the sentinella, costa west edition. april / may 2010

The Little Mag that fits in your bag...

Costa West Edition

April / May 2010

Nº22

BE SEEN … i n R i v i e r a D e l S o l , C a l a h o n d a , C a b o p i n o , Elvir i a , Rosario, Marbel la ,

Puer to Banus, Nueva Andaluc ia , San Pedro, Guadalmina, B e n a v i s t a , Cancelada,

E s t e p o n a , C a s a res, Sabin i l las, La D u q u e s a , M a n i l v a , To r r e g u a d i a r o , S o t o g r a n d e ,

P u e b l o N u e v o , L a A l c a i d e s a , S a n R o q u e , B e n a h a v i s & R o n d a .

The Sentinella

FREE

Don´t forget that all the regular jokes &

funnies are found in all sections of the

mag ...

Gardening Poem, Natural Pools, Is your

pool safe?...

Personal Wellness, SOS Skincare, Health

Q&A, The Best of Marbella...

Twin Geeks, Has your home in Spain

been affected by recent storms? What is

Remote Support ...

Marbella Netball Club, Team Mari,

Tee Time Anyone? Costa Gaels...

Ronda Today , Hotel Bandolero ...

Fame Games Teen Page, Wordsearch ...

ADANA update, Are you and your dog

speaking the same language? ...

Book Review, Tarot-scope, Cocktail

Recipe, Name that Song, Puzzle page...

Post It Here, The Sentinella Business

Pages, Information Page ...

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to

Colin Checkley, the founder and editor

of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest

in peace. (Born: 1960 Died: 2004)

Well, hello there, did you miss us?

It feels like such a long time since I last

wrote this column. Even though it

seemed like a little holiday at the start,

I think you will see that we have been

really busy…

Your new bi-monthly, Sentinella CostaWest Edition is jam packed with even

more than before. We have some great

new contributors who will be giving you

advice on subjects from keeping healthy,

looking good, improving your homes and

gardens to understanding your pets.

Our advertisers all offer the best quality

services and products at very affordable

prices. If in doubt, just give them a call

and find out for yourself and please do

remember to tell them where you saw

their ads.

Spring is here and Summer is just around

the corner so I have been out discovering

some of the different sporting activities

there are in the area. I have recently

joined Marbella Netball Club (see pg 24)

and am about to learn to play golf… why

not come and join me?

If you fancy a day trip or even a weekend

away, why not pop up to Juzcar or

Ronda? They have so much to offer and

are only 40 minutes from Marbella ...get

up there before all the summer tourists

arrive!

Remember that our next Issue will be out

at the end of May for June/July so send

in any requests for Summer articles or

your favorite silly jokes by email to

[email protected]

Home & Garden ... pg 5-11

Health & Beauty ... pg 12-17

Business Services ... pg 18-23

Sports & Activities ... pg 24-27

Animals & Pets ... pg 32-33

Out & About ... pg 28-29

K ids & Teens ... pg 30-31

Entertainment ... pg 34-43

General pages ... pg 44 -47

A Taste of What´s Inside ...

From the

ED ...

Enjoy !

Join our Fan Page

“The Sentinella, Costa West Edition”

Follow us on

@costawest

CONTACT US ...

608 840 692

[email protected]

Editor & Sales:

Distribution & Sales:

Original Artwork:

Lisa Sadleir

Ed Sadleir

Mick Elliot

[email protected]

Deposito Legal

MA-333-2008

No part of this publication, including pic-

tures may be copied, used or reproduced

without our prior written consent. TheSentinella accepts no responsibility for

alterations to events listed, claims made

by our advertisers or information

provided by our contributors. So there!

www.costawest.thesentinella.com

In Times of Crisis ...

Why Pay Tabloid Prices?

Choose The Sentinella

4

The Wedding Test...

I was a very happy man. My wonderful

girlfriend and I had been dating for over

a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering

me...It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-

two, wore very tight miniskirts, and

generally was bra-less. She would

regularly bend down when she was near

me, and I always got more than a nice

view. It had to be deliberate. Because

she never did it when she was near any-

one else.

One day her 'little' sister called and

asked me to come over to check the

wedding invitations. She was alone when

I arrived, and she whispered to me that

she had feelings and desires for me that

she couldn't overcome.

She told me that she wanted me just

once before I got married and committed

my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say

a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my

bedroom, and if you want one last wild

fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I

watched her go up the stairs. I stood there

for a moment, then turned and made a

beeline straight to the front door. I opened

the door, and headed straight towards my

car.

Lord... and behold, my entire future family

was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law

hugged me and said, 'We are very happy

that you have passed our little test. We

couldn't ask for a better man for our

daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

Thanks Patrick !

H o m

e & G

a r d e n

6

H o

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nGardening Poem

by: Peter

My Wife the Gardener

She dug the plot on Monday –

the soil was rich and fine,

She forgot to thaw out dinner –

so we went out to dine…

She planted roses Tuesday –

she says they are a must,

They really are quite lovely

but she quite forgot to dust.

On Wednesday it was daisies –

they opened up with sun,

All whites and pinks and yellows –

but the laundry wasn’t done…

The poppies came on Thursday -

a bright and cherry red,

I guess she really was engrossed –

she never made the bed…

It was violets on Friday –

in colours she adores,

It never bothered her at all –

all crumbs upon the floors…

I hired a maid on Saturday –

my week is now complete,

My wife can garden all she wants –

the house will still be neat!

It’s nearly lunchtime Sunday –

and I cannot find the maid,

Oh no! I don’t believe it!

She’s out there WITH THE SPADE!

What’s the difference betweenthese pools?

Actually they are the

same pool, just before

and after pictures of a

Biotop Natural Pool

conversion. The

owners decided that

their existing pool

wasn’t in keeping with

their garden and wanted something that

blended into the landscape rather than

detract from it.

What is a Biotop Natural Swimming

Pool?

Biotop were developed in Austria over

20 years ago. They use nature's natural

ability to purify the swimming water

rather than chemicals,

so the water is clean,

fresh and thus won't

cause allergies

The pools are made up

of two major parts; the

swimming area and

the planted area.

These are equally

proportioned. The

planted section is then split into two

parts; deep planting – water lilies and

oxygenating plants, and shallow

planting – bulrushes, irises, water hy-

acinths, etc.

Can any pool be converted?

Yes! If you have an existing pool that is

old, tired, even cracked it can be

transformed into a Natural Pool quite

easily. The existing swimming area can

be either retained or

wholly or partially trans-

formed into the planting

zones, and then an

additional swimming

area constructed. The

swimming and planting

areas can be located

next to each other or in

completely separate parts of your

garden. There are however a few things

that will dictate the final pool design

when considering a pool conversion.

As an existing pool will already have a

predetermined shape, that will affect the

final shape of the Natural pool, but it is

still possible to create a truly amazing

Natural pool, provid-

ing there is room to

do so.

Because Natural

pools heat up faster

than traditional

pools, they are

generally deeper, so

converting a pool

that is shallow may

mean adding additional planting on the

southern side of your pool, or building a

deck out over part of the water, to cast

shadow over the water.

.

Natural Pools are now available in Spain

from Lake Pools España S.L.

www.naturalpools-espana.com

Tel: 617 176 543

Tel: 617 176 543www.naturalpools-españ[email protected]

Before

After

Before

After

H o m

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H o

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8

An Englishman, a Frenchman

and an Irishman were in a pub

talking about their children.

"My son was born on St George's Day,"

remarked the Englishman, "So we

obviously decided to call him George."

"That's a real coincidence," observed the

Frenchman, "My daughter was born on

Valentine's Day, so we decided to call her

Valentine."

"That's really incredible," drawled the

Irishman, "Exactly the same thing

happened with my son Pancake."

Paddy was a country boy, he had

never been to Dublin. One day he

decided to walk into Wexford and catch

the bus to Dublin. Duly the bus arrived

and Paddy asked the conductor for a re-

turn ticket. 'A return to where?' asked

the conductor'. 'Why back here of

course' said Paddy.

A wife was making a breakfastof fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly,

her husband burst into the kitchen.

'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL!

Put more butter in! Oh my gosh! You're

cooking too many at once. TOO MANY!

Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need

more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we

going to get MORE BUTTER? They're

going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I

said be CAREFUL!

You NEVER listen to me when you're

cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your

mind? Don't forget to salt them. You

know you always forget to salt them. Use

the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The

wife just stared at him.

'What in the world is wrong with you? You

think I don't know how to fry a couple of

eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just

wanted to show you what it feels like

when I'm driving.'

Is your Pool Safe?

Children are naturally drawn to water. It can

take less than two minutes for a child to

drown. Help prevent the tragic loss of life by

erecting a pool safety fence.

French law (likely to be adopted in Spain)

states that all pools should be equipped

with a safety fence and gate. You can be

fined up to €220,000 for non-compliance.

Under Spanish law - If the unthinkable

happens, the property owner is liable. If you

rent your property it is your responsibility to

help keep your guests safe.

Increase bookings - A villa owner in

Fuerteventura increased 2009 bookings by

150% by installing a fence; it easily paid

for itself in one season.

For a FREE survey, contact:

Advasol Solutions

951 965 309/664 871 133

www.advasolsolutions.com.

H o m

e & G

a r d e n

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4

H o

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nglass of Guinness with a whisky chaser.

She smoked her first cigarette in 1940 -

and estimates that she's gone through

over half-a-million since then.

Mrs Gobey, who has 27 grandchildren,

55 great grandchildren and 12 great-

great grandchildren, toasted her birthday

at her local Labour Club with her

favourite tipple.

Ghosts for sale online

Two bottles said to contain the spirits of

ghosts exorcised from a house in New

Zealand have been put up for sale on an

online auction site.

The lot, 'Two Captured Ghosts,' reached

a top price of nearly £200 on TradeMe,

New Zealand's equivalent of eBay.

The seller claims the spirits were

captured by an exorcist from a spiritual

church at a property in Christchurch.

"We have had no paranormal activity

since they were bottled last July," the

seller said. "I believe they’re in the

bottles."

Strange News ...

Gardener to sail in giant pumpkin

An award-winning vegetable gardener is

planning to sail to the Isle of Man in a

giant pumpkin.

Medwyn Williams, 67, of Llanfairpwll, is

growing a 725kg pumpkin to be his boat

in a stunt to raise money for charity.

The walls of his pumpkin vessel with be

15cm thick and it will be fitted with a

seat and outboard motor.

Mr Williams said "I am totally confident

this can be done. I have done tests with

smaller pumpkins and they float well."

Centenarian’s longevity down to cigs

and booze

A 100-year-old Gloucestershire woman

believes her longevity may be down to

cigarettes and alcohol.

Lorna Gobey, of Cheltenham, smokes 20

cigarettes a day and regularly enjoys a

10

H o m

e & G

a r d e n

Apex Chimney Services S.C.

Professional Chimney Sweeping, Fault Detection, Nest Removal, Smoke Testing.

Qualified, Reliable and Fully Insured.

Tel: 696 320 202

Email [email protected]

The whole truth and nothing

but ...

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does

it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it

affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us

an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter

has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, "isn't it true that

when a person dies in his sleep, he

doesn't know about it until the next

morning?"

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar

exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-

year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your

picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you kidding me?

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a

different attorney.

Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage

terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it

terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess

4

Are your New Year resolutions

a distant memory? Is the beach

season arriving to fast? Are you using

the Easter bunny to tempt you off track?

Panic not ... Personal wellness is here to

help. Here, I aim to give you a few quick,

realistic and easy changes that we can

all do to make us feel better and look

better.

Personal wellness is not just about

weight, blood pressure and stress. Well-

ness is an active process that allows

people to make positive choices in

creating and maintaining a healthy

lifestyle and sense of wellbeing.

Have you ever stopped to think why you

make these choices? Probably not! If you

have a bad day, stressful time, family

worries or even just an ‘off day’, all of

these can affect your wellbeing creating

a void which most people subconsciously

fill will food, quite literally.

So this issue I ask you to think in times

of feeling blue, grab a snack that’s

healthy better still go for a walk, even if

it is raining! When was the last time you

went out in the rain and got drenched on

purpose? Hold onto your childhood;

remember how you did not care about

the rain when you were a child? Go out

with the kids and splash in puddles.

Have a fruit day once a month, an excel-

lent idea if you have young children

around. A simple step, eat nothing but

fruit for 1 day a month. Think when was

the last time you ate

kiwi, grapes, pineap-

ple, strawberries or

even a humble ba-

nana. This encourages

good habits and awak-

ens your love for fruit. Plus you should

have lots left over, so no excuses.

Fad exercises are usually hard to keep

up, so try to pick an activity you enjoy

and make it part of your daily or weekly

routine, that way you're much more likely

to stick with it.

If you think you need a hand to help you

stick to your new active lifestyle, try

asking yourself the following questions

(write down your answers to help you to

think about them):

1. What sort of activity do I enjoy doing?

2. What good will it do me?

3. When and how often will I do it?

4. What may stop me from doing it?

5. How will I keep going towards my goal?

6. What help do I need from other people

to do this?

It's a good idea to do an activity with a

friend or relative, having the extra support

might just help you stick to your plan.

Good luck. Keep inspired remember to

love you, and stay well!

H e

a l t h

&

B

e a

u t y

by Deb Tel: 688 678 655

www.staywellpersonalwellness.com

12

A woman came home, screeching

her car into the driveway, and ran into

the house. She slammed the door and

shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey,

pack your bags. I won the lottery!'

The husband said, 'Oh my God! What

should I pack, beach stuff or mountain

stuff?'

'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'

Out of Winter and into Spring

Skincare SOS

The sun may be shining and your mood

may be lifting, but as the cold winter

months give way to springtime, your skin

is most likely still suffering the effects of

harsh temperatures and indoor heating.

But never fear, we have come up with

our Top Five DO’s and DON’Ts to help you

care for tired skin...

1. DO exfoliate once a week. Massage a

gentle scrub in circular motions over

your face and neck, taking care to avoid

the sensitive eye area

2. DO use an eye cream every day, even

if you don’t think you need it! Think of it

as a prevention rather than a cure

3. DON’T leave the house without sun

protection! Even when it’s cloudy you

are still exposed to the sun’s dangerous

rays, so always wear at least a factor 30.

4. DO moisturize. Add some nourishment

to your skin and use a cream with sun

protection in it, and some petroleum jelly

for dry, chapped lips

5. DON’T forget that what goes into your

body affects the skin as much as what

goes onto your body. Keep your skin soft

and hydrated by drinking at least eight

glasses of water a day

One of the best things you can do for

your skin is put it in the hands of a

professional, so why not enjoy a relaxing

and nourishing facial with one of the

trained beauticians at The Works Hair

and Beauty.

For further advice and a

FREE consultation, call 952 836 899.

The Works, Centro Commercial Contur

Elviria, Marbella Tel: 952 836 899

www.theworksmarbella.com

For all your hair,beauty and massage

requirements

The Works has a complete list of hair

and beauty treatments from cutting

and colouring, through to beauty

treatments like facials, waxing, eyes

and nails to name but a few.

They also have a dedicated masseuse

to attend to those tired muscles

leaving you feeling both relaxed and

refreshed.

H e a l t h &

B e a u t y

414

Alternative Beauty Therapies ...

You can say the world is shallow and vainthese days, what with our fake tans andbreast implants, but the truth is, we've al-ways been that way.

In fact, when you see the lengths towhich people used to go to make them-selves look or smell a little better, itmakes Botox look downright rational.

Bird Poop Facials....

The Geisha facial is an ancient beautysecret so awesome, it's been broughtback to the present so modern womencan experience it. Experience what, youask? Why, having the poop of a nightin-gale spackled on their face, of course.

Guanine is a chemical that does wondersfor the complexion and poop is a wickedsource of it (hence the word guano). Howanyone discovered the value of a facesmeared in bird poop is unclear, butapparently it's been around long enoughthat Japanese kabuki performers and

Geisha used to swear by it. And now youtoo can pay about €180 to have astranger put poop on your face onpurpose... On purpose!

Naturally, bird poop isn't for everyone. Sothank God for ingenuity, as some craftylady named Diane Irons hasassured everyone that kittylitter is pretty much the exactsame stuff they'll put on yourface at a regular spa. So reallyall you need to do to acquirethe ingredients for the perfectcomplexion is train your pet bird to poopin the litter box.

Watch this space for many more money

saving beauty tips .. TEE HEE!

H e

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&

B

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SPRAY TANWAXING

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IN THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME

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For appointments contact JoannaTel: +34 637 444 136

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m

An Irishman was terribly over-

weight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

“I want you to eat regularly for 2 days,

then skip a day, and repeat this proce-

dure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you,

you should have lost at least 5 pounds.”

When the Irishman returned, he shocked

the doctor by having lost nearly 60

pounds!

“Why, that's amazing!” the doctor said,

“Did you follow my instructions?”

The Irishman nodded... “I'll tell you

though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to

drop dead on dat 3rd day.”

“From the hunger, you mean?” asked the

doctor.

“No, from the freekin' skippin ...”

Health Q & A

Welcome to our new Q & A Section

where we will be answering all your

questions on health and spinal matters

Please email your questions to:

[email protected]

Q: I have a herniated disc and sciatica

down my leg. My GP tells me I need an

operation and that chiropractic would

be too dangerous for me. Is that true?

A: If you have sciatic pain you should

initially look to the least invasive

therapy for help - chiropractic. These

are the Spine/Nerve specialists.

Your chiropractor should take standing

X-rays to determine the cause and then

explain how the situation can be

resolved in a clear, rational way that you

completely understand.

Some surgeries have poor results and

really should be the last thing you

consider.

The earlier it is dealt with, the more

complete the likely recovery. It is

probable that a period of rehabilitation

will be necessary as real changes need

to be made.

This should include gentle spinal

manipulation, precise lumbo-pelvic

traction and home exercise.

A functional problem certainly needs a

functional solution!

Tim Errington BSc DC (EEUU)

Marbella Chiropractic

952 880 398

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H e a l t h &

B e a u t y

For more information on these companies and many more,

log onto... www.thebestofmarbella.com

for requests, email ... [email protected]

The Best of Our...

HEALTH &

BEAUTY SPECIALISTS(Part Three)

H e

a l t h

&

B

e a

u t y

Wellbeing Through Technology

Belvida offers a range of health and beauty products made

with the newest technologies, an innovative vision clamada-

mente. To have a healthy body we have to have healthy cells.

Biotechnology manages to transform a substrate, creating active and also very pure, effective,

high-value cosmetic and where no animal waste or animal toxins, which can cause rejection in

our skin.

Through this process of transformation biocultivos, achieves a high-tech cosmetics, are valued.

They also have a high cost, due to the complex process of development and selection of high

quality raw materials, thus, regenerate tissues comparable to human skin.

Commercial Department Mobilel: +34 647 83 56 31

[email protected] http://www.belvida.es/http://thebestofmarbella.blogspot.com/2009/05/bela-vida-retipalm.html

Cindy's Beauty Therapy Academy was established in

1986 to provide the highest standard of Beauty Therapy education.

We take a great deal of pride in our class development and teaching because the credibility of

YOUR QUALIFICATIONS relies upon our standards.

When we issue Diplomas or Certificates and sign our names, it reflects that YOU have reached

a standard of technique and are able to offer the benefit of that education to your clients.

At Cindy's Beauty Therapy Academy your Certificate or Diploma is not automatically issued, but

only after the successful completion of an entire course.

After the completion of the course, career opportunities are endless. From home visiting,

working on cruise ships (like Steiner where we provide highly qualified staff), spas, beauty

salons, or to the ultimate dream of most therapists - owning your own salon.

Cindys Beauty Therapy Academy: "Train with the best": Cindy BrownUrb. Manilva Beach,N340, KM 142

Tel: 952 893 530 Mobile: 600 315 471E-mail: [email protected] www.cindysbta.com

http://thebestofmarbella.blogspot.com/2009/04/cindys-beauty-therapy-academy-train.html

16

Entries from hospital patients

charts...

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of

suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at

another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but

her husband states she

was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on

her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better

and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying con-

stantly. She also appears to be de-

pressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since

she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without

permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year

old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and

anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined,

x-rated and sent home...

.... aaaaaaaaaaaaarrggghhhh!

H e a l t h &

B e a u t y

418

Last Monday (the day that we announced the story on the radio) was the 15th March,

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B u s i n e s s S

e r v i c e s

20

Some great shorts from our

mate Tommy Cooper ...

Two blondes walked into a building; you'd

think at least one of them would have

seen it.

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing

only cling-film for shorts. The shrink says,

'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

I went to buy some camouflage trousers

the other day but I couldn't find any.

I went to the butchers and bet him 200

quid that he couldn't reach the meat off

the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are

too high.'

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A

strong currant pulled him in.

A man came round in hospital after a

serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor,

doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor

replied, 'Relax, they're still there; I've

amputated your arms....'

Went to a seafood disco last week...and

pulled a muscle.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were

freezing cold. They lit a fire in the craft

and it sank; proving once and for all that

you can't have your kayak and heat it.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My

dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you

can do for him?' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's

have a look at him' So he picks the dog

up, examines his eyes, then checks his

teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm afraid I'm

going to have to put him down.' 'What?

Just because he's cross-eyed? 'No,

because he's really heavy'

So I was getting into my car, and this

bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?'

I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's

your oyster, go for it.'

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the

other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So

are you, you fat bastard!'

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one

was drinking battery acid, and the other

was eating fireworks. They charged one

and let the other one off.

'You know, somebody actually compli-

mented me on my driving today. They left

a little note on the windscreen. It said,

"Parking Fine". 'Wasn't that nice.'

A man walked into the doctors and said,

'I've hurt my arm in several places.' The

doctor said, 'Well don't go to them

anymore.'

Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred

early this morning when a small two-

seater Cessna plane crashed into a

cemetery. Irish search and rescue

workers have recovered 726 bodies so

far and expect that number to climb as

digging continues into the night....

B u

s i n

e s

s S

e r

v i c

e s

B u s i n e s s S

e r v i c e sHas your home in Spain been

affected by the recent storms?

Following one of the wettest winters in

Andalucía many homeowners in Spain

are still battling with floods and water

damage. If you are a home owner in

Spain and have suffered loss or damage

as a result of the storms, your Spanish

insurer may have advised you that your

claim is not covered under your policy

and that you must make a claim to the

Consorcio de Compensación de Seguros,

also known as ‘the Consorcio’.

The Consorcio acts as an insurer for

Spanish risks (such as your home in

Spain) in the event of extraordinary and

unpredictable occurrences, for example

extreme weather conditions.

In many cases insurers leave it to the

policyholder to make their claim to the

Consorcio. This process can be particu-

larly difficult if you are not familiar with

the system especially if you are not a

Spanish speaker. You may find that if

you do not follow the correct procedures

when making a claim you could be under

compensated.

Ibex Insurance Services can make this

process a little easier for you. Working

with a leading claims handling company

in the Iberian Peninsula, Ibex are offering

members of the public advice and

support on making their Consorcio claim.

This service is available to anyone who

currently has home insurance, even if

your policy is not with Ibex. For further

information or to make an appointment

with a Claims Consultant contact :

Rachelle King at Ibex Estepona

on 952 887 125 or

email [email protected] .

Please note that you must have a home

insurance policy in place in order to

make a claim to the Consorcio.

Impress your neighbours

with Amazing Garage Door

Covers!"

A German firm called "Style Your

Garage" - creates posters for

garage doors that make it look as

if it's actually showing the interior

of your garage, and what's in it!

Who do YOU want to impress ...

414

B u

s i n

e s

s S

e r

v i c

e s

What is "Remote Support"?

Remote Support is a service that allows

an engineer to connect to your computer

to repair it by using the internet and not

actually visiting your home. This can be

useful if you live in a remote area or

require a quick solution rather than

waiting for an engineer to visit.

Q1. Is it safe to allow someone to

connect to my computer?

A1. Yes, providing we have your permis-

sion we can only connect if you are sat at

your computer. There are various things

we need you to do to allow us access.

Also, we cannot gain access if your

computer is switched off. Once we take

control of your PC through the internet

you can see everything that we are doing

so if you are worried about what we see

just watch the screen.

Q2. What do we have to do to allow this

to happen?

A2. We need to send you a link via email

to install a small program on your

computer.

Q3. How do I pay?

A3. You can pay via our website

http://www.avanti.ndo.co.uk/payments.h

tml There is a standard €30 single

session fee for most problems. If it's a

bigger problem we will inform you and

make alternative arrangements.

Q4. I would rather have an engineer visit

us, what would be the cost

A4. In Mijas Costa we charge €30 per

hour, some faults are fixed in this time

period. More major problems can be

approx €60. There is no call out fee.

Website: www.avanti.ndo.co.uk

Email: [email protected]

Tel: +34 634 689 694

Here are actual calls to computer

technical support reps:

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Inter-

net with your CD, but it just doesn't work.

What am I doing wrong?

Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the

CD drive, right?

Customer: Yeah...

.

Tech support: And what sort of computer are

you using?

Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a

computer. It's in the CD player and all I get

is weird noises. Listen.....

Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

22

B u s i n e s s S

e r v i c e sTech support: Are you sure you used the

right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm totally sure. I saw my

colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the

password was?

Customer: Five stars * * * * * .

***

Customer: I have a huge problem. A

friend has placed a screen saver on my

computer, but every time I move the

mouse, it disappears.

***

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be

the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the

address, but how do I get the circle

around it?

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24

ised by the Federacion

Castilla La Mancha for

the 2nd time. (Lissy

finished 3rd in the 2008

Championship).

Their first race of 2010

took place on Sunday

14th March at the

Circuito de Albacete.

On the Saturday, Lissy raised the bar on

the 2nd timed practice to qualify 2nd on

the grid with her Suzuki GSXR 600.

Angela getting used to her new track toy

a Honda CBR600 RR qualified 9th in very

cold but dry conditions.

Sunday came, together with sunny, dry

warmer conditions. Lights go out and off

they go... Lissy reaches the hairpin first

with the polesitter Noelia right behind

her. Lissy holds her off until lap 5 when

a backmarker comes into play. Noelia

goes one side and Lissy goes the other

with Noelia then taking the lead into the

same hairpin. Lissy starts her pursuit

but can’t find an opening to pass and

follows her home hot on her tail in very

impressive 2nd place . Angela has a

solid race and finishes in 9th.

Next race is at Alcañiz, Teurel on the

19th of June www.motorlandaragon.com

Anyone interested in sponsoring Team-

Mari can contact Lissy (Galeria 151) on

655 459 576 or Angela 619 622 471.

Thanks to our sponsors RIES RACING,

SPEED MOTOS AND SIGNSTUDIOSPAIN.

Join the Facebook page “Team-Mari” and

show your support.

Congratulations ... TEAM-MARI

Lissy Hoyle and

Angela Ruiz

Cortina are two

Estepona based

b u s i n e s s

women. Their

love of bikes has culminated in them

taking part in the Copa Femenina organ-

S p

o r

t s

&

A

c t i v

i t i e

sMarbella Netball Club

Born in 2007, the

MNC was formed

by a group of

mothers at a local

I n t e r n a t i o n a l

School. Initially

we aimed to promote the sport along the

Costa del Sol and play friendly games

with other local clubs. Today we have two

teams competing in the Gibraltar Netball

League, the Harriers and the Jets.

We are always actively looking to

increase our membership so whether you

are interested in just coming along for a

good keep fit session or want to become

involved in playing in league fixtures

please come and give the MNC a try.

We train every Tuesday from 8pm till

9.30pm at LAUDE International School,

San Pedro (Formally Kings College) We

are always looking to recruit new

members all ages and abilities are

welcome. Our members range in ability

from complete beginners to former

county players.

For more information please contact

Nicky on 672 379 260 or check out our

facebook fan page Marbella Netball Club.

S p o r t s &

A c t i v i t i e s

The objective of the course is to

entertain, and it entertains. Its 9 holes

are spread out with a varied design over

the flat terrain of a valley and stand out

for their fairways, on which precision is

one of the keys to a good game.

With three par-3 holes and one par 5, the

course offers golfers the possibility of

playing all sorts of shots … and I´m sure

I will be !

In the next issue I will let you know how

my first lessons went. So far, I have been

told to wear sports shoes , comfortable

clothing, be ready to have fun and expect

to hit a lot of air !?

My instructor will provide me with all the

clubs and balls I need.

Apparently, it is unusual to manage to hit

the ball more than 3 metres on your first

day ... let´s see!

If you fancy joining me, just give me a call

on 608 840 692. The more the merrier!

Tee Time Anyone?

Having lived in Spain for

most of my life and now

actually living on the

Costa Del Golf , I have de-

cided it is time to take the plunge and

learn to play …

Like many others I have spoken to, I must

admit that I am concerned about the high

profile the game has here. Lots of

glamorous tournaments and events. You

will not find me there… not yet anyway!

So, I set off in search of a course where

I would feel comfortable and not feel like

people would be pointing their finger or

telling me to hurry up and get out of their

way! (I´m sure they wouldn’t actually say

that but I would not want to give them the

chance).

On meeting Gonzalo, the Director of

Casares Costa Golf, I knew I had found

the ideal place to begin my adventure.

Casares Costa Golf is a 9 hole course

designed with the casual golfer in mind

… and what is

more their fees

are a lot more

affordable! They

also have a great

restaurant with a

huge sun terrace

… what more do you need to enjoy a

game of golf!

Oops, back to the task in mind...

26

S p

o r

t s

&

A

c t i v

i t i e

sCosta Gaels: 2010 Iberian Gaelic

Football Championships

Gaelic Football is a form of football played

mainly in Ireland where, although a strictly

amateur pursuit, it is the most popular sport

in terms of both playing numbers and

attendance levels.

Played correctly, it is a fast, hard game

requiring a combination of skills incorporating

kicking, catching, running, tackling and hand-

passing.

Teams of 11 or 15 players attack H-shaped

goal posts, with one point awarded for kicking

or punching the ball between the posts and

over the crossbar and a goal worth three

points awarded for getting the ball under the

bar and into the net.

Last Saturday saw local team Marbella Costa

Gaels hosting the second round of the 2010

Iberian Gaelic Football Championships.

An exciting day’s action featured 14 games

played in the picture-postcard setting of Ojen

village, culminating in Sant Vincent Valencia

securing the men's title and Madrid Harps

emerging victorious in the ladies' final.

Six teams took part in the men's competition,

including Barcelona Gaels, Naomh Fermin

Pamplona and - making their first ever

championship appearance - Eire Og Seville.

Meanwhile in the ladies, three very evenly-

matched teams from Barcelona, Madrid &

Valencia battled it out.

At the awards ceremony later that evening in

the Claddagh Irish Bar in Marbella, referee

Tony Bass awarded the Most Valuable Player

award to the richly deserving Adam Whyte of

Valencia. A strong feature of the tournament

was the excellent contribution from players of

all nationalities, with the Spanish contingent

playing key roles in both winning teams.

Any Costa del Sol based players (male or

female, Irish, Spanish or any other nationality)

interested in getting involved are welcome to

email [email protected] or contact Gordon

on 664 246 054. The Costa Gaels have

weekly training sessions with all newcomers

welcome.

For anyone based in Seville, Eire Og Seville are

always looking to recruit new players and can

be contacted by emailing :

[email protected]

Team photo by Owen Farrell

www.doubleexposurephotography.com

28

O u

t &

A

b o

u t

April and May

are amongst

the best

times of the

year to visit

Ronda. Spring

is in the air, the skies are blue, the sun

is shining, all the beautiful birds are

singing, and the countryside is a lovely

deep green.

Taking a two hour walk from Plaza de

España will see most of Ronda's wonder-

ful historic heritage including the famous

Puente Nuevo,

the Moorish era

Arab Baths, the

medieval walls

of Ronda, the

Palacio Mondragon

where Moorish

and then Christian kings made their

home, and of course the bullring from

which the greatest names of bullfighting

legend perfected their craft.

Why not enjoy the quaint old time shop-

ping in Ronda's pedestrianised Calle La

Bola, we have traditional toy shops,

leather outlets and shoe makers, local

foods and wines, hand-made soaps, and

shops that sell gorgeous flamenco gowns

for fiestas.

Semana Santa is just around the corner

(first week of April) and for a small town,

Ronda boasts one of the most impressive

weeks, and you'll surely want to see the

silent parades where the only sound is

the dragging of chains by penitents.

Some of the heavier processions feature

up to 130 men carrying an icon for

several hours.

Toward the end of April, two of Scotland's

most popular gaelic singers will be

visiting the Serranía and teaching

Scottish Gaelic as well as performing

some of their favourite songs at the Hotel

Bandolero in Juzcar.

Gillebride Macmillan and Fiona

Mackenzie, darlings of the Gaelic music

charts are also experts in the Gaelic

language and will be your teachers.

The Hotel Bandolero

is also hosting an

exhibition by cele-

brated artist,

Joaquín González

Flores.

If you have a few days to spare in the

Serranía, you may also take a drive to

Teba where you can see a monument to

Scotland's Robert the Bruce whose heart

was carried in battle between Christian

and Moorish armies in 1330, as well,

visit the castle, one of the largest ever

constructed in Andalucía.

Editorial and photographs contributed

by Andy

O u t &

A b o u t

Steely grey

mountain tops,

soaring eagles,

deep valley

vistas, ve rd a n t

chestnut trees, white villages, big sky,

wild flowers & cactus, mountain goats,

boars, black pigs & rabbits; these are

some of the scenes to behold while

staying at Hotel Bandolero.

El Bandolero is a small, charming rural

hotel and restaurant tucked away in one

of the seven small white villages of the

Upper Genal Valley in the Ronda Mountains

in the greenest part of Andalucia.

Owners David and

Ivan welcome you

to their charming

accommodation in

the village of Júzcar

in the Genal Valley

where you can

escape all the pressures and stress of

urban life. Experience the pace of tradi-

tional Spanish living while relaxing on

the terrace, sampling local Ronda wines

and tapas as you enjoy the marvellous

views that the lush chestnut tree country

of the Upper Genal Valley has to offer.

El Bandolero, constructed in a rustic

style in 2001, offers tapas and creative

cuisine along with the

creature comforts of

country living. The

small hotel consists

of eight spacious

double rooms includ-

ing two suites, a

breakfast dining room, restaurant, bar

and terrace, lounge,

swimming pool and sun

terrace.

Six of the spacious

double rooms have wood-

burning stoves and terraces with stunning

views of the valley and mountains. All

rooms are decorated in a rustic style,

have en-suite bathrooms

and include coffee/tea

facilities, TVs & central

heating.

Sample the delicious

cuisine of Chef Iván, a

Cordon Bleu trained chef;

sip a refreshing "tinto de verano" (red

wine and lemonade over ice) on any one

of El Bandolero's sun terraces, taste

the tapas, relax and let the views carry

you away.

Hotel Bandolero is a favourite with nature

lovers and those who simply want to

escape the hustle and bustle of the

coast...

For further details of activities and local

recommended excursions, log onto the

Hotel Bandolero website:

www.hotelbandolero.com

[email protected]

Tel: 952 183 660 / 648 092 242

*SPECIAL OFFER*

3 Course Meal & Wine

+ Overnight Stay

+ Breakfast

ONLY 50€ (+ IVA) pppn

30

T e

e n

s F a

m e

G

a m

e s

P

a g

e

To BE SEEN in The Sentinella Phone 608 840 692

SPORTS

WORDSEARCH

ARCHERY

BADMINTON

BASEBALL

BASKETBALL

BOXING

CRICKET

FOOTBALL

GOLF

GYMNASTICS

HOCKEY

JUDO

NETBALL

POLO

SKIING

SQUASH

SURFING

SWIMMING

TENNIS

VOLLEYBALL

WRESTLING

K i d s P u z z l e

32

P e

t s

& A

n i m

a l s

ADANA Update ...

In the summer of 2009 an English

teacher, staying with lifelong friends in

Estepona, paid a visit to the Adana

kennels. On returning home she decided

to write a book about the Estepona

community, who had made her so

welcome, and paying particular reference

to Adana in the hope of raising funds and

awareness.

Returning to her home in Suffolk Helene

approached Edward Baker ( the firm that

is now Nestlé Purina), who have an office

in Sudbury, for help. Thinking that they

might donate a few doggie treats for

Christmas she was delighted to be told

that 2 pallets of dog food – top quality

Purina brands – would be shipped to

Barcelona free of charge for Adana!. The

food has now arrived and is being

enjoyed by the 160 dogs at the kennels

Helene and ADANA hope that this

generosity may be the first of many other

such gestures from companies and in

dividuals who recognize the difficulties

faced by animal welfare organizations

during the current financial crisis

April 12th Lunch at The Straw Donkey,

Puerto de la Duquesa from 1.30. Two

courses for €11 for reservations please

ring Anne on 952 801 501

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Are you and your dog speaking

the same language?

“He understands every word I say, you

know…”. This announcement, by the

owner, has been heard only too often by

most dog behaviourists; it usually causes

us to (mentally) roll our eyes and think

“Here we go again…”.

In fact, far from understanding every

word, most of our human conversations

and talk are no more than ‘meaningless

babble’ to our dogs. So, just how much of

our vocabulary do our dogs really

understand? The truth is, only a handful

of words – usually, those linked with

food, play or outings. In short, something

that is of direct and immediate interest

to the dog!

Nevertheless, these anthropomorphic

owners (that's the word used for

attributing human qualities to an animal)

do have a point; in long-term dog /human

relationships (excluding puppies and

newly acquired dogs) there is clearly an

exquisite and refined form of communi-

cation – a common ‘language’.

One of the things our dogs interpret with

extreme accuracy is our body language;

I am not talking here about the hand

signals we may have, perhaps very

successfully, taught our dog for certain

actions or commands, but about a body

language we, as humans, are totally un-

aware of performing, what I call the ‘He

seems to know what I’m thinking’ syn-

drome.

Likewise, our dogs try to respond and

communicate with us using their own

forms of body language which, sadly,

many owners misinterpret or simply do

not pay attention to.

It is a complex and interesting subject: more

about dog/human communication in the

next issue!

Sylvia FitzSimons

Canine Behaviour Consultant

e-mail: [email protected]

All main brands pet foods

Pet accessories and services

FREE delivery to your home

Dog Psychology & Behaviour Modification

952 904 973 / 679550490

www.barrysdogstore.net

P e t s & A

n i m a l s

We all need to

read a book that

makes us chuckle

and forget our

troubles... Victoria

Twead has done exactly

that with her hilarious

new award-winning page-turner,

‘Chickens, Mules and Two Old Fools ’ .

This book bursts with irreverent humour,

animals, eccentric characters and the

Spanish sunshine.

Set in sun-scorched Andalucía, ‘Chick-

ens, Mules and Two Old Fools’ describes

Vicky and Joe’s life-changing move to a

tiny village tucked in the Alpujarra

mountains. The couple have no idea of

the culture shock awaiting them, no idea

they will become reluctant chicken

farmers, own the most dangerous

cockerel in Spain, help capture a vulture

or be rescued by a mule.

Life with the villagers is never dull as

they embark on their Five Year Plan. At

the end of five years they must decide.

Will they stay or return to the relative

sanity of England?

Chapter Excerpt ...

“Look out for jellyfish,” said Joe as Judith

made her way across the hot sand to the

water’s edge. Famous last words.

Minutes later, an almighty yell woke us from

our doze. Judith, sombrero awry, was exiting

the water at a rate of knots. Joe and I jumped

to our feet.

“Jellyfish! Damned critter got me...” spluttered

Judith, wincing and holding her leg. “Hurts like

hell!” The rash on her leg was already

swelling and angry looking. She sat heavily on

the sand, her face creased in pain.

“What can we do?” I asked.

I looked around, but there was nobody on the

beach apart from a family some distance

away. Judith was suffering; she was writhing

and clutching at her leg. Jellyfish stings are

notoriously painful.

And then I had an inspiration. I love TV sur-

vival documentaries, the kind where the

presenter makes an A-frame shelter from

palm leaves and rubs two elephant beetles

together to start a fire. A bit of trivia I had

absorbed suddenly surfaced.

“Quick, Joe! Pee on her!”

“What?” Joe was aghast.

“Pee on her leg! It’ll take the sting away!”

“Don’t be ridiculous! I can’t just pee on

Judith!”

“You have to! I can’t do it, it has to be male

pee.”

“But…”

“Good Lord,” said Judith, extending her leg. “If

it’ll take the pain away, just DO it!”

“Well, I could … but you’ll both have to look

away.” Joe was crimson with embarrassment.

“Okay,” I said, “just get on with it!”

For a long moment he just stood there in

horror. Then, realising that both Judith and I

were deadly serious, he eased his trunks

aside, took aim, and began urinating on

Judith’s leg.

He was still in midstream when a shadow fell

across us. We became aware we were not

alone. The man from the distant family group

had joined us, presumably having noticed

Judith’s predicament. Politely, he held out a

tube of ointment.

“¿Medusa?” he asked quietly. “Jellyfish? This

ointment will take away the sting

immediately.”

Joe swung away, tucking himself back into his

trunks as fast as he could. The Spanish man

avoided looking at Joe, didn’t comment on his

bizarre behaviour. Instead, he splashed water

on Judith’s leg, then gently applied the

ointment. The relief, according to Judith, was

instantaneous.

“Vinegar also works well,” said the man, now

looking pointedly at Joe, then nodding

towards the cafe up the beach...

Title: Chickens, Mules and Two Old Fools Publisher: New Generation PublishingAuthor: Victoria Twead Date of publication: October 2009 ISBN-10: 1906558353

Victoria Twead's Website and Blog:

http://www.VictoriaTwead.com

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E n t e r t a i n m

e n tHow to Throw a Spring Cocktail

Party... 6 Top Tips

from Heather at Fiestasol Catering

- Firstly, decide how much you want to

take on yourselves. If you really want to

relax and enjoy the party, sometimes it is

a good idea to call in for some outside

help

- Keep the timing specific on your invite

If it is a just a cocktail party, you don´t

want people hanging around all night.

7-9pm should give your guests the

picture

- Have a plan B for rain - at this time of

year, you never know - so clearing away

some space in the living room may be a

necessity.

- Nights can be chilly at this time of year,

so consider renting an outdoor patio

heater.

- Remember to set out a proper bar -

dressed table, with glasses, sliced

lemons, ice and pincers is a must and

easy then for guests to serve themselves

- Consider in investing in some catering,

either opting for a simple, delivery-only

option or the full works with staff to

circulate the food, serve the drinks and

clean up afterward

... bliss!

GET NOTICEDHERE ...

from ONLY 75€

for 6 months

Call:

608 804 692

36

MAY TAURUS - the hierophant

21ST April – 21st May

A month where mental agility out-

wits emotions use your head not

your heart. In work, the cards depict

a sacrifice to be made in order to

gain, thus bringing celebrations over

money that you earn this month.

Travel overseas is predicted and

most enjoyable. Morocco?????

JUNE GEMINI - the lovely lovers

22nd May – 21st June

Well the tarot-scope takes you

Gemini’s to your spiritual self, a time

for self-healing ‘you know’ T L C to

the self. Stop battling with your spirit

it does know best. Stop taking on

other peoples negative attitudes,

follow your own intuition you won’t

go wrong. By the end of the April

things do look more positive.

JULY CANCER - the chariot

22nd June – 22st July

Come on you little crab’s it’s out of

the cold now for you, and I’m not

just talking about the weather. Move

forward now mentally and emotion-

ally. The cycle of life changes and

brings opportunities to commitment

in work and love, for those who dare

to step forward, life’s next chapter.

Oh how exciting !

AUGUST LEO - strength

23rd July – 23rd August

Oh Leo the lion. Strength and com-

passion required here for those

being judged by others, particularly

in family matters. Those who take

risks pay the price. Commotion

around travel and will bring peace of

mind. If you are waiting decisions on

education, it will be favourable to

you/your family. From your quiet

strength, you reap your rewards.

SEPTEMBER VIRGO - the hermit

24th August – 22nd September

Nine is the number of the hermit,

and a number of change. Symboliz-

ing completion, in a stage in your

life. So let’s see what’s next, well

this month. Some of you Virgos have

itchy feet, looking for new homes.

The plans you make this month, IF

you go slowly, will bring the warm

rewards in a new home. Push

negative thought from your mind,

and hold on to your positive

thoughts.

OCTOBER LIBRA - justice

23rd September – 23rd October

Don’t worry if you can’t spend as

much time with family and loved

ones as you would like. Absence

dose make the heart grow fonder.

It’s time to allow people to make

mistakes and learn lessons; it’s

their fate, their destiny. Remember

personal responsibility.

NOVEMBER SCORPIO - death

24th October – 22nd November

Scorpios you are emotional,

secretive, yet you like to know the

truth. Public recognition of your

efforts, bring personal contentment.

Offers of work and inspiring meet-

ings. Never say never the ace of

cups is out, combined with the

empress. Yes it’s a baby, don’t think

I’m too old or it won’t be me, babies

I believe are the universal/God’s

will, not ours. ENJOY X

DECEMBER SAGITTARIUS - temperance

23rd November – 21st December

Sagittarians blend with animals,

nature and humans. They also like

to study. On a spiritual level Okay

your psychic senses are starting to

stir, you are special you are individ-

ual; you need to learn to connect to

your higher-self, seek and find a

good mediation group. The cards

depict actions today relating to work

bring control, singing contract in the

winter months bring financial gain.

JANUARY CAPRICORN - the devil

22nd December – 20th January

Capricorns enjoy wealth, and

comforts. Sensuous souls to. Ohh

this month it’s all about you and why

not, you’ve worked hard put a lot of

mental energy into what you want so

step forward out of the shadows and

enjoy the success that is justifiably

yours.

FEBRUARY AQUARIUS - the star

21st January -18th February

We all have stubborn streaks and its

time to use yours in a positive way.

Small children need guidance, tough

love brings them back to reality, and

into the family fold. We all must

manage our money but you Aquar-

ians more than most this month,

pull the financial reins in, take heed.

Greece holidays look good.

MARCH PISCES - the moon

19th February – 20th March

Invertations from a man to a

wedding come in the next two

months. Men born in this month it’s

a positive time to bring in change in

work conditions don’t sit on the

fence get on with it. A new broom

sweeps clean bringing work oppor-

tunities overseas. Go pisces go.

ARIES THE RAM 21st march – 20th April

Money – Coins We all want the home comforts, and I can see you having a small

amount of money to spend on a few creature comforts. I see a lot of work going

into sustaining a finical situation. The card’s predict balance within the next 6

weeks where finances are concerned. Please stop beating yourself up over money. Work – Wands There is so

much positive energy in this month, so use it to bring plans to fruition. Men and Women use your feminine,

creative side to move forward and achieve. People causing you problems in work? This will not last forever. It can

turn out to be harmonious. Honest. Health – Swords Stop right now if you’re giving though to a past situation

that you cannot change. Concentrate on the new, the past robs us of today and tomorrow when we give it too

much thought. Past demons, can be such a drain if we allow, change your thought pattern. It is a good month for

all those wanting an addition to the family, good news and pregnancy soon. Love – Cups News of a wedding in

October? Its well starred in the cards. It’s a good relationship don’t doubt the loving relationship you have. Any

connections with authorities work out well. I see a man in uniform, how romantic x

Mary White

The Sentinella´s Mystic

Tel: 678 801 159

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Background...

As the days grow longer and we approach

the summer why not try this refreshing

cocktail. Containing 5 white spirits and

topped with cola, this ‘iced-tea’ resem-

bling cocktail was first served in the late

1970s at the Oak Beach Inn, Babylon,

Long Island, NY.

Recipe...

In a cocktail shaker, add:

2 ice cubes

25ml vodka

25ml gin

25ml white rum

25ml tequila

25ml cointreau

25ml freshly squeezed lemon juice

Shake the ingredients to mix and chill

the contents. Strain into a large tumbler

filled with ice, and top up with cola.

Garnish with a lemon wedge.

This Month’s Cocktail ...

Long Island Iced Tea

CheersCheers

Neale !

Neale !

The rules are simple...

The artisit (ie. either the group’s

name or the singer’s surname

will begin with the chosen letter...

Here are the answers to the

Letter C Songs:

“We gotta make a decision

We leave tonight or live and die this

way”

TRACY CHAPMAN - Fast Car

“He drinks a whisky drink

He drinks a vodka drink”

CHUMBAWAMBA - Tub Thumping

“Starts to whistle as he

crosses the street

Seems embarrassed to be there”

PHIL COLLINS- Another day in Paradise

“Lipstick cherry all over the lens

as she's falling

In miles of sharp blue water

coming in where she lies”

“But I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up

in surrender”

“Keep your silly ways or throw them

out the window

The wisdom of your ways, I've been

there and I know”

Remember the Answers will be

published next month.

Featuring ...

The Letter “D”

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#*&�$,* ��/�$*��**&� �+��&�)��&�"��&&#��+ &%�#��,)) �,#,$��*&%��

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If you know the answers, you can post them on our

Fan Page “The Sentinella, Costa West Edition” ....

Name That Song ...E n

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How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothes and place them sec-

tioned in laundry basket according to

lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing

gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover

up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mir-

ror - make mental note to do more sit-ups

/ leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long

loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and

sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's

clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint

conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial

scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut

and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse condi-

tioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing

gown and towel on head.. If you see part-

ner along the way, cover up any exposed

areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge

of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake

willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch

your bum.

Get in the shower

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits

Blow your nose in your hands and let the

water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at

how loud it sounds in the shower..

Spend majority of time washing privates

and surrounding area. Wash your bum,

leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on

the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off

Fail to notice water on floor because cur-

tain was hanging out of bath the whole

time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on

floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom

with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake

willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound

again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

WE KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE

IT IS SOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!

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Chirine Ayoubi JewelleryBESPOKE J EWEL L ER

Tel: 952 897 266

Las Galerias, Local 9 & 10, Puerto de la Duquesa

RepairsWedding Rings

Engagement RingsEar Piercing

RemodellingStone replacement

email: [email protected]

Some Useless Easter Facts ...

The tradition of giving eggs at Easter

time has been traced back to Persians,

Egyptians, Gauls, Greeks and Romans, to

whom the egg was a symbol of life.

Easter is a “moveable feast” celebrated

on the first Sunday after the full moon

which happens on or after March 21, the

Spring Equinox.

The first chocolate eggs were made in

Europe in the early 1800s and still are

one of the most popular treats associ-

ated with Easter.

76 percent of people eat the ears on

chocolate bunnies first.

The traditional act of painting eggs is

called Pysanka (origins from the Ukran-

ian word pysaty, “to write”)

According to the Guinness Book of World

Records the largest Easter egg ever

made was just over 25 feet high and

weighed 8,968 lbs.

The name Easter originates from Eastre,

the Anglo-Saxon goddess who symbolizes

hare and egg.

Every year, the White House hosts an

Easter Egg Roll on the front lawn. The tra-

dition was started by President Ruther-

ford B. Hayes in 1878.

Cartoon Caption Challenge ...

We had a fantastic response to the

Chicken Challenge in the last issue.

Unfortunately, the Cudeca concert was

cancelled so we have decided to run the

Challenge again this issue and the

winner wil receive an original copy of the

Cat and their caption/ joke/ story,

designed by local artist Mick Elliot.

It’s simple ... the prize will go to the

person who sends in the funniest joke /

caption / story about a Cat ...

Answers to:

costawest@thesent inel la .com

or add to our Facebook Fan Page,

The Sent inel la Costa West Edi t ion

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In Childrens´Words ...

Cream loses its magic:

Little Michael watched, fascinated, as his

mother smoothed cold cream on her

face.

"Why do you do that, Mummy?" he asked

"To make myself beautiful," said his

mother who then began removing the

cream with a tissue

"What's the matter?" asked little Michael,

"Giving up?"

Road Hog:

One day I was driving with my five year

old daughter and I honked my car horn by

mistake.

Alice turned and looked at me for an

explanation.

I said, "I did that by accident."

Alice replied, "I know that, Daddy."

I replied, "How did you know?"

She said, "Because you didn't say 'IDIOT'

afterwards"

The Chase:

Nicola, eight years old, told her parents

that David Parsons had kissed her after

lessons.

"How did that happen?" asked her

mother.

"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady,

"but three girls helped me catch him."

GALERIA 151

Urb Gacela Hills/Arena Beach 29680 Estepona, MalagaTel: 952800676, Mob: 655459576

email: [email protected]

Picture FramingMirrors

Memorabilia framing and presentation

(shirts, footballs, gloves, caps and helmets)

Canvas Stretching

FRAMING GALLERY

GALERIA 1RF

ALERIA 15RELLAGGNIMAR

51YR

arftih(

RF

gnimarFerutciPsrorriM

ailibaromeMtatneserpdnagnimahdlllbtf

RELLAGGNIMAR

noit)tl

YR

Urb Gacela Hills/Arena Beach 29680 Estepona, Malaga

strihs(

C

Urb Gacela Hills/Arena Beach 29680 Estepona, Malaga675954556:boM,676008259:leT

moc.liamg@151airelag:liame

ehdnaspac,sevolg,sllabtoof,s

gnihctertSsavnaC

Urb Gacela Hills/Arena Beach 29680 Estepona, Malaga

)stemle

g

42

Across

6 Effeminate (7)

7 Wife of Odin (Norse mythology) (5)

9 Looked at (4)

10 Indicative of (10)

11 Marked with linear discolorations (8)

13 Wriggle (6)

15 Anagram of "Seek" (4)

17 Creates (5)

18 Thin flat circular plate (4)

19 Seizes (6)

20 Wages (8)

23 Bode (10)

26 Sicknesses (4)

27 Mediterranean herbs (5)

28 Movement downward (7)

Down

1 Benevolences (10)

2 Decorate (6)

3 Profound (4)

4 Infractions (8)

5 Depressions (4)

6 North African country (5)

8 Rules (7)

12 Levees (5)

14 Underscores (10)

16 Singalong (7)

17 The head of an editorial

page (8)

21 Least high (6)

22 Acclaim (5)

24 Pocketbook (4)

25 Fathers (4)

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H

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S

U

D

O

K

U

C

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O

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S

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O

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E

Murphy applied for a fermentation

operator post at a famous Irish firm

based in Dublin.

An American applied for the same job

and since both applicants had similar

qualifications, they were asked to take a

test by the Manager.

When the results were in, amazingly,

both men had only one wrong answer.

The manager went to Murphy and said,

"Thank you for coming to the interview,

but we've decided to give the American

the job."

Murphy, "And why would you be doing

that? We both got 19 questions correct.

This being Ireland and me being Irish,

surely I should get the job."

Manager, "We have made our decision

not on the correct answers, but on the

question you missed."

Murphy, "And just how would one

incorrect answer be better than the

other?"

Manager, "Simple. On question number 7

the American wrote down, 'I don't know.'

You put down, "Neither do I."

***

Fifty-one years ago, Herman

James, a North Carolina mountain man,

was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the

Army issued him a comb. That afternoon

the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued

Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the

Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a

jock strap.

The Army has been looking for Herman

for 51 years.

Is it time for a Spring clean of

your wardrobe?

Do you have any high quality and well

cared for garments that you no longer

wear? Have you ever thought of using a

Dress Agency? They can not only provide

you with quality garments at great value

but they will also sell your garments for

you.

Still not sure? Pop in and see Vivien in

the Frock Exchange in Benavista and see

what she has to offer. All her stock is new

or nearly new and in excellent condition.

She carries a wide range of evening and

daywear from designers and labels from

all over the world. She also has a

fantastic range of bags, shoes and

accessories … all at unbeatable prices!

Don’t take our word for it, go and see for

yourself !

(see above advert or directions)

To BE SEEN in The Sentinella Phone 608 840 692

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Puzzle Solutions ...

��!��

��

��

Quality Secondhand Clothes for Sale

Baby girl from birth to 2 years.

High street brands & immaculate

designer outfits.

For details & photos 608 832 770

3500€ OVNO

Tel: 617 016 738

FOR SALE

Honda CBR 900 RR FirebladeExcellent Condition 12750 Km

Full service history

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Do you need help around thehouse or an extra pair of hands on

a current project or a house sitter?I am an honest & reliable man, living in

Ronda who is looking to spend a month in

the Marbella area with view to carrying

out a personal project in June/ July.

I am willling to consider all kinds of work

in exchange for a place to live for a month

or so. References available.

Call Andy 695 722 075

WANTED

Second

hand LHD

car.

Call Joe675 312 774

page

Animals & Pets

Barry´s Dogstore 33

Lady Dog Carer 32

Pet Taxi 32

The Dog House 33

Art, Crafts & Photography

Andalucia Soap Company 28

Galeria 151 41

Bars & Hotels

Cheers Bar 37

Hotel Bandolero 29

Business Services

Avanti Computer Solutions 22

Costaworkwear 19

Red-enet 23

Sentinella Services 19

Care Services

Kangaroo Carers 31

Sanyres 6

Doctors / Dentists / Health Service

Marbella Chiropractor 15

Marion the Midwife 12

SOS Medicos 24h 2

Fashion & Accessories

Chirine Ayoubi Jewellery 40

The Frock Exchange 43

Other

Bidb4ubuy.com 41

Big Blue Box 9

FiestaSol Catering 35

Guitar Tuition 38

page

Health & Beauty

Hypno Band 13

Hypnotherapy 10

Marbella Mobile Beauty 14

MK Fitness & Health 14

Permanent Makeup 17

The Works Hair & Beauty 13

Law, Finance & Insurance

Ibex 47

Service & Repairs

Advasol Solutions 9

Apex Chimney Services 11

Complete Carpentry 11

Eco Pools 7

Mosquito Screen Co. 8

Solar Shade 9

Sports & Activities

Active Scuba Divers 24

Casares Costa Golf 25

Personal Snorkel & Scuba Trainer 27

Transport & Removals

One Way Van Hire 39

Simon Gee 41

TV & Satellite

Orbit SL 5

PK Satellite 38

Reece Electronics 26

Sky Shop Spain 10

There are a lot of new projects in the pipeline

for 2010 , to ensure you & your business get

in before it´s too late, contact us ...

Tel: 608 840 692 or email [email protected]

Remember, The Sentinella is probably the most popular expat magazine along the

Costa Del Sol, designed to help local Businesses survive and grow. We do not target

Multi national Companies to advertise with us. Our advertising rates and great

distribution provide an essential service to any business here on the Coast.

Talk to us and we will listen. We can help your business to grow ...

Give us a call and decide for yourself !

T h e S e n t i n e l l a B

u s i n e s s P a g e

46

USEFUL NUMBERS...

General Emergency 112

Medical Emergency 061

National Police 091

Local Police 092

Guardia Civil 062

Fire Brigade 080

ESTEPONA

National Police 952 798 300

Guardia Civil 952 801 087

Local Police 952 808 040

Fire Brigade 952 804 483

Red Cross 952 806 542

MARBELLA

National Police 952 762 600

Guardia Civil 952 770 344

Local Police 952 899 900

Fire Brigade 952 774 349

Red Cross 952 861 688

HOSPITALS

Costa Del Sol 952 862 748

Maternity 951 030 200

Serrania de Ronda 951 065 000

TAXI SERVICE

Marbella 952 764 400

San Pedro 952 774 488

Estepona 952 802 900

Sabanillas 952 892 900

Sotogrande 956 616 078

BUS TIMETABLES...

URBAN BUSES.

ESTEPONA

L1 McDonald’s - Local Police.

From 9:21am to 9:00pm every 45

minutes (approx.)

MARBELLA

L1 La Cañada-Town Centre-Puerto

Banus


minutes (approx.)

L2 Albarizas- Town Centre-Xar-

blanca

From 7:30am to 9:29pm evey

30min. (approx.)

L3 Station -Town Centre - La

Cañada-Station


minutes (approx.)

BUS STATIONS


San Pedro 952 781 396


Sotogrande 952 450 550

CONSULATES

Great Britain 952 352 300

Ireland 952 475 108

Germany 952 363 591

France 952 226 590

USA 952 474 891

Italy 952 306 150

Sweden 952 604 383

TOURIST OFFICES



Ronda 952 871 272

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Sponsor this page and GROW with us!!!! tel. 608 840 692

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making life easier

the sentinella, costa west edition. april / may 2010

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s o t o g r