The Sultan Who Loved

Sheep

One day Jimminez, the mighty Sultan of Faminto por Sangue came

to visit his harem, looking very sad and

dejected.

Madmae asked him, “Why do ye look so forsaken, yer majesty?”

“I would like to pay tribute to me hearties the Black Sheep Brigade,” the Sultan replied.

Not THOSE Black Sheep!

There ye go…That’s more like it!

“But what can I give them that they don’t already have?”

mused the Sultan. “They are some of the best

navigators and pillagers in the Midnight Ocean, they dress in

black & gold, they have MASSIVE piles of PoE and an

enormous ‘flet’…not to mention they’re completely insane.”

“Well my king,” said Bloodymarie, “many have long coveted yer most

prized possession…

perhaps offering the Sheep time with yer lovely

harem…”

“ARRRGG! An excellent idea!” cried Jimminez, “I shall let the BSB royals take their

portrait with which ever members of my harem they

choose.”

Don’t get any bright ideas Sheep – yer the ones with all the PoE, these are on

yer doubloon!

“But alas, ‘tis not a fitting enough tribute to King Stuysevant and his court, we must do more,”

worried the Sultan.

“I have heard Prince

Dustybottom tell tales of his big chest…perhaps he would donate it for our cause”

suggested Elfgirl.

 

Not THAT Chest!

THIS Chest!

“And I know that Dusty also likes to

show off his big stick,” winked

Gloriana.

NO! Not THAT Stick Either! Get yer mind out of the gutter!

Not THAT Stick!

“I think he should offer to

duel Prince Rummykins to pay homage to

skillz of the Sheep.”

Now that’s a Big Stick!

“Lord Yrag told me that Prince Dchow

desires a custom bed,”

remarked Bellalynn.

“While we can only make blue beds now, maybe someday – when the gods allow – we can

give him free labor at yer furnisher on the bed of his

dreams…”

“Wait!” cried Esperetta, “I would like to offer myself on a silver

platter, covered in cookies, pudding and peanut-butter cups for the

Sheep to feast upon.”

Image censored

due to disturbing content

No REALLY, You don’t want to see it.

“Uh…that’s a fine idea Espy, yer sacrifice for

the good of the flag will be noted,” remarked

the Sultan as he shook his head and rolled his

eyes.

So the Sultan went to visit the Brigade, bearing with him gifts and offers of service. The Sheep were so impressed with the celebrated Famintos, they gifted the Sultan with the isle of Orca in reward.

The Sultan being humbled by such a generous gift, vowed to the Sheep, "In honor of yer generosity, I shall

establish the Faminto PvP League.”

“Every month on the isle of Orca, we will host a sinking

PvP sloop battle. We will create two perpetually

warring flags for this purpose – with crews named in honor

of the glubbing we guarantee: Titanic and

Lusitania.”

“Participants will pay a nominal fee to join the crews and man the

stations or navigate the ship in these themed contests. We will

provide the sloops, appropriately stocked with rum and shot.”

Brains vs. Brawn Great Taste vs. Less Filling

NKoTB vs. BSBHatfields vs. McCoys

“Pirates will either sink (and suffer potential maimings), or claim bragging rights in that

months challenge. We will make use of Orca’s monger for

supplies, and even provide for post boom-boom tournaments and access to commemorative

portraits on the island.”

Ceylon, the Sultan’s

favorite added, “My love, we could even

make the first contest a Black Sheep grudge

match…”

“…naming sloops after the most boisterous of

the BSB royals – Stuyvesant, Bendeall and Rummykins – and

letting them shoot each other til the ocean swallows them.”

“Aye Lady Cey,” beamed the Sultan, “we can have the ships named for the

crazy roommates battle it out first, then the winner will fight the Rummykins ship. And for the winning

ship’s namesake…”

“Ooooh, I know! I know!” shouted the pink-clad Esperetta.

“Whoever’s ship wins will get their choice of keepsake to remember

the BSB’s stomping face on Orca and their profitable occupation for all these months.”

“I have just the prize…” smirked Espy, “they can

choose between two cinematic

treasures…”

“But what keepsake would be appropriate

for such a feat?” asked the eunuch Repentant.

Yep we really will send you

one!

The EndWe are just

getting started!!!

Scratch that!

Much Better!

Conceived and hatched by Ceylon

Photo mutilation by Jimminez

Sick & Twisted Ideas by the nutcases of Faminto

por Sangue

Horny Sheep played by Jimminez

((Applause))