tips for accommodating the add/adhd child

7/28/2019 Tips for Accommodating the ADD/ADHD Child

1/3

Tips for Accommodating

the ADD/ADHD Child

Many times when leaders hear that a child is ADD orADHD, panic sets in. It doesnt have to be that way. This

article will give you insights and simple tips to use with

all children, including those very active, unfocused

children and children you think are ADD/ADHD.

by Linda Ranson Jacobs

any of you have asked for help with theADD/ADHD child. I have refrained

from responding simply because there

are so many experts out there who have

their own agendas and opinions. However, I

think its time I shared with you how I have

dealt with the ADD/ADHD child.

First let me give you an opinion I have. After

working with children for over 30 years, I

believe many children are misdiagnosed. If

you look at theDiagnostic Criteria fromDSM-IV-TR (Washington, DC: American

Psychiatric Association) definition and

symptoms, you will see that many children

under stress, experiencing a crisis or

experiencing the divorce of their parents will

exhibit the very same symptoms as the

ADD/ADHD child.

There are medical conditions that mimic the

ADD/ADHD child also. From my own

experience, I have a hypothyroidismcondition. I cannot sit still and intake

information. I learned early on that my body

has to be moving in order for me to learn. I

take copious notes; I draw pictures or

scribble and doodle on scraps of paper. If I

sit still, it seems my brain goes into sleep

mode with no screen saver. People hate

sitting next to me at conferences and in

church because my legs move, my arms

move and I fidget horribly. I would be thatproblem child in DC4K.

Because the mind of an ADD/ADHD child

(or the child under tremendous stress) is

chaotic, unorganized, unreliable and many

times does not think in logical sequences or

in concrete terms, these children need

structure and boundaries to help them. One

thing to remember is, dont ever assume the

child understands or knows what the

expectations are.

If the child does something one way at

school or home and comes to you and you

have slightly modified it, it may take the

child several reminders from you of how you

expect things to be. He or she has to practice

how to act. Snack time is a good example.

You want the child to sit in the chair to eat,

but at home maybe he or she is allowed to

stand up and walk around while snacking.

Explain how you want things to be. I wouldmake it a point to do this the first few

sessions the child attends. Have some fun

with this, and make a game of the child

practicing sitting down, eating, etc. After

you know the child understands, in the future

you can use a cue such as putting your hand

on his or her shoulder or saying the childs

M


2/3

name to remind him or her of how to act.

Use any cue that will help the child be

successful.

Many of these children will do better with

pictures, icons, signs, hand signals and cuesthan the spoken word. When the child walks

in the door, take him or her aside and

rehearse or go over the session schedule. Ask

the child to help you develop some hand

signals or facial expressions so you can use

these to stimulate his or her brain as to what

comes next. For some children, give them

their own copy of the schedule. They can

fold it up and carry it around with them.

Role play works well with some of thesechildren. Example: Hey Jason, I noticed last

week that you had a little bit of a problem

focusing at different times. I can understand

because when Im under a lot of stress, the

same thing happens to me. I want to share

with you how I handle this. Lets go over to

the side of the room and pretend we are

walking through tonights schedule. When

its time to change activities, Ill find you

with my eyes and give you this signal

(thumb out like a hitchhiker). This willremind you its time to stop what you are

doing and go stand in the circle.

You can also use the same technique to cue

the child when his or her behavior is not

appropriate. I developed a particular look

with my face and eyes and just a slight nod,

kind of a half no nod, of my head to let a

child know his or her behavior was

inappropriate and needed to stop. It is

important to make eye contact when usingsigns, signals and speechless

communication.

When a child is getting out of control or

starting to cause problems, a terrific body

signal for many of these kids is simply a

shrug of your shoulders with a look on the

face that says, So you blew it! There are

no repercussions just some attention and

validation that says, Hey kid, you really

messed up. Now shake it off. Move on. Try

again. You can do it. You dont verbalize

this, just use the look as my kids used tocall it.

Short verbal phrases such as Oh well!

work well with many of these children.

Another one is the word Bummer! with a

lot of expression. Bummer conveys empathy

and sympathy but doesnt take ownership of

the childs problem. As the adult, you will

have to refrain from saying anything more

than the word Bummer! or Oh well! and

believe me, this can be very difficult. Youwill want to say, How could you do that?

Or How many times have we been over

this? and If you will just concentrate, you

wont keep making these mistakes. Or Get

in control. Calm down. You dont want to

get in the habit of giving a lot of attention to

some of these behaviors. For many of these

children, even negative attention is attention.

Some of you are just going to have to change

your mindset about these children. Keepremembering that it is impossible for them to

sit still and pay attention. Maybe you have a

child who would listen better if he or she

were not sitting with the rest of the group.

Possibly you have a child who would listen

if that child were eating a snack while others

were watching the videos. Get these kids

moving in organized fashion. Organized

movement on the outside creates organized

movement in the brain. Use those cross

lateral and cross midline movements!

You might try the touch approach. Some of

these children need personal touch to help

them calm down. When you read the Bible,

you find that Jesus touched people. There

was such healing in His touch that people

wanted to be able to just touch the hem of


3/3

His garment. For many children, a touch is

healing.

Pray for them; pray with them. Try taking

little Johnny aside and praying, Dear God,

thank you for Johnny. Help him to know thatwe love him and we want him in our DC4K

family. In Jesus name, Amen.

Some of these children dont experience

successes, so lets help them have success at

DC4K. God created every child, and God

brings the children to your specific DC4K

group. Study these children. Find their

strengths, and use their strengths to enhance

your group. Be quick to listen, slow to

speak [and act] and slow to become angry[and send them away] (James 1:19).

MMV by the author and/or Church Initiative. All

rights reserved. Reproducible only when used with aChurch Initiative ministry program.

Linda Ranson Jacobs is the DC4K creator and

developer. For more information, email

[email protected]. To discover more about DivorceCare

for Kids or to find a DC4K group near you, go

to www.dc4k.org.

tips for accommodating the add/adhd child

Documents