tiger mothers & school hours

8/21/2019 Tiger Mothers & School Hours

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TIGER MOTHERS OR ELEPHANT MOTHERS

MELBOURNE – Many years ago, my wife and I were driving somewhere with our three

young daughters in the bac, when one of them sudden!y ased" #$ou!d you rather that we

were c!ever or that we were ha%%y&'

(ommentsI was reminded of that moment !ast month when I read )my (hua*s Wall Street

Journal artic!e, #$hy (hinese Mothers )re +u%erior,' which s%ared more than ,---

comments on ws./com and over 0--,--- comments on 1aceboo/ 2he artic!e was a

%romotiona! %iece for (hua*s boo, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, which has become an

instant bestse!!er/

(omments(hua*s thesis is that, when com%ared to )mericans, (hinese chi!dren tend to be

successfu! because they have #tiger mothers,' whereas $estern mothers are %ussycats, or

worse/ (hua*s daughters, +o%hia and Louise, were never a!!owed to watch te!evision, %!ay

com%uter games, s!ee% over at a friend*s home, or be in a schoo! %!ay/ 2hey had to s%end

hours every day %racticing the %iano or vio!in/ 2hey were e3%ected to be the to% student inevery sub.ect e3ce%t gym and drama/

(omments(hinese mothers, according to (hua, be!ieve that chi!dren, once they get %ast the

todd!er stage, need to be to!d, in no uncertain terms, when they have not met the high

standards their %arents e3%ect of them/ 4(hua says that she nows 5orean, Indian, 6amaican,

Irish, and 7hanaian mothers who are #(hinese' in their a%%roach, as we!! as some ethnic8

(hinese mothers who are not/9 2heir egos shou!d be strong enough to tae it/

(ommentsBut (hua, a %rofessor at :a!e Law +choo! 4as is her husband9, !ives in a cu!ture in

which a chi!d*s se!f8esteem is considered so fragi!e that chi!dren*s s%orts teams give #Most

;a!uab!e

(omments2iger %arenting aims at getting chi!dren to mae the most of what abi!ities they

have, and so seems to !ean towards the #c!ever' side of the #c!ever or ha%%y' choice/ 2hat*sa!so the view of Betty Ming Liu, who b!ogged in res%onse to (hua*s artic!e" #


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(ommentsI agree with (hua to this e3tent" a re!uctance to te!! a chi!d what to do can go too

far/ One of my daughters, who now has chi!dren of her own, te!!s me ama?ing stories about

her friends* %arenting sty!es/ One of them !et her daughter dro% out of three different

indergartens, because she didn*t want to go to them/ )nother cou%!e be!ieves in #se!f8

directed !earning' to such an e3tent that one evening they went to bed at 00 %/m/, !eaving

their five8year8o!d watching her ninth straight hour of Barbie videos/

(omments2iger mothering might seem to be a usefu! counterba!ance to such %ermissiveness,

but both e3tremes !eave something out/ (hua*s focus is unre!enting!y on so!itary activities in

the home, with no encouragement of grou% activities, or of concern for others, either in

schoo! or in the wider community/ 2hus, she a%%ears to view schoo! %!ays as a waste of time

that cou!d be better s%ent studying or %racticing music/

(ommentsBut to tae %art in a schoo! %!ay is to contribute to a community good/ If ta!ented

chi!dren stay away, the @ua!ity of the %roduction wi!! suffer, to the detriment of the others

who tae %art 4and of the audience that wi!! watch it9/ )nd a!! chi!dren whose %arents bar

them from such activities miss the o%%ortunity to deve!o% socia! si!!s that are .ust asim%ortant and rewarding – and .ust as demanding to master – as those that mono%o!i?e

(hua*s attention/

(omments$e shou!d aim for our chi!dren to be good %eo%!e, and to !ive ethica! !ives that

manifest concern for others as we!! as for themse!ves/ 2his a%%roach to chi!d8rearing is not

unre!ated to ha%%iness" there is abundant evidence that those who are generous and ind are

more content with their !ives than those who are not/ But it is a!so an im%ortant goa! in its

own right/

(omments2igers !ead so!itary !ives, e3ce%t for mothers with their cubs/ $e, by contrast, are

socia! anima!s/ +o are e!e%hants, and e!e%hant mothers do not focus on!y on the we!!8being of

their own offs%ring/ 2ogether, they %rotect and tae care of a!! the young in their herd,

running a ind of daycarecenter/

(ommentsIf we a!! thin on!y of our own interests, we are headed for co!!ective disaster –

.ust !oo at what we are doing to our %!anet*s c!imate/ $hen it comes to raising our chi!dren,

we need fewer tigers and more e!e%hants/

No/ (hinese mothers are not su%erior/ ItAs c!ear that the author )my (hua has a new boo out

and !inbait head!ines in the $+6 wi!! he!% her se!! them/ I understand she uses the term

(hinese Mother to re%resent a certain %arenting sty!e 8 one that I am very fami!iar with

from %ersona! e3%erience/

>ereAs my tae on it/ My fami!y immigrated to the U/+/ from 2aiwan in the C-s/ My mother

was a stay at home mom raising ids and was stereoty%ica! strict/ I !ived in that househo!d

where getting a B on your re%ort card was a sign of fai!ure/ ) !ot of focus and %ressure was

%!aced on the first chi!d 8 my o!der sister 8 in the ho%es that she wou!d set an e3am%!e for the

rest of us/ In a very %ainfu! hindsight I thin you can say too much em%hasis was %!aced onmo!ding my sister into the e3am%!e my mother wanted the rest of us to fo!!ow/ I donAt b!ame

http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-http://www.project-syndicate.org/commentary/tiger-mothers-or-elephant-mothers-


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her as she did the best she cou!d to raise us in the U/+/ in the sty!e that she was raised ///in

2aiwan/

2hereAs a cu!ture c!ash you canAt over!oo here/ 2he su%erior (hinese mother in my !ife had

a strict!y resu!ts driven, merit based mindset and a heavy em%hasis on test scores,

achievements and re%ort cards being ab!e to show that her daughter was better than everyonee!se in the c!ass 88 which in turn was a ref!ection on her success as a %arent/ >owever, the

environment in which she raised us in was a different country/ One that she has honest!y

never gotten used to or fe!t comfortab!e in !iving in/ 2o her, the idea of having her chi!dren

become )mericani?ed was !ooed down u%on as fai!ure/ 2he idea of a!!owing a more

f!e3ib!e stance, a softer tone or an e3%ression of individua!ism was out of the @uestion/ 2his

dua!ity of !iving in a very (hinese househo!d and going to schoo! where our )merican

teachers taught us to be free thining and creative were constant!y at odds with each other

growing u%/

=rawing from %ersona! e3%erience, the reason why I donAt fee! this wors is because IAve seen

an outcome that )my (hua, the author fai!s to address or %erha%s has yet to e3%erience/

My big sister was what I used to .ea!ous!y ca!! every )sian %arentAs wet dream come true

4e3cuse the crassness, but it rea!!y does sum u% the resentment I used to fee! towards her9/

+he got straight )s/ +i%%ed Dth grade/ arvard ear!y admission/)n internationa! %ost with the Boston

(onsu!ting 7rou% in >ong 5ong before returning to the U/+/ for her >arvard MB)/ +i3

figure sa!ary/ Orac!e/er death summed u% in one %aragra%h be!ow/

Committed suicide a month after her wedding at the age of ! after hiding her

de"ression for # $ears%+he ran a %!astic tube from the tai!%i%e of her car into the window/ +at

there and died of carbon mono3ide %oisoning in the garage of her new home in +an

1rancisco/ >er husband found her after coming home from wor/ ) %ost8it note stuc on the

dashboard as her suicide note saying sorry and that she !oved everyone/

Mine is an e3treme e3am%!e of course/ But years since her %assing, I can te!! you that the

notion of the su%erior (hinese mother that my mom carried with her a!so died with my

sister on October FG, F--/ If you were to as my mom today if this sty!e of %arentingwored for her, sheA!! %oint to a few bo3es of re%ort cards, tro%hies, %iano boos, %hoto

a!bums and >arvard degrees and g!ad!y trade it a!! to have my sister bac/

1or every success story that has resu!ted from the (hinese mothers sty!e of %arenting, there

are cha%ters that have yet to unfo!d/ 2he author can s%ea to her e3am%!e of how itAs wored

for her but itA!! be interesting to see how !ong you can ee% that gig u% and %ass it down unti!

something gives/

)s a res%onsibi!ity to herse!f as a su%erior (hinese mother, I thin )my (hua shou!d do a

bit of research outside her comfort ?one and he!% readers understand why )sian8)merican

fema!es have one of the highest rates of suicide in the U/+/ 88 I bet many of you didnAt nowthat/ I didnAt unti! after the fact/ ItAd mae a good fo!!ow u% boo to this one sheAs current!y


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%rofiting from/

&&&

) few years ago I got u% the guts to begin sharing the story of my sister because the more I

!earned about de%ression and suicide fo!!owing her death, I found myse!f growing

increasing!y frustrated with the stigma of de%ression in our society/ I was a!so shoced to!earn that )sian8)merican fema!es had one of the highest suicide rates in the U/+/

htt%"HHwww/%acificciti?en/orgHsi///

I have %ersona!!y he!%ed F young women in the !ast few years who reached out to me as a

resu!t of sharing my story/ Both the %erfect daughters of su%erior (hinese mothers who

were shar% Ivy League grads hiding their de%ression from their fami!ies and friends/ I was

a!so ab!e to %!ay a ro!e in %reventing the suicide of a friend of mine severa! months ago

because of the awareness IAve deve!o%ed about de%ression and suicide since my sisterAs

%assing/

I want to c!arify again that my sisterAs story is an e3treme e3am%!e that hits home for me/ IAm

not trying to say that strict (hinese mother sty!e %arenting was so!e!y the cause that !ead to

her de%ression and suicide nor wi!! it resu!t in a!! ids burning out !ater on in !ife/

But I do ho%e it shows that this %arenting sty!e isnAt a %roven tem%!ate that resu!ts in a!! ids

turning into the success stories that author )my (hua gives herse!f credit for raising/

&media' "(ease note this answer is mar)ed *not for re"roduction*

+P,ATE -./' I emai!ed author )my (hua

this evening 40H9/ E3%ressed my disa%%ointment about the $+6 %iece and

%ointed to this Juora thread/ 2o my sur%rise I received a %rom%t re%!y

from her that said"

=ear Kredacted" 2han you for taing the time to write me, and IAm

so sorry about your sister/ I did not choose the tit!e of the $+6

e3cer%t, and I donAt be!ieve that there is on!y one good way of raising

chi!dren/ 2he actua! boo is more nuanced, and much of it is about

my decision to retreat from the strict (hinese immigrant

mode!/

Best of !uc to you,

)my (hua

$e!!, the editor at the $+6 who made u% the head!ine ///and her %ub!isher must be ha%%y at

a!! the bu?? and traffic this e3cer%t has gotten/ Unfortunate!y, I thin it comes at the e3%ense

of being ab!e to get across the nuance she s%eas of and definite!y doesnAt indicate that she

has since retreated from the strict (hinese immigrant mode! weAre a!! debating/ (!ear!y itAs

because weAre a!! e3%ected to buy the boo/ I get it/ >it a nerve/ =rive traffic to $+6/ Mae

http://www.pacificcitizen.org/site/details/tabid/55/selectmoduleid/373/ArticleID/490/reftab/36/Default.aspx?title=The_Growing_Rate_of_Depression%2C_Suicide_Among_Asian_American_Students_http://www.pacificcitizen.org/site/details/tabid/55/selectmoduleid/373/ArticleID/490/reftab/36/Default.aspx?title=The_Growing_Rate_of_Depression%2C_Suicide_Among_Asian_American_Students_


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her !oo evi!/


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4+urah Lu@man9

$e can reca!! not to !ong ago in our Mus!im cu!ture that a!! the grown8u%s in the community

wou!d tae the ro!e of guiders for the youth/ No chi!d dared acting u% in front of e!ders in any

gathering/ )!! the e!ders he!d enough authority that they cou!d disci%!ine the chi!d without

having to face the wrath of the %arents as is the case today/ )s a resu!t, chi!dren tend tomisbehave and disres%ect e!ders because they no !onger have fear disci%!ine from anyone

besides that %arents and that too is seen !itt!e/

afi? or >afi?a/

) >afi? wi!! get three generations forgiven and )!im wi!! get seven generations forgiven Kon

the =ay of 6udgement/ It is base!ess to thin that an )!im has no source of earning bread for

his fami!y/ 5now that one does not get more than destined by !earning u!oom of the dunyaPone wi!! get what Razzaq has written for him/

2each your chi!dren sim%!icity and do not e3%ose them to materia!ism/ 2each them the va!ue

of doing thier own wor/ +end them to co!!ege, mae them .udges, mae them doctors or any

successfu! and ha!a! career in this wor!d but mae them such that they tae on these

%rofessions as honest Mus!ims who now their re!igion/

Omair )bdu! 6abbar


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The schoo( da$ shou(d 0e e1tended

2he schoo! day shou!d be e3tended to %re%are %u%i!s for the wor%!ace, sto% them .oining

gangs and give them a haven from chaotic homes, Labour has %ro%osed/

+hadow education secretary +te%hen 2wigg wi!! use a s%eech on 2hursday to bac !ongerhours in the c!assroom as he !aunches a review of how schoo!ing can be made more re!evant

to the F0st century/

It is to be !ed by Labour M< Barry +heerman, a former chair of the (ommons education

se!ect committee, after business !eaders said a third of young %eo%!e emerged %oor!y

%re%ared/

2wigg, in a s%eech to the North of Eng!and Education (onference in Leeds, wi!! say too

many schoo!s are run !ie 0th century institutions set u% to %roduce factory worers/

2he worers down too!s when they hear the be!! ring, and are strict!y se%arated into

%roduction !ines, focused on bui!ding the constituent %arts of now!edge 8 maths, science

etc, he wi!! say/

)t the same time, students are rigid!y se%arated/ 2aught in batches, not by abi!ity or interest,

but by their own date of manufacture/

$hi!e nob!e in its origins, this 0th century form of industria! education fee!s distinct!y i!! at

ease with the demands of a modern, g!oba!ised economy, which demands co!!aboration,

innovation, entre%reneurshi%, and an a%%reciation that deve!o%ing va!ue comes not from more

efficient forms of %roduction, but more si!!ed ones/

) recent survey of em%!oyers found they considered a third of the worforce !eft schoo! at 0

%oor!y or very %oor!y %re%ared for the wor %!ace, he wi!! %oint out/

+heermanAs review wi!! tae evidence on initiatives such as e3tended hours from teachers,

%arents, businesses and universities and e3amine overseas education systems/


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Numerous studies have shown that gang activity is often most %reva!ent in the hours

immediate!y after schoo!s c!ose, and %roviding !onger schoo!8based activities may %revent

some from getting into troub!e/

2wigg wi!! a!so ca!! for money to be saved by teaching using e!ectronic readers rather than

buying %hysica! te3t boos for %u%i!s and an for im%rovement in I2 teaching which he wi!!say is too often !itt!e more than a g!orified ty%ing course/

$e need far more rigour in I(2 teaching, with higher @ua!ity training, higher standards and

continua! assessment of what %u%i!s are being taught/

2003/14: Should school hours be extended?

What they said ...

'I just think that school hours should reflect the modern reality of family structures'The Prime Minister, Mr John Howard, speaking during a doorstop interview in South Australia in January 2000

'There's a limit to kids' concentration. You cannot expect them to spend eight or ten hours aday focused around classroom activities'Mary Bluett, president o the Australian !du"ation #nion

The issue at a glanceIn June and July of this year, the Prime inister, r !o"ard, proposed that school hoursshould #e extended to provide after school care for children "hose parents are #oth in the

"orkforce.$n June %, , &(, r !o"ard addressed the )i#eral *omen's conference on "ork andfamily. Though a transcript of the address is not availa#le on the Prime inister's "e#site, r !o"ard "as reported to have said that conservative state oppositions should 'put the+unsen #urner' under )a#or state governments on school hours.r !o"ard claimed the current hours "ere 'anachronistic' and 'outdated'. !e stated, '*ehave school hours that "ere fashioned at a time "hen the over"helming norm "as oneincome- to support a family. It school hours/ is something that is "orth changing.'$n July 0, &(, "hile speaking at the opening of the &( 1ustralian )i#eral 2tudents'3ederation 3ederal 4onvention, the Prime inister stated, '*hat I've got in mind perhaps isthat, after school ends in a traditional sense, you can have a #it more supervised schoolactivities... That "ould make a contri#ution to the gro"ing pro#lem of teenage o#esity. You

could have some supervised home"ork so that the time that parents spend "ith theirchildren at night is not #edevilled #y arguments over home"ork.'5nder the proposal, high schools "ould esta#lish home"ork centres and out6of6hours careprograms "ould #e extended in primary schools.7epresentatives from some parent and teacher organisations have expressed concernsa#out the idea. 1n inter6departmental taskforce on "ork and family issues is examining the issue of schoolhours and after6school programs. It "ill make recommendations to the Prime inister.These recommendations "ill then #e discussed "ith the states and territories, "ho areresponsi#le for running schools. Though schools are the responsi#ility of the states, the8overnment is said to #e looking at providing separate funding to set up the initiatives.

Bacground2upport for after school programs has #een gro"ing steadily "ithin the 5nited 2tates for at


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least a decade. In the & 2tate of the 5nion 1ddress, President 4linton proposed thelargest6ever federal expenditure on after school programs, saying, 9)et's dou#le ourinvestments in after school and summer school programs, "hich #oost achievement andkeep people off the streets and out of trou#le.9*ithin the 5nited 2tates supporters of after school programs include child care professionals"ho #elieve young children need more supervision, educators "ho #elieve children needmore academic instruction, and politicians "ho #elieve teens need more structured afterschool activities.The 4linton administration's re:uest to fund after6school programs "as only a small part of aplan to expand the role of pu#lic schools. 3or example, the centrepiece of theadministration's after school proposal "as ;< #illion52/ for the federal &


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Thank you madam speaker.Assalamualaikum and a very goodmorning to my dear opposition team and members of the oor.Welcome I bid to all of you to our discussion of today’s motion

thattiger motherscontribute to the success of their

children.Before I go on let me rst dene our motion today.

According to the e! "#ford $ictionary of second edition% TI&'( is a large !ild cat that has yello! fur !ith black lines andlives in parts of Asia. )"T*'(% the female parent of a person oran animal. +"T(IB,TI& means giving something like moneyor help or do together !ith other people. -,++'-- means thefact that you have achieved !hat you !anted. And lastly+*I$('% plural of child that is a young boy or girl !ho is not

yet an adult.But before I laid to you of the !hole meaning of our

motion today let me made clear to you the term of TI&'()"T*'(. We all kno! !hat mother means but !hy TI&'(% !hynot I" or W*A' or bigger animals like $I"-A,(-/ Theterm of TI&'( )"T*'( comes from Amy +hua’s bestseller book% the 0Battle *ymn of the Tiger )other1 but it is actually anAsian2styled parenting !hich is more superior and able tocontribute success to the children. -o% as a !hole the denition

of our motion today means that Asian2styled parenting helps toachieve !hat is !anted or e#pected of their children. And asthe &"3'()'T !e are strongly agree !ith the motion

thattiger motherscontribute to the success of theirchildren.

As the 4rime )inister I !ill lay to you the rst argument

!ith the key phrase that thetiger mother contributing tothe success of their children by developing self esteem.)y second )inister !ill deliver our second and third argumenton the 5ey 4hrase that TI&'( )"T*'( -'TTI& ('AI-TI+'64'+TATI"- 7"( -,++'-- and TI&'( )"T*'( )"IT"(I&+"TI,"- 4("&('--. After!ard she !ill rebut on the rstargument made by the rst minister of the opposition team. )ythird minister !ill continue upholding our stand and rebut on allthe misleading arguments by the rst and second ministers of the opposition team. 7inally% my second )inister !ill once againtake the stage to strengthen our stand by giving you the replyspeech.

)embers of the oor%


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According to "mair Abdul 8abbar in his article% raising your childto be a muslim% he mentioned that 9the rst learning center fora child is the mother’s lap’. This is so true because the rstperson !e !ere ever close !ith is our mothers and they have

so much inuence on us that no matter ho! erce and ho!strict our mothers are% !e !ould al!ays listen and follo! their!ays and instructions. )other’s !ords are prayers. )other’sguidance is sacred but Tiger )others are the ones !ho shapetheir children’s success for they are the ones!ho develop thechildren’s self2esteem. That is the rst argument of the&overnment team that Tiger )others develop self2esteem.

)embers of the oor%We live in a culture that self2esteem is so fragile that our

children !ould easily lose their self2condence !hen facinghardships for instance% !hen facing failures or dealing !ithgreater achievers than themselves. But this is not happenamong children !ith tiger mothers. They !ould be accustomedto their mothers’ high e#pectations and stricter rules since theypassed the toddler stage. They have builtstrong self2esteemand even their egos of not easily giving up to the merechallenges have guided them to achieve their success. This isall thanks to the tiger mothers parenting. They are erce% strict

and very rm% and they kno! !hat they !ant. They aim atgetting children to make the most of !hat abilities they have.)eaning these parents kno! their children’ abilities and they!ould not challenge their children to do things out of theirleague. 7urthermore% they also teach their children theimportance of having aims in life and thatto be success instudies is the only !ay to become successful people in future.

Their parenting and teaching method may be harsh and sternbut it is ho! these children build their strong characters andself2esteem !hich not only guide them to!ards their successbut a lantern through out their challenging lives.Ask yourself%from !hom !ould you rather learn bitter truth about your!eaknesses% your mother or your future boss/ When do yourather kno! about your mistakes% no! or in the ne#t uncertainfuture/

)embers of the oor% :ou must be very clear no! that the main attention of the tigermothers being very ob;ective and of high e#pectation to theirchildren performance in studies mainly out of love and out of concern of their children’s future. Before I end my speech let


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me rea

tiger mothers & school hours

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