think communication r e © 2011 t isan.engleberg p … · of us,when we think of michael jackson,...

THINK COMMUNICATION© 2011

Isa N. EnglebergDianna R. Wynn

ISBN 13: 9780205766499

ISBN 10: 0205766498

S A M P L E C H A P T E RThe pages of this Sample Chapter mayhave slight variations in final published form.

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UNDERSTANDING2

n June 25, 2009, the world learned that the

man deemed one of the “greatest entertainers

of our time” had died.Thousands upon thou-

sands of shocked fans from New York to Tokyo

swarmed the Web to Tweet, Facebook, and

Google—crashing Twitter’s servers and slowing the Internet

down to a snail’s pace. Almost everyone who had ever heard

him sing, watched him dance, or seen his picture wanted to

know: Was the King of Pop really gone?

As his death had such a profound effect on so many people

across the globe, we are compelled to ask,“Who was Michael

Jackson?” According to Newsweek’s David Gates, “He was a

music legend and a legendary

oddball ... He was the king of

pop ... and he’s the last we’re

ever likely to have.”1 For many

of us, when we think of Michael

Jackson, we see an artistic ge-

nius.We see a little 5-year-old

superstar who started singing

and dancing his heart out with

his older brothers in the Jackson Five; we see the 18-time,

Grammy Award-winning solo artist he would eventually be-

come. But in the 1990s, when Jackson’s career and personal life

began its sad decline, we saw a darker, more elusive side to this

former child star. Rumors of his “sleepovers” with young chil-

dren at his Neverland ranch led to allegations of child abuse.

Who Are You? 00

Building Self-Esteem 00

The Power of Perception 00

Communicatingwith Confidence 00

> How do your characteristics,perceptions, self-concept, andlevel of confidence affect theway you communicate?

> What communicationstrategies and skills canimprove your self-esteem?

> How do your perceptionsaffect the way you select,organize, and interpret theworld around you?

> How do you become a moreconfident communicator?

YOUR SELF

O

Think About... and Ask Yourself...

For all communicationbegins with you. Whoyou are and how youthink determines howyou interact with othersand how others interactwith you.

26 CHAPTER 2 | understanding your self

Vitiligo, an autoimmune disease that de-

stroys the skin coloring pigment known

as melanin, turned his skin from brown to

white.2 Quite literally, Jackson was chang-

ing before our eyes: his naturally curly

hair became straighter; his nose became

sharper and more synthetic-looking.

Eventually, his physical and emotional is-

sues would lead to prescription drug de-

pendence.And yet,“whatever his life felt

like from inside, from outside it was man-

ifestly a work of genius, whether you

want to call it a triumph or a freak

show.”3

When trying to answer the question,

“Who was Michael Jackson?”, British

blogger hysperia writes that he was “a

man who couldn’t be known and who,

most likely, could not know himself ...

who was Michael Jackson? We can

never answer that question, finally,

about anyone.”4 In the end, however,

while reflecting upon Michael Jackson

and his life, we are able to recognize

the importance of self. For all communi-

cation begins with you. Who you are

and how you think determines how you

interact with others and how others in-

teract with you.

our self-concept representsthe sum total of beliefs youhave about yourself. It an-

swers two simple questions: “Whoare you?” and “What makes youyou?” Not only are you defined bycharacteristics such as your age, na-tionality, race, religion, and gender(as in “I am a 30-year-old, African-American, Catholic female”), yourlife experiences, attitudes, and per-sonality traits influence your opin-ion of your self.

Your self-concept changes as youchange; you are always becoming. Aphysically awkward child may even-tually grow into a confident andgraceful dancer. A college studentwith poor grammar may eventuallybecome a celebrated author. An“ugly duckling” teenager may even-tually mature into a beautiful“swan.”

Sources of Self-ConceptWhere does your self-concept comefrom? You certainly aren’t born withone. Infants only begin to recognizethemselves in a mirror between 18and 24 months of age. Only then dothey begin to express the concept of“me.”5 Although many factors influ-ence how you develop a self-concept,the following are the most signifi-cant four: self-awareness, the influ-ence of others, past experiences, andcultural perspectives.

Self-Awareness Self-awareness isan understanding of your core iden-tity.6 It requires a realistic assess-ment of your traits, thoughts, andfeelings. In his best-selling book,Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Gole-man identifies self-awareness as thefirst and most fundamental emo-tional competency: the keystone ofemotional intelligence.7 He writes,“the ability to monitor feelings from

moment to moment is crucial topsychological insight and self-understanding. An inability to no-tice our true feelings leaves us attheir mercy. People with greater cer-tainty about their feelings are betterpilots of their lives, having a surersense of how they really feel aboutpersonal decisions from whom tomarry to what job to take.”8

Awareness of your thoughts and feelings is referred to as self-monitoring.

Effective self-monitoring helpsyou realize, “This is anger I’m feel-ing.” It gives you the opportunity tomodify or control anger, rather thanallowing it to hijack your mind andbody. Self-monitoring also helps youdifferentiate emotional responses:love versus lust, disappointment ver-sus depression, anxiety versus excite-ment. By becoming aware of yourthoughts and feelings, you can avoidmistaking lust for everlasting love,avoid letting minor problems triggerdepression, and avoid mistaking fear

“People withgreater certainty about theirfeelings are betterpilots of their lives,having a surersense of how theyreally feel aboutpersonal decisionsfrom whom tomarry to what jobto take.” –Daniel Goleman

ywho ARE YOU?

Self-concept The relatively stablesum total of beliefs you have aboutyourselfSelf-awareness An understandingof your core identity that requires arealistic assessment of your traits,thoughts, and feelings, as well aswhether you respond appropriatelyto othersSelf-monitoring A sensitivity toyour own behavior and others’reactions as well as the ability tomodify how you present yourself

who are you? 27

powerful determinant of your self-concept. Such influences includesignificant others, the groups towhich you belong, the roles you as-sume, and the rewards you receivefrom others.

Past Experiences Without past ex-periences and personal memories,you would have little basis for a co-herent self-concept. For example,vivid memories of traumatic events—the death of a loved one, the Septem-ber 11 attacks, a serious automobileaccident, life-threatening combat—can affect how you interpret and re-

act to current events and per-sonal circumstances. Whowould you be if you couldnot remember your parentsor childhood playmates, yoursuccesses and failures, theplaces you lived, the schoolsyou attended, the books youread, and the teams youplayed for?10

It is not surprising that you(and everyone else) have atendency to distort memo-ries. You tend to rememberthe past as if it were a dramain which you were the lead-ing player.11 When askedabout high school, manypeople describe it as “terri-ble” or “wonderful,” whenthey really mean it seemedterrible or wonderful to them.When we tell stories aboutthe past, we put ourselves atthe center of action ratherthan as bit players or ob-servers.

Cultural Background Cul-ture plays a significant role indetermining who you areand how you understandyour self. Intercultural com-munication scholar Min-SunKim explains that cultureshave “different ways of be-ing, and different ways ofknowing, feeling, and act-ing.”12 For example, West-ern cultures emphasize thevalue of independence andself-sufficiency, whereas EastAsian cultures emphasize thevalue of group memberships.for anger. People who are high self-

monitors constantly watch other peo-ple, what they do, and how they re-spond to the behavior of others.They are also self-aware, like to“look good,” and usually adapt wellto differing social situations. On theother hand, low self-monitors are of-ten oblivious to how others see themand may “march to their own, differ-ent drum.”9

The Influence of Others Althoughself-awareness may be the keystoneof emotional intelligence, the in-fluence of other people is a more

THE INFLUENCE OF OTHERSSignificant others are people whose opinions you value,such as family members, friends, co-workers, and mentors.What do such people tell you about yourself? Equally impor-tant, how do they act around you?

Reference groups are groups with whom you identify andenjoy.Think about a high school clique to which you may havebelonged (popular, smart, artistic, geeky, athletic). How did thatmembership affect your self-concept and interaction with oth-ers? How do your current group memberships (work team,church group, civic association, professional organization,social or campus club) affect the way you see yourself?

Roles are adopted patterns of behaviors associated with anexpected function in a specific context or relationship.Thus,your behavior often changes when you shift to a different role.For example, how does your public role (teacher, mechanic,nurse, manager, clerk, artist, lawyer, police officer) affect yourview of yourself? How do your private roles (child, parent,spouse, lover, best friend) shape your self-concept?

Rewards are recognitions received at school, on the job, orin a community for good work (academic honor, employee-of-the-month award, job promotion, community service prize).Praise and words of encouragement from others affect yourself-concept. Consider how you might you feel about yourselfif you never received positive feedback.

Significant others Individualswho influence your self-conceptbecause you value their opinions,such as family, friends, co-workers,mentorsReference groups Groups thatinfluence your self-concept becauseyou identify with and feel a part of themRole A set of behaviors that aredetermined by a particular type ofcontext or relationship


Who would you be if you

could not remember your

parents or childhood

playmates, your

successes and failures,

the places you lived, the

schools you attended, the

books you read, and the

teams you played for?

The “self” generally is not perceivedoutside its relationship to the“other.” Chapter 3, UnderstandingOthers, focuses on how the charac-teristics and cultures of others affecthow we communicate.

Assess Your SelfSelf-appraisals are evaluations ofyour self-concept in terms of yourabilities, attitudes, and behaviors.“Of all the judgments we pass inlife, none is as important as the oneswe pass on ourselves.”13

“I’m not popular” or “I’m an ex-cellent basketball player” are exam-ples of self-appraisals. It is not sur-prising that when your appraisalsare positive, you are more likely tosucceed. Positive beliefs about your

Self-appraisals Evaluations of yourself-concept in terms of yourabilities, attitude, and behavior

Self-Concept Continuum RATE YOURSELF

Attractive Unattractive

Respected Not respected

Successful Unsuccessful

Confident Anxious

Good Bad

Intelligent Unintelligent

Humorous Humorless

abilities can make you more persua-sive when asking for a promotion orwhen dealing with rejection. At thesame time, your mind may try toprotect you from potentially hurtfulor threatening feedback from oth-ers. These ego-defense mechanismscan mislead you into forming a dis-torted self-image:14 “What’s the bigdeal about being late to a meeting?She’s just obsessed with time andtook it out on me. It’s no big deal.”

Understandably, examining andunderstanding your self-concept isdifficult because we tend to viewourselves favorably—often more fa-vorably than we deserve. In hisbook The Varnished Truth: Truth

Creating Our Selves Online

Researchers disagree on whether on-line communication harms or promotesthe development of a self-concept.Some suggest that the limitless numberof cyberspace communities with con-stantly changing contexts, significantothers, and reference groups make itdifficult for anyone to develop a stableself-identity.18 Others argue that virtualcommunities provide opportunities toexperiment with identities. For exam-ple, shy teenagers may feel more confi-dent and comfortable communicatingonline than in face-to-face interactions.As they “try on” different selves online,positive feedback from virtual otherscan help them develop a stronger self-concept and a healthier self-esteem.19

The “evolution” of avatars hasmoved the notion of online identitiesinto a new dimension. First appearing invideo games during the 1990s, avatarshave now been adopted by online com-municators. An avatar is a user-createdtwo- or three-dimensional human beingwho represents your self online.Avatars range from fantastical andbizarre to quite reasonable likenessesof the user. Second Life is just one ex-ample of a virtual world in whichavatars live, behave, and socialize.In Second Life, you can create and customize your own digital, three-dimensional body, adding unique cloth-ing, hair, and fashion accessories foundin resident-owned shops. Hundreds ofuniversities, school systems, and busi-ness around the world use Second Life

for group-based instruction and con-ducting meetings.20

Unfortunately, the absence of real,face-to-face interactions makes it easierto distort aspects of your self, as well asto fabricate a false identity. Many peoplehave been betrayed or seriously hurt bysuch deceptions—as in the tragic caseof Megan Meier, who committed suicideafter falling victim to the cruel tormentof and rejection by a boy named JoshEvans, someone she’d met on MySpace.It turned out that Josh was actually afictitious character created by LoriDrew, the mother of a former friend ofMegan’s. Drew, who created this false

identity as a way of humiliating and pun-ishing Megan for supposedly spreadingrumors about Drew’s daughter, was indicted on misdemeanor charges inNovember 2008, prompting a publicoutcry for legislation to prohibit ha-rassment over the Internet. In July2009, a federal judge threw out Drew’sconviction and acquitted her of allcharges.21

communicationACTIONin

Avatar A two- or three-dimensional human figure youcreate and use to represent yourselfonline

To minimize this kind of self-de-ception, you should enlist twoforms of self-appraisals—actual per-formance and social comparison.

Actual Performance Your actualperformance or behavior is the mostinfluential source of self-appraisals.17

If you repeatedly succeed at some-thing, you are likely to evaluate yourperformance in that area positively.For example, if you were an “A” stu-dent in high school, you probably

“Of all the judgments wepass in life, none is asimportant as the ones wepass on ourselves.”

–Nathaniel Branden

Telling and Deceiving inOrdinary Life, David Ny-berg writes: “Human self-deception is one of themost impressive softwareprograms ever devised.”15

Most of us seem to be“wired” to fool ourselvesabout ourselves, often de-ceiving ourselves aboutthings we want to be true(but aren’t).16

What would or does your avatar look like?


or less capable than your classmates.On the other hand, if everyone doespoorly on the test, comparing your-self with your classmates may makeyou feel better about yourself be-cause it means you did just as well aseveryone else. We also compareourselves with others in terms of ap-pearance and physical ability. Whenpeople compare themselves withfashion models, alluring movie stars,and professional athletes, however,they have chosen an almost impossi-ble ideal.

Social comparison The processof evaluating yourself in relation to the others in your referencegroups

How We Make Ourselves

ow that you know somethingabout your self-concept, howdo you feel about yourself?

Are you satisfied, discouraged, de-lighted, optimistic, surprised, ortroubled? Self-esteem representsyour judgments about your self.

Nathaniel Branden puts it this way:“Self-esteem is the reputation we ac-quire with ourselves.”24 Not surpris-ingly, your personal beliefs, behavior,and performance influence yourlevel of self-esteem.

Self-esteem Your positive andnegative judgments about your self-concept

nbuilding SELF-ESTEEM

expect to be a good student incollege. Thus, you may bedisappointed or distressed ifyou receive a low grade and,as a result, doubt your acade-mic and intellectual abilities.

Social Comparison Accord-ing to social psychologistLeon Festinger, social com-parison is the process ofevaluating yourself in relationto the others in your refer-ence groups.23 The notion of“keeping up with the Jone-ses” is an example of our needto compare favorably withothers. If you are the onlyone in the class who receivesa failing grade on a test, youmay conclude that you areless intelligent, less prepared, Fashion models are a poor choice for social comparison.

attribute successes to our own abili-ties and blame our failures on exter-nal factors.

view evidence depicting usunfavorably as flawed.

forget negative feedback and remem-ber positive feedback.

compare ourselves to others who willmake us look good.

overestimate how many people shareour opinions and underestimate howmany people share our abilities.

believe our good traits are unusualwhile our faults are common.22

Look Good

IN ORDER TOMAINTAIN A POSITIVESELF-CONCEPT, WETEND TO

In one study, researchers admin-istered a math test to differentgroups of women. Before taking thetest, one group of women was toldthat that men and women do mathequally well. Another group wastold that there is a genetic differ-ence in math ability that explainswhy women are not as good at mathas men. The women in the firstgroup got nearly twice as manyright answers as those in the secondgroup. The researchers concludedthat people tend to accept geneticexplanations as powerful and per-manent, which can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies.

In her commencement address atMount Holyoke College in 2009,the President of Ireland, MaryMcAleese, said: “When I was in my

building self-esteem 31

YOUR BELIEFSBeliefs about your self: “I am compe-tent/incompetent.”

Beliefs about your emotions: “I amhappy/sad.”

YOUR BEHAVIORPositive behavior: “I am assertive andask for what I want because I’veearned it.”

Negative behavior: “I’ll begin somejuicy rumors that Gregory’s been cut-ting out of work early.”

YOUR PERFORMANCESkills: “I am a good writer and feelproud of that.”

Character: “I am a good person andenjoy helping others.”

FACTORS THAT AFFECTYOUR SELF-ESTEEM

Studies consistently find thatpeople with high self-esteem aresignificantly happier than peoplewith low self-esteem. They are alsoless likely to be depressed. One es-pecially compelling study surveyedmore than 13,000 college students.High self-esteem emerged as thestrongest factor in overall lifesatisfaction.25

If your self-esteem isn’t very high,you can take steps to improve it, suchas through self-monitoring and learn-ing new ways of communicating withothers. There are several specificstrategies you can try as well. Keep inmind that engaging in these practicesrequires persistence and effort.

Beware of Self-FulfillingPropheciesA prophecy is a prediction. A self-fulfilling prophecy is “an impres-sion formation process in which aninitial impression elicits behavior ...that conforms to the impression.”26

More simply, it is a prediction youmake that you cause to happen or be-come true. For example, if younggirls are told that boys do better inmathematics, they may believe it andstop trying to succeed. As a result,they won’t do as well in math as boys,just as predicted.

mid-teens, I announced at homethat I had decided to become alawyer. The first words I heard inresponse were, ‘You can’t becauseyou are a woman.’”27 PresidentMcAleese did not let these wordsand her parents’ beliefs become aself-fulfilling prophecy.

High self-esteem will not solve allyour personal problems, nor will itautomatically improve your abilityto communicate effectively and eth-ically. Educators have learned thislesson, much to the detriment of

Self-fulfilling prophecy Animpression formation process inwhich an initial impression elicitsbehavior that conforms to theimpression

Know Thy SelfAssess Your Self-EsteemThe statements below describe different ways of thinking about yourself.Read them carefully and choose the phrase that indicates how much youagree with each statement.28

strongly disagree (SD) disagree (D) agree (A) strongly agree (SA)

_____ 1. I feel that I’m a person of worth, at least on an equal planewith others.

_____ 2. On the whole, I am satisfied with myself.

_____ 3. I wish I could have more respect for myself.

_____ 4. I certainly feel useless at times.

_____ 5. At times I think I am no good at all.

_____ 6. I feel that I have a number of good qualities.

_____ 7. All in all, I am inclined to feel that I am a failure.

_____ 8. I am able to do things as well as most other people.

_____ 9. I feel that I do not have much to be proud of.

_____ 10. I take a positive attitude toward myself.

Scoring: Score items 1, 2, 6, 8, and 10 in a positive direction (i.e.,strongly agree = 4, agree = 3, and so on) and items 3, 4, 5, 7, and 9 in anegative direction (i.e., strongly agree = 1, agree = 2, and so forth).Thehighest possible score is 40 points; the lowest possible score is 10points. Higher scores indicate higher self-esteem. Please note that thereare no good or bad scores; rather, the scale measures how you perceiveyour level of self-esteem.


students. For example, some well-meaning school systems have triedto raise the self-esteem of disadvan-taged and failing students by pass-ing them to the next grade. Unfor-tunately, such efforts have had nopositive effects and demonstratedthat inflating self-esteem by itselfcould actually decrease grades.30

Self-acceptance A willingness toacknowledge your thoughts, feelings,and behavior, but not as an excusefor inappropriate behaviorSelf-responsibility Beingaccountable for your own happinessand fulfillment of goals withouttrying to control everything andeveryonePersonal integrity The practiceof behaving in ways that areconsistent with your values andbeliefs while also understanding andrespecting othersSelf-talk The silent statements youmake to yourself about yourself

Researchers once assumed thatpeople acted violently toward othersbecause they suffered from low self-esteem; rather, the opposite seemsto be true. Violent people often actthe way they do because they sufferfrom high, but unrealistic, self-esteem. Violent criminals often de-scribe themselves as superior to oth-ers. Even playground bullies regardthemselves as superior to other chil-dren. Low self-esteem is foundamong the victims of bullies, but notamong bullies themselves. In fact,most violent groups generally havebelief systems that emphasize theirsuperiority over others.31 Someonewith an overinflated sense of self-esteem may be a braggart, bully, ortyrant rather than a person with ahealthy self-concept. Someone withlower self-esteem but a secure andconfident sense of self can be amodel of humility and goodness.

Practice self-acceptanceRecognize, accept, and “own” your thoughts,feelings, and behavior. You don’t have tolike your actions, but be willing to acceptthem as part of who you are. No one isperfect.

Practice self-responsibilitySelf-responsibility means takingresponsibility for your own happiness and for achieving your goals. If you assumeresponsibility for what you do, you are morelikely to be happy and satisfied.

Practice assertivenessStand up for yourself in appropriate ways tosatisfy your needs and pursue your goals.Don’t become obsessed with getting approvalfrom others.

Practice personal integrityPersonal integrity means behaving inways that are consistent with your values andbeliefs. Do more than think about what youshould do and actually do “the right thing.”

Practice positive self-talkSelf-talk represents the silent statementsyou make to yourself about yourself. Replacenegative, self-defeating statements with morepositive and productive statements.

But not as an excuseSelf-acceptance is not an excuse for badbehavior. If a boss shouts at employees andjustifies it by saying, “I’m a very emotionalman. If you can’t take it, quit,” he has takenthe concept of self-acceptance to extremes.

But don’t try to control everythingResist the urge to control everything so youdon’t end up feeling overburdened, frustrated,and angry with others. Ask for and accepthelp when you need it.

But respect the needs of othersBe assertive, not aggressive, when you pursueyour goals. Don’t stand in the way of otherswhen you stand up for yourself.

But understand and respect others“The right thing” for you may not be “theright thing” for someone else. Make sure youractions do not offend or hurt others.

But listen to others, tooListening to yourself should never substitutefor or prevent you from listening to others.

STRATEGY EXCEPTION

Mary McAleese, president ofIreland, did not let her parents’beliefs about the role of womendeter her from achieving herpersonal and career goals.

STRATEGIES TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM29

Avoid the Self-FulfillingProphecy TrapTo minimize the chances of falling

into the self-fulfilling prophecy trap,

ask yourself the following questions:

• What prediction am I making

about the behavior of others?

• Why am I making this prediction?

Is it justified?

• Am I doing anything to elicit the

predicted response?

• What other behaviors could help

avoid fulfilling my prophecy?

the power of perception 33

STOP &T H I N K

Practice Positive Self-Talk

The first column in the following table provides examples of negative self-talk. In the second column, create a posi-tive statement as a replacement. In the last two rows, provide examples of your own negative self-talk and then sub-stitute a more positive statement for each of your examples.

– +Negative Self-Talk

Example: I won’t be able to work as quickly as the othergroup members.

Other statement: _____________________________

____________________________________________

Other statement: _____________________________

____________________________________________

Positive Self-Talk

Example: I’ll do my best and ask for help if I need it.

Other statement: _____________________________

____________________________________________

Other statement: _____________________________

____________________________________________

happened here? You both attendedthe same meeting, but each of youperceived the experience quite dif-ferently.

From a communication point ofview, we define perception as theprocess through which you select,organize, and interpret sensory stim-uli in the world around you. The ac-curacy of your perceptions deter-mines how well you interpret andevaluate experiences and the peopleyou encounter. At the same time,once you reach a conclusion, it’s of-

ten difficult to changeyour perception.

Generally, we trustour perceptions and treatthem as accurate and re-liable. We say thingssuch as, “Seeing is be-lieving,” “I call it as I see

it,” or “I saw it with my own eyes.”However, as Figure 2.1 shows, wecan’t always rely on what we see. Po-lice officers know very well thatthree witnesses to a traffic accidentmay provide three different descrip-tions of the cars involved, the esti-mated speed they were traveling,and the physical characteristics ofthe drivers. In fact, eyewitness testi-

hy does one person experi-ence great satisfaction in ajob whereas another per-

son in the same job dreads it? Whydo you find a speech inspiringwhereas another person finds it of-fensive? The answer to these ques-tions lies in one word: perception.Imagine that you and a colleagueare chatting after a meeting. Yousay, “That was a good session. Wegot through all the issues and endedearly.” Your friend responds with“Are you kidding? Didn’t you no-tice that Lynn rushed us throughthe agenda to avoid any serious dis-cussion or disagreement?” What

wthe power of

PERCEPTION

Perception The process we use toselect, organize, and interpretsensory stimuli

Here, the high-self esteemed playground bully demonstrates his sense of superiority over Calvin, the victimwith low self esteem.


Figure 2.2 Reversible Images

Do you see a vase or two peoplefacing each other in the figure?

Depending on which elements of thefigure you select, you will perceive

different images.

mony, although persuasive, is oftenone of the least reliable forms ofcourtroom evidence.

Even though you run the risk ofdrawing incorrect conclusions, youwould be lost in a confusing worldwithout your perceptions. Not onlydoes perception help you makesense out of other people’s behavior,it helps you decide what you will sayor do. Suppose you notice that yourboss keeps track of employees whoarrive late and leave early, and thatshe rarely grants these employeesthe special privileges given to thosewho put in full workdays. Theseperceptions tell you that it is a goodidea to arrive early and stay late ifyou want a positive evaluation or afuture promotion.

There are three components toperception: selection, organization,and interpretation.

SelectionYou use your senses (sight, sound,taste, smell, and touch) to noticeand choose from the many stimuliaround you. Your needs, wants, in-terests, moods, and memorieslargely determine which stimuli youwill select. For example, when youreyes and ears detect something fa-

miliar or potentially interesting asyou flip through television chan-nels, you stop. Or you may be day-dreaming in class, but when yourprofessor says, “The followingchapters will be covered on the nexttest,” you find yourself paying fullattention again.

The optical illusion in Figure 2.2illustrates the figure–ground prin-ciple of perception: we focus oncertain features (the figure) while de-emphasizing less relevant back-ground stimuli (the ground).32 Thus,while walking down the street, ifyou notice someone standingagainst a building, that’s what youwould see first: a person standingagainst a building, not a buildingwith a person-shaped hole in it.33 Incommunication, you see your friendsmile and hear her tell you every-thing is okay. However, you focusyour attention on her red andswollen eyes, suspect she has beencrying, and conclude that she is up-set. Her smile and verbal assurancesare relegated to the background.Ultimately, what you select to focuson will affect how you organize andinterpret the events around you andhow well you communicate in thosesituations.

OrganizationSuppose you see a middle-agedwoman wearing a suit walkingacross campus. You conclude she isa professor. You also observe ayoung man entering a classroomwearing a school sweatshirt and car-rying a backpack that appears to beloaded with textbooks. You assumehe is a student. You took the infor-mation, or stimuli, you observedand categorized it into “professor”and “student.” What these two sce-narios demonstrate is how contextinfluences the way you organize in-formation. For example, you couldconclude that a woman in a suit oncampus is a professor, but in a dif-ferent context, you might concludethat she is a business executive. Youmay conclude that a young manwearing a school sweatshirt and car-rying books on campus is a student,but backstage in a theater, you maydecide that he is an actor or stage-hand.

Figure–ground principle Aperception principle that explainswhy we focus on certain features—the figure—while deemphasizing lessrelevant stimuli—the ground

Is this woman a college student? aninstructor? a store clerk? an

attorney? a business executive?

Figure 2.1 Old Woman or YoungWoman?

What you see depends on how youreyes selected graphic details, how

you organized that information, andhow you interpreted the results.

the power of perception 35

WEST IS WEST AND EAST IS EASTThe mental process of perception is the same across cultures.Everyone selects, organizes, and interprets stimuli. However,your culture influences what you notice, how you organizethat information, and how you interpret information and situ-ations. Psychologist Richard Nisbett argues that each culturecan “literally experience the world in very different ways.”34

Look, for example, at the three objects depicted on your right.Which two objects would you pair together?

People from Western cultures are more likely to put thechicken and cow together because they are both animals. EastAsians, however, are more likely to pair the cow and the grassbecause cows eat grass. According to Nesbitt, East Asians per-ceive the world in terms of relationships whereas Westernersare inclined to see objects that can be grouped into categories.As Chapter 3, Understanding Others, explains, many cultures—and East Asian cultures in particular—are more sensitive to the

context in which communication takes place. As RudyardKipling wrote in The Ballad of East and West, “Oh, East is East,and West is West, and never the twain shall meet.”

communication&culture

You sort and arrange the sensorystimuli you select into useful cate-gories based on your knowledge andpast experiences with similar stim-uli. Four principles influence howyou organize or categorize informa-tion: the proximity principle, thesimilarity principle, the closureprinciple, and the simplicity prin-ciple.35

The Proximity Principle Thecloser objects, events, or people areto one another, the more likely youwill perceive them as belonging to-gether.36 You go to a restaurant toeat lunch alone, and another personwhom you do not know gets in linebehind you. The host asks, “Two forlunch?” When you don’t want to beperceived as associated with an indi-vidual, you may move away fromthat person to create greater physi-cal distance.

The Similarity Principle Similar ele-ments or people are more likely to beperceived as part of a group. Whentwo individuals share one character-istic or trait, you may conclude thatthey also have other things in com-mon. For example, you meet a per-

acquaintance may dislike countrymusic but love jazz.

The Closure Principle We often fillin missing elements to form a morecomplete impression of an object,person, or event. Look, for exam-ple, at Figure 2.3.

Figure 2.3 How Many TrianglesDo You See?

Some people see as many as 11triangles in this drawing. However,given that a triangle is a figure with

three attached sides, there are notriangles. If you saw triangles, you

mentally filled in or “closed” theimage’s elements.

Proximity principle Aperception principle that explainswhy the closer items or people areto one another, the more they areperceived as belonging togetherSimilarity principle A perceptionprinciple that explains why similaritems or people are more likely tobe perceived as a groupClosure principle A perceptionprinciple that explains why we oftenfill in missing elements in order toform a more complete impressionof an object, person, or eventSimplicity principle Aperception principle that explainswhy we tend to organizeinformation in a way that providesthe simplest interpretation ofobjects, people, or experiences

son from Texas and assume that sheenjoys country music because otherTexans you know listen to that kindof music. Unfortunately, the similar-ity principle can lead to stereotypingand inaccurate conclusions. Your new

These same factors mayalso lead to inaccurate per-ceptions. For example, sup-pose your best friend’s ex-husband is hired to work inyour department. You be-lieve that he treats yourfriend badly and now youwill have to endure his in-considerate attitude andcarelessness at work. How-ever, everyone else—super-visors, co-workers, and cus-tomers—seem pleased withhim. Clearly, your previousexperience may create an un-fair or erroneous perceptionof his work.

Perception CheckingPsychologists Richard Blockand Harold Yuker point outthat “perception often is a

poor representation of reality. Yet itis important to recognize that a per-son’s behavior is controlled less bywhat is actually true, than what theperson believes is true. Perceptionsmay be more important than realityin determining behavior!”39


The Simplicity Principle We tendto organize information in a way thatprovides the simplest interpretation.For example, on a cloudy day, youlook out the window and see that thesidewalk is wet, and think that it musthave rained. This is a reasonable andsimple conclusion. However, theremay be other explanations for thewet sidewalk, like automatic sprin-klers or a leak in a water pipe, butyou chose the simplest one first.

InterpretationA number of factors influence yourinterpretation of experiences. Sup-pose a friend asks you to volunteeryour time over the weekend to helpbuild a house for Habitat for Hu-manity. The following factors mayaffect your interpretation and reac-tion to your friend’s request:

• Past experiences. After volunteeringat a soup kitchen last year, you feltreally good about yourself.

• Knowledge. You spent a summerworking as a house painter andbelieve that you have somethinguseful to contribute.

• Expectations. It sounds like fun,and you might meet some inter-esting people.

• Attitudes. You believe that vol-unteering in the community isimportant.

ethicalcommunicationThe GoldenRule Does NotAlways ApplyThe Golden Rule, “Do to otherswhat you would have them do toyou,” comes from the New Testa-ment (Matthew 7:12).37 However,what you would do is not neces-sarily what another person wantsyou to do. In his Maxims for Revo-lutionists, playwright GeorgeBernard Shaw wrote,“The golden

rule is that there are no goldenrules. ... Do not do unto others asyou would that they should dounto you.Their tastes may not bethe same.”38 Thus, if you wish tofollow the Golden Rule, considerthese two cautions:• Consider how another person

may perceive the situation dif-ferently than you do.

• Look for solutions that wouldbe appropriate and fair fromsomeone else’s point of view orculture.

In what ways does this photo illustrate how select and organize stimuli to reachconclusions about their meaning?

• Relational involvement. Thisis really important to yourfriend.

communicating confidence 37

You can improve theaccuracy of your per-ceptions by pausing tocheck the basis for yourconclusions. Perceptionchecking involves notic-ing and analyzing howyou select, organize, andinterpret sensory stimuli,whether you consider al-ternative interpretations,and whether you try toverify your perceptionswith others.40

Perception checkingA method for testingthe accuracy ofperceptualinterpretations

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How do factors such as personal biases, your level of self-awareness,past experiences, your cultural background, or the influence of othersaffect your perceptions?

Do you perceive a situation the same way others do? If not, how can youadapt to their perceptions?

How does the way you select, organize, interpret information, and reachconclusions affect your reasons for communicating?

How does the psychosocial, logistical, and interactional communicationcontext affect your perceptions and the perceptions of others?

How do your perceptions affect the content you choose for a message?

How do your perceptions affect the way you organize ideas andinformation in a message? Could others interpret your meaning differentlybased on the way you organize the content?

How do your perceptions affect the way you express your message andchoose communication channels?

Communication apprehensionAn individual’s level of fear oranxiety associated with either realor anticipated communication withanother person or persons

fright, and communication apprehension.Communication apprehension is“an individual’s level of fear or anxietyassociated with either real or antici-pated communication with another

our self-concept and level ofself-confidence directly affecthow successfully you com-municate.41 Most of us see

ourselves as bright and hardwork-ing. At the same time, all of us haveoccasional doubts and insecurities. Ifyou lack confidence, you are lesslikely to share what you know orvoice your opinions. But when youfeel good about yourself, you canengage in a conversation with ease,defend your ideas in a group, andgive successful presentations.

Most people experience some anx-iety when they are in an importantcommunication situation. In fact,that “keyed-up” feeling is a positiveand normal reaction, and demon-strates that you care about what youhave to say.

CommunicationApprehensionThe anxiety you may experiencewhen speaking to others is referred toby many names: speech anxiety, stage

ycommunicating

WITH CONFIDENCE

PERCEPTION CHECKING GUIDELINES

THINK ABOUTTHEORY

CommunicationApprehension

Since the early 1970s, the study ofcommunication apprehension has beena major research focus in the commu-nication discipline. Leading researcherJames C. McCroskey explains that “itpermeates every facet of an individual’slife,” including major decisions such ascareer and housing choices, as well asaffects the quality of our communica-tion behavior in a variety of interper-sonal, small group, social, educational,work, and public settings.45

In the beginning, when McCroskeybegan studying communication appre-hension, he believed that it was a

“learned trait, one that is conditionedthrough reinforcements of the child’scommunication behavior.”46 More re-cently, he has argued that a person’senvironment or situation has only asmall effect on that person’s level ofanxiety. He now believes that com-munication apprehension is a rela-tively permanent personality trait,“anexpression of principally inborn neu-robiological functioning.”47

Communication apprehension,concludes McCroskey, is “probably themost important factor in causing inef-fective communication. ... For those of

us who experience [communicationapprehension] to the point that it in-terferes with our daily lives or standsin our way of personal or professionalsuccess, we need not accept this assomething we have to endure. ... Com-munication apprehension can be re-duced by a variety of methods and hasalready [been] so reduced for literallythousands of individuals.”48 The re-mainder of this chapter provides adeeper understanding of communica-tion apprehension and a variety ofmethods for reducing its effects.


person or persons.”42 It occurs in avariety of communication contexts,such as group discussions, meetings,interpersonal conversations, publicspeaking, and job interviews.

Communication apprehension isnot just “in your head;” it is a type ofstress that manifests in real physio-logical responses. Physical reactionssuch as sweaty palms, perspiring, afast pulse, shallow breathing, coldextremities, flushed skin, nausea,trembling hands, quivering legs, or“butterflies” in the stomach are thebody’s response to the release ofhormones such as adrenaline.43

National surveys have discoveredthat fear of snakes and fear ofspeaking in public are the top twocommon fears among North Amer-icans, way ahead of fear of heights,anxieties about financial problems,and even fear of death. Fortunately,you can learn how to reduce youranxieties and transform that energyinto effective communication.

Strategies for Becoming aConfident CommunicatorDespite your worst fears, most peopleare kind and willing to forgive andforget a mistake. No one expects youto be perfect. Also, remember that inmost cases, your anxiety is invisible.We can’t see your pounding heart,upset stomach, cold hands, or worriedthoughts. Most of us think we displaymore anxiety than listeners reportnoticing. However, the fact that youranxiety is often invisible to othersdoes not make it feel any less real toyou. Fortunately, there are a numberof strategies to reduce your anxietyand help you become a more confi-dent communicator.

Prepare Although you may not beable to predict unexpected situationsor anticipate the nature of everydayconversations, you can prepare formany of the communication situa-tions you encounter. For instance,you can prepare for a job interview

or performance appraisal, a staffmeeting or professional seminar, anda public speech or presentation.Thorough preparation changes theunfamiliar into something familiar.With good preparation, you willknow a great deal about the ideasyou wish to discuss, the others whowill be involved, the context of thesituation, the content and structureof your message, and how you willexpress your message.

Relax, Re-think, Re-vision Bylearning to relax your body, you canreduce your level of communicationapprehension. However, a relaxedbody is only half the battle; you alsoneed to change the way you thinkabout communication.44 When youhave confident thoughts (“I know Ican persuade this group to join theAnimal Rescue League”), you beginto feel more confident. The follow-ing strategies can help you rethinkyour attitudes, visualize your mes-sage, and relax your body:

“Three strikes and you’re out” works in baseball,and “What goes up must come down” makessense in physics, but the rules of communicationare not hard and fast and should not be treatedas though they are enforceable laws. Forexample, novice speakers sometimesover-rehearse to the point ofsounding robotic for fear ofsaying “uh” or “um” in a pre-sentation. Good communicatorslearn not to “sweat the smallstuff” and that, sometimes,“rules” should be bent or broken.

communicating confidence 39

Sources of COMMUNICATION APPREHENSIONThe process of managing communication apprehension begins with recognizingwhy you feel anxious when speaking to an individual, group, or audience.Although everyone has personal reasons for nervousness, researchers have identified some of the key fears that underlie communication apprehension.49

Many researchers claim that the fear of a negative evaluation is the number-one cause of communication anxiety.50 When you focus your thoughts on thepossibility of failure, you are more likely to fail. Try to shift your focus to the positive feedback you see from others—a nod, a smile, or an alert look.When you sense that a listener likes you and your message, you may gain theextra confidence you need.

Most people fear the unknown. Performing an un-unfamiliar or unexpected role can transform ausually confident person into a tangle of nerves. Ifyou are attending an event as an audience mem-ber and suddenly are called on to introduce aguest to the audience, you can become very un-settled. Similarly, most people feel stressed wheninterviewing for a job in an office they’ve neverbeen to and with a person they hardly know. Ifyou’ve been promoted to a leadership positionand are now “the boss,” you may feel less

comfortable communicating with thecolleagues you now supervise.

Although a little attention may be flattering,being the center of attention makes manypeople nervous. Psychologist Peter Desberg puts it this way: If you wereperforming as part of a choir, you’dprobably feel much calmer than if youwere singing a solo.51 The more self-

focused you are, the more nervous youbecome. This is especially true when giving a

presentation to an audience. Try to stay focusedon your purpose and message, rather than allow-ing yourself to be distracted by the spotlight.

• Cognitive restructuring is amethod for reducing anxiety byreplacing negative, irrationalthoughts with more realistic,positive self-talk. The next timeyou feel anxious, tell yourself anyone of these positive statements:“My message is important” and“I am a well-prepared, skilledcommunicator.” Or, “I know

more about this than the audi-ence does” and “I’ve done thisbefore, so I’m not going to be asnervous as I’ve been in the past.”

• Visualization is a powerfulmethod for building confidence,and it allows you to imagine whatit would be like to experience anentire communication act. Find aquiet place, relax, and imagine

FEARof Failure

FEARof the

Unknown

FEARof the

Spotlight

FEARof

Breaking the Rules

Visualization A method ofreducing communicationapprehension through the processof imagining an entire performancein a communication situation

Cognitive restructuring Amethod of reducing communicationapprehension by replacing negativethoughts with more positive ones

Do you get nervous when interacting withpeople who have more status or power,education or experience, fame or popu-larity? Fear of others can be height-ened when talking to a powerful per-son, an influential group, or a largeaudience. Usually, this fear is based onan exaggerated feeling of being differentfrom or inferior to others. If you don’t knowmuch about the people around you, you are more likelyto feel apprehensive. Learning more about your listeners oreven your classmates can decrease your anxiety. You mayhave more in common with them than you realize.

FEARof Others


yourself walking into the roomwith confidence and energy.Think about the smiles you’ll re-ceive as you talk, the heads nod-ding in agreement, and the lookof interest in the eyes of your lis-teners. By visualizing yourselfcommunicating effectively, youare mentally practicing the skillsyou need to succeed while alsobuilding a positive self-image.

• Systematic desensitization is arelaxation and visualization tech-nique developed by psychologistJoseph Wolpe to reduce theanxiety associated with stressfulsituations.52 You start with deepmuscle relaxation. In this relaxedstate, you then deliberately imag-ine yourself in a variety of com-munication contexts ranging fromvery comfortable to highly stress-ful. By working to remain relaxedwhile visualizing various situa-tions, you will gradually associatecommunication with relaxationrather than nervousness.

Focus One of the best ways tobuild confidence is to concentrateon your message. Anxiety onlydraws your attention away from

Even rock stars like Sting practicemeditation and other relaxation

techniques that can transformnervousness and anxiety into

calmness and confidence.

Systematic desensitization Amethod of reducing communicationapprehension through deep musclerelaxation and visualization

Know Thy SelfWork Toward Calm Through SystematicDesensitizationThe following hierarchy of anxiety-producing communication situations54 range from least likely to most likely toproduce stress.Assess for yourself which of these situations produce the most anxiety; then, as you visualize eachcontext, try to remain calm and relaxed.

1. You are talking to your best friend in person.

2. You are being introduced to a new acquaintanceby your best friend.

3. You have to talk to a small group of people, all ofwhom you know well.

4. You are at a social gathering where you don’tknow anyone but are expected to meet and talkto others.

5. You are talking to someone in a supervisory roleabout a problem at work or school.

6. You are going to ask someone to go to a partywith you.

7. You are going on a job interview.

8. You have been asked to give a presentation infront of a large group of people.

9. You are to appear on a television show withother panelists to talk about a topic you know well.

10. You are to appear on a television show anddebate another person.

your message and directs it to yourfears. When you focus on gettingyour message across, you don’thave time to think about how youmight look or sound. This strategycan reduce your level of anxietyand improve your communication.

Practice The best way to becomegood at something is to practice, re-gardless of whether it’s cooking,serving a tennis ball, or communi-cating. You can practice wording arequest or expressing an emotion toanother person, answering questionsin an interview, stating your positionat a meeting, or making a presenta-tion to an audience.

In addition to enhancing yourconfidence, practice stimulates yourbrain in positive ways. As DanielGoleman notes in Social Intelligence,“Simulating an act is, in the brain,the same as performing it.”53 Prac-ticing communication mentally andphysically is as important as practic-ing the piano or a gymnastics rou-tine. Skilled pianists and medal-winning gymnasts spend hourspracticing, so at the very least, com-municators should practice whatthey intend to say to others beforethey say it.

Communication ASSESSMENTThe Personal Report of Communication Apprehension (PRCA)55 is composed of 24 statements concern-ing feelings about communication with other people. Indicate the degree to which each statement appliesto you by marking whether you (1) strongly agree, (2) agree, (3) are undecided, (4) disagree, or (5) stronglydisagree.Work quickly; record your first impression.

Scoring: As you score each subcategory, begin with a score of18 points.Then add or subtract from 18 based on the followinginstructions:

Subscores Scoring Formula

Group discussions 18 + scores for items 2, 4, and 6;– scores for items 1, 3, and 5

Meetings 18 + scores for items 8, 9, and 12;– scores for items 7, 10, and 11

Interpersonal 18 + scores for items 14, 16, and 17;conversations – scores for items 13, 15, and 18

Public speaking 18 + scores for items 19, 21, and 23;– scores for items 20, 22, and 24

______ 1. I dislike participating in group discussions.

______ 2. Generally, I am comfortable while participating in group discussions.

______ 3. I am tense and nervous while participating in group discussions.

______ 4. I like to get involved in group discussions.

______ 5. Engaging in a group discussion with new people makes me tense and nervous.

______ 6. I am calm and relaxed while participating in a group discussion.

______ 7. Generally, I am nervous when I have to participate in a meeting.

______ 8. Usually, I am calm and relaxed while participating in a meeting.

______ 9. I am very calm and relaxed when I am called upon to express an opinion at a meeting.

______ 10. I am afraid to express myself at meetings.

______ 11. Communicating at meetings usually makes me feel uncomfortable.

______ 12. I am very relaxed when answering questions at a meeting.

______ 13. While participating in a conversation with a new acquaintance, I feel very nervous.

______ 14. I have no fear of speaking up in conversations.

______ 15. Ordinarily, I am very tense and nervous in conversations.

______ 16. Ordinarily, I am very calm and relaxed in conversations.

______ 17. While conversing with a new acquaintance, I feel very relaxed.

______ 18. I’m afraid to speak up in conversations.

______ 19. I have no fear of giving a speech.

______ 20. Certain parts of my body feel very tense and rigid while I am giving a speech.

______ 21. I feel relaxed while giving a speech.

______ 22. My thoughts become confused and jumbled when I am giving a speech.

______ 23. I face the prospect of giving a speech with confidence.

______ 24. While giving a speech, I get so nervous I forget facts I really know.

To obtain your total score for the PRCA, add your foursubscores together.Your score should range between24 points and 120 points.

Norms for PRCA

Mean Standard Deviation

Total score 65.5 15.3

Group 15.4 4.8

Meetings 16.4 4.8

Interpersonal 14.5 4.2

Public speaking 19.3 5.1

communication assessment 41

How do yourcharacteristics,perceptions, andconfidence affect the wayyou communicate?• Your self-concept is largely deter-

mined by your level of self-awareness, the influence of otherpeople, past experiences, andyour cultural perspectives.

• The influence of other people—significant others, referencegroups, your roles, and the re-wards you receive from others—is a powerful determinant of yourself-concept.

• Beware of self-fulfilling prophe-cies, which are predictions thatdirectly or indirectly cause them-selves to become true.

• You can minimize self-deceptionand trust your view of your selfby objectively assessing your ownbehavior and by comparing your-self to others.

What communicationstrategies and skills canenhance your self-esteem?• You can enhance your self-esteem

by practicing self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-assertiveness,personal integrity, and self-talk.

• Practice converting negative self-talk about yourself into positiveself-talk.

How do your perceptionsaffect the way you select,organize, and interpretthe world around you?• Perception is the process through

which you select, organize, andinterpret sensory stimuli in theworld around you.

• Your needs, wants, interests,moods, and memories largely de-termine which stimuli you willselect.

• Four principles that influencehow you organize informationare the proximity, similarity, clo-sure, and simplicity principles.

• Your past experiences,knowledge, expectations,attitudes, and relationshipsaffect how you interpretand react to people andevents.

• When you engage inperception checking, ap-ply all seven guidingprinciples of communi-cation to the situation.

How do youbecome a moreconfidentcommunicator?• Communication apprehen-

sion refers to an individ-ual’s level of fear or anxi-ety associated with realor anticipated communi-

cation with another person orpersons.

• Sources of communication ap-prehension include fear of failure,fear of the unknown, fear of thespotlight, fear of others, and fearof breaking the supposed rules.

• Strategies for reducing your levelof communication apprehensioninclude (a) being prepared, (b)physical relaxation, (c) cognitiverestructuring, (d) visualization,(e) systematic desensitization, (f)focusing, and (g) practicing.

Summary


Most infants begin to recognize themselves in a mirror__________ months of age.a. by 6b. between 6 and 12c. between 12 and 18d. between 18 and 24e. after 24

If you tell your parents that you’ll never become a doctor be-cause you’re not a good science student, you may not pursuethis career goal. Which aspect of self-concept may be respon-sible for your decision?a. self-awarenessb. self-monitoringc. self-assertivenessd. self-fulfilling prophecye. self-disclosure

Which of the following techniques for improving self-esteemcan help you stop blaming others for your failures?a. self-talkb. personal integrityc. self-assertivenessd. self-responsibilitye. self-acceptance

Which answers is an example of someone who tells you toaccept her disruptive behavior because it is just who she is?a. She rarely stands up for herself in appropriate ways.b. She always reacts in a way that is consistent with her val-

ues and beliefs.c. She engages in negative rather than positive self-talk.d. She suffers from high but unrealistic self-esteem.e. She justifies her unfriendliness by saying that’s just her

leadership style.

Your textbook uses the example of eyewitness testimony toillustratea. the power of self-concept.b. the inaccuracies in human perception.c. the role of selection in the perception process.d. the role of organization in the perception process.e. the role of interpretation in the perception process.

5

4

3

2

1 When a mother sees blood on her daughter’s sleeve, she as-sumes that her daughter has been badly hurt in an accident.This is an example ofa. the proximity principle.b. the similarity principle.c. the closure principle.d. the simplicity principle.e. the complexity principle.

Which guiding principle helps you check your perceptions?a. Know Thy Selfb. Connect with Othersc. Determine Your Purposed. Select Appropriate Contente. all of the above

Why doesn’t the Golden Rule always work?a. Because you have to get to know your neighbor very well

before you can “love thy neighbor as thyself.”b. Because “turning the other cheek” may not help you un-

derstand another person’s motives.c. Because sacrificing yourself for the sake of others may

help the other person, but be very detrimental to you.d. “Honoring thy father and mother” all of the time may pre-

vent you from realizing your own potential.e. Because if you “do unto others as you would have them

do unto you,” you may discover that the other person maynot want the same things you do.

Which communication scholar has done the most researchon communication apprehension?a. Hermann Rorschachb. Daniel Golemanc. James McCroskeyd. Min-Sun Kime. Leon Festinger

Which strategy for reducing your level of communication ap-prehension involves replacing negative, irrational thoughtswith more realistic, positive self-talk?a. Be prepared.b. Use cognitive restructuring.c. Imagine what it would be like to experience an entire

communication act successfully.d. Use systematic desensitization.e. Focus on your message and practice that message.

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TESTyourknowledgeAnswers: 1-d; 2-d; 3-d; 4-e; 5-b; 6-d; 7-e; 8-e; 9-c; 10-b;

test your knowledge 43

think communication r e © 2011 t isan.engleberg p … · of us,when we think of michael jackson,...

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