly how such cute and seemingly harmless creatures came to be this way remains a bit of a mystery.

Even the potted “Minions Through Time” faux newsreel that opens the film doesn’t explain why they are attracted to dictators, monsters and demons. Perhaps they are so affable and compliant that they need a firm hand to guide them?

We learn that Minions have been around as long as time itself, first appearing as amoeba-like creatures that eventually evolved into the banana-coloured, fire-hydrant shaped forms that peaked their evolutionary cycle around the age of the dinosaur.

Dinosaurs, in fact, were one of the first creatures the Minions sought to serve. But, an unfortunate accident leads to the Minions accelerating the dinosaurs’ extinction. Next up in the service stakes are the Pharaohs. Minion architects are tasked with designing and building the pyramids. However, they have a problem figuring out which way is up on the blueprints, leading to another unfortunate offing of their chosen leader. Likewise with Dracula and Napoleon. As soon as the Minions find a new master to serve, they unwittingly contribute to his or its downfall.

So, the remaining Minions undertake a long trek to the North (or maybe the South) Pole where they hole up for over a century in a secluded cave, building what resembles an igloo city. Unfortunately, as time passes they become bored and crave a new master to serve.

An enterprising Minion named Kevin volunteers to travel to civilisation in search of a suitably wayward leader. He enlists the help of guitar-obsessed Stuart and teddy bear-clutching Bob, not exactly the cream of the Minion gene pool.

The intrepid trio travel by makeshift boat to New York circa 1968, where they encounter huge posters of Richard Nixon, running for president (nice touch that!). Nixon isn’t the evil leader they are looking for, however. They find out via a TV commercial that a gathering of arch-villains, the anachronistic and rather silly-sounding Villain Con, will soon be held in Orlando. So they hitch hike down to the fledgling pre-Disney World resort (literally a single wooden bait shack), meeting the nicest — and seemingly most American — of criminal families on the way.

The purpose of Villain Con is for the world’s budding villains to hook up with the world’s greatest super-villains in order to visit mayhem and madness onto the planet.

Kevin, Stuart, and Bob throw in their lot in with Scarlet Overkill, the world’s only female super-villain. She devises a test to see who is evil enough to be recruited as her henchmen and the Minions win the prize (again through no real skill of their own). So Scarlet takes the three under her wing and hatches a plot to steal the Queen of England’s crown from the Tower of London (located, we are reminded, in London).

In the Minion universe, nothing is ever as simple as it seems, and after changing hands a couple of times (thanks to a clever interlude involving Bob and Excalibur — King Arthur’s sword set in stone), Scarlet ends up in possession of the British Crown.

The second half of Minions is a rollicking roller coaster ride through British culture (i.e. the broadest stereotypes of British culture) and forms the funniest pastiche of Swinging London since Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.

Where Minions scores over the dozens of indistinguishable children-oriented computer-animated comedy films is that it is chock full of witty ideas and blink-and-you’ll-miss-them, funny-as-heck visual gags. There is a hilarious dungeon scene as Scarlet’s ultra-mod husband, Herb, tries to torture the Minions. He not only fails; he seems to have hit on a potentially new source of entertainment and fun for the little yellow critters.

Meanwhile, back at the pole, the attention-starved Minion tribe take up soccer as a way of passing the time. Cue another British stereotype: that soccer is the world’s most boring sport. The Minions literally look as though they could fall asleep while playing. When they finally escape the pole and circumnavigate the globe, they cross from Australia (where they ride kangaroos) into India, which apparently form a contiguous geographical border.

Escaping from their dungeon captivity, Kevin, Stuart and Bob, traverse London’s sewer system to stop the coronation of Scarlet in Westminster Abbey. Emerging through an exit sign that reads “Abbey Road,” the three open a manhole cover in the middle of the most famous zebra crossing in the world, just as the fab four decide to walk across it.

And, of course, there are endless cups of tea — in cafes, homes and palaces; British Bobbies even drive their police cars with one hand on the steering wheel and a cuppa in the other.

The language spoken by the Minions is mixture of Pidgin English, French, Italian, Spanish, and a few exotic languages thrown in for good measure. Mostly it is just gibberish. Yet it appears to make sense, of a sort. When it doesn’t, as when Bob is briefly crowned king for extracting Excalibur from its source, his speech is played for laughs. As his words fall on the uncomprehending ears of his subjects, he relies on a populist punch line, the clearly articulated: “Kiiiing Baahhhhhbbbb.”

The film’s soundtrack is stellar and features a Who’s Who of top Sixties British and American bands, including The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, The Rolling Stones, The Who, The Doors, The Kinks, The Turtles, The Box Tops, and Donovan (Mellow

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Yellow never sounded more appropriate). That doesn’t even take into account gibberish versions of Make ‘Em Laugh and the Theme from the Monkees, sung by the Minions themselves.

Directed by Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda, and written by Brian Lynch, Minions has enough creative energy to keep even the most CGI-averse viewers engaged. The dialogue is clever without being ostentatious and the narrative is as inventive as it is eclectic. Voiced by Geoffrey Rush (narrator), Sandra Bullock (Scarlet Overkill), Jon Hamm (Herb Overkill) and Jennifer Saunders (the Queen), with smaller roles taken on by Michael Keaton, Allison Janney, Steve Coogan and Steve Carell, Minions will appeal unconditionally to children who like their animated characters to be non-threatening and goofy and to adults who like storytelling that harks back to the good old days of Disney.

Sauntering With Mat

By Mat Robedee / Up Downtown Commentator

saun·ter, ˈsôn(t)ˈr/

Verb: walk in a slow, relaxed manner, without hurry or effort. “Mat sauntered into the bar”

Noun: a leisurely stroll. “a quiet saunter through the West End”

Synonyms: stroll, amble, wander, meander, drift, walk

Dateline: Portland, Maine. Population: 66,318+ A place where one can still get the big city feel, yet get in a car and step onto a secluded hiking trail within minutes. Unless, of course, its Summer, then likely there is construction happening at every intersection, or I-295 is backed up and you’re kind of screwed. Regardless, Portland is a place where city dwellers and those with rural hearts can find the perfect bal-ance between urban and country living.

Portland became home about five years ago. Prior to that I was living the classic “coming of age” story: a solo traveller trying to “find himself” while regularly mov-ing around the country. I never thought the journey would bring me here, but I am thankful it has. Yet it’s not just the coastal views, cobblestone streets nor endless number of restaurants that have kept me here (but I won’t lie, it hasn’t hurt any). What has kept me in this city, is the people. Individuals who are as genuine and sincere as they are salty and rough around the edges at times.

Frequently I set out on foot and just explore the various districts and off the beaten path locations within the city. I find great pleasure in discovering new shops and restaurants, as it seems a dozen or so new ones pop up each week. Other times though, I simply enjoy finding a secluded place where I can read a book, catch up on paperwork or listen to some Stevie Nicks while I repeatedly play games of Candy Crush without feeling judged by the masses.

The other day I went for a walk about around Munjoy Hill. The hill is a gem within the city, but, unfortunately one divided from the rest of the peninsula due to the

poorly planned 1970s urban renewal failure we call the Franklin Arterial. The city now has plans to rip it up and “fix” the damage they did 40-odd years ago, but hey – that’s an entirely different subject for another day. I’ll confess: I was never a fan of the Munjoy area prior to moving to the neighbourhood last Fall. I was a local who “drank the Kool-Aid” and I thought “The West End is the best end”. Looking back, I just liked how catchy that was to say. Or perhaps the thought of having to walk up a hill to get home after a night of drinking a few too many local beers turned me off. Aside from the stunning Eastern Promenade, if one were to drive around Munjoy Hill they may not get the same beautiful experience nor understand my sentiment. That’s the thing though — Munjoy is not meant to be driven. It’s a place to take in by exploring at a leisurely pace so ditch the car for a bike or, better yet, feet. Between the constant smell of an ocean breeze, hidden gardens tucked behind homes and cute tattooed hipsters sporting super tight pants and tank tops, I can’t complain.

I stopped in at the Home Grown Herb & Tea, located on Congress Street right at the foot of the hill – a personal favourite spot. If you have not been, I strongly suggest you seek it out and enjoy. Even if tea is not your thing, the overall unique and earthy vibe of this place is worth checking out. From there, after numerous twists and turns down various side streets, I eventually made my way to find an ideal spot where I could sip my tea in solitude and watch the sunset. Many people head up to Standpipe Park on North Street to watch the day come to an end. Granted, this is certainly one of the greatest views on the peninsula, but for a more private experi-ence, take a stroll down North Street and watch the sunset across from East End Community School. You will find here a gorgeous little community garden set on top of a big grassy hill. Once there, seek out one of the benches or just take a seat on the grass. This spot is one where you can beat the crowds yet still get outstanding views of the sun setting over the Back Cove. Also, if the weather is in your favour, you can get a stunning view of Mount Washington to top off the whole experience.

Enjoy the Present.Experience the Past.

Circa 1674

The Black Boar Inn Ogunquitblackboarinn.com207.646.2112

Open Year Round


The Gossip Column

By Britain & Sydney / Th e Up Downtown Offi ce Gossip Cats

Please Read

Then Recycle!

Phone: 207/536.0922 e-mail: [email protected]

Up Downown is published the last week of every month at 22 Hancock Street, Suite 403, Portland, Maine 04101. While every effort is made to ensure ac cu ra cy and fairness, the pub lish er assumes no re spon si bil i ty for errors. Liability is limited to the cost of said ad. Ads not cancelled by published deadlines will be billed at agreed-upon price. Ads may be edited or rejected for content at the discretion of the publisher. All items ap pear ing in Up Downtown, as well as the name, logos and design are copy right 2015 by BBS, A division of High Speed Delivery Fork Ltd. & Ted Fleis chak er and may not be re pro duced in any form without prior

written ap prov al.

September EditionDeadline

Wednesday 19th AugustPapers On Street:

Friday 28th August

Who are those two cool cats you see here? Well, since you asked we are Britain and Sydney, the Up Downtown Portland offi ce cats. We assist when Ted needs help (Often, if you ask us!) and we also keep our ears pointed to hear all the downtown gossip — about people, places and just “stuff.” We used to have a beat in Indiana, but we followed our litter pan and cat treat jar out to Portland this Spring and now that we are situated, we’ve been sniffi ng around to see what’s up. Look for us in ev-

ery issue and if you have any tidbits for us e-mail them from the website (www.upportland.com) and we will sniff out the facts, assuming, that is, we can get Syd to work. Ever since she dicovered the Two Fat Cats Bakery she thinks the place is named for us and has been do-ing nothing but eating cake, scones and Key Lime Pies!! So what do we have in this fi rst Portland downtown column?

Well, there’s this... At the Market House Coffee shop on the 2nd fl oor of the Public Market House on a recent weekday two guys who apparently had never met were both waiting for their orders when one noticed a tattoo sticking out of the other guy’s shirt and made a comment. The 2nd guy had both arms in “tats” and his legs were fairly well inked also. The duo stood there pointing to this or that on one another and commenting for a good 10 minutes before one looked at the other’s leg and pointed. The guy with the tat being admired said somthing, whereupon the other dude cringed visibly, said “ouch!” loud enough to be heard around the dining area and left. We don’t know what he was describing but if a veteran of the needle cringed and said ouch, we are not sure we want to! The things one sees in restaurants (and we weren’t even at Marcy’s Diner!) ...Speaking of wanting to know, we cats don’t think we want to know who was supposed to be doing the proofreading but give a look at the back of one of the Tall Ships t-shirts we bought. These were for sale all over the different venues along the waterfront dring the ships weekend. See if you can tell which boat’s name was not spelled right. Rumour has it that the ships’ owners or reps or someone in command was shown a copy to check but it appears to we pussies that the folks somewhere forgot a letter or two in the name of the Bowdoin, plus the Spanish ship lost their accent and the “Andalucia” part of their name. Oh, and while we are on the Tall Ships topic, the organisers did a really great job with an iPhone app which we cats’ owners downloaded. The names of the ships (spelled right) and all were there, but sadly what we had hoped would be one of the cool-est aspects — a live map — never did work...at least not on any phone at our house. We were excitedly watching from shore when the ships came into Casco Bay and fi gured the live map would show them in order as they passed Bug Light, but the map was (ah, er) not live, but dead all weekend. We did still like the photos of the ships and the schedule was great plus the app was free,

but we were sad about that map! ...Speaking of sad, we were sad when we got to Portland and started walking around exploring our new hometown downtown to see a really neat retail space in the fi rst fl oor of the Time & Temperature Building sitting almost totally vacant. Aside from a bank branch, an eatery and couple small shops with the lights on it’s a deserted arcade which could easily pass for a movie set in a scary fi lm because it is THAT empty. The situation has been made worse by the recent relocation of the Sock Shack to new digs with a store-front a bit further west on Congress Street. We hear tell the sock business — now that the place can be seen by passers by — has been kicked into high gear, which is great, but we are sure sad to see a lot of really grand retail space at the Time & Temperature landmark building sitting vacant. Any ideas for revitalising that would, we cats are sure, be welcomed by the building’s owners. They got the downtown’s most visible rooftop so they deserve to have something (or someone) making better use of that lovely arcade! ...Finally, speaking of making use, we had to make use of our smile when we walked past the Munjoy Hill Nighbourhood Organisa-tion’s HQ up on Congress Street and we spotted their message board out front reading “A good neighbour is one who doesn’t password protect their WiFi.” What can we cats say to that aside from a loud “AMEN!”? See ya in September!

Up Downtown Is A Proud Member of the


UrbanUniQue

By Ashley RobedeeSaturday 18th July seemed like any ordinary, overcast day in Maine. The tem-perature was cool, the rain drizzled down and patches of fog lingered. But for 24-year-old Ian Mckay, a young man who is anything but ordinary, this was a day of ambitions and dreams. The annual Peaks to Portland Swim was taking place and Ian was determined to become the first person with autism to ever complete it.

The event, held by the YMCA, is an arduous 2.4 mile ocean swim that takes place in Casco Bay - starting at Peaks Island and finishing at the East End Beach. Now in its 34th year, the race is open to anyone 16 years or older who has completed a one mile “qualifier” swim in 40 minutes or less. The Peaks to Portland is one of the YM-CA’s most well-known fundraisers and is designed to help raise funds for swimming lessons and aquatic classes in all four of their locations: Portland, Falmouth, New Gloucester and Biddeford. Although he has been swimming since he was a child, Ian really started taking it more seriously in high school and currently trains at the Y — practicing an average of five or six times per week. Throughout his training he has developed his own confidant, unique style: a crawl with his head entirely out of the water, much like a lifeguard. The fact that no one with autism had ever participated in the race did not discour-age Ian, but instead fanned the flames of his determination. Unperturbed by the weather conditions, Ian set out in the 5th wave of the day with his mother Shirley in a kayak and his father Lee in a canoe, playing the roles of both dutiful spotters and cheerleaders. Weather conditions made the swim formidable for many and the waves, while navigable, were daunting.

Shirley kept a very sharp eye on her son’s stamina, looking for languished strokes or other signs of fatigue. Because of the pull of the current “he had to keep cutting out,” Shirley told me. “The amazing thing is that he was doing exactly what we were asking him to do...”

As we sit here talking after the event, she rubs a balm into the back of his neck to ease where his wetsuit chaffed him, and proudly says, “I was continually amazed at his stride.” Ian chimes in telling me how he got pushed into a buoy - twice. He even swam by a large masted ship in town for the Tall Ships event, but that held little interest to him compared to the planes. Each time a plane would fly by, Ian would stop in the water to admire it and give an enthusiastic, “Wow!” — a similar sentiment to that he shared as he passed Fort Gorges. So in the midst of the waves and rain and fog, and an ocean current determined to derail him, he managed to get in a little sight seeing. His sense of wonder being a true a reminder to take delight in some of the everyday things we all take for granted. When he finally hit shore, Ian didn’t drag himself slowly from the water — “I ran!” he exclaimed — impressively clocking in at just under 96 minutes and placing 301st out of 344 athletes.

“I finally fulfilled my dream!” he told me proudly.

But the toughest part for Ian was not making it to shore before the donuts ran out and the massage tables were packed up. Fortunate-ly, his parents took him immedi-ately to Dunkin Donuts to help ease the sting of that untimely misfortune.

So what’s to follow for Ian Mckay? Scuba diving, apparently. Or zip lining. He also really wants to operate the Casco Bay bridge and get his passport so he can go to Canada.

Why Canada? Because, it’s part of a running joke he has with friends and family about how he “boycotts” Maine food. “Like my milk... it’s from Massachusetts! So I want to try Canada’s food. I want to go up there and get myself a Canadian milk... French milk. I really wonder what French milk tastes like”, he says, being cheeky.

He then flips gears and tells me about how Maine and Canada both used to be part of “New France”, and he cites several facts about that history that made me feel sorely outgunned.

So there you have it. Ian Mckay: superior athlete, jokester and history buff. All wrapped up around a positive attitude and a drive to live life to the fullest. Making Portland history and setting himself up as an inspiration for so many, Ian’s unlimit-ed ambitions truly make him someone to keep your eye on.

(EDITOR’S NOTE—Ashley Robedee is full-time hair stylist, part-time superhero and a person who generally loves to write. Her regular Up Downtown columns will touch upon people and happenings that are uplifting, inspiring and unique in the city. Ashley is always looking for suggestions to help share downright positive stories from downtown Portland and she can be e-mailed via the response form on our website at www.upportland.com)

Historical Or Hysterical?Voices were some-times raised and emotions strong as a neighbourhood meet-ing was held recently to discuss creating an India Street Historic District on the east end of downtown. As of presstime no final decision had been reached despite strong emotions both for and against making India Street Portland’s new-est protected area.

up portland august 2015

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