the pulse 12.26 » june 25, 2015

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVEjuNE 25, 2015

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wolfpackscenester scene

music

Ga Brownsweet music

arts

what is it?crispin glover

A PlAce of SAfety, comfort—And HelP

A SAFE SPACE

FAMILYJUSTICE

2 • The Pulse • June 25-July 1, 2015 • chaTTanoogaPulse.com

chaTTanoogaPulse.com • June 25-July 1 • The Pulse • 3

THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer media and is distributed throughout the city of chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. no person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. contents copyright © 2015 by Brewer media. all rights reserved.

Features4 BeGInnInGS: More Middle East intervention is simply insanity.

6 AIR BAG: The greatest car of the 20th century is one you might not know exists.

14 ARTS CAlenDAR

17 SPIRITS WITHIn: Our man on the bar stool agrees with Drake and Usher.

20 MuSIC CAlenDAR

22 ReVIeWS: Emily Kate Boyd grooves and calms, Gold Plated Gold cruises.

23 DIVeRSIOnS

25 SuSHI & BISCuITS: The return to favor of monosodium glutamate.

26 SCReen: The Coin Op will provide another screening space in September.

28 FRee WIll ASTROlOGy

29 JOneSIn’ CROSSWORD

30 On THe BeAT: Officer Alex revisits the site of his earliest days in blue.

EDITORIALManaging editor gary Poole

Contributing editor Janis hashe

Music editor marc T. michael

Film editor John DeVore

ContributorsDavid Traver adolphus • christopher armstrong

Rob Brezsny • matt Jones • mike mcJunkinZach nicholson • ernie Paik

Rick Pimental-habib • alex Teach • Terry stulce

editorial Internsashley coker • shaun Webster

Cartoonistsmax cannon • Rob Rogers

Jen sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

Cover Photo Doriana

Founded 2003 by Zachary cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISINGDirector of Sales mike Baskin

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angela lanham • Rick leavellKyle Richard • chester sharp • stacey Tyler

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BREWER MEDIA GROUPPublisher & President Jim Brewer II

June 25, 2015volume 12, issue 26

8 A Place of Safety, Comfort—and HelpThe same question has been asked for decades—maybe centuries. Why do those in abusive situations stay? Why, for example, did Rosa Chatman, found beaten to death in

her apartment in College Hill Courts, continue to see Bruce Stevenson, her alleged attacker, even though his history

included aggravated rape, kidnapping and attempted murder?

12 Two Days of Film and ProvocationAfter doing a karate kick near David Letterman’s face, on an

infamous Late Night with David Letterman appearance in 1987, some thought that actor Crispin Hellion Glover was insane.

18 Wordsmith Lives Up to Its PromiseGosh, kids, it seems like I’ve been on a winning streak lately,

getting disc after disc of brain-tickling music. It’s always easier to write about music you really enjoy and this week’s

experiment, Wordsmith by Sweet G.A. Brown, is turning out to be a hoot and a holler.

ContentsCHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

& American ImpressionismOpen June 27 - September 20, 2015 | Visit huntermuseum.org for more information


NEWS • VIEWS • RANTS • RAVESUPDATES » chaTTanoogaPulse.com FACEBOOk/chaTTanoogaPulse

eMAIl loVe leTTeRs, aDVIce & TRash TalK To [email protected]

Op-Ed: The Chicken Hawks Are BackMore American intervention in the Middle East is simply insanity

General William Odom described the Iraq invasion as the ‘greatest strategic disaster in United States History’.”

“Recently President Obama has faced

fierce lobbying from right-wing politi-cians and chicken hawk think tanks to put “boots on the ground” in Syria and Iraq. This lobbying for war is based on the familiar delusion that American military intervention is a panacea for all problems in the Middle East.

Even though military adventures have blown up in our face over and over, war is still our default position. The USA is like a man dying of thirst in the desert who sees a mirage again and again and continues to think it is water.

Let’s take a short tour of our misad-ventures, beginning in Iran in 1951.

Dr. Mohammed Mossadegh was elected prime minister with 90 percent of the vote. He had become even more popular when he national-ized the oil companies. In 1953, the CIA en-gineered two coups to overthrow him. The last coup put the shah back in power, and he maintained dictatorial control of the country

for 24 years until a popular upris-ing overthrew him and installed the Ayatollah Khomeini. “The

chickens came home to roost” on November 4, 1979, when radicals overran our embassy and held 60 Americans hostage for 444 days. It was a humiliating international embarrassment for America.

Next stop: Lebanon. In1982, Ronald Reagan sent a military peacekeeping force to Lebanon. On October 23, 1983, Hezbollah, with sup-port from Iran and Syria, attacked the Marine barracks in Beirut. A truck bomb with 2,000 pounds. of explosives killed 281 Marines. Rea-gan wisely retreated in February of 1984.

Next stop: Afghanistan. Former National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski admit-ted in an interview that in the summer of 1979, the CIA began training the mujahideen. This was a key precipitating factor for the Russian invasion on December 24, 1979. On that date, Brzezinski wrote to President Carter saying, “We now have the opportunity of giving the USSR its Vietnam War.” Between 1985 and 1992, the CIA trained 12,500 mujahideen in bomb-making, sabotage, and urban guerilla

warfare. The CIA funneled 500 million dollars into this enter-prise.

It helped fund groups lead by Osama bin Laden and Ayman Al-Zawahiri, which later became Al Qaeda. We helped create the Frankenstein’s monster that at-tacked us on 9-11.

Next stop: Iraq. General Wil-liam Odom described the Iraq invasion as the “greatest stra-tegic disaster in United States History.” The cost in money and lives is staggering. The outcome is that half of Iraq is a failed state where terrorism is ascendant, and the south is a Shiite dictator-ship dependent on Iran. Recent-ly, columnist Cal Thomas, who was a mindless supporter of the invasion, expressed nostalgia for the Iraq ruled by Saddam Hus-sein.

Our interventions in the Middle East have been abysmal failures. They have resulted in more chaos, senseless violence, and destruction, while increasing the number of terrorists and an-ti-American sentiment. We must acknowledge our incompetence and give up our delusion that American military power is the right hammer for every Middle Eastern nail.

Politicsterry stulce

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The human race doesn’t agree on much. You either want blunts to be handed out to this year’s trick-or-treaters or you want to outlaw hemp bracelets. You either possess an undying love for cilantro or you have a detailed plan laid out to de-stroy it. It’s nice to know that, even with people getting heated over presidential campaigns and spicy over herbs, there’s one

thing we can all agree on: dogs. Well, except the cat people, but

they’re wrong.McKamey Animal Center and the Hu-mane Educational Society have teamed up to create an event that’s got something for everyone (yes,

even the cat people). The shelters will be

holding a mega adopt-a-thon at McKamey Animal

Center from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. on

Saturday, June 27. The festival will feature live music, food vendors and carnival games for the kids. Furry friends can enjoy the canine water park, and there will be a microchip and vaccination clinic from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. The night will conclude with an ice cream social from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m.

There will be discounted adop-tion fees for dogs and cats all day at both McKamey Animal Center and the Humane Educational Society, so if you’re looking to add a new set of paws to your family, now is the time!

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EdiToonby Rob Rogers

Make This Summer The Best They’ve Ever Had

Feature colum-nist, arts writer and Con-tributing Editor Janis

Hashe has been both a staff editor and a freelance writer/editor for more than 25 years. Her work has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, AmericanStyle magazine,

Sunset magazine, and the international magazine Monocle, among many other outlets. She has a master’s degree in theatre arts, is the founder of Shakespeare Chat-tanooga and a member of the Chattanooga Zen Group. Her novel “The Ex-Club Tong Pang” was published in December of 2013 (we think it’s a great novel, but we may be just a wee bit biased). Pick up a copy today, and tell all your friends about it.

Janis Hashe

— Ashley Coker

Album reviewer and mu-sic writer Ernie Paik has written about

music and film for various publications for over 20 years and has contributed regularly to The Pulse since 2005. He has contributed to the books “The Magnetic Fields’ 69 Love Songs: A Field Guide”

and “Lunacy: The Best of the Cornell Lunatic”, and he is the current president of the Chattanooga-based nonprofit arts education organization The Shaking Ray Levi Society (one of our favorites). As a record-ing artist, he has created original music for film, radio, television and theater, and his video artwork has been shown at the Museum of Con-temporary Art Detroit and the 2010 Big Ears Festival.

Ernie Paik

Since 1982


This year I have dedi-cated too much of “Air-bag” to complaining about cars. That’s wrong, because I love cars. So as promised, this month is going to be about what many car nerds, like me, consid-er the single greatest car of the 20th century.

There are many truly great cars: The Big Three of Packard, Peerless and Pierce-Arrow; Rolls-Royce; Aston-Martin—all those and others made cars where engineering and quality, not price, were the priority.

But there’s one particu-lar model which had all that, plus performance, and one more thing. No

one particularly cared if it even sold.

In the mid-1960s, Mer-cedes-Benz engineer Er-ich “Waxy” Waxenberger was incensed when a

G e r m a n journa l i s t told him he was “get-ting old, b u i l d i n g

granny cars.” Without the knowledge

or approval of any execu-tives, he ordered a single long-wheelbase 300 SEL body shell from their new six-cylinder S-class se-dan and into it stuffed a fuel-injected 6.3-liter V-8 from a limousine.

Waxenberger tried to sell the idea to manage-ment but didn’t necessar-ily have plans for his 300 SEL 6.3 beyond proving

a point. Then, late one night, the head of passen-ger car research Rudolf Uhlenhaut was working late when he heard some-thing strange out the window.

All he thought he saw, however, was a motley 300 SEL making a very wrong noise. He immedi-ately insisted on driving the 6.3 and even though Uhlenhaut still didn’t think it would sell, Wax-enberger convinced him.

It wasn’t cheap—about $10,000 factory delivery when it debuted in 1968, and $14,000 at an Ameri-can dealer in 1969. For an exotic sports car or cross-shopped against a Bentley, that was a great deal. But it was twice of the cost of an Imperial LeBaron, Cadillac Fleet-wood Eldorado, Lincoln Continental or even Jag-uar XJ12 sedan.

Still, why was it so in-credibly expensive? It’s because of a level of engi-

neering, attention to de-tail and pure luxury that hadn’t been seen since before World War II. In addition to the huge and hugely powerful engine (it really barely fits), it had self-leveling air sus-pension and a limited-slip differential, power steering and four-wheel power disc brakes, all-electric windows, auto-locking doors and a hun-dred other little details.

The interior was wal-nut, leather and wool all over and everything was made with the greatest precision possible, in the finest materials available. At the same time, it could cruise effortlessly at 120 mph and accelerate faster than Porsche 911S or Fer-rari 330 GTC, with the absolute confidence, sta-bility quiet and comfort that befit a 4,000-pound luxury sedan.

The 300 SEL 6.3 re-ceived all the praise in the world in its day: Mo-

Cars: How To Make ThemThe greatest car of the 20th century is one you might not know even exists

“The 300 SEL 6.3 represents what can happen when the single consideration is ‘build the best thing you possibly can.’”

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tor Trend said, “What surprises you immediately when you drive the 6.3-liter is the large amount of comfort—around you, under you and everywhere.

Second and here you must be-ware—you do not realize while driving that you are actually going fast, very fast indeed!” Road and Track said, “If we had to choose one car, regardless of cost, to serve all our automotive desires, it would have to be the 300SEL 6.3.” In Car & Driver, Brock Yates said “...the automobile is the most stimulating, desirable 4-door se-dan to appear since the Model J Duesenberg...capable of going like the hammers of hell.”

The love for the 6.3 has never stopped, either, in part because it’s a rare Sixties car that feels at home today.

It’s been said Mercedes-Benz built this as a gift for its engineers: “Here,” they were saying. “Here is everything we are capable of do-ing. We know you spend your time building cars that can go a million

miles as taxis, and we appreciate it. Thank you.” The 300 SEL 6.3 represents what can happen when the single consideration is “build the best thing you possibly can.”

We love it not just because of what it can do but because of what it represents, the absolutely pure essence of what is possible when there are literally no limits. Ed-mond Rostand wrote in Cyrano de Bergerac, “Who knows her smile has known a perfect thing.” It’s a reason never to lose hope.

“So what makes it so great?” asked Road and Track. “Simply that whatever it is asked to do, it does better than almost any other car.” They didn’t sell many and probably lost money on it anyway, but almost 50 years later, it is as wonderful as ever, unchanged in the flow of time.

David Traver Adolphus is a freelance automotive researcher who recently quit his full time job writing about old cars to pursue his lifelong dream of writing about old AND new cars. He welcomes the inevitable and probably richly deserved kvetching about Airbag and anything else on Twitter as @proscriptus.


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Family Justice Center offers multiple services under one roofstory by Janis Hashe

A Place of Safety, Comfort—and Help Opens in Eastgate

The same question has been asked for decades—maybe centuries. Why do those in abusive situations stay? Why, for example, did Rosa Chatman, found beaten to death in her apartment in College Hill Courts, continue to see Bruce Stevenson, her alleged attacker, even though his history included aggravated rape, kidnapping and attempted murder? In a hypothetical situation, why does a well-off, educated woman stay with her abuser, even though she may have resources Rosa Chatman did not?

The answers are as diverse as the victims. But starting July 1, Chattanooga will have another major resource for domestic violence victims, women, chil-dren—and men. The Family Justice Center will of-ficially open in its temporary location in the Eastgate area on that date, offering multiple services for victims of any type of violence. (The center will remain in its 7,000-square-foot temporary space for an estimated year, as the 40,000-square-foot permanent space is be-ing built out in the former U.S. Post Office annex next to Brainerd Mission Cemetery.)

“The Family Justice Center concept originated in San Diego in the ’90s,” says the FJC’s Executive Di-rector Valerie Radu, Ph.D., LCSW. “It was clear there was a need for centrally located services, with multiple providers in one place.” President George Bush sup-ported the concept going nationwide, and Gov. Bill Haslam has overseen the creation of what will eventu-ally be 17 Tennessee Family Justice Centers. “The start-up funds come from the state,” explains Radu. “We will be the fourth to open. The local communities decide how to continue to fund the centers, and in our case, the city has stepped up. We will be part of the

Chattanooga Police Department.”Chattanooga was one of the first cities to participate

in the initial request for funding, due mostly to the support of Mayor Andy Berke, and with the full support of Police Chief Fred Fletcher, she says.

“The statistics [on domestic violence] in Tennessee are awful. Fully 51 percent of crimes against persons are domestic violence-related,” Radu says.

Services the Family Justice Center will provide

• legal assistance. “We will provide court advo-cates, who can go to court with the victims to provide help and support. We can provide advice on orders of protection, and we work with Legal Aid of Tennessee,” says Radu. “Many victims, trying to navigate the legal system, are re-victimized over and over. We want to help prevent that.”

• Safety planning. “One in three women will experience domestic violence,” says Radu. “We’ll go through a series of questions with the women who come to us, and create a plan for them, to make sure they are as safe as they can be, whether they choose to

“The Family Justice Center will officially open in its temporary location in the Eastgate area on July 1, offering multiple services for victims of any type of violence.”


stay in their current situation or not.”

• Mental health counsel-ing. The FJC is partnering with the Helen Ross McNabb Center, as well as the Southern Adventist School of Social Work, to provide free mental health counseling for victims of violence. Other thera-pists, says Radu, are also stepping up to help run groups for women, families and children. “We will be seeing people with significant [mental and emotional] trauma,” Radu says, “and we will be pre-pared to do assessments for those who need medication.” Victims who need physical treatment will be counseled and referred to local hospitals.

• elder abuse intervention. “We are a pilot site for an elder abuse shelter network,” says Radu. “This is a very vulnerable popula-tion and there is often nowhere to place them.” Radu has been work-ing with a successful New York or-ganization, the Hebrew Home for

the Aged, which has a service such as the FJC will provide. “We have a team that will do home-based as-sessments. The Fire Department has been outstanding in helping us identify who needs help.”

• Partnership with the Child Advocacy Center. “Anything of a criminal nature will be reported to child protective services, but we will work with the CAC to provide support for the families,” says Radu.

• Connection to community resources. Victims often need other types of services, such as a safe place for their pets. Many will stay in an abusive situation rather than abandon a beloved pet to an abuser. “We are working closely with McKamey Animal Center on this and they have been wonder-ful,” says Radu.• Complementary services. Already, says Radu, volunteers have come forward to lead free groups and classes in things such as trauma-informed yoga, dance,

healthy eating on a budget, foods to combat depression, poetry circles, and other ideas. Security and safety major priorities at FJC

Radu emphasizes that the FJC is a walk-in facility and referrals are not needed. At the same time, great care has been taken to en-sure security, with separate, locked entrances, security cameras and on-site security personnel.

The temporary center offers a variety of rooms where people can just rest and have quiet time. It also has a shower and a small kitchen. While it will not be a shelter, it’s nonetheless a place where those who come there can feel safe.

Though not nearly as prevalent as violence against women and children, violence against men does occur. “Six percent of sexual assaults are against men,” Radu

>> Continued on page 11

“Many victims, trying to navigate the legal system, are re-victimized over and over. We want to help prevent that.”


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says, noting that the num-ber is likely very under-reported as many men do not want to be perceived as “victims.” But the FJC has already received calls from men, and will be prepared to offer them the same services.

Also, Radu adds, the FJC is reaching out to the LGBT community, let-ting its members know that they will be welcomed at the center. “Chattanooga CARES will be one of our off-site partners,” she says.

In yet more community outreach, a “faith-centered initiative” will roll out to local churches.“We are really trying to reach as many people and and as many age groups as we can,” Radu says, noting that social media involvement is important to reach younger people, who will not necessarily call a hotline. The center will advocate the use of the app ASPIRE, “which offers

ways to get help if you are in a dangerous situation,” says Radu. Measuring results

The Family Justice Cen-ter is creating a Coordinated Community Response team, which will collect data from the center and compare it with data from other cities and states. The FJC will also hold public meetings, beginning in July, both to educate people about the issues and the center’s mis-sion, and also to solicit in-put. “We will get data from as many sources as possible, and the CCR will work with us to make recommenda-tions,” Radu says.

She anticipates that there will be as much as a 30 per-cent increase in reporting of violent crimes against per-sons once the center opens, because victims will have another place of safety to go to. “We want to intervene earlier, get to people when

it is the second call. We’ll let people know that we can discuss your situation without reporting a crime, and that we can coordinate referrals for you,” she says.

The FJC is also accept-ing volunteers, who will of course be fully screened.

“If we had gotten a refer-ral [to Rosa Chatman] on the second call, we could have helped her with a safety plan,” Radu says. “We will reach out to you. We will never close a case unless you ask us to, and we will always be a place that is safe.”

The Family Justice Center (temporary location)5741 Cornelison Rd.(Eastgate area, Building 6400, next to TVFCU)Chattanooga, TN 37406Center hours: 9:30 a.m. to 6 p.m., Mon-Fri(423) 643-7600www.facebook.com/groups/829172023768352/

• Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.

• Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or oth-erwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.

• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

• Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.

• Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.

• Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

• Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.

• Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.

• Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shel-ters, or the police for help.

• The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.

• Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.

Source: domesticviolencestatistics.org

Domestic Violence By The Numbers


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fri6.26STRANGE THEATER

“Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike”last chance to see the strangest play this season.8 p.m. Chattanooga Theater Center400 River St.(423) 267-8534theatrecenter.com

sat6.27REAL FOOTBALL

Chattanooga F.C. vs. Knoxville Forceroot on our hometown heroes on the green grass of home.7:30 p.m.Finley Stadium1826 Carter St.(423) 266-4041chattanoogafc.com

thu6.25COMEDIC BARD

Shakespeare Chattanooga reads “As You Like It”come for the comedic fun.7:30 p.m.The Highland Center104 N. Tuxedo Dr.(423) 622-2862facebook.com/shakespearechattanooga

Through Some Novelty Glass, LightlyHouston Museum’s new exhibit delights in whimsy

Art can be a little intimidating. We’ve all stood in a gallery, nodded our heads at a portrait of an obscure Victorian figurehead or a canvas of splattered paint and pretended to understand what it means to avoid looking like an uneducated fool. For all the confusion, however, thought-provoking art can be well worth the red face. And the Houston Museum of Decorative Arts is out to prove it.

On July 1, the museum, located in the Bluff View Arts District, unveils its new and untraditional exhibit entitled “Novelties, Whimsies and Oddities, Oh My!” the exhibit is a fun collection of handmade glass-ware that features a variety of rarely seen pieces from the Houston’s col-lection.

All of the art speaks to a distinct period of American glass-making

culture and history. Novelty pieces are a byproduct of the competi-tion between companies, with ex-travagant items being forged to attract customers. the whimsical sculptures are the creative result of leftover glass, and oddities, as the name suggests, are peculiar pieces that were simply too weird and won-derful not to put on display.

Admission is $9. the exhibit will run throughout July.

— Shaun Webster

“Novelties, Whimsies and Oddities, Oh My!”The Houston Museum of Decorative Arts210 High St.(423) 267-7176thehoustonmuseum.org

I am very careful to make it quite clear that What Is It? is not a film about Down Syndrome but my psychological reaction to the corporate restraints that have happened in the last 20 to 30 years in filmmaking.”

“

AFTER DOING A KARATE KICK NEAR DAVID LETTER-man’s face, on an infamous Late Night with David Letterman ap-

pearance in 1987, some thought that actor Crispin Hellion Glover was insane.

ArtserNIe PAIK

Two Days of Film and ProvocationThe unfiltered Crispin Glover comes to Barking Legs Thursday and Friday

No, he’s not insane—Michael J. Fox de-scribed him in the incident as “excitable” instead, years later to Letterman—but a portrayer of vivid, eccentric and often un-forgettable characters. Those who dig even deeper (his website crispinglover.com is a good start) will find a man of intelligence and wit who often seeks to not-so-gently push audiences out of their comfort zones.

Most know him from his film roles: the underdog George McFly in Back to the Fu-ture, the shockingly loyal Layne in River’s Edge or the silent killer the Thin Man in Charlie’s Angels, but his most personal artis-tic role is behind the camera as director of 2005’s What Is It? and 2007’s It Is Fine! Ev-erything Is Fine which offer their own figu-rative karate kicks to the face.

Demonstrating Glover’s dedication to his films, he only screens them in his pres-ence. They are unavailable on DVD or Netflix. In a sort of modern vaudeville pre-sentation, these events also including dra-matic hour-long slideshows and meet-and-greet book signings. Additionally, he allots at least one hour for a post-film question/answer session, to address the intensely provocative and disturbing themes and images just witnessed. In advance of his two-day stint, with each day offering com-pletely different material, at Barking Legs Theater, Glover answered some questions for The Pulse.

The Pulse: What is the most-often mis-understood thing about your own films?

Crispin Glover: The idea that there could be something negative about the in-tentions of making the films.

TP: What is the most interesting posi-tive reaction you have received? Negative reaction?


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CG: I am not certain that I look at the various reactions as positive or negative. The films were designed to evoke con-versation and thought, so any kind of dis-cussion emanating from the shows and films is positive.

TP: You’ve previously mentioned that using a “Hero’s Journey” story structure, like Joseph Campbell’s “Monomyth,” can bring out subconscious intentions. What have you discovered about your own intentions in the filmmaking pro-cess?

CG: It is almost like the concept of analyzing one’s self to say you would discover your own intentions. The self-analysis always continues for an art-ist of any kind on some level. It is still very hard to say what I have discovered. Sometimes at my shows I have had peo-ple notice thematic elements or things in the films that I had not noticed before. I am very glad when that happens, be-cause it means the subconscious element is genuine.

TP: Some critics have deemed your work, which sometimes employs people with developmental disabilities, to be exploitative. What is exploitation to you, and how would you address these critics?

CG: The word “exploitation” can have a negative connotation, meaning that it is something which enriches the exploiter to the detriment of the exploited.

[The monetary] definition of exploita-tion does not fit because I have not truly monetarily profited from the films. The other definition of exploitation is about the detriment of the people. There was nothing detrimental to the actors with

developmental disabilities that acted in the film. They all had guardians, and they were all met through organizations that had to do with using art as therapy for people with disabilities. My expe-rience personally making the film was therapeutic, and I am quite certain it was for all involved.

I am very careful to make it quite clear that What Is It? is not a film about Down Syndrome but my psychological reaction to the corporate restraints that have happened in the last 20 to 30 years in filmmaking. Specifically anything that can possibly make an audience un-comfortable is necessarily excised or the film will not be corporately funded or distributed.

This is damaging to the culture be-cause it is the very moment when an au-dience member sits back in their chair, looks up at the screen and thinks to their self, “Is this right what I am watch-ing? Is this wrong what I am watching? Should I be here? Should the filmmaker have made this? What is it?”—and that is the title of the film.

It is a bad thing when questions are not being asked, because these kinds of questions are when people are having a truly educational experience. So What Is It? is a direct reaction to the contents in this culture’s media. I would like people to think for themselves.

Crispin Glover7 p.m., $20, June 25 and 26 Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org

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RThe Royal Ballet: “The Winter’s Tale”

thursday6.25 Thomas & Friends: “Explore the Rails” Exhibit10 a.m.creative Discovery Museum321 chestnut st.(423) 756-2738cdmfun.orgHomeschool Science Club1 p.m.creative Discovery Museum 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738cdmfun.orgOoltewah Farmers Market3 p.m.Ooltewah Nursery & landscape co. 5829 Main st. (423) 238-9775ooltewahnursery.comNature Nuts: Butterfly Count5 p.m.tennessee Aquarium1 Broad st. (800) 262-0695tnaqua.org History Happy Hour: Recycling6 p.m.Museum center at Five Points200 Inman st.(423) 339-5745museumcenter.org“Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party”7 p.m.Vaudeville café 200 Market st.(423) 266-6202funnydinner.com“The Films and More

of Crispin Glover”7 p.m.Barking legs theater1307 Dodds Ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.org“Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike”7 p.m. chattanooga theatre centre400 river st.(423) 267-8534theatrecenter.comThe Royal Ballet: “The Winter’s Tale”7 p.m.Majestic 12311 Broad st. (423) 826-2375carmike.comShakespeare Chattanooga reads “As You Like It”7:30 p.m.the Highland center

104 N. tuxedo Dr.(423) 622-2862facebook.com/shakespearechattanooga

friday6.26 Tips & Tricks: Photoshop for the Fine Artist9 a.m.townsend Atelier 201 W. Main st. (423) 266-2712townsendatelier.com“Annie, Jr.”5:30 p.m.tivoli theater709 Broad st.(423) 757-5156chattanoogaonstage.comCanoe North chickamauga creek5:30 p.m.

Greenway Farm5051 Gann store rd.(423) 643-6888outdoorchattanooga.com“The Films and More of Crispin Glover”7 p.m.Barking legs theater1307 Dodds Ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.org“Mystery of Flight 138”7 p.m.Vaudeville café 200 Market st. (423) 266-6202funnydinner.com“Big Fish”7:30 p.m.the colonnade center264 catoosa circle, ringgold(706) 935-9000colonnadecenter.org CFF Presents: “The Wolfpack”7:30 p.m.the camp House149 e. MlK Blvd. (423) 702-8081thecamphouse.comMatt Mitchell7:30 p.m.the comedy catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com“Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike”8 p.m. chattanooga theatre centre400 river st.(423) 267-8534theatrecenter.com

Pulse Pick: Matt Mitchell

Matt Mitchell is a pure Southern mash boogie comedian from Alabama with barefeet, mush-mouthed drawling and a mile-wide social streak. Matt Mitchellthe comedy catch 3224 Brainerd rd. (423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

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Chattanooga Waterfront Triathlon

saturday6.27 MACfest9 a.m.McKamey Animal center4500 N. Access rd. (423) 305-6500mckameyanimalcenter.orgTips & Tricks: Photoshop for the Fine Artist9 a.m.townsend Atelier 201 W. Main st. (423) 266-2712townsendatelier.comChattanooga River Market10 a.m.tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad st. (423) 267-3474chattanoogarivermarket.comBrainerd Farmers Market10 a.m.Grace episcopal church20 Belvoir Ave.saygrace.netProtect Garden Pollinators! 10 a.m.the Barn Nursery1801 e. 24th st. Place(423) 267-3474tnaqua.orgForward Focus10 a.m.center For Mindful living1212 Mccallie Ave.(423) 486-1279centerformindfulliving.orgSoutheast Conservation Corps Trail Day10 a.m.tennessee river Gorge trustPot Point trails & cabin

17805 river canyon rd. (423) 664-2344cumberlandtrail.orgZines and Screens11 a.m.Downtown Public library1001 Broad st.(423) 757-5310chattlibrary.orgChattanooga Waterfront Triathlon Noonriverfront Pkwy. (423) 667-9431team-magic.com“Big Fish”1, 7:30 p.m.the colonnade center264 catoosa circle, ringgold(706) 935-9000colonnadecenter.org Screen Printing Saturday2 p.m.Downtown Public library1001 Broad st.(423) 757-5310chattlibrary.org“Annie, Jr.”5:30 p.m.tivoli theater709 Broad st.(423) 757-5156chattanoogaonstage.comGeorgia Winery’s Luau Wine Festival6:30 p.m.Georgia Winery6469 Battlefield Pkwy. (706) 937-9463georgiawines.comJazzanooga Presents: The Sounds of Motown7 p.m.the camp House

149 e. MlK Blvd. (423) 702-8081thecamphouse.comChattanooga F.C. vs. Knoxville Force7:30 p.m.Finley stadium1826 carter st.(423) 266-4041chattanoogafc.comMatt Mitchell7:30, 9:45 p.m.the comedy catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.comColor The Curve After Dark 8 p.m.coolidge Park 200 river st. (423) 243-7689colorthecurve.com“Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike”8 p.m. chattanooga theatre centre400 river st.(423) 267-8534theatrecenter.com

sunday6.28 Chattanooga Market: Blueberry Festival 11 a.m.First tennessee Pavilion1826 reggie White Blvd.(423) 266-4041chattanoogamarket.comMoccasin Bend Brewery Tour & TastingNoonMoccasin Bend

Brewing company4015 tennessee Ave.(423) 821-6395bendbrewingbeer.com“Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike”2:30 p.m. chattanooga theatre centre400 river st.(423) 267-8534theatrecenter.comMatt Mitchell7:30 p.m.the comedy catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

Monday6.29 Get Fresh Georgia Peaches11:30 a.m.Ooltewah Nursery & landscape co. 5829 Main st. (423) 238-9775ooltewahnursery.comAdvanced Watercolor Lessons 1 p.m.townsend Atelier201 W. Main st. (423) 266-2712townsendatelier.comScience Demonstration: Great Balls of Fire1 p.m.creative Discovery Museum 321 chestnut st. (423) 756-2738cdmfun.orgOne Step at a Time6 p.m.

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shepherd community center2124 shepherd rd.(423) 999-7958Vintage Swing Dance7 p.m.clear spring yoga17 N. Market st.(931) 982-1678clearspringyoga.comComedy with Max Fire8 p.m.JJ's Bohemia231 e. MlK Blvd.jjsbohemia.com

tuesday6.30 PSC Summer Season Show 8 a.m.Gallery at Blackwell71 eastgate loop (423) 344-5643chattanoogaphoto.orgLive Drawing Class10 a.m.North river civic center1009 executive Dr.(423) 870-8924chattanooga.govRock City Raptors Birds of Prey Show1 p.m.rock city1400 Patten rd. (706) 820-2531seerockcity.comHeavy Metal Bingo7 p.m.JJ's Bohemia231 e. MlK Blvd.jjsbohemia.com“Raging Bull”7 p.m.

Majestic 12311 Broad st. (423) 826-2375carmike.com

wednesday7.1 River Gallery July Exhibit Opening 10 a.m.river Gallery 400 e. second st. (423) 265-5033river-gallery.comMiddle East Dance10:30 a.m.Jewish cultural center5461 N. terrace(423) 493-0270jewishchattanooga.comSummer Dance Camps at Barre One 1:30 p.m.sportsbarn301 Market st.(423) 313-380barreone.comChattanooga Market3 p.m.First tennessee Pavilion1826 reggie White Blvd.(423) 266-4041chattanoogamarket.comMain Street Farmers Market4 p.m.325 e. Main st. mainstfarmersmarket.comChattanooga Lookouts vs. Birmingham Barons7:30 p.m.At&t Field201 Power Alleylookouts.com

ongoing

“The Way We Worked” Smithsonian Exhibitgreen|spaces 63 e. Main st. (423) 648-0963greenspaceschattanooga.org“Inside/Out” (ends June 30)river Gallery400 e. second st. (423) 265-5033river-gallery.com“Renaissance” (ends June 28)chattanooga Public library1001 Broad st.(423) 757-5310"Still In The Mist"In-town Gallery26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214intowngallery.com“Novelties, Whimsies and Oddities, Oh My”Houston Museum of Decorative Arts201 High st.(423) 267-7176thehoustonmuseum.org“Eudora Welty and the Segregated South”the Hunter Museum of Art10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968huntermuseum.org“Japonisme and America”the Hunter Museum of Art10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968huntermuseum.org“Monet and American

Impressionism” (starts June 27)the Hunter Museum of Art10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968huntermuseum.orgLocal Homeless & Nontraditional Artists Exhibition H*Art Gallery110 e. Main st. (423) 521-4707hartgallery.com “Indivisible: African-Native American Lives in the Americas”the Museum center at Five Points200 Inman st. e(423) 339-5745museumcenter.org“Mixed Media, Contemporary & Abstract” reflections Gallery 6922 lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072reflectionsgallerytN.comSpring Season at Blackwell71 eastgate loop (423) 344-5643chattanoogaphoto.org “Spirit Moves: Works by Allyson Mellberg Taylor and Jeremy Taylor”Association for Visual Arts30 Frazier Ave.(423) 265-4282www.avarts.org

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RRock City Raptors Birds of Prey Show

Map these locations on chatta-noogapulse.com. Send event list-ings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected]

THE FINEST INWINE&SPIRITS

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“Patron.” The mere utter-ance of the product’s name car-ries enough force to attract all palates, from weekend drink-ers to liquor enthusiasts, and even hip hop moguls. We’ve all heard the brand name-dropped in music, such as when Drake, the biggest crossover star since Mi-chael Jackson, rapped about a glass of Patron topped with a lime fuel-ing an evening with a beautiful woman, or when Chattanooga’s local legend, Usher, once sang that its “gonna be on,” after he takes a shot of Patron. We or-der shots of Patron on a Satur-day night when it’s time to buy drinks for the whole table, and for years, it’s established itself as the number-one choice when it comes to premium tequila.

Since 1989, when John Paul DeJoria and Martin Crowley perfected the ingredients down south in Jalisco, Mexico, Pa-tron’s consistency and its level of class haven’t changed. It continues to deliver the same award-winning taste which has

earned it the title of the biggest selling ultra-premium tequila in the United States of Amer-ica.

Yet, a new wind has whis-pered its way into the tequila world. The competition has become fiercer, and more and

more com-panies have entered their names into the running for the coun-try’s greatest liquor made

with an agave plant. Sensing the opportune time to unleash a new product, Patron recently released “Patron Roca,” a te-quila that manages to invent a wholly original taste while stay-ing true to tradition.

The name “Roca,” derives itself from the Spanish word for rock, and represents the timeless institution of how the tequila is created. While some companies have taken advan-tage of technological advance-ment, and discovered other means of creating tequila, Pa-tron Roca still uses a two-ton volcanic steel-fashioned wheel (called a “tehona”), to crush

baked agave. The juice that comprises the base of tequila is then wrung out. This ferment-ing juice and agave fiber are cooked together, which results in a separation, which creates a taste with a flavor richness un-matched by any other product on the market.

Patron Roca arrives in three different versions, Reposado, Silver, and Anejo, ranging from 84 to 90 proof. That’s nearly 45 percent alcohol by volume, and it’s considerably higher than Patron’s core line of tequilas. This new line rests in single-use American bourbon barrels until it is ready for bottling. “Roca Patron Reposado” rests for five months, “Roca Patron Anejo,” for 14 months. Reposa-do has hints of vanilla and gin-ger, and Silver combines pep-per, pumpkin, and lime tea to create a sweeter taste. Anejo’s flavor savors of wood, nuts, rai-sins and grapefruit.

The only way to drink such a complex spirit would be sans

chaser. Adding anything to this high-end liquor would only cheapen the taste. Pour Patron Roca in your best shot glass, relax in your favorite chair and enjoy the tequila’s warmth. Or, for a truly special occasion, go ahead and make a margarita with Patron Roca. Just make sure to use an orange-flavored liqueur, and please use real lime juice.

There’s no better way to combat rising temperatures than cooling off with tequila. It’s summer’s preferred spirit, and it’s best consumed while watching the sun set across the mountains. This season, when choosing tequila, choose class, and treat yourself with Patron Roca.

It’s the only brand guaran-teed to impress your friends, while earning notoriety from hip hop’s biggest stars. The next time you listen to the radio, and hear Patron refer-enced, you’ll know you made the right choice.

Christopher Armstrong was born in Knoxville, Tennessee on a brisk morning in November when the stars aligned and Jupiter was visible with the naked eye. He enjoys the changing of seasons, vinyl records, books with lots of pages and beer that is too expensive for him to ever buy.

“Patron recently released ‘Patron Roca,’ a tequila that manages to invent a wholly original taste while staying true to tradition.”

Spirits Within

cHrIstOPHerArMstrONG

Roca Rocks the Tequila WorldOur man on the barstool agrees with Drake and Usher about which tequila to choose

ATHENS DISTRIBUTING COMPANYWINE AND SPIRIT WHOLESALERS

Locally owned since 1961

Visit our website: Athensdistributing.comFollow us on Facebook

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Roca Patrón AñejoRoca Patrón Añejo ages about 14 months. You’ll notice hints of wood, nut, raisins, grapefruit, and just a touch of black pepper plus a velvety smooth finish.

Athens Distributing recommends these fine spirits...Patrón SilverUsing only the finest 100 percent Weber blue agave, Patrón Silver is handmade in small batches to be smooth, soft and easily mixable. A worldwide favorite.

Patrón CitrongePatrón Citrónge is a premium reserve, extra fine orange liqueur made in Jalisco, Mexico. It delivers a sweet and smooth fresh orange taste that’s excellent.

Patrón XO CaféPatrón XO Cafe is an extraordinary blend of ultra-premium Patrón Silver tequila and the pure, natural essence of fine coffee, with subtle notes of chocolate and vanilla.


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fri6.26NO CONSPIRACy

The Scarlet Love Conspiracy Fresh off a fantastic performance at riverbend, the slc get intimate at the Office.9 p.m.The Office @ City Cafe901 Carter St.citycafemenu.com

sat6.27CLASSIC COUNTRy

Husky BurnetteOld-fashioned country soul from one of chattanoga's favorite troubadours.9 p.m.The Brew and Cue5017 Rossville Blvd.facebook.com/TheBrewAndCue

thu6.25MARCHING SAINTS

The Cadillac Saintsled by epic guitar riffs and soulful vocals, they blend together a variety of influences that are sure to find your ears smiling.9 p.m.Rhythm & Brews221 Market St.rhythm-brews.com

Rock’s Golden Days Are BackThe Velcro Pygmies to bring back the ’80s at R& B

For some, the controlled, toned-down feel of the typical 21st-century concert is a nice change of pace from the (sometimes) organized chaos that preceded it. Others, however, find themselves lamenting the lost glory days of rock ‘n’ roll. While it may pose more of a challenge now, fans of rock’s golden age can still find songs of sex, drugs and rebel-lion complemented by loud electric guitars and big hair.

the Velcro Pygmies do rock like rock was meant to be done: with loud instruments, over-the-top spe-cial effects and spandex pants. the cover band’s mission is to “lead the crowd on a roller coaster trip through the eighties.” they do just that with songs like Bon Jovi’s “Dead Or Alive” and Prince’s “Pur-

ple rain.” But as hardcore as the Velcro Pygmies are, it isn’t all rock all the time for these guys. the audi-ence will also get a taste of classic country with toby Keith’s patriotic hit “courtesy of the red White and Blue” and some legendary southern rock with lynyrd skynyrd’s “Free Bird.”

If you’re jonesing for a hit of that special rock era, jump on the crazy train and head down to rhythm & Brews on saturday, June 27 at 9 p.m. to rock out with the Velcro Pygmies.

— Ashley Coker

The Velcro Pygmies Saturday, 9 p.m.Rhythm & Brews221 Market St.rhythm-brews.com

MusicMArc t. MIcHAel

The songs are well-constructed and meticulously played, while the lyrics are at once poignant and playful.”

“

Wordsmith Lives Up to Its PromiseSweet G.A. Brown combines influences of Buck Owens and…Prince?

Gosh, kids, it seems like I’ve been on a winning streak lately, getting disc after disc of brain-tickling music. It’s always eas-

ier to write about music you really enjoy and this week’s experi-ment, Wordsmith by Sweet G.A. Brown, is turning out to be a hoot and a holler. The original tunes on this album are clever, funny and musically excellent. The covers are...interesting. We’ll touch on that in a bit.

First things first. Sweet G.A. Brown is probably not this cat’s birth name. Don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter, it’s what he calls himself and it’s really the perfect name for this music. That being said, Brown is nearly a one-man show, certainly a minimalist anyway. Accord-ing to the liner notes, the “percussin’” is handled by the always-talented Dave Dowda and Husky Burnette lent some dobro and lead guitar to the project. Otherwise this is Brown’s baby, and the man has a head full of humor and licks.

My first impression was, “Buck Ow-ens.” Brown doesn’t sing like Buck, his lyrics are a tad saltier than Buck’s, his picking…Actually, there are some simi-larities in the playing style, but the com-parison is more about the overall feel of the thing. It reminds me of Buck in as much as the songs are well-constructed and meticulously played, while the lyr-ics are at once poignant and playful. I hope he has a blast playing, because it certainly sounds like it. Regardless, it’s a blast to hear.

Brown comes charging out of the gate with track one, a bright, bouncy hon-ky-tonk tune called “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg.” It is a bit of humorous bragga-docio about Brown’s many accomplish-ments. Whether he taught John Denver


Lon Eldridge of the 9th Street Stomper is set to release his much-anticipated new solo album, Long Gone, this Thurs-day evening as part of the “River City Rumpus” celebra-tion at the Hon-est Pint. Eldridge, whose jaunty mus-tache and dapper clothes are over-shadowed only by his enormous tal-ent, has compiled a collection of 10 tracks, a fairly even distribution of original songs and artfully chosen covers, including Robert Johnson’s, “Travelin’ Riverside Blues” and the Tin Pan Alley classic, “Shine On, Harvest Moon.”

Eldridge’s mastery of early 20th-century music is noth-ing short of virtuosity; that his original songs play as true and authentic as any of the vintage tunes he covers is a powerful testament to this. Recorded at Spanner Sound in Chattanooga, Long Gone is an infectious album, one that cannot help but cause toes to tap, fingers to snap, and an indelible grin to spread across your face. Originals such as “Hobo’s Blues” exemplify Lon’s triple threat: His superb songwriting (the tune could easily be a century old), his guitar prowess, and his vocal ability.

A popular performer in the local scene, it is only a mat-ter of time before Eldridge gains nationwide notoriety, and though I’ve said it before, I think it bears repeat-ing, this man and his music belong on “A Prairie Home Companion.” The album is Long Gone, the release date is Thursday, June 25, the event is “The River City Rum-pus” featuring the Subterranean Cirqus and a huge slate of special guests, and the place is the Honest Pint.

Master of Vintage Goes Solo With Long Gone

— MTM

WHERE CHATTANOOGA’S BESTARTISTS PERFORMEVERY SINGLE NIGHT!

call & book a monday night private party!

daily lunch & drink specials!

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to fly a plane and sold shotgun shells to Kurt Cobain is subject to scrutiny, but I’d really like to think he pushed Bocephus off the mountain (unfortunately turning his career around). It’s a kicking little tune, and if the lyrics were about truckstops and waitresses instead of its more tongue-in-cheek fare, it could just as easily be a tasty Willis Brothers record (there was a thing called the Grand Ole Opry, kids, look it up).

I’m going to flash forward a few songs (except to say that track two, “My Give a Damn” opens with some blistering licks that would make Jerry Reed and Chet Atkins proud)

to the title track, “Wordsmith.” Short, sweet, and hilarious, it takes a commonsense approach to some of pop music’s more nonsensical lyrics. I don’t know what the hell, “We all live in a yellow submarine” is supposed to mean, either. The shout out to Prince at the end of the tune (presaging the cover tune to come) was a nice touch.

There are 13 tracks on this album, mostly originals, but there are three cover tunes as well (for which Brown begs forgiveness from the original artists, a technique my own band has relied on from time to time). Covering John Prine is always a plus in my book, and

his version of “Will the Circle Be Unbroken” is worthy as well but it’s the cover of “Let’s Go Crazy” which sounds more like a sweaty, breathless tent-revival preacher that speaks to me the most.

The man is Sweet G.A. Brown, the album is Wordsmith, and it’s 13 tracks of infectious, guitar and lyric-driven fun. Is it country? Psychobilly? Outlaw? Who the hell cares? It’s good, really good, and you should keep your eye on Sweet G.A. Brown’s Facebook page for up-dates on his next live perfor-mance. In the meantime, check out the tunes on his Bandcamp page.


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RBackup Planet

thursday6.25 Live Bluegrass6:30 p.m.Whole Foods Market301 Manufacturers rd.wholefoodsmarket.comFeel It Thursday Open Mic7 p.m.Mocha restaurant & Music lounge511 Broad st.mochajazz.netJesse James & Tim Neal7 p.m.Mexi Wings VII5773 Brainerd rd.(423) 296-1073Moondogg Sikes, Kindora, New Planet, Rock8 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia 231 e. MlK Blvd.jjsbohemia.comOpen Mic with Hap Henninger9 p.m.the Office @ city cafe901 carter st.citycafemenu.comThe Cadillac Saints9 p.m.rhythm & Brews221 Market st.rhythm-brews.com

friday6.26

Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats5 p.m.chattanooga choo choo

1400 Market st.choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac5:30 p.m.el Meson2204 Hamilton Place Blvd.elmesonrestaurant.comBinji Varsossa6 p.m.cancun Mexican restaurant & lounge1809 Broad st. (423) 266-1461FIRE KID 7 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia 231 e. MlK Blvd.jjsbohemia.comFrom Another Planet 7 p.m.Ziggy’s underground607 cherokee Blvd.Mountain Creek House Fire7 p.m.

Miller Plaza850 Market st.nightfallchattanooga.comTim Lewis7 p.m.el Meson248 Northgate Parkelmesonchattanooga.comBackup Planet, CBDB 8 p.m.rhythm & Brews221 Market st.rhythm-brews.comLady God8 p.m.sluggo’s North501 cherokee Blvd.(423) 752-5224Amy LaVere9 p.m.Miller Plaza850 Market st.nightfallchattanooga.comThe Dawn Osborne Band

9 p.m.World of Beer412 Market st.worldofbeer.comThe Scarlet Love Conspiracy 9 p.m.the Office @ city cafe901 carter st.citycafemenu.comGeorgia Pine 10 p.m.t-Bones1419 chestnut st.tbonessportscafe.comRNR, Ragdoll10 p.m.Bud’s sports Bar5751 Brainerd rd.budssportsbar.com

saturday6.27 Jeff Miller12:30 p.m.chattanooga river Market1 Broad st.chattanoogarivermarket.comJason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats5 p.m.chattanooga choo choo1400 Market st.choochoo.comEddie Pontiac5:30 p.m.el Meson2204 Hamilton Place Blvd.elmesonrestaurant.comBinji Varsossa6 p.m.cancun Mexican restaurant & lounge1809 Broad st.

Pulse Pick: Jeff MillerA literal one-man band, Jeff uses his voice, guitar, hands and feet along with some advanced electronics to perform as each member of a regular band—a singer, guitarist, bassist, even a drummer.

Jeff Millersaturday, 12:30 p.m.chattanooga river Market1 Broad st.chattanoogarivermarket.com

LIVE MUSIC

CHATTANOOGA

JUN/JUL

7.10 & 7.11 FLY BY RADIO (TIMES TWO)7.16 UNDERHILL ROSE (FREE SHOW)

25THU9pTHE CADILLAC SAINTS

EPIC GUITAR RIFFS & SOULFUL VOCALS

BACKUP PLANET with CBDB

27SAT10pTHE VELCRO PYGMIES

CAM AND THE BOYS ARE BACK

2THU6p TORRES

TICKETS AT FLASHLIGHTSHOWS.COM

ZOSOULTIMATE LED ZEPPELIN EXPERIENCE

7SAT10p

UPTOWN BIG BAND 17 PIECE SWING BAND

9THU9pJESS GOGGINS BAND

JESS ROCKS IT LIKE A HURRICANE

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREETHOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD

BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

COMING SOON

UNKNOWN HINSONwith ROGER ALAN WADE

THE AVERAGEwith NEW PLANET & SPACETRAIN

3FRI10p

26FRI10p

FRI9p 17

SAT9p 18

FLASHLIGHTSHOWS PRESENT:


MU

SIC

CA

LEN

DA

R

Chris Stalcup & The Grange

(423) 266-1461From Another Planet6 p.m.cloud springs Deli4097 cloud springs rd., ringgoldcloudspringsdeli.comEli & Bill Perras7 p.m.charles and Myrtle’s coffeehouse105 McBrien rd.(423) 892-4960Jazzanooga Presents: The Sounds of Motown7 p.m.the camp House149 e. MlK Blvd.thecamphouse.comTim Lewis7 p.m.el Meson248 Northgate Parkelmesonchattanooga.comChris Stalcup & The Grange 8 p.m.World of Beer412 Market st.worldofbeer.comGilchrist, Nygaard & Reischman8 p.m.Barking legs theater1307 Dodds Ave.barkinglegs.orgHusky Burnette9 p.m.the Brew and cue5017 rossville Blvd.facebook.com/theBrewAndcueThe Velcro Pygmies 9 p.m.rhythm & Brews

221 Market st.rhythm-brews.comBn Nichols, James Legg9 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia 231 e. MlK Blvd.jjsbohemia.com

sunday6.28 Kofi Mawuko 12:30 p.m.chattanooga river Market1 Broad st.chattanoogarivermarket.comEmily Earle 2 p.m.chattanooga Market1829 carter st.chattanoogamarket.comOpen Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.long Haul saloon2536 cummings Hwy.(423) 822-9775Bohannons7 p.m.sluggo’s North501 cherokee Blvd.(423) 752-5224Molly Maguires 7 p.m.the Honest Pint35 Patten Pkwy.thehonestpint.comJohn Mark McMillan 8 p.m.Vineyard chattanooga6028 shallowford rd.vineyardchattanooga.comB-Snipes, IcanJapan, Big Emotions, Jesse RS9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 e. MlK Blvd.jjsbohemia.com

Monday6.29 Monday Nite Big Band7 p.m.the coconut room6925 shallowford rd.thepalmsathamilton.comOpen Mic7 p.m.Magoo’s restaurant3658 ringgold rd.facebook.com/MagoostNVery Open Mic8 p.m.the Well1800 rossville Blvd. #8wellonthesouthside.com

tuesday6.30 Bill McCallie & In Cahoots6:30 p.m.southern Belle riverboat201 riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com9th Annual Free Patriotic Organ Concert7 p.m.Memorial Auditorium399 Mccallie Ave.chattanoogamusicclub.orgRick’s Blues Jam7 p.m.Folk school of chattanooga1200 Mountain creek rd.chattanoogafolk.comAn Evening with Jack Wright 7:30 p.m.

Barking legs theater1307 Dodds Ave.barkinglegs.orgOpen Mic with Mike McDade8 p.m.tremont tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.comHammell on Trial9 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia 231 e. MlK Blvd.jjsbohemia.com

wednesday7.1 The Other Guys 6 p.m. springHill suites 495 riverfront Pkwy. (423) 834-9300Dan Sheffield7:30 p.m.sugar’s Downtown507 Broad st.sugarschattanooga.comWednesday Night Jazz8 p.m.Barking legs theater1307 Dodds Ave.barkinglegs.orgBlues Night with Yattie Westfield8 p.m.the Office @ city cafe901 carter st.citycafemenu.com

Map these locations on chatta-noogapulse.com. Send event list-ings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected]

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm$1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts,

$2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

901 Carter St. Inside City Cafe (423) 634-9191

Thursday, June 25: 9pmOpen Mic with Hap Henninger

Friday, June 26: 9pmThe Scarlet Love Conspiracy

Saturday, June 27: 10pmAndy Liechty (Atlanta, GA)

Tuesday, June 30: 7pmServer/Hotel Appreciation Night$5 Pitchers ● $2 Wells ● $1.50 Domestics

Wednesday, July 1: 8pmBlues Night feat. Yattie Westfield

citycafemenu.com/the-office

JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E MLK Blvd.423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com

JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E MLK Blvd.423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com

Thursday • June 25Moondog Silkes · Kindora

New Planet · Rock Saturday • June 27Ben Nichols (of Lucero)

James Legg Sunday • June 28B-Snipes · IcanJapan

Big Emotions · Jesse RS Monday • June 29

Comedy Show with Max Fine Tuesday • June 30

HEAVY METAL BINGO (7-9 Free) Hammell on Trial


Record ReviewsZACH NICHOLSON

Americana Meets the Blues, Summer Rock Keeps On Rockin’Emily Kate Boyd grooves and calms, Gold Plated Gold cruises

There’s a lot to say about a woman’s voice and a

good set of strings. It’s a com-bination perfectly suited for bonfires and coffeeshops, or barrooms and stadiums. Wher-ever you place it, a strong fe-male vocalist + skilled strings = a damn good time. Em-ily Kate Boyd takes it a step farther, though, and recruits some talented bandmates for her album In the Woods. And when you put a band behind Emily Kate Boyd, her song-work really comes to life.

The album feels very Amer-

icana as a whole, but draws from smooth-licked and low-toned blues, particularly on the fourth track “Baby Bird,” my personal favorite on the re-cord. Boyd’s voice exudes an easy confidence, a deep reso-nance that makes your ears hang on to her every breath.

The first half of “Baby Bird” coaxes the listener into enchantment, until the band bursts into an upbeat instru-mental jam that showcases the synergy between the strings, bass, and drums. Hell, I could easily listen to a one-

off instrumental album if it grooved like that.

In the Woods thrives off this kind of interplay of ups and downs. And though the album does draw on multiple voices and styles throughout, it has a steady coherence that guides the listener all the way to the end. And that’s my favorite thing about In the Woods. It’s a tour de force of multi-genre talent, while at the same time being a concentrated effort toward a rustic and serene sound.

While listening to In the Woods, it’s easy to close your eyes and imagine Boyd and her bandmates playing in your living room. The album is raw, there’s no smoke and mirrors here. Boyd’s strong vocals, empowered by a lively band, don’t need it.

The last track “Welcome Me Home” ends the album with Boyd’s harmonies, up-front and alone. And as the last word trails off, you feel safe and calm, as if you had finally come back home.

Chattanooga locals Gold Plated Gold released

The Liars Club a while back in 2013. I think I got my hands on it a few months later. I popped the 5-track CD into my old Rodeo and began my weekly two-hour drive to Nashville. And I listened to that album on repeat all the way there and all the way back. It was the perfect sum-mer driving music. It was row-dy punk with catchy choruses, the drums were loud and the guitars were louder. It was a damn fine summer.

And about a week ago, Gold Plated Gold released another. Hell, yes. The band released Stay Golden on June 9. It’s three tracks long, with songs clocking in a little over four minutes each. What was im-mediately obvious was that the guys in Gold Plated Gold are changing their sound. And I dig it. A lot.

Considering production, ev-erything is a bit more washed out, giving Stay Golden a more experimental feel than The

Liars Club. The drums are far-ther back, laying down hits so you know when to bump and when to bop. The guitarplay is just as skillful and catchy, but less aggressively in-your-face. There’s more focus on songwriting and the full-band sound. All in all, it’s chiller. Stay Golden is an album for cruise control at 65mph, something to sit back and sim-ply enjoy.

That being said, I doubt Gold Plated Gold is settling down. Their live shows are punk-rock intensity, filled with drum-bangin’, bass-slap-pin’, guitar-shreddin’ good-ness. So I’m looking forward to seeing them jam these songs live alongside their stuff from The Liars Club. Do what I did. Throw the album on repeat in your car, and you’ll quickly find yourself singing along to every word and drumming your hands on the steering wheel while two hours flies by and you still just want to let the album play one more time.

Emily Kate BoydIn the Woods(Arca)

Gold Plated GoldStay Golden(goldplatedfuture.bandcamp.com)

Brand New HomeSame Great Music

brewer mediaeverywhere. every day.


Diversions

Consider Thiswith Dr. Rick

“Spread love everywhere you go. let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” — mother Teresa

I was eating at a neighborhood hole in the wall recently, people-watching for entertainment. as the group sitting next to me got up to leave, one of the women saw someone she knew, walked over to her and said, “sue, you look great!” and they chatted for a bit.

a while later, when sue finished her meal, I noticed she left a very hefty tip on the table. she also made a point of thanking her server for “excellent service.” Then those two chatted for a bit, and I could hear their conversation and laughter, sounding like they were each making a new friend.

When the next couple entered the restaurant, sue’s server warmly greeted them with a big smile. (I hadn’t noticed her doing this earlier.) so I had to wonder how all these events were connected. easy to call it coincidence. But it warms my heart to believe that kindness changes the world.

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.


Chattanooga’s Greatest Hits

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In middle school, I was taught that sweet, salty, bit-ter and sour were the four cornerstones of taste. I was given a mimeographed dia-gram that used those familiar purple, blurry lines to map the tongue into four re-gions; bitter in the back, salty and sour across the center, and sweet right up on the tip of the tongue. Imagine my shock and surprise when I found out my knowledge of taste and flavor was built on a foundation of lies. Lies! LIES, I TELL YOU! Not only do our taste buds con-tain receptors for all four of the tastes mentioned above, but there is a fifth taste. A FIFTH TASTE!

In 1908, Japanese chemist Kikunae Ikeda sensed that there was something beyond the four canonized tastes in his wife’s dashi. (Dashi is a stock made from seaweed called kombu that is widely used in Japanese cooking.) Ikeda set to work and found that glutamic acid was the source of that indefinable, savory flavor he tasted in his wife’s soup. Although he had identified the component as glutamic acid, he decided to give it the Japanese name “umami,” meaning “deli-cious” or “yummy.”

While the taste receptors for sweet, salty, bitter and sour had been identified long ago, it wasn’t until 2000 that the receptors designed to de-

tect umami were confirmed. This solidified umami’s clas-sification as the fifth basic taste and cleared the way for the word’s rise to foodie buzzword stardom.

If the flavor behind umami, and particu-larly glutamic acid, seems familiar, it should. It’s been a part of the human eating ex-perience for

centuries.Glutamates are why the

ancient Romans and ancient Chinese loved the fermented fish sauces they put in just about every dish they ate. Glutamates are key to the soul-warming, umami-filled comfort of gravies, stocks, meat juices and caramelized proteins. Escoffier, the leg-endary 19th-century French chef, felt sure that a savory fifth taste was the secret of his success and it’s what turns simple corn chips into the culinary crack we know as Doritos.

Once Kikunae Ikeda ze-roed in on glutamate as the source of umami, he put his chemistry skills to work, learned how to crystallize glu-tamate from ingredients such as sugar beets, sugar cane or tapioca and founded a com-pany called Ajinomoto that began producing monosodi-um glutamate, better known as the notorious MSG. There are no mysterious soylent-esque ingredients in MSG; it wasn’t invented by Monsanto to control the teeming mass-

es, and most importantly, it is safe to consume.

Yes, there are scores of alarmist websites that will disagree with that last state-ment, and yes, I know you have a cousin who swears her heart races and head spins every time she eats MSG and yes, I know there are a (very) small number of people with actual, diagnosed glutamate sensitivity. However, the sci-ence is clear. The average person is no more likely to have a reaction to MSG than they are to eating tomatoes or parmesan cheese.

Crystalized MSG was widely used in Asia begin-ning in the early 1900s be-fore coming to the US in the ’50s. The ill-informed term “Chinese Restaurant Syn-drome” began cropping up in the US during the ’60s to de-scribe the numbness, weak-ness and palpitations some people claimed were the re-sult of eating MSG. These anecdotal stories went viral, causing consumers to avoid MSG, while manufacturers and restaurant owners began slapping “No MSG Added” labels on everything, even if the product contained other glutamate flavor enhancers.

Now, MSG is reemerging with the respect it deserves.

The renewed interest in the science of umami and a slew of research in support of MSG have prompted some chefs to embrace monosodi-um glutamate for what it is—magic umami dust. Trendset-ting chefs like David Chang of Momofuku and Adam Fleischman of Umami Burger built their culinary careers on the basis of umami and Grant Achatz, often considered one of the world’s top chefs, travels with a panda-shaped shaker of MSG for personal use.

I count myself as a MSG convert. It’s become a staple in my kitchen, much like salt, pepper and bacon grease, am-plifying and accentuating the best flavors in meat, poultry, seafood, vegetables, soups, and sauces. Although tastes will vary from person to per-son as with any seasoning or spice, about one-quarter tea-spoon of MSG to one pound of meat or four-to-six servings of vegetables or soup will give you a good place to start.

MSG doesn’t deserve the bad rap it’s gotten over the years. In fact, it can be a valu-able tool in the toolbox of any serious cook. After all, who doesn’t love a little magic umami dust every now and then?

The Notorious M.S.G.Chef Mike documents the return to favor of monosodium glutamate

Sushi &Biscuits

MIKe McJuNKIN

“There are no mysterious soylent-esque ingredients in MSG; it wasn’t invented by Monsanto to control the teeming masses, and most importantly, it is safe to consume.“

Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. Join him on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits


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It was the movie that made robert De Niro a star, and cemented direc-tor Martin scorsese in the pantheon of great American directors.

the plot of “raging Bull” is fairly straightforward: It’s the tale of Jake laMotta, an emotionally self-destruc-tive boxer, and his journey through life as the violence and temper that leads him to the top in the ring de-stroys his life outside it.

But it was far more than just a box-ing movie. De Niro’s dedication to the role—including his now-famous weight loss and gain—combined with scorsese’s incredibly intimate

direction, led to what many consider one of the best films of the era, rank-ing #24 on the America Film Insti-tute’s list of best American movies.

While controversial at the time for its violence, the film went on to get nominated for eight Academy Awards, including a Best Actor win for De Niro.

“Raging Bull”Tuesday, 7 p.m.Majestic 12311 Broad St. (423) 826-2375carmike.com

✴ ✴ ✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴ ✴ ✴

Ted 2 Newlywed couple ted and tami-lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, ted will have to prove he's a person in a court of law.Director: seth MacFarlanestars: Mark Wahlberg, seth MacFarlane, Amanda seyfried, Jessica Barth

Max A dog that helped us Marines in Af-ghanistan returns to the u.s. and is adopted by his handler's family after suffering a traumatic experience.Director: Boaz yakinstars: thomas Haden church, Josh Wiggins, luke Kleintank, lauren Graham

He Really Was A ContenderRobert De Niro stars in the ultimate boxing movie

ScreenJOHN DeVOre

In addition to being an arcade for the indie gamer, the Coin Op is going to work with MES and the CFF to provide a space for screenings, giving MES something of a home for the time being.”

“

RE-CREATION HAS ALWAYS BEEN PART OF A FASCINA-tion with film. I don’t know many movie fans who have not at

some point, especially as children, acted out their favorite scenes in their backyard.

Mise En Scenesters Resurfaces With “The Wolfpack”New venue The Coin Op will provide another screening space in September

There was a family in my neighbor-hood who had filmed a homemade re-creation of “Stars Wars” on a camcorder (with a few scenes from “The Princess Bride” thrown in) entirely with their ac-tion figures. Many of the scenes were improvised, making their home movie as funny and engaging as children could make it.

Before the internet, before the need for constant stimulation, children were often allowed to be bored and forced to entertain themselves. This leads to creativity and self-reliance, something kids need to grow into themselves as adults. Absence of direction, it seems, is as important as unique experience. But absence can go too far. Such is the subject of “The Wolfpack,” the first film in the Chattanooga Film Festival’s sum-mer series.

“The Wolfpack” tells the story of sev-en brothers and a sister who are locked in a Lower East Side Manhattan apart-ment for 14 years by their father. The siblings are homeschooled, only allowed outside once or twice a year on struc-tured trips that are controlled entirely by the man who holds all the power.

As a result of their confinement, the children know almost nothing of the outside world. What they do know comes from the films they watch. When the oldest brother turns 15, he disobeys his father and ventures out into their neighborhood. Soon after, the other sib-


and

presents the

“Swing for Kids” Charity Golf Tournament

to benefit

Chattanooga’s Kids on the Block

Friday, August 7at Canyon Ridge

Golf Club inRising Fawn, GAGet all the details and information on how to enter or become a

sponsor of the event at espnchattanooga.com

lings follow. The family begins to inter-act with the outside world.

They cope by using the only experi-ence they have—they re-enact scenes from their favorite movies. “The Wolf-pack” won the Grand Jury Prize at Sun-dance and has been described as “a haunting urban fable.”

Debuting at The Camp House on June 26, “The Wolfpack” is the begin-ning of a partnership between Mise En Scenesters and the Chattanooga Film Festival to continue to bring films to the city that would not come here other-wise. It is a complicated and expensive process. There is no doubt that MES screenings have declined in number as the film festival gained steam and direc-tor Chris Dortch found himself pulled in multiple directions.

But more than that, the remodeling of Barking Legs Theater and the absence of appropriate venues for screenings has been something of a struggle for MES. It seems venues in Chattanooga charge exorbitant prices for usage of their space, or have strange requests or rules for screenings, making programming rather difficult.

However, Dortch continues to move forward with his vision for Chattanooga film. “Both in terms of fundraising and in a growing level of awareness of CFF, I’ll be the first to admit I continue to be shocked every time someone has heard of CFF and thinks it’s exciting. It’s mostly just bizarre because all this started in my living room,” he says.

MES and the CFF are still looking for a home, somewhere to show the best independent films in the country to a crowd of people starving for those experiences. Thanks to Brian Hennen,

another MES and CFF alum and staff member, there is some movement on that front.

Hennen is in the opening stages of a new arcade to be located near JJ’s Bo-hemia and the Bitter Alibi called The Coin Op. Hennen says, “The Coin-Op is going to be a melding of the sweet nostalgia that is the retro arcade and the creative forward thinking of the independent development community.

“From classic cabinets and pinball to indie game spotlights, I hope to create a dream hangout for the amazing and fast-growing tech community in this town.” In addition to being an arcade for the indie gamer, the Coin Op is go-ing to work with MES and the CFF to provide a space for screenings, giving MES something of a home for the time being.

According to Dortch, “Hennen and I are big video game nerds as well, and the idea for the space is that in addition to being a traditional bar/arcade that there will also be a big stripe of doing good for indie software developers.”

The time line for the opening of Coin Op is September, but once it opens, MES and the CFF will have an-other avenue to exist, which is nothing but a positive for local film (and local gamers as well). It’s an exciting time in Chattanooga. See “The Wolfpack” on June 26. Visit the Coin Op in Septem-ber. Support local film.

“The Wolfpack” Friday, June 26, 8 p.m.$5 in advance, $7 at the door The Camphouse149 E. MLK Blvd.mesfilmclub.com


Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of cu-riosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspec-tive to his work. It’s all in the stars.

CAnCeR (June 21-July 22): In its early days, the band Depeche Mode had the infi-nitely boring name

Composition of Sound. Hum-phrey Bogart’s and Ingrid Bergman’s classic 1942 film Casablanca was dangerously close to being called Every-body Come to Rick’s. And before Charles Dickens pub-lished his novel Bleak House, a scathing critique of the 19th-century British judicial system, he considered eleven other possible titles, including the unfortunate Tom-all-Alone’s. The Solitary House that was al-ways shut up and never Light-ed. I bring this to your atten-tion, Cancerian, as the seeding phase of your personal cycle gets underway. The imprints you put on your budding cre-ations will have a major impact on their future. Name them well. Give them a potent start.

leO (July 23-Aug. 22): One summer afternoon when I was seven years old, my friend Billy and I grabbed

an empty jar from my kitchen and went looking for ants. Near the creek we found an anthill swarming with black ants, and scooped a bunch of them in the jar. A little later we came upon a caravan of red ants, and shoved many of them in with the black ants. Would they fight? Natu-rally. It was mayhem. Looking back now, I’m sorry I partici-pated in that stunt. Why stir up a pointless war? In that spirit, Leo, I urge you to avoid unnec-essary conflicts. Don’t do any-thing remotely comparable to putting red ants and black ants in the same jar.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In order for everyone in your sphere to meet their appointed destinies, you must

cultivate your skills as a party animal. I’m only slightly jok-ing. At least for now, it’s your destiny to be the catalyst of conviviality, the ringleader of the festivities, the engineer of fun and games. To fulfill your assignment, you may have to instigate events that encourage your allies to leave their com-fort zones and follow you into the frontiers of collaborative amusement.

lIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Your symbolic object of the week is a magic wand. I recommend that you visualize

yourself as the star of a fairy tale in which you do indeed have a wand at your disposal. See yourself wielding it to carry out a series of fantastic tricks, like materializing a pile of gold coins or giving your-self an extraordinary power to concentrate or creating an en-chanted drink that allows you to heal your toughest wound. I think this playful imaginative exercise will subtly enhance your ability to perform actual magic in the real world.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The taskmaster planet Saturn wove its way through the sign of Scorpio from

October 2012 until the end of 2014. Now it has slipped back into your sign for a last hur-rah. Between now and mid-September. I urge you to milk its rigorous help in every way you can imagine. For example, cut away any last residues of trivial desires and frivolous am-bitions. Hone your focus and streamline your self-discipline. Once and for all, withdraw your precious energy from activities that waste your time and resist your full engagement. And if you’re serious about capital-izing on Saturn’s demanding gifts, try this ritual: Write ei-ther “I will never squander my riches” or “I will make full use of my riches” 20 times—whichever motivates you most.

SAGITTARIuS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The advanced lessons on tap in the coming days are not for the squeamish,

the timid, the lazy, or the stub-born. But then you’re not any of those things, right? So there shouldn’t be a major problem. The purpose of these subter-ranean adventures and divine interventions is to teach you to make nerve-racking leaps of faith, whether or not you be-lieve you’re ready. Here’s one piece of advice that I think will help: Don’t resist and resent the tests as they appear. Rath-er, welcome them as blessings you don’t understand yet. Be alert for the liberations they will offer.

CAPRICORn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Man’s being is like a vast mansion,” observed philoso-pher Colin Wilson,

“yet he seems to prefer to live in a single room in the base-ment.” Wilson wasn’t just refer-ring to Capricorns. He meant everybody. Most of us commit the sin of self-limitation on a regular basis. That’s the bad news. The good news, Capri-corn, is that you’re entering a time when you’re more likely to rebel against the unconscious restrictions you have placed on yourself. You will have ex-tra motivation to question and overrule the rationales that you used in the past to inhibit your primal energy. Won’t it be fun to venture out of your basement nook and go explore the rest of your domain?

AQuARIuS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “An obscure moth from Latin America saved Australia’s pas-ture-land from the

overgrowth of cactus,” writes biologist Edward O. Wilson. “A Madagascar ‘weed,’ the rosy periwinkle, provided the cure for Hodgkin’s disease and child-hood leukemia,” he adds, while “a chemical from the saliva of leeches dissolves blood clots during surgery,” and a “Nor-wegian fungus made possible the organ transplant industry.” I think these are all great meta-phors for the kind of healing that will be available for you in the coming weeks, Aquarius: humble, simple, seemingly in-significant things whose power to bring transformation has, up until now, been secret or un-known.

PISCeS (Feb. 19-March 20): “She is hard to tempt, as everything seems to please her equally,” said art-

ist Anne Raymo in describing a hedonistic acquaintance. A similar statement may soon ap-ply to you, Pisces. You will have a talent for finding amusement in an unusually wide variety of phenomena. But more than that: You could become a con-noisseur of feeling really good. You may even go so far as to break into a higher octave of pleasure, communing with ex-otic phenomena that we might call silken thrills and spicy bliss and succulent revelry.

ARIeS (March 21-April 19): During my regu-lar hikes along my favorite trails, I’ve gotten to know the

local boulders quite intimately. It might sound daft, but I’ve come to love them. I’ve even given some of them names. They symbolize stability and constancy to me. When I gaze at them or sit on them, I feel my own resolve grow stronger. They teach me about how to be steadfast and unflappable in all kinds of weather. I draw inspi-ration from the way they are so purely themselves, forever true to their own nature. Now would be an excellent time for you to hang out with your own stony allies, Aries. You could use a boost in your ability to express the qualities they embody.

TAuRuS (April 20-May 20): “Everyone is a ge-nius at least once a year,” wrote Ger-man aphorist Georg

Christoph Lichtenberg. “The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.” According to my astrological analysis, Taurus, your once-a-year explosion of genius is imminent. It’s even possible you will experience a series of eruptions that continue for weeks. The latter scenario is most likely if you unleash the dormant parts of your intel-ligence through activities like these: having long, rambling conversations with big think-ers; taking long, rambling walks all over creation; enjoying long, rambling sex while listening to provocative music.

GeMInI (May 21-June 20): “I think if we didn’t contradict ourselves, it would be awfully boring,” says author

Paul Auster. “It would be te-dious to be alive.” But he goes even further in his defense of inconsistency, adding, “Chang-ing your mind is probably one of the most beautiful things people can do.” This bold as-sertion may not apply to ev-eryone all the time, but it does for you in the coming weeks, Gemini. You should feel free to explore and experiment with the high art of changing your mind. I dare you to use it to generate extravagant amounts of beauty.

Free Will Astrology ROB BREZSNy

“Homework: You know what to do and you know when to do it. Provide the evidence that this is true. FreeWillAstrology.com


Copyright © 2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0733

ACROSS1 Arachnid abodes5 ___ San Lucas9 Exam for jrs.13 “It’s a dry ___”14 Become best buds?15 “It’s ___ Quiet” (Bjork remake)16 Air France airport17 Bubbly Nestle bars across the pond18 Taken-back auto19 Daniel Defoe’s “___ Flanders”20 Chess closer21 Completely crush a final exam22 NFL’s Patriots?25 Gator tail?27 “Chandelier” singer28 “Antony and Cleopatra” killer29 Jenny with a diet program31 “Oh, for Pete’s ___”34 “Bleh!”37 Garbage bags for an action star?41 Inflationary

figure, for short42 DVR button43 Extremely cold44 Get, as the bad guy46 Note a fifth higher than do48 Mid-seasons occurrence?49 Digit for a bizarre MTV host?55 It’s just an expression56 Rug-making need57 TV talking horse, for short60 Classic TV kid, with “The”61 “___ bet?”62 “Fame” actress and singer Irene63 Bachelor finale?64 “Card Players Quarreling” artist Jan65 “The ___-Bitsy Spider”66 Leonine outburst67 “West Side Story” faction68 Say no to

DOWN1 “For ___ the Bell Tolls”2 Dulles Airport terminal designer Saarinen3 Members of the major leagues4 French pen, or LG smartphone5 Oxy competitor6 Heart hookup7 Showed disapproval8 Yoga class chants9 Prickly critter10 Actor Charlie or Martin11 Jellied garnish12 Canine, e.g.14 Disney classic of 194221 Crunch targets23 Catholic title, for short24 “New Soul” singer ___ Naim25 “America’s Got Talent” feature26 Release, like

a rap album30 Turning into a hockey rink, e.g.32 Busy-bee link33 Arch holders35 Observe36 Caitlyn’s ex38 Stand ___ Counted (U.K. news site for millennials)39 Inuit word for “house”40 ‘60s activist gp.45 Common tat locale47 “Yeesh ...”49 River near the Vatican50 “___ Billie Joe”51 Mazda roadster52 Bring delight to53 Trio of trios54 89 years from now, in the credits58 Beginning for “while”59 “The Banana Boat Song” opener61 Banker’s newspaper, for short

Jonesin’ Crossword MATT jONES

“A Bit of Foolery”—remember who comes first.

Pastor NeededCalvary Korean Baptist Church, Inc.

M.A. requiredSend resume to

1512 McBrien Rd. Chattanooga, Tennessee 37412

IT’S BACK!

musts and mustn’ts:

• Entries must be NO LONGER than 500 words, must never have been published before, and must include a title.

• Only one entry per writer.

• Submit as Microsoft Word document, and include your name and contact info on the document.

• Finalists will be published in the July 23rd issue of The Pulse.

short story contestsubmissions due by: Friday, July 10, 2015

send to: [email protected] only


Darkness had settled in when I glided to a halt in a dimly lit parking lot next to a large cheaply made build-ing covered in an expensive brick veneer, and I didn’t even realize I was smiling until my lips actually part-ed into a full grin. It was a rare trip across town to a place I hadn’t been in years.

S u i t e G-30 at 5600 Brainerd Road has had an interesting past. Not a “good” interesting like the Read House or the Hunt-er Museum; more like an “Overlook Hotel from The Shining” kind of interesting, right down to the hideous nekkid lady from Room 237.

Through the same poorly tinted windows, with the use of a flashlight I could see the interior of the suite that had been our first po-lice precinct. It had been gutted from wall to wall and there wasn’t even a ceiling left, which made me won-der where the nearly sen-tient black mold in the ven-tilation systems had been forced to move on to.

My time here was brief but very impressionable; I was a baby then, a fledgling to the dark blue polyester I’m wearing even as I type, but I don’t even have to

close my eyes to remember how it used to look. Oh, I have an uncanny memory, sure, but in this case I re-membered mostly because it looked as shitty then as it looked now, only with far fewer police cars in the park-ing lot (as mine was now the

only one).The lobby

used to be manned by a human being who was eventu-

ally put back into a district, since answering 911 calls turned out to be more im-portant than the five people that walked in the door at the back of a mall each year for a police report to be made. Patrol supervisors used to marvel in the back hallway at having their own office since burglary and robbery detectives were never moved out there as planned, and a locker room was built towards the end for a workout room that never materialized (unlike the aforementioned black mold). It was an experiment that was never budgeted for in an era where change for the sake of change was embraced, and eventually abandoned like the precinct itself.

One particular office had a sliding glass door and the walls were carpeted in gray, and just outside was a light

built from parts from Radio Shack that had the words “On Air” taped to it in handwritten bubble-letters. It had been a DJ booth for one of the best rock stations to ever grace this town, “Fox 102.3,” and the stories from those days are now lo-cal media legend. But it is a well-known scientific fact that prior to the deregula-tion and corporate takeover and eventual automation of “non-personality-driven radio,” actual human DJs then were perverts and de-generates and the atrocities that took place here were both legend and representa-tive of the Kenobian phrase of “never finding a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.” So imagine the irony of such an Indian buri-al ground becoming a police precinct? It was perfect.

From this parking lot I could see the street where I got my first write up. (I stood on a street while some-one served a misdemeanor warrant after 11 p.m. I was never interviewed, and pro-nounced guilty of “conduct unbecoming” in an inves-

tigation I never knew was taking place, and warned of more serious punishment up to and including termi-nation, without ever being told what my conduct was in either sentence of the ge-neric letterhead from the IA captain.)

It was also the parking lot where I said goodbye to a veteran officer at shift change. I watched him pass on from this earth a mere 45 minutes later on Amnicola Highway, his hand in mine, after a tragic car wreck.

And best of all…I could still see the Krispy Kreme across the street…where they had built a police pre-cinct across from a dough-nut shop.

It was a hole in the wall, almost literally, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love it like a cheap first car.

I left that wretched spot and carried on one last old tradition from there: Pass-ing by the doughnut shop, I’d always refused to stop in after nearly driving through the center of it.

But that is literally a sto-ry…for another day.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not pa-trolling our fair city on the heels of the crimi-nal element, he spends his spare time volun-teering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

A Police Time Capsule, Complete With Mold

On The Beat

AleX teAcH

Officer Alex revisits the site of his earliest days in blue

“And best of all…I could still see the Krispy Kreme across the street…where they had built a police precinct across from a doughnut shop.”


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the pulse 12.26 » june 25, 2015

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