BUILDING A SUCCESSFUL FUTUREONE STUDENT AT A TIME!!!

THE ULTIMATE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SYSTEM

Self Control means: I stop and think before I act!

Self Control means: Taking the time to think through choices

rather than act on impulse.

S E L F C O N T R O L

PARENTS PERCH FEBRUARY2013

S E L F C O N T R O LYoung students: I stop and think before I act!

Older students/teens/adults: Taking the time to think through choices rather than act on impulse.

UPCOMING POWERFUL WORDS

March Anger ManagementApril AttitudeMay Manners

Week 1 Self Control defined: Thinking through problems & solutions

Week 2 Interrupting & asking politely: Getting needs met using self control

Week 3 Mistakes & apologies: Making mistakes, apologizing and making things right.

Week 4 Temptations & choices: Refraining from stealing, lying, acting out, etc.

Dear Family,

This month we will focus on the Powerful Word, “self control.”

Self control is the second concept in our three month curriculum aimed at empathic goal-setting, problem-solving and relationship management. Coming on the heels of “empathy” month, focusing on self control further demonstrates how we can be in control of our own actions as our actions affect others.

Self control refers to the ability to stop, think, and choose wisely before acting. When we show self control, we refrain from doing the first thing that “pops into our heads.” Self control is a vital social skill that allows people to think through choices before taking action.

During the month, we will talk to the youngest students about

how, just like a traffic light, our brain needs to tell our bodies when to stop (red light!) and when to go (green light!). We will also help students think through whether a solution is safe and fair. We will teach older students to apply the “Powerful S.T.E.P. Procedure” to various everyday problems and solutions. The S.T.E.P. procedure is as follows:

• S--Stop or Slow Down • T--Think through the

problem and solutions • E--Evaluate the solutions

P--Proceed with the plan or try another solution!

Recent research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (Jan, 2011), followed 1000 children over three decades. It found that those children who have high self control, compared to those with low self control, are significantly less likely to

have multiple health problems, addictions, money struggles and criminal records by adulthood.

The research confirms the findings of the famous “marshmallow study,” which found that children who were able resist eating a marshmallow placed in front of them in order to get two of them later scored an average of 210 points higher on the SAT than non-waiters. It’s true; good things come to those who wait!

We look forward to partnering with you on discussing self control this month!

Here’s to your success!

Best Regards,

—Your Motivated and Dedicated Instructors

© 2013 Powerful Words Character DevelopmentFor more Powerful parenting information, go to www.DrRobynSilverman.com.

FEBRUARY2013

Young students: “I stop and think before I act!”Older students/teens/adults: Taking the time to think through choices rather than act on impulse.

S E L F C O N T R O L

DEAR DR. ROBYN

Dear Lauren & Steve,

As parents, we sometimes feel like we have to hold our breath and hope for the best when our children employ a “just go for it” attitude. A courageous spirit can be a great resource. However, sometimes, it can come at the expense of self control!

I think we can encourage positive risk-taking while also supporting positive problem solving WITH self control. In order to do this, I teach the Powerful S.T.E.P. program to children:

S-- Stop or Slow Down: Tell your children; before jumping in or making a snap decision, stop for a moment. Taking a minute or two to consider safety and fairness can ward off consequences that your children may regret later

T-- Think through the problem or choice: Ask your

children to ask themselves; To what am I saying yes? Do I want to do this?

E-- Evaluate the solutions or choices: Once your children determine the choice they want to make, have them ask themselves; Is this choice safe? Is this choice fair?

P-- Proceed with the plan. Once it’s determined that the choice is safe and fair, have them go ahead with it. If it isn’t working or they feel that the choice is no longer safe or fair, tell them they can always change direction.

Example: Climbing a tree

S-Stop.T- Think. “I am saying yes to climbing the tree to the top. I want to do this.E- Evaluate. “The tree is over sharp rocks and doesn’t have very sturdy branches- not safe for me

and not fair to my family.” OR “I’ve climbed this tree hundreds of times since I was young, there is soft grass below and sturdy branches. It’s not a tall tree. I feel safe and I think it’s a fair choice.”P- Proceed (or try something else)!

When we provide strategies for our children to use, we teach them how to think through problems and solutions WITH self control!

Here’s to your success!

Dear Dr. Robyn,

We joke that our children have “no fear.” They simply don’t think much before they try something...zip lining, rock-climbing, jumping off whatever they can! I love that they try new things but I don’t want them to get hurt! How can I teach them to slow down and have some self control?

-- Lauren & Steve G, Boca Raton, FL << Paraphrased from an email; with permission

© 2013 Powerful Words Character DevelopmentFor more Powerful parenting information, go to www.DrRobynSilverman.com.

Self control means “I stop and think before I act!” When we use self control, we don’t do the first thing that pops into our heads. Instead, we slow down and think, is this behavior OK? Is it safe? Is it fair? When a behavior is a bad choice, think of the red light on a traffic light. Stop! When a behavior is a good choice, think of the green light on a traffic light. Go! Below, circle the red light if the person is NOT showing self control. Circle the green light if the person IS showing self control. Then draw yourself showing self control!

Kate wanted to ask her Dad to put batteries in her favorite toy. He was working. She ran into his office and

said, “fix this now please!” Circle the red light if she did not use self control. Circle the green light if she did use self control.

Elia’s mother asked that she sit and play quietly while Rudy, her brother, took a nap. She wanted to run around but drew

at the table instead. Circle the red light if Elia did not use self control. Circle the green light if Elia did use self control.

Bruno wanted to make his friend, Max, laugh in school. While they were supposed to be reading, Bruno stuck his

tongue out at Max. Circle the red light if Bruno did not use self control. Circle the green light if Bruno did use self control.

Draw a picture of YOU showing self control.

In this picture, I am: ________________

FEBRUARY2013

S E L F C O N T R O L

POWERFUL PROJECTAGES 4–7

FIRST & LAST NAME:____________________________________

For more Powerful parenting information, go to www.DrRobynSilverman.com.© 2012 Powerful Words Character Development

Your friend needs to do well on the next test.

What are two good solutions that show self control?

(1) _____________________________________

(2) _____________________________________

What is one bad solution that doesn’t show self control?

(1) ________________________________________

Safe? Fair? Will it work?

Example: She can go to the teacher for extra help.

You are done eating dinner but your family is still eating.

What are two good solutions that show self control?

(1) _____________________________________

(2) _____________________________________

What is one bad solution that doesn’t show self control?

(1) ________________________________________

Safe? Fair? Will it work?

What are two ways that you have shown self control lately?

(1) _______________________________________________________________

(2) _______________________________________________________________

Self control means taking the time to think through choices instead of acting on impulse. When we use self control, we don’t do the first thing that pops into our heads. When we want to solve a problem, use S.T.E.P. Stop! Think! Evaluate and Proceed. We can ask ourselves; Is it safe? Is it fair? Will it work? Only then can we move forward. Below, come up with some solutions and check off whether they are safe, fair and if they’ll work!

FEBRUARY2013

S E L F C O N T R O L

POWERFUL PROJECTAGES 7 & UP

FIRST & LAST NAME:

For more Powerful parenting information, go to www.DrRobynSilverman.com.© 2012 Powerful Words Character Development

First & Last Name: ____________________________________________________

For more Powerful parenting information, go to www.DrRobynSilverman.com.

“Self control is maximized the moment we realize that the only person’s behavior we can control is our own...and so we do.” -- Dr. Robyn Silverman, keynote on leadership

Think of a time in your childhood, adolescence or young adulthood when the main reason for lack of success was due to the fact that your self control was not in tact; a time when you allowed yourself to blame others for your failures. Now think of a time when that all changed-- when you applied yourself and took control of your actions as well as your mistakes. Looking back, how was the process and results affected? And from these experiences, what advice would you have for others?

A time when my lack of success was due to my lack of self control: _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A time when my success was due to how I applied myself and my self control: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

How was the process & results of your goal affected by taking control- mistakes & all? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What key piece of advice would you have for someone else who was struggling to succeed? ___________________________________________________________________________

FEBRUARY2013

S E L F C O N T R O L

POWERFUL PROJECTTEENS AND ADULTS

© 2012 Powerful Words Character Development

FEBRUARY2013

Young students: “I stop and think before I act!”Older students/teens/adults: Taking the time to think through choices rather than act on impulse.

S E L F C O N T R O L

POWERFUL CHALLENGE

The Powerful Challenge for this month is using self control. Self control is NOT doing the first thing that pops into our heads and making sure we stop, think and make a good choice before be act. We show self control when we refrain from stealing, lying or cheating even when we really want something or we don’t want to get into trouble. We show self control when we ask for something politely without interrupting others in conversation. We also show self control when we take time to practice or study, stand still while waiting our turn and keep our hands (and feet!) to ourselves when we get annoyed or angry. Take note of the ways that you show self control at home, at school, here in class or in your community this month. Challenge yourself! We know you can do it!

STUDENT NAME CHALLENGE COMPLETED?

© 2013 Powerful Words Character DevelopmentFor more Powerful parenting information, go to www.DrRobynSilverman.com.