the pulse 11.43 » october 23, 2014

ARTS

pops musicbob beRnhARdT

MUSIC

NasoalmogeT ReCoRdIng

SCReen

fiNcherhAS IT hIS wAy

By Janis Hashe & Louis Lee

New visioNsNew hopesame lovemcKamey and the humane educational society look ahead

The PulseCHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE OCTOBER 23, 2014

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chaTTanoogaPulse.com • october 23-29, 2014 • The Pulse • 3

Contents

THE FINE PRINT: the Pulse is published weekly by Brewer media and is distributed throughout the city of chattanooga and surrounding communities. the Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. the Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. no person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. the Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. contents copyright © 2014 by Brewer media. all rights reserved.

Features4 beGINNINGS: The Memphis Belle visits the Collegedale Airport Sunday.

14 reVIeWS: The Iscariots growl and party, Jess Goggans sizzles.

15 HALLoWeeN GUIDe

18 tecH: A conversation with David Weinberger about the future.

24 ScreeN: David Fincher’s “Gone Girl” has it both ways.

26 MIXoLoGY: Three Witches’ Guide to Halloween cocktails.

28 Free WILL AStroLoGY

29 JoNeSIN’ croSSWorD

30 oN tHe beAt: Officer Alex spends a morning visiting his people.

The PulseCHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIALManaging editor gary Poole

contributing editor Janis hashe

contributorsRich Bailey • Thom Benson

Rob Brezsny • madeline chamblissJohn DeVore • matt Jones

Janis hashe • Josh lang • louis leemarc T. michael • ernie Paik

Rick Pimental-habib • alex Teach

editorial Internsmaggie hanna • Zach nicholson

Rachael Poe

cartoonists & IllustratorsRick Baldwin • max cannon

Jen sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

Founded 2003 by Zachary cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISINGDirector of Sales mike Baskin

Account executives chee chee Brown • Julie Brown

craig glass • Rick leavell • lisa mcVay chester sharp • stacey Tyler

CONTACT offices

1305 carter st. chattanooga, Tn 37402

Phone423.265.9494

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Website chattanoogapulse.com

email [email protected]

BREWER MEDIA GROUPPublisher & President Jim Brewer II

october 23, 2014Volume 11, Issue 43

6 New Visions, New HopesMcKamey’s Jamie McAloon Lampman has spent a life helping animals, while the Humane Educational Society benefits from

Bob Citrullo’s discipline and compassion.

10 Top of the Pops With BobArthur Fiedler brought the Boston Pops into the modern era by showcasing not only the work of young American composers and

arrangers but also music by popular artists of the day.

20 Your Turn on the TurntableNaSoAlMo has a similar idea as NaNoWriMo, where musicians

each create and record a solo album (defined as being a minimum of 29 minutes long—the length of the first Ramones

album) during the month of November.

5348 Highway 153 at Hixson Pike • Chattanooga • www.MarshallMizeFord.com

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NEWS • VIEWS • RANTS • RAVESUPDATES » chaTTanoogaPulse.com FACEBOOk/chaTTanoogaPulse

eMAIL loVe leTTeRs, aDVIce & TRash TalK To [email protected]

The Flying Fortress of HistoryThe legendary bomber Memphis Belle visits Collegedale Airport

Today, fewer than 100 airframes still exist, and less than a dozen are airworthy.”

“Museums are usually on the ground. And

indoors. And quiet. The Memphis Belle is none of those things. It flies, in the high fresh air and is definitely loud.

By Merriam-Webster’s definition, muse-ums are institutions “devoted to the pro-curement, care, study, and display of objects of lasting interest or value.” Museums also house objects that are rare and/or unique. The Memphis Belle certainly fits those cri-teria.

During the years 1935-1945, 12,732 B-17s were built at a cost of more than a quarter-million dollars each. At the peak of produc-tion, 16 “Flying Fortresses” were produced each day. Of the original number, 4,735 were lost in battle. Today, fewer than 100 airframes still exist, and less than a dozen

are airworthy. That certainly qualifies as rare and/or unique.

The plane visiting this week at the Collegedale Airport had a different life from that of the origi-nal Memphis Belle, now in storage near Dayton, Ohio, awaiting restoration. The original “Belle” was the first B-17 to complete all 25 scheduled

bombing missions and bring every c r e w m e m b e r back with little more than a few scratches. The ship herself took

many terrible beatings, including losing engines, but the ground crews kept patching her up and sending her out. Eventually she would fly more than 20,000 miles over France, Belgium and Ger-many, dropping in excess of 60 tons of ordinance, staying airborne more than 148 hours.

After WWII, she was sold to the City of Mem-phis for $350. For years she was on display at the National Guard Armory where time, weathering and vandals took their toll. In 2004, the Air Force reclaimed the old girl, now housed at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base.

“Our” Memphis Belle was built too late in the war to see combat, but had a storied life as well. The “Movie” Memphis Belle served mostly in transport capacities until 1959, when she was mustered out of service and sold, eventually, to Fast Way Air of Long Beach, California, where she was re-fitted to fight not wars, but forest fires. From 1960 until 1978, she was a water tanker, car-rying 18,000 gallons of water over wildfires in the western U.S.

Following her firefighting career, she was sold to the Military Aircraft Restoration Corporation where she was returned to wartime fit. That’s

when she entered show business. She was cast to play the original Memphis Belle in the 1990 movie of the same name.

Today, she is part of the Liberty Foundation’s efforts to “Salute the Troops” by visiting cities around the country, keeping the story of the B-17 alive as well as the stories of the “Greatest Generation” who used these machines to save the world, and of the men and women who built these planes.

To climb on board is to take a trip back more than 70 years, when crews of ten young men crammed into her fuselage along with 8,000 pounds of bombs. Many of the crew manned the 13.50-caliber machine guns mounted on all sides of the ship, giving it the nickname “Flying Fortress.”

Today, you can fly in this living museum and experience the thrill of glimpsing the past, hearing the sounds our fathers and grandfa-thers heard…smelling the greased metal and burning fuel…seeing the world through a glass turret, down the barrel of a Browning. This, friends, is like no other mu-seum experience in the world.

- - - -Come see the Memphis Belle

this Sunday, Oct. 26, at the Col-legedale Municipal Airport, 5100 Bess Moore Rd., from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Call (918) 340-0243 to sched-ule your flight.

NewsLouis Lee

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EdiToonby Rick Baldwin

The Passing Of A Local Broadcasting Legend

This week’s cover story on the McK-amey Animal Shelter is

by Contributing Editor Janis Hashe. Janis has been both a staff editor and a freelance writer/editor for more than 25 years. Her work has ap-peared in the Los Angeles Times, the Atlanta Journal-

Constitution, AmericanStyle magazine, Sunset magazine, and the international maga-zine Monocle, among many other outlets. She has a mas-ter’s degree in theatre arts, is the founder of Shakespeare Chattanooga and a member of the Chattanooga Zen Group. Her novel “The Ex-Club Tong Pang” was published in December of last year (we think it’s a great novel, but we may be just a wee bit bi-ased). Pick up a copy today.

Janis HasheThis week’s cover story on the Humane Educa-tional

Society is by Louis Lee, who has been involved in journal-ism dating back to his days on the high school newspaper staff. After a stint in the U.S. Navy, he worked for a weekly newspaper in Baton Rouge,

then returned to college for formal training in television news. He came to the Ten-nessee Valley in 1991 to work for WDEF-TV as a video-journalist, a reporter who shoots his own stories. While working in the media and raising a family, Louis gave back to his community by vol-unteering as a reserve deputy sheriff in Bradley County. Louis is now an award-win-ning documentary filmmaker and freelance journalist.

Louis Lee

For the first time in 74 years, Chattanoogans will not be able to turn on their radios or televisions and be entertained, informed and comforted by the friendli-est voice on the airwaves. The passing of Luther Ma-singill at the age of 92 this past Sunday night has left an unfillable hole in the hearts of generations.

Starting on New Year’s Eve in 1940, Lu-ther was a mainstay on WDEF radio (with the exception of his time spent as a reporter during World War II). And when television

came to the city in 1954, Luther was there to sign on WDEF-TV 12.

The word “legend” is thrown around a lot these days, largely misused. Not in the case of Luther. No one has ever worked as long as he did for the same radio station (and in the

same time slot, at that) as he did. The for-mat of the station has changed many times over the years. AM dominance gave way to the FM band, and it has physically moved and been remodeled many times since 1940.

But Luther was there through it all. He reported on Pearl Harbor, the assas-

sination of President Kennedy, Neil Arm-strong’s landing on the moon, the rise and fall of the Berlin Wall, and the attack of 9/11. In between, he helped reunite thou-sands upon thousands of lost pets with their worried owners. It may seem quaint, it may seem old-fashioned, but Luther never lost touch with the personal connection that made his friends and listeners love him so much.

There will never be another like him. And we are all richer for having known him.

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New Leash on Life at McKameyCenter’s Jamie McAloon Lampman has spent a life helping animalsBy Janis Hashe Photogaphy by Louis Lee

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“Lampman is also deeply committed to making sure humane owners can keep their pets even in difficult circumstances.”

Lampman was appointed McKamey’s executive director after a national search. Previously, she’d spent nine years as director of the Ingham County Animal Control and Shelter in Mason, Michigan. “It’s been my career to go to shelters that need to be re-created in some ways,” she says, noting that McKamey already had the advantages of a brand-new facility and some thriving programs. “But there were challenges,” she says, alluding to the center’s well-publicized board/administrative disputes.

“We want to make sure we have a good working relationship with the city,” Lampman says. “It’s our mission to be servants of the community.” Specifically, she cites a major goal of reducing the number of homeless animals in Chattanooga. “It’s the biggest

thing you can do to eliminate [all other problems],” she says.

Another focus is on bringing McKamey’s services to those who cannot come to the center. “We’re bringing spay/neuter and food bank services into communities where many people may have transportation difficulties,” she explains. “We have opportunities available for free spay and neuter—but that doesn’t matter if we can’t get the animals and their owners here. So we’re going to them.” McKamey now also has expanded hours, including Saturday, which means more people can take advantage of the center, including visiting to adopt pets.

McKamey’s animal control officers are going into the field and talking to community members who may never have, for example, lived with a dog not kept on a

chain. “We talk to them about other ways to take care of their pets and in some cases, provide collars and leashes,” she says.

Lampman is also deeply committed to making sure humane owners can keep their pets even in difficult circumstances. She cites the case of a basset hound that was hit by a car and required vet services beyond the capacity of the owner to afford. Giving the dog up was a heartbreaking choice—but McKamey was able to help find veterinary help and food through the Angel Food Fund, and the owner was able to keep their beloved dog.

During the Patten Towers emergency, McKamey personnel discovered that almost every pet in the facility needed vet care, she says, and the center now regularly sends volunteer vet help to the

sme the pitbull is chewing on toys in Jamie McAloon Lampman’s office at McKamey Animal Center. Lampman, who became executive director of the center last February, is spending socializing time with Esme, who was rescued from a breeding/fighting operation somewhere in Chattanooga. Despite the pitbull’s sad past, she’s lively and loving, licking a visitor’s hand and asking to be petted.


>> P. 9

“McKamey now also has expanded hours, including Saturday,

which means more people can take advantage of the center,

including visiting to adopt pets.”

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facility to address the problems.Though McKamey also has an

enthusiastic non-vet volunteer group, more help can always be used, Lampman says, and those interested can volunteer for specific jobs, such as dog walking, or helping to care for cats.

Asked whether she feels the situation for animals in Chattanooga is improving, she considers. “There are hot spots,” she says. “We have zero tolerance for malicious treatment of animals and abusers are going to jail.” McKamey maintains an anonymous tipline for people to report animal abuse, including dog fighting, and every tip will be followed up. (Call 423-305-6505 to report suspected abuse.)

Lampman’s goal is no more Esmes needing rescue from abysmal conditions.

October is both Adopt a Shelter Dog Month, and Feral Cat Month. Last year, Lampman says, McKamey took in 2,200 feral cats, neutered and spayed them and

returned them to their habitats, and would like to increase that number by 1,000 this year. This is the widely accepted method of reducing the feral cat population, as they will not then continue to have litters in the wild. Contact McKamey if you’d like to adopt a loving dog in need of a home, or would like to learn more about the “trap/neuter/release” program.

And golfers, get out your clubs: Nov. 4 is the Lexus Champions for Charity Golf Tournament to benefit McKamey, held at the Council Fire Golf Club.

Author’s note: This article is

dedicated to lifelong animal lover and McKamey Animal Center supporter Betsy Bramlett, who passed away on Oct. 8, 2014. Donations can be made to McKamey in her memory at mckameyanimalcenter.org, or mailed to 4500 N. Access Rd., Chattanooga 37415. Call the center at (423) 305-6500.

4500 N. Access Rd.(423) 305-6500

Mon-Fri: 9 a.m. – 5 p.m.Sat & Sun Closed

mckameyanimalcenter.orgfacebook.com/McKameyAnimalCenter

McKamey Animal center

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A Veteran Animal LoverThe Humane Educational Society of Chattanooga benefits from Bob Citrullo’s discipline and compassionstory and photos by Louis Lee

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“He’s instituted a progressive plan to get animals healthy and behaviorally stable so that they can leave and lead better lives.”

The HES has had a roller-coaster history in the city of Chattanooga, and was on the rise again when its beloved director, Guy Bilyeu, was killed suddenly in a bicycle accident last year. But faced with a radical disruption, the Society would benefit from a man whose entire life seems to have been leading to this place.

A 25-year veteran of the United States Army, Bob Citrullo is a restless soul. Even in the Army, he started out in the infantry, moved on to aviation—and finally got his nursing degree. Then, even before he retired from the Army, Cutrillo began working with animals. He was asked to serve on the board of directors of a shelter in Pennsylvania, where he was stationed at the time. In time spent with shelter pets and people responsible for them, Citrullo learned much about the human/companion animal relationship.

Once discharged, Citrullo got

a job running a shelter in Northeast Georgia. When he arrived, 96 percent of the animals taken in were killed. For an animal lover like Citrullo, that was a hard statistic to swallow. Using what he had learned in Pennsylvania and some creative thinking of his own, he reduced the “kill ratio” to 32 percent.

Fast forward to Chattanooga. Citrullo returned to the South because he felt this is where he was needed most. In the Northeast, “Their laws and ordinances and their spay/neuter programs have been so successful for so many years,” Citrullo says, “that you would go into a shelter and there wasn’t even a puppy on

the floor.”While the kill ratio in

Chattanooga was nowhere near that of the shelter in Georgia, Citrullo says only 70 percent of the pets at HES made it out alive when he arrived. “Now, last month we were 86.6 percent,” he says. Citrullo says the only animals that don’t have a chance are highly aggressive or terminally ill pets that just can’t be adopted out.

He’s instituted a progressive plan to get animals healthy and

he old brick buildings on Highland Park were not built to be a place to house homeless pets, but they have served in that capacity for many years now. They are the home of the Humane Educational Society, a nonprofit shelter for animals abandoned for any number of reasons. The numbers are staggering—but so is the effort to keep as many pets alive as possible. regardless of the limitations of time and money.


“Once in the system, Citrullo says he goes the extra mile to ensure the

animal is cared for medically, including vaccinations and even surgery, if needed.”

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behaviorally stable so that they can leave and lead better lives. Pets arrive at the shelter one of three ways: Owner surrender, stray or apprehension by an animal control officer.

Once in the system, Citrullo says he goes the extra mile to ensure the animal is cared for medically, including vaccinations and even surgery, if needed. The cost is worth it. “When an animal comes in injured, we don’t just give up on it,” says Citrullo, “We treat heartworm animals here, we work on behaviors that can be modified and make them a good companion animal.

“I heard this when I started here: ‘Oh, it’s an HES dog, it’s going to have worms.’ I didn’t like that,” growls Citrullo. “It’s very simple to take care of, but we have to stay on top of it.”

In addition to the three ways in which animals arrive at HES, there are also three ways out: Euthanasia, adoption or transportation. Citrullo says that with spay/neuter programs so effective in the Northeast, there is actually a “pet desert” there.

Now, HES animals are often transported to shelters there if they can’t find suitable adoptive families here. PetSmart Charities alone transported more than 300 pets during September.

As with any nonprofit, money is always a factor in how they do business. Forty percent of the Society’s million dollar-plus budget comes from a contract with Hamilton County for providing animal control services.

The other 60 percent comes from donations and volunteers. There are 23 paid staff members at HES. But there are upwards of 30 docent-level volunteers. indispensable by virtue of their expertise, and as many as 250 key volunteers who perform tasks such as walking the dogs and just spending time with the pets.

Citrullo wants to do as much as he can for the pets but admits budgeting is a concern. “I have to balance that out,” he says, “or raise money for [the higher level of care]. But lifesaving of an animal that would otherwise be put down, that, with intervention, would be fine...I say we do that.”

212 N Highland Park Ave.(423) 624-5302

Mon-Sat: 11 a.m. – 5 p.m.Closed on Sunday

www.heschatt.comwww.facebook.com/heschatt

Humane educational Society of chattanooga


fri10.24DO THE HUSTLE

River City Hustlersif you have a craving for dirty, sexy, blues rockin’ music then head out to Ziggy’s for the musical satisfaction that the Hustlers always deliver.9 p.m.Ziggy’s Underground607 Cherokee Blvd.(423) 265-8711

sat10.25IT’S NOT FRANk

Dank SinatraThey continually push themselves to create a unique sound that is more concerned with feeling and intensity than with conformity.9 p.m.Rhythm & Brews221 Market St.rhythm-brews.com

thu10.23WORLD EATERS

Jimmy Eat WorldThe Arizona-based modern rock outfit is celebrating their tenth anniversary with a tour in support of their latest album, “Damage”.8 p.m.Track 291400 Market St.track29.co

Musicians each create and record a solo album (defined as being a minimum of 29 minutes long) during November.”

“

Your Turn on the Turntable

Musicernie PAik

Then I remembered NaSoAlMo (na-soalmo.org), which stands for National Solo Album Month. Inspired by Na-tional Novel Writing Month (NaNoWri-Mo), where participants are challenged to complete a novel in the month of No-vember, NaSoAlMo has a similar idea, where musicians each create and record a solo album (defined as being a mini-mum of 29 minutes long—the length of the first Ramones album) during No-vember.

You might think, “One month? How could this album be good at all?” That’s not the point. The point is getting off your caboose and creating something.

Now, this assumes that you have some musical experience. Let’s first ad-dress the numerous people I have heard say, “I wish I played an instrument.”

response 1: It’s never too late.I know a woman in her nineties who

plays the drums; while that alone is remarkable, what’s also notable is that she started playing when she was in her nineties. Another thing: She rides a wheelchair.

response 2: Don’t make excuses.Everybody is “busy.” But, unless

you are extraordinarily burdened, you can make time. Give up one television show. Put down your smartphone. If you schedule music into your life, ev-erything else will rearrange around it.

bonus response: Don’t get hung up regarding gear.

celebrating A Vibrant VenueTime to party down for eight years of JJ’s Bohemia

A favorite local venue at 231 e. MLk Boulevard is turning eight years old this year. Come out to JJ’s Bohemia on oct. 25 to catch tons of great bands and an awesome crowd as we celebrate JJ’s phenomenal success.

JJ’s operator John shoemaker has been an outstanding supporter of the Chattanooga music scene and has always opened his doors to up-and-coming local talent. in fact, it has almost become tradition for lo-cal bands to pass through JJ’s Bohe-mia on their way through the Chat-tanooga scene.

The crowd is always friendly, the bartenders sexy, and the beer cold. if you’re coming to JJ’s, you’re having a damn good time. And the best part

is that John books shows almost ev-ery night of every week, so there’s al-ways some life going on in the scene.

This saturday night, we’ll see Be-hold the Brave, James Legg, Big kitty, F.A.G., since Cassettes, and more, playing to support John and JJ’s Bo-hemia’s longevity. Get on over to JJ’s, buy yourself a beer and rock out to some great music. Because that’s what JJ’s is all about—beer, friends, and local music. Long live the king.

JJ’s 8th Anniversary with James Legg, F.A.G., Big Kitty, Behold the Brave, Since CassettesSaturday, Oct. 25, 10 p.m. 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

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AFTER WITNESSING A FRIEND COMPLETE A “TOUGH Mudder” run—a sadistic and grueling 10-mile obstacle course

that subjects runners to electrical shocks, flaming water slides, plunges into ice-cold water and other insanity—I wondered if there might be an artistic equivalent to such an endurance test. Maybe a performer could play the Erik Satie piece “Vexations”—commonly interpreted as intended to be played 840 times consecutively—while being pelted with snowballs.

NaSoAlMo is coming—haul out those guitars


Matt Downer, under the “Old Chattanooga” name (old-chattanooga.bandcamp.com), has released a new solo album entitled Hill City Bust Down, leaning toward the more play-ful and comical side of old-timey music.

Matt Downer’s over-dub-bing-enhanced one-man band offers jaunty acoustic guitar strums with either fiddling or banjo picking and his Appala-chian vocal stylings.

Interspersed among the songs are groan-worthy joke recita-tions (think Abner Jay-type minstrelry), like one with a man who drinks brake fluid and “can stop anytime.”

Downer throws himself into an earlier era with aplomb, nec-essary to pull off the kazooing on “Mary Don’t You Weep” or the spirited mule-sound refrain of “Johnson’s Gray Mule.”

A cornerstone of the Chatta-nooga punk scene, Future Vir-gins (facebook.com/FutureVir-gins) serves up the two-track Centers 7-inch single, promis-ing more energy and sweat per second than your typical punk stompers.

“Centers” is an ardent plea facing internal disintegration (“our personal apocalypse”) and a shell of rage, exploding in a potent minute and a half. “Late Republic,” a track which does not appear on the band’s 2013 album Late Republic, offers more pop facets to the punk sparks, with tambourines and backing “ahh” vocals, coming together with a compelling, catchy tug.

The single’s brevity and ultra-conciseness work in its fa-vor, guaranteeing that the listener will drop the needle in the opening groove, again and again.

Future Virgins will play with the Paul Collins Beat at Sluggo’s North on Oct. 29.

Local Release Mini-Roundup

—EP

Play what you have or can borrow or acquire inexpensively.

One great thing about Chattanooga is the many options that music students have, from formal classical training at UTC’s Cadek Con-servatory of Music (utc.edu/cadek-conservato-ry-music), to learning traditional music at the Folk School of Chattanooga (chattanoogafolk.com).

You can also ask your talented friends; offer to cook meals, clean houses or mow lawns in exchange for lessons. Or, there are plenty of learning materials online, with many videos teaching music theory or how to strum a guitar.

In addition to music performance, music re-cording doesn’t need to be intimidating. John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats did just fine with a boombox recorder for years, and free, quality multi-track recording software like Au-dacity (audacity.sourceforge.net) is a digital op-tion.

Back to the topic of NaSoAlMo, what the challenge really does is unleash the power of a deadline; it is not about perfection—it is about taking those first, difficult steps toward a goal. It is also about seeing something through to completion. Having a definite goal with a strict deadline helps that.

Engaging in such a project can deeply change how you listen to music. It demystifies the pro-cess of music recording and places the activity in the realm of mortals who may have mod-est resources and abilities. It helps you realize how difficult (or easy) certain aspects can be, enhancing an appreciation of what the process takes. It can be an arduous process, and even if your own creation might be a half-baked mess—perhaps with at least a few flashes of in-spiration—that you will never play for anyone else, it can be a rewarding endeavor, with this Dorothy Parker quote coming to mind: “I hate writing, I love having written.”

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honest music local and regional shows

Thu, Oct 23Sun, Oct 26

9 pm7 pm

Kids From Across The Street, SEYGO, Stoop Kids [$5]Molly Maguires [FREE]

Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pmRyan Oyer hosts Open Mic every Wednesday @ 8pm

$3 NEWCASTLE PINTSDURING THURSDAY SHOWS


MU

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RChris Robinson Brotherhood

thursday10.23 CSO Lunchtime Concert Series11:30 a.m.Warehouse row1110 Market st.chattanoogasymphony.orgLive Jazz6 p.m.The Meeting Place1278 Market st.stjohnsrestaurant.comBluegrass & Country Jam6:30 p.m.Grace Church of nazarene6310 Dayton Blvd.chattanoogagrace.comLive Bluegrass6:30 p.m.Whole Foods Market301 Manufacturers rd.(423) 702-7300 Songwriter Shootout7 p.m.The Camp House1427 Williams st.thecamphouse.comRick Rushing7 p.m.1885 Grill3914 st. elmo Ave.1885grill.comJermain Purifory, TsJ Band, CSO String Quintet7 p.m.The urban Lawn306 W. Main st.launchchattanooga.orgNeshawn Calloway7 p.m.signal Mountain Arts Community Center

809 kentucky Ave.signalmacc.orgSoddy-Daisy Jamboree7 p.m.soddy-Daisy Community Center190 Depot st.(423) 332-1702Jimmy Eat World8 p.m.Track 291400 Market st.track29.coKids from Across the Street, SEYGO, Stoop Kids9 p.m.The Honest Pint35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.comDrake White & The Big Fire, Sonia Leigh9 p.m.rhythm & Brews221 Market st.

rhythm-brews.comOpen Mic with Hap Henninger9 p.m.The office @ City Cafe901 Carter st.(423) 634-9191 John Wayne and the Pain, Marlow Drive, Vino Takes10 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia231 e. MLk Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

friday10.24 Matthew Walley11 a.m.Miller Plaza850 Market st.rivercitycompany.com/new/miller-plazaTen Bartram & William

Wild, Dinner & a Suit7 p.m.The Camp House1427 Williams st.thecamphouse.comLogan Murell8:30 p.m.The Foundry1201 Broad st.chattanooganhotel.comBB’s Blowdown, River City Hustlers9 p.m.Ziggy’s underground607 Cherokee Blvd.(423) 265-8711Jonathan Wimpee9 p.m.The office @ City Cafe901 Carter st.(423) 634-9191Erick Baker, Amber Fults9:30 p.m.rhythm & Brews221 Market st.rhythm-brews.comRamble in the Attic10 p.m.T-Bones1419 Chestnut st.tboneschattanooga.comTurquoise Jeep, Yip Deceiver, Kindora10 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia231 e. MLk Blvd. jjsbohemia.comMisfit Toyz10 p.m.Bud’s sports Bar5751 Brainerd rd.budssportsbar.com

Pulse Pick: sarah Beth GoSara Beth’s “sadly sweet, sweetly sad, aw-shucksy baroque-pop” songs reveal a prolific singer-songwriter weathered by the everyday mundanes and Nashville’s music machine.

Sara Beth Gosunday, 2 p.m.Chattanooga Market1829 Carter st.chattanoogamarket.com

LIVE MUSIC

CHATTANOOGA

OCT/NOV

11.4 UPTOWN BIG BAND 11.5 MARLOW DRIVE, DONNA HOPKINS BAND & BACKWATER STILL

23THU9pDRAKE WHITE

with special guest SONIA LEIGH

ERICK BAKERwith special guest AMBER FULTS

25SAT9pDANK SINATRA

with BACKUP PLANET & MASSEUSE

29WED8pDREW STERCHI

and BLUES TRIBE

ROCKY HORROR LIVEwith SCARLETT LOVE CONSPIRACY

31FRI9p

THE COMMUNICATORSTHAT 90’S HALLOWEEN SHOW!

1SAT9:30pARPETRIO

with SKYMATIC & SOL SERMON

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREETHOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD

BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

COMING SOON

FLY BY RADIO FEMALE FRONTED ROCK AND ROLL

SEVEN HANDLE CIRCUS BLUEGRASS WITH AN ATTITUDE!

30THU9p

24FRI9p

THU9p 6

SAT10p 8

& THEBIG FIRE


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STS9

saturday10.25 Rocktoberfest8 a.m.rock City Gardens1400 Patten rd.seerockcity.comTim Carroll, Lynn Taylor & The Barflies7:30 p.m.Ziggy’s underground607 Cherokee Blvd.(423) 265-8711Julie Patchouli, Bruce Hecksel8 p.m.Charles & Myrtle’s Coffee House105 McBrien rd.christunity.orgLogan Murell8:30 p.m.The Foundry1201 Broad st.chattanooganhotel.comDank Sinatra, Backup Planet, Masseuse9 p.m.rhythm & Brews221 Market st.rhythm-brews.comTab Spencer10 p.m.The office @ City Cafe901 Carter st.(423) 634-9191Rye Baby10 p.m.World of Beer412 Market st.worldofbeer.comJJ’s 8th Anniversary with James Legg, F.A.G., Big

Kitty, Behold the Brave, Since Cassettes10 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia231 e. MLk Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

sunday10.26 Rocktoberfest8 a.m.rock City Gardens1400 Patten rd.seerockcity.comAnnual Fall Festival11 a.m.Collegedale Community Church4995 swinyar Dr.collegedalecommunity.comOld Time Travelers12:30 p.m.1885 Grill3914 st. elmo Ave.1885grill.comSara Beth Go2 p.m.Chattanooga Market1829 Carter st.chattanoogamarket.comMid-South Symphonic Band3 p.m.Brainerd united Methodist4315 Brainerd rd.midsouthsymphonicband.orgSunday Night Irish Music Jam Session5 p.m.Grocery Bar1501 Long st.grocerybar.comMolly Maguires7 p.m.

The Honest Pint35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.comThe Dead Deads, SEXX10 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia231 e. MLk Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

monday10.27 No One Two Reed Trio7:30 p.m.Chattanooga state4501 Amnicola Hwy.chattanoogastate.edu

tuesday10.28 Jericho Brass with CSAS Symphonic Band7 p.m.Chattanooga school for the Arts and sciences865 e. 3rd st.jerichobrassband.orgRick’s Blues Jam7 p.m.Folk school of Chattanooga1200 Mountain Creek rd.chattanoogafolk.comTim Starnes, Davey Smith7 p.m.sugar’s Downtown507 Broad st.sugarschattanooga.comChattanooga Clarinet Choir7:30 p.m.Ackerman Auditorium5061 industrial Dr.chattanoogaclarinetchoir.comChris Robinson Brotherhood

9 p.m.Track 291400 Market st.track29.coAbdu Ali, Schwarz, Kilborne, Stratton Tingle10 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia231 e. MLk Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

wednesday10.29 Charlie Yates7 p.m.1885 Grill3914 st. elmo Ave.1885grill.comDan Sheffield7:30 p.m.sugar’s Downtown507 Broad st.sugarschattanooga.comDrew Sterchi, Blues Tribe8 p.m.rhythm & Brews221 Market st.rhythm-brews.comSTS98 p.m.Track 291400 Market st.track29.coIscariots10 p.m.JJ’s Bohemia231 e. MLk Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

Map these locations on chatta-noogapulse.com. Send event list-ings at least 10 days in advance to: [email protected]

7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.comMon-Thu 9am-9pm • Fri-Sat 9am-10pm • Sun 11am-7pm

Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

Join us on Facebook

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm$1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts,

$2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

901 Carter StInside City Cafe423-634-9191

Thursday, October 23: 9pmOpen Mic

with Hap HenningerFriday, October 24: 9pm

Jonathan WimpeeSaturday, October 25: 10pm

Tab SpencerTuesday, October 28: 7pm

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night$5 Pitchers ● $2 Wells ● $1.50 Domestics


Record ReviewsMARC T. MICHAEL

Industrial-edged Reggae, Scalpel-sharp BluesThe Iscariots growl and party, Jess Goggans sizzles

Back in July, local reggae band The Iscariots released the al-

bum Act of Treason. We touched on it briefly in another column, but now I’d like to take a closer look at this collection of 12 tunes attractively wrapped in some 19th-century cov-er art.

The first track on the album is the titular “Act of Treason.” Here is as edgy and industrial a reggae tune as you are likely to hear. The throaty growl of the singer (Jungkurth) is paralleled by the throaty growl of the guitar and the whole song seems much harder than one typically ex-pects, but perhaps this reflects the emotional content behind the tune. Demons are being exorcised.

“Fantasy World” is an old favor-ite that has seen play in a number of band incarnations and ought to be a hit single. “Cecelia” is a light, breezy, drinking-on-the-beach tune that takes me back to many a rum-filled afternoon at a beach cabana in Negril.

“Bluelights” is a poignant tune about why reggae musicians pre-fer to avoid Imperial entanglement

when at all possible. Be smart about your business, kids, it ain’t legal yet.

“Back on the Road” is a reggae take on a theme that goes all the way back to the Delta blues, the wandering musician who can never settle down and has a girl (or three) in every town. “Supercool” is an-other upbeat tune, this one decry-ing the “rasta” poser whose dreads were purchased and whose lingo was gleaned from the best “How to Sound Jamaican” websites Google can offer.

Six more tune flesh out this disc, including “Nothing Lasts Forever” which pulls off that unique reggae trick of sounding both bright and slightly sinister, “Follow You Down” which features an unexpected and delightful harmonica, “Please Don’t Harsh My Mellow” that hints at some Velvet Underground influ-ence, and perennial favorite “Out-law” in which the singer offers to organize a friendly get-together with like-minded parties.

The album is a powerful entry by the Iscariots and is available through a number of outlets including CD-

Baby, but the best way to get your-self a copy is to attend an Iscariots show or, failing that, to find the boys through social media and make ar-rangement to pick one up in person.

Act of Treason is the warm, Carib-bean wind you’re going to need to fend off the upcoming cold winter months.

Some time back a particularly handsome and brilliant reviewer

said of Jess Goggans’ voice that it “is practically a weapon, capable of cut-ting with scalpel precision or coming down on your head like a war ham-mer.” He went on to wonder aloud why she isn’t better known in Chat-tanooga.

What a difference a couple of months makes. Jess has been gig-ging all over town and throughout the region and has achieved a great deal of name recognition in a rela-tively short period. So now seems like the right time to have a closer look at her album Reality.

The album, released back in the summer, consists of ten tracks of smoking-hot blues action that

cover the considerable territory that designation suggests. From the funky opening track, “Barefoot Hookin’” to the slow, classic, de-scending chord structure of “Story Tellin’ Blues” and the frenetic “In the Middle,” Goggans and her band The Magnetics are able to shift gears smoothly and demonstrate an impressive dynamic range in a genre where all too often performers stay one-dimensional.

The title track is as damn near perfect a blues tune as I have ever heard. The marriage of instruments to voice is spot on, as the guitar and organ join forces with Goggans’ vo-cals to form a Greek chorus of sorts. “Leavin’ the State” is another fast tempo, bright and bouncy tune that leads one to believe Jess may be a fan of The Pointer Sisters or perhaps even Lonnie Donegan (the King of Skiffle).

I don’t know how much New Orleans influences her music—but I know this: Every time I hear this tune I grow nostalgic for the taste of beignets on a Sunday morning. “Rock Me” is a minimalist tune, more jazz than blues, but very tasty and “Shepard Shepard” features a wailing harmonica reminiscent of Gatemouth Brown. “Mountain Sam” is pure Chicago-style blues with a lead guitar that must have been a personal favor from Carlos Santana.

The final two tracks, “Turn You On” and “The Way” are a slight de-parture from the rest of the album in that they seem to embody modern funk. once again demonstrating the range of this lady and her band.

The unifying element through-out all is undeniably Goggans’ voice, which demonstrates such power, sensuality and depth that I’d wager even her sneezes are kind of sexy and dangerous.

The album is Reality and it is available now through a number of outlets, including Reverbnation. It is Blues with a capital B and you must have it now!

The Iscariots Act of Treason(cdbaby.com/cd/theiscariots)

Jess GoggansReality (Purchase on Reverbnation)

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16 • The Pulse • HALLoWeeN GUIDe 2014 • chaTTanoogaPulse.com

No Zombies Get Out Alive...By Josh lang

the last remaining humans (who can vary depending on the time of night), embark on an epic

quest to slay the zombie infestation taking over Insane Paintball!

survive alive 2014 is a slow-moving armored truck experience, with 20 mounted paintball guns on the side of this zombie-killing machine.

arrive early to this attraction as the wait times can get pretty hefty. The waiting area is very ghoulish, though, and they played on screen the 1968 version of “night of the living Dead”. no audio, but the moving pictures did entertain my eyes while awaiting our caravan. The dark warehouse was a comfortable temperature, as opposed to other haunts that force you to wait outside. The eerie settings were com-plemented by the fear technicians who passed by every few minutes to try and scare an unsuspecting victim.

once it was our turn to board the death machine, we were trained by military-level personnel on how to sur-vive alive! once on board there is no turning back or stopping, so respect his authority and the outcome will be positive. after final preparations were

made, we were on our way. There was a short five-minute drive before we even pulled the trig-ger where ominous zom-bies lay waiting, in hiding to jump out and devour our brains. luckily for us, we had our guide with a shotgun waiting to pump iron into each undead carcass.

When we entered the infection zone, the gen-eral pulled off our safety caps and we were in-formed to shoot anything that moves. Just as he finished speaking, hordes of zombies approached our mobile death squad. splat, right on the face! You know you like it, zombies, don’t even play. headshots left and right. The only thing making each face shot more satisfying was the intense black-light coverage over the course, each shot clearly visible until impact.

I had an InsanelY fun time at sur-vive alive and I highly recommend it to all our bloodthirsty Pulse readers. This Friday and saturday, 7 - 11 p.m., are the

last chances to get in on this amazing opportunity. each ticket comes with a free paintball field pass, so it’s defi-nitely worth the money. I would also recommend getting the extra bullets for maximum carnage.

Survive Alive Paintball Zombie Shoot1200 Wisdom st. (off amnicola highway behind the 911 service center and Police department)survivealive.com

Acres of Darkness Haunted trailchattanooga audubon acres 900 n. sanctuary Rd. Fridays & saturdays, Through oct. 31Tickets: $15; $5 off for cas membersacresofdarkness.com

blowing Screams Farm271 chattanooga Valley Rd., Flintstone, ga. Fridays & saturdays,Through nov. 1Tickets: $16 general admissionblowingscreamsfarm.com

boo in the Zoo301 n. holtzclaw ave. oct. 24-25Tickets: $8.95 adults, $5.95 children, free ages 2-underhalf off for memberschattzoo.org

Demise Haunted House3801 Ringgold Rd. Fridays-sundays in oct., oct. 30, & nov. 1 Tickets: $20demisehauntedhouse.com

enchanted Maize 271 chattanooga Valley Rd., Flintstone, ga.Thursdays-sundays, Through nov. 2Tickets: $10 all ages, Blowing springs Farm; Free-children 3-under; $20 combo ticketblowingspringsfarm.com

Halloween eerie express4199 cromwell Rd. oct. 24-25Tickets: $22 ages 2 & uptvrail.com

the Haunted barn5017 mcDonald Rd.,

mcDonald, TnFridays & saturdays in oct. & nov. 1Tickets: $20 all agesthehauntedbarnchattanooga.com

Haunted cavern ruby Falls1720 south scenic hwy. Fridays-sundays in october & nov. 1Tickets: $23 (Fri.), $25 (sat.), $21 (sun. & oct. 9)hauntedcavern.com

Haunted Hilltop 8235 hwy. 58, harrison, Tn Fridays & saturdays in oct. & nov. 1Tickets: $20 for everything or $15 per attractionthehauntedhilltop.com

Lake WinnepeSPooKah1730 lakeview Dr.Fridays & saturdays, oct. 3-31

Tickets: $22 ages 3-54lakewinnie.com/spookah Mystery Dog ranch Haunted ranch & Hayride975 Wooten Rd., Ringgold, ga. oct. 24-25, 31 & nov. 1Tickets: $12mysterydoghaunted-ranchandhayride.com

ringgold Haunted Depot155 Depot st., Ringgold, ga. Final 2 weekends in oct. Tickets: $15 for all cityofringgold.com

Survive Alive Paintball Zombie Shoot1200 Wisdom st.Fridays & saturdays, oct. 3-nov. 1Tickets: $25survivealive.com

Haunted Houses & Events

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chaTTanoogaPulse.com • HALLoWeeN GUIDe 2014 • The Pulse • 17

AquaScarium Guests Get A Special TreatBy Thom Benson

Families who arrive early for the Tennessee aquarium’s aquascarium VII hallow-

een party will get an extra special treat—the chance to see someone walk a line suspended between the aquarium’s peaks.

local world-class highliner ed-ward Yates will rig lines of great heights on the Tennessee aquar-ium peaks and then walk across them as a unique feature of River-Rocks 2014. similar to tightrope walking, but accessible to any-one, slacklining and highlining are trending outdoor sports.

edward will safely execute this stunt in the common style of high-lining and will be wearing a safety leash in case of a fall. Yates will make his first attempt crossing between the peaks between 5:30 and 6 p.m. on Friday, oct. 24. This cutting-edge spectacle will be re-peated on saturday, oct. 25, at 11 a.m., 1 p.m. and 3 p.m.

The exciting highlining event be-gins an evening of family-friendly fun inside the aquarium’s two buildings. Tiny goblins and super-heroes of all ages are invited to come in costume with their favor-ite treat bag for this annual safe, yet spirited, halloween party.This year’s event, which lasts from 6 to 9 p.m., includes a host of new ac-

tivities and special appearances, from princesses and superheroes to mermaids and pirates.

as trick-or-treaters wind their way through both aquarium build-ings, a word puzzle scavenger hunt will lead them to a prize. along the way, they will meet costumed aquarium mascot harry otter and his friends. You never know who you might see inside the nickajack lake and River giants exhibits as aquarium scuBa divers get into the halloween spirit.

While nothing at aquascarium VII should give kids a real scare, a magical snow queen and her snowman friend might just give little ones goose bumps! some swashbuckling pirates along with magellan, and colorful characters like otis the otter spotter will also delight guests.

AquaScarium VII Family Halloween PartyFriday, oct. 246 – 9 p.m.adult & child members: $8 eachnon-member adult $35non-member child $25Non-member price includes Aquarium admission.children must be accompanied by an adult.

Beside Pepboy’s Auto, near Hamilton Place Mall entrance

2114 Gunbarrel Road Chattanooga, TN

halloweenexpress.com/chattanooga

Beside Pepboy’s Auto, near Hamilton Place Mall entrance

2114 Gunbarrel Road Chattanooga, TN

$10 OFF a purchase of $50.00 or more.

Expires October 26, 2014. Only at this location. Limit one coupon per customer. Cannot be combined with any other offer or discount.

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18 • The Pulse • HALLoWeeN GUIDe 2014 • chaTTanoogaPulse.com

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One of the highlights of Chattanooga’s recent Startup Week was a lecture by Da-vid Weinberger, Harvard re-searcher and author of “Too Big To Know”, about how the Internet has changed not just what we know, but how we create knowl-edge.

He spoke on the Pub-lic Library’s Fourth Floor about “the future as a plat-form.”

Rather than interview him alone, I enlisted two of Chattanooga’s own future-makers—Mike Bradshaw, executive director of CoLab, and Nate Hill, assistant direc-tor of the Public Library—to have a conversation with him about the Internet, startups and Chattanooga.

the Pulse: Can your re-search be used as model for understanding what goes on in communities, which has so much to do with information but is not information tech-nology?

Mike bradshaw: Can I add to that? People want to apply traditional forms of measurement to the effects of our work here, the emer-gence of this start up commu-nity, which is really kind of a transformative phenomenon that defies our ability to mea-sure it effectively. All of our startups have to use basically

a Newtonian model to project their future plans. They start with an initial state and apply dynamical rules to it, which is their business model.

David Weinberger: The business model is a perfect example of Newton gone

wrong. I think the Internet in-n o v a t i o n , e n t r e p r e -neurialization

space is way ahead of me in this. I’m not coming up with a new business model for them. This is what they’ve been doing.

Twitter started out with a very different idea of what its use was. It has been ex-tremely open to enabling the uses that it is growing into because this is how its users are inventing it.

The notion of putting something up and letting users expand it and decide what it’s going to be is new. It looks like lack of planning, like they’re not mature busi-ness people, but they’re way smarter business people. They know that they cannot predict what this thing will become. If you don’t know what it’s going to become, it’s very hard to lock it into a business model and how you make money exactly.

Nate Hill: This is exactly the sort of model we have used for how we think about

the Fourth Floor. We think of it as a physical platform for the community. Ultimately, I don’t have a plan that I rain down upon the fourth floor. It’s a community-driven thing, a place the people can come and create that next it-eration of what the library is going to be for them.

Weinberger: It’s easier in the Internet because every-thing is just bits and you can find everything and it’s very cheap to fail and its easier to build on. But it’s an old idea. Jane Jacobs [wrote about it with cities]. People will want “here’s where the bar-ber shop will go “ or “make the sidewalks this wide” and they don’t anticipate bicycles or food carts.

Events like Startup Week—as I understand it—are about thickening the cul-ture, which means increas-ing the connections, which is what a platform is really about.

That’s what culture in gen-eral has always been about. It’s been about shared con-nections around share experi-ences, shared values, shared things.

bradshaw: People seed-ing the waters, adding some sort of energy into a self-orga-nizing system. The available free energy comes in the form of capital and people’s inter-est and creating nodes on the network.

Hill: I’m kind of curious how this rings to the guy who has all the money and is thinking about making an in-vestment.

bradshaw: Most of the time even though they’re go-ing to ask you for the projec-tions, they’re really looking at you. The investor is sitting there looking at the found-ers thinking, “Are you the person that’s going to be able to manage all this when that doesn’t happen?”

There’s something else. Have you ever watched a Mandelbrot Set draw itself? [This is fractal geometry, in which a huge and complex form creates itself by the repetition of small, simple shapes.] It fills in, fills in, fills in—that’s incrementalism to me—and then bang its out there.

That seems to me to be a great model for the effects of incremental [changes on a startup]. Under the proper conditions—generally unpre-dictable ones—a new level of organization springs in. It’s a qualitative shift rather then an incremental shift.

And that’s sort of what I saw happen here in Chat-tanooga, first as an observer and then a participant. I saw a phase shift in the culture.

Weinberger: It starts with a seed, a set of people who understand it and are pushing it, and you have to constantly explain to people, even well-meaning people. Over time you win that argument by giving people a vision of the culture that they embrace, which means giving up on the old existing measurement ways of judging values.

You can read the second half of our conversation in two weeks.

Stalking the Wild Phase Shift: Business Reimagined

“The notion of putting something up and letting users expand it and decide what it’s going to be is new.”

A conversation with David Weinberger about the future

Tech TalkriCH BAiLeY

Rich Bailey is a professional writer, editor and (sometimes) PR consultant. He led a project to create Chattanooga’s first civic web site in 1995 before even owning a modem. Now he covers Chattanooga technology for The Pulse and blogs about it at CircleChattanooga.com. He splits his time between Chattanooga and Brooklyn.


sat10.25MMMM...DONUTS

Donuts After Darkit’s a “Donut Duathlon” to beneft local law enforcement in which you run 1.5 miles, eat six donuts, and run another 1.5 miles.7 p.m.100 Riverfront Pkwy.(423) 243-7689donutsafterdark.org

sun10.26SPOOky SHOPPING

Chattanooga Market: The Haunted MarketThe weekly Market gets made over with ghosts and goblins (and more) as all your fall treats are available for Halloween.11 a.m.The Chattanooga Market1829 Carter St.chattanoogamarket.com

fri10.24BRAND NEW LEGS

Grand Reopening: Barking Legs TheaterCome see the end result of a summer of hard work as the new look of “The Legs” gets shown off.6:30 p.m.Barking Legs Theater1307 Dodds Ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.org

Top of the Pops With Bob B.

As Fiedler’s successor, Williams carried on many of Fiedler’s traditions, and, like Fiedler, worked to make symphonic music more accessible.

This Saturday, Oct. 25 at 7:30 p.m., the Chattanooga Symphony and Opera will honor these great conductors by performing “Boston Pops Tribute: A Salute to Arthur Fiedler and John Williams” under the direc-tion of Bob Bernhardt, principal pops con-ductor of the CSO.

Before Fiedler, pops orchestras’ repertoire consisted of well-known light classical mu-sic. Fiedler brought the Boston Pops into the modern era by showcasing not only the work of young American composers and arrangers but also music by popular artists of the day.

Bernhardt notes that the standard format of a pops concert conducted by Fiedler in-cluded “some old music, some famous mu-sic, and some current music.” This inclusion of contemporary music was unprecedented, but it has come to dominate the format of to-day’s pops concerts.

John Williams succeeded Fiedler as the Boston Pops Orchestra’s principal conductor in 1980. Like Fiedler before him, Williams worked with some of the best arrangers in the world and included popular music in the Pops’ repertoire, but Williams also added a new element: film music.

Today, with 49 Academy Award nomina-tions for his film scores, Williams is the most-nominated living person in Academy history.

Get outside and Get Painting Landscape class this weekend at Townsend Atelier

As Chattanooga exchanges the heat of summer for the cool breez-es and rich colors of autumn, what could be better than capturing the changing season on canvas? Townsend Atelier is offering an in-tensive two-day workshop for artists of all skill levels to do just that.

The workshop will be held oct. 25-26 from 9 a.m. until 5 p.m. both days. naturalist painter Thomas Ca-leb Goggans will lead students in live demonstrations, outdoor paint-ing sessions and lessons about great landscape painters.

Workshop attendees will also re-ceive insightful critiques and individ-ual direction. no previous painting experience is necessary, and anyone from age 15 and up is welcome.

Goggans is a contemporary natu-ralist painter, studio teacher, and fac-

ulty member at Townsend Atelier. He draws inspiration from the naturalist painters of the 19th century, particu-larly sargent, Zorn, sorolla and Lep-age. He studied in new england at the Lyme Academy College of Fine Arts, one of the only traditional art colleges in the country.

Pre-registration is required. reg-ister by phone at (423) 266-2712 or online at townsendatelier.com. More information about the class (includ-ing pricing and a required materials list) is also available online.

— Rachael Poe

Landscape Painting, In Plein AirTownsend Atelier201 W. Main St.(423) 266-2712townsendatelier.com

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ARTHUR FIEDLER AND JOHN WILLIAMS REVOLU-tionized the concept of pops concerts. When Fiedler became

the conductor of the Boston Pops Orchestra in 1930, nobody real-ized that under his 50 years of direction the Boston Pops would become the country’s best-known orchestra. During his tenure, the Boston Pops produced more recordings than any other orchestra in the world and became affectionately known as “America’s Orches-tra.”

Maestro Bernhardt conducts a tribute to the Boston Pops, Fiedler and Williams

ArtsrACHAeL Poe

Williams brought movie music into our living rooms and, in my opinion, he is the most important film composer in history.”

“

“Landscape and still Life” by Thomas Caleb Goggans


When he decided to boost the Boston Pops’ repertoire with film music—in-cluding not only his own compositions but also the music of his predecessors and contemporaries, Williams catapult-ed the Boston Pops into the 20th—and now 21st—century.

Like Fiedler, Williams has constantly worked to make symphonic music more accessible. “Williams brought movie music into our living rooms,” says Ber-nhardt, “and, in my opinion, he is the most important film composer in his-tory.”

Bernhardt, who knows Williams per-sonally, is more qualified than most to make that assessment. Not only is he music director emeritus and principal pops conductor of the CSO, he’s also the principal pops conductor of the Louis-ville Orchestra and artist-in-residence at Lee University. He makes frequent appearances as a guest conductor with orchestras across the country, including the Detroit Symphony, Seattle Sym-phony, Baltimore Symphony and the Boston Pops.

John Williams conducted two con-certs of the Tucson Symphony Orches-tra when Bernhardt was music director and conductor there from 1987-95, and that’s how the two met. Bernhardt remi-nisces, “We became friends and occa-sional golfing partners, and he trusted me enough to bring me up to Boston.” So, in 1992 at the invitation of Williams, Bernhardt made his debut with the Bos-ton Pops, and he has been a frequent guest conductor with them ever since.

The upcoming CSO concert will fol-low the pops concert pattern established by Fiedler. Bernhardt has conducted

this program in several other cities, but never in Chattanooga. As the show is one of his personal favorites, he is ex-cited to bring it here for the first time.

The first half of the show will honor Fiedler’s love of patriotic and light or-chestral music, including works by John Phillip Sousa, Leroy Anderson and Suppé, including Suppé’s “Light Cav-alry Overture.” Of the latter Bernhardt explains, “You might not recognize the name, but everyone’s heard it.”

As a tribute to Fiedler’s inclusion of great classical music, pianist Michael Chertok, a featured guest with the Bos-ton Pops for years, will play movements of Mozart and Rachmaninoff. “The Mo-zart is soft, elegant, and beautiful,” add-ed Bernhardt, “and the Rachmaninoff is monumental and potent. It’s a delight-ful contrast.”

The second half of the concert will showcase the music of Williams. “That’s my fault,” Bernhardt jokes. “I adore his music, and it’s truly a part of society. No other composer is popular with 8-year-olds and 88-year-olds.” Concertmaster Holly Mulcahy will take a solo turn as well in the second half.

The show may be a tribute to the Boston Pops, Fiedler, and Williams, but Bernhardt insists, “The real star of the show is the orchestra itself. This pro-gram puts the CSO front and center.”

“Boston Pops Tribute: A Salute to Arthur Fiedler and John Williams”Saturday, Oct. 25, 7:30 p.m.Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St.(423) 267-8583chattanoogasymphony.org

Bob Bernhardt

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THE TIVOLITHEATRE

FRIDAY, OCT. 31


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R“A Short History of Chattanooga”

thursday10.23 Homeschool Science Club1 p.m.Creative Discovery Museum321 Chestnut st.(423) 757-2143cdmfun.orgOoltewah Farmers Market3 p.m.ooltewah nursery5829 Main st.(423) 238-9775ooltewahnursery.com2014 FACES UnMasked5:30 p.m.The Church on Main1601 rossville Ave.(423) 266-1632facesunmasked.org“A Short History of Chattanooga”6 p.m.Chattanooga History Center2 W. Aquarium Way(423) 265-3247chattanoogahistory.com Art Wise: Distinguished Speakers at the Hunter Presents Bo Bartlett6 p.m.Hunter Museum of Art10 Bluff View(423) 267-0968huntermuseum.orgFireside featuring Randy Steele and Friends6 p.m.Greenway Farm3010 Hamill rd.(423) 643-6888outdoorchattanooga.comGallery 1401: TEXTURES

6 p.m.Gallery 14011478 Market st.(423) 265-0015gallery1401.comWhat’s Your Color? with Elea Blake Cosmetics6 p.m.Hunter Museum of Art10 Bluff View(423) 267-0968huntermuseum.org Janet Williams7:30 p.m.The Comedy Catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

friday10.24 Pints and Pedals Halloween Celebration

noonPints and PedalsCorner of 10th and Columbia st.(423) 380-8359pintsandpedalstn.comBoo in the Zoo5:30 p.m.Chattanooga Zoo301 n. Holtzclaw Ave.(423) 697-1319chattzoo.orgAquaScarium VII: Family Halloween Party6 p.m.Tennessee Aquarium1 Broad st.(423) 267-3474tnaqua.orgFantasy Maze at Tennessee Riverpark6 p.m.Tennessee riverpark4301 Amnicola Hwy.

(423) 842-0177hamiltontn.govGrand Reopening: Barking Legs Theater6:30 p.m.Barking Legs Theater1307 Dodds Ave.(423) 624-5347barkinglegs.orgJanet Williams7:30, 9:45 p.m.The Comedy Catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com“Tres Vidas”7:30 p.m.Chattanooga state Humanities Theater4501 Amnicola Hwy.(423) 697-2460

saturday10.25 Rocktoberfest8 a.m.rock City Gardens1400 Patten rd., Lookout Mountain, GA(706) 820-2531seerockcity.comSummerville Steam Special9 a.m.Tennessee Valley railroad Museum4119 Cromwell rd.(423) 894-8028tvrail.comBrainerd Farmers’ Market10 a.m.Grace episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave.(423) 698-0330

Pulse Pick: Janet williams“The Tennessee Tramp” doesn’t hold anything back about her views on marriage, divorce, men and women. She takes her comedy to the edge and over the top.

Janet WilliamsThe Comedy Catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

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Boo in the Zoo

Northside Farmers’ Market on Mississippi 10 a.m.northside PresbyterianChurch953 Mississippi Ave.(423) 266-7497St. Alban’s Hixson Farmers’ Market10 a.m.st. Alban’s episcopal Church7514 Hixson Pike(423) 842-1342Electric Bike Eco Tour to Mountain Cove Farms10 a.m.Certified electric Bike specialists45 e. Main st.(423) 643-6888outdoorchattanooga.comThe Chattery Presents11 a.m.Bachman Community Center2815 Anderson Pikethechattery.orgPints and Pedals Halloween CelebrationnoonPints and PedalsCorner of 10th and Columbia st.(423) 380-8359pintsandpedalstn.comBoo in the Zoo5:30 p.m.Chattanooga Zoo301 n. Holtzclaw Ave.(423) 697-1319chattzoo.orgAquaScarium VII: Family Halloween Party6 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium1 Broad st.(423) 267-3474tnaqua.org“Made/Unmade: Seven Dances”6 p.m.Glass House Collective2523 Glass st.(423) 402-0565glasshousecollective.orgDonuts After Dark7 p.m.100 riverfront Pkwy.(423) 243-7689donutsafterdark.orgCSO: “A Salute to Arthur Fiedler and John Williams”7:30 p.m.Tivoli Theatre709 Broad st.(423) 267-8583chattanoogasymphony.orgJanet Williams7:30, 9:45 p.m.The Comedy Catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.comScary In The City (Spooky Cruise)11 p.m.southern Belle riverboat201 riverfront Pkwy.(423) 266-4488chattanoogariverboat.com

sunday10.26 Rocktoberfest8 a.m.rock City Gardens1400 Patten rd.,

Lookout Mountain, GA(706) 820-2531seerockcity.comElectric Bike Eco Tour to Mountain Cove Farms9 a.m.Certified electric Bike specialists45 e. Main st.(423) 643-6888outdoorchattanooga.comChattanooga Market: The Haunted Market11 a.m.The Chattanooga Market1829 Carter st.chattanoogamarket.comCollegedale Community Fall Festival11 a.m.Collegedale Community Church4995 swinyar Dr.Pints and Pedals Halloween Celebration1 p.m.Pints and PedalsCorner of 10th and Columbia st.(423) 380-8359pintsandpedalstn.comRivermont Fall Festival5 p.m.rivermont Presbyterian Church3319 Hixson Pikerivermontpc.orgJanet Williams7:30 p.m.The Comedy Catch3224 Brainerd rd.(423) 629-2233thecomedycatch.com

monday10.27 KidsQuest4:30 p.m.Downtown Public Library1001 Broad st.(423) 757-5310chattlibrary.org

tuesday10.28 “Breakdown Lane Orrery”5:30 p.m.Cress Gallery of Art736 Vine st.(423) 425-4371cressgallery.org

wednesday10.29 CWLI’s Financial Empowerment Series11:30 a.m.st. Paul’s episcopal Church305 W. 7th st.(423) 266-8195cwli.orgWednesday Market 4 p.m.1829 Carter st.(423) 402-9957chattanoogamarket.comMain Street Farmers Market4 p.m.325 e Main st.mainstfarmersmarket.com

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But for those that have not yet seen it, the less said about the plot the better. Fincher has a talent for creating cerebral and challenging films, finding material that might be bet-ter suited to the shelves of bargain-book sellers and elevating it to something genuinely shocking—if the audience is willing to suspend their disbelief.

It takes a director of this caliber and a well-managed script to turn a story like this one into a relevant indictment of a culture obsessed with quick-judgment, 24-hour info-tainment networks. Fincher does so with aplomb, telling an exception-

ally entertaining story while driving home a broader message about the dangers of sensationalist media. The final moments of the film are enough to

chill you for weeks.About the plot I will only reiterate

what has been seen in the trailers: A man’s wife has gone missing, leav-ing behind a diary that reveals a dark side of her marriage. The couple’s small town has become the center of a manhunt, a national phenomenon focused on the smile of the beauti-ful girl on the posters. Ben Affleck plays the husband with a certain am-bivalence, one that appears to betray sinister motives.

First of all, the mask worn by psychotic muderer “Michael My-ers” in the 1978 classic horror flick “Halloween” was a Captain kirk Halloween mask painted white.

Yes, the man behind a million nightmares is William shatner. or rather, his face.

Trivia aside, the movie that launched a new wave of horror movies (as well as a seemingly endless number of sequels) is returning to the big screen for a one-night-only run on Thursday, oct. 30, the day before Hallow-een.

For those that need a refresher, a then-largely unknown Jamie Lee Curtis is tormented by a psychot-

ic murderer who had been insti-tutionalized since childhood for the murder of his sister. once he escapes, he stalks Curtis and her friends while his doctor (Donald Pleasance) chases him through the streets.

The film kick-started both Cur-tis’ and director John Carpenter’s careers and remains a horror clas-sic.

“Halloween” Thursday ,Oct. 307:30 p.m.Majestic 12311 Broad St.(423) 826-2375carmike.com

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the Man behind the MaskSee the original Halloween classic on the big screen

The Media Is the Murderer

I AM LATE TO THE PARTY WHEN IT COMES TO RE-viewing David Fincher’s latest thriller “Gone Girl.” Although

the wide release only occurred a few weeks ago, the buzz sur-rounding the film had been building for months, and the general consensus is largely positive, for good reason. Many readers of The Pulse may have already seen the film and discussed it at length. It is certainly the kind of film that generates discussion.

Fincher’s “Gone Girl” has it both ways

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As with many Finch-er films, the mystery is built by showing dif-fering perceptions of reality. This is done without the use of the obvious red herrings that tend to plague movies within this genre. The movie isn’t interested necessarily in allow-ing the audience to develop their own conclusions and then rip them away; instead, we experience the bewilder-ment alongside the characters, pa-tiently flowing through the narrative in anticipation of the next moment.

The film follows a similar narra-tive structure to the popular book on which it is based, seamlessly incorpo-rating flashback as a way of complet-ing the picture as a whole. This is not a new concept, but if done incorrect-ly can disjoint the story and make it harder to follow. Here, the structure only adds to the tension.

Much of the subtext of the film is rooted in the idea of “missing white woman” syndrome, seen in cases like Laci Peterson or Natalee Holloway. Very rarely does a missing woman of

color gain any traction in the national news. Instead, time is given to the young, the affluent and the beautiful.

This isn’t to say that these cases don’t deserve the attention they re-ceive; however, there is an inconsis-tency in how missing-person cases are reported and large questions remain about what precisely the obsession with this type of news story says about the country as a whole. Adding to this is the popularity of legal shows by ex-lawyers like Nancy Grace, who spend an enormous amount of time trying cases in the court of public opinion, ruining lives and reputations long be-fore a case ever comes to trial.

Sensationalism and anger without facts or understanding creep into ev-ery aspect of the film, revealing the nastiness of voyeuristic aggrandize-ment within the national media. We

all know it exists, and most of us condemn it, and yet more often than not we partici-pate in its proliferation. “Gone Girl” draws comparisons between the dissolution of a

marriage and the dissolution of civil, rational discourse—and how both can be powerful weapons used to hurt others.

Although David Fincher uses com-plex narrative structures and powerful subtext to make a compelling film, “Gone Girl” at its heart is a thriller of the first degree. Films are fun to pick apart, but ultimately their purpose is to entertain. “Gone Girl” is as enter-taining as can be, fun to see with an audience, and far beyond what has been offered by Hollywood this year.

I tend to be a passive moviegoer, but with this film I found myself liter-ally leaning forward, eagerly engaged with the story unfolding onscreen.

I can’t say that it has the seriousness required of an Oscar nominee, but I can only hope the Academy has a fun side.

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Double, double, toil and trouble; fire burn, and cauldron bubble…

So you’ve already had your fill of all this Oktoberfest and pumpkin beer, and now you’re thinking: How can I get more festive than that? Besides just pouring vodka into a pumpkin, you’ll have to go a little outside of the box to fully dive into the spirit of Halloween.

Don’t get me wrong. Pumpkin is great. But the pumpkin is for autumn. I’m talking about October 31, the night of spooks and creeps and heebie-jeebies, the night we can all become whatever fiend so foul or ghoul so gruesome. The entire atmosphere of the night is different and strange. And that’s what Halloween is—an alteration of reality, one night of phantasms and illusions, spec-ters and ghosts.

And the most important part of this un-reality is food and drink. You know, to re-ally subvert your pragmatism and live in the imagination. But fiends and ghouls don’t drink PBR and Natty Ice. So grab your cauldron and walk with me into the dark, my friend. For tonight, we brew evil.

Eye of newt, and toe of frog, wool of bat, and tongue of dog…

The first thing to know is that the vodka is black this year. United Kingdom’s vodka manufacturer Blavod created a pitch-black vodka that will turn any cocktail from dain-

ty to dark. The vodka is blackened by the addition of the Asian/African herb catechu, and maybe through a bit of backwoods voo-doo that Blavod hasn’t disclosed.

Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting, liz-ard’s leg, and owlet’s wing…

When dark has set and evil has risen, there will be blood. After black, blood red is the next essential ingredient for Hal-loween drinking. If you aren’t completely insane and don’t have that half-gallon of congealed blood sitting in your freezer, there are other options. The readiest is red grenadine (which tastes better anyway). Drip grenadine onto your cocktail concoc-tion for a deadly look.

Cool it with a baboon’s blood, then the charm is firm and good…

Potions should be brewed in a cauldron that comes with preset smoke and glimmer. Should you not possess magicks or caul-drons, however, you can still emulate the effect. Adding chunks or chips of dry ice to drinks will instantly create smoke-screened cocktails. Of course, you must handle these with care and caution your patrons to avoid swallowing the ice. Like all magic, direct contact is dangerous.

Go off into the night, concoct your spooky drink and become something dif-ferent. Halloween is only one night a year. Scare yourself.

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Diversions

Consider Thiswith Dr. Rick

“Gratitude allows us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those moments of awe that change forever how we experience the world.” — John Milton

gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions we can experience. consistent moments of gratitude can literally re-wire your brain. life can look happier, feel happier, be happier for focusing on what you have to be grateful for.

I encourage people to bookend their days. Begin each day with inten-tion, putting in the front of your mind what you want for your day. Today I will be sober. I will be kind. I will bring more loving attention to my kids…sig other…parents. I will be more aware of my own needs. I will be fully authentic.

and I suggest ending each day with thoughts of gratitude. What re-ceives your attention, you get more of. so if you’re head hits the pillow with the warm, peaceful thoughts of all there is in your life to appreciate, guess what you’ll receive more of.

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.


Free Will Astrology ROB BREzSNy

ScorPIo (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Children are the most desirable opponents at Scrabble,” declares Scorpio author Fran Lebowitz, “as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.” I don’t wholeheartedly endorse that advice for you in the coming days, Scorpio. But would you consider a milder version of it? Let’s propose, instead, that you simply seek easy victories to boost your confidence and hone your skills. By this time next week, if all goes well, you will be ready to take on more ambitious challenges.

SAGIttArIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You are entering a phase when you will have more luck than usual as you try to banish parasitic influ-ences, unworthy burdens, and lost causes. Here are some projects you might want to work on: 1. Bid fare-well to anyone who brings out the worst in you. 2. Heal the twisted effect an adversary has had on you. 3. Get rid of any object that symbolizes failure or pathology. 4. Declare your independence from a situation that wastes your time or drains your resources. 5. Shed any guilt you feel for taking good care of yourself. 6. Stop a bad habit cold turkey.

cAPrIcorN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Are you ready to be as affable as a Sagittarius, as charismatic as a Leo, as empathetic as a Cancerian, and as vigorous an instigator as an Ar-ies? No? You’re not? You’re afraid that would require you to push yourself too far outside your com-fort zone? OK, then. Are you will-ing to be half as affable as a Sagit-tarius, half as charismatic as a Leo, half as empathetic as a Cancerian, and half as inspiring an instiga-tor as an Aries? Or even a quarter as much? I hope you will at least stretch yourself in these direc-tions, Capricorn, because doing so would allow you to take maximum advantage of the spectacular social opportunities that will be available for you in the next four weeks.

AQUArIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the coming weeks I hope you will find practical ways to express your newfound freedom. All the explorations and experiments you have enjoyed recently were fun and provocative, but now it’s time to use the insights they sparked to upgrade your life back in the daily grind. Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I love it when you are dreamy and excitable and far-seeing, and would never ask you to tone down those attractive quali-ties. But I am also rooting for you to bring the high-flying parts of you down to earth so that you can reap the full benefits of the bounty they have stirred up. If you work to become more well-grounded, I predict that you will be situated in a new power spot by December 1.

PISceS (Feb. 19-March 20): The heavy metal band known as

Hatebeak broadened the defini-tion of what constitutes music. Its lead singer was Waldo, an African grey parrot. A review by Aquarius Records called Waldo’s squawks “completely and stupidly bril-liant.” For Hatebeak’s second album, they collaborated with animal rights’ activists in the band Caninus, whose lead vocalists were two pitbull terriers, Basil and Bud-gie. In the coming weeks, Pisces, I’d love to see you get inspired by these experiments. I think you will generate interesting results as you explore expansive, even unprec-edented approaches in your own chosen field.

ArIeS (March 21-April 19): The driest place on the planet is the Atacama Desert in northern Chile. It gets about a half-inch of rain per year. And yet in 2011, archaeolo-gists discovered that it’s also home to a site containing the fossilized skeletons of numerous whales and other ancient sea creatures. I’m detecting a metaphorically comparable anomaly in your vicin-ity, Aries. A seemingly arid, empty part of your life harbors buried secrets that are available for you to explore. If you follow the clues, you may discover rich pickings that will inspire you to revise your history.

tAUrUS (April 20-May 20): Busi-nessman Warren Buffet is worth $65.5 billion, but regularly gives away 27 percent of his fortune to charity. Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates owns $78 billion, and do-nates 36 percent. Then there are the members of the Walton fam-ily, owners of Walmart, where 100 million Americans shop weekly. The Waltons have $136 billion, of which they contribute .04 percent to good causes. You are not wealthy in the same way these people are, Taurus. Your riches consist of re-sources like your skills, relation-ships, emotional intelligence, cre-ative power, and capacity for love. My invitation to you is to be extra generous with those assets—not as lavish as Buffet or Gates, perhaps, but much more than the Waltons. You are in a phase when giving your gifts is one of the best things you can do to bolster your own health, wealth, and well-being.

GeMINI (May 21-June 20): You have two options. You can be in denial about your real feelings and ignore what needs to be fixed and wait for trouble to come find you. Or else you can vow to be resil-ient and summon your feistiest curiosity and go out searching for trouble. The difference between these two approaches is dramatic. If you mope and sigh and hide, the messy trouble that arrives will be indigestible. But if you are brave and proactive, the interesting trou-ble you get will ultimately evolve into a blessing.

cANcer (June 21-July 22): Astronauts on the International Space Station never wash their un-derwear. They don’t have enough water at their disposal to waste on a luxury like that. Instead, they fling the dirty laundry out into space. As it falls to Earth, it burns up in the atmosphere. I wish you had an amenity like that right now. In fact, I wish you had a host of ame-nities like that. If there was ever a time when you should be liberated from having to wash your under-wear, make your bed, sweep the floor, and do the dishes, it would be now. Why? Because there are much better ways to spend your time. You’ve got sacred quests to embark on, heroic adventures to accomplish, historical turning points to initiate.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): What are those new whisperings in your head? Are they messages from your inner teacher? Beacons beamed back through time from the Future You? Clues from the wise parts of your unconscious mind? Whatever they are, Leo, pay attention. These signals from the Great Beyond may not be clear yet, but if you are sufficiently pa-tient, they will eventually tell you how to take advantage of a big plot twist. But here’s a caveat: Don’t automatically believe every single thing the whisperings tell you. Their counsel may not be 100 per-cent accurate. Be both receptive and discerning toward them.

VIrGo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the English-speaking world, a sundae is a luxurious dessert that features ice cream topped with sweet treats like syrup, sprinkles, and fruits. In Korea, a sundae is something very different. It consists of a cow’s or pig’s intestines crammed with noodles, barley, and pig’s blood. I expect that in the coming week you will be faced with a decision that has metaphorical similarities to the choice between a sundae and a sundae. Make sure you are quite clear about the true nature of each option.

LIbrA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The average serving of pasta on a typi-cal American’s plate is almost 480 percent bigger than what’s recom-mended as a healthy portion. So says a research paper titled “The Contribution of Expanding Por-tion Sizes to the U.S. Obesity Epidemic,” by Lisa R. Young and Marion Nestle. Muffins are 333 percent larger than they need to be, the authors say, and steaks are 224 percent excessive. Don’t get caught up in this trend, Libra. Get what you need, but not way, way more than what you need. For that matter, be judicious in your approach to all of life’s necessities. The coming phase is a time when you will thrive by applying the Goldilocks principle: neither too much nor too little, but just right.


Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0699

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battery type43 In the style of45 Mother of Hermes, by Zeus47 Pint at the pub48 Cake time, for short51 The color under your eyelids when you’re lost in thought?54 Ending for puppet or musket55 Long lunch?56 Handsome guy57 With 62-Across, the color of multiple leather-bound volumes?61 Endocrine gland62 See 57-Across66 Miami Heat coach Spoelstra67 Shape at the end of a wand68 “American Pie” embankment69 Clinic bunch70 Sault ___ Marie71 Backspace over text

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I winced as the coffee ran over the Styrofoam cup’s brim and down across my fingers like a white-hot phantom, my feet still moving as I negotiated the well-worn but filthy trail, my breath visible due to the low temperatures and the early morning light. It was dawn in Hooverville.

D i s c a r d -ed pieces of lawn chairs and random pieces of plastic were dwarfed by the veritable sea of 40-ounce beer bottles and 24-ounce beer cans that stretched as far as the eye could see, indicating both a sincere lack of respect for the environment and a passionate love of Steele Reserve malt liquor (“Serious beer for seri-ous bros,” as one reviewer put it. “If you want to bro down and impress the babes that know how to party, drink the high gravity la-ger.” Note to self.)

I was carrying two cups of joe from the local stop-and-rob and cursing the Waffle House for forcing me to go the cheap route with Kanku’s since they wouldn’t give me a charitable break as other branches had for

these mission trips. I went for the free coffee, and being lid-less was the price I paid.

“Mission trip” was being somewhat literal. The people who inhabit my district are just that: My people. Sure, some of my people want to

sue me, have me fired, cer-tainly curse me and pos-sibly stab and/or shoot me,

but it’s a small percentage of the total…doesn’t that sound like any good family? Some of my “family” happened to be homeless, and I liked to keep track of them in life rather than in a frozen death.

They had upgraded since my last visit. The three domed tents had been replaced by a new Coleman three-room unit, and cardboard pallets inside had been replaced by cots. And in the corner there, was that…?

“Teabag, is that a propane grill in there? Are you serious, man?” I asked. Teabag (please, please don’t ask how he earned the name) had been outside looking for plastic and sticks to burn in the communal pit, and looked up with a smile from his

foraging. “Hah! That’s right, Officah-Alex, we went big time!” he said with true en-thusiasm. “We got central heat now too!”

“You’re going to suffocate if you seal that tent up, brother. Carbon monoxide. I’m serious. Be careful. Better cold than dead, bro!” He smiled at my response, not hearing a word. He walked over and took the coffee out of my hand just as silently, and we sat together outside on a roughhewn log bench. The sound of the busy morning freeway a few hun-dred yards away was the only sound, and I liked it that way.

“I was going to ask if you needed anything. Business that good?” I asked. “Busi-ness” being bumming for cash at the base of an Interstate off ramp—something I ran him off from constantly but that he persisted in doing despite my Ninja-like Bum Senses.

“It’s been real good. My overhead’s pretty low and I’ve had a good run at the office.” We chuckled together at that.

Everybody’s got to be some-where, the way I see it. Tea-bag’s real first name was Mor-ris, and like most vagrants he was here by choice. I caught him breaking up a knife fight between two of his co-non-workers at considerable risk to

himself and along with a few other similar instances, grew to consider him a man of char-acter. Sloth-like, but a sloth of excellent repute. It would make me sad to find him dead of exposure or homicide one day, so he became part of my weekly routine. (Because as we all know, Officer Teach’s num-ber-one rule was not to make Officer Teach “sad”.)

We spoke more of the go-ings-on out here and he gave me tips on who to watch out for. I toasted his cup in appre-ciation before I left for my next stop—a whore I’d also taken a shine to, but again for com-pletely different reasons than the average person would ever consider, since the average per-son doesn’t know the first thing about a real card-carrying, filthy-kneed, flip-flop wear-ing, disease-riddled whore; the kind that wears sadness like an overcoat on a hot summer day. But that was my job, wasn’t it? Dealing with those others didn’t want to see, much less have to think about.

Life is hard when you have to stay out of sight in order to remain out of people’s minds. But—it’s still life, I suppose.

My fingers still throbbed from the burn earlier. Thank God for small favors; Jasmine hates coffee.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Face-book at facebook.com/alexteach

Out of Mind, Out of Sight

On The Beat

ALeX TeACH

“You’re going to suffocate if you seal that tent up, brother. carbon monoxide. I’m serious. Be careful. Better cold than dead, bro!”

Officer Alex spends a morning visiting his people at “home”

I can help you with errands, organization, housekeeping, meal preparation and so much more.

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the pulse 11.43 » october 23, 2014

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