Two Cents for Two Chappies

CONTENTSWe are not as young as we used to be anymore. Our youth has been pulled out of us like a bad video player that has no eject button anymore. Some things in our lives that we wish were still around, some things that our children will never get to see. I’m not talking about endangered species of the world or nature, I’m talking about the types of TV programming we used to watch back when we first saw colour television. Who of us still remembers going to the bioscope to go watch a “B-grade” movie

either it was an old cow boy western or of Tarzan the jungle boy or of Elvis and the blues. Or the time we had simpler names for our pets, “ Blackie” or “ Bobby”. Life was much simpler then when it came to things to do on a Saturday afternoon, and we loved it.

Relive those times in our childhood with me and remind yourself of how some things that we don’t ever want to let go of, like our youth.

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• TheSpoilsofSequels• Espionage,Suspenseand

Paperclips

• StringsandFlops

• APixelatedAge

• AGoodrationofTelevision

• BirdsandBottleswerenever enough

• SpidermanandRabobi

• AShallowYellowtale

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8-9

10-11

12-13

14-15

16-17

18-19

20-21

The first nail biting action movie that ever came out was on VHS, you would put the videocassette in the recorder and while you were watching the screen, it would squiggle and wobble. It always happened for instance on the same scene were Jean Claude van Damme does his signature “spinning-split-flying-heel” kick. I’m reminiscing a time when tape recorders had a hard button to u¬se for rewind and fast-forward, like those are ever so important now. Every time we anticipated watching our favourite film, the recorder

would get stuck again and again. What was bothersome is that I would find myself poking the video player with a pen just trying to pull free the jammed videotape reel. When I was done cello taping the reel of film together, put the tape back inside the video player, play the movie, and find out a whole scene was now missing.

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The Spoils of Sequels

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The day we first saw a man who could walk behind enemy lines and disarm a stolen government missile, with just a paperclip. The concept of bringing to life the adventures of a secret agent armed with almost infinite scientific resourcefulness, is what inspired children from all over when MacGyver hit our screens. There was no child who didn’t believe that they could do the incredible things MacGyver could do with just ordinary everyday things. We would find ourselves at school with our blazers filled with all

sorts of things rubber bands, magnets and chewing gum.Each and every moment in the series was important to keep watching over and over, so that you could go out afterwards and re-enact those classic scenes when we played with our friends on glorious afterschool afternoons.

Espionage, Suspense and Paperclips

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If there was any a time when we have had to beg our parents for any special toy, it would have been around the era when Yoyo’s ruled the world. The only thing we ever got right¬ –was just to tie the string in the gap between the two discs onto the centrepiece – other than that, everything else just got tied up in frustration. Without the beautiful use of now-a-day online tutorials, back then we would work on trying to make cool tricks and styles just so we could look good around the peers. “Walking the dog”

and “Around the world” two of the easiest tricks to do, but the only two amateurs could master. Unnecessarily there were other tricks but it never doomed upon us to try them once we had “Walking the dog” and “Around the World” in the bag.

Strings and Flops

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I lived for high scores, bonus boosters and typing my three letters worth of an alias onto the high-score page. I was the king of Pac-man, strategic architect of Tetris and an escape artist on “Elevator-man”. Those were the days when the little Portuguese corner shop was filled with kids still in they uniform, misusing the machine to show a side of dominance. I was troubled in saving up every cent of carry money just so I could go enjoy my last fifty-cent at the arcade. I used whatever that was left of that money toward buying

a handful of Chappies just to supplement the moment when I had defeated the “last boss”. That was the pinnacle of my puberty, and it was while I was finding my grip around the red-nose shaped joystick and bashed up round buttons. Some may say I was the best “next challenger” but that was only until the shopkeeper’s power cut, trying to complete endless combinations of uppercuts.

A Pixelated Age

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This national television downtime symbol, is still latent in the back of our minds as a symbol which represented many scenarios which was either embarrassing as a kid or just as an excuse to go play in our rooms, because at that time the concept of sitting in front of the TV was laborious and required less of our attention span. There are things attached to how we recall the time when this “Test Signal” appeared on the screen.

This is all it meant for us:• Half past five wash• Bedtime for the kids• “The broccoli for supper”

bout• The homework time dread• Sing-a-long to the national

anthem moment• No Sesame street till

tomorrow timeThis was real and we quite didn’t grasp it till around the golden age of “Open-Time”.

A Good ration of Television

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I’d like to bring to your attention; one of the main reasons boys fell in love with shooting things. Some call it “the Kettie” sum call it what they want to call it. I present to you a device which made the cut in being the most dangerous weapons towards neighbours windows across the country, because the windows in the neighbourhood experienced the worst of this dangerous contraption.

Specifications: Real untreated wood Strong rubber band (preferably from bicycle tubing) Leather belting Length of wooden aim Instructions: Place stone in the belt, pull back, aim (be it your friend from down the road) and let go. Prepare an alibi if asked who broke the neighbours window.

Birds and Bottles were never enough

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I recall a time when Rabobi (Spiderman) was a household name. He was the alter ego for a character that went by the name “Pita Paka” also known as “Peter Parker”. In the nineties TVs were synonymous with radio; the show created for the English speaking audience was transmitted in simulcast on the radio in Setswana.

I remember setting up my father’s penny farthing Panasonic radio next to the television, as I turn the volume know on the TV to zero. What stuck out for me was Pita Paka’s Setswana voice-over, which till today still rings as the official voice for the superhero.

Spiderman vs Rabobi

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A certified soft drink of the 80’s but also claimed purified toxin, the stuff that makes your pee toxically yellow. Mello Yello. As a “ young chappy” growing up in the rural part of South Africa, time went by slowly and there wasn’t much we could to do to entertain ourselves back then. I found myself playing the occasional prank on the town’s belligerent fools, by abusing the bright yellowness of “Mello Yello”.

With the inviting refreshing bottle design, I would place it next to the bench at the park, sealed by knocking back the small steel cap, and to the curious bystander a surprising fill of ingredient. Bright, yellow pure urine.

A Shallow Yellow Tale

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This is for the old person stuck in an ever so changing South Africa, where your kids are over knowledgeable in being able to programme your brand new televi-sion. We were also good at a lot of things when we were young, and our kids these days will never com-prehend the stuff that’s in this book in their entire life-time because of the heritage that they have adapted within us. “We’re not as young as we use to be” but there is nothing embarrassing about that.