Traditional vs. Modern Views of Relationships

in China

Emily Pearson-Beck and Rebecca Bennett

Traditional Views

Traditional Dating Guidelines

• Bodies can’t touch.

• During the Ming dynasty single women had to wear masks so that their faces couldn’t be seen.

• Most people dated with the intention of getting married. • Parents only allowed their children to date/marry others based on their

birthday matching. • 时辰

Traditional Chinese Marriage

• Many people didn’t meet the person that they were going to marry until the day of their wedding.

• Not only were people matched based on their zodiac information, but they were matched based on their economic level. • Everyone who got married had to be at a similar economic level to their match.

• 三从四德• Obedience to father, husband, and then son.

• Four virtues of Confucian ethics:• Morality （德）• Physical Charm （容）• Propriety in Speech （言）• Efficiency in needlework （功）

Modern Views

Modern View of Dating

• Women today have the freedom to date.• Some date for fun while others continue to date only for marriage.

• Online dating has become widely used, and many parents push their children to do it. • Some schools (middle and high) forbid students from dating.

• If you break the rule in middle school then you will be talked to by teachers, and your parents will be told.

• The administration in high schools often don’t enforce the policy.

• Usually Chinese parents don’t like it when kids date in high school or college, but want them to marry very soon after. • Popular TV show called 非诚勿扰 (fei cheng wu rao)

• 相亲

Modern Chinese Marriage • Ideal marriage age

• Men: No specific age• Women: No older than 25

• In developed areas like Beijing and Shanghai women can acceptably get married in their 30s.

• The divorce rate is lower in rural areas because there are more traditional people there who frown upon divorce and treat those who get divorced poorly. • Women are still expected to do more housework than men, however it is

becoming more common for both women and men to do housework. • Women feel like there is a double standard in marriage, because they always

need to make themselves look nice while men don’t do the same. • Parents often wont allow women to marry men who don’t have a stable job or

a house. • Public officials often have multiple female partners in addition to their wives.

Birth Control

• Birth control is widely used because of the One Child Policy. • Not many high school students are sexually active. • In Modern China, birth control is used by people of many ages—

including youth. • Teenagers who become pregnant often get abortions. • Although abortions are very much frowned upon, having a child at a young

age would be even worse.• Women who have children at a young age are often unable to find jobs in their future

and are very much discriminated against. • Having sex at a young age is already very unacceptable. Becoming pregnant

can lead to horrible treatment from society.

Relationship between Birth Control and One Child Policy.

• In order to enforce the One Child Policy, the Chinese government has to educate the public about sex and birth control.

• A survey done by Renmin University in 2007 concluded that over 50% of China's population believes that premarital sex is okay.

• It is possible that the increased accessibility of contraception will allow China’s views on premarital sex to become more progressive.

Sex education

• Shown female and male anatomy in biology class. • Some schools teach students how sex works, but others don’t.• Told not to have relationships and are shown videos of the effect of

getting pregnant as a teenager. • Children are taught that things that have to do with sex should not be

discussed because of traditional values, so they often feel uncomfortable talking about it.

Views of the LGBT community

• Older generations are usually not accepting of LGBT relationships. • Gay marriage is not legal, and many people still feel unsafe coming

out. • Many LGBT youth have difficulty coming out to their parents because

many of them are unaccepting, and also very much value traditional marriage. • The younger generation of people is more accepting of the LGBT

community, but still not completely accepting of them. • Slash is becoming really popular among young people.

Interesting Observations

• Hand-holding.• Things in movies and comics don’t necessarily effect what is

acceptable in society.• Married adults are not publicly affectionate.• Sometimes offended by presence of sex in movies. • Males cater to the females.• Divorce isn’t as taboo (in cities) as originally thought.