the world is built with kindness - partners in...

July / August 2010/5770 • Vol. 52 No. 2

The world is built with

kindness

NCyi...aT WorK For THe orTHoDoX JeWIsH CoMMunITY YOUNG ISRAEL BRANCH SYNAGOGUES

SYNAGOGUE SUPPORT SERVICES

YOUNG ISRAEL COUNCIL OF RABBIS

INTERNATIONAL YOUNG ISRAEL

MOVEMENT- ISRAEL REGION

YOUTH PROGRAMS & ACTIVITIES

ACHVA YOUTH SUMMER PROGRAMS

WOMEN’S DIVISION

KASHRUTH CERTIFICATION & EDUCATION

RABBINIC PLACEMENT & DEVELOPMENT

RABBINICS TRAINING PROGRAM

NOT-FOR-PROFIT MANAGEMENT & TRAINING

ADVANCED EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMS

SISTERHOOD SUPPORT SERVICES

SHIDDUCH PROGRAMMING

INTER-BRANCH SPORTS LEAGUES

NATIONAL CONFERENCES

YOUNG ISRAEL PUBLICATIONS

FUND FOR RELIGIOUS PROGRAMMING

ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES

KIRUV/OUTREACH SERVICES

ADULT EDUCATION

COMMUNAL AFFAIRS

POLITICAL ACTION CAMPAIGNS

SENIOR CITIZENS’ PROGRAMS

REVOLVING LOAN FUND

NATIONAL SPEAKERS BUREAU

BENEVOLENT ASSOCIATION

SPECIAL TZEDAKAH CAMPAIGNS

“The aims and purposes of the organization shall be to foster and maintain a program of spiritual, cultural, social and communal activity towards the advancement and perpetuation of traditional Torah-true Judaism; and to instill into Jewish youth an understanding and appreciation of the high ethical and spiritual values of Judaism and demonstrate the compatibility of the ancient faith of Israel with good citizenship.

The organization shall promote cooperation among the constituent branches

now existing and which may hereafter be formed, and the establishment of a close bond of kinship to the end that their individual and common problems may

more easily be solved, and act as the federated and

central body for the Young I s r a e l Movement so that its influence as a force in Jewry may be felt and recognized in America and the world over.”(FROM THE PREAMBLE OF THE YOUNG ISRAEL CONSTITUTION)

ISSN 1049-9199—UPS # 696-780VOLUME 52, NO. 2The appearance of advertising in this publication does not imply or constitute Kashrut endorsement. Signed articles in VIEWPOINT do not necessarily represent the opinion of the National Council of Young Israel.

Published 4 times a year (Mar-Ap; July-Aug; Sept-Oct; Nov-Dec) by:National Council of Young Israel111 John St., Ste. 450, New York, NY 10038(212) 929-1525, Fax (212) 727-9526E-mail: [email protected] • Website: http://www.youngisrael.org

Rabbi Pesach Lerner, Executive Vice PresidentChaim Leibtag , Chief Operating Offi cerRabbi Binyamin Hammer, Director of Rabbinic ServicesRabbi Mordechai Roizman, Director of Synagogue ServicesRebbetzin Judi Steinig, Director of ProgrammingRoger Braverman, Director of Summer ProgramsTziporah Spear, Director of Advertising and Marketing, ViewpointMichael Miller, Chief Financial Offi cer

Esther Altmann, Editor, Viewpoint Magazine

Muzi Mazal Husni, Art Director - MuziStudioNY.com

Subscription: For Young Israel members – included in membership dues: Periodicals postage paid at New York, NY and additional mailing offi ces. Postmaster: Send address changes to VIEWPOINT, National Council of Young Israel. Circulation: 111 John St., Suite 450, NY, NY 10038

NCYI BOARD OF DIRECTORS

Shlomo Z. MostofskyPresident

Rabbi Jonah GewirtzChairman of the Board

Eli DworetskyFirst Vice President

Farley WeissSecond Vice President

Rabbi Chaim KomendantTreasurer

Ronald GoldmanFinancial Secretary

Charles MillerRecording Secretary

ASSOCIATE VICE PRESIDENTS Dr. Chanania GangEtan MirwisRaoul MoskovitzRozanne Polansky Yosef PoplakRabbi Zev SchostakEliezer Silverman Stanley SvedStanley TreitelJeff rey Winter

COMMITTEE CHAIRS/BOARD MEMBERS*Lee CaplanMark HerskovitzRobert Jacobs David LoveRuth SapersteinSheldon SchreinerHaskell Yadlovker*IN FORMATION

Honorary PresidentsRabbi David HillChaim S. Kaminetzky

Honorary Vice PresidentsJudah LifschitzDavid LoveRuth Saperstein

among the constituent branches now existing and which may

hereafter be formed, and the establishment of a

Viewpoint is now online: www.youngisrael.org/content/viewpoint_new.cfm

Sukkot Campaign ‘10for Families of Gush Katif Communities

Now underway!“Imagine opening the refrig-

erator and seeing it full.”

“In the beginning everyone

remembered, now only you.”

“It is impossible to describe

our appreciation.”

“All of a sudden we had food

in the house.”

“We were able to enjoy the

true spirit of the Chag.”

“It is good to see that people

remember and give.”

4 • NatioNal CouNCil of YouNg israel viewpoiNt summer 5770/2010

Sukkot Campaign ‘10for Families of Gush Katif Communities

Now underway!The National Council of Young Israel

The International Young Israel Movement - Israel RegionCouncil of Young Israel Rabbis in Israel

and theYad Ezra Relief Organization of Israel

with the help ofEugen and Jean Gluck of Forest Hills, NY

and many others, synagogues and individuals, provided food for the holidays of Sukkot,

Pesach and Shavuot to almost 1000 families of the former communities of Gush Katif

and Northern Shomron.

The National Council of Young Israel • 111 John Street, Suite 450, New York, NY 10038Tel. 212.929.1525 • Fax. 212.727.9526 • www.YoungIsrael.org

The International Young Israel Movement - Israel Region

“Imagine opening the refrig-

erator and seeing it full.”

“In the beginning everyone

remembered, now only you.”

“It is impossible to describe

our appreciation.”

“All of a sudden we had food

in the house.”

“We were able to enjoy the

true spirit of the Chag.”

“It is good to see that people

remember and give.”

Sponsor a family for $360 - $720

Please make your tax-deductible contributions

payable to: Young Israel Charities

Shalosh Regalim Campaign

Mail to: National Council of Young israel

111 John st., #450New York, NY 10038

Donations can also be made online at

www.youngisrael.org (click on gush Katif shalosh

regalim Campaign to donate)


JudaicaEngravingINTERNATIONAL

4509 14th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11219phone: 718.436.3136, fax: 718.436.5489

• TREES OF LIFE• MEMORIAL TABLETS• DONOR WALLS• ETERNAL LIGHTS• CUSTOM AWARDS• CUT OUT LETTERING• A.D.A. SIGNAGE• CAST BRONZE PLAQUES

• ARON KODESH• BOOK CASES• STAINED & CARVED WINDOWS

• HOLOCAUST MEMORIALS

• & MUCH MORE

www.jeii.com

tk,erhcbhltktcubhl

YOUNG ISRAEL OF GREAT NECKYOUNG ISRAEL OF WEST HEMPSTEAD

YOUNG ISRAEL OF TEANECK

VIEWPOINT M A G A Z I N E

July-August 2010/5770

7From the Editor

8 Chesed Shel Emes

Rabbi Moshe Taub

10 Reminiscences of a Doula

Liat Katz

12 Making The Worst of Times

A Bit BetterSarah Spielman

15 Spiritual Investing: Bikur Cholim

Esther Altmann

17Infertility:

A Challenge to our CommunityRabbi Gideon Weitzman

20The Ripple Effect of Chesed

Esther Altmann

The National Council of Young Is-rael (NCYI) announced that nine Young Israel branches from across the United States have been awarded 2010 Non-Pro� t Homeland Security Grants and will receive a total of approximately $700,000 to enhance security for their synagogues. Grants awarded under this program can be used for equipment for speci� c “target-hardening” activi-ties, such as physical security enhance-

ments, inspection and screening sys-tems, and security training. In addition, numerous non-Young Israel institutions who bene� ted from NCYI assistance also received awards.

Earlier this year, the National Coun-cil of Young Israel, in conjunction with the Jewish Community Relations Coun-cil of New York, brought together over one-hundred synagogues and not-for-pro� t organizations for an interactive

webinar discussion about the not-for-pro� t security grants. The sessions fo-cused on how to complete the grant applications and the steps that appli-cants are required to take in order to be considered for a grant award.

For more information about next year’s Non-Pro� t Homeland Security Grant op-portunities, contact NCYI Director of Syna-gogue Services Rabbi Mordechai Roizman by e-mail at [email protected], or by phone at 212-929-1525 x103.

As we go to print Young Israel synagogues across the US are awarded Homeland Security Grants

6 • NATIONAL COUNCIL OF YOUNG ISRAEL VIEWPOINT SUMMER 5770/2010 NATIONAL COUNCIL OF YOUNG ISRAEL VIEWPOINT SUMMER 5770/2010 • 7

We have or-ganizations and societ-ies to care for the sick, to dower poor brides

and to bury the indigent. In recent years, the number of charitable en-deavors has skyrocketed. The number of “gemachs” (acronym for “gemilut chasodim” – loving kindness) is – seem-ingly numberless – as these free-loan societies have proliferated in every Jewish community. Today, it is possible to borrow from a “gemach” everything from wedding dresses to children’s toys, to “typing for teachers” (a free service), to school uniforms. Even wed-ding music and photography are of-fered, as is lodging for your wedding guests, and don’t forget the availability of free loans to help pay for the sim-cha! There is even a special “gemach” where, in a pinch, one can obtain medi-cations on Shabbat.

Whereas we have occasion to be-rate ourselves for the shortcomings of our community that crop up from time to time, when it comes to chesed, we have every reason to pride ourselves on this wonderful living example of our tradition at its best. The tradition is alive and well in our communities and the extent to which chesed is practiced in the Orthodox community is a won-der, an inspiration and a beacon of light to other Jews and to the world at large.

The articles in the Summer 2010 is-

sue of Viewpoint off er some examples of how our fellow Jews practice chesed,while performing “tikkun olam” and enhancing their own lives at the same time. Many of our contributors have noted that chesed, to be eff ective, does not need to be a “grand gesture.” Even something as simple as a kind remark or a smile can make a huge diff erence.

We can all recall simple kindnesses that still tug at our hearts after years have past. Many years ago I was con-fi ned to a hospital bed during a high-risk pregnancy. I felt so helpless and sad when my 2 1/2 year old son would visit me and I was unable to do some-thing special for him. I still smile when I remember the dishes of red jello that the Bikur Cholim volunteer (Chava Rose, who now directs the Bikur Cho-lim organization in that hospital. See page 15) left in the hospital refrigera-tor for people who needed clear diets. This shimmery dish of jello was an ex-citing treat that I could off er my little boy, who was delighted. That gesture restored to me a sense of agency and capacity that was taken away simply by my “patient status.”

What struck home to us is that it’s not all that diffi cult, not all that time- consuming nor exhausting to do the mitzvah of chesed. A commitment to doing chesed can and should be something within our comfort zone, and we need not feel overburdened or stretched too thin in the doing.

Certain themes pop up in these sto-ries: People who innovate in their prac-

tice of chesed are often characterized by a certain turn of mind – their special awareness to problems that may be ob-vious, but which escape the attention of the rest of us, allowing them to hone in on the needs of their fellow humans. Their creativity lies in their ingenious ways of fi nding solutions, in their abil-ity to look at a situation, assess the pos-sibilities for action and then, act upon it. These traits – the ability to see and assess need and the confi dence to act upon it - are the hallmarks of our con-tributors.

We were inspired reading these ac-counts. There is always some chesed that is easily doable for each of us if we keep our eyes open and our hearts will-ing to reach out. Perhaps in these con-fusing and complex times, we should to take another look at the mitzvah of chesed - what makes it work and how we fi t in, and perhaps we can gain a refreshed appreciation of ourselves vis a vis the eternal and true values of our lives as Torah-observant Jews. What can we contribute and what tangible changes are we able to work in our own worlds to aff ect ourselves and others in meaningful ways?

Esther AltmannEditor, NCYI Viewpoint

From the Editor:Chesed is certainly nothing novel or new to the Jewish community. So intrinsic is it to our world view that it is described as one of the pil-lars upon which the world stands. Every Jewish child is instilled with the importance of chesed in word and action from the cradle, through the school years and into adulthood. And every Jewish community throughout our history has made it a priority to provide for the needs of its congregants throughout life’s cycles.

America’s most exquisite lines

of invitations, announcements,

personalized stationary, commercial

and professional stationary.

We also off er a full line of accessories,

including imprinted kipot, zemirot,

benchers & Hebrew New Year cards.

DISCOUNTEDSun. 10 am - 2 pm

Mon - Thurs. 3 pm - 8 pm

600 West 246th Street

Riverdale, NY 10471

718-548-3900

Outside N.Y. State, call: 800-INV-PLUS

Phone orders accepted

America’s most exquisite lines

Invitations plus

6 • NatioNal CouNCil of YouNg israel viewpoiNt summer 5770/2010 NatioNal CouNCil of YouNg israel viewpoiNt summer 5770/2010 • 7

Chesed Shel Emes

Beyond these feel-ings, I, personally, have reservations. I have come to learn that when rabbis give a lec-ture on a specifi c

topic that needs to be addressed in a community or the Klal, all too often those who need the class the most do not attend, and those who need it the least are the most engaged. So, I imagine what type of person takes the time to read an issue of a magazine dedicated to Chesed, and more, would volunteer to read the article written by a rabbi. You see, I know who you are. You are concerned, involved in your community. You support your local Bikur Cholim and Tomchei Shabbos. You strive to pay full tuition. You sup-port the State of Israel, dedicating to it your time and money. You seek to help

to fi nd matches for the singles in your community. You volunteer.

By no means do I intend to sound dismissive of you; on the contrary, you are to be applauded. However, know-ing an audience allows one to avoid redundancies and permits us, here, to talk frankly. I am convinced that you, dear reader, have your “Bachelors” in Chesed, perhaps even your “Masters”. Let us therefore go deeper.

The Midrash in Bereishis Rabbah (8/5) tells us of a peculiar dialogue that took place soon after G-d announced His plans to create humanity: Chesed agreed with G-d’s plan, stating, as sup-port, the idea that Man will perform many acts of kindness. Emes however strongly opposed G-d’s plan. It argued that Man would be full of lies and de-ceit.

It seems odd that these two forces would appear to have opposing wants

or thoughts*, as if they can be at times mutually exclusive. Do Chesed and mercy not represent Truth? And is Emes not one of the 13 Merciful Attributes of G-d?

However, while it is true that these two forces complement each other, they are by no means the same. Chesed begins as a natural instinct – a child knows about mercy. Chesed is, in fact, the surrendering to natural feelings of concern and basic emotions.

Emes, on the other hand, demands contemplation, meditation and study. It takes a lifetime to achieve. Whereas we are born Gomlei Chasodim (it is af-ter all, according to the Talmud, a sign of our pristine pedigree), we do not have an innate knowledge of Truth.

It is therefore of no surprise that at the dawn of Man we found support from Chesed, for Man would have had that quality within him in his incep-

To write about Chesed seems like an exercise in courage…the courage to be unoriginal. It is the topic of the clichéd sermon; the moral of the tired story; the stuff of children’s Parsha sheets. We feel, at times, too sophisticated to be reading about a topic, while important, so obvious and sec-ond nature to all of humanity, not just the Am Bechira. No, we want to be “challenged.” Intellectu-ally, we want to fi nd Deveikut with G-d, we wish to kiss the Divine; but Chesed? We took that class already.

by Rabbi Moshe Taub, YI of Greater Buff alo, NY


tion. Emes, conversely, understood that Man, while carrying the potential to discover Truth, would not be born with it.

Amazingly however, for the think-ing Torah Jew, something slowly evolves over a lifetime and a stunning reversal takes place: Emes becomes innate; Halacha with all of its minutia and complexities becomes second na-ture, whereas Chesed – through life’s many lessons – becomes a matter of thought, preparation and sensitivity to the receiver. In fact, these two concepts merge under the idiom of Chesed Shel Emes, where no longer is the good deed about our own need for fulfill-ment (although that, too, is healthy) but about doing what is right, long term. We begin to realize that delibera-tion, the search for an Emes, applies to Chesed as well. We learn to ask Shailos about priorities in charity giving, we weigh community needs verses those of our family, and we learn that, some-times, the most thoughtful and well -intentioned words you can muster can lead to undesired and even disastrous results.

Alas, and paradoxically, there are times when too much thought can eclipse the most simple truths within Chesed. I recall when Rabbi Shlomo Zal-man Aurbach passed away, I bumped into my old Chumash Rebbe, Rabbi Dinkle, whose family was very close with the Aurbachs. I asked if he had any recollections of this magnificently kind Halachik master (I have yet to find one picture where Rav Aurbach is not smiling!) and he told me the following: There was man who came into Rav Au-rbach and explained that he had been visiting Eretz Yisroel for the past two weeks and wanted to know what he should bring from Artzeinu HaKadosha to his children back in Chutz LaAretz. At this point in retelling this story, my old Chumash Rebbe began to weep. Through his tears he told me what Rav Aurbach replied. “He smiled at the fa-ther, took his hands, and said ‘Toys’.”

While Chesed, at times, demands thought, we can never lose our simple instincts.

The purpose of this issue of View-point is not just to retread tired con-cepts but to approach those concepts in new and insightful ways. Here, we are forced to admit that that which seems uncomplicated can, in fact, be intricate, and that which seems complex, could at times be most basic and natural.

We, here, have the courage to be unoriginal and embrace a Torah truth: “Olam Chesed Yibaneh” (Psalms 89:3) – “Olam,” meaning Ad Olam, incessantly, continuously shall we build on Chesed (see Rashi there, first understanding).

May the Al-Mighty bless us with wisdom to know how to help others.

* See Midrash there where Shalom and Tzedek, as well, debate this issue.

Rabbi Moshe Taub has been the Rav of the Young Israel of Greater Buffalo, NY since 2004 and serves as well as the Rav HaMachshir of the Vaad Hakashruth of Buffalo. Rabbi Taub has lectured in many communities in the U.S and Canada on a wide variety of topics with a focus on Modern Halacha and Rabbinic Philosophy.


by Liat Katz

I came to the Doula pro-gram in 2008 looking for a hands-on experience giv-ing back. Until then, I con-tributed a predetermined percent of my earnings to non-profit organiza-

tions that supported causes dear to my heart. Although I believe this practice is meaningful, it lacked the sense of fulfillment that doing provides. Even-tually, I recognized my desire to take a more active role, to use my time, per-sonal qualities and life experience in the service of others. So I began look-ing for a volunteer opportunity that would fit my schedule and interests. My search ended when a friend told me about the Doula to Accompany and Comfort program. Doulas receive training to provide companionship and comfort for people whose life ex-pectancy is 18 months or less and who have limited support from family and friends. I recalled the distress my aunt and family experienced when she was diagnosed with cancer; the progres-sion of her illness and final weeks of her life. It left a deep impression on me and I was moved by the program’s mis-sion. I have met with three clients since I completed training. What astonishes me is the intensity of each encounter, how much can happen in the span of several weeks or months. Doulas en-ter the lives of complete strangers to become caring and sometimes dear friends.

Poignant moments are captured in the smallest gestures. On my 29th

birthday, I sliced a large wedge of birth-day cake and brought it with me to visit Saul. I arrived during the middle of din-ner. When I presented the cake to Saul and told him it was my birthday, he stood up with delight and pulled out a chair for me to be seated on. Well over six feet tall but shaky on his feet, Saul reached high above his head to the top kitchen shelf where his mother’s fine china rested, and pulled several plates down. I could tell by their general inac-cessibility and the vinyl bags covering them that these plates only made it out on special occasions. I was terrified that a shelf of plates would come crashing down on us, and deeply touched by his gesture of love in making my birthday a celebration.

As a Doula, I have the privilege of developing relationships with individu-als who touch my life by inviting me to share a special and unique time in theirs. Saul, my first client, was a phi-losophy professor and psychotherapist waging his final battle with cancer. De-spite a nearly 50 year age difference, we shared many interests including a love of philosophy and psychology, Israel, and, investing in the stock mar-ket. Saul served in the US military, I in the Israel Air Force. The list goes on. In the years leading up to his illness, Saul wrote a book that synthesized his per-sonal philosophy on living a good life, which he asked me to help edit. During our time together, he shared the ideas and life experiences that influenced him as they related to his manuscript. These visits gave me a window into

The “Doula to Accompany

and Comfort” is a decade-old

project of the Jewish Board of

Family and Children’s Services

(JBFCS) in NY, that recruits,

trains and supervises volun-

teers who visit and provide

companionship to people

who have a life expectancy

of 18 months or less and may

have limited social support.

The volunteers, who come

from every walk of life, make

the commitment to visit

weekly.

Doulas make a significant

difference in the lives of the

people they work with at the

most vulnerable and poten-

tially loneliest time of their

lives, providing emotional,

spiritual and social support,

comfort, practical assistance

and advocacy. The most valu-

able and profound gift Doulas

offer is simply their humanity,

their willingness to witness

the life of another in pure

friendship.

Reminiscences of aDoula


Saul’s inner world and became a life review for him, a chance to refl ect on and mourn the loss of a lifetime of work and memories. We shared tender moments and developed a friendship I cherish. When he passed, Saul’s son asked me to deliver a eulogy and I was privileged to share excerpts of his book with the people closest to him.

The inevitability of loss in the Doula-client relationship presents a layer of emotional com-plexity that requires special attention. Thank-fully, support is never far away. The program direc-tors Judith and Amy are an invaluable source of guidance, care and encouragement. Also, frequent support group meetings provide a forum for Doulas to share their experiences and learn from one another. This network of support is essential, especially after losing a cli-ent. When Saul passed, it was hard to know how much I should grieve. How close were we, really? Refl ecting on these questions with Judith, Amy and other Doulas helped me make sense of our relationship and what made it special for each of us. I came to Saul as a stranger, with no agenda, to provide whatever support was necessary for

him at the time. For Saul, completing his manuscript was such a powerful need that my willingness to work with him on it nourished him in a way that I cannot fully understand. For me, Saul’s willingness to open up to me, share his inner world with me and take an active interest in my life despite his suff ering touched me deeply. I wanted nothing more than to ease his way, to make the time we had together full of meaning and joy. It is a privilege to have been part of his life.

My fellow Doulas inspire me with their courage, compassion, generos-

ity, and tenderness. Doulas come from every back-ground and represent ev-ery age group. We fi nd our way to this program though countless avenues; some have lost loved ones to ill-ness, others are touched by the program and fi nd it compelling. The common thread that unites us is a de-sire to engage in this work, for all its rewards and chal-lenges. It’s not about saying or doing the right thing or being a certain kind of per-son. Just showing up has a profound impact. Our pres-ence lessens the burden by communicating the mes-sage that our clients are not alone. Death is ultimately a solitary experience, but the journey leading up to it doesn’t have to be.

Liat Katz resides in New York City. Born in the United States, she immigrated to Israel as a teenager and lived there for six years. Following graduation from university in the U.S., Liat pursued a career in fi nance. She left her job in 2009 and will begin a doctoral pro-gram in clinical psychology this fall.

For information about the Doula program call:

Amy Levine, Program Director at 212-632-4768

It’s not about saying or doing

the right thing or being a certain

kind of person. Just showing up has a profound impact.


In January 2004, after two decades of working be-hind the scenes, the men convened and decided to establish an official orga-nization. They called it Mis-askim [“those who do”],

because they are “osek” - occupied, in tzarchei tzibur - “the needs of the com-munity”. Why an official organization? Rabbi Yanky Meyer, Director of Misas-kim, explained, “Firstly, we wanted it to be easier for people to find us. They don’t have to rely on the grapevine to locate us. Secondly, we wanted to be more organized, so that we can do more for Klal Yisroel.” Two selfless mo-tives; one golden organization.

As the years passed, these extraor-dinary ba’alei chesed have asked them-selves time and again, “How else can we help Klal Yisroel?” And so, since Mis-askim’s inception, they have initiated innovative projects, which have revo-lutionized the concept of chesed again and again. Today, their comprehensive services are divided into five umbrella

categories; kavod hames, chevra kadi-sha, mes mitzvah, disaster/accident re-covery and gemach nichumim.

These projects evolved from shar-ing others’ pain with open eyes and an open heart. “Anyone could have really thought of these ideas,” Rabbi Meyer says modestly. “It does not even require so much creativity or organization, but rather a genuine desire to help those people suffering out there. Take for example Misaskim’s famous Gemach Nichumim, [chesed for mourners] the famed ‘Shiva Chair Gemach.’ Everyone knows how painful it is to sit shiva. So,

we brainstormed and came up with a long list of items which would make the shiva week so much more com-forting and comfortable. We started small; 200 folding chairs, 30 low shiva chairs, 6 water coolers and several fans. We had one truck, servicing Boro Park and Flatbush, NY. Within weeks, we expanded to include Williamsburg. Today, we have 2,500 folding chairs, 300 plastic shiva chairs, 100 comfort-able shiva chairs, 65 water coolers, 50 aronei kodesh, dozens of air condition-ers, fans, phones, faxes, tape recorders and more. We rent five warehouses

Making The Worst Of Times

A Bit Betterby Sarah Spielman

It started as a group of five-six individuals, belonging to organizations such as Hatzolah and Bikkur Cholim, who had a knack for being at the right place at the right time. For some reason, they were always the ones called “to do the legal legwork after the crib death,” “to arrange the burial of this homeless man,” and “to make a quick clean-up and gather the body parts after the car accident.” Dedicated and unassuming, these noble-spirited individuals were committed to helping Jews, regardless if this chore was listed as one of their organization’s official services.


to store our equipment and have nine trucks to transport the equipment to practically every community in the NY/NJ tri-state area. In the average week, Misaskim makes an average of seventy pick-ups and deliveries to thirty-five shiva homes.”

And so it was with each of the Mis-askim initiatives. Misaskim heard the clarion call…and responded. To ease the stress and difficulties of organizing funerals, they purchased light genera-

tors, sound systems and trucks for all burial societies to use. To provide emo-tional support for grieving families, they teamed up with Chai Lifeline and trained a crisis intervention team. To inform the public about shiva locations and visiting hours, they posted the Shi-va Bulletin online and in newspapers.

Rabbi Meyer said, “This is the funda-ment of chesed. Stop, look and listen. You don’t have to be an official ‘Misas-kim volunteer’ to make a difference to a

suffering individual. You can join Misas-kim’s ’chessed revolution’ by thinking of how you can help the needy people in your life.

“Some things you can do which I learned from my experience with my Misaskim families: Before going to be menachem avel (comfort mourners), why not find out if it’s a convenient time for you to visit? All too often, we come to families after 11 pm on the first day of shiva, and the family members

NCYI on the move

rael of Oak Park in Michigan. Rabbi Schachter, a noted Talmudic scholar and Rosh Yeshiva of the rabbinical school (RIETS) at Yeshiva University, is also a prolific writer and lecturer on a wide variety of subjects relating to Jew-ish law.

Rabbi Schachter spent Shabbat speaking about a plethora of current is-sues. In addition, he was the featured speaker at a communitywide Melava Malka at the Young Israel of Oak Park, at which time he delivered a lecture en-titled “Honest to G-d: Living Our Lives with Integrity.” On Sunday morning, Rabbi Schachter spoke to parents and children at Yeshivat Akiva, followed by a discussion at the Young Israel of Oak Park about the halachic implications of genetic engineering.

“Rav Schachter’s visit to Detroit from Nov 6th thru the 8th was a great

success,” said Rabbi Michael Cohen, the Mara D’Atra of the Young Israel of Oak Park. “During his visit he was able to speak to a very diverse group of people ranging from a group of Fam-ily Law practitioners to whom he spoke about the divorce process and issues of custody, to a group of parents to whom he spoke about Kivud Av V’aim for the 21st century, to a group of healthcare professionals to whom he spoke about genetic testing and genetic engineer-ing.”

During that same weekend, the NCYI Department of Synagogue Ser-vices also hosted a special program on the East Coast. On Sunday, Novem-ber 8, the NCYI held another install-ment of one its popular programs called “Regional Synagogue Leadership Day.” �e leadership training and education program, which took place at the Young

Shlomo Z. Mostofsky, Pres. NCYI, lecturing at Lay Leadership Program

uno ad

28 NATIONAL COUNCIL OF YOUNG ISRAEL VIEWPOINT WINTER 5770/2009

NATIONAL COUNCIL OF YOUNG ISRAEL 11

In that area, too, is Herodion, the mini-Masada, with its breath-taking views of the area and exciting excavations, including the newly discovered King Herod’s tomb.

South, along this historic road linking the original “Bible Belt,” we enter He-bron and the tombs of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs. Only after its miraculous lib-eration have Jews once returned to pray at the tombs of the fathers and mothers of the nation. It took two thousand years. It was worth waiting for a miracle. Here, too, idealist young families forged the way for the nation and so today, Am Yisroel has returned to the second holiest city on earth. We are back!

If we continue south we travel through breath-taking areas on the margins of the Judean desert, where David �ed from his enemies. We can trace his steps and say the words of Psalms that he wrote right there.

The Negev Desert, the great empty spaces, the wild craggy mountains and the hidden springs beckon. Here is where you can feel what our people felt during their wanderings. You can almost hear that “thin quiet voice” that spoke to the prophets.

The Dead Sea, Ein Gedi springs and Masada are usually a package day tour. From the unique phenomenon of the only water where you can not sink, to the unparalleled drama of the last stand against Rome at Masada, to the refreshing waterfalls of Ein Gedi where David confronted Saul...what more can one say?

The Galilee. One of my favorite parts of the Land. Up north - the green moun-tains, lush valleys, Kinneret Lake, nature reserves...

From ancient history and archeology (the oldest synagogue in the world, the oldest Jewish �shing boat on earth) to nature, to fun activities for the kids, plan to spend a few days here.

The Golan Heights - a hikers dream; a wine tasters dream; an archaeologists ‘dream ... and a synagogue with the the name of one of the Mishna personalities cut on the front lintel!

Gamla - site of the heroic stand against Titus and the oldest synagogue in the world!

With the victory of the Six Day War, Israel turned the Golan Heights from an ever-threatening shadow of death to a mountain of security. Jews dream no more. You are home! We have returned to this Biblical area (Bashan in the Bible).

Our enemies were swept from the heights above, and now we are looking down on them and they are not pointing their guns down on us. Thank you G-d...” He never slumbers, the Guardian of Israel.

After introducing you to some of the Land let me assure you that if you liked the Book (of books), you will love the Land!

What a country!

Shalom Pollack is an Israeli-licensed tour guide. He will be giving a lecture tour in the U.S. after Sukkot. Visit his website at shalompollacktours.co.il or e-mail him at [email protected]

UNO ad pick up

20 NATIONAL COUNCIL OF YOUNG ISRAEL NATIONAL COUNCIL OF YOUNG ISRAEL 2112 • NatioNal CouNCil of YouNg israel viewpoiNt summer 5770/2010 NatioNal CouNCil of YouNg israel viewpoiNt summer 5770/2010 • 13

are exhausted both emotionally and physically, but they’re busy entertain-ing well-meaning visitors. Give those people some space. They’re human! They need their privacy and their un-winding time – especially on that fi rst traumatic day! When you are send-ing supper to a needy family, why not spend a moment fi nding out their taste preferences? We once had an in-stance when we’ve discovered a fridge stocked with a week’s worth of suppers of meatballs and spaghetti – and those people happened to have been allergic to meatballs! What about off ering to do your friend a favor after she fi nishes sitting shiva and everyone has already forgotten about her? That’s what we try to accomplish with the Yesomim Chol Hamoed Trip! Life after the death of a loved one death is painful. Think of how you can alleviate the pain. These ideas may seem to be trivial. But that’s truly what chesed is all about. Think-

ing of the details which may be insig-nifi cant to you, but are important to the recipient and doing them right. As one Misaskim benefi ciary commented, ‘You even took my laundry to the laun-dromat to prepare my house for shiva. How can I thank you for thinking of ev-erything?!’

“And one more tip: You don’t have to start big. People have great ideas, but they think that it’s impossible for them to do it. I am overwhelmed how a small chesed initiative mushroomed into a national organization. When we started out, no one knew about Misaskim. Today, we’ve made break-throughs in Washington DC, made improvements at La Guardia, Kennedy and Newark Airports; we’ve teamed up with local and Federal agencies and become a primary go-to contact in emergency situations. Still, making it big was never our goal. We only want-ed to help people. And the better we

can do it, the happier we are!” For hundreds of people, Misaskim

makes the worst of times a little bit bet-ter. It’s not only what they do; it’s how they do it. They truly feel for you, care about you and want to help you. And that’s what chesed is all about.

A recent aveil related her experi-ence with Misaskim: “They came in and brought everything - chairs for us and chairs for visitors, a water cooler, since it was so hot and siddurim for min-yonim. They even covered the mirrors. All without any fuss, justly quickly and smoothly. They're amazing!”

Sarah Spielman, a freelance writer and published author, teaches high school language arts and runs Words of Wisdom, a private writing business. She re-sides in Lakewood, NJ.

For more information, go to: www.Misaskim.com

Call 410-417-seat (7328) or go to PickYourownseat.com

Safe & Secure program to add to your Shul’s existing web site

PickYourownseat is the easiest way for your Shul members to pick

their own seat in the Shul or Synagogue for Rosh Hashanah and/or Yom

Kippur.

PickYourownseat benefits both your shul and your members.

PickYourownseat takes up very little space on your Shul’s website.

PickYourownseat eliminates fighting over seats.

PickYourownseat is completely customizable

PickYourownseat allows for Pre-reserved VIP seats for the Rabbi, etc

PickYourownseat gives the Gabbai full control over the seats If your Shul does not have their own web

site, call us.

program to add to your Shul’s existing web siteexisting web site

their own seat in the Shul or Synagogue for Rosh Hashanah and/or Yom

allows for Pre-reserved VIP seats for the Rabbi, etc

If your Shul does not have their own web

site, call us.PickYourOwnSeat is full of great features. See foryourself how it works. Test drive it for free.

foR SHulS/SYnaGoGueS aRound tHe woRld/S


This belief in the pos-sibilities inherent in mitzvot epitomizes the view of Chava Rose, the energetic CEO of the Lenox Hill Hospital Bikur

Cholim in New York City. Twenty-two years ago Chava Rose was pursuing a successful career in the investment banking sector, evaluating new busi-ness opportunities. Using the same skills that she once employed to evalu-ate the viability of start-ups, Chava has pegged the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim as a venture with substantial gain on in-vestment.

Although Chesed is usually thought of as an act of altruism, in truth, the giver usually reaps the majority share of benefits. “In my investment bank-ing life, to invest a dollar and get a mil-

lion would have been seen as a great return. In the mitzvah of Bikur Cholim, the return is even greater. I see this as ‘the big secret,’ the degree to which doing this mitzvah enhances your own life. Bikur Cholim offers the opportuni-ty to profoundly interact with another human being in an extraordinary way that wouldn’t have presented itself in the course of ordinary life.” For those who choose to enter this world, one that often involves the sharing of suf-fering and pain, a stranger becomes an intense actor in your life, and vice versa. This miraculous kind of encounter can be transformative.

As we sat in her kitchen talking about what it means to do Bikur Cho-lim, Chava spoke from over 20 years of experience and from her own particu-lar stance of down-to-earth simplicity. And, as if punctuating her remarks, the

ringing of the Bikur Cholim line on her phone repeatedly interrupted, remind-ing us that in the world of Bikur Cholim, the urgency of human need is always present.

Chava’s commitment to Bikur Cho-lim began with a friend asking, “Would you be interested in visiting a friend who is now a patient at Lenox Hill Hos-pital?” Chava made her choice and said, “Yes”. Her positive response at that moment led to a chain of events that would change not only her own life, but the lives of countless others and would culminate in the formation of one of the most active and respected organi-zations of its kind in New York City. Todate, Bikur Cholim of Lenox Hill Inc. has provided over 1000 overnight stays for visiting family members, and countless hospital visits, as well as everything from Shabbos candles and Kiddush to

Bikur Cholimby Esther Altmann

It’s a common experience: a friend or an acquain-tance asks if you would like to do a mitzvah. What happens next? How do we respond? What if we knew that this proposal contained within it a unique opportunity - an experience that would transform you, change you for the bet-ter? What if you knew that you would have special spiritual experiences, and that you couldn’t lose, only gain?

Spiritual Investing


homemade jello for patients. As in many chesed “start-ups,” the

genesis was simple: having an aware-ness of a need and being willing to tackle the problem. That seems to be the secret of doing chesed.

“I met a nice couple that had a very specific need that I could solve: The husband needed a place to stay so that he could spend Shabbos with his sick wife. For them, it was an enormous problem, but for me, it was easy: I in-vited him to sleep on our sofa.” Prob-lem solved. For Chava, a consummate business professional used to solving practical problems, this was a situa-tion that lent itself to analysis and solu-tions. “I’m a very practical person and I saw that with little effort on my part, it was possible to resolve a problem that seemed to be insurmountable,” was her response. “It was easy to help with practical things that could relieve the feelings of helplessness and hope-lessness that often result from illness. A favorite food, bringing a siddur: such small acts of chesed were so simple to do and made such a disproportionately (to the effort required) great difference in the hospital experience of those pa-tients.”

Of course, great effort goes into the running of a Bikur Cholim organization, yet still there was the simple truth that each Bikur Cholim visit is just the meet-ing of two individuals – one who is in a position to be able to give something of himself to the other, who needs, but simultaneously contributes something precious to his visitor.

The effort is really not so over-whelming, Chava reflected, since, it seems to be built into G-d’s plan that a small outlay of energy yields a geo-

metrically enormous result. The act of “doing,” generates its own momentum. When volunteers get over their initial reluctance and shyness, the mitzvah has the power to transform the doer’s life. “Chesed changes one’s perspec-tive on life. It puts all the common daily emergencies and discomforts into per-spective. In fact, when I see couples who engage in Chesed together, their relationship exudes a special sweet-ness, since Chesed makes people espe-cially kind.”

“I have learned so much from the patients I have met over the years. Chesed is often portrayed as a burden on time and resources. People think, ‘What’s this going to take from me now?’ This is unfortunately misleading; it also turns people off. There’s a line in the morning tefillot: ‘Let our hearts be open’. Perhaps we are praying that we not be dismissive, that we not miss the opportunity of the experiences that chesed affords. The existential despair that we feel from the degree of suffer-ing we encounter in the world can be healed by doing chesed, since in your small world, you can make a mean-ingful difference in the lives of others. You accomplish something really, truly good, something objectively positive in this world. This leads to an uplift-ing and energizing feeling that feeds on itself; it’s a renewable personal re-source.”

Pirkei Avot reminds us that it is not incumbent upon us to complete the work; we are required, however, to be-gin it.

Chava Rose holds MS & MBA degrees from Co-lumbia University; she lives in New York City with her husband and daughter.

Guidelines For Successful Bikur Cholim

1. Choose an activity that you en-joy doing, and you will bring an ex-tra measure of joy to the mitzvah. Do you enjoy talking to people, or do you prefer behind-the-scenes work, like helping with the admin-istrative end of things, or prepar-ing or delivering meals? Don’t feel that you must perform a task that feels uncomfortable, since there are many facets of Bikur Cholim and all are vital mitzvot.

2. Choose a convenient venue. Ideally, your travel time should be not more than 15 minutes in each direction; Proximity to your home or job will be a huge factor in your being able to continue your par-ticipation.

3. Identify a practical act that you can perform: bring Shabbos can-dles or challahs, or an information-al card; go to make Kiddush; read a book to a child. Through a task orientation to the mitzvah, you can alleviate the fear of ‘what will I say?’ Also, there is a great sense of satisfaction in a successfully com-pleted deed.

4. Set boundaries: For any type of Chesed, resist the impulse to over-do it. This is a real ‘yetzer hara,’ as people often begin with great enthusiasm, but “burn out” after too much emotional intensity. It’s natural to become overwhelmed by the extent of the need, but that feeling can discourage further participation. Remind yourself that that particular act of chesed wouldn’t exist in the world with-out you and that boundaries really enable you to continue your work and avoid “compassion burn-out”.

Contact Lenox Hill Bikur Cholim, Inc. at 212-744-4748


Estimates today place the inci-dence of infertil-ity somewhere between 15% and as high as 24% of all couples trying

to have children, making it far from a rare occurrence. We all have many couples in our communities and shuls who are suff ering in exactly the same way as Rachel, but who may not have the opportunity or eloquence to ver-balize their pain for others to hear. It is our responsibility to sensitize ourselves to their experience and do all within our power to interact with them in an informed and appropriate manner. This may take the form of active or passive understanding, and to be helpful and sensitive, our reaction must refl ect the desires or needs of the individual cou-ple, not our concept of what they need.

While there are various explana-tions off ered for the increase of infer-tility, the new advances in treatment options have increased the awareness of the problem in today’s world. While in past years solutions were rarer, and so, discussion of the problem often did not lead to resolution, today, couples desire and deserve to avail themselves of contemporary technology that will hopefully lead to their successfully be-coming parents.

Often, in addition to medical path-ways to help, couples need someone to talk to and to confi de in, someone who can off er non-judgmental support and the opportunity to feel “normal” in the Orthodox world, where fam-ily and children form the natural back-drop of a “normal” existence. One of the most painful aspects of infertility is the feeling of being “alien” in one’s own society. When most people seem

to achieve parenthood so eff ortlessly, for the couple struggling with fertility issues, it often seems to be an unat-tainable goal that sets them apart from “regular” people.

At Puah Institute we meet couples from many diff erent places, all having a unique situation and facing their own set of diffi culties, challenges and pain, and we try, with all of our resources to address them individually as they need and deserve. On an average day, we may meet with or receive a call from a couple like Shira and Josh (not their real names). They are a success-ful, professional couple who had an ac-tive social life and many friends. They assumed that when they were ready to start a family, it would just happen. Unfortunately, that was not the case. After a year of trying, they consulted their rabbi, who sent them to Puah In-stitute. There, the rabbi they met with

InfertilityA challenge to our communityThe Torah gives powerful and moving expression to the experi-ence of the childless woman in Rachel’s heartfelt cry, “Give me children or else I will die.” Her cry penetrates the heart, and one cannot but empathize with her obvious pain and her sense of loss of meaning, facing a life lived without children. Rachel is not alone, for she is joined by the many matriarchs of the Torah and Tanach who coped with the pain of childlessness, and today by the many infertile couples who are suff ering within our own communities.

by Rabbi Gideon Weitzman


suggested a number of tests which all came back negative. Shira was becom-ing increasingly anxious and worried that she would never be a mother, and the couple’s unhappiness and concern was taking a toll on their marriage. They wondered, why them? Did G-d have some reason for punishing them this way? Were they lacking in some spiritual attribute?

Testing continued, and eventually, Josh, too, underwent testing under halachic supervision, which revealed a possible avenue for further treatment that might solve their problem. “The worst part of it,” Shira explained, “was that we felt that we had lost control over our lives. Our medical treatments determined how we had to live our lives during that period – with all the doctors’ appointments, blood tests and medications and all the rest - it was just crazy.”

“In the middle of all this, we felt

that we had lost touch with all of our friends,” Josh continued.

“Oh, yes.” Shira agreed. “All of my girlfriends were busy with their kids and babies; some were pregnant with number two or even, three. I felt dis-couraged and left out.”

“And we had no time to ourselves.What with work and the other “job” of trying to get pregnant, we never went out and were just stressed and tired all the time,” Josh added.

“When we did go out,” Shira said, “I hated it. Everyone was going on about babies and nannies and car pools. I felt like a freak, like an alien, and so when we would get invited to friends, we stopped going, since it was too pain-ful. But, at the same time, not being together with friends left us even more isolated and depressed. It was a very confusing and difficult time. Every bris we went to was a trial, and even though we tried to be happy for our friends – I

mean, we were…but we were the odd ones out, and we were just sad. ”

This conversation illustrates many of the things we hear at Puah Institute from the couples we counsel, and it raises the importance of the aware-ness and sensitivity that is needed when your friends, relatives (even your children) and neighbors are undergo-ing fertility issues. On the one hand, they don’t want to be marginalized or treated differently, and no one wants to be shunned or avoided. On the oth-er hand, they do have special needs that require some careful thinking and planning in order to avoid inadvertent-ly stepping on their tender spots or cre-ating further wounds.

While we recognize that all couples are different and therefore, all react dif-ferently to their fertility situation, there are some general guidelines that apply in most situations. If you were friendly with a person before their infertility

SHMORG 2The

Free with your $36 Donation

1.877.7. AUCTIONwww.oorah.org

EternityYaakov Shwekey

Fiveish Live InspirationRabbi Moshe T. Lieff

The Living TorahA. Torah Animal World B. Artifacts from the Mishnah

The Mashal Man

Marvelous Middos Machine Vol.3My Zaidy

Disc 2 - Audio

Disc 1 -


became an issue, there is absolutely no reason to sever your relationship just because you are pregnant and they are not. It will just require a degree of sen-sitivity, no diff erent from many other personal interactions (i.e., your friend just lost her job, and you’re making a great salary). For example, it may not be appropriate to invite this friend (or couple) to a gathering where everyone is pregnant or has little kids, where they may feel out of place, or worse, feel their situation in a more painful way. Inviting them alone or with a mix-ture of other couples or people may be one solution.

Many people ask us at Puah Insti-tute if they should raise the issue of fertility, treatments and the challenges the situation presents with a childless couple. There is no clear answer to this question; some couples are very open and wish to discuss the issue with oth-ers, while others are legitimately much more private and reserved, or even closed to the topic. Our advice, then, is to always let the couple take the lead. Depending on your relationship with them, your position, your experience and your own personal experience, it may be fi tting to broach the subject cautiously and give them the chance to open up or to curtail the conversation as they wish.

Is it a kindness or an added burden

to off er a childless couple the honor of “kvater” at your child’s bris? You may want to ask a close friend to fi eld the off er for you to determine whether this is a welcome off er or not.

It is also essential to remember that these couples devote a large amount of their time to treatment and need time to do other normal activities. “The rab-bi at Puah Institute asked us how much time we spend together doing things that we enjoy.” Shira and Josh look at each other when they remember their answer: “Not enough.”

“The rabbi told us to use this time to spend some good quality time to-gether, not going to the doctor, not taking medicine, just relaxing and hav-ing fun. It was the best advice.” While it did not solve their fertility problem, it did make them better, calmer, happier, and therefore better able to partake in and benefi t from treatment.

A childless couple is not a pariah, although they may feel like they are; dealing with them is not so hard – just try to imagine yourself in their shoes; and remember that your love and friendship go a long way in eas-ing a very painful and trying situation that happens to many members of our families and communities, and yet is exquisitely hurtful in our society where family is primary.

This story had a positive result: the

second IVF treatment worked and Shira and Josh and their beautiful daughter Rachel are a joyful new family.

Rabbi Gideon Weitzman is Director of Puah Insti-tute. He received rabbinical ordination from the Chief Rabbinate of Israel. He is a Visiting Associate Professor at Albert Einstein School of Medicine.

The Puah Institute (Poriut U’Refuot Al Pi HaHalacha – Fertility and Medicine in Accordance with Hala-cha) was established 20 years ago in Jerusalem by Rabbi Menachem Burstin, under the guidance of Rabbi Mordechai Eliahu, zt”l. It is currently a world center for questions related to reproductive issues of all kinds.

Puah Institute has a highly trained staff of rabbis with expertise in the latest trends in reproductive medicine and the application of halacha to the wide spectrum of issues connected to it. Their services include a worldwide network of experts to provide supervision over the technical procedures involved in reproductive medicine, to ensure that no mistakes are made in these highly sensitive matters.

The Puah Institute also off ers educational outreach, including classes on the latest medical develop-ments to rabbis, on the halachic ramifi cations of treatment to medical professionals and to chattan and kallah teachers and the general public.

Puah Institute off ers an online guide for couples at www.jewishfertilityonline.org as well as informa-tion on their regular web site www.puahonline.org.

Their main offi ce is in Jerusalem, with branches in New York, Los Angeles, Paris and Australia.

New York offi ce: 718-336-0603.Jerusalem offi ce: 02-653-6786 or 02-651-7515

Students save more in 2010-11 than ever before!Your phone in Israel should be a Talk’n’Save phone.

100,000 phones rented out

150 student programs

100,000 phones rented out

150 student150 student150

programs

100,000,000 calls connected


When Shosha-na Green-baum and her unborn child were m u r d e r e d in the 2001

Jerusalem Sbarro Pizza terror bomb-ing, her sudden, horrifi c death struck a devastating blow to her husband, Shm-uel that could have paralyzed his life. Instead, he was inundated by kindness extended by people he knew and by complete strangers, all desperately de-siring to assuage his unbearable pain.

He recalls that, “During the tra-ditional week of mourning, close to a thousand people came to comfort me. Hundreds of them were students, parents and friends whose lives were enriched by my wife in so many diff er-ent ways. They told me how she had comforted them by telling them that

‘There is good in every bad.’ And so it is – in tragedy, there is opportunity to reach out to others and to turn some-thing “bad” into something good and meaningful.”

In the wake of this nightmare expe-rience, Greenbaum found the strength to refl ect on the immense power and eff ect of the human wave of chesed that fl owed over him, for it literally pulled him from the brink of despair. He wondered, what if this power of goodness could be harnessed? With the assistance of good friends, he set about to do just that.

Greenbaum’s response was less a reaction to her death than it was an affi rmation of her life. Shoshana had devoted her life to teaching children, not only educating them with facts, but instilling in them basic values of humanity – kindness, self-esteem and respect for others. With his project,

Greenbaum would extend this phi-losophy outward to the world at large, asking people to become “partners in kindness.”

Just as human ingenuity can con-ceive of the horrors of suicide terror, hu-man beings so too, can use their imagi-nation for good, and so Greenbaum challenged people to notice goodness in their daily lives and to share their observations with the world. He asked them to learn about kindness and prac-tice goodness in any of the countless ways that humans can conceive of reaching out to one another. All sorts of people responded to his challenge and continue to respond across conti-nents and across national and religious divides.

Partners in Kindness began with anemail newsletter, “A Daily Dose of Kind-ness” that was distributed to a rela-tively small number of friends and rela-

The

Ripple Effect of Chesed

By esther altmann

It is an accepted truism that we have little or no choice in what happens to us; our only choice is how we will respond. Shmuel Greenbaum responded to evil with a wave of goodness that transforms the daily lives of people all over the world.


tives fi lled with stories of kindness. The objective was for people to do a kind deed each day and report it back to Greenbaum. He would then edit their story and reproduce in in the newslet-ter to complete the circle of inspiration.

After this was underway, Green-baum and company (his community friends who joined in the project) added a second component – “Kind Words” – which was syndicated around the world and included, in addition to stories, scientifi c insights on kindness and techniques of how to practice and instill kindness.

Greenbaum has identifi ed six prac-tical goals for “Partners in Kindness”:

1. Inspire the world with stories of heroes and role models that display kindness.

2. Incorporate the stories into a structured approach to seeing oppor-tunities to do kindness.

3. Create a method to reinforce the practice of kindness using TV and speaking commercials with emotional stories from celebrities about how an act of kindness changed their lives.

4. Design programs for schools to teach kindness.

5. Design programs for employers to teach kindness.

6. Design programs for government agencies to teach kindness.

Perhaps some of these goals may strain our realistic expectations, but the ideas resonate; people’s receptiv-ity to the simple stories of kindness is amazing. People obviously enjoy read-ing about the goodness of their fellow humans, are inspired and then relay these missives around the planet, and the tales gain momentum as they go.

Greenbaum was himself surprised to receive some of the feedback he has gotten, from people who are Jew-ish and Christian, believers and athe-ists – all of whom share their infatua-tion with goodness and altruism. There is the woman in the Philippines who forwards the stories to every email list in her country, the teacher in Texas who includes the emails in the classes she teaches in women’s prisons and the Evangelical couple who make 70

photocopies for the members of their church who don’t have email.

Partners in Kindness is growing exponentially; in fi gures which are al-ready outdated, it has been translated into eight languages and reaches 1.5 million readers on six continents. It seems that in spite of the frightening outbreaks of violence and hate that

continue unabated, the forces of good are still in good feisty spirits.

One of the tenets of Rabbi Green-baum’s philosophy is that the practice of chesed can be learned, that people can be empowered to do good, re-gardless of their background. In the spirit of that belief, he has constructed a classroom curriculum with the goal

PROTECT YOUR SYNAGOGUE AGAINST LOSSIt’s never been easier and more fl exible.

Anderson Krause Insurance and the Utica National Companies offer an insurance package that can be custom designed to provide

the coverage your synagogue needs at a very competitive price

Available from: Anderson-Krause Insurance P.O.Box 110, Branford, CT 06405 • 1-800-956-5660 fax. 203-488-1738

for further information call:National Council of Young Israel • 212-929-1525

PEWS

SANCTUARY DESIGN

SYNAGOGUE FURNISHINGS

MECHITZAS

DONOR RECOGNITION

HOLOCAUST MEMORIALS

ACCESSIBILITY DESIGN

PRESENTATIONS – Synagogue Arts & FurnishingsTel: 914-668-8181 Fax: 914-668-4044

Email: [email protected] Web: WWW.SYNAGOGUEFURNISHINGS.COM

Creative Solutions

for Your Synagogue

NEW PEW DESIGNS• Straight or Curved Layouts• Continuous or Individual Seats• Always Customized for Your Space• Value Engineered for 10 year warranty

6055-PG Viewpoint Ad.p4 7/8/10 3:38 PM Page 1


of “inspiring young people to have dreams for the future and to give them confidence and the skills they need to pursue those dreams.” Ironically, this program is most useful in communities where children live in an environment of poverty and violence. Research in-dicates one of the most useful tools in turning troubled kids around is em-powering them to help others.

First, the goals must be established:the primary goal is to impart the idea that dreams for the future are impor-tant. Next, young people must be shown that their dreams can be real-ized. They need to understand and be-lieve that they can make a difference. All of these ideas and beliefs will pro-vide them with hope – the invaluable ingredient that many lack.

The proposed curriculum includes units that teach usable skills that will enable the students to translate theory in practice. Therefore, it includes read-

ing, writing, social networking and in-ternet filmmaking – skills to transform dreams into reality.

Participants in this program will be required to read from appropriate texts, such as “Pay it Forward” and “A Daily Dose of Kindness” and view in-spiring films, such as “Awakenings” .

Will it work? Can the practice of chesed be taught? Shmuel Greenbaum believes that it will and can, and he de-votes much of his time to proving it. In his experience, kindness is catching and a chain reaction of awareness and commitment follow the consistent dis-semination of stories of human kind-ness and relationship.

In the face of enormous brutality and evil Shmuel Greenbaum didn’t lose faith in humanity; instead, he invested his faith in people and their potential to learn and practice goodness. He initi-ated the project that he calls “Partners in Kindness,” a real example of Tikun

Olam that touches so many and ac-cording to the thousands of commu-nications he receives from all kinds of people the world over, affects the lives of many for the good.

May Shoshana’s life be a continuing blessing to the world.

For more information, to subscribe to the email list or to contribute your per-sonal story of kindness to be included,

contact Partners In Kindness at: www.PartnersInKindness.org

You may purchase “A Daily Dose of Kindness – Stories From the Heart – A Response to Terror “ through the web

site or from Amazon.com

Young Israel

ErEtz HaCHaim

CEmEtEryNear Jerusalem

Single or Family Plots

Contact:rabbi Yehudah Prero6715 Western Run Drive

Baltimore, MD 21215410-358-5467

[email protected]

In association with The Council of

Young Israel Rabbis in Israel


SHMORG 2The

Free with your $36 Donation

1.877.7. AUCTIONwww.oorah.org

EternityYaakov Shwekey

Fiveish Live InspirationRabbi Moshe T. Lieff

The Living TorahA. Torah Animal World B. Artifacts from the Mishnah

The Mashal Man

Marvelous Middos Machine Vol.3My Zaidy

Disc 2 - Audio

Disc 1 -


Client/Job#: ELA1000x Operator: tsPublication: Viewpoint Trim size: 7.25 x 9.75Issue Date: Summer Bleed: N/AContact: MArc Pascucci - [email protected] Safety: 1/4 inch

212-685-8899

SkyWordsWithELAL.com EL AL Israel Airlines USA ELALUSA www.elal.com

For over 60 years, EL AL Israel Airlines has been the number one airline to trust. From the moment you book to the time you arrive, you’ll feel secure knowing that only EL AL offers the technological innovations and in-flight amenities that are the envy of all other airlines.

Plus, only EL AL is able to offer you the warmth, hospitality, and professionalism of our Israeli crew. Your visit to Israel begins the moment you board EL AL, the national airline of Israel.For more details, visit www.elal.com or call 800-223-6700 or any travel agent.

The world’s most trusted airline.

THE MOST NONSTOP FLIGHTS TO TEL AVIV FROM NEW YORK (JFK/NEWARK) AND THE ONLY NONSTOP FLIGHTS FROM LOS ANGELES, IN ADDITION TO NONSTOP FLIGHTS FROM TORONTO

ELA100xx_Viewpoint.indd 1 6/24/10 11:13:04 AM

the world is built with kindness - partners in...

Documents