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AFA Annual Meeting, Thursday, December 4, 2014

Path 1: Personal Development: Challenge 2. Resilience

Eastern Region

Introduction


Conflict management is the process of limiting the

negative aspects of conflict effectiveness or performance

in organization while increasing the positive aspects of

conflict. The aim of conflict management is to enhance

learning and group outcomes, including effectiveness or

performance in organizational setting.

Rahim, M. A. (2002) Toward a theory of managing organizational conflict.

The International Journal of Conflict Management, 13, 206-235.

Conflict Management



• Research shows that 60-80% of all difficulties in organizations stem from strained relationships

between employees, not from deficits in individual employee’s skill or motivation. Daniel Dana,

Managing Differences: How to Build Better Relationships at Work and Home (2005, 4th ed.); Barbara J.

Kreisman, Insights into Employee Motivation, Commitment and Retention (2002).

• The typical manager spends 25-40% of his or her time dealing with workplace conflicts. That’s one

to two days of every work week. Washington Business Journal, May 2005.

Workplace Conflict and How Businesses Can Harness It to Thrive Report• 85 percent of employees deal with conflict on some level• 29 percent of employees deal with it almost constantly• 34 percent of conflict occurs among front-line employees• 12 percent of employees say they frequently witness conflict among the senior team• 49 percent of conflict is a result of personality clashes and “warring egos”• 27 percent of employees have witnessed conflicts lead to personal attacks• 9 percent have seen workplace conflict cause a project to fail

https://www.cpp.com/pdfs/CPP_Global_Human_Capital_Report_Workplace_Conflict.pdf

Whether at home, at work, or in a chapter meeting, conflict

arises from differences, which may result when we

disagree over:

• Values

• Motivations

• Perceptions

• Ideas

• Desires

Where does conflict come from?


Adopted from: http://www.edcc.edu/counseling/documents/Conflict.pdf

Sometimes these differences look trivial…

Where does conflict come from? (continued)


but when a conflict triggers strong feelings,

a deep personal and relational need is at the core of

the problem…

a need to feel safe and secure

a need to feel respected and valued

a need for greater closeness and intimacy

Adopted from: http://www.edcc.edu/counseling/documents/Conflict.pdf

Conflict Management Styles



Conflict Management Styles

Adapted from: Reginald (Reg) Adkins, PhD, Elemental Truths

http://elementaltruths.blogspot.com/2006/11/conflict-management-quiz.html

We each have our own way of dealing with conflict. The techniques we use are based on

many variables such as our basic underlying temperament, our personality, our

environment and where we are in our professional career. However, by and large there are

five major styles of conflict management techniques in our tool box. In order to address

conflict we draw from a collaborating, competing, avoiding, harmonizing or compromising

style of management. None of these strategies is superior in and of itself. How effective

they are depends on the context in which they are used.


The Competing Shark Sharks use a forcing or competing conflict management style Sharks are highly goal-oriented Relationships take on a lower priority Sharks do not hesitate to use aggressive behavior to resolve conflicts Sharks can be autocratic, authoritative, and uncooperative; threatening and intimidating Sharks have a need to win; therefore others must lose, creating win-lose situations

Advantage: If the shark's decision is correct, a better decision without compromise can result Disadvantage: May breed hostility and resentment toward the person using it

Appropriate times to use a Shark style o when conflict involves personal differences that are difficult to change o when fostering intimate or supportive relationships is not critical o when others are likely to take advantage of noncompetitive behavior o when conflict resolution is urgent; when decision is vital in crisis o when unpopular decisions need to be implemented.

Conflict Management Styles (continued)


Conflict Management Styles (continued)The Avoiding Turtle Turtles adopt an avoiding or withdrawing conflict management style Turtles would rather hide and ignore conflict than resolve it; this leads them uncooperative and unassertive Turtles tend to give up personal goals and display passive behavior creating lose-lose situations

Advantage: may help to maintain relationships that would be hurt by conflict resolution

Disadvantage: Conflicts remain unresolved, overuse of the style leads to others walking over them

Appropriate times to use a Turtle Style: o when the stakes are not high or issue is trivial o when confrontation will hurt a working relationship o when there is little chance of satisfying your wants o when disruption outweighs benefit of conflict resolution o when gathering information is more important than an immediate decision o when others can more effectively resolve the conflict when time constraints demand a delay


Conflict Management Styles (continued)The Accommodating Teddy Bear Teddy bears use a smoothing or accommodating conflict management style with emphasis on human relationships Teddy bears ignore their own goals and resolve conflict by giving into others; unassertive and cooperative creating a win-lose (bear is loser) situation

Advantage: Accommodating maintains relationships

Disadvantage: Giving in may not be productive, bear may be taken advantage of

Appropriate times to use a Teddy Bear Style o when maintaining the relationship outweighs other considerations o when suggestions/changes are not important to the accommodator o when minimizing losses in situations where outmatched or losing o when time is limited or when harmony and stability are valued


Conflict Management Styles (continued)The Compromising Fox Foxes use a compromising conflict management style; concern is for goals and relationships Foxes are willing to sacrifice some of their goals while persuading others to give up part of theirs Compromise is assertive and cooperative-result is either win-lose or lose-lose

Advantage: relationships are maintained and conflicts are removed Disadvantage: compromise may create less than ideal outcome and game playing can result

Appropriate times to use a Fox Style o when important/complex issues leave no clear or simple solutions o when all conflicting people are equal in power and have strong interests in different solutions o when there are no time restraints


Conflict Management Styles (continued)The Collaborating Owl Owls use a collaborating or problem confronting conflict management style valuing their goals and relationships Owls view conflicts as problems to be solved finding solutions agreeable to all sides (win-win)

Advantage: both sides get what they want and negative feelings eliminated

Disadvantage: takes a great deal of time and effort

Appropriate times to use an Owl Style o when maintaining relationships is important o when time is not a concern o when peer conflict is involved o when trying to gain commitment through consensus building o when learning and trying to merge differing perspectives

Resolving Conflict



• Make the relationship your priority. Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.

• Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here and now to solve the problem.

• Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don't want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes. But if there are dozens of spots, arguing over a single space isn’t worth it.

Tips for managing and resolving conflict


• Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives.

• Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on. Fair fighting: Ground rules

Tips for managing and resolving conflict (continued)


Ground rules • Use “I” statements.• Remain calm.• Express feelings in words, not actions. • Be specific about what is bothering you. • Use facts and your honest feelings.• Deal with only one issue at a time. • No "hitting below the belt." • Focus on actions instead of the person.• Deal with problems as they arise. • Engage in two way communication.

Tips for managing and resolving conflict (continued)


Tips for resolving conflict through listening• Listen to the reasons the other person gives for being upset.

• Make sure you understand what the other person is telling you—from his or her point of view.

• Repeat the other person’s words, and ask if you have understood correctly. Ask if anything remains unspoken, giving the person time to think before answering.

• Resist the temptation to interject your own point of view until the other person has said everything he or she wants to say and feels that you have listened to and understood his or her message.


Tips for resolving conflict through listening (continued) Helpful responses help you understand the other person’s point of view: • Encourage the other person to share his or her issues as fully as

possible. • Clarify the real issues, rather than making assumptions.• Restate what you have heard, so you are both able to see what has

been understood so far it may be that the other person will then realize that additional information is needed.

• Reflect feelings - be as clear as possible.• Validate the concerns of the other person, even if a solution is

elusive at this time.

Source: University of Wisconsin, Madison

Questions


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