the interviewer wants to know more about your managerial philosophies with regards to motivation...

7/31/2019 The Interviewer Wants to Know More About Your Managerial Philosophies With Regards to Motivation Strategies a

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The interviewer wants to know more about your managerial philosophies with regards to

motivation strategies and your ability to enable others.

The topic of motivation is hard to cover in simple interview answer and there are hundreds

of book written on the subject and motivational theories are the main topic to the study of

industrialorganizational psychology. The key things to know is that motivation is said tobe intrinsic or extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation is a motivation that is driven by an interest or

enjoyment in the work, while extrinsic motivation comes from outside of the individual.

Common extrinsic motivations are rewards like money or threat of punishment. Based on

the two types of motivators Frederick Herzberg's developed famous two-factor theory

which distinguishes between:

- Motivators such as interesting work, recognition and responsibility) which give positive

satisfaction

- Hygiene factors such as salary or benefits. Such factors despite common believe do notmotivate if present, but, if absent, result in dissatisfaction.

The name Hygiene factors is used because, similar to hygiene, the presence will not make

you healthier, but absence will cause health degradation.

While successful managers employ both types of motivations to ensure highest

productivity of the team in was proven that significant portion of human behavior is

energized and directed by unconscious motives i.e. intrinsically motivated. Professor

Steven Reiss performed a serious of studies involving more than 6,000 people whichresulted in 16 factors theory - 16 basic desires that guide nearly all human behavior.

The list includes such desires asPower,

Independence,

Curiosity,Family,

Vengeance,

Status and others.

"These desires are what drive our everyday actions and make us who we are," Reiss said.

"What makes individuals unique is the combination and ranking of these desires. Every

person has a unique desire profile."

We recommend reading his book The 16 Basic Desires That Guide Us for more

information.

Sample interview question response:

My most strong believe is that my team members should be highly motivated to give their


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best and realize their full potential. As first line manager I cannot control salary and

benefits our company provides but I can ensure the work-live balance is in place and work

conditions are above industry standards to address extrinsic motivators.

Form the other side; I pay a lot of attention to intrinsic motivators. I take care in assigning

tasks, making sure that I have right person for the job. When communicating myexpectations to employees, I make sure they understand exactly why they were selected for

a job. If I can connect people and tasks based on their background, education, and

experience, I can feel confident that they are properly motivated and will give the projecttheir all.

Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but

which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

We are as happy as we make up our minds to be.

Abraham Lincoln

Much happiness is overlooked because it doesn't cost anything.

Unknown

Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.

To be truly happy is a question of how we begin, and not how we end, of what we want and

not what we have.

Robert Louis Stevenson

To be busy is man's only happiness.

Mark Twain

The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one has to do.

James M. Barrie

The surest way to happiness is to lose yourself in a cause greater than yourself.

Unknown

The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible to-day.

Charles W. Eliot


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The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mood of

happiness, but in allowing happiness to change in form without being disappointed by the

change. For happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up.

Unknown

People don't notice whether it's summer or winter when they're happy.

Anton Chekhov

No one has ever injured his eyesight by looking on the bright side of things.

Unknown

No man can enjoy happiness without thinking that he enjoys it.

Samuel Johnson

Make happy those who are near, and those who are far will come.

Chinese Proverb

Learn to let go. That is the key to happiness.

The Buddha

It's not how much we have, but how much we enjoy that makes happiness.

Unknown

It's good to be just plain happy. It's a little better to know that you're happy; but tounderstand that you're happy and to know why and how and still be happy-be happy in the

being and the knowing---well, that is beyond happiness, that is bliss.

Henry Miller

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.

Samuel Goldwyn

In the pursuit of happiness, the difficulty lies in knowing when you have caught up.

R. H. Grenville


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If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own

happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a

few years.

Bertrand Russell

I feel that when we really love and accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then

everything in life works.

Louise Hay

We must select the illusion that appeals to our temperament and embrace it with passion, ifwe want to be happy.

Cyril Connolly

He who has no wish to be happier is the happiest of men.

W. R. Alger

Happiness is a habit, cultivate it.

Elbert Hubbard

Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower.

Unknown

Better to be happy than wise.

John Heywood

Happiness is making a bouquet of those flowers within reach.

Unknown

To be content with what one has is the greatest and truest of riches.

Cicero

All happiness comes from the desire for others to be happy. All misery comes from thedesire for oneself to be happy.

Shantideva


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Never lose your happiness. Problems will come and go, problems are an external situation

which have come from others, and they will come and go. Happiness is your own property

and you always keep something that belongs to you.

Om Shanti!!!

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

Mahatma Ghandi

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something

to hope for.

Allan K. Chalmers

Happiness is something that comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember

leaving open.

Rose Lane

I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to

satisfy them.

John Stuart Mill

Success is getting and achieving what you want. Happiness is wanting and being content

with what you get.

Unknown

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

Anne Frank

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere

where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does

one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the

simple beauty of nature.

Anne Frank

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.

Benjamin Disraeli

To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.


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Bertrand Russell

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not

grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will alwayswant to have something else or something more.

Brother David Steindl-Rast

Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.

Buddha

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase, if you pursue happiness you'll never

find it.

C. P. Snow

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's

course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy'

would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

Carl Jung

The richness I achieve comes from Nature, the source of my inspiration.

Claude Monet

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is thespiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time.

Edith Wharton

Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.

Edward de Bono

The truest greatness lies in being kind, the truest wisdom in a happy mind.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy.


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Eric Hoffer

The truth which has made us free will in the end make us glad also.

Felix Adler

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happyto hear the phone is for you.

Fran Leibowitz

The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure.

Francoise de Motteville

Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the

thrill of creative effort.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

George Burns

There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

George Sand

The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering. And happiness

mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mentalattitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy.

H.H. the Dalai Lama

When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and

cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.

H.H. the Dalai Lama

Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result

of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not,

there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. Forthis reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our

relationships with others.

H.H. the Dalai Lama


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If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice

compassion.

H.H. the Dalai Lama

Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see andtouch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and

feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.

Helen Keller

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closeddoor that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

Helen Keller

Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attainedthrough self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.

Helen Keller

That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.

Henry David Thoreau

The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on

him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not

friendship divine in this?

Henry David Thoreau

All seasons are beautiful for the person who carries happiness within.

Horace Friess

Here we are the way politics ought to be in America; the politics of happiness, the politics

of purpose and the politics of joy.

Hubert H. Humphrey

Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.

James M. Barrie

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.


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James Oppenheim

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

John Barrymore

I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure.

John D. Rockefeller

The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.

John Milton

Happiness lies in making others happy, in forsaking self-interest to bring joy to others.

Paramahansa Yogananda

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty an' wealth have both failed.

Kin Hubbard

What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.

Leo Buscaglia

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

Ludwig Wittgenstein

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply

uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our

discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different waysor truer answers.

M. Scott Peck

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who

make our souls blossom.

Marcel Proust

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis.

Margaret Bonnano


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Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.

Mark Twain

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.

Mark Twain

Happiness is a Swedish sunset -- it is there for all, but most of us look the other way andlose it.

Mark Twain

The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our

possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people.

Mark Twain

The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.

Martha Washington

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

Mohandas K. Gandhi

Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if

you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we

make a life by what we give.

Norman MacEwan

The world has to learn that the actual pleasure derived from material things is of rather low

quality on the whole and less even in quantity than it looks to those who have not tried it.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Growth itself contains the germ of happiness.

Pearl S. Buck


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There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life --

happiness, freedom, and peace of mind -- are always attained by giving them to someone

else.

Peyton Conway March

To fill the hour -- that is happiness.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle

dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plaguesthem. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.

Ramona L. Anderson

Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Robert Heinlein

There is no duty we so underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow

anonymous benefits upon the world.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness.

Sophocles

Independence is happiness.

Susan B. Anthony

Happiness, it seems to me, consists of two things: first, in being where you belong, andsecond -- and best -- in comfortably going through everyday life, that is, having had a good

night's sleep and not being hurt by new shoes.

Theodor Fontane

Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the

source of your joy.

Thich Nhat Hanh

The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the

bosom of my family.


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Thomas Jefferson

But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a

benevolent arrangement of things, the greater part of life is sunshine.

Thomas Jefferson

If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony,

educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden. He will not be searching for

happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator.

W. Beran Wolfe

That is happiness; to be dissolved into something completely great.

Strategy Statement:

The interviewer wants to know more about your managerial philosophies

with regards to motivation strategies and your ability to enable others.

The topic of motivation is hard to cover in simple interview answer and

there are hundreds of book written on the subject and motivational theories

are the main topic to the study of industrialorganizational psychology. The

key things to know is that motivation is said to be intrinsic or extrinsic.

Intrinsic motivation is a motivation that is driven by an interest or enjoyment

in the work, while extrinsic motivation comes from outside of the individual.

Common extrinsic motivations are rewards like money or threat of

punishment. Based on the two types of motivators Frederick Herzberg's

developed famous two-factor theory which distinguishes between:

- Motivators such as interesting work, recognition and responsibility) which

give positive satisfaction

- Hygiene factors such as salary or benefits. Such factors despite commonbelieve do not motivate if present, but, if absent, result in dissatisfaction.

The name Hygiene factors is used because, similar to hygiene, the presence

will not make you healthier, but absence will cause health degradation.

While successful managers employ both types of motivations to ensure


13/22

highest productivity of the team in was proven that significant portion of

human behavior is energized and directed by unconscious motives i.e.

intrinsically motivated. Professor Steven Reiss performed a serious of

studies involving more than 6,000 people which resulted in 16 factors theory

- 16 basic desires that guide nearly all human behavior.

The list includes such desires as

Power,

Independence,

Curiosity,

Family,

Vengeance,

Status and others.

"These desires are what drive our everyday actions and make us who we are,"Reiss said. "What makes individuals unique is the combination and ranking ofthese desires. Every person has a unique desire profile."

We recommend reading his book The 16 Basic Desires That Guide Us for

more information.

Sample interview question response:

My most strong believe is that my team members should be highly

motivated to give their best and realize their full potential. As first line

manager I cannot control salary and benefits our company provides but I can

ensure the work-live balance is in place and work conditions are above

industry standards to address extrinsic motivators.

Form the other side; I pay a lot of attention to intrinsic motivators. I take

care in assigning tasks, making sure that I have right person for the job.

When communicating my expectations to employees, I make sure they

understand exactly why they were selected for a job. If I can connect people

and tasks based on their background, education, and experience, I can feelconfident that they are properly motivated and will give the project their all.

"What is your greatest strength?" is one of the easier interview questions you'll be asked.When you are asked questions about your strengths, it's important to discuss attributes that


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will qualify you for the job. The best way to respond is to describe the skills and experience

that directly correlate with the job you are applying for.

Sample Answers

When I'm working on a project, I don't want just to meet deadlines. Rather, I preferto complete the project well ahead of schedule.

I have exceeded my sales goals every quarter and I've earned a bonus each year

since I started with my current employer.

My time management skills are excellent and I'm organized, efficient, and take

pride in excelling at my work.

I pride myself on my customer service skills and my ability to resolve what couldbe difficult situations.

How Will Your Greatest Strength Help You Perform?

As a follow up to being asked about your greatest strengths, you may be asked about how

your greatest strength helped your performance on the job. When you respond, relate yourstrengths to both the job description and your ability to perform at work. Here are sample

answers.

Questions About Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Review more interview questions related to your strengths, weaknesses, challenges, andaccomplishments, along with examples of answers.

When I'm working on a project, I don't want just to meet deadlines. Rather, I prefer

to complete the project well ahead of schedule.

I have exceeded my sales goals every quarter and I've earned a bonus each year

since I started with my current employer. My time management skills are excellent and I'm organized, efficient, and take

pride in excelling at my work.

I pride myself on my customer service skills and my ability to resolve what could

be difficult situations.

How Will Your Greatest Strength Help You Perform?

As a follow up to being asked about your greatest strengths, you may be asked about howyour greatest strength helped your performance on the job. When you respond, relate your

strengths to both the job description and your ability to perform at work. Here are sample

answers.

Questions About Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Review more interview questions related to your strengths, weaknesses, challenges, and

accomplishments, along with examples of answers.

The question

What is your greatest strength?
http://jobsearch.about.com/od/topinterviewanswers/qt/strength-performance.htmhttp://jobsearch.about.com/od/interviewquestionsanswers/a/strenght-weakness-interview.htmhttp://jobsearch.about.com/od/topinterviewanswers/qt/strength-performance.htmhttp://jobsearch.about.com/od/interviewquestionsanswers/a/strenght-weakness-interview.htmhttp://jobsearch.about.com/od/interviewquestionsanswers/a/strenght-weakness-interview.htmhttp://jobsearch.about.com/od/topinterviewanswers/qt/strength-performance.htmhttp://jobsearch.about.com/od/interviewquestionsanswers/a/strenght-weakness-interview.htmhttp://jobsearch.about.com/od/topinterviewanswers/qt/strength-performance.htm


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What are your strengths?

Tell me the top three things you are best at.

What they are looking for

With this question the interviewer is seeking to discover both your actual strengths and alsowhat you believe to be your strengths.

When they talk about strengths, they may be seeking any combination of knowledge, skills

and personal attributes.

They may also be checking what they think are your strengths with what you think. If youtell of strengths without giving evidence, then if they think they are not strengths. On the

other hand, this is an opportunity to change minds.

How to answer

Whilst this is not a time to be shy, you should generally avoid excessive bragging. A neatway of answering this without appearing arrogant is to tell them in terms of what other

people have told you.

I have been told several times that I am very good at influencing senior managers to get

resources we need for projects.

At my last personal review, my manager told me that my written work is amongst the best

in the company.

Where you can, link the strength to actual things you have done and the value that you have

created. You can thus link strengths to successes.

I have been consistently successful at delivering projects on time. I believe that a keyelement of this is my attention to detail.

You can also focus on the prioritizing element of the question, talking about 'greatest'. In

doing, so, of course, you can also talk about other strengths you have.

I have consistently out-sold the national sales benchmark and led my team to thePresident's award five times, but I think that my greatest strength is that I care about my

customers. This is something that I believe you cannot fake and which is at the root of

consistent success.

Some of the strengths that you might show include determination, pride in a job well done,teamwork, leadership, expert knowledge, working to deadlines, etc.


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5, Youth are back bone to the nation.They can change the future of the society with their

well being and courageous behavior. They are here to show us that which we have not been

willing to look at within ourselves.Unfortunately today we find the youth those who aremore interested in other places witch are not useful to them as well as nation.They chooses

to spend their days doing drugs and playing video games. they spends their nights partying

and living it up, so to speak.More and more young men of this age group are sitting athome in front of their televisions playing games all day instead of bettering themselves or

going to work. They have no vision and if they do have dreams they do not have the drive

to make any attempt at achieving them.

We must get control of this. We must motivate our youth. We must teach responsibility andgoal setting. I fear if we do not we will soon be supporting an entire generation of homeless

and needlessly on welfare families. Things have to change, with our schools, with the older

generation being good role models, with the older generation being mentors, and with theyouth who are right now doing nothing

Those of you are in age of teen, You have a choice. You can allow yourselves to stay yourcourse and do nothing or you can rise above what the cynics around you expect and go get

educated or get jobs. Show the older generation they are wrong about you. Let them knowyou have intelligence and skills. Show yourself what you are made of. You might be

surprised at how proud of yourself you become with even the smallest of accomplishments.

I can tell you that nothing can happen if you do not try, bad or good. You will not becomerich overnight either way but at least if you make an effort, then you have begun your

journey to your dreams..

8, Summer is always a high season of the domestic tourism but the travel companies oftenlack of the tourist guides. When the number of visitors register the tours increases, the tourcompanies do not barely joy, they worries about the supply of tour guides.

Apart from the available tour guide sources, in the high season of domestic travel, the tourcompanyies often use collaborators who are free tour guides. However, the free tour guides donnot link to the discipline and documents of the companies so the companies have difficulies inchoosing the trust tour guides. In many travel companies, the number of official tour guides andcollaborators are not enough to meet the needs of the guests so they have to use the touroperators, leaders of the offices such as in an Central tourist Operations Center of travel companymobilized to the Executive Board of the center, Assistant Director to participate in doing the tourguides when the number of guests registered Da Nang tour increases.Because of lacking the tour guides, many companies has recruited practiced students in thetourism training schools but they have not had the skills so they just assises, learn from the "adept"

tour guides rather than directly involved. The characters of Vietnamese tour guides has wideknowledge, professional service. They also are good animators, know how to organize games andcreate the fun atmosphere during the trip. So they must accumulate experienced.Because of the difficulties in the shortage of the tour guides, many big tourism companies have tokeep the prestige so they refuse to take the tours. Besides that, many travel companies still use thetour guides who have no tour guide card. This not only violates the Law on Tourism but also affectsthe quality of the tour caused discredit of the tourism industry.To overcome this situation, create the favorable conditions for the training and granting the tourguide certification, VNAT has authorized for 11 training centers in the country to hold training thetour guides and foreign language test:


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1. University of Social Sciences Humanities, Hanoi National University2. Hanoi Open University3. Vocational College of Tourism of Hai Phong4. Tourism Saigon Private Vocational Intermediate School5. Dalat University6. University of Economics Da Nang University7. Hue Tourism College8. Van Hien People-founded University, Ho Chi Minh City9. Eastern Asia University10. College of Arts and Culture and Tourism of Ha Long11. Hue University (Faculty of Tourism)Recently, VNAT has been authorized Hanoi Open University to hold two public inspection andcertification of professional tour guide for those wishing to apply for, renew tour guide cards in theNorth. The first stage was implemented in mid June 2010. The secoond stage is expected to begindeployment on August 15, 2010.

15,Strategic Statement: The interviewer is not interested in a specific situation, but inyour managerial strategies.

Sample Response: Conflict is often rooted in mis-communication. If the conflict is team-wide, than efforts need to be made to clarify goals and expectations to the team-as-a-whole.

The idea of singling-out an individual member in hopes of developing some sort of allianceonly works on bad reality television. I always lead with the assumption that I have not

been as clear as I need to be.

14) What Sort of Business Would YOu

Open....................................

I have opend several business over the last 30 years.

The first thing is to open a type of business that compliments some sort of skill that you

have....

.

The second type would be something that youd want to do on a daily basis

The third sort--is one that you feel may make you rich.


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If you want to make money in a few years--buy up real estate now.. With the forclosures

happening..If you have money already..this will be a hot and changing field in a few

years---so you'll need to make sure your buying low---can afford to pay the costs over saythree to four years......and can handle many or all of the selling aspects by the time you get

ready to un-load so that the profit goes to you !

If you want a business thats something you'd enjoy doing on a daily basis--think aboutwhat you'd enjopy doing.......In my case...I'm not looking to make millions anymore...I just

want some additional monies coming in so that I can enjoy things...so I am thinking about a

coffee shop--or candy shop...but I do not want it in a high end shopping mall where therents and percentages will suck up most of the profits....So I am keeping my eyes open

--until I find the right selling place.

If you are from a lower economical situation and do not have the funds to pay the rent and

other expenses...then you need to be creative. You may want to take up crocheting orknitting to make hats and gloves to re-sell....Maybe rent a table at one of the Holiday

Fairs..or art shows...If you are in another country...I've seen where people have started

small business that weave or grind things for others. Jewelry making especiallyBEADING is another wide open business.

My feeling is that no matter what---Find something that you will enjoy doing and talking

about on a daily schedule.

11 ) I think its pretty safe to say that weve all had some experience dealing with difficultpeople. You know the onesprone to outbursts, inconsiderate of others feelings, rude,

negative or just plain mean as hell.

We cant always avoid encounters with difficult people, but we can determine how we deal

with their difficult behavior. So, I ask that you think back to the last time someone

degraded, snubbed, disregarded, ridiculed, or snapped at you without provocation. I dontmean a situation where you were involved in an argument. I want you to think of a time

when someone unfairly decided to take their problems or issues out on you. Now reflect for

a while on the way you responded. And Ill share with you my personal story of dealingwith a difficult persons difficult behavior.

A Difficult Situation


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Just last week, I picked up a friend who was in the middle of a crisis. He needed

emergency dental care, so I dropped what I was doing and drove to his rescue as fast as I

could. Unfortunately, he was in intense pain and he was ready to take his frustration out onwhoever was in sight. Lucky me!

He could barely talk when I made it to him, so I called around and quickly found an oralsurgeon who could see him within 15 minutes. I felt relieved as we jumped into the car,

but I had no idea what awaited me. Im in pain you know, my friend said in the mostcondescending tone possible. I know. Well be there soon. Im driving 85 miles per

hour, I responded. Well drive 95, he snarled.

Scared out of my mind, I drove even faster, slowing only to maneuver around other carsthat were in my path. I switched lanes as possible, but every time I slowed down for a

millisecond, I heard this hateful, belligerent voice taunting me. Are you having a problem

understanding that Im in pain? What is wrong with you? What is your f*****g problem?

No matter how fast I wenthe ridiculed me for not going faster. No matter how many carsI swerved around, I didnt swerve enough for him. In the midst of his temper tantrum, my

friend seemed to use every profane word and demeaning comment known to man. On and

on he went, mercilessly spewing vindictive statements as if I were trying to do something

other than help him. Ill remember this if you ever need my help, he threatened. His tonewas brutal and he was absolutely relentless as he stared me down in the most intimidating

manner possible. It was as if I had a madman in the passenger seat. Your fear issues are

stupidly causing me grief and pain. Drive dammit.

Surviving Difficult Behavior

Despite all of my personal development work, it was a major challenge to handle thisdifficult situation (and this very difficult person) in a way that I could be proud of. But I

did. During the major part of this rant-and-race event, I only opened my mouth to say afew words: Im doing my best.

And I did do my best. I did my best to tune out the insanely difficult person sitting in my

passenger seat and to focus on the goal at hand. I managed to get my friend to his

destination within 15 short minutes, though it felt more like an eternity.

Not Being Difficult With Difficult People

More than anything, this situation helped me realize just how much I have grown as a

person. Why? Well, lets just say that there was a time in my life when I wouldve cracked

(or snapped) under that type of pressure.

There was a time when I wouldve met his snarling, despicable behavior with the same or

worse. In fact, just a few short years ago, that explosive outburst wouldve gotten Mr.

Difficult thrown out of my car in the middle of the highway with absolutely no regard for


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his condition. Lucky for him, Ive learned a bit about dealing with difficult people in

situations that could possibly spiral out of control.

I learned that fighting fire with fire makes a bigger fire and causes burns that may neverheal. If I had aimed to make him feel as inadequate about his handling of the situation as

he aimed to make me feel, what would be the benefit in it? I wouldnt have been asfocused on driving, so we wouldve been more likely to miss the appointment or maybe

even have a car accident.

And what if Id been even dirtier than he waslike adding oil to the fire? What if Id

tossed his mean ass out on the side of the road? In addition to permanently ruining our

friendship and putting his health at further risk, I wouldve eventually felt guilty andashamed of my behavior. Such malice is not in alignment with who I am or what I stand

for, therefore I wouldve accumulated unnecessary emotional debt.

Maintaining Self Respect with Difficult People

So, heres what happened instead. I maintained my calm demeanor, got help for my friend,accepted his apology, continued to help him for as long as he needed me after the

procedure, and (most importantly) walked away with my self respect intact.

Now, I want to make sure Im 100% clear about the message that I intend to send with this

article. No matter how much of a good person you are or how calm you can be in difficultsituations, there is no reason to subject yourself to ill-treatment. I would never suggest that

anyone become a pushover or accept abuse.

Instead, the message that I hope youll take from this is to always remember who you are at

the coreeven when faced with difficult people or situations. Why stoop to someoneelses level when you can lead them upwards by your example?

When you act outside of your character, you give up self control, which indicates weakness

rather than strength. It takes a strong person to stand firm, uncompromised, and true to

self. But all it takes to give in to foolishness is a fool.

The Finale with Mr. Difficult

Wondering about the aftermath of this incident and the current state of my friendship with

Mr. Difficult? Well, further acts of disregard led me to a final display of courage: lettinggo. The association isnt completely dead, but appropriate distance has been established inan amicable way.

You see, we are all responsible for making our best life choices; and sometimes that means

reevaluating friendships and saying No More to difficult people.
http://blog.self-improvement-saga.com/2010/03/2009/09/friend-friendship/http://blog.self-improvement-saga.com/2010/03/2009/09/friend-friendship/


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4) indergarten teachers have a special challenge. Not only are they responsible for theeducational foundation of their students; they also have to help children acclimate to a

cooperative learning environment. This is new to many kindergarteners who did not attendpreschool or have much experience with peers. The teacher, therefore, should strive to

maintain an atmosphere conducive to learning, sharing and growing together in which

children learn to respect others and be accountable for their actions.

Classroom Expectations

Kindergarten teachers do not need an exhaustive list of classroom rules which kidsmay not remember, especially a long list of "do's" and "dont's." Instead, the teacher

should come up with three to five expectations that focus on several areas of

behavior. She needs to state them positively so the students will understand that

they are responsible for their own behavior. For example, expectations might state,

"We will be quiet while others speak" or "We will use kind words and say I'msorry." Teachers should read the list to the class often and have students repeat

them.

Constructive Discipline

Kindergarten teachers will have to use discipline to teach children about acceptable

behavior and consequences for non-compliance. These consequences should be

reflective. Children need to know why they are being corrected. The bestconsequences are choices, not punishments. For example, if a child refuses to

complete his work, the teacher presents him with a choice of missing recess to

finish the work or completing it while others are having afternoon snack.Hopefully, the child will realize that the consequence for not finishing work is the

loss of free or fun time.

Motivating Atmosphere

Positive consequences encourage children to continue displaying correct behavior.

Kindergarten teachers can use a variety of daily motivators throughout the day to

maintain a pleasant classroom atmosphere. During instruction, she will praise

students' cooperation and insightful comments. While children are working at theirdesks, the teacher can place stickers on written work that shows improvement. If a

student displays improved behavior, the teacher should publicly praise him and get

the class to give him a sign of approval like a "quiet clap."

Meaningful Rewards


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Teachers need to utilize rewards carefully. If every positive behavior merits a

reward, then they lose their intrinsic value. If rewards are no longer considered

special, then the motivation to work for them is decreased. Also, students need tolearn the importance of behaving appropriately even when no reward is offered.

Teachers can make rewards special by designating special times for them. For

example, if a student gets a smiley face or a thumbs-up sign on their daily behaviorchart every day for a month, then they will receive a gift out of the class treasure

box or have a special treat like ice cream or popcorn.

the interviewer wants to know more about your managerial philosophies with regards to motivation...

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