the psychology of happiness - thinking differently...v isn’t so voluntary the power of the...
TRANSCRIPT
D A Y 2
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF
HAPPINESS
HOMEWORK DISCUSSION:
GRATITUDE DIARY EXERCISES
• # 1 Three Blessings:• Review the events of the past 24 hrs. • Then write down three things that have gone well for you
and/or that you are grateful occurred.• These can be small or large events.• Next, write down why you think they went well. Explain it in
any way that makes sense to you.
• # 2 Three Blessings in Disguise:• Review the events of the past 24 hrs. • Then write down three things that did not go well for you
and/or that you wish did not occur.• These can be small or large events.• Then for each, ask yourself, “How might this be a blessing in
disguise? What can I learn from this experience?”
HAPPINESS GUIDE
(REVIEW)
• What are three key ideas from last class that you found the most insightful?
SELF-ASSESSMENT
True or False
1. Our genes have little to do with our long term levels of happiness.
2. Our circumstances have large impact on our long term levels of happiness.
3. Based on studies by Daniel Gilbert, we are very good at predicting our future emotional states.
4. Most human behaviors are driven by conscious forces rather than unconscious forces.
WHY STUDY HAPPINESS?
• Behaviors often motivate by the desire for happiness.
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1965 1970 1975 1980 1985 1990 1995 2000 2005
Develop a meaningful philosophy of life
Be very well off financially
% “Very important or essential”
WHY BE HAPPY?
1960 – 2000:
• Tripled teen suicide rate.
• Soaring rate of depression—up to ten times the pre-World War II level by one estimate.
Myers, David G. (April 24, 2000) Wanting More in an Age of Plenty.
Dr. David Myers Hope College
POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY:
KNOW THY SELF
Psychologist Martin Seligman, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky
H = S + C + V
S = genetic set point
C = circumstances/conditions of living
V = voluntary activity
50%10%40%
Your thoughts. Your choices and actions.
PURSUIT OF “C” IS BACKWARDS:
The Happiness Advantage:
Our intuition has it backwards.
The happier a person is the…
• More likely they are to find solutions to problems.
• More likely they have a stable and happy relationships.
• More likely they are to have a promotion.
• More likely they are to make more money.
• More likely they are to live a healthier life and live longer.
POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY:
KNOW THY SELF
What about V?
V = voluntary activity (thoughts and actions)
Why do some of us think and act in ways that are detrimental to our happiness?
THE ROOTS OF UNHAPPINESS:
V ISN’T SO VOLUNTARY
The Power of the Unconscious Mind
Most of our thoughts and behaviors are governed by unconscious processes.
“Programs” of suffering
1. Inherited Brain Built for Survival Not Happiness
2. Poorly Conditioned (by Culture & Past Experience)
HOW UNCONSCIOUS ARE WE?
Do we know our motivations as well as we think we do?
ROOTS OF UNHAPPINESS:V ISN’T SO VOLUNTARY
THE DIVIDED SELF:
CONFLICTING MOTIVATIONS
VS Ramachandran (Neuroscientist, UCSD)
Split Brain Patients Research http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFJPtVRlI64
UNCONSCIOUS FORCES
The Big Idea:
A vast majority of our behaviors (both internal and external) are driven by unconscious forces that we are unaware of.
We may even believe we know why we do something when we actually do not.
WHAT THE CLASS IS ABOUT
So what to do?Two More analogies of the unconscious
H = S + C + V
DAY 2:
THE PLEASURABLE LIFE
• The Pursuit of Pleasure
• Compensating for the Negativity Bias
• Cultivating Resiliency
• Biology and Mood
THE PROBLEM WITH
THE PURSUIT OF PLEASURE
Suffering From Desires
1. Inappropriate desires
2. Hedonic Treadmill (Adaptation)
FREUD’S INTERESTING THEORY
Freud’s Unconscious
How does this explain behavior?
1. Unmet Needs / Desires
2. Lead to Tension/Impulses
3. Behaviors
Need
Drive
Response
Goal
(need reduction)
Model of Motivational Activities
Energized motivational state: hunger, thirstAction(s)
TargetOf Motivations
1. INAPPROPRIATE PURSUITS
*The Problem:
We are mostly unconscious of our true needs.
C - Conditions of Living – The thermostat problem
• It’s good to feel good. But often don’t last or lose their impact.
2. HEDONIC TREADMILL (ADAPTATION)
2. HEDONIC TREADMILL (ADAPTATION)
• We have the memory of the positive experience.
• We then can desire experiencing it again.
• We can adapt to the experience so that it doesn’t provide the same intensity of pleasure (sensory adaptation, boiled frog sydrome)
• So we then strive for more frequency or more intense pleasures.
• And the cycle continues, striving for more which is also accompanied by increased craving.
• May result in addiction. The craving becomes habit, though the actual emotional result is low.
2. HEDONIC TREADMILL (ADAPTATION)
Emotional Suffering?:
• Stress from always wanting more.
• Angry when not getting what you want.
• Fear of it not coming or losing what we have.
• Never able to appreciate what you have.
IS PURSUING PLEASURE BAD?
• No. Just that it doesn’t last.• Best if spread out.
• In fact, we often forget to treat ourselves, and appreciate what we do.
Exercise – Honoring Yourself:• Spend some time writing down things that give you
pleasure. • Experience them more, if possible. And try to practice
delayed gratification as rewards for little (or big) accomplishments as a way of honoring yourself.
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The Negativity Bias
(but first a demonstration of how we think and perceive)
THINKING ABOUT THINKING:
THINKING ABOUT THINKING:
THINKING ABOUT THINKING:
THINKING ABOUT THINKING
THINKING ABOUT THINKING
Habitual Pattern Recognition
(Short-cut / Rules of Thumb)
WHAT DO YOU PERCEIVE?
WHAT DO YOU PERCEIVE?
WHAT DO YOU PERCEIVE?
WHAT DO YOU PERCEIVE?
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn'tmttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a tatolmses and you can sitll raed it wouthitporbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamnmnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
THINKING ABOUT THINKING
Word Patterns
A man is born in 1990 and dies in 2010.
According to his death certificate, the man died when he
was 25 years old.
Is this possible?
THINKING ABOUT THINKING:
THINKING ABOUT THINKING
Dark, thin, long, curved
But we actually have a tendency to perceive “snake.”
?=
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NEGATIVITY BIAS:
CAUSES IN EVOLUTION
• “Sticks” - Predators, natural hazards, social aggression, pain• “Carrots” - Food, sex, shelter, social support, pleasure
• During evolution, avoiding “sticks” usually had more effects on survival than approaching “carrots.”
This mistake won’t kill you.
This mistake will.
NEGATIVITY BIAS
• How can the negativity bias lead to emotional suffering?
A MAJOR RESULT OF THE NEGATIVITY
BIAS:
THREAT REACTIVITY• Two mistakes:
• Thinking there is a tiger in the bushes when there isn’t one.• Thinking there is no tiger in the bushes when there is one.
• We evolved to make the first mistake a hundred times to avoid making the second mistake even once.
• This evolutionary tendency is intensified by temperament, personal history, culture, and politics. How?• Marketers, politicians, family members, institutions…
• s
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NEUROPLASTICITY:
PROOF FOR CHANGE
• Stroke Victims • Juggling Study
Definition: The brain’s ability to change, adapt, and rewire itself based on new experiences.
HOW TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVITY BIAS
OF MEMORY
• Foster positive ones to make them permanent parts of yourself.
LEARNING AND MEMORY
• The sculpting of the brain by experience is memory:
• Explicit:
• Personal recollections; semantic memory
• Implicit:• Bodily states; emotional residues; “views” (expectations,
object relations, perspectives); behavioral repertoire and inclinations; what it feels like to be “me”
• Implicit memory is much larger than explicit memory. Resources are embedded mainly in implicit memory.
• Therefore, the key target is implicit memory. So what matters most is not the explicit recollection of positive events but the implicit emotional residue of positive experiences.
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PULLING WEEDS AND
PLANTING FLOWERS
Make the positive aspects of your experience prominent and relatively intense in the foreground of your awareness while simultaneously placing the negative material in the background.
Gain more positive implicit memories.
Make “seeing the good” a habit.
GRATITUDE
• Do you see how gratitude can work?
• Training oneself to counteract the negativity bias.
• Increasing positive implicit memory.
• Thwarts hedonic adaptation:
• Helps us develop the skill to appreciate what we’ve learned to take for granted.
GRATITUDE
Robert EmmonsPsychologist, UC Davis
• Expressing gratitude strong effect on happiness.• Best to ritualize it, but vary.
See handout for descriptions of the following gratitude practices.
1. Gratitude Journal2. Gratitude Essay or Letter3. Gratitude Partner4. Meditate on Feelings of Gratitude5. Express Gratitude Directly6. Ritualize Endings
GRATEFULNESS AND MORE
Suggestions from Barbara FredricksonPsychologist, University of North Carolina
• Savor Subtle Source of Positivity:
• Can’t force positivity, but sources for it are often in abundance (smile, sunrise, children, small act of kindness, etc…)
• Studies show that positive emotions need not be intense or long lasting to be powerfully effective.
• Silver Linings:
• Combat the negativity bias by looking for positive meaning in life’s experiences. (Blessings in Disguise exercise)
CULTIVATE OPTIMISM
• Remembering that the future is unknown.
• Let Yourself Dream:
• Spend so much time worrying about the future
• Balance this by allowing yourself to dream, visualize, about your best possible outcome.
• We see what we are prepared to see.
• Exercise:
• Dream about the best possible outcome for you today. Visualize a future for yourself in which everything has turned out the way you’ve wanted. How could this day turn out perfectly for you?
WIRING OURSELVES FOR
POSITIVITY
• Dopamine is central to the operation of the reward system – codes positive experiences into memory.
• Serotonin is involved in mood regulation; high levels associated with pleasurable feelings, happiness.
POSITIVE EMOTIONS:
NOT JUST ABOUT “FEELING GOOD”
Negative Emotions• Fight or flight, hyper vigilance, worry, very important for survival as it puts us in
a physiological state to act quickly in the face of danger.
• Narrows focus
• Invested in the immediate, present.
Positive Emotions, Broaden-and-Build Theory (Barbara Fredrickson): • Broadens our view of possible actions, expands awareness,
• Allows us to see big picture.
• Leads to exploration, experiential learning, creativity, play, building new skills
• Investment in future.
Studies show that Positive Emotions � Success • (regardless of how success is measured – marital satisfaction, salary, physical
health, etc.)
STRIVE FOR 3:1 RATIO
Based on Barbara Fredrickson studies:
• The amount of negative emotions is inappropriate for our optimal functioning.
• Need 3:1 ratio of positive emotions to negative emotions to reach “flourishing” range.
SHARING IN THE JOYS OF OTHERS
Sharing the joys of others not just good for you.
• Capitalization = the act of sharing news of a positive event with another.
• Researcher Shelly Gable (UCSB): capitalization more closely correlated to relationship satisfaction and break-ups than partners responses to negative events.
• Active Constructive Responding correlated with high levels of relationship satisfaction.
SHARING IN THE JOYS OF OTHERS
Four Types of Responding
1. Active Constructive (authentic, enthusiastic support)• Feeling the joy with the person, asking for details to help savor the
news.
• Example: “That’s wonderful news, I’m so happy for you! Tell me more about what happened.”
2. Passive Constructive (quiet, understated support)
3. Active Destructive (demeaning or quashing the news)
4. Passive Destructive (ignoring the event)
SHARING THE JOYS OF OTHERS
What we can do?
• Be more of an active constructive responder with others.
• Capitalize more, especially with those that are active constructive responders to you. • Studies show that simply communicating positive events with
others is associated with increased positive affect and well-being.
• Combine capitalizing with Gratitude Exercises (share your gratitudes with others).
ACTIVITY
• List specific examples from the past two weeks when you where in a negative or unhappy state and describe what occurred that triggered this feeling.
• Be sure to describe both the triggering event, your emotional response, and the thoughts that accompanied it.
RESILIENCY
• Definition:• Resilience refers to the ability to cope with adversity, or
“persevere and adapt when things go awry.”
• We often can’t control our conditions of living (C)
• But the majority of our suffering isn’t the result of C. It’s the result of our thoughts and beliefs about C.
• The Buddha understood this a couple thousands years earlier.
RESILIENCY
• Psychological Research:
• Resilient people have flexible thinking and can avoid exaggeration, hence more accurate thinking.
• Issues arise from…
• Explanatory Style
• Cognitive Distortions
• Buddha
• First Darts: The events in our lives that cause pain and suffering.
• Second Darts: The judgments we make about these events that perpetuate and exaggerate our suffering.
HOW TO DEVELOP RESILIENCY:THE LIMBIC SYSTEM (AMYGDALA) & PFC
HOW TO DEVELOP RESILIENCY:
LIMBIC SYSTEM (SUBCORTICAL)
• Thalamus: • sensory switchboard to
cortex;
• Hypothalamus:• Regulates emotional
behaviors and motives (e.g., sex, hunger, rage, hormone release)
• Hippocampus: • Critical for memory formation.
• Amygdala: • Determines if stimuli should be
approached or feared
AMYGDALA
The amygdala
Responsible for assessing threat
Damage to the amygdala results in abnormality in processing fear.
chapter 13
THE AMYGDALA
PREFRONTAL CORTEX (PFC)
Need to exercise control over older, strong, emotional and instinctual brain of the subcortex.
Sustained AttentionSelf-Monitoring
Impulse Control(behavioral inhibition)Emotional Modulation
RESILIENCY
The Big Idea:
• Become more aware of ones emotional reactions and judgments. Then consciously choose an appropriate response, challenging negative thoughts that may not be accurate.
Activity:
• Think of some examples within the last 48 ours when you threw 2nd darts at yourself and list them down.
• Then try to reword the 2nd darts in more neutral (accurate), non-judgmental language.
RESILIENCY EXERCISE
Exercise:
As you go through your day, try to catch yourself during those moments when you throw second darts at yourself. Then, while you are conscious of the dart, ask yourself the following question: Is there a way to rephrase this experience in more neutral, non-judgmental language that still accurately describes my circumstances? Often times, neutral language provides a more accurate description than the language that occurs as a result of our negativity bias.
PRACTICING NON-JUDGMENT:
FORGIVENESS
• Forgiveness of others (letting go of unnecessary judgments of others).
• Forgiveness of ourselves (letting go of unnecessary judgments of oneself).
• Frequent forgiveness exercise:
• Reflect on any feelings of guilt, or thoughts of self-criticism, that you may be holding onto. As you are experiencing these feelings and thoughts, try to see yourself as a dear friend that is worthy of forgiveness. Then, imagine what you would say to this friend to indicate that you have forgiven him or her.
BIOLOGY & MOOD
• Sleep & Rest
• Circadian rhythms
• Food
• Physical Activity (endorphins, and stress relief)
WHAT THE CLASS IS ABOUT:
HAPPINESS?
• 1. The Pleasurable Life
• Happiness related to the quality of one’s emotions.
• 2. The Good Life
• Happiness related to the quality of one’s engagement with the world; satisfaction.
• 3. The Meaningful Life
• Happiness related to human flourishing and one’s sense of purposeful living.