Understanding, Responding to, & Preventing Bullying

Insiders vs. OutsidersWhat is “normal”?

Who decides?

The majority (in any given situation) decides what is “normal” and “acceptable”; in other words, they are “insiders.”

Those bullied are usually “outsiders.” They’re not accepted by the majority or the “insiders.”

Bullying makes people “others.”

Bullying is most common in middle school. Why?

Bullies are more powerful than their victims.

That power difference is physical and/or intellectual and/or social.

Bullies harm their victims repeatedly.

That harm is physical and/or emotional.

Bullying: repeated attempts to hurt a less powerful victim

Hurtful + Repeated + Power Imbalance = Bullying

Bullying Basics

Overt (visible to victim): harassing physically or verbally or ostracizing the victim in his or her presence.

Covert (invisible to victim):talking behind the victim's back to disrespect, or to spread gossip or rumors

Cyber-bullying (bullying using electronic devices) can be overt and / or covert

Bullying Basics, continued

How do I know if it’s bullying?

Are there repeated harmful acts?

Is there an imbalance of power (physical, intellectual, social)between the bully and the victim?

If the answer to both of these questions is ‘yes,’ then it’s bullying.

Harmful Acts + Repeated + Power Imbalance = Bullying

Victims’ Responses to Bullying

Some victims turn their responses inwarddepression

anxiety

suicidal thoughts or actions

Other victims turn their responses outwardaggressive behavior

threatening, intimidating, or bullying others

these people are called “bully-victims”

Bullies Hurt Themselves

Bullies are at increased risk for . . .alcohol and drug abuse

academic problems

violent behavior as adults

incarceration

Bullying Involves Others

A ‘perpetrator’ is the bully or one who joins in bullying

A ‘bystander’ attempts to remain uninvolved, often by looking on silently or finding an excuse to walk away

An ‘upstander’ stands up for the victim; that is, takes action opposed to the bullying:

intervenes to stop the bullying

allies with the victim

seeks help from an adult

Introducing the Victims

Tyler Long, (Georgia), committed suicide at age 17 after being bullied his entire childhood.

Ja’Meya, age 14, (Mississippi) is a victim who gets into trouble with the law when she seeks to defend herself with a weapon.

Kelby, age 16, (Oklahoma) is bullied after coming out as gay, but she has a group of friends that support her.

Alex, age 14, (Iowa), is physically and emotionally bullied, and is worried about how his being an outsider will affect his sister.

Ty Smalley, (Oklahoma) committed suicide at age 11 after having been physically and emotionally bullied.