PraiseforTheOnlyLittlePrayerYouNeed

“A delightful little book on healing our fear-based thoughts throughprayer.”

—JONMUNDY,PHD,authorofLivingACourseinMiracles

andpublisherofMiraclesmagazine

“Supposethereisapathtoabetter life that isreallythemostsimplething,themostdirectroutetoimmediateeffects?Andwhatifthiscostyou nothing, took little of your time, and had absolutely no risk ofbackfiringorhurtinganybodyelse?Youareabouttofindsuchagiftinthisbook,andyouwillsoondiscoverthatallofyourfearsgrewoutofnothing.Insodoingyouarealsoabout toembarkona lifewhereforgiveness becomes a tangible practice, and being fixated on fearbecomesathingofthepast.”

—DR.LEEJAMPOLSKY,authorofSmileforNoGoodReasonand

HowtoSayYesWhenYourBodySaysNo

“DebraEngle'sTheOnlyLittlePrayerYouNeedtookmybreathawayasIsatreadingit.LikeEngle,I,too,havebeenastudentofACourseinMiraclesforthirtyyears.Andalsolikeher,ithastaughtmealltheimportantspiritualtoolsIrelyoneveryday.However,herlittleprayerprovidesamuch-neededshortcut topeace-filled living thateveryone,Coursestudentornot,canusedaily.Hourly,evenminutebyminute.Thankyou,Debra.Ineededtoreadyourbooktoday.Ineededtoshiftmyperceptiononacurrentsituationandyourbookandprayerdidjustthatforme.”

—KARENCASEY,PHD,authorofEachDayaNewBeginning

Copyright©2014byDebraLandwehrEngleBlessing©2014TenzinGyatso,HisHolinesstheXIVDalaiLamaAllrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproducedortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,electronicormechanical,includingphotocopying,recording,orbyanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystem,withoutpermissioninwritingfromRedWheel/Weiser,LLC.Reviewersmayquotebriefpassages.

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Contents

BlessingfromHisHoliness,theDalaiLamaPreface

1:ThePrayer2:WhatItMeans3:WhatIsFear?4:HowDoesFearImpactYourLife?5:WhatMakesThisPrayerDifferent?6:HowDoYouSaythePrayer?7:PayingAttentiontoYourThoughts8:WhatCanYouExpectWhenYouStart?9:WhatHappensOverTime?10:HowDoesthePrayerWorkinRealLife?11:HowthePrayerCanChangetheWorld

Q&AAndFinally

BlessingHisHoliness,theDalaiLama

Honest concern for others is the key factor in improving our day-to-daylives.Whenyouarewarm-hearted,thereisnoroomforanger,jealousy,orinsecurity. A calmmind and self-confidence are the basis for happy andpeaceful relationswitheachother.Healthy,happy familiesandahealthy,peacefulnationaredependentonwarm-heartedness.Some scientistshaveobserved that constant anger and fear eat away at our immune system,whereasacalmmindstrengthensit.Wehavetoseehowwecanfundamentallychangeoureducationsystem

sothatwecantrainpeopletodevelopwarm-heartednessearlyoninorderto create a healthier society. I don't mean we need to change the wholesystem—justimproveit.Weneedtoencourageanunderstandingthatinnerpeace comes from relying on human values like love, compassion,tolerance, and honesty, and that peace in the world relies on individualsfindinginnerpeace.

—HISHOLINESS,THEDALAILAMA

Preface

I'm not the type of person who typically asks someone to pray. That'salways seemed preachy, personal, and presumptuous. In fact, I've evenbristledslightlyattheword“prayer”—alongwith“God,”“Jesus,”andthe“HolySpirit”—becausethosewordshavesuchparticularmeaningstoeachindividual, and my understanding might be very different from myneighbor's.But about thirty years ago, I started studying A Course in Miracles,

whichisdescribedas“spiritualpsychotherapy.”WhilethiscourseincludesChristianlanguage,it'sapathnottoreligion,buttopeaceofmind—adeeppeacethatresidesinsideeachofuswithhelpfromahigherpower.Even though I've studied and taught theCourse for years, I still learn

more about its teachings every day—and sometimes not in the mostcomfortableways.Followinganyspiritualpathtypicallyislikeamaze.Aswemake forwardprogress,we're likely to take a lot ofdetours along theway.Wedon'tgetalltheanswersatonce.Andevenwhenwedohavean“ah-ha”moment, wemay find ourselves in a new and tricky part of themazethatwe'veneverseenbefore.We're at a time on this planetwhenwe need tomake a leap forward,

skipping over years of wandering so we canmovemore directly towardpeace—bothwithinourselvesandwithinourworld.And that's why I'mwriting this book. This story is about a seemingly

smalleventinmylifethattookonmiraculoussignificancebecauseofthelessonsthatcamewithit.I'mnotatheologian;infact,I'vefoundmostofmyspiritualsustenance

outsidetraditionalreligion.ButIbelievewe'rereturningtoatimewhenwe“remember”andunderstandour individualconnection to thedivine.Eachofushasadirectrelationshipwithahigherpower,andit'sbycallingonanddeveloping that relationship thatwe can experiencewhatmight be called

miraculouschangesinourlives.Myhusband,Bob,andIhavehadourshareoftragediesandhurtsinour

lives.Bothofushavegone throughdivorce.Bob losthis elder son to anillness no one could ever identify.We've both known times of financialstruggle.And, inmycapacityas co-founderof a spirituality andpersonalgrowthprogram,I'veworkedforyearswithwomenwhoareexperiencingeverythingfromthelifelongeffectsofearlysexualabusetotheuncertaintyof their primary relationship, their stageof life, or their children's futuresduetomentalhealthordrugabuseissues.Thewaywedealwithallof thesechallengesdefines thequalityofour

lifeandourpeaceofmind.Andwith thehelpof theCourse, Ialsoknowthattryingtodoitwithouthelpfromahigherpowerisnotgoingtogetuswherewewanttogo.I believe that when you use the prayer in this book, you'll experience

steadyprogresstowardalifeofgreaterinternalpeace.Muchofthedramaandchaosaroundyouwillsubside.Andwhatremainswillhavelessimpactonyou,bouncingoffofyoubecauseyou'renolongerawillinghost.Ascrazyasitsounds,Ithinkthisprayerisananswertoprayer.It'sapath

toabetterlife.Andit'sthesimplestthingpossible.Nowallwehavetodoisactuallyuseit.SohereIam,askingyoutopray.

one

ThePrayer

It was January 11, 2013, and I felt like it had already been a long year.Earlierintheweek,I'dmadeasignificantmistakewithamajorclient.And,eventhougheveryoneonmyprojectteamwasgraciousandunderstanding,Ihadahard timeforgivingmyself for it. Infact,at threeo'clock thenextmorning,IwokeuppanickedthatI'dsentthewrongfiletothesameclient.Ifeltlikesomeonehadshovedalittorchdownmythroat.Tired, and clearly not in the best ofmoods, I drovewithmy husband,

Bob, topickupourHondaCR-Vat thebodyshop.Thedriver'sdoorhadbeen damaged in a minor accident at a grocery store parking lot. Afterrentingaseriesofcars,Iwasreadytoclimbintoavehiclethatfitmeagain.WhenIdid, Iwaspleased tosee that thedentwasrepaired,aswas the

gapbetweenthewindowandthedoorframe.Bobopenedmydriver'sdoortocheckitout.“Itlooksgood,”Isaid.“I'mhappy.”Butthedoordidn'tcloseproperly.Bobopeneditandshutitharder,but

hehadtoslamitbeforeitlatched.Mymood,whichhadbeenmomentarilylifted,startedagainonadownwardslope.Bob talked to thebodyshopmanagerandmadearrangements formore

repairinthenextcoupleofweeks.Inthemeantime,wefigured,wecouldgoaheadandreturntherental.I drove the CR-V, following Bob down the highway toward the

interstate.Beforelong,Iheardarattleinthedash,thenavibration.EverytimeIhitabumpintheroad,itseemedliketherattlesgotworse—andsodidmyattitude.It'snotreallyfixed,Ithought.Ithastogobacktotheshop,andit'llnever

beright.Fromthere,mythoughtstookanosedive.Ithoughtaboutthefactthat the accident had been preventable. It wouldn't have happened if I'dbeendriving insteadofBob.My thoughtsheaded fast intoa cesspool, allblaming Bob, the body shop mechanic, or myself for weeks ofinconvenience, expense and frustration. As I drove, I become moremiserable.Idon'tknowaboutyou,butI'vespentwaytoomuchtimeinthatcesspool

duringmy life.Despite the fact that I've long been a student of spiritualtraditions, meditation, and spiritual practices—I've even taught them formanyyears—I still findmy thoughts drifting toomuch to the negative. Icaneasily fall into irritationor frustration.When I'mstressed, I'munkindandsnippy,sometimesdownrightmean.Aswearrivedatthecardealershiptoreturntherental,Iwasexhausted.

Notjustfromthelastfewminutesofnegativethinking,butfromyearsofit.In thiscase, Iwasafraid theCR-Vwouldneverbe right. Iwasafraid I'dneverforgiveBob.IwasafraidI'dalwaysbemadthathewasdrivingtheday of the accident. I was afraid we wouldn't get reimbursed from theinsurance company. I was afraid, as I've been many times before, that Iwouldcontinuetobeunhappy.Ihadhadallthesethoughts,orsomefacsimileofthem,literallyhundreds

ifnot thousandsof timesbefore.Our issuesofmoney,unexpectedeventsandthefuturewereneverresolved.Itwasn'tbecauseBobandInevertalkedaboutthem;wedid.Butsomehownothingeverreallyseemedtoshift.AsIsat in theCR-VwhileBobwent inside tohandle thepaperwork,I

genuinelywantedtodosomethingdifferent,butthatwasjustit:Icouldn'tdoit.Mymindhadcreatedtheproblem,andIcouldn'tfixitwiththatsamemind. What I wanted was a breath of fresh air—a whoosh of love,acceptance,andhealing.Iknewthatcouldn'tcomefromme.Ithadtocomefromanotherpower.Ithoughtaboutmyoptions,andtheonlyonethatseemedfeasiblewasto

askforhelp.Isatbackinthedriver'sseat,lookedoutovertheseaofcarsatthedealershipparkinglot,andfoundmyselfsayingthesewordstotheHolySpirit:

Ihadneversaidthatprayerbefore.Infact,itjustshowedup.Andatthetime,itdidn'tseemlikeanythingremarkable.Afterall,whenwe'reinpain,weturntoahigherpowerforhealingwithwhateverwordscomefromtheheart.Butwhathappenednexttookittoawholedifferentlevel.

two

WhatItMeans

WhenBobgot in theCR-V,Iwasstill inabadmood.Theprayerhadn'tchangedanything—orsoIthought.“Well,”Ibegan,withplentyofattitude,“therearebigrattlesinthedash,

andonetimeIheardwindcomingthroughthedriver'swindow.”Bobjotteddownnotesforthebodyshopmanager.“Anythingelse?”he

asked,genuinelyhelpful.“No,” I said glumly as I pulledout into traffic. “You'll hear the rattles

whenwehitsomebumps.”Ipulledontotheinterstate,andBobtrainedhiseartowardthedashboard

tohearwhatIwastalkingabout.Wehitacoupleofbumpsand...nothing.No rattle, no vibration. I figured the vibrationsweremuffled by the roadnoiseinheavytraffic.Butwehitmorebumps...stillnothing.About halfway home, Bob said, “I haven't heard anything yet, have

you?”“No,” I said,almostdisappointed.Howcould Imakehimfeelguilty if

nothingwaswrong? “We'll hear itwhenweget on the highway,” I said,thinkingbiggerbumpswouldrevealtherattles.But there weren't any. Not a single sound all the way home. The

problemsseemedtohavedisappeared.Huh,Ithought,stillpoutingaswepulledinthedrive.WhenIwent inside,partofmewasglad,andanotherpartfeltcheated.

I'dwantedtopunishBobbysaying,“See,it'sreallymessedupandit'sallyourfault.”Ihungupmycoat,lookedthroughthemail,andthenstartedhearingmy

innervoicetalking.Essentially,thisiswhatitsaid:

Oh,Ithought,inthemundanesortofwaythatsometimesprecedesgreatchange.A change inmy internal perception had just shiftedmy externalenvironment.This,intheteachingsofACourseinMiracles,wouldqualifyasamiracle,areturntowhattheCoursecalls“right-mindedness.”AslongasIwasrattled,Ineededrattlesinmydashtohelpmeheal.But

whenmythoughtswerehealed,therattleswerenolongerneeded.This “ah-ha” moment spread through me slowly like a warm drink. I

realizeditwasbig—somethingthat,despiteallmyyearsofspiritualstudy,Ihadneverunderstoodinquitethiswaybefore.WayneDyerhaslongsaid:“Changethewayyoulookatthings,andthe

things you look at change.” In otherwords, change your perception, andyourworldlooksdifferent.I get that. If I believe the world is a scary place, I'm going to see

dangeroussituationseverywhere.IfIchangemyperceptiontobelievingtheworldisasafeplace,I'mgoingtoseehelpandsupporteverywhere.Butthiswasdifferent.

“Changethewayyoulookatthings,andthethingsyoulookatchange.”—WAYNEDYER

“Bob,”Isaid,“wehavesomethingimportanttotalkabout,andit'sreallygood, so let's sit down.” I'm surehe coulddetect a changeof tone inmy

voice.We sat at the kitchen counter, opened a bag of Ruffles and a bag of

carrots,andproppedourlegsoneachother'schairslikeweusuallydo.IexplainedthewholetriptotherentalcarfacilityandhowangryIhad

been.ItoldhimhowIaskedformyfear-basedthoughtstobehealed—afterwhichtherattlesinthecarhaddisappeared.“I think this is what happened,” I said. “We come into this life with

certain lessons to learnabout loveandacceptance.Andsoeverysituationandrelationshipisheretohelpusbecomemorelovingandaccepting.Theygiveusopportunitiestolearn.“Whenweaskforourfear-basedthoughtstobehealed,we'reaskingto

replacefearwithloveandacceptance.Whenourthoughtsarehealed,wenolongerneedthelesson,andthecircumstancesorissuesgoaway.”It struckme that this truly is thesecret.Whenour thoughtsarehealed,

wenolongerneedthelesson,andthecircumstancesorissuesgoaway.It'salsoincrediblysimple,whichiswhywestruggleagainstitorforgettoaskforhelp.Howcoulditpossiblybeeffectivewhenit'ssoeasy?Butwhenwecan remember to ask for our thoughts to be healed, not only are wechanged,our“problems”mayeventuallyceasetoexist.Aftermunchingonafewmorepotatochipsandcarrots,BobandIpulled

out a sheet of paper and wrote down all the major things we have fearthoughtsabout.Money:earning,spending,saving,andinvesting.Ourhomeand property. Our businesses. Friends and family. Hormones. Theeconomy.Asthelistgrew,werealizedwehavefear-basedthoughtsaboutprettymucheverythinginonewayoranother.Then,forthenextthirtyminutes,wewentthrougheachitemonthelist,

takingturnsaskingthatourfear-basedthoughtsaboutthatitembehealedsowecouldberestoredtoright-mindedness.Insomecasesourrequestsweregeneric;insomecasestheyweremore

specific. With health, Bob asked for his fear-based thoughts aboutglaucomaandhisgluten intolerance tobehealed.Formoney, I asked formyfearsaboutretirementsavingstobehealed.Wewentthroughtheentirelist,takingourtime,beingthoughtfulabout

everyitem.Whenweweredone,weweren'tsurewhathadjusthappened,orwhatwouldhappennext.ButIcantellyouonething:mybadmoodwaslonggone,andharmonyhadbeenrestored.

three

WhatIsFear?

ThestoryoftheCR-Vmayseemunremarkable,butthat'sreallythepoint.Inlife,weoftenlookforbigstories,bigmiracles:thewomanwholiftsthebusoffherchild,ortheblindpersonwhosesightissuddenlyrestored.Buttherealmiracleisthechangeinourmindsthatmakesitpossibleforustolivea lifeof joyandpeacerather thanoneofstruggleandinternalchaos.Thosemiraclesareavailabletouseveryday,simplybyshiftingfromfeartolove.Thetrickistomakethatshiftinarealandlastingway.That'swhy,afterBobandI talked, thewarmdrink insidemefeltmore

nourishingasIrealizedhowprofoundthiswas.Isatdownatthecomputerandstarted towriteabout it. “This isBIG!” Iwrote.“Really, reallyBIG!Wedon'tneedtofixtheproblem.Weneedtohaveourthoughtsabouttheproblemhealed.Whenwedothat, there'snolongeraneedfor thelesson.Whateverneededtobefixedorhealedwillnolongerbeanissue.”Attheriskofsoundingoverlydramatic,Ibelievethisistheanswerwe're

lookingfor.Thisistheonethingthatcouldchangeyourworld.LetmetellyouwhyIbelievethatsostrongly.AccordingtoACourseinMiracles,ourmindshavetwosides.Oneisthe

ego. Unlike our traditional definition of the ego, which connotes peoplewhoareboastfulorfullofthemselves,theCoursemakestheegoseemlikeatwo-year-oldonspeed.Demanding,pronetotantrumsandoutbursts,theegorunsonfear.Theotherpart represents thehigherSelf,which remembers thatweare

children ofGod.Quiet and respectful, it communicates throughwhispersandgentlenudgesasitexpressesandextendsdivinelove.We live in aworld that feedsour egoswith fear.We're bombardedby

fear-based messages every day. Terrorism will get us, or earthquakes orglobalwarming or the economy.Andwe're constantly judged or judgingourselves: for what we're wearing, our hair, our car, our home, ourproductivity, our performance on the job, our kids' accomplishments, andonandon.Onceyoustarttobreakitdown,youseethatfearispervasive,likeacancerthat'sgottenintoourbones.We can also feed our higher Selves in thisworld, butwe do that in a

differentway—onethat'snotnearlyassexyasbigdramacanbe.Wefeeditthrough meditation, self-reflection, stillness, time in nature, and othertypicallyquietpursuitsthatallowustolistentothevoicewithin.Bydoingthesethings,webecomemoreawareofthelightwithinus,thelovethatistheessenceofwhoweare.Thinkofitthisway:Ouressence,orlove,islikeaflamethatnevergoes

out.Butthatflameburnsinsidealanternthat'scoveredindirt—coveredinfear. The more fearful our thoughts, the more opaque the walls of thelanternbecome,untilwecan'tseetheflameinsideatall.Wemayforgettheflame is there,or feel like ithasno impactonour livesbecausewedon'tknowhowtoaccessit.Atthatpoint,fearrulesourexistence.That'swhytheCoursesays,“Yourtaskisnottoseekforlove,butmerely

to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have builtagainstit.”Inotherwords,whiletheworldpilesfearontopofourlight,ourjob is to remember that light within. When we do, whatever seemed toconcealitceasestoexist.That'swheretheprayercomesin.

Let'slookmorecloselyatfearandlove.WhenIteachtheCourse,Ifindithelpstopicturetwotrees.Let'snameonethe“FearTree”andtheotherthe“LoveTree.”Ido this isbecauseour typicaldefinitionsof fear and love are limited.

Whenwethinkoffear,weusually thinkof thingswe'reafraidof:cancer,economiccrisis,losingourjobs,ourkidsbeinghurt,personalloss,death.Whenwethinkoflove,wetypicallythinkofromanticlove,orthelove

wehaveforourkids,orourpets,orourbestfriend.Butwhenyoustoptoreallythinkaboutit,allouremotionsarerootedin

eithertheFearTreeortheLoveTree.

The branches of the Love Tree yield kindness, compassion, caring,

creativity, joy, playfulness, peace, acceptance, and the biggest one,forgiveness—allthefeelingsthatarerootedinlove.ThebranchesoftheFearTreeyieldhurt,anger,meanness,violence,and

thebiggestone,judgment—allthefeelingsthatarerootedinfear.

“Alotofthethoughtswethinkeveryday—theoverwhelmingmajorityofthem—arerootedinfear.”

Infact,fearyieldsmanythingsthatwedon'tusuallyattributetoit.Itmaybeeasy, for instance, toseehowworry is rooted infear.Buthowis,say,boastfulnessaformoffear?Well,let'straceitbacktowhereitcomesfrom:youfeel insecureaboutyourworth,youfeelyou'vegot toproveyourself,and so you brag about your accomplishments. In truth, you're afraid thatpeoplewon't like you, that youdon'tmatter, that youdon't deserve to behere.Whenyou'reboastful,you'rereallyactingfromfear.Alotofthethoughtswethinkeveryday—andImeantheoverwhelming

majority of them—are rooted in fear.And yetwe don't think about themthatwaybecause they'reabout themundane, likerattles in thedashboard.Sure, we're aware of major threats: job loss, death, life-changing illness,financialcollapse,naturaldisasters, terroristattacks.But the insidiousnessoffearisthatitcreepsintothecracksbetweenthosethreatsandsettlesin,oftenunnoticed.Itbecomesaconstantcoverofdarknessthatneverallowsustofullyexperiencetheinnerlight.Let'slookatalistoffear-basedthoughtsasaquickreference.

AbandonmentAngerAnxietyAttackBoastfulnessBullyingControlConformity,livingaccordingtoothers'expectationsattheexpenseofyouruniquegifts

DepressionFalsehumilityFeelingsuperiortoothersFeelingnotgoodenough,unloved,asthoughyoudon'tmatterGossipGreedGriefGuiltInsecurityIrritationJealousyJudgmentLonelinessMalevolenceMartyrdomMeannessNeedforpowerNervousnessPanicPessimismPovertyRevengeSacrificeSadnessScarcityShameSuspicionDistrustUnhappinessViolence

Thisisnotacompletelist.AndI'mnotsayingtheseemotionsareall“bad.”They're part of our human experience. Grief, for instance, can be anexpressionoflove,andit'sanimportantpartofhealing.Angercanproducegreatclarity.Thegoalisnottoeradicatefearthoughtsoremotions,buttoshiftfrom

thought practices that are primarily fear-based to ones that are primarilylove-based.Let'slookatalistoflove-basedthoughts:

AcceptanceCaringComfortCompassionConfidenceContentednessCourtesyCreativityDelightEncouragementExpansionForgivenessFreedomGenerosity

GiftsGraceGratitudeHealingHonestyJoyKindnessPatiencePeacePlayfulnessPresenceRespectSharingSolaceWarm-heartednessWillingness

Onemore thing: Imentioned that judgment is thebiggestnuton theFearTree. Why? Because it makes us think we're separate from others—especiallyseparate fromGod.Thinkofeverything that judgmentcan leadto:bullying,violence, resentment, lackof forgiveness, loneliness. In eachcase,judgmentleadstoisolationandan“usvs.them”mentality.Here'sthesimplestofexamples:Iseeanoldclassmateandthink,Boy,shelooksold.Shemusthaveputon

thirtypounds.Andwhydoesn'tshecolorherhair?Itwouldmakeherlooksomuchyounger.Firstofall,ick.Butthesearethekindsofthoughtsthatcanpopintoour

minds,right?Really,though,howisthisanexampleoffear?And,besidesthe fact that these thoughts are rude, they are justunspoken thoughts, sowhat'stheharm?Any timewe're judgingsomeoneelse, it'sourego trying tomake itself

feel better by comparing and coming out on top. And that means we'reafraidwe'renotgoodenough,sowehavetotrouncesomebodyelse.

Ofcourse,weknowthisdoesn'twork.Notonlydoesitnotmakeyoufeelbettertojudgesomeone,itactuallymakesyoufeelworse.Itmakesyoufeelseparateandalone.SoyoubecomemoredisconnectedfromyouressenceasachildofGod,diminishingyourselfalittlemore.Youheapmorefearontothelightinsideyou.Yousmearalittlemoremudonthesidesofthelantern,andthelightseemsdimmeryet.Thisiswhatweallknow,right?ThisistheGoldenRule.Everyreligion

hasa formof it.Somepeoplemighthonor itbecause theybelieve itwillearntheirwayintoheaven.Butrighthereandnow,it'sgoodmentalhealth.Importantpsychotherapy.Think about it. Why do people go to therapists? Because they feel

depressed,theyfeelguilty,they'regrieving,they'reangry,theydon'tknowhowtofindpeaceinthemselvesandtheirrelationships.Mostaren'ttryingtoearntheirwayintoheaven.They'retryingtoexperiencecontentmentandpeaceofmindrightnow,everyday.

Whatwe'retalkingaboutisthekeytolivingwiththepeaceofGodwhileyou'rehere.Youcanliveinhell(fear)orheaven(love).Theprayerremindsusthat,everyminuteofeveryday,wecanmakeabetterchoice.

“Everyminuteofeveryday,wecanmakeabetterchoice.”

Here are a few things youmight experience as a result of the prayer'shealing.

BeinglessirritableBeingmorepatientLaughingmoreBeingmoreconsiderateFeelingyouhavemoretimeRelaxingmoreeasilyHavingmoreenergyFeelingmoreharmonyinyourhomeRespectingyourselfandothersmoreValuingyourselfmoreLettinggoofresentmentsandblameWorryinglessPuttinglesspressureonyourselfBeingmorepresentwithyourselfandothersNoticingserendipitouseventsmoreSeeingthemeaninginlifeeventsMakingdecisionsmoreeasilyWorryinglessaboutthefutureMakingthingseasyratherthanhardLettinggooftheneedtostruggleFeelingmorehopefulLettinggoofobligationsthatdon'tserveyouFeelinglessguiltorshameCaringlessaboutwhatothersthinkRecoveringfromabadmoodfasterFeelingfreertobeyourselfTrustingyourself,others,andtheworldmoreBeingcleareraboutwhatyouwantandwhatyoudon'twant

Sayingnowithoutguilt

four

HowDoesFearImpactYourLife?

Oneofmy clients, a successful forty-something business owner, toldmeshedoesn'tbelieve she's everbeenhappy.“Ihavehadhappydays, likeavacation or day spent with someone, but there's always this cloud ofdiscontent that covers everything. I would love to just relax and thinkeverything'sgoingtobeokay,butIjustneverhavebeenabletodothat.”Thisiswhytheprayerissoimportant.Fear keeps us confined to unhappiness. Years ago, I felt like I was

trapped in a plastic bag. I could see out, and others could see in, butsomething was confining me. It was fear—fear of being myself, fear ofexpressingmygifts,fearoflettingmylightshine.Sowhyisfearsopervasiveinourlives,andhowdoesittakesuchfirm

controlofus?

We'retaughttobeafraidfromthetimewe'reborn.It'struethattherearelotsofdangersinthisphysicalworld,andfearactsasourprotector.Itkeepsusfromsteppinginfrontofamovingvehicle,raisesaredflagwhenwe'rewithpeoplewhomightharmus,picksoutmatchingoutfits from our closet so we'll avoid ridicule, and gets us to the doctorwhenweneedmedicalattention.Butthere'sadifferencebetweenmakingsmartdecisionsandlivingyour

whole life feeding from the FearTree.Unlike love,which nourishes youandsupportsyourvitality,feardrainsyouofenergyanddiminishesthejoyofliving.

Fear-basedthoughtsperpetuateanillusion.

ACourseinMiraclessaysthat,inthisworld,there'slove,andthere'sfear.Of those two, only love is real, while fear is an illusion. This can be adifficult concept to grasp unless you look at it thisway: if you trace anyfear-basedthoughttoitsroots,you'llfindthesamecorefear:Idon'tmatter.ButsinceweareallchildrenofGod,thissimplycannotbetrue.Youcannotbe an extension ofGod and not have value; it's not possible. So all fear-based thoughts grow out of nothing, an illusion. This is why even thedeepest scars in our lives and societies can be healed quickly andcompletely ifwe'll focus on forgiveness rather than remaining fixated onfear.

Fear-basedthoughtscanbedeceiving.Our worry about others, for instance, might seem like a natural part ofbeingaparentorafriend.ButworryisadenialofGod,andthat'swhattheegoisallabout.Ifwetrulytrustedthateverythingishappeningaccordingtoaplanwecan'tunderstandanddon'tneedtocontrol,wewouldn'tworry.Wewouldhavepeaceofmind—notfromdenialorinapowerlessway,butwith spiritual strength, knowing that our job is to honorour own journeyandthosejourneysofothers.Sometimes,worryingaboutothers,justlikeworryingaboutourselves,is

theego'swayofsaying,“See?I'maniceperson.I'mresponsible.Icare”—when it's really just away of hiding the fact thatwe're scared.Worryingaboutothersmakesfearnotjustacceptable,itmakesitnoble.Buthere'sthetruth:caringaboutothersislove;worryingaboutthemisfear.

Weareaddictedtofear.Peoplewho are in a twelve-stepprogramadmit theyhave a problemandthat they'repowerlessover it,and they turn thatproblemover toahigherpower.Butthat'sjustforthosewhohavehitbottom,right?Well, guess what?We've all hit bottom.We're all addicted, and what

we're addicted to is fear. Just like the initial steps of the twelve-stepprogram, the prayer surrenders our problems to a higher powerwho canperformthehealingwe'renotabletodoforourselves.This is thecaseineverysituationthatcomesfromfear,but itmightbe

easiest to see in instances of self-sabotage. The twenty-year-old son of afriend, for instance, has spent severalweeks in jail over thepast year for

theft and drug use. He told his mom that he wants to do better, and hedoesn't understand why he keeps sabotaging himself when he knows hecouldmakeotherchoices.Theanswer?Fear.Iknowthatseemsstrange—howcouldanyonebeafraidoflivingwithin

the law? Doesn't it make more sense to be afraid of going to jail? Thisseemingparadoxillustratestheinsanityoftheego.Aslongasyoubelieveyou're not worthy of a better life, as long as you feel guilty and beatyourselfupoverpasttransgressions,youwillkeepmakingdecisionsfromfear.Andsometimesthosedecisionswilllandyouinjail.

“Theprayersurrendersourproblemstoahigherpowerwhocanperformthehealingwe'renotabletodofor

ourselves.”

Formy friend's son, every timehe tries tomakeapositivechange, theaddictiveegowillcalltohim.Beinginjailisjustareflectionofhowhe'simprisonedbyhisownthoughts.That'swhyhe,likeallofus,needsdivineintervention. No matter our transgressions—from hurting a loved one tocommittingmurder—wepileonlayersofguilt,reinforcingthefeararoundour inner light. As A Course in Miracles says, we don't need God'sforgiveness,becausewealreadyhave that.Butwedoneedourown,withthehelpoftheHolySpirit.

Fear-basedthoughtsexpressthemselvesinthebody.Weknowthatstressandworrycontributetophysicalailmentsandslowthebody'sabilitytoheal.ButuntilIstartedthepracticeofaskingformyfear-basedthoughts tobehealed,Ihadn'tbeenawarehowmuchmybodywasabsorbingandlivingwithfear.As I've since become more aware of my thoughts and physical

experience, I can now feel how often my stomach tightens when I'mnervousorhowmyshouldershunchwhenI'mstressed.I'mnowawareofhow oftenmy jaw is clenched and evenmy toes are curled.Now, a fewtimesaday,Ituneintomybodyandfeelhowmuchfearit'scarrying,andIrelaxandaskthatallmyfear-basedthoughtsbehealed.Iknowtheprayerisgoodforourmentalandemotionalhealth.Ihaveno

doubtit'sgoodforourphysicalhealthaswell.

Ahugepercentageoffear-basedthoughtsareinanticipationofthingsthatneverhappen.

Sayingtheprayerwillmakeyouacutelyawareofthis.Byaskingforyourfear-based thoughts to be healed, you can be assured that whatever youwere afraid of will go away. It may not happen immediately, but it willdiminish over time. This is a good reminder of the fact that the jobdescriptionforyourlifedoesnotincludetheword“worry.”Infact,worryinallitsmanyformsisjustanotherattemptbytheegotousurpcontrol.

“Thejobdescriptionforyourlifedoesnotincludetheword‘worry.’”

Ahugepercentageoffear-basedthoughtsareaboutminutiae,butweblowthemupintobigdrama.

Ithinkwedothispartlytoconvinceourselvesthatourliveshavemeaning.If Ihaveproblems, if I'moverlybusy, if Ihave todealwithall thisstuff,thenImusthavevalue.Imustmatter.That'swhat theegotells itself.Butthere's a line inACourse inMiracles that says our ego can't accept howlittleweneedtodo.That'sbecauseweneverhavetoprovethatwedeservetobehere.Wealsodon'thavetofightourfears,althoughthisconceptthreatensthe

ego inabigway.Afterall,everybody lovesahero—thecollegekidwhowasterrifiedofpublicspeakingandovercamethefeartodeliveramovingspeech. Or the small-town girl who confronts her fear and builds asuccessfulbusinessinthebigcity.Wealllovethat“Wedidit!”momentofjubilance,ofslayingthedragonswithinourselvesandintheworldaroundus.It'spartofthehumandrama.Yet,whileovercomingandfightingfearscan build character, those approaches alsomake the fear real, reinforcingtheideathatwe'rebrokenorinsufficientatourcore.Yearsago,IjoinedalargeRotaryInternationalclubthatwas95percent

maleandfilledwithsuccessfulandinfluentialbusinessleaders.EverytimeIwalkedintooneofthelunchmeetings,IfeltlikeIdidn'tbelong.Iwasn'twearing a suit, I didn't have political connections, and I didn't run amultimillion-dollarorganization.Finallyawisepersonsaidtome,“Ifyouwant them to accept you, start by accepting them first.”Ahh. I'd been sointernallyfocusedontryingtoovercomemyfearoffittinginthatI'dmissedthebiggerpicture:the“problem”Iwastryingtofixdidn'texist.

Whenweask forour fear-based thoughts tobehealed,we see that thedramas we worry about—and perpetuate—matter much less than werealize,andthattheessenceofwhowearemattersmore.Wedon'thavetoproveourexistencetoanyone.There'senormouspeaceofmindinthat.

Ourfearcreatestheverythingwe'reafraidof.I had an ah-hamoment years ago when I wasmakingmy bed one day,thinkingaboutsomethinggoodthathadhappenedinmylife.Immediatelyafterthatthought,Ifeltawaveoffear.

“Whenweaskforourfear-basedthoughtstobehealed,weseethatthedramasweworryaboutmattermuchless

thanwerealize.”

Whenwouldtheothershoedrop?Atthatmoment(I'mnotmakingthisup),myinnervoicesaidveryclearly,“Thereisnoothershoe.”Andatthesametime,Iheardaclunkinmybedroomcloset.WhenIlooked,Isawashoeonthefloor.Itapparentlyhaddefiedphysicsandthrownitselfoutoftheshoeorganizer,justtomakethepoint.Okay, I get it, I said to myself and whoever was listening. From that

pointon,myfearoftheothershoedroppingdisappeared.The fact is, theonly “shoe”out there is oneyou createwithyourown

expectations. If you think something negativewill befall you, you'll lookforit,anticipateit,magnetizeit,amplifyit,andputitsquarelyinyourlineofsight.It'snotalightningboltfromapunishingGod,andyou'renotthevictimofa randomuniverse; it'ssimplyabelief,apieceof fruit fromtheFearTreelandingwithathumponyourhead.Soconsiderthatmaybeyou'renotbeingpunished,thatthere'snocosmic

scoresheetbalancingyourwinswithlosses.Thefreedomtofullyenjoyalloflifeisavailabletoallofus.But,likeeverything,firstwehavetobefreeofthebeliefsthatstandinourway.

Fearkeepsyoustuck.Fearisthereasonthat,insteadofgoingoutandcreatingourdreams,wejustplayaroundtheedges—forweeks,months,evenyears.Theegoconstantlymakesexcusestopreventusfrommovingforward:It'snottherighttime.Idon'thavetheproperequipment.Idon'tknowenough.Idon'thavetheright

degree.Idon'thaveenoughmoney.It'sraining.Typically, these excuses are all code for something much deeper: I'm

afraid I'mnotgoodenough.Or, conversely: I'mafraidofmyownpower.Forinstance,IknowtwopeoplewhohaveshowninterestinInternetdatingin thepastcoupleofyears.One thoughtabout it,didherduediligence inresearchingtheservicethatwasrightforher,signedup,andmetsomeonewithinafewweekswhoturnedouttobeanexcellentmatch.Theotherhasbeen thinking, planning, reading, talking about it—preparing for it—formorethanayear.Thismaybeexactlywhatheneeds—timetofullyprocesshisintentions.Or,thiscouldbestalling,hisegosaying,“Let'sjustpretendwe'rereadyforarelationship.We'lldoeverythingleadinguptoitwithoutactually signing up so we can convince ourselves there's progress, eventhough we're scared about actually meeting someone, being happy, andgrowing.”

“Whenthefear-basedthoughtishealed,you'refreetotakestepstowardyourdesirewithoutbarriersgettingin

theway.”

Theclueisusuallywhensomeonesays,“Oh,I'vebeenbusy,soIhaven'tgotten to it yet.” I've used that excuse for years on an assortment ofprojects.Busy-nessisadecoy,anacceptedexcusefor,“I'mtooafraidtodoit.”Whenthefear-basedthoughtishealed,you'refreetoexperienceclarityofpurposeandtakestepstowardyourdesirewithoutbarriersgettingintheway.So,whateveritis—losingweight,gettingregularexercise,beinghonest

aboutwhatyouwant,movingintoaleadershiprole,writingabook,startingyour own business, speaking up, leaving a relationship or situation thatdoesn't serve you—if you keep saying, “I'm going to do it,” and keepplanningandpreparingbutneveractuallycompletingit,youprobablyhavefearintheway.

Fear-basedthoughtsareseductive.They're like thesirensofGreekmythology—beautiful islandwomenwhosang songs of enchantment and allure. The only problemwas that,whensailors steered toward thosemesmerizingvoices, theyshipwreckedon therockycoast.Similarly,fear-basedthoughtscalltouswithfalsepromisesofsafety:

“Havingadream is fine,but ifyou follow it,youmight fail. It'smuchsafer to keep working at this dead-end job. At least you have a steadypaycheck.”“Sure,someofthepeopleinthisneighborhoodneedhelp,butit'sbetter

nottogetinvolved.You'rejustinvitingtroubleifyoudo.”“I'dliketogetoutandmakesomefriends,butit'salotofworktogetto

knowpeople.Iprobablywouldn'tmeetanyoneIlikeanyway.”Every timewe start to sail toward joy and happiness, the ego calls us

back.That'swhyweneeddivineintervention.Thepulloftheegoisstrong,we'redeeplyentrenchedinfear-basedconditioning,andthatconditioningisreinforcedminutebyminute.Asaresult,ittakesextraordinarywillingness,vigilance, and commitment to free ourselves from it. That's why, thankGod,wehavetheHolySpirit.

Fearfromtheoutsidebreedsfearontheinside.Justforaday,payattentiontoallthefear-basedmessagesyouhear.Thosemessageswillastoundyou—everythingfrom“You'relikelytobeavictimof identify theft” to“Ifyoudon'thave$2millionsaved for retirementbythe time you're fifty, you'll spend the last few years of your life on thestreets.”You'll hear alarming statistics—about getting cancer, or how unlikely

youaretofindamateafterforty;theoddsofhavingachildwithaddictionissues, or of losing your job.And then there's the long list of symptoms(typicallyincludingdeath)thataresideeffectsofdrugsadvertisedonTV.Evenconversationsaroundthewatercooleroratfamilyget-togethersoftendrift toward impending economic doom or a relative's struggle withAlzheimer's.And,always,theunderlyingmessageis,“Thiscouldhappentoyou.”Thepoint is—onceyoustart tosensitizeyourmindtofearmessages in

your external world, you'll see how ingrained they are in what we read,hear, see, and discuss every day, creating a constant undercurrent ofinstability.

“Justforaday,payattentiontoallthefear-basedmessagesyouhear.”

Fearkeepsusfromexperiencinglifeasthewondrous

opportunityitis.It tunesustoachannelinwhicheverythinglooksfrightening.Thepast isfilledwithguilt,shame,andregret.Thefutureisunknown,andcouldbringus anything from late-in-life poverty to ecological disaster, or both. Andwhenwespendsomuchtimeponderingourfearsfromthepastandforthefuture,weloseaclearviewofthejoyavailableinthepresentmoment.Fearrobsusofthesweetnessandgentlenessoflifethat'spossiblewhen

wehavepeaceofmind.Whenwe'rehighon fear,wecouldbe inheavenitselfandnotrecognizeitforwhatitis.We'dmistakeangelsfortheflyingmonkeysfromTheWizardofOz,andwe'dworryaboutgettingasunburnand,ultimately,melanomafromallthatbrightlight.Icanjusthearyouregoas you stand at the pearly gates: “Wait,” itwould say, “I forgotmySPF30!”

“Whenwe'rehighonfear,wecouldbeinheavenitselfandnotrecognizeitforwhatitis.”

five

WhatMakesThisPrayerDifferent?

Here'showweusuallypray:

Inotherwords,we're asking for somethingor someone inourexternalenvironmenttochange.Incontrast,thinkaboutthisprayer:

With thisprayer,you'renot asking foranychange in theworldaroundyou.You're asking for yourself to be rearranged, knowing that theworldaroundyouwillberearrangedasaresult.Inotherwords,it'stheexactoppositeofhowweusuallypray.Maybeoneofyourprayersgoessomethinglikethis:“Pleasehelpusfind

themoney to payourmortgage thismonth.”Saying the prayermayhelpyoufeelliketheburdenofthatmonth'smortgagehasbeenlifted.Butyourego—thepartofyouthatfeedsonfear—willsimplyseekoutnewfinancialworriestokeepyouawakeatnight.Evenifwecanpayitthismonth,whatarewegoingtodonextmonth?WhatifIlosemyjobandourincomedriesup?What if I fallandbreakmyarm,and thenwe'vegotmedicalbills topay?Theprayergivesyoutemporaryrelief,butitdoesn'tchangeanythinginyou,soyouroldpatternsremainintact.In contrast, asking “Please heal my fear-based thoughts about our

mortgage”alsogivesyoua senseof relief.But insteadof lifting just thatburden,itrelievestheneedtorecreatethatfearandholdontoit.Thisprayerhealsyourverydesire forburdens,youraddiction to fear-based thoughts,freeingyouto livewithout thatfearandwithgreaterpeaceofmind.Asaresult,your financial situation is free to improve.That'swhatmakes it sodifferent.

When you ask to be in right alignmentwith love, everything is possible.Yourlifestartstoshiftaroundyou.Theworldofformchangesbecauseitisnowgovernedbyloveratherthanfear.Therattlesinyourdashboardbegintodisappearbecauseyouno longerbelieve thatyoudeserve them,or thathardshipisyourdestiny.Themudiswipedcleanfromthelantern,andthelightshinesthroughwithoutanythingobscuringitsbrightness.This means that everything rooted in love can be fully experienced:

harmony,abundance,joy,wellbeing,andpeaceofmind.Thisdoesawaywith theneed for struggle.Thestruggle isalwaysover

fixingtheproblemorbeinggoodenoughorprettyenoughorsmartenoughor clever enough or finding the right person or the right job. But this issimplyaskingthatourthoughtsaboutallthosethingsbehealed.Whenwedo that, theneed for theproblem is removed, alongwith thebarriers thatkeepusfromexperiencingabundanceandjoyinallitsforms.

“Withthisprayer,you'reaskingforyourselftoberearranged,knowingthattheworldaroundyouwillbe

rearrangedasaresult.”

“Problems”orthingsthatneedtobefixedonlyexistasopportunitiesforus to learn to be more loving, accepting, and compassionate. Even ourbodiesarejustvehiclesinthislife,andtheyprovideopportunitiesforustolearnthosethingsaswell.When we hold onto fear, we are paralyzed, burdened, slowed down,

beatenupandabusedbyit,evenwhenwedon't thinkwe'redirectingitatourselves or the world around us. And without even knowing it, weperpetuateit.Ouregomakessureofthat.So,again,don'taskforsomethingorsomeonetobefixedorhealed.Ask

foryourthoughtstobehealedsothatlovecantaketheplaceoffear.

“Thecauseofyourfearisinyourmind,notintheexternalworld.Sowhenyouhealthatcause,theeffectis

tochangetheexternalworld.”

Insteadofaskingforyourmarriagetobehealed,askforyourfear-basedthoughtsaboutthemarriageandyourspousetobe

healed.

Insteadofaskingforyourmoneysituationtobehealed,askforyourfear-basedthoughtsaboutmoneytobehealed.

Insteadofaskingforyourbodytobehealed,askforyourfear-basedthoughtsaboutyourbodytobehealed.

Insteadofaskingtogethomesafely,askforyourfear-basedthoughtsaboutthejourneytobehealed.

Insteadofaskingthatyougetan“A”onthetest,askforyourfear-basedthoughtsaboutstudyingandsuccesstobehealed.

Insteadofaskingforyourbabytobehealthy,askforyourfear-basedthoughtsaboutyourbaby'shealthtobehealed.

Doyouseehowthisworks?Oneisaskingfortheexternalworldtochangetomakeyouhappyandfeelsafe.Theotherisaskingthatyourthoughtsbehealed.Andasaresult,theexternalworldwillchange.The cause of your fear is in yourmind, not in the external world. So

whenyouhealthatcause,theeffectistochangetheexternalworld.The thing that's so exciting about this prayer is that itworks on every

level.I know this might sound Pollyannaish, naïve, simplistic, idealistic—or

justplainstrangetosomepeople.That'swhyIknowitworks.Oursocietybelieves in fear.Sowhenyoupresentan idea that resolves

fear—in fact dissolves it, and not of our own doing—it's going to soundimpossible.Wishfulthinking,somemightcallit.Here'swhatonewomanhadtosayafterusingtheprayer:

Thefirst timeIusedit,allofasudden, thefearwasgone.I thought,wow,thatwassimple.Itjustwentaway.As I kept doing it, I noticed it createda space . . . allowedme to

have better understanding of what the fear might be, and maybe acauseor two. In that space, Ididn't feel the fear.Everythingseemedclearforjustalittlebit.Afterdoingthisfortwoorthreeweeks,thenexttimeafearcameup,

itdidn'trunawaywithme—orIdidn'trunawaywithit—becauseI'dexperiencedthisreliefandthisspaceanditwasn'tonespecificfear,ithadageneralhealingeffect.

Ifthat'swishfulthinking,Ihavejustonethingtosay:Letthewishingbegin.

six

HowDoYouSaythePrayer?

Theprayerissimple,butthere'salottoit,solet'sbreakitdown.

Whoareyouprayingto?Thismay seem like a silly question.Don't prayers go toGod?Or Jesus,MotherMary, theCreator,Yahweh, Jehovah,Divine Intelligence,Source,oranotherhigherpower?Iwouldanswerthatquestionwitharesoundingyes.I'mnotonetosplit

hairswhenitcomestospirituality.Tome,yourbeliefs(orlackofthem)areapersonalandsacredmatter,andItrustthatyou'lladdressthisprayertotheentity or energy that's right for you. In fact, I even know agnostics andatheists who embrace the prayer (although they wouldn't call it that),because they acknowledge its psychological value in aworldwhere fear-basedthinkingisrampant.Having said that, I'll also tell you why, when I use the prayer, I

specifically ask the Holy Spirit to be on the receiving end.A Course inMiracles says theHoly Spirit is the communicator between us andGod.TheCourse,infact,describestheHolySpiritincountlessways.ItsaysHeteachesusthedifferencebetweenpainandjoy.“Hebringsthelightoftruthintothedarknessandlets itshineonyou.”AndtheCoursesaystheHolySpirit“seemstobeaVoice,forinthatformHespeaksGod'sWordtoyou.He seems tobeaGuide througha far country, foryouneed that formofhelp.”It also says that vengeance—or any other form of fear—cannot be

shared,becauseitcreatesdivisionandseparation.“GiveitthereforetotheHolySpirit,”theCoursesays,“whowillundoitinyoubecauseitdoesnot

belonginyourmind,whichispartofGod.”This iswhyIpray to theHolySpirit.At thesame time, Ihaveno fear

thatourprayersareheard,nomatterwhatnameweinvoke.Whenprayerscomefromlovinghearts,certainlytheheartoflovereceivesthem.

Isthespecificwordingimportant?Idon'toftensayyouhavetodosomethingacertainway,especiallywhenitcomes to spirituality, but I do think thewordsmake a difference, and I'dadviseyoutosayitthisway:

Here'swhy:After the CR-V day, I started using the prayer whenever fear-based

thoughts came up (which meant ALL the time). I found myself saying,“Pleasehelpmeletgoofmyfearsabout...”or,“Pleaseletmereleasemyfear-basedthoughtsabout...”Thesewordchoicesmay seemminor,but they'renot. If I'masking the

HolySpirittohelpmeletgoofmyfearsorreleasemyfear-basedthoughts,thenI'maskingformetobepartofthesolution.Andthefactis,Ican'tbe.Ican't solve theproblemwith thesamemind thatcreated it. It's simply thetwo-year-oldegotryingtoassertitselfagain.

Ourhumanexperienceisastoryinwhichthereareheroesandvillains,loveisunrequitedandpeopleholdbeliefslike“nopain,nogain.”Weseecountless versions of that story modeled over and over again until thedrama seems natural and unavoidable. So it's no surprise that fearsmoveintoourmindsandsettle in for the longhaul,putting their feetupon thecouch, helping themselves to anything in the refrigerator, and refusing topick up after themselves. As infuriating as they are, they've become sofamiliar thatwedon't evenknowwecould livewithout them.Andhere'sthething:theegodoesn'twantustofindthatout.There'sareasontheprayerisnot“Pleasehelpmeheal thesefear-based

thoughts.”Why?Becausemostofusarelousyatevictingfear.Weneedtohaveitdoneforus.Infact,ourjobistogetoutoftheway.Butthisisnotrelinquishmentofduty;thisisadmittingthatourthoughtsaretheproblem.If we try to fix our fear-based thoughts with more fear-based thoughts,they'lljustcirclearound,smackusinthefacealloveragainandthrowanemptypotatochipbagonthefloor.

Whythewords“fear-based?”Because those words cast a wide net, making us aware of the countlessthoughtsthatarerootedinfear.If the prayer was, “Please heal my fearful thoughts,” we might limit

ourselves to threatsweknowwe'reafraidof, likehealthscaresand thingsthatgobumpinthenight.But,aswe'vealreadyseen,eventhoughfear-basedthoughtsarerootedin

fear, we don't necessarily think of them as arising from fear. Anger, forinstance, is always the result of something inme that doesn't feelwhole.And, asACourse inMiracles says, it isnothingmore thananattempt tomakesomeoneelsefeelguiltysoIcanfeelbetter.Maybeyellingwillmakeme feel momentarily more powerful, vindicated, or righteous. But whenthatwearsoff—and itwill—I'llbe rightback to theoriginal fear: I'mnotenough.Byusingtheterm“fear-based,”you'llfindthatmorethoughtsfallintothisbucketthanyoueverimagined.

“Theterm‘fear-basedthoughts’acknowledgesthat,nomatterhowbigthefear,itisjustathought,andathought

canbechanged.”

Also, the term“fear-based thoughts”acknowledges that,nomatterhow

bigthefear,itisjustathought,andathoughtcanbechanged.Feardoesn'toriginate in theworldoutsideyou; it takes shapewithinyourmind—andthenshapestheworldasyouknowit.WithoutthehelpoftheHolySpirit,you'relikealamptryingtoturnitself

on.Ifthatlampisn'tpluggedintothepoweritneeds,noamountoftryingwillhelp.Itwillfidgetandwriggleandswearattheelectricalcord,gettingincreasingly frustrated until it's convinced that light is no longer apossibility.Butplugitintothewallwhereitcandrawonitspowersource,and thefrustration immediatelydisappears.Nowitcanbe inan illuminedstate.There isno inherentvalue inexperiencing fear inany form.Leaving it

behind is leavingnothingbehind.Donotget trapped in the idea thatyou“should”beexperiencingangerandfrustrationinyourlifetobefullyalive.Thatisatrickoftheego.AndsoistheideathatwecanfullyreleasefearwithouttheHolySpirit'shelp.

seven

PayingAttentiontoYourThoughts

InthedaysfollowingtheCR-Vday,Icommittedtomakingtheprayermyspiritualpractice.Iwouldaskforhealing,Idecided,everytimeIdetectedafear-basedthought.Iendedupsayingitalldaylong.I had thought I was pretty tuned intomy thoughts. But once I started

becomingawareoffear-basedthoughtsassoonastheycameup,Irealizedjust how pervasive they were. They took endless forms, and they neverstopped.Forexample—

Ijustsneezed.AmIcatchingacold?Idon'thavetimetocatchacold.Bob'slate.Isheokay?Istherainstartingtofreezeontheroads?Mycaroil light cameon.How longhas it been since I changed theoil?Whatifit'slowandI'vedamagedtheengine?Weneedtotakethebarncatstobespayedbeforeit'stoolate.WhydoIalwayshavetobetheonewhounloadsthedishwasher?

“Byaskingforyourfear-basedthoughtstobehealed,anewspaceiscreatedwithinyourmind.”

These are seemingly benign thoughts. No rage or huge problems. Justeveryday,run-of-the-millfrustration,dissatisfaction,blame,etc.Andthat'swhatwealllivewithallthetime,oftenwithoutevenbeingaware.Otherthoughtsspeaktoourdeeperfears,suchas—

WillIeverfindapartnerinlife?HowcanIfindsomeonetolovemewhenI'mnotlovable?Lifeisaconstantstruggle,andIdon'tseeanywayout.We'reonthebrinkfinancially.Whatifweloseeverything?Ican'tseemtomakeanyonehappy,andtheworldisgoingdownhill.What'sthepointoflifeanyway?

Whenwebecomeawareofourthoughts,wecanaskthattheybehealed.That's why paying attention to them is important. Only when you knowwhat you're thinking can you see what a negative impact fear-basedthoughtshaveonyourlife.Thenyoucanaskforhealinginstead.When I found thatmymindwasWAYmore toxic than I'd realized, I

approacheditthewayyouwouldagardenthat'sfilledwithweeds:pullingthemoutonebyoneandalsousingablanketapproach.Astheycameup,Isaidtheprayer.“Pleasehealthisfear-basedthought.”

Andthen,everyonceinawhile,I'dthrowina

IwasdefinitelyintouchwiththeHolySpirit...constantly.Itwaslikebeingonthephoneallday.AndeverytimeIthoughtIcouldhangupforawhile...oops,anotherfear-basedthoughtshowedup.As you can see, this requires paying close attention to your thoughts,

somethingthatmaycomeeasy—ornot.I'vefoundthat,whenwetrulytune

intoourthoughts,wemaydiscoveronelongstream-of-consciousnesshonorroll of fear, irritation, negativity and stagnancy, repeating the same ideasoverandover.Using this prayer is not about positive thinkingor going into denial or

pretending that “bad things” don't matter. Using this prayer is aboutgenuinely and humbly asking for your mind to be healed. This is aboutfreeingyourselffromtheegomindthatdesperatelywantstokeepyoustuckandafraid.Sohowdoyoupayattentiontoyourthoughtswhenyou'renotusedtoit?

Start by taking aminute to tune in.Begin listening to the chatter inyourmind. Listen for the thoughts that make your mind seem like a pinballmachine—theonesthatglanceoffthesidesandrollaround,bouncingoverandoveragain.

“Usingthisprayerisaboutgenuinelyandhumblyaskingforyourmindtobehealed.”

Severaltechniquescanhelpyoufocusonwhat'sinsideyourhead.Try journaling—simply sit with a paper and pen (or in front of the

computer)andrecordeverythingthatrollsthroughyourmindforfiveortenminutes.Goforawalkbyyourselfandtuneintoyourthoughts.Orturnofftheradiowhileyou'redrivingandpayattentiontowhatyou

thinkabout.Checkinatkeytimesoftheday,too:Whatareyourfirstthoughtsinthemorningandthelastonesatnight?Whatareyouthinkingasyouleavethehouseorarrivehome?Whatfloatsthroughyourmindwhenyou'realone?Whenyou'rewithanotherperson?There's no need to judge these thoughts or try to change them. Just be

awareofthemasthoughyouwerewatchingaparadegoby.“Huh,lookatthat—anotherfear-basedthoughtaboutmoney.”Andifyou'renotsurewhetherathoughtisfear-basedornot,dothiseasy

test.Askyourself:Doesthisthoughtmakemefeellightandfree,ordoesitmakemefeelheavyandtired?Withthistest,mostfear-basedthoughtswillrevealthemselvesforwhattheyare.Youcanalsopayattentiontoyourbody.Maybeyou'renotawareofthe

thought,butyouareawareof thegnawingfearyoufeel inyourstomach.

That'saprettysuresign.Truthfully,mostofusdon'tgothroughourdaysworryingaboutnuclear

disaster.Instead,ourheadsarefilledwiththoughtsaboutpayingthegasbillandwhetherwe'regoingtodisappointsomeonewecareabout.Theconstantirritationfromthosemoremundanefearsislikethesharp-

edgedtaginthebackofasweater,scratchingthebaseofyourneckallday.Youdon'tevenrealizehowannoyedyouareuntilyougethome,ripoffthesweater,andthrowit inthelaundry,wonderingwhyyou'vebeeninabadmoodforthepasttwelvehours.But when we're in this state of unconscious upset and a bigger issue

comesalong,wedon'thave theemotional reserves todealwith it.Orweoverreact to any little aggravation. As you get better at tuning into yourthoughts,you'llbecomemoreawareofthewaysfearimpactsyourpsyche,and howyoumake decisions based on fearwithout even knowing you'redoingit.For example, a young couple recently bought a new house. Thrilled

about being first-time homeowners, they brought in the last load ofbelongingstothehouse,thenwentoutwiththeirone-year-oldtocelebrate.Whentheyreturnedlaterthatevening,theyfoundthattheirhousehadbeenburglarized.They'dlostseveralirreplaceableitems,includingtwoone-of-a-kindfolkbanjos.Evensomeoftheirbaby'sclothesweregone.They started asking themselves and God why this had happened. Had

they done somethingwrong?Did they bring this upon themselves?Weretheybeingpunishedbecausetheyweresoexcitedaboutthehouse?Inotherwords,atthesametimetheywantedtolashoutatthethieves,theylashedoutatthemselvesfromguiltandblame.Thisisacommonfear-basedresponse,handingtheegoevidencethatthe

worldisascary,dangerousplace—aplacewhereyoucan't trustanybody.Butthemoreinsidiousmessageisthis:“See?Youwereexcitedandhappyaboutthatnewhome,andlookwhathappened!”Withthat,apieceofyoudecidesthatjoyinvitespunishment.That'sthefearfulegotalking.

“Askyourself:Doesthisthoughtmakemefeellightandfree,ordoesitmakemefeelheavyandtired?”

Whenyoulistentothatfearfulego,youbecomesuspiciousofeveryoneandneverallowyourselftobefullyhappy.Atthatpoint,theultimateironyoccurs:Youthinkyou'vemadeyourselfsafefromharm,butyou'veactually

imprisonedyourself.By asking for your fear-based thoughts to be healed, you start with a

cleanslate.Anewspaceiscreatedwithinyourmind.Andinthatmoment,you change your entire future, because you're no longer defined by thelingeringfearofthepast.

eight

WhatCanYouExpectWhenYouStart?

Yourexperiencewith theprayerwillbeasuniqueasyouare.Whenyoustart saying it, you may see some instant changes in your own fears orexternalcircumstances,oryoumayseenoneatall.Thereisnoschedule,noblueprint, no one way to do this. Just start noticing your thoughts andsayingtheprayer,andseewhathappens.Withthatsaid,hereareafewthingsthatmighthappenforyou.Again,let

go of any expectations and become awitness.And commit to saying theprayerregularlyforatleasttwoweeksbeforeyouevaluateyourexperiencewithit.

Youmaybeexcitedaboutthisatfirstandthenexperienceaquickcrashofenthusiasm.

ThishappensbecausetheprayerspeakstoyourhigherSelf,whichseesthevalueofitandknowsthatitwillmakeadifferenceovertime.Butthentheloudtwo-year-oldego,whosevoiceeasilydrownsoutthequiethigherSelf,gets in your face and says, “Not so fast!” Your ego will resist in everypossibleway.Itwilltrytomakeyouforgettheprayer,anditwillridiculeitandtellyouit'snotworking.Itwilltrytomakeyoufallasleeporgetsickwith a bad case of the flu. Itwillmanufacture crises ormajor turmoil. Itwillcreateanoverwhelmingsenseofangstorfailurejustwhenyouthoughtthingswerelookingupinyourlife.Itwilluseeverytoolinits toolboxtomakeyouthinkthisisastupid,worthlesswasteoftimebecauseofallthethingsit'sscaredof.Youregoisafraidthatyourrelationshipswillchange—thatyou'llfindtheloveofyourlife,you'llendanunhealthyrelationship,oryou'll experiencemorepeacewith thepeople aroundyou.Your ego is

afraid you'll pay off your bills and build your savings account. It's afraidyou'll fulfillyour lifepurpose. It'safraid thatyouwon't listen to it, that itwon't be in charge. Most of all, it's afraid that you'll grow and be trulyhappy.So,what shouldyoudo ifyou findyourself resisting theprayer?Do it

anyway.Writeouttheprayerandtapeittoyourdashboard.Writeitonyourbathroommirror.Placeitnexttoyourbedsoyou'llseeitfirstthinginthemorningandlastthingatnight.Or,asonewomandid,writeitondozensofslipsofpaperandpostthemalloverthehouse.Nomatterwhatbouldersyour ego throws inyourpath, it's essential to

continuesayingtheprayer, tokeepaskingforyourfear-basedthoughts tobehealed.Remember:Usingtheprayerisapractice,notamagicbullet.

Youmayfindnewreasonstousetheprayereveryday.Asyougo throughyourday,wheneveryou're about to embarkonanewactivity, take a moment to stop and say, “Please heal my fear-basedthoughts.”Youmightbeheaded towardameeting,planningan importantconversation with a family member, or simply getting in the car to runerrands.Whateveritis,takeabreathandaskforyourfear-basedthoughtstobehealed.Whenyoudothisregularly,you'llfindthatfeelingsofstress,worry, or anxiety will diminish, and you'll experience your days withgreaterpeaceofmind.

Youmaybesurprisedatthefearmessagescomingfromoutsideyou.

You'llstarttotuneinandheartheworld'schatterdifferently,includingtheevening news, headlines on the Internet, and the gossip coming from thenext cubicle. You may be surprised at the diet of drama you've beeningesting without even knowing it, and you may decide to limit yourexposuretofear-basedthinkingandteaching.

“Mindchatterislargelymadeupoffear.Keepusingtheprayer,andthetidalwaveoffear-basedthoughtswill

graduallysubside.”

Youmaybesurprisedatthefearmessagescomingfrominsideyou.

You'll see thatmindchatter is largelymadeupof fear.Youmaybecomeawareofhowaddictedyou'vebeentoit,andhowtoxicthethoughtsare.Atfirst,whenthefear-basedthoughtsseemrelentless,youmayfeellikeyou'retryingtosweeptheoceanawaywithabroom.Keepusingtheprayer,andthetidalwaveoffear-basedthoughtswillgraduallysubside.

Youmayseelightwhereyouthoughttherewasdarkness.Over the years of working with people in personal growth classes, I'veheardmanyasksomeformofthisquestion:“WhatifIlookinsidemyheartand it's filled with snakes and darkness?” And my response is this:“Invariably, ifyou look insideyourheart,youwill finddovesand light.”Wefeartheprocessofself-discoverybecauseouregoshaveusconvincedthatweare our fear-based thoughts.Butwhen those thoughts arehealed,our essence as children of God is revealed. When you start to use theprayer, you'll put the key in the lockof a door that scares you.But keepyour eyes open; you'll be amazed at the beauty on the other side of thatdoor.

Youregomaysetupahierarchyoffear-basedthoughts.Itmaystarttotellyou,forinstance,thatfearaboutanillchildisimportant,but fearabout forgettingsomeone'snameataparty isnot. In theexternalworld, there is a difference. But internally, they both interfere with yourpeaceofmind.Similarly,theegowillturnmiseryintoacompetition,asin:“Noonehas

suffered as much as I have. No one can possibly know the pain I'veendured.” The truth, of course, is that everyone experiences loss, illness,financial setbacks, issueswith lovedones,naturaldisasters, andahostofotherchallenges.Holdingontostruggleasabadgeofhonorisanotheregodevicetomakeyoufeelseparate,significant,andstuck.Ifyoustartdismissingfearsbecausethey'renotbigenough—orbecause

they'rebiggerthananyoneelse's—remindyourselfthatthosearejudgmentsoftheego.ThepeaceofGodisyourgoal,soanythingthatstandsbetweenyouandthatpeaceisripeforhealing.

Youmayfeeldisoriented.Remember, the ego is like a scared little kid. Using this prayer is likestarting the daily lessons in the “Workbook forStudents” that's part ofA

CourseinMiracles.Thelessonsaredesignedtoloosenyourattachmentstoeverythingyouthinkhasmeaninginyourlifeandemptyoutyouroldbeliefsystemsothatlovecantaketheplaceoffear.Years ago, I interviewed students at a seminary for a writing project.

Theydescribedasimilarprocess,oneinwhichtheiroldbeliefswerewipedclean so they could build a belief system that was authentic to them. Inoticed an interesting pattern among them. The first-year students wereoptimistic.Thethird-yearstudentswerewise.Butthesecond-yearstudentslooked like their dog had just been shot. In that limbo state between oldbeliefsandnew,theyfeltlostandadrift.

“Theonlywaytohealoldwoundsistoacknowledgethem,nottolockthemup.”

You may not experience anything quite so dramatic. But because theprayerisacompletethreattotheego,don'tbesurprisedifthatpartofyoustarts throwing louder tantrums. This will affect you on many levels:spiritual,mental,emotional,andphysical.Youmayfeeltired,dehydrated,and dizzy.But, as uncomfortable as itmay be, this is a good sign. Takegoodcareofyourself,andkeepsayingtheprayer.

Yourheartmayopen.This processmay release emotions and past hurts that you don't want tofeel,whichiswhytheegokeepsyourheartclosed.Itthinksit'sprotectingyouthisway.Buttheonlywaytohealoldwoundsistoacknowledgethem,not to lock them up. In fact, as long as your ego keeps your emotionsimprisoned,you'llbeheldhostage.Letyourselfadmitthehurtssotheycanbehealed,andyou'llfindpeaceofmindontheotherside.

Youregomaycreatenewformsofthesameproblem.For example: Marilyn has been married more than twenty years and isfrustrated with her husband. She feels he's critical about her weight, herintelligence, thewayshecooks—prettymucheverythingabouther.Whenwetalkedabouttherootcauseoftheproblem,andhowimportantitisforher tovalueherselfmore,Icouldseeaparticular lookinhereyes.Itwasthe look of the ego saying,“Uh-oh.Who else can I blame this problemon?”Immediatelyshestartedtalkingaboutasisterwhodoesn'tlistentoher

andmakesherfeelinvisible.Sameproblem,differentform.Asyoustarttousetheprayer,youregowillbemoreinsistentthanever

about lookingoutsideyourself for the sourceof theproblem, someone toblame—justasIdidonCR-VdaywhenIwantedtopintherattlesonthebodyshopmanagerorBob.

“Themajorityoffear-basedthoughtscanbetracedbacktoguilt,shame,andself-judgment...

...allofwhichcloseusofffromthemostuniqueandvibrantpartsofourselves.”

Youmayfeelthatanewspaceopensupinsideyou.Many people tell me that when they first say the prayer, their internallandscapeimmediatelychanges.Onewoman—someonewholistenstoGodalot—toldmethat,asshesaidtheprayerforthefirsttime,sheheardSpiritsayingtoher,“FINALLY.Nowwecanreallygetsomethingsdone!”Anotherwoman,wholivesinMexico,wassoinspiredandfreedbythe

prayer that she sat down and started writing a memoir that had beengestatingforyears.“Ihavealwaysbeenafraidofrejection,humiliation,andridicule,”shesays.“Ilivedwiththemallmylife.Sohereismychallengetostepoutandtakethechance.Iactuallyfeelatpeacewithit.”And a woman inMontana said this of the prayer: “It has calmed me

when I've felt agitation and has givenme rest when I've been awakenedfromsleep.Ihaveitpostedinmyworkspaceandinmyhomeanddelightinsharingitwithotherswhoexpressneedforsuchrelief.”

Youmayexperienceanewlevelofself-acceptance.Themajorityoffear-basedthoughtscanbetracedbacktoguilt,shame,andself-judgment,allofwhichcloseusoff fromthemostuniqueandvibrantpartsofourselves.Ittakescouragetobeallofwhoyouareinaworldthatrunsonconformity,whichiswhytheprayercanbethetooltosetyoufree.Youmayfeeldrawn toacareerpath thatnooneexpects.Ora talent thatyou've kept hidden. Or a way of expressing yourself through clothes ormusicthatyou'veneverrevealed.Orasecretaboutabusethatyou'venevershared. Or a sexual orientation that you're afraid will cut you off fromfamily or friends. Ask yourself:What part of myself have I kept in the

closet?Thenaskforyourfear-basedthoughtsaboutittobehealed.Atfirst,youmayexperiencebriefmomentsofrecovery,asthoughyouroxygenhasbeen restored.Keep using the prayer until thosemoments turn into long,deepbreathsofself-awarenessandlove.

nine

WhatHappensOverTime?

Askingforyourfear-based thoughts tobehealedhasacumulativeeffect.Notonlywill youexperiencemorepeaceofmind,butyour tolerance forfear-based thoughtsmaydiminish aswell.When those thoughts do comeup,itwillbecomeeasiertorecognizethem,askforthemtobehealed,andchange your focus to loving thoughts, so you can experience more joy,abundance,andwellbeing.Whatelsecanyouexpectafteryou'veusedtheprayerforawhile?

Peaceofmindwillbecomeyouronlygoal.Thisflies in thefaceofeverythingfear teachesusorwantsus tobelieve.Ouregoswantustothinkthattobehappyweneedthathouse,thatcar,thatiPad, thatwhatever, and sowe strive andwork and train and finagle andcajole our way to buy the things we think we need. And where love isconcerned,thingscanbeequallydistorted.Havinggrownuphearingstoriesof romantic tragedy, we may think love is real only if it's tenuous orcomplicated.In fact, we are bombarded by messages that tell us our goal is to be

promoted...ortobeseenassuccessful...ortocompetewell...ortowin.. .ortohavemorestuffinourgaragethanthefolksdownthestreetdo.Wearenotbombardedbymessagesthatsay,“Whatifyoujustwentforpeaceofmind?”When that thought first enters your consciousness as a real possibility,

your ego is likely to say, “How boring is that?” But when you start toseriouslyentertain theprospectofapeacefulmind,youfind that in it liesyour strength and true happiness. You move to an internal state of

wellbeing that is no longer determined by what you have or whom youknow, and you start to feel impervious to fear—not because you've builtbarrierstodanger,butbecauseyou'vedismantledthebarrierstolove.Ironically, in this place, everythingyou'vebeen seeking in the external

world may show up. The love of your life, the perfect job, physicalwellbeing,financialstability,clarityaboutyourlifedirection—allofthemnoware free to flow intoyour lifebecause, inasking foryour fear-basedthoughts to be healed, you no longer need the lesson, and the rattlesdisappear.

You'llseemorebeautyintheworld.Imagine that you're in a Japanese garden filled with bonsai trees, exoticfoliage,andgracefulfootbridgescrossinggentlestreams.Nowimaginethatsomeonehaswalked theirdog in thegardenandleftapileofcrapon thegrass.Your egowants you to focus on that pile. Itwillmake you angryabout it. “Who would defile this place?” your ego will ask. “Somebodycouldstepinit.Thereshouldbelawsaboutthesethings!”Meanwhile, at the same time that you're getting more upset and

channeling anger from the Fear Tree, dozens of people are wanderingthroughtheJapanesegarden,focusingtheirattentiononhowexquisiteitis.This isourchoice in life.Theegowantsus tostayglued to thepileof

crap, oblivious to the beauty in theworld around us. In fact, when yourattention isdivertedbya flowering treeora shaftof lightonabloomingshrub, your egowill pull you right backwith another reason to be upsetaboutthepileinfrontofyou.Butwhen you ask for your fear-based thoughts to be healed, the ego's

spell is broken, and you become free to wander through the garden. Acaretakermightcomeandcleanupthepile—oryoumightevendisposeofityourself.Ineithercase,thepilewillhavenopoweroveryou.Whywouldit?You'llbebusyenjoyingthebeautythat'sbeenthereallalong.

You'llopenuptothedivine.Oneman who was experiencing financial issues started using the prayerandfoundthathewasbetterableto“listenforwhatmybestactionsneedtobe.” Using the prayer consistently quiets the mind so you not only canlisten,butyoucanhearanddiscernactionsthatcomefromloveratherthanfrom fear—in otherwords, actions thatwill help you expand and extend

loveintheworld.

You'llexperiencegreatersimplicityandserendipity.Life situations will work out without effort on your part, reminding youthat,becausefearisnotstandinginyourway,youarefreetoexperiencetheuniverse's natural flow of abundance and ease. Youmay have had thesekindsofexperiencesinthepast.You'llthinkyou'relateforanappointment—untilyoufind that thepersonyou'remeetinggothungup in trafficandarrived at exactly the same timeyoudid.Oryou'll needmoney to take aclassthat'soutsideyourbudget,anditwillshowupinthemostunexpectedway.Onewomanfoundtwo$100billsinabookshe'dboughtfromahalf-pricebookstore.She'dhadthebookonhershelfforayearandwaspartoftheway through reading it before themoney fell out in front of her. Shespent the unexpected cashon awriting class she'dwanted to take,whichhassinceledtoaprofoundchangeinherlifedirection.Theseinstancesofserendipitywillmultiplyasyousaytheprayer,affirmingthateverythingispossiblewithlove.

“Usingtheprayerconsistentlyquietsthemindsoyoucanhearanddiscernactionsthatcomefromloveratherthan

fromfear.”

Youmayexperienceotherpathwaystohealing.Because the prayer shifts you to a place of greater peace and harmony,practicing itmakesotherhealingpossible. It's a lot likewhenyouhaveamigraine and can't think clearly. When the migraine goes away, youexperiencegreatclarity.Decisionsareeasier.Youcanseethingsforwhattheyare.Calmingthepain,quietingitdown,andfeelingitgoawayallowsyouto

relax into your life andmake decisions from a very different place thanwhenthepainisinflamed,fillingyourmindwithhurt.

You'llsetyourselffreebyrelinquishingcontrol.We spend an enormous amount of energy trying to control ourrelationships, our jobs, our health, our finances, our To Do lists—essentially, theworld around us. Not only is this exhausting, it keeps ustrapped in chronic fear that ifwe let up, thingswill fall apart.Andwhat

happens if everything does crumble around us?We feel guilty.We thinkwe'vefailed.Thespincycleoffeargoesintohyperdrive.This is why pivotal moments of “letting go” often come at a time of

crisis.Wemayfacealife-threateningillness,divorce,bankruptcy,orotherlife-changing circumstance.Ormaybewe just get to the pointwherewerealizewe'renotlargeandincharge,andwe'rewearyfrompretendingweare.Atthesemoments,wemayfinallyturntoGodandaskforhelp.There'sawonderfulpassageinACourseinMiraclesaboutthereasonwe

fight so hard for the illusion of control—andwhatwe discoverwhenwefinallysurrender.Itsays,“...youbelievethatwithouttheego,allwouldbechaos.YetIassureyouthatwithouttheego,allwouldbelove.”Ask for your fear-based thoughts to be healed, and you allow divine

energytodirectyourlife.It'smuchmorepeaceful,andit'salsoaconstantdelighttoseehowperfectlythingscanbeorchestratedwhenwegetoutoftheway.

YoumayunderstandyourselfandyourrelationshiptoGodonadeeperlevel.

My nephew, a highly spiritual young man, was doing research on plantgenetics in his first job out of college. He started using the prayer andtypicallyfeltimmediaterelief.Then,oneday,hehadanexperienceatworkthattooktheprayertoadifferentlevel.Mynephewlefttheroomforacoupleminutesandcamebacktofindhis

associate presenting the idea to their boss and taking full credit for it.Feeling he'd been left in the dust,my nephew felt the anger start to risewithinhim.“Itwaspalpable,”hesaid.“I'dbeenrobbedofsomeacclaim,andmyegowaswinning.”Whenhehadafewminutestohimself,hesatdown,closedhiseyes,and

askedforhisfear-basedthoughtstobehealed.Insteadofgettingimmediatereliefthistime,hefeltlikeheenteredintoadialoguewiththeHolySpirit.Hewas prompted to look atwhere the anger came from and how itwasrootedinfear.When he did that, he traced the anger back to its beginnings. “I had

thought that impressingmybosswas important,”hesaid,“as if Iweren'talreadyperfectandcompleteasIam.”Bingo. By spending time with the prayer and that inner dialogue, he

rememberedwhoheisasachildofGod.Notonlydidheexperiencepeace,henowunderstoodhimselfandhisrelationshiptoGodinanewway.

This isanexcellentexampleof themessageI receivedonCR-Vday—thatwhenourfear-basedthinkingishealed,thetriggersforthefeararenolongerneeded.Inthiscase,theprayerhelpedmynephewcomefacetofacewith his own value. By recognizing himself as whole and complete, hemoves forwardwith greater confidence as a child ofGod,making it lesslikelyhe'llexperiencesimilarsituationsinthefuture.

You'llbebetterabletofulfillyourpurpose.I'veseenpeoplestrugglewiththequestionof“What'smypurpose?”almostmorethananyother.Withoutamissionpropellingyouforward,it'seasytogetwearyandapatheticaboutlife.Buthowdoyoufindthatpurpose—andfulfill—it if it's hidden under layers of fear? Those layers may includefeelingsofWhatwill others think?Will this beacceptable?Whoam I towant this? Do I deserve it? It's too late for me. I've beenbored/overworked/takingcareofothersforsolongthatIdon'tknowwhatIwantanymore.Becausefindingandfulfillingyourpurposemeansbeingtruetoyourself

andchoosing thepath that's right foryou, it's anenormous threat toyourego. No wonder so many people struggle with this aspect of their lives.Whenyouexperienceyourselfandyourlifethroughthelensoffear,you'llseeroadblockseverywhere.Butwhenyouaskforthosefear-basedthoughtsto be healed, you'll see answers start to emerge, and the universe willdeliversupportfromthemostunexpectedplaces.

You'lltakeamoredirectpathtojoy.One woman recently wrote to me saying she's done years of spiritualpracticeandself-growth.She'sbeentotherapists,healers,andclasses,andshe'sreadcountlessself-helpbooks.Eachofthemgavehertools,shesaid,“butnoneofthemtaughtmehowtobehappy.”That'sbecausethey'remissingthesimplestandmosteffectivetoolofall

—asking theHolySpirit toheal therootcauseof theirunhappiness: fear-basedthinking.IcansaythatwithconfidencebecauseImisseditforyears.Evenwithspiritualpractice—somethingthatbyitsverynatureshouldrelyon divine intervention—it's easy to overlook that one key ingredient. Infact,whentheprayerfirstshowedupinmylife,Ihada“duh”moment—IrecognizedthatthehelpIneededhadbeenrightthereallalong.Ijusthadn'tseenitorrememberedthataskingforitcouldbesoeasy.

Let'ssay,for instance, thatyoureadabookabout thelawofattraction.You're excited about manifesting your dreams—and then your ego takesover.Well,sure,thatmayworkforeveryoneelse,butnotforme.That'stheego'swayofsaying,“I'mdifferentandalone,I'mnotgoodenough,andI'mnotworthy.”Untilthosethoughtsarehealed,it'sgoingtobeverydifficulttocreate the lifeyouwant,becauseyour fearswillbe there,blocking thedoor.So,ifyou'reusingaffirmations,positiveself-talk,meditation,journaling,

orothertoolsforself-knowledge,keepgoing.Butif,atthesametime,youalsoaskforyourfear-basedthoughtstobehealed,you'lltakeasignificantshortcutonyourinnerjourney.

You'llbebetterabletoliveinthenow.Most of our fears are tied to the past or future. That's why living in thepresentmomentissodesirable—andseemssodifficulttodoforasustainedperiod.Ifyoutrytofullyexperiencethenow,you'llprobablyfindyoucanmaintain your focus for a short time, until your attention gets diverted—most likely by fear.You'll startworrying aboutwhether you fed the catsbeforeyouleftthehouse,orwhereyoustashedthedry-cleaningticket,orifyou've forgotten someone's birthday. As you use the prayer consistently,though,youmayfindthatyouspendmoretimeinthepresentbecauseyourmindisn'tclutteredwithsomanyfear-baseddistractions.

You'lltradeperfectionismforperfection.Perfectionism comes from the ego. Perfection comes from God.Perfectionism is the fear that you're not good enough and have to proveyour worth by not making a mistake. Perfection is the truth that you'recompleteandwholeasyouare.Byusingtheprayerconsistently,youbecomeawarethat,astheCourse

says, “Nothingyoudoor thinkorwishormake is necessary to establishyourworth.”

You'llfeelgrateful.AsyoufeelthepeaceofGodwithin,you'llbefilledwiththankfulness.Andbecause you'll be saying “please” a lot, you will naturally want to say“thank you.” It's impossible to be grateful and have fear-based thoughtssimultaneously.Theveryactofsaying“thankyou”willsupportthehealing

oftheprayerinasignificantway.Justimaginewhatthisdoestotransformthe focus of your thoughts and, therefore, your entire being. You startsaying the prayer over and over, and each time you say it, you follow itwithanautomaticexpressionofthanks.Thisis likethrowingcrystalsinatoxic stream. Before long, the water can't help but become more pure,reflectingthelightwithgreaterclarity.

“Perfectionismcomesfromtheego.PerfectioncomesfromGod.”

You'llbesatisfied.A lot of fear comes from that indefinable word “enough.” Am I thinenough? Do we have enough money? Is our car new enough? Are wesuccessful enough?To the fear-based ego, nothing is ever enough,whichbreeds endless dissatisfaction. Ask for your fear-based thoughts to behealed,andyou'll remember thatyouareenough.That'swhereyou'll findpeaceofmind.

“Youareenough.”

You'llfocuslessonwherethefearcamefromandmoreonhealingit.

Trying to figure out why we feel dissatisfied, can't find love, don't feelenthusedaboutlife,worryexcessively,orexperienceanyotherissuesmaybeinstructive,butitmayalsobetheego'swayofkeepingussofocusedonthefearthatwenevergetpastit.Searchingforthecausecanbecomepartofthestruggle,anothersettinginthespincycleoffear.Rememberthatyoudon'tneedtoknowwhatpromptedthefear-basedthoughts;allyouneedisawillingnessforthemtobehealed.

You'llexperiencemoreloveinyourlife.Whenyouaskforfear-basedthoughtstobehealed,youremovethebarriersthatstandinthewayoflove.ThishappenedformeyearsagowhenI'dbeendivorcedforfifteenyears

and was tired of flunking Relationships 101 over and over again. I keptattracting the sameman in a slightly different package—sometimes bald,sometimes funny, sometimes successful—but always, ultimately,

unavailable.

“Whenyouusetheprayerconsistently,youcangiveandreceivelovewithoutfeargettingintheway.”

Finally one day, in conversationwithGod, I acknowledged that Iwascluelessanddidn'tknowhowtofindtherightmanforme.WhatIthoughtIwanted in a partner andwhat I actuallyneeded in a partnerwere clearlydifferent,andIdidn'thavethebenefitofthebiggerpicturetoseewhothatpersonmight be. Even though I didn't have the words for it then, I wasaskingformyfear-basedthoughtsaboutmyselfandmyrightrelationshiptobehealed.I clearly remember themoment I finally relinquished that control to a

higherpower.Iexperiencedthesenseofreliefandimmediatecomfortyoufeelwhen someone steps in and says, “Thanks for asking.Letme take itfromhere.”Sureenough,fiveweekslater,afteryearsoffear-baseddating,ImetBob.AndasCR-Vdaydemonstrated,we'renotonlyexcellentpartners,we'rebothteachersandstudentsforoneanotheronaspirituallevel.Itseemsverysimplenow.BeforeIaskedforhelp,Ioperatedfromfear.

SowhatdidIfind?Relationshipsbasedonfear.Afteraskingforhelp,thebarrierstolovedisintegrated.SowhatdidIfind?Love.When you use the prayer consistently, you can give and receive love

withoutfeargettingintheway.

Youmaybecomemorehonestandvulnerable.ACourse inMiracles says that your vulnerability is your strength.That'sbecause, in your vulnerability, you can be who you truly are withoutjudgingyourselforfearingthejudgmentofothers.Ourfearofjudgmenttakesdifferentforms.Wemaybecomepleasers—

setting impossibly high expectations for ourselves, sayingwhat we thinkothers want to hear, and deep-sixing our own desires in order to makeeveryone else happy. Or we may go the other direction, arrogantlypromoting ourselves as better than others and painting an exaggeratedpicture ofwhowe are.ACourse inMiracles calls these two expressions“littleness”and“grandiosity.”Despitethefactthattheylookdifferent,botharebranchesofthesameFearTree.Whenyou ask for your fear-based thoughts tobehealed, youpave the

wayfor“grandeur,”anexpressionofwhoyouareasachildofGod.With

noneedtoproveyourworth,justifyyourexistence,orhideyourgifts,youstandingraceandpeace,knowingit'ssafetosimplybeyourself.

“Themoreyouacknowledgepositivechanges,themorepositivechangeswilloccur.”

You'llseeglimpsesofchangeinyourworld.Some changes may be subtle, some may be much larger and morepronounced.Youmay see them inyourself, thepeople aroundyou, or inyour life circumstances. Pay attentionwhen the rattles in your dashboarddisappear, even though your egowill downplay suchmoments. Look forthemiracle.Itmaynothappeninstantaneously,butthatdoesn'tmeanthingsaren'tshifting.In fact, the more you acknowledge positive changes—no matter how

slight—without doubting them, the more positive changes will occur.Consider keeping a journal of changes to help track shifts you mightotherwiseoverlook.Thiswillalsohelpyoucounteract theego'surging toabandontheprayer.

You'llbecomemoreforgiving.Youmaybelieve therearesomethings thatcan'tbeforgiven.But lackofforgiveness perpetuates separation. It keeps you mired in anger, wherepeace of mind cannot exist. And it cuts you off from receiving theforgiveness of others. Because of this, your lack of forgiveness doesn'tpunishtheotherperson—itsimplyimprisonsyou.Refusing to forgivemeans digging in your heels and trading joy for a

senseofrighteousness.Thisissoprevalentinourworldthatwhenweseean example of forgiveness we're stunned by it. Consider the Amishcommunity in Pennsylvania that forgave the man who shot ten of theirschoolgirls,thenbuilttheNewHopeSchoolasasignofreconciliation.OrRonald Cotton, amanwho, wrongly imprisoned for rape and later freedafter aDNA test, harbored no anger toward his accuser and, in fact, co-wrote a book with her about judicial reform. We often consider suchinstances of forgiveness anomalies, as though they are the acts ofsuperheroes.But what if forgiveness were the norm rather than the exception?

Immediately your ego will say, “Then everybody would feel free to do

anything theywanted.” But people attack because they're afraid.Amoreforgivingworldwouldbeaworldof less fear and,ultimately, aworldoflessattack.Making a choice to forgivemeans asking yourself, “Would I rather be

rightorwouldIratherbehappy?”Beforeyoupayforsomeoneelse'sfear-based actions by being angry for the rest of your life, ask for your fear-basedthoughtstobehealed.Youmaybesurprisedbyaspaceinbothyourmindandheartforadifferentbelief—aswellasthereturnofjoy.

Youmayhaveagreatersenseofbeingonsolidground.At one time in my life I felt like aWhac-A-Mole. Every timemy headpoppedaboveground,Igotwhackedonthehead.NowonderIthoughttheworldwasascaryplace.By the timeI startedsaying thisprayer, I'ddoneenoughspiritualwork

thatIinsteadfeltlikeaninflatabletoythat'stiedtoafoundation.Imightgetknockedoverfromtimetotime,butI'dalwayspoprightbackupagain.But just a couple of weeks after starting the prayer, I felt like that

inflatable toy had been set free and was now floating on the surface ofwater.Iwasbouncingaroundalittlebutstayingupright,beingcarriedbythecurrents.A big reason for this shift is that the prayer healedmy self-judgment.

Typicallywe spendmore time thanwe realize playing a role in order tomakeothershappy.We thinkwedo thisbecausewedon'twantothers tojudgeus,butwe'reactuallydoingitbecausewe'rejudgingourselves.WhoamItofollowmyownpath,speakmymind,orsayno?Whenthatfearishealed,wefulfilloneofmyfavoritestatements:Whatotherpeoplethinkofmeisnoneofmybusiness.Inotherwords,westoptakingthingspersonally.Weliveinourownspiritualstrength.WebecomelikeTeflon,sothefearsofotherssliderightoffus.Inthatplace,weareunshakable,trulyonsolidground.Now,insteadofmythoughtsfocusingonwhatotherpeoplethink,Ican

focusonthequestion,“AmIatpeace?”Andiftheanswerisno,theissueisnot,“WhatcanIfixorhowcanImakethemhappy?”It's...

ten

HowDoesthePrayerWorkinRealLife?

Fear is powerful stuff. It can be so subtle and wear so many differentdisguises,wemaynotknowwhatwe'redealingwith.Itcanputthebrakesonourlives,causeustostaytoolonginsituationsthatdon'tserveus,andpreventusfrommakingdecisionsthatcanmoveusforward.To help you recognize areas of your life in which fear may be more

presentthanyouthink,hereareseveralsituationsinwhichfearhasplayedamajor role. Even if your circumstances are different from these, use thesuggestionattheendofeachstorytothinkofanareainyourlifeinwhichtheprayercansupportyou.

FORMOST PEOPLE, the idea of losing their job, going through foreclosure,having a chronic health condition, or experiencing a change in familyrelationships would be enough to send them into a tailspin of fear. Butimagine facing all four of those challenges at the same time—and yetfeelingcalmerthaneverthroughitall.ThatwasthecaseforShelley,whoattendedaworkshopaboutTheOnlyLittlePrayerYouNeedontheeveofbeinglaidofffromhercorporatejob.For several months, Shelley's boss had tried to intimidate her into

quitting her job, which would have saved the company a severancepackage.Everydayshewokeupdreadinggoingtotheofficeknowinghowshe'dbesubjectedyetagaintoherboss'sfear-basedtactics.At the same time, Shelley and her husband were trying to sell their

house,buttheylearnedtherewereseverestructuralproblemswiththeolderbungalow,whichtheynowlovinglycalltheTitanic.Becauseitwouldcostfarmoretorepairthehousethanit'sworth,they'ddecidedtodoashortsale

andpossiblyaforeclosure,whichwouldbeasourceofembarrassment,nottomentionuncertaintyaboutwheretheyandtheirelementary-school-ageddaughterwilllive.As if thatweren't enough, Shelley hasGraves disease, an autoimmune

disorder that affects the thyroid and saps her energy. And she recentlylearned thathermotherwillbemoving inwith themat theTitanicdue tounexpectedchangesinherownlivingsituation.It may look as though the rattles in Shelley's dashboard haven't

disappearedsinceshecametotheworkshopandstartedusingtheprayer.Infact,itmayseemthatthey'vemultiplied.Yetherhusbandnoticedthatshesmilesmore now than ever.Why? “I'm calmer than I've ever been,” shesays.“I use the prayer on an hourly basis, evenminute tominute,” Shelley

says.“It'salmostasenseofempowermentandgreatcourage.Inthepast,IfeltlikeIwasscaredallthetime,makingrashdecisionsbasedonfear.Butwhenyouslowdownandthefearishealedandyouexperiencepeace,youmakebetterdecisions.”Becauseshe'snolongerrunningonfear,Shelleytruststhattherightjob

will come along, and she's exploring ideas for starting her own business.“FiveyearsagoIwouldhavejumpedatthefirstjobofferandbeentotallymiserableafter sixmonths,” she says. “NowI'mable to takea stepback,lookatthefear,andaskforhealing.”Shelley's inner peace has impacted her family too. “I feel like I'm a

calmer person, so I'm projecting more calm to my family,” she says.“Whateveryou'reprojectingcanaffectyourwholehousehold.”Her husband understands the prayer in a different way.When Shelley

camehomefromtheprayerworkshop,shetoldhimallaboutitandsharedthe list of fears she'dwritten as part of that experience.Then shehandedhim a blank sheet of paper and asked him to do the same thing. Theyweren'tsurprisedtofindthatmanyofthesamefearsshoweduponbothoftheirlists.

“Theprayerchangesourmindssowecanlivewithpeace,nomatterwhat'sgoingonaroundus.”

Neitherof themexpected todealwith somanychallenges at once, butShelleybelievesintheadagethatGoddoesn'tgiveyoumorethanyoucanhandle.Nowsheknowsthepowerofhavingherfearhealed.

“IknowthatGodisworkinginmylife.Itmaynotbeaccordingtomyscheduleorgoingexactly thewayIwant,but IknowHe's thereandHe'sworking.Theprayerhasgivenmefaithtoknoweverythingisgoingtobeokay.There'snoneedtobefearfulaboutanything.Idon'tthinkI'llevergobacktobeingscaredShelleyagain.”Shelley'sstoryillustratesthepowerofthisprayertomakeatruemiracle

happen:theprayerchangesourmindssowecanlivewithpeace,nomatterwhat'sgoingonaroundus.IdoubtthatanyonewouldblameShelleyifshegotangry,depressed,or

overwhelmed rightnow. In fact, theworldhasprogrammedher todo so.Isn'tajobthesourceofyoursecurity?Isn'tahousethesourceofshelterandcomfort?Howcouldyoulosebothandbecalmaboutit?Thisiswhytheprayerworksinreallife:itreplacestheartificialsources

of security, shelter, and comfort in our lives with the real thing—remembranceofourconnectiontoGod,whichisourtrueabundance.Shelley is still dealingwith challenges, but theway she's dealingwith

themhaschanged.Theexternalsinherlifenolongerhavepoweroverher.Nowit'sallaboutlivingfromamorepeacefulcenter,supportedbySpirit.

Ifyou'refacingthelossofajob,home,orrelationshipthatgivesyouasenseofsecurity,askforthis:Pleasehealmyfear-based

thoughtsaboutthefuturesoIcanexperiencecomfortandsecurityfrommytrueSource.

AFRIENDINTEXASiswritingabookthatshewantstosellontheInternet,launchingabusinessthatwillcarryherintoretirement.Ajournalist,shehaswonmoreawardsforherinvestigativestoriesthanshecanfitononewall,so she'snot afraid to tackledifficult subjectsorwalk intonewsituations.Butwhenshereceivedanemailfromawell-knownInternetmarketeraboutatrainingthatwouldbeidealforher,heregowenttowork:

You'llhavetoflytoNewYorkandbookahotel.That'salotofmoney.Ifyouwait,thetrainingwillprobablybeofferedonvideoforalotless.Develop the product first and test it—then go to a training for guidancewhenyouhavesomethingtangibletolookat.

You'llprobablybetheonlywomanthere,ortheonlypersonunderseventy.Whatifyou'rebored?Whatifthisisjustnotyourgroup?

Heregogeneratedanentirelaundrylistoffearsandobjections,andallofthemlookedlikeperfectly logicalreasonstostayhome.Butsomethinginherwanted to say yes. Something about this event affirmed her desire toexpress herself in a way that's true to the core of her being, creatingsomethingofvaluethatwillcarryherthroughtherestofherlifewithjoy.Thisisthetrapoftheego.Whiletheegosometimessoundslikeatwo-

year-old who hasn't slept for days, it can also sound like an accountantwearingsensibleshoes.Itcantickoffallthereasonstostaysmall,andtheywillmakesensetoyoubecausethey'reexactlywhatmanyofyourfriendsandrelativeswouldsay.Oh,that'sWAYtoomuchmoney!It'ssucharisk...whatifit'snotworthit?It'sgoingtobefreezinginManhattanatthattimeofyear,andyoudon'tevenownawintercoat.Alloftheseexcusessoundperfectly sensible, butwhat the ego is really saying is this: “I'm terrifiedthatyouwill learn,grow,andfindmorejoy.IwilldoeverythingIcantokeep you locked in the status quo, and I will be very crafty about it bymakingitseemlikeit'sinyourownbestinterests.”That'showwestaysmall,bored,andunhappy.The thing is, true joy doesn't come from following a backup plan. It

comesfromdoingthethingyou'reafraidtodo.Infact,ifyou'reafraidtodoit,it'saprettygoodsignthatthat'sexactlywhatyoushoulddo,becauseitwouldnourishyourhigherSelf.You can try to talk yourself out of the fear. Or you can ask theHoly

Spirittohealyourfear-basedthoughtsandstartlivingwithjoytoday.

Ifyou'reafraidtotakeariskandmoveforward,askforthis:Pleasehealmyfear-basedthoughtsaboutdoingwhatIlovesoIcancreate

thelifeofmydreams.

MAYBE ONE OF THEMOST-ASKED questions about this prayer is this: “HowcantheprayerhelpmewhenI'vegonethroughaloss?WhatifsomeoneIlovehasdied,an important relationshiphasended,or I'vegone throughalife-changingcrisis?Isn'titnormaltofeelgriefandanger?”Absolutely.Here'showoneyoungpersonexpressedthequestion.

“Well,whathappensiftheworstfearshavealreadycometopass?Forme personally that means that my smarts, athleticism, and socialabilitiesallgottakenfrommeinacarwreckthatwasn'tevenmyfault.Aftergivingbasicallytheentiretyofmyadolescencetoayouthgroup[I'm twenty-five now], I head off to college to study and, in onemoment,my lifebasicallygot ruinedbecauseofanotherdriver.Andnowwhat? I still spend four days aweek in therapy, and there's notreallyallthatmuchhopethatit'sgoingtobechanginganydaysoon.”

Here'swhat I believe:God is not an entitywhodispenses judgment orpunishment, or who lets bad things happen to good people. Instead, IbelievethatGodislove.Andbecausewe'rechildrenofGod,weareloveaswell.Inthisworld,though,wefaceallsortsofchallengesinwhichangerand

griefarenatural.Butifyoucanaskforyourfearstobehealed—fearsaboutwhatyour lifewill look like,whatyouwillandwon'tbeable todo,howyoucanevernotbeangryagain—youcanopenthedoortojoy.Again, this isnotabout just thinkinghappy thoughtsandhoping things

willchange.It'saboutaskingforadeepandprofoundhealingfromahigherpowersothatyoucanexperiencepeaceinyourmindandheartagain.In that place of peace, life is restored.Not because your body—or the

personor relationshipyou lost—changes.But becauseyour remembranceof love is restored.As you remember the child ofGodyou are, peace ofmindbecomespossibleonceagain.

Ifyou'redealingwithgriefandanger,askforthis:Pleasehealmyfear-basedthoughtsaboutmylosssothatIcanlivewithjoyagain.

LOVERELATIONSHIPSMAYbemorerifewithfearthanalmostanyotherareaof our lives. One of the stories I tell in my prayer workshops goes asfollows:Iwasavoraciousreaderasachild,andthebooksthat impressedthemselves on me the most were stories of unrequited love. I read theendingtoGoneWiththeWindoverandoveragain,tryingtowillRhetttocomebacktoScarlett.IconsumedLoveStoryinonesittingonenightwhenIstayedatmybestfriend'shouse,andthetwoofussawthemovietwice.We never knew what Jenny died of, but we were sure Oliver loved her

becausewecouldseethepaininhiseyes.BythetimeIwasateenager,theprogrammingwascomplete:lovemeant

loss,sacrifice,andheartache—allfirst-classformsoffear.Andso,whenaman showedup inmy life, Iwouldassume thathewould leaveoneday.And—here comes the fun part—Iwould sabotage the relationship just togivehimalittlenudge.ThenIcouldsay,“See?Therearenogoodmenoutthere!”—when in factmy ego had choreographed thewhole thing out offear.ThenBobcamealong.Afterwe'ddatedaboutthreemonths,he'dalready

taughtme that I'd staywarmer if I actuallybuttonedmy coat rather thanclutchingitclosedwithonehand,andhe'dvolunteeredtoweather-stripmyhousebecause,afterall,winterwascoming,Iwasstrappedforcash,anditwouldsavememoneyifhecouldreducemyheatingbills.I'dbeenledtoaWhiteKnightinaDodgeCaravan—amanwhoworeanavybluesweaterwithhiscompany'semblemstitchedonthebreast,andwhocarriedlittleto-do-list slips of paper in his pocket that he actually completed and threwaway.ThisiswhyIhadtotrytosabotagetherelationship.Itcouldn'tbelove

withoutduress,couldit?MyegowenttoworkonthedaywhenBobandIweregoingtoseethe

Lipitor Stallions perform. (They're not really called the Lipitor Stallions,butthenamestartswithLandishardtoremember,soIcalltheStallionsbytheir“pharmaceutical”name.)BeforeBobandIleftfortheshow,Ifoundsomething to be upset with him about. And while we sat through theperformance,myegobecamemoreindignantandoutragedbytheminute.BythetimetheStallionstooktheirfinalsynchronizedbow,Iwasintears.On the way home, I couldn't stop crying. But I realized that the tears

weren't out ofmy trumped-up anger towardBob. Iwas crying because Ididn'twantthisrelationshiptoend.And,giventhewayIwasacting,Bobwouldhavebeenperfectlyjustifiedinopeningthepassengerdoor,shovingmeoutof thevan,anddrivingoffwithhis toolboxandneverspeakingtomeagain.“I'mjustafraidoneofuswilldosomethingtodestroythisrelationship,”

Isaidbetweensobs,soundinga lot likeIhadonthoserainydaysreadingGoneWiththeWind.“AndIdon'twantittoend.”“Well,”Bobsaid,hisdeepvoicesoftandreassuring.“Idon'tseealack

ofwillingnessoneitherofourpartstomakethisrelationshipwork.”Whoa. I'd justcomeface tofacewithreal love.Not theplaying-in-the-

snowkind fromLoveStory or the“Idon'tgiveadamn”kind fromGoneWiththeWind.Butthesteadfastkindthathasyourbackevenwhenyou'reactinginsane.Ihadalwaysthoughtmenhadabandonedme.ButnowIcouldseethatI

wastheonewhohadleft,devisingplots todrivethemaway, justifyinginmy mind that they'd done something unforgivable, then passing moremonthsbemoaningthelackofavailablemenintheworld.Butinthisrelationship,Bobwasn'tplayingthegame,soIcouldn'teither.

Inthefaceofforgivenessandunderstanding,fearwasoutmatchedthatday,andanewdefinitionoflovetookitsplace.

Ifyou'renotexperiencingtheloverelationshipyouwantinyourlife,askforthis:Pleasehealmyfear-basedthoughtsaboutmyownself

worthsoIcanhavethetrueandsteadfastloveIdeserve.

ALIFE-CHANGINGILLNESScanbejustasdevastatingtoalovedoneasitistothepatient.SuchisthecasewithBill,whosewifeGailwasdiagnosedwithlungcancerfromexposuretoradonfouryearsearlier.Bill used the Serenity Prayer daily to preserve his sanity asGailwent

throughsurgeryandchemotherapy.ItseemedthattheprocedureshaddonetheirjobuntilonedaywhenGailexperiencedpaininonehip.Gail and I hadmet at a presentation just twoweeks earlier, when she

pickedupacardabouttheTheOnlyLittlePrayerYouNeed.“Itseemedsosimple,”shesays.“That'swhatdrewmetoit.”Whenshelearnedthat thehippainwasarecurrenceofcancer,Gailstartedusingtheprayer—andsodidBill.“I spend quite a bit of time walking,” Bill tells me. “I find myself

repeating the prayer in rhythm to my walking instead of fussing aboutwhat'sgoingonwithGail.Ifindthatallthosefearsmeltaway.”Bill likesthefact that theprayer isshortandeasytoremember,andhe

has addedhis ownwording: “All is going tobewell. I placemy faith inGod.Iamnotalone.Godiswithme.”TheprayerhelpsnotonlywhileBilliswalking,butalsointhemiddleof

thenightwhenhewakesupandstarts to thinkabout thecancer.“Ithelpsmegetthatstuffoutofmyhead,”hesays.The calming effect lasts. And he has found comfort in the particular

language of the prayer. “The ‘fear-based thoughts’wording has helped alot.Fearsdon'tseemasreal tomebecausetheyare just thoughts.It takesthepoweroffearaway.”Bill andGail havehadgoodnewsof late, as there havebeennomore

recurrences following a round of radiation. For Gail's part, she practicesstaying in themomentrather thanwonderingabout thefuture.“Thereal fwordinourworldis‘fear,’”shesays.“ThemoreIreadaboutwellnessandcancer,Iseethatfearplaysatremendouspart.Everythingchangeswhenit'snotthere.Ifwestayinthenow,therereallyisn'tsomuchtobeafraidof,isthere?”

Ifyou'redealingwithconcernoveryourownhealthorthatoflovedones,askforthis:Pleasehealmyfear-basedthoughtsaboutphysicalwellbeingsoIcanbeacalmandhealingpresenceformyselfand

others.

LAURAHASASTORY thatprobablyeveryparentcan relate to.Howdoyouallowforindependenceandgrowthwhenyouwanttocontrolthefateofthepeopleyoulovethemost?ForLaura,thisappliesnotonlytoherrelationshipwithherchildren,but

alsotohersister'sboys,whomsheadopted.Anditappliestohersister,too,whohaslongstruggledwithdrugaddictionandmovedinwithLaurawhenshewasreleasedfromprison.“Iwas theoldestchild,andourmomwasabsent,”Laurasays,“so I've

alwaysbeeninthisroleofbeingtheboss.SometimesI'veeitherpassivelyor passive-aggressively said, ‘Let me run the show.’ For me, fear andcontrolhavegonehandinhand.Ifthere'ssomethingI'mafraidof,I'mgoingtograbontocontrolharderthanever.”That,shesays, iswhyshe'shadsuchahard timeallowinghersister to

takeonmoreresponsibilityandmakeherowndecisions.“Shecametomyhousedirectlyfromprison,”Lauratellsme.“Shewas

veryhumbleandhadtheattitudeof‘You'rethebossofme.’Thatworkedoutfine,becauseIwantedhertodowhatIsaid,treatingherlikeachild.”There'snoquestionthatLaura'sconcernsarereal.Hersistersometimes

forgets to take her medications, and she's gotten behind the wheel whenshe'snotinastateofmindtodrive.ButLaura'scontinualeffortstocontrol

hersister'sbehaviorkeepsbothofthemstuck.“I'vekeptherdependentoutoffearthatshe'sgoingtomakebadchoices.

I'veendedupresentingit,andsheresentsitaswell.Thatdoesn'tallowforanygrowth,andI'vebecomeatyrant.IhavetojustletgoandstopbeingsofearfulandletGodhelphernavigate.”The prayer has helped Laura understand that, by making different

choicesforherselfasaparentandsister,shechangesthedynamicsinthoserelationshipsforthebetter.“Ifyouclingsotightlytocontrolofthepeoplearoundyouanddon'tgive

ituptoGod,it'sgoingtoblowupinyourface.I'veexperiencedthatenoughtimestoknow.Butthoseoldhabitsarehardtobreak.UntilIwenttoTheOnlyLittlePrayerworkshop, Ididn'tunderstandwhy. It'sbecause fear issuchapowerfuldriverofthosehabits.”To help change those habits, Laura is making small but significant

changes.Shetookhersisteroutforaneveningofkaraokebecausehersisterloves to sing. “Iwant us to domore joyful things together,” Laura says.She'salso relaxingher tendency to judge, so shecanmeether sisterwith“easeratherthananimosity”whenevershewalksintheroom.Ultimately,Lauranowrealizesthatthebestthingshecandoasaparent

andsisteristoaskforherownfear-basedthoughtstobehealed.“It seems self-centered that I should focus onme,” she says. “But the

realityis, ifIdon't takecareofmyownspirit,Ihavenobusinesshelpingotherpeople.”

Ifyourconcernforotherstakestheformofcontrol,askforthis:Pleasehealmyfear-basedthoughtsaboutthepeopleinmylifesoI

cantreatthemwithrespectandtrustGodtohelpthemgrow.

eleven

HowthePrayerCanChangetheWorld

TwiceinmylifeI'vehaddreamsinwhichI'vefeltcompletebliss.Inonedream,whichIhadwhenIwassevenoreight,myfamilywas inouroldDeSoto,drivingupthecraggyswitchbacksofamountain.Whenwegottothetop,Isteppedoutofthecarandoverthetopofthemountain,whereIsawnothingbutverdantgreengrass.Isatdowninthemeadowandstaredatthegreenandfeltcompletepeace,thepeacethatpassethunderstanding.Intheseconddream,IwassentintospaceinarocketbecauseGodwas

unhappywith thedirection theworldwasgoingandwanted torecalibrateit.Heplannedtostopitfortwentyminutestomaketheadjustment.Duringthattime,Ifeltabsolutestillness,knowingthatnooceanswereebbingandflowing,nocloudswerefloating.Justsublimestillnessandpeace.In both cases, waking up from the dream was a shock and a

disappointment.Whycouldn'twecomeclosetothatsenseofpeacehereinourearthlylives?ForyearsI tried tofigureoutwhat thatpeacewas.But itwasn'tuntil I

started studyingACourse inMiracles that I realized: that peacewas thecompleteabsenceoffear.Itwasthefeelingoftrue,pure,untarnishedlove,thelightthatshinesinallofus,freeofanyfear-basedthoughtsorbeliefs.SoIstillaskthequestion:Isitpossibletoexperiencethatpeaceonearth?

I'mnotsure,butI thinkit'sworthaskingfor.Andifanythingcandoit, Ibelievethisprayermaybethekey.

Over thecenturies,peoplehaveaskedhowwecanhealourselvesand theworld. How can we stop being violent people? How can we accept oneanother?Howcanweshare thebountyof theworldwitheveryone?How

canwefindpeaceonearth?Thefirststepistoacknowledgethatalltheglobalproblems,justlikethe

onesweexperienceinourindividuallives,comefromfear.We'restuckinthe same spin cycle of despair on both a personal and a universal levelbecausewekeepthinkingwecangetourselvesoutofthemesswe'rein.But no trying, proving, accomplishing, doing, testing, succeeding,

remodeling,accumulating,protesting,attaining, running,ordesigningwilleliminateour fears.Our egowill still be right there, ready to replaceonefearwithanother.Whenweaskforourfear-basedthoughtstobehealed,we'reaskingtobe

freeofanythingthatstandsinthewayoftheloveofGod.Ibelievethisisthe meaning of being in this world but not of it: aligning ourselves soconsciouslyandintentionallywithourtrueSelfthatfearhaslessandlessofa hold on us. It's lovingly quieting the two-year-old and singing her alullaby.

Atarecentwomen'sspiritualityworkshop,welaunchedayearofexploringthe question, “Are you as happy as you want to be?” We asked theparticipantstojournalaboutwhathappinessmeanstothem.Severalbalkedat the word “happy” because it seemed frivolous or superficial. Somepreferredwordslike“contented,”“peaceful,”“joyful.”Butwhenwestartedtalkingaboutwhat thosewordsmean,wecameto

some agreement. Freedom. Forgiveness. Fulfillment. Happiness doesn'tnecessarily mean that you'll be skipping for joy, but it does mean you'llhavepeaceofmind—thepeaceofknowingyou'resafe,takencareof,thatyoucantrustinwhatsurroundsyou.IthinkaboutitasthepeaceofHome.This innerpeace is auniversaldesirebecause it reflectswhoweareat

ourcoreaschildrenofGod.Nomatterwhatyourreligionorculture,innerpeace is as coveted as harmony in the home, good health, education,personal freedom, compassion, and a sense of belonging. It is the key topeaceonearth,oneindividualatatime.So,cantheprayertrulyhelpwiththemostpressinglarge-scaleproblems

onthisplanet?Canitreallyaddressextremeoppression,violence,poverty,prejudice,famine,disease,corruption,andenvironmentalchange?Letme ask you this: If this prayer can't change it, what can? The big

problemswefacetodayarethesameoneswe'vefacedforgenerations,andthey all come from deeply ingrained patterns of anger, blame, guilt, andjudgment.Tobuildabetterworld—tofinallymoveforward inadifferent

andsignificantway—allour thoughts,words,andactionsmatter.Wecanonlybuildaworldthat'sdifferentfromtheonewe'vebuiltbeforeif thosethoughts,words,andactionsarepoweredbyloveratherthanfear.

Imagineanyone on the planet who is experiencing domestic violence using thisprayer and being healed of their feelings of unworthiness, which theyexpressasvictimhood.

Imaginetheperpetratorsofdomesticviolenceusingthisprayerandbeinghealedoftheir feelingsofunworthiness,which theyexpressbyexertingdominanceoverothers.

Imaginepeoplewhohavelosttheirhomeinanaturaldisasterusingtheprayerandfindingevengreaterinnerstrengthtojointogetherandbuildanew.

Imaginepeople in areas lacking steady employment and sufficient basic servicesusingtheprayerandfindingnewopportunitiesopeninguptosupportthem.

Imaginethosewhostandinthewayofeducation—particularlyforgirls—usingtheprayerandfeelinglessthreatenedbytheempowermentofothers.

Imaginepeopleengagedinlong-standingbattlesusingtheprayerandbeinghealedofresentment,clearingapathtowardafutureforgedbyforgiveness.

Certainly this may seem idealistic, but that's how we change. We turntowardahigheridealandmakeitourdestination.Weaskforhelpto,asACourseinMiraclessays,live“abovethebattlefield”ofchaosanddespair.We say a prayer that can boost humanitarian efforts beyond what ourhumanhandscando.Whenweseetheworldthroughthelensoftheprayer,werealizethatthe

destructive force in the world isn't people, it's fear. As long as we viewhuman beings as destructive,wewill continue to blame, perpetuating theendless pattern of attack and defense. But when we ask for fear to behealed,wechange theconversation.Weget to therootcauseofviolence,poverty, terrorism, apathy, cynicism, and divisiveness.We free ourselvesandotherstobemotivedbylovingactioninstead.

A Course in Miracles talks about the fact that there's no hierarchy ofmiracles,andthattheenergyoffearisthesamewhetherit'sonepersonoronebillion.Inotherwords,theshame,guilt,anger,scarcity,andworrywefeelonanindividuallevelisthesameasthoseemotionsonaglobalscale.

Wecan't thinkourwayoutof them,althougheverysecondprovidesusafreshopportunitytochooselove.

“Thehealinghastocomefromadifferentplace,notfromourminds.”

Thehealinghastocomefromadifferentplace,notfromourminds.TheCoursesays thatouregomindisrootedinfearandfinds iteverywhere itlooks.Thisiswhyyoucanhavewhatlooksliketheperfectlifeandstillbemiserable,becauseyou'restillidentifyingwiththeego.Buttheego'snotallwe'vegot.We'vealsogotaconnectiontothedivine,

toCreator,Spirit.Loveistheotherpartofusthatwecanrelyonbecauseitconnectsustothemindofahigherpower.Thisshiftsourdesirefrommaterialthingsoranewjoborrelationship—

whatwe thinkwillmake us happy—to peace ofmind,which is theonlything that canmake us happy. It resets our priorities. And imaginewhatwouldhappenifwedidthatonalargescale?Asyousaythisprayerconsistently,you'llbecreatingpeaceinyourown

mind that will emanate from you, transforming your relationships, yourwork,touchingeveryonearoundyou.Inessence,you'llbecreatingaringofpeace thatwill gowithyoueverywhere.This iswhatmakes thispracticerevolutionary,becausetheprayernotonlyhealsus,ithealstheworld.Imagine if1,000peoplecreateda ringofpeace,or10,000people,or1

millionpeople.At somepoint—the tippingpoint—wecan create aworldthatisrunlessbyfearandmorebylove.

Thefirststepistobecomeawareofourfear-basedthoughts.

Thesecondstepistosaytheprayer.

Thethirdstepistowitnessthemiracleandgivethanksforit.

Youmaywant tomake a personal commitment that goes something likethis: “I commit to using the power of this prayer for the goodofmyself,thoseinmylifeandtheworld.”Collectivelywe'vecreatedasocietyoffear—weliterallyexistinaworld

ofhurt.Butbyusingtheprayer,youhavethepowertoputtheworldinthehandsoftheHolySpirit,whocantransformit.Fearseparatesanddivides.Loveunifiesandextends.Whenyouusetheprayer,youhelptipthebalancetowardlove.

twelve

Q&A

Asyoustartusingtheprayer,questionsmaycometomind.HereareFAQsforquickreference.

Q.Whatifyoudon'tbelieveintheHolySpirit?

A.That'sokay.It'snotnecessarytobelieve.Theonlythingthat'snecessaryisthewillingnesstosaytheprayerandthenwitnesswhathappens.Aslongas there's an opening—even if the aperture is minute—healing will takeplace.

Q.Whatifyouforgettoask?

A. That's okay, too. You're not being graded on this. And once youremembertoask,oneprayercanreleaseyoufromyears'worthoffear.

Q.WhatisthepowerI'minvoking?

A.Thesacredandall-encompassingpoweroflove.

“It'snotnecessarytobelieve.Theonlythingthat'snecessaryisthewillingnesstosaytheprayerandthen

witnesswhathappens.”

Q.Whatiftheprayerdoesn'tseemtobeworking?

A.Keepdoingitanyway.Youhaveyears'worthoffearinstilledinyou,so

itcantakeawhilebeforeyoustarttofeelanyshift.Ontheotherhand,youmayfeelachangeimmediately.

Q.WhatshouldIdoaftersayingtheprayer?

A.Payattention.Startnoticinghowyoufeelandhowtheworldaroundyouchanges. You'll probably experience more of what we might think of asserendipity, or a sense that events in your day are flowing easily andsmoothly, likesomeoneischoreographingthemforyou.Inessence, that'sexactly what's happening. You are experiencing the natural order of theuniverse, unimpededbyyourbarriers ofworry and control.Relax into it.Allowyourselftobecarriedalong.

Q.WhatwillIexperienceovertime?

A. More peace of mind. A sense that things will be okay without yourneedingtoworryorstressoverthem.

Q.Willthismakemelazyorunambitious?

A.Notunlessyouwantitto.Experiencingtheeaseoflifewhenyourfearsarehealedmakesitpossibletoseethebeautyaroundyouandtocontributeinwaysyoumaynothavethoughtofbefore.Itmakesitpossibleforyoutodowhatmakesyouhappy,whatyoucameheretodo,ratherthantryingtoshoehornyourlifeintosomeoneelse'sexpectations.

Q.Willalltheproblemsandchallengesinmylifegoaway?

A.Notnecessarily,butyouwillexperiencethemdifferently.Youmayviewthemwithgraceandforgivenessratherthanangerandresentment.Youwillreplace blame with understanding. You will no longer need to create orperpetuate drama in your life.As issues come up, you'll be free tomakethoughtful decisions for the good of all. You will stop trying to pleaseothersatyourownexpense.Andyou'llbehealedoftheneedforapatternofattackandself-defense,inyourownmindandintheouterworld.

“Askforyourexpectationsandimpatiencetobehealed,becausethey'rebothformsoffear.”

Q. I'mgetting annoyedby askingover andover andnot seeing

results.WhatdoIdo?

A.Askforyourexpectationsandimpatiencetobehealed,becausethey'rebothformsoffear.

Q.I'maskingformyworldtochange,andthepeoplewhoannoymearestillhere.WhatamIdoingwrong?

A. The key is that you don't ask for different circumstances or differentpeopleinyourlife,youaskforyourself tobechanged.Whenthatoccurs,thecircumstancesandpeopleinyourlifewillshift.

Q.CanIusetheprayeronsomeoneelse'sbehalf?

A.Yes, although the intent isnot to “fix” thatperson topleaseyou.Onewomanused theprayeronbehalfofayoungmanwithsevereattachmentdisorderwhosewholelife,shesays,isruledbyfear.Overaperiodofaboutthreemonths,shesawhimstartingtotrustmore—achangeshecalls“trulyamazing.”

Q. I've been using the prayer for several days, and today I feelpanicked over things that haven't bothered me before. Why isthat?

A. The healing is going deeper. The ego is getting nervous and is actingout.Keepaskingforallyourfear-basedthinkingtobehealedatthedeepestlevels.

Q.ShouldIaskforspecificthoughtstobehealed,orthoughtsingeneral? For instance, is it better to ask for all my fears aboutmoneytobehealed,orshouldIaskformyfearaboutretirementsavingstobehealed?

A. Both are equally powerful prayers. You can alternate, or just ask forwhateverisonyourmindatanymoment.Havenofear:youcan'tmakeamistake.

“Keepaskingforallyourfear-basedthinkingtobehealedatthedeepestlevels.”

thirteen

AndFinally...

Youknowhowitgoes.Youthink,IfIcanjustgetpastthis,thenlifewillbegood.Then,themomentthatchallengeisoutoftheway,whathappens?Anothercomestotakeitsplace.Iknowwhatit's liketolivemylifeonthatrunawaytrain.OnedayI'm

nervousaboutadeadline.ThenImeetthedeadline,everyone'shappywithmywork,andI'mimmediatelyanxiousaboutmoney...oraconversationIneedtohave...orahundredotherthingsthatarewaitinginthewingstokeepmeinaconstantstateofanxiety.In truth, I have a wonderful life. A loving husband, truly wonderful

friendsandfamily,abeautifulhome,workIenjoy,goodhealth.Andyet,when I started really paying attention to my thoughts after CR-V day, IrealizedthatI'vebeenconstantlydruggedbyfear.Ithinkmostofusare.Nowonderwe're tired,cranky,short-tempered,ordifficult togetalong

with. Or, worse, violent, calculating, unforgiving. It's because we live infearanddon'tevenknowit.Orifwedo,wedon'tknowhowtogetoutofit.Sohere'stheanswer:Saytheprayer.Saytheprayer.Saytheprayer.Alldaylong,saytheprayer.

In May 2004, a story in Smithsonian magazine documented the DalaiLama's recent visit to theUnitedStates.Before he arrived, researchers attheMassachusettsInstituteofTechnology(MIT)decidedtostudyhimandfindoutwhyhewassodarnhappyallthetime.Clearly,theythought,theremustbesomethingwrong.Embedded in the article is a fascinating statistic. It seems that, in a

survey of thirty years of psychology publications, researchers counted46,000papersondepression—and400onjoy.Thosenumberssuggestasacredtruth:wegetwhatwelookfor.Ifwe've

looked for depression 46,000 times and joy only 400, it says a lot aboutwhatwe'refocusedonandwhatwewanttofind.We'restartingwiththepremisethatlifeisastruggleandwehavetofix

it.But this is thefear-basedegotryingtomakeacasefor itsexistence.Itlooksforevidenceeverydaythatthisworldisasickanddangerousplace.And,ofcourse,ifthat'swhatyou'relookingfor,youdon'thavetolookfartofindit.Butwhatifwestartedwithadifferentpremise?Whatifwebeganwith

the belief that, as children of God, our natural state is one of balance,harmony,andwellbeing?Whatiftherewere46,000articlesonjoyandonly400ondepression?Peoplewouldsaywe'reignoringtheproblemorliving

indenial.ButACourse inMiracles, alongwithother spiritual texts, saysthat balance andharmonyare our natural inheritance as children ofGod.Thisisnotaboutpositivethinking.It'saboutbeingfreefromthefear-basedego.Wesimplycannotmoveforwardwhilewe'reinthenegativespincycleoffear-basedthoughts.

“Thisisnotaboutpositivethinking.It'saboutbeingfreefromthefear-basedego.”

ACourseinMiraclessaysthatloveisrealandfearisnot.Butfearcanseemmightyrealwhenyou'recarrying itaround likeanelephantonyourbackallday.Whenitfillsupyourcellsandgivesyouanervousstomachorheadachesorheartproblemsorcancer.Whenitinterfereswithyourabilitytosleep,tohavehappyrelationships,topursueyourdreams.Inlightofhowscarytheworldoftenseems,wemaythinkweneedtobe

fearless. But the prayer creates a new definition of that word. Instead ofbeingbrave in the faceofdanger, itmeans experiencinggreaterpeaceofmind.Everytimeyousaytheprayer,youbecomemorefearless.The prayer shifts our focus from the outside world to our inner

connectionwith our trueSelf andGod.When you ask theHolySpirit tohealyourfear-basedthoughts,youacknowledgethatyourhappinessdoesn'tdepend on the chaotic world around you. Instead, it depends on thesteadfastpeaceofGodwithinyou.

Ibelieveourcommitmenttothehealingoffearisthekeytothenextstepinspiritualevolution.Tobringaboutgreatchangeonthisplanet,weneedtocollaborate with Spirit on an individual level. In the past, this has beeninhibitedby teachings thatonlyspiritualor religious leadershaveadirectlinetoGod.Butinthepastfewdecades,we'vereturnedtoanunderstandingthat,aschildrenofGod,weareallconnecteddirectlytoSpirit,andwecandevelop that relationship in community and in the privacy of our owncontemplation.Ifwe are to truly create a differentworld for ourselves and others,we

needtoworkwithpowersbeyondourownhands.Butwhenwe'regovernedbyfear,thatcollaborationiscrippledor,atbest,slowed.Tryingtoarriveata different destination using our egos as vehicles is like trying to paddlearoundtheworldinacanoe.Toworkasco-creatorsandpartnerswiththeDivine,weneedtobefree

to give and receivedirect communicationwithout the interfering static offear.Justthinkofthewomanwho,onsayingtheprayerthefirsttime,heardthewords,“FINALLY!Nowwecanreallygetsomethingsdone!”Ibelievethatexuberantmessageisforallofus.Spiritiseagertohealourfears—notjust because we'll experience the abundance and joy of life, but becausewe'll be better able to bring about positive changes, helping to shift thedynamicsoftheplanet.Weallhavean infinite loopofold tapesplaying inourminds just like

theangerandfrustrationIfeltonCR-Vday.Iaskedtoletgoofthosetapes,I tried to ignore them, I attempted tounderstand them, I tried to shiftmythoughtstosomethingelse.Butuntiltheprayershowedup,thosethoughtswerestuckon“play.”SinceCR-V day, I've seen that the prayer not only erases the tapes, it

truly can help you experience everything you want in life: abundance,health,vitality,love,andpeaceofmind.

“Healingoffearisthekeytothenextstepinspiritualevolution.”

ManythingshaveshiftedinmylifeinthemonthssinceI'vebeensayingtheprayer, but theoverarching change is an ever-expanding capacity for joy.Fearnolongerlimitshowmuchroomthereisforloveinmylife.Theego, though,doesn'twantyou toheal. It's invested inkeepingyou

stuckandunhappy,soitwillshutyoudownandmakeyouforgettodothesimplestthingintheworld:Saysixwordsinyourheartandmindthatcanchangeyourlifeexperienceandmakeyoufeelfree,happyandlight.Ifyouneedto,writedowntheprayerandcarryitwithyou,putitonyourphone,dosomethingtoremindyourselfofituntilitbecomesroutine.Ittooktimetogetwhereyouare,soyouhavetogivetheprayertimeand

patience.Thiscanbedifficultsomedayswhenyoufindyourselfconstantlyasking. You start to realize how relentless the negative and fear-basedthoughtsreallyare.Anditcanseemoverwhelming,asthoughyou'restaringdown an advancing army. How can you ever win? That's when youremember,youcan't,buttheHolySpiritcan.Our two-year-old egos are not capable of being self-aware, or self-

correctingenoughtoletgoofthefear.Wehavetoaskapowergreaterthanourselvestoliftthatburdenfromus—totrulychangeourminds,tobringustoright-mindedness.Thisistherealmeaningofrighteousthinking...tobe

alignedwiththeenergyoflove.Sokeepasking.Bevigilant.Thisisspiritualpractice.Onerequesttoheal

yourthoughtsisnotgoingtotakecareofeverything.Bemindful.Practicethismorethananythingyou'vepracticedinyourwholelife.Butyouwon'tbepracticinginvain,evenifattimesitfeelsthatway.Therattlesinyourdashboardwillstarttogoaway,andmanymoremaydisappearcompletely.Using the prayer is not about never having another fear-based thought.

Thisworldisfilledwiththem.Ourmindsarefilledwiththem.Butyoucanshift the balance. You can reach the point where you wake up in themorningandgotobedatnightsatisfiedandcontentratherthanstressedandfitful.Youcanexperiencealifeinwhichyourrelationshipsareharmoniousandyoufeelsupportedandloved.Youcanfindpurposeinyourworkandbalanceyourprofessionwithpursuits thatbringyoujoy.Youcanremovethe barriers to abundance and wellbeing. You can show your kids thebeautyofthisworldandseethelightofGodinthepeopleyoumeet.It'sallpossible.Andit'swhatyoudeserve.It'swhateveryonedeserves.So say the prayer. It takes only a second. It's the simplest thing in the

world.Andresultsare100percentguaranteed.Agoodtrade-off,I'dsay,forsayingsixlittlewords.

Acknowledgments

From the day the prayer showed up in my life, this project has had amomentum and power all its own. I have no doubt that the prayer wasmeant to be shared, and that unseen hands guided it to a loving anddedicatedteam.Mygreatestthanksgoto...My agent, Stephany Evans of FinePrint Literary Management, for

immediately recognizing the power of the prayer andunfailingly offeringherexpertadviceandfriendshipalongtheway.My editor, Caroline Pincus, for championing this book from the

beginningandgivingitherthoughtfulandthoroughattention.Shehasbeenaninvaluableresourceandsteward.The design staff atRedWheel/Weiser for treating themanuscriptwith

greatcareandcraftsmanship,exceedingmyvisionofwhatitcouldbe100timesover.ClaireElizabethTerry,whomademiracleshappenbycontactingleaders

aroundtheworldonbehalfoftheprayer.Shehasbecomeatreasuredfriendthroughthisprocess.My A Course in Miracles students for their patience as I talked

ceaselesslyaboutfear-basedandlove-basedthoughts,andfortheirconstantencouragement.All those, namedandunnamed,whoallowedme to tell their stories in

thebook.I'minspiredbythedepthoftheirwisdomandfaith.Myhusband,Bob,foralwaysbeingwillingtolistenwhenIsay,“Ihave

something to tell you”—even when it's about rattles in the dashboardappearing(anddisappearing).Hissteadfastness,andhisabilitytoquestionand support, remind me every day of the gifts we're meant to offer oneanother.

TheoneSpiritwhocomfortedmewith theprayer in thefirstplaceandmakes everything possible. I can't express the depth ofmy gratitude andawe.Andtoallthosewhousethisprayerandshareitwithothers.Thankyou

forhelpingtoshiftthisworldfromfeartolove.

AbouttheAuthor

DebraLandwehrEngleisco-founderofawomen'sprogramofpersonalandspiritual growth and teaches classes in A Course inMiracles. She is theauthorofGrace from theGarden:Changing theWorldOneGardenat aTimeandhascontributedessaystointernationalcollections,includingTheArtofLiving:APracticalGuidetoBeingAlive.Widelytraveledasaspeakerandworkshopfacilitator,sheliveswithher

husband Bob in Madison County, Iowa, home of the famed coveredbridges.Youcanvisitheratwww.debraengle.com.

HamptonRoadsPublishingCompany...fortheevolvinghumanspirit

Hampton Roads Publishing Company publishes books on a variety ofsubjects,includingspirituality,health,andotherrelatedtopics.

For a copy of our latest trade catalog, call (978) 465-0504 or visit ourdistributor'swebsiteatwww.redwheelweiser.com.Youcanalsosignupforour newsletter and special offers by going towww.redwheelweiser.com/newsletter/.

TableofContents

TitlePageCopyrightContentsBlessingHisHoliness,theDalaiLamaPrefaceOne:ThePrayerTwo:WhatItMeansThree:WhatIsFear?Four:HowDoesFearImpactYourLife?Five:WhatMakesThisPrayerDifferent?Six:HowDoYouSaythePrayer?Seven:PayingAttentiontoYourThoughtsEight:WhatCanYouExpectWhenYouStart?Nine:WhatHappensOverTime?Ten:HowDoesthePrayerWorkinRealLife?Eleven:HowthePrayerCanChangetheWorldTwelve:Q&AThirteen:AndFinally...AcknowledgmentsAbouttheAuthor