By Father Ron Rolheiser, OMINCC columnist

Several years ago, a friend sharedthis story with me: Raised a RomanCatholic and essentially faithful ingoing to church and in trying to livean honest moral life, he found him-self, in his mid-forties, plagued bydoubts, unable to pray, and unable(when he was honest with himself)to even believe in the existence ofGod.

Sit in humility and silencelong enough so that you can begin to hear someone

else, not yourself.

Anxious about this and lookingfor spiritual guidance, he went tosee a Jesuit priest who had a reputa-tion as a spiritual director. He anticipated the usual counsel

about dark nights of the soul andhow these are given to us to purifyour faith and, already familiar withthat literature, he wasn't expectingmuch. Certainly he wasn't expecting the

advice he received. His Jesuit guide didn't try to en-

gage him in any deep theological re-flections on doubt and dark nightsof faith.Instead, like Elisha to Naaman, the

Syrian leper, he gave my friend acounsel that sounded so simplisticthat it triggered irritation ratherthan hope: The Jesuit simply told him: Make

a promise to yourself to sit in silentprayer for a half an hour a day forthe next six months. I promise youthat if you are faithful to that youwill, by that time, recover yoursense of God.My friend, beyond being upset

with what he felt was an over-sim-plistic bit of advice, protested thatthe biggest part of his problem wasprecisely that he couldn't pray, thathe couldn't talk to a God whom hedidn't believe existed: How can Ipray when I no longer believe thatthere is a God?The Jesuit persisted: "Just do it!

Show up and sit in silent prayer for

half an hour a day, even if you feellike you are talking to a wall. It's theonly practical advice I can give you."Despite his skepticism, my friend

took the Jesuit's advice and faith-fully sat in silent prayer for half anhour a day for six months and, bythe end of that time, his sense ofGod had returned, as had his senseof prayer.This story, I believe, highlights

something important: Our sense ofGod's existence is very much linkedto fidelity to prayer. However, and this is the catch-22,

it is hard to sustain a life of prayerprecisely because our sense of Godis often weak. Simply put, it is not easy to pray.

We have easy words about prayer,but we struggle to sustain, longterm, real prayer in our lives.Prayer is easy only for beginners

and for those who are alreadysaints. During all the long years inbetween, it is difficult. Why? Because prayer has the same

inner dynamics as love and love issweet only in its initial stage, whenwe first fall in love, and again itsfinal, mature stage. In between, love is hard work,

dogged fidelity, and needs willfulcommitment beyond what is nor-mally provided by our emotionsand our imagination. Prayer works in the same way. Ini-

tially when we first begin to pray,like someone young and in love, wetend to have a period of fervor, ofpassion, a time when our emotionsand our imaginations help give us asense that God exists and that Godhears our prayers.

But as we grow deeper and moremature in our relationship to God,just as in a relationship to someonewe love, reality begins to dispel anillusion. It's not that we become dis-illusioned with God, but rather thatwe come to realize that so many ofthe warm thoughts and feelings webelieved were about God were reallyabout ourselves. Disillusionment is a good thing.

It's the dispelling of an illusion.What we thought was prayer waspartly a spell of enchantment aboutourselves. When that disillusionment sets in,

and this a maturing moment in ourlives, it is easy to believe that wewere deluded about the other, theperson we had fallen in love with or,in the case of prayer, God. The easy response then is to back

away, to quit, to see the whole thingas having been an illusion, a falsestart. In the spiritual life, that's usu-ally when we stop praying.But it the opposite is called for.

What we need to do then is to showup, just as we did before, minus thewarm thoughts and feelings, bored,uncertain, and stripped of our en-chantment about ourselves. The deeper we go in relationships

and in prayer, the more unsure ofourselves we become, and this isthe beginning of maturity: It's when I say, I don't know how

to love and I don't know how topray, that I first begin to understandwhat love and prayer actually are.Hence, there is no better advice

than that given by this Jesuit priestto my friend who thought himselfan atheist: Just show up! Sit in hu-mility and silence long enough sothat you can begin to hear someoneelse, not yourself.

---Oblate Father Ron Rolheiser, the-

ologian, teacher, and award-winningauthor, is President of the OblateSchool of Theology in San Antonio,TX. He can be contacted through hiswebsite www.ronrolheiser.com.

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C16 Back pew

THE HOLY LONGING

CNS PHOTO BY NANCY WIECHECYoung pilgrims kneel in prayer inside St. Peter's Basilica in Vatican City .

Maturity in Relationships and PrayerJUST SHOW UP AND PRAY! CATHOLIC

NORTH COUNTRYNORTH COUNTRYThe Diocese of Ogdensburg Volume 65, Number 29

DEC. 8, 2010

INSIDETHIS ISSUEPope opens Adventwith prayer forlife l PAGE 11

Facing the‘marriagegap’ l PAGE 12

A NIGHT OFCELEBRATION

Families: Become WhatYou Are...

News aboutReligious

For SpecialReligious Eduction

CREATIVE ADVENT ADVENTURES

RETIRED RELIGIOUS COLLECTION: Share in the Care this weekend... pages 7-10

True faith leads to peace

MORE PHOTOS, PAGE 5

PHOTO BY ANN CHARLEBOISSt. Joseph Sister Diane Marie Ul-samer, coordinator of the Special Re-ligious Education Program inWatertown welcomes guest sto theSpecial Religious Education Thanks-giving Program held Nov. 23 at theNorth Side Improvement League, Wa-tertown. Bishop LaValley served asguest speaker for the evening.Sixth grade students at St. Marguerite D’Youville Academy in Ogdensburg help kindergarten students make Advent wreaths.

Pictured above are kindergarten student, Jordan Amo; sixth grade students, Lorraine Hollis and Haley Whitmarsh; and kinder-garten student, Emily Richter.

Sr. Geraldine Canale celebrates 60

years as Filippini; Sr. Ruth Sequin

leaves diocese after decades of service

The second installment ina four-part series featuringBishop Terry LaValley’s mes-sage to families is featuredthis week. The articles areadapted from his Oct. 30presentation at the FamilyLife Forum in Carthage.This week, Bishop LaValley

continues his reflections onfamilies as “communities oflove.”The series will continue in

the Dec. 15 issue with hiswords on families as “com-munities of holiness” andconclude Dec. 22 with “fami-lies - communities to treas-ure.”

FULL STORY, PAGE 3

FULL STORY, PAGE 4

VATICAN CITY (CNS) -- True faithcontributes to peace in theworld because it sees God asa model of love and forgive-ness, Pope Benedict XVI said.“To know God's true nature

is a real way to ensure peace.A God who is not seen as asource of forgiveness couldnever be a light on the path

toward peace," the pope saidDec. 3 during a meeting withmembers of the InternationalTheological Commission.Commission members,

who advise the Congregationfor the Doctrine of the Faith,discussed three topics attheir five-day meeting: theprinciples, meaning and

methods of theology; beliefin one God and its implica-tions for relations amongJews, Christians and Mus-lims; and ways to better inte-grate Catholic social teachinginto Catholic teaching in gen-eral. Pope Benedict said that for

Catholics, the three themes

have a common root: God'slove for his creatures. Hesaid theology reflects a de-sire to know more about aloving God. True theology uses the es-

sential tool of intelligence,combined with prayer and asense of church communion,he said.

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C news 15

OBITUARIESAlexandria Bay – Robert E. Giltz, 80; Fu-neral Services Nov. 27, 2010 at St. Cyril’sChurch; burial in St. Mary’s Cemetery, De-witt.

Altona – Geraldine G. “Geri” LaBarge, 80;Funeral Services Dec. 2, 2010 at Holy An-gels Church; burial in St. Edmund’s Ceme-tery, Ellenburg.

Bloomingdale – Katherine K. (King) Tol-hurst, 73; Funeral Services Nov.26, 2010at St. Paul’s Church; burial in St. Bernard’sCemetery.

Carthage – Lillian Zeler Loomis, 82; Fu-neral Services Nov. 30, 2010 at Bossuot-Lundy Funeral Home, Inc.; burial inSanford Corners Cemetery, Calcium.

Churubusco – John Thomas Matthews,79; Funeral Services Dec. 3, 2010 at Im-maculate Heart of Mary Church; burial inImmaculate Heart Cemetery.

Colton – Larry P. Demo, 77; Funeral Serv-ices Nov. 27, 2010 at St. Patrick’s Church;burial in St. Patrick’s Cemetery.

Copenhagen – Lyle E. Benware, 76; Fu-neral Services Dec. 1, 2010 at Bossuot-Lundy Funeral Home, Inc.; burial in St.Rita’s Cemetery.

Crown Point – Germain (Jim) H. St.Pierre, 87; Funeral Services Dec. 3, 2010at Sacred Heart Church; burial in SacredHeart Cemetery.

Deferiet – Irene K. (Kereke) DeLosh, 86;Funeral Services Nov. 29, 2010 at St. Rita’sCatholic Church; burial in New St. JamesCemetery, Carthage.

Glenfield – Gilbert M. Thisse, 95; FuneralServices Nov. 27, 2010 at St. Mary’sCatholic Church; burial in MartinsburgCemetery.

Hogansburg – John J. Gray Sr., 85; Fu-neral Services Nov. 27, 2010 at St.Patrick’s Church; burial in St. Patrick’sCemetery.

Lake Placid – Philip H. Albright; FuneralServices Dec. 3, 2010 at St. AgnesChurch; burial in St. Agnes Cemetery.

Lake Placid –Kristy M. (Wood) Isham, 41;Funeral Services Dec. 1, 2010 at M.B.Clark Inc. Funeral Home.

Long Lake – Timothy H. Bissell, 38; Fu-neral Dec. 4, 2010 at St. Henry’s Church;burial in Long Lake Cemetery.

Lowville- Stephanie M. (Bellinger)Crouse, 32; Funeral Servuices Dec. 3, 2010at Iseneker Funeral Home, Inc.; burial inWest Lowville Rural Cemetery.

Lowville- Florence S. (Micek) Matula, 80;Funeral Services at Iseneker FuneralHome, Inc.; burial in Lowville RuralCemetery.

Massena – Joseph A. Greco, 77; FuneralServices Dec. 1, 2010 at St. Mary’s Church;burial in Calvary Cemetery.

Massena – Lorraine E. (Payette) LeRoux,90; Funeral Services Dec. 2, 2010 at Sa-cred Heart Church; burial in Notre DameCemetery, Cornwall, Ontario.

Massena – Anne L. (Lazarchuck)Kennedy, 94; Funeral Services Nov. 29,2010 at St. Mary’s Church; burial in Cal-vary Cemetery.

Massena – Clare D. (Hodge) Podgurski,83; Funeral Dec. 4, 2010 at St. Mary’sChurch; burial in Calvary Cemetery.

Massena – John D. Warriner, 44; FuneralServices Dec. 1, 2010 at St. Mary’s Church;burial in Calvary Cemetery.

Mineville – Laura B. (Rule) Granger, 82;Funeral Services Nov. 27, 2010 at AllSaints Church; burial in Putnam Ceme-tery.

Morrisonville – Michael S. Kelley, 44; Fu-neral Services Dec. 1, 2010 at St. Alexan-der’s Church; burial in St. Alexander’sCemetery.

Morrisonville – James Kenneth Luck, 83;Funeral Services Nov. 30, 2010 at St.Alexander’s Church; burial in parishcemetery.

Morrisonville – Jean M. (DuBray) Pulsifer,44; Funeral Services Nov. 29, 2010 at St.Alexander’s Church; burial in St. Alexan-der’s Cemetery.

Ogdensburg – Harold W. “Hi” Amo, 89;Funeral Services Dec. 1, 2010 at NotreDame Church; burial in Notre DameCemetery.

Ogdensburg – Karen A. (LaLonde)LaPlatney, 65; Funeral Services Nov. 29,2010 at Frary Funeral Home.

Ogdensburg – Barbara (Alton) Mont-petit, 75; Funeral Services Nov. 29, 2010at Frary Funeral Home; burial in Ogdens-burgh Cemetery.

Plattsburgh – Donald J. Bouyea, 86; Fu-neral Nov. 27, 2010 at St. Peter’s Church;burial in St. Peter’s Cemetery.

Plattsburgh – Mark E. Bouyea, 60; Fu-neral Services Dec. 3, 2010 at St. Peter’sChurch; burial in St. Peter’s Cemetery.

Plattsburgh – Marguerite Long Harran,83; Funeral Services Nov. 29, 2010 at St.John’s Church; burial in WhisperingMaples Mausoleum.

Port Henry – Benjamin Fred Winters, 85;Funeral Dec. 4, 2010 at St. Patrick’sChurch; burial in Moriah Cemetery.

Redford – Fred Reyell, 73; Funeral Serv-ices Dec. 2, 2010 at Church of the As-sumption; burial in parish cemetery.

Rouses Point – Gordon P. Duffy, 94; Fu-neral Services Nov. 27, 2010 at St.Patrick’s Church; burial in St. Patrick’sCemetery.

Saranac Lake – Valeita (Ohmann) Allen,64; Funeral Services Dec. 3, 2010 at St.Bernard’s Church; burial in St. Bernard’sCemetery.

Ticonderoga – Inza M. (Wells) Jordon, 85;Funeral Services Dec. 4, 2010 at St. Mary’sCatholic Church; burial in Old HagueCemetery.

Waddington – Timothy L. Arquiett, 37;Funeral Nov. 27, 2010 at St. Mary’sChurch; burial in St. Mary’s Cemetery.

Watertown - Mary (Fontana) Borello, 98;Funeral Services Dec. 1, 2010 at St. An-thony’s Church; burial in GlenwoodCemetery.

Watertown– Paul F. Moran, 80; FuneralDec. 3, 2010 at Our Lady of the SacredHeart; burial in Glenwood Cemetery.

Watertown– Marilyn I. (Nichols) Morgia,83; Funeral Services Dec. 3, 2010 at St.Anthony’s Church; burial in GlenwoodCemetery.

The Society For

The Propagation Of The FaithSr. Mary Ellen Brett, SSJ, Director

622 Washington St., Ogdensburg, NY 13669(315) 393-2920; fax (315) 394-7401mbrett@dioogdensburg.org

By Sister Cindy SullivanMassena native, Missionary in Ecuador

This has been quite a year for us here at the Working BoysCenter – A Family of Families. Pat Parks, our Director, hasdeclared it “The Year of Padre”… and that it has been. Father Halligan celebrated his 80th birthday at a beauti-

ful celebration in Milwaukee. Many family, friends and vol-unteers came to help the Padre celebrate his dream ofhaving each day of the year sponsored by our generousfriends.In November of this year the Padre received and split the

top honors at the Opus Prize. This is a prize given annuallysince 2004. Madre Miguel and I were with the Padre for thefestivities in New York at Fordham University for theawards ceremony. Each year the Opus Prize chooses a Catholic University to

partner with them to sponsor the award. It is comparable tothe Nobel Prize but for Humanitarian and Faith-basedworks.The Working Boys Center was chosen from over 20 candi-

dates from around the globe. When the jurors narrowed itdown to two organizations, they could not decide, so forthe first time ever the top prize was split by two finalists. The money will help us get caught up in a tough year eco-

nomically and give us a month or two to sleep a bit easier!God has continued to work his miracles for us this year as

we celebrate our 46th Anniversary. Now the Working Boys Center is a buzz with decorating,

plans for the novenas, the rehearsals of the Christmas Na-tivity plays and the parties to welcome baby Jesus. On Christmas Day we will have First Communions in each

Center and a chicken dinner for all the families. We will spend these days of Advent pondering the miracle

of the season and the reason that Jesus came into ourWorld. We will also spend the season thanking God for hav-ing you and your families be a part of our little family offamilies. We all realize that we need each other to makesome sense out of this crazy world. We need the poor to need us, and together we can con-

tinue to change this world into a better place. Merry Christmas to you and all of your loved ones from

our family in Quito! May the baby Jesus bless you with a Happy New Year!

Visit: www.dioogdensburg.org/missionofficePlease remember “The Society for the Propagation of the Faith”

when writing or changing your Will.

Christmas greetings fromQuito, Ecuador

NORTHCOUNTRYCATHOLIC

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In this week’s North CountryCatholic we continue our focuson “family” with the second in-stallment of Bishop LaValley’smessage for Catholic families ofthe Diocese of Ogdensburg.This week, the bishop writes

more on families as communitiesof love. “Although it may strug-

gle at times, (a family)will strive to communi-cate effectively, lovedeeply, forgive fre-quently, and share its val-ues with one another,” hewrites. We encourage ourreaders to spend timewith Bishop LaValley’swords and take his timelymessage to heart.This week’s NCC also

offers a look beyond ourdomestic families to-wards the CatholicChurch as our family of faith.We are pleased to pay special

attention to our beloved religiousmen and women (pages 4, and 7through 10) and to our familymembers with special needs(page 5.) And, of course, we al-ways hold the priests of ourdiocesan family close to ourhearts. Today, we sadly bidfarewell to Father James Lamitiewhose funeral was held Nov. 29. To offer a tribute to the life and

ministry of this priest, we turnedto the man who knew him best -his brother and fellow priest, Fa-ther Bob Lamitie.Father Bob’s homily at the fu-

neral Mass give us a glimpse in-side the priest who served thepeople of the Diocese of Ogdens-burg ith exceptional devotion for57 years. Excerpts follow:

Rest in Peace, Father LamitieYour Excellency Bishop LaVal-

ley, my fellow priests, Jim's rela-tives and friends. I had bettermake this short - my brotherhated long sermons and speechesand if we were alone he wouldlean over to me and say “when isthis bag of wind going to stop?”He also had his own method tocut it short. He would fall asleepand snore.....There many calls in our life. We

are called to birth, we are calledto baptism, we are called to thesacraments and we are called todeath. My brother has experi-enced all of these callings.

Jim was also called to be apriest; in fact I think that he wasborn a priest. He was a good ex-ample of what a priest should be.He certainly lived what the read-ing of the Mass said today. He didwalk humbly with his God; Hehad deep compassion for every-one. He could never say no to

anyone in need.In these past days I have

heard from so many whotold me that they couldhave never made it with-out him. Like the Apostleshe was called to serve andserve he did.Jim took all the assign-

ments asked of him, nomatter what or how diffi-cult. He told the bishop atone of our meetings, allhe wanted is to make surethat the rectory had abathtub.

Jim was sick most of his life, infact there was a question whetherto ordain him or not. As itturned out he outlived most ofhis classmates. Yet never oncedid I hear my brother complainabout his health, which was oddsince he complained about every-thing else!Jim was a priest to the end. A

few days before his death, he wasin a deep sleep but all of a sud-den he sat up, looked at me andsaid we have to say Mass. And Isaid, do what? He said say “Mass.”I said, “We have nothing here tosay Mass”. But he answered, "ohyeah we have everything here. Ittook me some time to convincehim that we did not have to sayMass, and he fell back to sleep. On the day before he died, we

came into the room and askedhim how he was, and he said verygood. And I thought he wasgoing to do it again and go backhome. But then he said I feel terri-ble and I said - what? He said hefelt terrible that he could not sayMass for the people at WillRogers.Heavenly Father take this good

and faithful servant into yourarms. But remember that he musthave his meals on time; if youneed a fourth for bridge, he willbe there and if you play golf - youbetter count every stroke or hewill correct you on it.Well Jocko, have a good trip and

have rest and peace, you haveearned it.

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C2 Diocesan Life

MSGR. ROBERT L. LAWLERVice President

SR. JENNIFER VOTRAW, SSJSecretary-TreasurerMARY LOU KILIAN

Editor/General Manager

BISHOP TERRYR. LAVALLEYPresident

Emmanuel‘God With Us’ in a Family of Faith

By Sister Mary Eamon Lyng, SSJDirector of Evangelization

Emmanuel -“God with us” the Advent prayer that begins Matthew’s Gospelreminds us of Jesus’ assurance that He will always be with us until the end oftime. As we continue this Advent season and throughout the new LiturgicalChurch Year, the Sunday readings will focus on the Gospel of Matthew.

The whole Good News of Matthew is summarized at the beginning and theend of his Gospel. Matthew’s community had become disillusioned and dis-couraged. They had difficulty understanding Jesus’ mission that had beengiven to the disciples to “go out to the whole world and make new disciples”.

How could they do this when the temple in Jerusalem had been destroyedand their hopes and dreams had seemed to vanish?

Does it seem as if our hopes and dreams have vanished when parish familiesare struggling to understand God’s presence or when members of families’ areno longer active members of their parishes?

During this season of Advent, we have models of faith in Matthew’s Gospelwho help us understand the difficulties, tensions, and decisions that have to bemade in living as a family of faith.

hey are John the Baptist, Mary and Joseph. John the Baptist is the prophetwho prepares the way for the coming of Jesus. His bold and unflinching mes-sage was “Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand.” Joseph makes some verydifficult decisions for the well-being and safety of “the Child and Mary.” Mary’s“Yes” to the angel to become the mother of Jesus introduces us to her exampleof faithfulness to the day to day living of her call to discipleship.

How will our Advent be different this year? How can we “Emmanuel”—beGod’s presence to one another? Is there a way that you can reach out to yourbrothers and sisters who are not going to Church regularly?

Is there a “stranger” that is sitting next to you in church? Welcome them andintroduce yourself and your family. Matthew’s Gospel challenges us to reallyhear the message to repent, to be the presence of Christ to others, and to acceptthe challenge to be sent out to be “disciples in mission”.

As a family of faith, we have the assurance of Emmanuel—God with uswalking with us on the road to Bethlehem.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Our family of faith

Mary LouKilian

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C diocesan life 3

Editor’s note: This is thesecond in a four-part seriesfeaturing Bishop TerryLaValley’s message to fami-lies. The articles areadapted from his Oct. 30presentation at the FamilyLife Forum in Carthage.

----

PART TWO:Families are....

Communities of Love

For me, the image of allof us being on a pilgrimageto the Father is a powerfulone. By virtue of our bap-tism, we have entered intothe Divine Family. Jesus,our Lord and brother, hasshown us the way to theFather. So our task is tofollow Him. But, you and I do not fol-

low Him as isolated indi-viduals. No, we followJesus as fellow companionson the journey. We help each other get to

heaven as members of theone Body of Christ, as afamily of faith. Pope Benedict, in a recent

statement, told a groupthat “the road is the same,that of life, but the situa-tions that we pass throughon this route are differ-ent…We are one family ofbrothers and sisters.”Because Christians enter

into a covenant of lovewith Jesus Christ, we arecalled to act with a con-sciousness of Christ’s pres-ence in our family lives. A family striving to place

Christ at its center be-comes the most basicChristian community: a do-mestic Church. Although it may struggle

at times, it will strive tocommunicate effectively,love deeply, forgive fre-quently, and share its val-ues with one another. Itwill also be life giving:bringing children into theworld and rearing them re-

sponsibly; developing thepotential of all its mem-bers; handing on valuesand traditions. The Christian family will

respond to a call of servicein society and church bymodeling love, gen-erosity, kindness,and caring and byreaching out to oth-ers in need.We cannot reach

out to others, wecannot get beyondourselves, we can-not live together,love each other, andwork together with-out inviting thetransforming powerof Jesus Christ intoour daily life. Prayer increases the

strength and spiritual unityof the family, helping thefamily to partake of God’sown strength. Believe inthe power of prayer! Prayer is as essential to

our spiritual life as breath-ing is to our bodily life.Without prayer, we becomeincreasingly more uncon-scious of our personal fail-ures and more acutelyaware of another person’sfailures.The family has much to

hear from God and it hasmuch to say to God, so letus pray. No one is born with a

halo and no one lives withsomeone who owns a halo.We are born into this worldas sons and daughters ofAdam and Eve. We all needredemption if we are to liveand work together in love.Nowhere is this more ap-parent than in the intimatelife of husband and wife.The wholesomeness of

the family begins with thewholesomeness of thespousal relationship. With-out regular prayer and thefrequent reception of thesacraments, it is impossi-ble to develop this partner-ship of life and love that

defines marriage.The Second Vatican

Council reminds us thatsince the Creator of allthings has established theconjugal partnership as thebeginning and basis of

human society, thefamily is the firstand vital cell of so-ciety. The family has

organic links withsociety, since thefamily (mom anddad) is society’sfoundation andnourishes it con-tinually through itsrole of service tolife. It is from the fam-

ily that citizenscome to birth and it iswithin the family that theyfind the first school of thevirtues.From their earliest years,

children should be taught,according to the faith re-ceived in baptism, to knowGod, to worship Him and tolove their neighbor. Only by praying together

with their children can a fa-ther and mother, exercisingtheir royal priesthood, pen-etrate the innermostdepths of their children’shearts and leave an impres-sion that the future eventsof their lives will not beable to erase.Because the Eucharist de-

fines who we are and is soessential to our lives, it isimportant that parentsnever excuse themselves ortheir family lightly fromthe obligation to fulfill theSunday Mass obligation. But, look at it not so

much as an obligation, buta blessed opportunity.Keep Sunday holy, exceptfor those necessary dailychores. When children are

brought up in an atmos-phere of faith, prayer, andthe regular and worthy re-ception of the Sacraments,

they are brought up in anatmosphere that valueslove. There is an atmosphere

of faith, of give and take,and a great respect of otherpersons. They learn howto sacrifice. We are depriving our chil-

dren of a tremendous les-son in life if we do notenable them to learn sacri-fice. I don’t need to tell you

that family life is hecticand fast-paced. But if weremember that faith is theunderlying foundation offamily life, a solid threadthat is part of every aspectof life for ourselves andour families, then there isplenty of time for faith,right in the midst of all ofthe responsibilities, activi-ties and tasks at hand.

In fact, faith in Christ cangive all those other parts ofour lives new and greaterfocus. Faith must informour every decision.We do not walk the jour-

ney of faith as lonerangers. An extremely im-portant mission of the fam-ily today is that of livingout this intimate relation-ship of love between familymembers always linked tothe family of faith, theChurch. Look for opportunities to

become relational, con-nected, with your localparish. You cannot simplyleave your faith at the doorwhen you leave Mass eachweek.

--- In next week’s NCC: Families are.. Communi-

ties of Holiness.

FOLLOW ME

Family: Become What You Are

BishopTerry R.LaValley

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C14 around the diocese

PRAYER VIGILPlattsburgh – A prayer vigil will held thefirst Sunday of the winter months.Place: St. Peter’s ChapelTime: 1 p.m. to 2:30 p.m.Features: Helper's of Gods Precious In-

fants prayer vigil will be held. We maynot be able to save their lives, but canwe not plead on their behalf?

DAY OF REFLECTIONEllenburg Center – OLA House of Prayerto have an Advent Day of Reflection.Date: Dec. 11Time: 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.Features: Deacon Dennis Monty will join

us for an Advent retreat, encouraging usto reflect on Mary, the Eucharist, and thehope and promise of the season. Bringyour Bible and a journal. Lunch pro-vided. RSVP by Dec. 9 tooadirond@twcny.rr.com or call 518-594-3253. Donations appreciated.

40 DAYS FOR LIFE IN 2011Plattsburgh – Please mark your calen-dars for Spring 2011 40 days for life! AshWednesday, March 9 to Palm Sunday,April 17.

EUCHARISTIC ADORATIONPlattsburgh - Eucharistic Adoration isheld throughout the year every Wednes-day, Thursday, and Friday.Place: St John's Adoration Chapel,Time: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.Theme:“The adoration of the Lord in

the sacrament is also an education insensitizing our conscience . . . When theconscience becomes dulled, this lets inthe violence that lays waste the world”(Pope Benedict XVI). O Come let us AdoreHim—A Birthday gift for Jesus! Contact: 518-561-5083 or email us at

Sjohnsadoration@aol.com

PEACEFUL HOURWestport – St. Philip Neri CatholicChurch will be the site of a peaceful hourin preparation for Christmas.

Date: Dec. 19Time: 7 p.m.Features: Martha Gallagher, the Adiron-

dack Harper will present A Quiet Cele-bration. This beautiful program is acontemplative presentation with song,Scripture and spoken word. Price: Thanks to an unnamed benefac-

tor, there is no admission charge at St.Philip Neri although a free-will offeringmay be made.

WINTER’S GRACEBrushton - All are welcome to attend thefirst annual Christmas Contada entitledWinter’s Grace.Date: Dec . 12Time: 2 p.m.Place: St. Mary’s Church, Brushton.Features: The choir is made up of 37

voices from Brushton, Massena, Moira,Norwood, Potsdam, St. Regis Falls, SouthColton, and of different ages under thedirection of Ms. Christine Sullivan. Win-ter’s Grace tells the Christmas story usingmusic, Scripture. Prayers and poetry.Each draws together to represent

humankind’s spiritual need for renewaland redemption. Admission is free. Any-one wishing to bring a non-perishablefood item for the local food pantries isinvited to do so and can be left at anyentrance of the church.

SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL DINNEREvans Mills – There will be a spaghettiand meatball dinner to benefit the In-dian River Council 7471 Knights ofColumbus.Date: Dec. 11Time: 4 p.m.Place: St. Mary’s Parish CenterCost: Adults, $6; senior citizens, $5; chil-

dren under 12, $4; under 5, free

LIFERIGHT MEETINGWatertown - Liferight of Watertown willhold its monthly meetings on the thirdWednesday of the Month.Time: 4 p.m. Place: 312 Sherman St.Features: Liferight is a pro-life educa-

tional organization. The office hasvideos, books and educational materialswhich may be borrowed. Topicscovered: infanticide, assisted suicide, eu-thanasia and chastity.Contact: Phone 315-788-8480; website:

www.liferight.org

TO SHRINES OF FRANCEWatertown- Father Donald Robinson,is leading a pilgrimage to shrines inFranceDate: March 21-31, 2011

Cost: $2349 includes airfare, accommo-dations, and most mealsFeatures: Visit Lourdes, Nevers, Tours,

Loire Valley, Chartres, Mont St.Michel, Normandy, Caen, Lisieux, andParis.Contact: Call 782-1190.

HOLIDAY TOUR OF HOMESFort Drum – There will be a Holiday Tourof Home.Date: Dec. 12Time: 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.Place: Tour will begin at the Timbers

Community Center and end at LeRayMansion.Cost: $15 per person. Includes entry to

all home. Refreshments and snacks willbe served Features: On the tour will be 8 locations

including an apartment at the Timbers,homes in Richard Hills, the USO buildingand homes on LeRay Drive. Contact: For more information and tick-

ets contact Sonia Patton at 254-258-2850 or Teri-Gene Conlin 778-3978.

WINTER’S GRACENorwood - All are welcome to attend thefirst annual Christmas Contada entitledWinter’s Grace.Date: Dec . 12Time: 7 p.m. Place: St. Andrew’s ChurchFeatures: The choir is made up of 37

voices from Brushton, Massena, Moira,Norwood, Potsdam, St. Regis Falls, SouthColton, and of different ages under thedirection of Ms. Christine Sullivan. Win-ter’s Grace tells the Christmas story usingmusic, Scripture. Prayers and poetry.Each draws together to represent hu-mankind’s spiritual need for renewal andredemption. Admission is free. Anyonewishing to bring a non-perishable fooditem for the local food pantries is invitedto do so and can be left at any entranceof the church.

CRAFT FAIRGouverneur – St. James School to host aCraft Fair.Date: Dec. 11Time: 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.Features: Santa will visit at 1:30 p.m.

Items available will include: jewelry,woodcrafts, ceramics, stuffed animals,homemade dolls, leather goods, candles,knitted items, country crafts, Christmasornaments and decorations, baskets, etc.Paula Towne, local artist, will be doingportraits. Over 50 vendors will be there.

Lunch will be available. Price: Admission is a donation

CHRISTMAS PARTYOgdensburg – The Knights of ColumbusLadies Auxiliary will have their AnnualChristmas Party.Date: Dec. 12Time: 5 p.m. to 6 cocktails with dinner

to followPlace: K of C HallCost: Free to all paid up members; All

others, $8 per personFeatures: Reservations are required

with our choice of meat by Dec. 4. Allmembers are asked to bring in pajamasor a monetary gift in lieu of a gift ex-change. Please wrap the pajamas andmark on tag for boy or girl and the sizeso we ca donate them to the PJ’s for Kidsprogram. $15 limit.

CHRISTMAS CONCERTOgdensburg – St. Mary’s Cathedral isholding a Christmas Concert.Date: Dec. 19Time: 2 p.m.Features: This year's Christmas Concert

will feature traditional hymns and carolsfrom various cultures throughout theworld. If we need to postpone becauseof snow, the snow date will be January2, 2011, which is Epiphany Sunday. Contact: Music Director, Ernie Hadley.

393-3930

K OF C BRUNCHNorfolk – The Knights of Columbus willbe sponsoring a brunch.Date: Dec. 12Time: 8:30 a.m. to NoonPlace: Visitation Parish Center; Take-

outs availableCost: Adults, $6; Children under 12, $4;

Under 5, Free; Family, $16

NOVENA FOR MILITARYOgdensburg - Notre Dame Church isholding a weekly novena for the safetyof U.s. military personnelDate: Tuesday eveningsTime : 6:30 p.m.Place: Notre Dame Church

HOLY HOUR FOR VOCATIONSOgdensburg - St. Mary’s is holding amonthly Holy Hour for Vocations.Date: Thursday before the First FridayTime: 8 p.m. to 9Place: Deacon Winter ChapelFeatures: Nocturnal Adoration of the

Blessed Sacrament continues throughthe night, concluding with Benedictionat 7 a.m. Friday.

The North County Catholicwelcomes contributions to “Around the Diocese”. Parishioners are invited to send information about activities to:

North Country Catholic, PO Box 326,Ogdensburg, NY 13669; fax, 315-394-0670;e-mail news@northcountrycatholic.org.

Items must be received in the NCCoffice by the Thursday before publication.

CLINTON

ESSEX

FRANKLIN

JEFFERSON

ST. LAWRENCE

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C4 Diocesan Life

By Chris BrockReprinted with permission from the Watertown Daily Times

WATERTOWN - Another of the"sisters eight" of Breen Av-enue has observed a mile-stone.

My mother had to pass outsmelling salts. I felt the callingto work in God's vineyard.

Sr. Geraldine Canale, MPF

Sister Geraldine Canale, 77,who left Breen Avenue onJune 23, 1949, to become anun, recently celebrated her60th anniversary with theReligious Teachers Filippini.Sister Geraldine surprised

her Breen Avenue friends,and her parents, when as aWatertown High Schoolsophomore, she decided toenter the convent."My mother had to pass

out smelling salts," she said."I felt the calling to work inGod's vineyard."All of the girls who left

Breen Avenue to becomenuns joined the ReligiousTeachers Filippini order,based in Morristown, N.J.Three of them are now de-ceased.The Institute of the

Maestre Pie Filippini wasfounded in Italy in 1692 byLucy Filippini and CardinalMark Anthony Barbarigo. Thefirst sisters of the order ar-rived in the United States in1910 as the Religious Teach-ers Filippini. They came to Watertown in

1937 and opened the schoolat St. Anthony's in 1958, withfive grades and 120 stu-dents. The last of the Religious

Teachers Filippini in theRoman Catholic Diocese ofOgdensburg left in 1995after being reassigned.Members of the order had

tremendous influence on theeight girls of Breen Avenue topursue religious careers.Sister Canale's sister, Anita

Canale, left to join ReligiousTeachers Filippini in 1956.She's a year-and-a-half olderthan Geraldine. Now 79, sheserves as archivist at themother house, Villa Walsh, inMorristown, which is theheadquarters for the Reli-gious Teachers Filippiniorder.Sister Geraldine serves as

pastoral minister at St.Joseph's Convent in Ham-monton, N.J., where she as-sists the senior citizens inthe parish.Among her duties is ar-

ranging transportation to

doctor appointments for sen-iors or driving them to ap-pointments herself, bringingthem Holy Communion andassisting with funerals."It's rewarding and fulfill-

ing," she said. "I love my lifehere."The Canale sisters are sib-

lings of Ray Canale, a Water-town resident and comedianwho has performed aroundthe country, opening forsuch singing sensations as AlMartino, the Four Lads andConnie Francis.Describing herself as a

child, Sister Geraldine said

she was more "spirited" thanher sister, Anita, who othersthought was more suited forreligious life. "She was more subdued,"

Sister Geraldine said. "But theBible says, 'The Lord callsyou by name.'"Sister Geraldine completed

her remaining two years ofhigh school at the Villa WalshMotherhouse convent and re-ceived bachelor's and mas-ter's degrees at Seton HallUniversity, South Orange,N.J. She taught first grade for40 years "all over New Jer-sey.""More than ever in our ma-

terialistic society, kids needthe impact of being close toa religion," Sister Geraldinesaid. "I think our presence intheir lives gives them focus."In the 1980s, Sister Geral-

dine took a leave of absencefor two years to return to Wa-tertown to care for her an-other sister, Rosie, who diedof cancer in 1990. Whilehere, she was a substituteteacher at the city's publicschools."Now I soothe the souls

and bring happiness to olderparishioners," she said.Notes of congratulations

may be sent to Sister Geral-dine at St. Joseph's Convent,219 N. Third St., Hammon-ton, NJ 08037.

Besides the two Canale sis-ters, the other girls fromBreen Avenue who becamenuns and teachers are:Sister Santa Priolo.In 2001,

she celebrated her golden ju-bilee (50 years) as a memberof the Religious Teachers Fil-ippini in Morristown.Sister Giacinta Basile.In Au-

gust, she noted her 70th yearwith Religious Teachers Filip-pini. She is pastoral ministerfor St. Mary of Mount Virginparish, New Brunswick, N.J.,and also serves as a modera-tor for the Filippini commu-nity associate program.Sister Rose Vallelunga.She's

based at Elwood City, Pa.,with Religious Teachers Filip-pini.Rose's sister, Antonina Val-

lelunga, died in 2008 at age91. She had also taught at El-wood City.Sister Grace M. Scordo died

in 2006 at age 81. She was areligious teacher in the Orderof St. Lucy Filippini andbased in Morristown.Sister Rose Marzano,a

cousin of the Canale sisters,died in 1968 at the age of 34of the flu, which was compli-cated by asthma. She re-ceived her habit in 1955 withReligious Teachers Filippiniin Trenton, N.J., where shetaught at a number ofparochial schools.

Sr. Geraldine celebrates 60 years as a Filippini

PLATTSBURGH – Mercy SisterRuth Seguin, former admin-istrator of Mercy Hospital inWatertown and most recentlya tutor in the Plattsburgharea, has left the Diocese ofOgdensburg to live at MarionWoods, Hartsdale, N.Y. Mar-ion Woods is an assisted liv-ing facility on the property ofthe Sisters of Mercy whichserves four religious commu-nities.Born in Plattsburgh, the

daughter of Arthur andBertha Seguin, Sister Ruthgrew up in Rouses Point,She entered the Sisters of

Mercy in Tarrytown, NY, Aug.16, 1947 and made perpetualvows Aug. 16, 1953, takingthe name Sister Mary Pierre.

She earned a B.S. from MercyCollege, Dobbs Ferry, NY andan M.B.A. from Xavier Univer-sity, Cincinnati, Ohio, Gradu-ate School in HospitalAdministration. Sister Ruth obtained a per-

manent license as a NYSNursing Home Administratorin 1971. She was admitted asa Fellow of the American Col-lege of Hospital Administra-tors in 1974 and as a LifeFellow in 1990.“The Diocese of Ogdens-

burg was the beneficiary ofmany of Sister Ruth’s gifts ofleadership,” said AtonementSister Ellen Donahue, thebishop’s delegate for reli-gious. “In 1971, she was oneof the founding members of

the Council for Religious.”

Formerly known as SisterMary Pierre, the Clinton

County native served as ad-ministrator of MercyHospital in Watertown

She also served on theCouncil as a member from1993-1999. She was secre-tary for four years. In 1987, she wrote the His-

tory of the Council for Reli-gious: Diocese ofOgdensburg, which was pub-lished by the North CountryCatholic.During the years 1950-

1954, she taught commercialsubjects at St. John’s School,Plattsburgh and from 1954-1958 at the Loretta BusinessSchool, Plattsburgh. In 1958 she was assigned

to Mercy Hospital of Water-town to the position of Busi-ness Office Manager. SisterRuth served in various ad-ministrative positions at thehospital. In 1980, Sister Ruth was

appointed Administrator ofthe hospitalDuring the period of July

1989-September 1984, sheserved as a volunteerarchivist for the hospital alsoknown as Mercy Center forHealth Services when shemoved to Saranac Lake and

Lake Placid; and from 1999-2005 she was a tutor in thePlattsburgh area.Sister Ruth was active in

her Regional Community ofNew York, Institute of the Sis-ters of Mercy of America andserved on its Steering Com-mittee and the Advisory Fi-nance Committee of theRegional Community of NewYork.“Sister Ruth has returned

to live with her Communityin their assisted living facil-ity,” said Atonement SisterEllen Donahue, the bishop’sdelegate for religious. “Wewish her well and are grate-ful for the many gifts of serv-ice and consecrated life sheshared with our diocese.”

Sr. Geraldine Canale, MPF

Mercy Sr. Ruth Seguin moves out of diocese

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C entertainment 13

BETWEEN THE BOOKENDS

Reviewed by Sister Mona Castelazo, CSJCatholic News Service

"Good News in Bad Times"by John Lozano, "WalkingTogether" by Mary DeTurrisPoust and "Safely Throughthe Storm" by Debra Her-beck offer hope to thosestruggling to find spiritualmeaning in the midst of suf-fering. Lozano deals with obsta-

cles to spiritual develop-ment in our culture. Wedistract ourselves frominner emptiness through tel-evision, the Internet, othercommunication noveltiesand constant activities, andare therefore oblivious tothe wonder of reality callingus to reflection and trans-formation. The author suggests that

Christians can be trauma-tized by unexpectedchanges or crises because ofhaving established an illu-sion of control over theirlives. Contrary to Jesus'teachings, we place ourhope for security in militarypower, economic growthand success. Lozano quotesa recent study showing thatchildren's names are chosento "look good on their re-sumes," showing that ca-reers are valued abovefamily and relationships. In addition, we imagine

God as a comfortable forceto "pull out on Sundays."God becomes a sponsor ofthe American dream and thechurch a club, according toLozano. If we pay our duesof going to church, donatingmoney and making a faithcommitment, we feel we are"covered." God will bless uswith better jobs, careers, in-

comes and houses. The di-vine thus becomes manage-able and controllable as ahelp to self-improvement. Lozano's book shows that

spiritual deepening requiresus to be humble, present tomystery, aware of the sky,the stars and of God re-flected in the majesty of theuniverse. Second, we must"know and accept our entirehumanity in all its goodnessand all its destructive ten-dencies" in order to knowGod. Third, we need to learnnot to "play silly little socialgames" but to relate to oneanother at deeper levels.These attitudes providespiritual meanings for us intimes of uncertainty and cri-sis. Most importantly, Lozano

offers insights into suffer-ing. Change may be painful

and threatening, but tochange is to live human life.It is through accepted fail-ure, loss and suffering thattransformation comes. Thecross is an "image not ofcomfort but of hope," andChristianity is not about an-swers, he says, but aboutthe revelation of the pres-ence of God with us in themidst of all disappointmentand heartbreak. Poust's book, "Walking To-

gether," focuses on the im-portance of spiritual friendswho share deep longings,strengthen one another andpray together. The author,through personal, historical

and biblical stories, givesexamples of this type ofprofound and lasting con-nections that gives hopeand meaning to life. Saintly friendships in-

clude John of the Cross andTeresa of Avila; Francis deSales and Jane de Chantal;and Therese of Lisieux andher sisters. Poust shows thatspiritual friendships arepossible between persons ofdifferent cultures, religionsand genders. Selections forreflection and meditation

follow each chapter. "Safely Through the

Storm" is a collection of 120quotations from saints andCatholic writers on suffer-ing, hope and trust in God.Quotations include inspira-tional material such as thisfrom Pope John Paul II: "Weare not the sum of ourweaknesses and failures, weare the sum of the Father'slove for us and our real ca-pacity to become the imageof his Son," and this fromFather Henri Nouwen: "Thegood news ... (is) not thatGod came to take our suffer-ing away but that Godwanted to become part ofit." Herbeck, the editor, in-

cludes a section of brief bi-ographies of those quoted,as well as bibliographic in-formation. The intent of thebook is to offer comfort tothose suffering disappoint-ment, pain or loss.

- - - Sister Mona Castelazo, a

Sister of St. Joseph of Caron-delet, has taught English formany years in Los Angeles.She is the author of "Underthe Skyflower Tree: Reflec-tions of a Nun-Entity."

These are the covers of "Good News in Bad Times: Discovering Spiritual Meaning in theMidst of Crisis and Uncertainty" by John P. Lozano, "Walking Together: Discovering theCatholic Tradition of Spiritual Friendship" by Mary DeTurris Poust, and "Safely T hroughthe Storm: 120 Reflections on Hope" by Debra Herbeck.

Books offer hope to those struggling"Good News in Bad Times: Discover-ing Spiritual Meaning in the Midstof Crisis and Uncertainty" by John P.Lozano. Kairos Missions/Acta Publi-cations (Chicago, 2010). 208 pp.,$14.95. "Walking Together: Discovering theCatholic Tradition of SpiritualFriendship"by Mary DeTurris Poust.Ave Maria Press (Notre Dame, Ind.,2010). 192 pp., $13.95. "Safely Through the Storm: 120 Re-flections on Hope" by Debra Her-beck. Servant Books (Cincinnati,2010). 81 pp., $12.99.

About the books

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C12 commentary

SCRIPTURE REFLECTIONS

Today isGaudete (Re-joice!) Sunday,the most joyfulin tone of all theAdvent Sundays. It’s as though

the Church canno longer waitfor the Messiahto appear withdramatic powerto transform ourworld. Isaiah tells us in

the first readingthat the desert “will bloomwith abundant flowers, andrejoice with joyful song”. Yet, before we can see the

glory and the splendor ofour God, we must encour-

age one another to“strengthen the handsthat are feeble, makefirm the knees that areweak” and to “bestrong, fear not” forour God has come tosave us! And, oh,what a glorious daythat will be, when “theeyes of the blind [will]be opened, the ears ofthe deaf [will] beopened…”

The second readingfrom the apostle,

James, urges us to be pa-tient until the coming of theLord. He uses the example of a

farmer who must wait forthe fruits of his labors. “You,

too, must be patient. Makeyour hearts firm…” How difficult is that ad-

vice to those of us who en-dure more and more evil,hatred, exploitation of thehelpless, and indifferencetoward God’s command-ments. In solidarity with those

who suffer such injustice,we must encourage thefaint-hearted and the skepti-cal.

In the Gospel, we findJohn the Baptist is now inprison for telling the truthabout Herod’s wife.In that dank, dark, and

dismal atmosphere, thefiery prophet who has spenthis life preparing the multi-

tudes for the Messiah,seems to waver, seems todoubt. He sends messengers to

ask Jesus, “Are you the onewho is to come, or shouldwe look for another?” Jesus reassures John by

reminding him that all themiracles and healings hehas heard about are reallytrue. They are the marks of

the Kingdom. He pointedly adds, per-

haps for John’s benefit andfor all of us, “And blessedare they who do not take of-fense in Me!”. These words must have

consoled John who willsoon face death from aweak king.

Unlike John, we do notsuffer the horrors of aprison, although many inour world suffer persecu-tion and exile because theyare Christians, and we suf-fer along with them in theirpain. May we be consoled at

this Gospel, and labor withthe Lord in building the newKingdom to come.

MonsignorPaul E.Whitmore

Third Sunday of AdventREADINGS

Isaiah 35:1-6a, 10James 5:7-10

Matthew 11: 2-11

DEC. 12

Gaudete - an Advent Sunday to rejoice!

LOOKING AROUND

By Father William J. Byron, SJ Catholic News Service

News services made muchof the recently released re-port of the Pew ResearchCenter on what is beingcalled the "marriage gap" inthe Unites States. Since 1960, there has been

a sharp decline in marriageand a rise in new familyforms. The marriage gap, re-searchers say, is related tothe income gap. It seemsthat economic security isviewed by many as a condi-tion for marriage. If incomeis low or uncertain, the com-mitment to marriage is post-poned or simply ignored. As marriage has declined,

cohabitation has increased.

The phenomenon of couplesliving together as unmarriedpartners has doubled in thepast 20 years, and althoughthose who choose this routeare not necessarily getting astanding ovation from theirelders, they are not beingdisowned or condemned ei-ther. In 1960, the share of

births to unmarried womenwas 5 percent. In 2008, itrose to 41 percent. I've been told that David's

Bridal, a national firm thatsells wedding gowns,bridesmaids' dresses and ac-cessories, used to consideritself recession-proof. How-ever, those who track na-tional statistics for this firmreported 90,000 fewer wed-dings last year than the yearbefore. What's behind these num-

bers and trends? I'll suggest two candi-

dates: the erosion of com-mitment in Americansociety and the failure to see

sacrifice as the foundationof a happy marriage.

For those of marriageableage, the most difficult word to

utter is "forever."

We are caught in some-thing of a cultural hesitationregarding commitments. Wewant to keep our optionsopen. We don't want to dropthe anchor in any one place,in any one career, or takethe risk of dropping it in ashared life with any one per-son. For those of marriageable

age, the most difficult wordto utter is "forever." It takeswisdom (that most of themdon't yet have) to realizethat postponing commit-ments is postponing happi-ness. Mutual self-sacrifice, not

enlightened self-interest, iswhat makes a marriagework. Ironically, sacrifice be-

comes the highest form ofself-interest in marriage.Without it, the happinesseach partner seeks will al-ways remain out of sightand out of reach. In the years before the

Second Vatican Council(1962-1965), the CatholicChurch used Latin as its offi-cial liturgical language, butEnglish was the languageused for an exhortation readin all churches in the UnitedStates at the beginning ofthe wedding ceremony. I'veoften remarked that the rea-son for this was the church'sfervent hope that the mes-sage would be clear andcompletely understood! Let "the security of your

wedded life rest on the greatprinciple of self-sacrifice,"the church advised itsyoung brides and grooms inthose days as they stood be-fore the altar to pronouncetheir wedding vows. "Sacrifice is usually diffi-

cult and irksome; only love

can make it easy and perfectlove can make it a joy," theexhortation went on to say. It said much more in beau-

tiful and compelling lan-guage that a good Internetsearch engine should beable to retrieve for anyonewho is interested. I quotethe full exhortation in chap-ter one of my book "Wordsat the Wedding" (PaulistPress). Those words can serve as

a mission statement for amarriage. They can alsostand alone on their ownmerits to be pondered atany time before and formany years after a weddingceremony. They have a timeless qual-

ity and profound beautythat reflect the beauty andpermanence of marriage. And, as the much-dis-

cussed Pew Research Centerreport serves to remind,we've got a lot of work to doto strengthen the bonds ofmarriage and family life inAmerica. (Jesuit Father Byron is uni-

versity professor of busi-ness and society at St.Joseph's University,Philadelphia. E-mail: wby-ron@sju.edu.)

Looking behind the 'marriage gap' trends

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C the Gallery 5

A NIGHT OFCELEBRATION

Special Religious Education dinner brings Bishop LaValley, area priests, sisters, family

members and friends together for special evening

ON NOV. 23 IN WATERTOWN

TOP: Christopher O'Leary wrote and readthe Thanksgiving Grace before the meal.

MIDDLE: A participant shows Sister DianeMarie her new hearing aid.

BOTTOM: Joe Freda and William Schantzfrom Immaculate Heart Central Schoolhelped with serving and clean-up.

Bishop LaValley is shown with two new friends, Stephanie Williams and Terese Bur-dick. Anderson Stenard gives the "Celebration Proclamation

PHOTOS BY ANN CHARLEBOISSt. Joseph Sister Diane Marie Ulsamer, coordinator of the Special Religious Education program in Watertown , leads the choir in a medley of patriotic songs thanking God for free-doms. This was a highlight of the Special Religious Education dinner held Nov. 3 at the Northside Improvement League in Watertown. The choir members are Eliza Meeks, CelinaIngram, Eva Gotham, Stephanie Williams, Terese Burdick, Michael Sinclair, Destiney Charlton, Sheri Baker, Eddie Sayyeau, Christoper O'Leary and Anderson Stenard.

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C6 Diocesan Life

Dec. 8 – 12:00 p.m., Mass and Visitto Trinity Catholic School inMassena.

Dec. 10 – 4:30 p.m., AdventPenance Service at Notre DameChurch in Ogdensburg.

Dec. 12 – 9:30 a.m., Mass at NotreDame Church in Ogdensburg

Bishop LaValley’s Schedule

This week marks the anniversaryof the deaths of the following

clergymen who have served in theDiocese of Ogdensburg

Dec. 8 – Rev. Patrick J. McGuinness,1931; Msgr. Cornelius J. Crowley,1946; Rev. John Leo Hammill, 1949;Rev. John Harvey, 1961Dec. 9 – Rev. George Marion, O.M.I,1927; Rev. Edwin Hanlon McCarthy,1950; Rev. Arthur LaVigne, 1956Dec. 10 – Rev. James Hogan, 1882Dec. 11 – George Montreuil, 1914;Rev. Edward Tetrault, 1952; Msgr.George Henry Brisson, P.A., 1969Dec. 12 – Rev. Victor Dugas, 1843;Msgr. Albert J. Farrell, 1967; Rev. Ju-lian P. O’Brien, 1988; Deacon Floyd J.Barton, 1999Dec. 14 – Rev. P.M. O’Shea, O.S.A.,1942

Rest in Peace

CALL CHRISTINE315-708-7556

To advertise in the NCC

The Diocese of Ogdensburg hasscheduled sessions for ProtectingGod's Children for Adults. Pre-regis-tration online is required in order toparticipate. Participants may pre-register at www.virtus.org by select-ing the registration button andfollowing the directions. All em-ployees and volunteers who partici-pate in church sponsored activitieswith minor are required to partici-pate in this training. Ongoingmonthly training is required for allemployees involved in activitieswith minors. Volunteers are stronglyencouraged to continue their train-ing. Further information is availablefrom Atonement Sister Ellen Don-ahue, phone, 315-393-2920. ext. 403Upcoming programs:Dec. 6 - Diocesan offices in Ogdens-burg, 1 p.m.Dec. 13 - St. Alexander’s Church,Morrisonville, 6 p.m.Jan. 27- St. Mary’s School, Canton,7:30 p.m.

Protecting God’s Children

If you have a complaint of suspectedmisconduct involving diocesanclergy, religious, employees or volun-teers, contact the Episcopal Vicar forReligious Rev, James Seymour at315-393-2920 or the Victims Assistance Coordinator, Terri-anne Yanulavich, 7061 Rt. 9, Platts-burgh, NY 12901-0310;Tel.518-561-3100; Fax 518-561-3003; e-mail: aycsn@westelcom.com

To Report Abuse

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C world/nation 11

AT A GLANCE

CATHOLICWORLDWhile a cardinal, pope asked for swift action against abusive priests VATICAN CITY (CNS) - A newly disclosed letter reveals that as early as 1988, thefuture Pope Benedict XVI pressed for swifter and more streamlined proceduresto punish priests guilty of "grave and scandalous conduct." The letter, written bythen-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger when he was head of the Vatican's doctrinalcongregation, expressed concern that the normal process for dealing with suchpriests - which typically involved a request for dispensation from priestly obli-gations - took too long and was seen more as a favor than a punishment. Even-tually, with Cardinal Ratzinger's involvement, the penal procedures weresimplified and sanctions were strengthened. But in 1988, the cardinal's sugges-tion of a "more rapid and simplified penal process" was rebuffed by the Vati-can's canon law experts. The letter was cited in a lengthy article published Dec.1 by the Vatican newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano. The article highlighted whatit described as a "crucial role" and "decisive action" by Cardinal Ratzinger in the20-year process of strengthening sanctions against errant priests.

Bishop Hubbard urges Senate to ratify START WASHINGTON (CNS) -- Citing the Catholic Church's concern for the sanctity ofhuman life, the chairman of the U.S. bishops' Committee on International Jus-tice and Peace called on U.S. senators to set aside politics and ratify the newStrategic Arms Reduction Treaty. Bishop Howard J. Hubbard of Albany, N.Y.,speaking on behalf of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, urged senators ina Nov. 29 letter to approve the treaty known as START during the lame-duck ses-sion in the final weeks of 2010. Citing earlier statements by both Pope BenedictXVI and the bishops' conference, Bishop Hubbard called ratification of the armscontrol accord critical "because it is a modest step toward a world with greaterrespect for human life." Bishop Hubbard's letter pointed to statements thatPope Benedict and the U.S. bishops have made welcoming the treaty, which wassigned April 8 in Prague by U.S. President Barack Obama and Russian PresidentDmitry Medvedev as well as long-standing support within the church for nu-clear arms control. The treaty would commit the two nations to reducing theirstrategic arsenals to 1,550 warheads deployed on long-range missiles, bombersand submarines. Under the previous START pact, which expired in December,both countries reduced their strategic arsenals to 2,200 weapons each.

Pope says Catholic newspapers have 'irreplaceable' role VATICAN CITY (CNS) -- Pope Benedict XVI said the Catholic press has an irre-placeable role in forming Christian consciences and reflecting the church's view-point on contemporary issues. Despite the crisis in print media today, theCatholic newspaper still has a vital role to play in diocesan communications, thepope said. He made the remarks Nov. 26 to members of the Italian Federation ofCatholic Weeklies, which represents 188 Catholic newspapers. The pope said thatwhile secular media often reflect a skeptical and relativistic attitude towardtruth, the church knows that people need the full truth brought by Christ. "Themission of the church consists in creating the conditions so that this meetingwith Christ can be realized. Cooperating in this task, the communications mediaare called to serve the truth with courage, to help public opinion see and readreality from an evangelical viewpoint," he said. A primary task of the Catholicnewspaper, he said, is to "give voice to a point of view that reflects Catholicthinking on all ethical and social questions." The pope said the printed newspa-per, because of its simplicity and widespread distribution, remains an effectiveway of spreading news about local diocesan events and developments.

By John Thavis Catholic News Service

VATICAN CITY (CNS) - Pope BenedictXVI welcomed the beginningof Advent with a prayer forlife and a defense of thehuman embryo. The pope presided over an

evening prayer service at theVatican Nov. 27, part of aworldwide pro-life vigil. Hesaid it was an appropriateinitiative to launch Advent,the liturgical period in whichthe church prepares to cele-brate the birth of Jesus. In a homily, he said the

church's teaching againstabortion comes from itsteaching about the dignity ofevery human life and its con-cern that the unborn is mostvulnerable to "the selfishnessof adults and the clouding ofconsciences." "There are cultural tenden-

cies that seek to anesthetizeconsciences with spuriousarguments," the pope said. Regarding the human em-

bryo, the pope said scienceitself has demonstrated the

embyro's autonomous ca-pacity of interaction with themother, the coordination ofits biological processes, thecontinuity of its develop-ment and its complexity asan organism. "It's not a question of a col-

lection of biological material,but of a new living being, dy-namic and marvelously or-dered, a new individual ofthe human species," thepope said. "This is how Jesus was in

Mary's womb; this is how weeach were, in our mother'swombs," he said. The pope cited the early

church author Tertullian,who reasoned that abortionis wrong because, as hewrote, "He is a man, who is tobe a man." The pope addedthat "there is no reason notto consider him a personfrom the moment of concep-tion." Pope Benedict emphasized

that the threat to human lifedoes not end at birth. He saidchildren today are often sub-ject to abandonment,hunger, poverty, disease,

abuse, violence and exploita-tion. Faced with this "sadpanorama of injustices" be-fore and after birth, thechurch calls everyone to re-sponsibility, he said. He urged leaders in poli-

tics, economics and commu-nications to do everythingpossible to promote a culturethat respects human life andto establish a network ofservices that support humanlife. On Nov. 28, the first Sun-

day of Advent, the popespoke to pilgrims from hisapartment window about theimportance of "expectantwaiting" in the period beforeChristmas and in people'slives in general. "We think of the expecta-

tion of a child by a marriedcouple, or of a visit by a dis-tant relative or friend. Wethink of a young person whoawaits the outcome of a deci-sive examination, or a meet-ing at work," he said. "One can say that a person

is alive as long as he is ex-pectant, as long as hope livesin his heart," he said.

WORLD YOUTH DAY ON FACEBOOK

CNS PHOTO/PAUL HARINGCristine del Campo works on the Facebook site of World Youth Day at the headquarters of the international youth gathering inMadrid, Spain, Nov. 12. Organizers of the Aug. 16-21 international Catholic youth gathering are preparing to welcome 1.5 to 2.5 m il-lion young people - including a group from the Diocese of Ogdensburg - to Madrid.

Pope marks beginning ofAdvent with prayer for life

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C religious retireMENT 7D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0

N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C10 religious retirement

RELIGIOUS RETIREMENT COLLECTION

is December 11th and 12th

FACTSFACTS

Less than five percent of the religious institutes in the National Religious Retirement Office da-tabase are adequately funded for retirement. More than 5,000 religious require skilled care. The average annual Social Security benefit for a religious is approximately $4,500.

Religious institutes are financially autonomous and responsible for the support of their members. Income sources include compensated ministry, government benefits, and investment return.

The average Social Security benefit for religious women and men

is approximately one-third that paid to the average U.S. beneficiary.

Amount Enclosed: $ __________ Name________________________________________________________ Address ______________________________________________________ City __________________________ State ________ Zip ___________

Make your tax-deductible check payable to your parish. Write Retirement Fund for Religious on the memo line and give it to your parish collection

OR

send your donation directly to:

RETIREMENT FUND FOR RELIGIOUSRETIREMENT FUND FOR RELIGIOUS P.O. Box 369

Ogdensburg, NY 13669

CCOMFORTINGOMFORTING URTURINGURTURING EACHINGEACHING URSINGURSING HARINGHARING OVINGOVING ARINGARING

Sister Mary Hallahan, OSU, conducting a Eucharistic Service for the assisted-living facility at Farrar Home. Many Sisters are able to continue their ministries through contributed services of their communities.

Congregations pray daily for

those who provide care and support ministries.

Sister Mary Christine Taylor, SSJ, and Native friends at the Fallen Leaves Celebration, St. Regis Mission, Akwesasne. There is no way to describe the love and energy Sister has for the Native people. Pictured left to right are: Nidia DeJung, Isabella DeJung, Sr. Mary Christine Taylor, SSJ, Caroline Tarbell, and Justin DeJung. Also attending were Jennifer DeJung, Cory Phillips and Vicky Phillips.

N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C8 religious retirementD E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0

N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C religious retireMENT 9

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C religious retireMENT 7D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0

N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C10 religious retirement

RELIGIOUS RETIREMENT COLLECTION

is December 11th and 12th

FACTSFACTS

Less than five percent of the religious institutes in the National Religious Retirement Office da-tabase are adequately funded for retirement. More than 5,000 religious require skilled care. The average annual Social Security benefit for a religious is approximately $4,500.

Religious institutes are financially autonomous and responsible for the support of their members. Income sources include compensated ministry, government benefits, and investment return.

The average Social Security benefit for religious women and men

is approximately one-third that paid to the average U.S. beneficiary.

Amount Enclosed: $ __________ Name________________________________________________________ Address ______________________________________________________ City __________________________ State ________ Zip ___________

Make your tax-deductible check payable to your parish. Write Retirement Fund for Religious on the memo line and give it to your parish collection

OR

send your donation directly to:

RETIREMENT FUND FOR RELIGIOUSRETIREMENT FUND FOR RELIGIOUS P.O. Box 369

Ogdensburg, NY 13669

CCOMFORTINGOMFORTING URTURINGURTURING EACHINGEACHING URSINGURSING HARINGHARING OVINGOVING ARINGARING

Sister Mary Hallahan, OSU, conducting a Eucharistic Service for the assisted-living facility at Farrar Home. Many Sisters are able to continue their ministries through contributed services of their communities.

Congregations pray daily for

those who provide care and support ministries.

Sister Mary Christine Taylor, SSJ, and Native friends at the Fallen Leaves Celebration, St. Regis Mission, Akwesasne. There is no way to describe the love and energy Sister has for the Native people. Pictured left to right are: Nidia DeJung, Isabella DeJung, Sr. Mary Christine Taylor, SSJ, Caroline Tarbell, and Justin DeJung. Also attending were Jennifer DeJung, Cory Phillips and Vicky Phillips.

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C6 Diocesan Life

Dec. 8 – 12:00 p.m., Mass and Visitto Trinity Catholic School inMassena.

Dec. 10 – 4:30 p.m., AdventPenance Service at Notre DameChurch in Ogdensburg.

Dec. 12 – 9:30 a.m., Mass at NotreDame Church in Ogdensburg

Bishop LaValley’s Schedule

This week marks the anniversaryof the deaths of the following

clergymen who have served in theDiocese of Ogdensburg

Dec. 8 – Rev. Patrick J. McGuinness,1931; Msgr. Cornelius J. Crowley,1946; Rev. John Leo Hammill, 1949;Rev. John Harvey, 1961Dec. 9 – Rev. George Marion, O.M.I,1927; Rev. Edwin Hanlon McCarthy,1950; Rev. Arthur LaVigne, 1956Dec. 10 – Rev. James Hogan, 1882Dec. 11 – George Montreuil, 1914;Rev. Edward Tetrault, 1952; Msgr.George Henry Brisson, P.A., 1969Dec. 12 – Rev. Victor Dugas, 1843;Msgr. Albert J. Farrell, 1967; Rev. Ju-lian P. O’Brien, 1988; Deacon Floyd J.Barton, 1999Dec. 14 – Rev. P.M. O’Shea, O.S.A.,1942

Rest in Peace

CALL CHRISTINE315-708-7556

To advertise in the NCC

The Diocese of Ogdensburg hasscheduled sessions for ProtectingGod's Children for Adults. Pre-regis-tration online is required in order toparticipate. Participants may pre-register at www.virtus.org by select-ing the registration button andfollowing the directions. All em-ployees and volunteers who partici-pate in church sponsored activitieswith minor are required to partici-pate in this training. Ongoingmonthly training is required for allemployees involved in activitieswith minors. Volunteers are stronglyencouraged to continue their train-ing. Further information is availablefrom Atonement Sister Ellen Don-ahue, phone, 315-393-2920. ext. 403Upcoming programs:Dec. 6 - Diocesan offices in Ogdens-burg, 1 p.m.Dec. 13 - St. Alexander’s Church,Morrisonville, 6 p.m.Jan. 27- St. Mary’s School, Canton,7:30 p.m.

Protecting God’s Children

If you have a complaint of suspectedmisconduct involving diocesanclergy, religious, employees or volun-teers, contact the Episcopal Vicar forReligious Rev, James Seymour at315-393-2920 or the Victims Assistance Coordinator, Terri-anne Yanulavich, 7061 Rt. 9, Platts-burgh, NY 12901-0310;Tel.518-561-3100; Fax 518-561-3003; e-mail: aycsn@westelcom.com

To Report Abuse

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C world/nation 11

AT A GLANCE

CATHOLICWORLDWhile a cardinal, pope asked for swift action against abusive priests VATICAN CITY (CNS) - A newly disclosed letter reveals that as early as 1988, thefuture Pope Benedict XVI pressed for swifter and more streamlined proceduresto punish priests guilty of "grave and scandalous conduct." The letter, written bythen-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger when he was head of the Vatican's doctrinalcongregation, expressed concern that the normal process for dealing with suchpriests - which typically involved a request for dispensation from priestly obli-gations - took too long and was seen more as a favor than a punishment. Even-tually, with Cardinal Ratzinger's involvement, the penal procedures weresimplified and sanctions were strengthened. But in 1988, the cardinal's sugges-tion of a "more rapid and simplified penal process" was rebuffed by the Vati-can's canon law experts. The letter was cited in a lengthy article published Dec.1 by the Vatican newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano. The article highlighted whatit described as a "crucial role" and "decisive action" by Cardinal Ratzinger in the20-year process of strengthening sanctions against errant priests.

Bishop Hubbard urges Senate to ratify START WASHINGTON (CNS) -- Citing the Catholic Church's concern for the sanctity ofhuman life, the chairman of the U.S. bishops' Committee on International Jus-tice and Peace called on U.S. senators to set aside politics and ratify the newStrategic Arms Reduction Treaty. Bishop Howard J. Hubbard of Albany, N.Y.,speaking on behalf of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, urged senators ina Nov. 29 letter to approve the treaty known as START during the lame-duck ses-sion in the final weeks of 2010. Citing earlier statements by both Pope BenedictXVI and the bishops' conference, Bishop Hubbard called ratification of the armscontrol accord critical "because it is a modest step toward a world with greaterrespect for human life." Bishop Hubbard's letter pointed to statements thatPope Benedict and the U.S. bishops have made welcoming the treaty, which wassigned April 8 in Prague by U.S. President Barack Obama and Russian PresidentDmitry Medvedev as well as long-standing support within the church for nu-clear arms control. The treaty would commit the two nations to reducing theirstrategic arsenals to 1,550 warheads deployed on long-range missiles, bombersand submarines. Under the previous START pact, which expired in December,both countries reduced their strategic arsenals to 2,200 weapons each.

Pope says Catholic newspapers have 'irreplaceable' role VATICAN CITY (CNS) -- Pope Benedict XVI said the Catholic press has an irre-placeable role in forming Christian consciences and reflecting the church's view-point on contemporary issues. Despite the crisis in print media today, theCatholic newspaper still has a vital role to play in diocesan communications, thepope said. He made the remarks Nov. 26 to members of the Italian Federation ofCatholic Weeklies, which represents 188 Catholic newspapers. The pope said thatwhile secular media often reflect a skeptical and relativistic attitude towardtruth, the church knows that people need the full truth brought by Christ. "Themission of the church consists in creating the conditions so that this meetingwith Christ can be realized. Cooperating in this task, the communications mediaare called to serve the truth with courage, to help public opinion see and readreality from an evangelical viewpoint," he said. A primary task of the Catholicnewspaper, he said, is to "give voice to a point of view that reflects Catholicthinking on all ethical and social questions." The pope said the printed newspa-per, because of its simplicity and widespread distribution, remains an effectiveway of spreading news about local diocesan events and developments.

By John Thavis Catholic News Service

VATICAN CITY (CNS) - Pope BenedictXVI welcomed the beginningof Advent with a prayer forlife and a defense of thehuman embryo. The pope presided over an

evening prayer service at theVatican Nov. 27, part of aworldwide pro-life vigil. Hesaid it was an appropriateinitiative to launch Advent,the liturgical period in whichthe church prepares to cele-brate the birth of Jesus. In a homily, he said the

church's teaching againstabortion comes from itsteaching about the dignity ofevery human life and its con-cern that the unborn is mostvulnerable to "the selfishnessof adults and the clouding ofconsciences." "There are cultural tenden-

cies that seek to anesthetizeconsciences with spuriousarguments," the pope said. Regarding the human em-

bryo, the pope said scienceitself has demonstrated the

embyro's autonomous ca-pacity of interaction with themother, the coordination ofits biological processes, thecontinuity of its develop-ment and its complexity asan organism. "It's not a question of a col-

lection of biological material,but of a new living being, dy-namic and marvelously or-dered, a new individual ofthe human species," thepope said. "This is how Jesus was in

Mary's womb; this is how weeach were, in our mother'swombs," he said. The pope cited the early

church author Tertullian,who reasoned that abortionis wrong because, as hewrote, "He is a man, who is tobe a man." The pope addedthat "there is no reason notto consider him a personfrom the moment of concep-tion." Pope Benedict emphasized

that the threat to human lifedoes not end at birth. He saidchildren today are often sub-ject to abandonment,hunger, poverty, disease,

abuse, violence and exploita-tion. Faced with this "sadpanorama of injustices" be-fore and after birth, thechurch calls everyone to re-sponsibility, he said. He urged leaders in poli-

tics, economics and commu-nications to do everythingpossible to promote a culturethat respects human life andto establish a network ofservices that support humanlife. On Nov. 28, the first Sun-

day of Advent, the popespoke to pilgrims from hisapartment window about theimportance of "expectantwaiting" in the period beforeChristmas and in people'slives in general. "We think of the expecta-

tion of a child by a marriedcouple, or of a visit by a dis-tant relative or friend. Wethink of a young person whoawaits the outcome of a deci-sive examination, or a meet-ing at work," he said. "One can say that a person

is alive as long as he is ex-pectant, as long as hope livesin his heart," he said.

WORLD YOUTH DAY ON FACEBOOK

CNS PHOTO/PAUL HARINGCristine del Campo works on the Facebook site of World Youth Day at the headquarters of the international youth gathering inMadrid, Spain, Nov. 12. Organizers of the Aug. 16-21 international Catholic youth gathering are preparing to welcome 1.5 to 2.5 m il-lion young people - including a group from the Diocese of Ogdensburg - to Madrid.

Pope marks beginning ofAdvent with prayer for life

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C12 commentary

SCRIPTURE REFLECTIONS

Today isGaudete (Re-joice!) Sunday,the most joyfulin tone of all theAdvent Sundays. It’s as though

the Church canno longer waitfor the Messiahto appear withdramatic powerto transform ourworld. Isaiah tells us in

the first readingthat the desert “will bloomwith abundant flowers, andrejoice with joyful song”. Yet, before we can see the

glory and the splendor ofour God, we must encour-

age one another to“strengthen the handsthat are feeble, makefirm the knees that areweak” and to “bestrong, fear not” forour God has come tosave us! And, oh,what a glorious daythat will be, when “theeyes of the blind [will]be opened, the ears ofthe deaf [will] beopened…”

The second readingfrom the apostle,

James, urges us to be pa-tient until the coming of theLord. He uses the example of a

farmer who must wait forthe fruits of his labors. “You,

too, must be patient. Makeyour hearts firm…” How difficult is that ad-

vice to those of us who en-dure more and more evil,hatred, exploitation of thehelpless, and indifferencetoward God’s command-ments. In solidarity with those

who suffer such injustice,we must encourage thefaint-hearted and the skepti-cal.

In the Gospel, we findJohn the Baptist is now inprison for telling the truthabout Herod’s wife.In that dank, dark, and

dismal atmosphere, thefiery prophet who has spenthis life preparing the multi-

tudes for the Messiah,seems to waver, seems todoubt. He sends messengers to

ask Jesus, “Are you the onewho is to come, or shouldwe look for another?” Jesus reassures John by

reminding him that all themiracles and healings hehas heard about are reallytrue. They are the marks of

the Kingdom. He pointedly adds, per-

haps for John’s benefit andfor all of us, “And blessedare they who do not take of-fense in Me!”. These words must have

consoled John who willsoon face death from aweak king.

Unlike John, we do notsuffer the horrors of aprison, although many inour world suffer persecu-tion and exile because theyare Christians, and we suf-fer along with them in theirpain. May we be consoled at

this Gospel, and labor withthe Lord in building the newKingdom to come.

MonsignorPaul E.Whitmore

Third Sunday of AdventREADINGS

Isaiah 35:1-6a, 10James 5:7-10

Matthew 11: 2-11

DEC. 12

Gaudete - an Advent Sunday to rejoice!

LOOKING AROUND

By Father William J. Byron, SJ Catholic News Service

News services made muchof the recently released re-port of the Pew ResearchCenter on what is beingcalled the "marriage gap" inthe Unites States. Since 1960, there has been

a sharp decline in marriageand a rise in new familyforms. The marriage gap, re-searchers say, is related tothe income gap. It seemsthat economic security isviewed by many as a condi-tion for marriage. If incomeis low or uncertain, the com-mitment to marriage is post-poned or simply ignored. As marriage has declined,

cohabitation has increased.

The phenomenon of couplesliving together as unmarriedpartners has doubled in thepast 20 years, and althoughthose who choose this routeare not necessarily getting astanding ovation from theirelders, they are not beingdisowned or condemned ei-ther. In 1960, the share of

births to unmarried womenwas 5 percent. In 2008, itrose to 41 percent. I've been told that David's

Bridal, a national firm thatsells wedding gowns,bridesmaids' dresses and ac-cessories, used to consideritself recession-proof. How-ever, those who track na-tional statistics for this firmreported 90,000 fewer wed-dings last year than the yearbefore. What's behind these num-

bers and trends? I'll suggest two candi-

dates: the erosion of com-mitment in Americansociety and the failure to see

sacrifice as the foundationof a happy marriage.

For those of marriageableage, the most difficult word to

utter is "forever."

We are caught in some-thing of a cultural hesitationregarding commitments. Wewant to keep our optionsopen. We don't want to dropthe anchor in any one place,in any one career, or takethe risk of dropping it in ashared life with any one per-son. For those of marriageable

age, the most difficult wordto utter is "forever." It takeswisdom (that most of themdon't yet have) to realizethat postponing commit-ments is postponing happi-ness. Mutual self-sacrifice, not

enlightened self-interest, iswhat makes a marriagework. Ironically, sacrifice be-

comes the highest form ofself-interest in marriage.Without it, the happinesseach partner seeks will al-ways remain out of sightand out of reach. In the years before the

Second Vatican Council(1962-1965), the CatholicChurch used Latin as its offi-cial liturgical language, butEnglish was the languageused for an exhortation readin all churches in the UnitedStates at the beginning ofthe wedding ceremony. I'veoften remarked that the rea-son for this was the church'sfervent hope that the mes-sage would be clear andcompletely understood! Let "the security of your

wedded life rest on the greatprinciple of self-sacrifice,"the church advised itsyoung brides and grooms inthose days as they stood be-fore the altar to pronouncetheir wedding vows. "Sacrifice is usually diffi-

cult and irksome; only love

can make it easy and perfectlove can make it a joy," theexhortation went on to say. It said much more in beau-

tiful and compelling lan-guage that a good Internetsearch engine should beable to retrieve for anyonewho is interested. I quotethe full exhortation in chap-ter one of my book "Wordsat the Wedding" (PaulistPress). Those words can serve as

a mission statement for amarriage. They can alsostand alone on their ownmerits to be pondered atany time before and formany years after a weddingceremony. They have a timeless qual-

ity and profound beautythat reflect the beauty andpermanence of marriage. And, as the much-dis-

cussed Pew Research Centerreport serves to remind,we've got a lot of work to doto strengthen the bonds ofmarriage and family life inAmerica. (Jesuit Father Byron is uni-

versity professor of busi-ness and society at St.Joseph's University,Philadelphia. E-mail: wby-ron@sju.edu.)

Looking behind the 'marriage gap' trends

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C the Gallery 5

A NIGHT OFCELEBRATION

Special Religious Education dinner brings Bishop LaValley, area priests, sisters, family

members and friends together for special evening

ON NOV. 23 IN WATERTOWN

TOP: Christopher O'Leary wrote and readthe Thanksgiving Grace before the meal.

MIDDLE: A participant shows Sister DianeMarie her new hearing aid.

BOTTOM: Joe Freda and William Schantzfrom Immaculate Heart Central Schoolhelped with serving and clean-up.

Bishop LaValley is shown with two new friends, Stephanie Williams and Terese Bur-dick. Anderson Stenard gives the "Celebration Proclamation

PHOTOS BY ANN CHARLEBOISSt. Joseph Sister Diane Marie Ulsamer, coordinator of the Special Religious Education program in Watertown , leads the choir in a medley of patriotic songs thanking God for free-doms. This was a highlight of the Special Religious Education dinner held Nov. 3 at the Northside Improvement League in Watertown. The choir members are Eliza Meeks, CelinaIngram, Eva Gotham, Stephanie Williams, Terese Burdick, Michael Sinclair, Destiney Charlton, Sheri Baker, Eddie Sayyeau, Christoper O'Leary and Anderson Stenard.

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C4 Diocesan Life

By Chris BrockReprinted with permission from the Watertown Daily Times

WATERTOWN - Another of the"sisters eight" of Breen Av-enue has observed a mile-stone.

My mother had to pass outsmelling salts. I felt the callingto work in God's vineyard.

Sr. Geraldine Canale, MPF

Sister Geraldine Canale, 77,who left Breen Avenue onJune 23, 1949, to become anun, recently celebrated her60th anniversary with theReligious Teachers Filippini.Sister Geraldine surprised

her Breen Avenue friends,and her parents, when as aWatertown High Schoolsophomore, she decided toenter the convent."My mother had to pass

out smelling salts," she said."I felt the calling to work inGod's vineyard."All of the girls who left

Breen Avenue to becomenuns joined the ReligiousTeachers Filippini order,based in Morristown, N.J.Three of them are now de-ceased.The Institute of the

Maestre Pie Filippini wasfounded in Italy in 1692 byLucy Filippini and CardinalMark Anthony Barbarigo. Thefirst sisters of the order ar-rived in the United States in1910 as the Religious Teach-ers Filippini. They came to Watertown in

1937 and opened the schoolat St. Anthony's in 1958, withfive grades and 120 stu-dents. The last of the Religious

Teachers Filippini in theRoman Catholic Diocese ofOgdensburg left in 1995after being reassigned.Members of the order had

tremendous influence on theeight girls of Breen Avenue topursue religious careers.Sister Canale's sister, Anita

Canale, left to join ReligiousTeachers Filippini in 1956.She's a year-and-a-half olderthan Geraldine. Now 79, sheserves as archivist at themother house, Villa Walsh, inMorristown, which is theheadquarters for the Reli-gious Teachers Filippiniorder.Sister Geraldine serves as

pastoral minister at St.Joseph's Convent in Ham-monton, N.J., where she as-sists the senior citizens inthe parish.Among her duties is ar-

ranging transportation to

doctor appointments for sen-iors or driving them to ap-pointments herself, bringingthem Holy Communion andassisting with funerals."It's rewarding and fulfill-

ing," she said. "I love my lifehere."The Canale sisters are sib-

lings of Ray Canale, a Water-town resident and comedianwho has performed aroundthe country, opening forsuch singing sensations as AlMartino, the Four Lads andConnie Francis.Describing herself as a

child, Sister Geraldine said

she was more "spirited" thanher sister, Anita, who othersthought was more suited forreligious life. "She was more subdued,"

Sister Geraldine said. "But theBible says, 'The Lord callsyou by name.'"Sister Geraldine completed

her remaining two years ofhigh school at the Villa WalshMotherhouse convent and re-ceived bachelor's and mas-ter's degrees at Seton HallUniversity, South Orange,N.J. She taught first grade for40 years "all over New Jer-sey.""More than ever in our ma-

terialistic society, kids needthe impact of being close toa religion," Sister Geraldinesaid. "I think our presence intheir lives gives them focus."In the 1980s, Sister Geral-

dine took a leave of absencefor two years to return to Wa-tertown to care for her an-other sister, Rosie, who diedof cancer in 1990. Whilehere, she was a substituteteacher at the city's publicschools."Now I soothe the souls

and bring happiness to olderparishioners," she said.Notes of congratulations

may be sent to Sister Geral-dine at St. Joseph's Convent,219 N. Third St., Hammon-ton, NJ 08037.

Besides the two Canale sis-ters, the other girls fromBreen Avenue who becamenuns and teachers are:Sister Santa Priolo.In 2001,

she celebrated her golden ju-bilee (50 years) as a memberof the Religious Teachers Fil-ippini in Morristown.Sister Giacinta Basile.In Au-

gust, she noted her 70th yearwith Religious Teachers Filip-pini. She is pastoral ministerfor St. Mary of Mount Virginparish, New Brunswick, N.J.,and also serves as a modera-tor for the Filippini commu-nity associate program.Sister Rose Vallelunga.She's

based at Elwood City, Pa.,with Religious Teachers Filip-pini.Rose's sister, Antonina Val-

lelunga, died in 2008 at age91. She had also taught at El-wood City.Sister Grace M. Scordo died

in 2006 at age 81. She was areligious teacher in the Orderof St. Lucy Filippini andbased in Morristown.Sister Rose Marzano,a

cousin of the Canale sisters,died in 1968 at the age of 34of the flu, which was compli-cated by asthma. She re-ceived her habit in 1955 withReligious Teachers Filippiniin Trenton, N.J., where shetaught at a number ofparochial schools.

Sr. Geraldine celebrates 60 years as a Filippini

PLATTSBURGH – Mercy SisterRuth Seguin, former admin-istrator of Mercy Hospital inWatertown and most recentlya tutor in the Plattsburgharea, has left the Diocese ofOgdensburg to live at MarionWoods, Hartsdale, N.Y. Mar-ion Woods is an assisted liv-ing facility on the property ofthe Sisters of Mercy whichserves four religious commu-nities.Born in Plattsburgh, the

daughter of Arthur andBertha Seguin, Sister Ruthgrew up in Rouses Point,She entered the Sisters of

Mercy in Tarrytown, NY, Aug.16, 1947 and made perpetualvows Aug. 16, 1953, takingthe name Sister Mary Pierre.

She earned a B.S. from MercyCollege, Dobbs Ferry, NY andan M.B.A. from Xavier Univer-sity, Cincinnati, Ohio, Gradu-ate School in HospitalAdministration. Sister Ruth obtained a per-

manent license as a NYSNursing Home Administratorin 1971. She was admitted asa Fellow of the American Col-lege of Hospital Administra-tors in 1974 and as a LifeFellow in 1990.“The Diocese of Ogdens-

burg was the beneficiary ofmany of Sister Ruth’s gifts ofleadership,” said AtonementSister Ellen Donahue, thebishop’s delegate for reli-gious. “In 1971, she was oneof the founding members of

the Council for Religious.”

Formerly known as SisterMary Pierre, the Clinton

County native served as ad-ministrator of MercyHospital in Watertown

She also served on theCouncil as a member from1993-1999. She was secre-tary for four years. In 1987, she wrote the His-

tory of the Council for Reli-gious: Diocese ofOgdensburg, which was pub-lished by the North CountryCatholic.During the years 1950-

1954, she taught commercialsubjects at St. John’s School,Plattsburgh and from 1954-1958 at the Loretta BusinessSchool, Plattsburgh. In 1958 she was assigned

to Mercy Hospital of Water-town to the position of Busi-ness Office Manager. SisterRuth served in various ad-ministrative positions at thehospital. In 1980, Sister Ruth was

appointed Administrator ofthe hospitalDuring the period of July

1989-September 1984, sheserved as a volunteerarchivist for the hospital alsoknown as Mercy Center forHealth Services when shemoved to Saranac Lake and

Lake Placid; and from 1999-2005 she was a tutor in thePlattsburgh area.Sister Ruth was active in

her Regional Community ofNew York, Institute of the Sis-ters of Mercy of America andserved on its Steering Com-mittee and the Advisory Fi-nance Committee of theRegional Community of NewYork.“Sister Ruth has returned

to live with her Communityin their assisted living facil-ity,” said Atonement SisterEllen Donahue, the bishop’sdelegate for religious. “Wewish her well and are grate-ful for the many gifts of serv-ice and consecrated life sheshared with our diocese.”

Sr. Geraldine Canale, MPF

Mercy Sr. Ruth Seguin moves out of diocese

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C entertainment 13

BETWEEN THE BOOKENDS

Reviewed by Sister Mona Castelazo, CSJCatholic News Service

"Good News in Bad Times"by John Lozano, "WalkingTogether" by Mary DeTurrisPoust and "Safely Throughthe Storm" by Debra Her-beck offer hope to thosestruggling to find spiritualmeaning in the midst of suf-fering. Lozano deals with obsta-

cles to spiritual develop-ment in our culture. Wedistract ourselves frominner emptiness through tel-evision, the Internet, othercommunication noveltiesand constant activities, andare therefore oblivious tothe wonder of reality callingus to reflection and trans-formation. The author suggests that

Christians can be trauma-tized by unexpectedchanges or crises because ofhaving established an illu-sion of control over theirlives. Contrary to Jesus'teachings, we place ourhope for security in militarypower, economic growthand success. Lozano quotesa recent study showing thatchildren's names are chosento "look good on their re-sumes," showing that ca-reers are valued abovefamily and relationships. In addition, we imagine

God as a comfortable forceto "pull out on Sundays."God becomes a sponsor ofthe American dream and thechurch a club, according toLozano. If we pay our duesof going to church, donatingmoney and making a faithcommitment, we feel we are"covered." God will bless uswith better jobs, careers, in-

comes and houses. The di-vine thus becomes manage-able and controllable as ahelp to self-improvement. Lozano's book shows that

spiritual deepening requiresus to be humble, present tomystery, aware of the sky,the stars and of God re-flected in the majesty of theuniverse. Second, we must"know and accept our entirehumanity in all its goodnessand all its destructive ten-dencies" in order to knowGod. Third, we need to learnnot to "play silly little socialgames" but to relate to oneanother at deeper levels.These attitudes providespiritual meanings for us intimes of uncertainty and cri-sis. Most importantly, Lozano

offers insights into suffer-ing. Change may be painful

and threatening, but tochange is to live human life.It is through accepted fail-ure, loss and suffering thattransformation comes. Thecross is an "image not ofcomfort but of hope," andChristianity is not about an-swers, he says, but aboutthe revelation of the pres-ence of God with us in themidst of all disappointmentand heartbreak. Poust's book, "Walking To-

gether," focuses on the im-portance of spiritual friendswho share deep longings,strengthen one another andpray together. The author,through personal, historical

and biblical stories, givesexamples of this type ofprofound and lasting con-nections that gives hopeand meaning to life. Saintly friendships in-

clude John of the Cross andTeresa of Avila; Francis deSales and Jane de Chantal;and Therese of Lisieux andher sisters. Poust shows thatspiritual friendships arepossible between persons ofdifferent cultures, religionsand genders. Selections forreflection and meditation

follow each chapter. "Safely Through the

Storm" is a collection of 120quotations from saints andCatholic writers on suffer-ing, hope and trust in God.Quotations include inspira-tional material such as thisfrom Pope John Paul II: "Weare not the sum of ourweaknesses and failures, weare the sum of the Father'slove for us and our real ca-pacity to become the imageof his Son," and this fromFather Henri Nouwen: "Thegood news ... (is) not thatGod came to take our suffer-ing away but that Godwanted to become part ofit." Herbeck, the editor, in-

cludes a section of brief bi-ographies of those quoted,as well as bibliographic in-formation. The intent of thebook is to offer comfort tothose suffering disappoint-ment, pain or loss.

- - - Sister Mona Castelazo, a

Sister of St. Joseph of Caron-delet, has taught English formany years in Los Angeles.She is the author of "Underthe Skyflower Tree: Reflec-tions of a Nun-Entity."

These are the covers of "Good News in Bad Times: Discovering Spiritual Meaning in theMidst of Crisis and Uncertainty" by John P. Lozano, "Walking Together: Discovering theCatholic Tradition of Spiritual Friendship" by Mary DeTurris Poust, and "Safely T hroughthe Storm: 120 Reflections on Hope" by Debra Herbeck.

Books offer hope to those struggling"Good News in Bad Times: Discover-ing Spiritual Meaning in the Midstof Crisis and Uncertainty" by John P.Lozano. Kairos Missions/Acta Publi-cations (Chicago, 2010). 208 pp.,$14.95. "Walking Together: Discovering theCatholic Tradition of SpiritualFriendship"by Mary DeTurris Poust.Ave Maria Press (Notre Dame, Ind.,2010). 192 pp., $13.95. "Safely Through the Storm: 120 Re-flections on Hope" by Debra Her-beck. Servant Books (Cincinnati,2010). 81 pp., $12.99.

About the books

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C diocesan life 3

Editor’s note: This is thesecond in a four-part seriesfeaturing Bishop TerryLaValley’s message to fami-lies. The articles areadapted from his Oct. 30presentation at the FamilyLife Forum in Carthage.

----

PART TWO:Families are....

Communities of Love

For me, the image of allof us being on a pilgrimageto the Father is a powerfulone. By virtue of our bap-tism, we have entered intothe Divine Family. Jesus,our Lord and brother, hasshown us the way to theFather. So our task is tofollow Him. But, you and I do not fol-

low Him as isolated indi-viduals. No, we followJesus as fellow companionson the journey. We help each other get to

heaven as members of theone Body of Christ, as afamily of faith. Pope Benedict, in a recent

statement, told a groupthat “the road is the same,that of life, but the situa-tions that we pass throughon this route are differ-ent…We are one family ofbrothers and sisters.”Because Christians enter

into a covenant of lovewith Jesus Christ, we arecalled to act with a con-sciousness of Christ’s pres-ence in our family lives. A family striving to place

Christ at its center be-comes the most basicChristian community: a do-mestic Church. Although it may struggle

at times, it will strive tocommunicate effectively,love deeply, forgive fre-quently, and share its val-ues with one another. Itwill also be life giving:bringing children into theworld and rearing them re-

sponsibly; developing thepotential of all its mem-bers; handing on valuesand traditions. The Christian family will

respond to a call of servicein society and church bymodeling love, gen-erosity, kindness,and caring and byreaching out to oth-ers in need.We cannot reach

out to others, wecannot get beyondourselves, we can-not live together,love each other, andwork together with-out inviting thetransforming powerof Jesus Christ intoour daily life. Prayer increases the

strength and spiritual unityof the family, helping thefamily to partake of God’sown strength. Believe inthe power of prayer! Prayer is as essential to

our spiritual life as breath-ing is to our bodily life.Without prayer, we becomeincreasingly more uncon-scious of our personal fail-ures and more acutelyaware of another person’sfailures.The family has much to

hear from God and it hasmuch to say to God, so letus pray. No one is born with a

halo and no one lives withsomeone who owns a halo.We are born into this worldas sons and daughters ofAdam and Eve. We all needredemption if we are to liveand work together in love.Nowhere is this more ap-parent than in the intimatelife of husband and wife.The wholesomeness of

the family begins with thewholesomeness of thespousal relationship. With-out regular prayer and thefrequent reception of thesacraments, it is impossi-ble to develop this partner-ship of life and love that

defines marriage.The Second Vatican

Council reminds us thatsince the Creator of allthings has established theconjugal partnership as thebeginning and basis of

human society, thefamily is the firstand vital cell of so-ciety. The family has

organic links withsociety, since thefamily (mom anddad) is society’sfoundation andnourishes it con-tinually through itsrole of service tolife. It is from the fam-

ily that citizenscome to birth and it iswithin the family that theyfind the first school of thevirtues.From their earliest years,

children should be taught,according to the faith re-ceived in baptism, to knowGod, to worship Him and tolove their neighbor. Only by praying together

with their children can a fa-ther and mother, exercisingtheir royal priesthood, pen-etrate the innermostdepths of their children’shearts and leave an impres-sion that the future eventsof their lives will not beable to erase.Because the Eucharist de-

fines who we are and is soessential to our lives, it isimportant that parentsnever excuse themselves ortheir family lightly fromthe obligation to fulfill theSunday Mass obligation. But, look at it not so

much as an obligation, buta blessed opportunity.Keep Sunday holy, exceptfor those necessary dailychores. When children are

brought up in an atmos-phere of faith, prayer, andthe regular and worthy re-ception of the Sacraments,

they are brought up in anatmosphere that valueslove. There is an atmosphere

of faith, of give and take,and a great respect of otherpersons. They learn howto sacrifice. We are depriving our chil-

dren of a tremendous les-son in life if we do notenable them to learn sacri-fice. I don’t need to tell you

that family life is hecticand fast-paced. But if weremember that faith is theunderlying foundation offamily life, a solid threadthat is part of every aspectof life for ourselves andour families, then there isplenty of time for faith,right in the midst of all ofthe responsibilities, activi-ties and tasks at hand.

In fact, faith in Christ cangive all those other parts ofour lives new and greaterfocus. Faith must informour every decision.We do not walk the jour-

ney of faith as lonerangers. An extremely im-portant mission of the fam-ily today is that of livingout this intimate relation-ship of love between familymembers always linked tothe family of faith, theChurch. Look for opportunities to

become relational, con-nected, with your localparish. You cannot simplyleave your faith at the doorwhen you leave Mass eachweek.

--- In next week’s NCC: Families are.. Communi-

ties of Holiness.

FOLLOW ME

Family: Become What You Are

BishopTerry R.LaValley

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C14 around the diocese

PRAYER VIGILPlattsburgh – A prayer vigil will held thefirst Sunday of the winter months.Place: St. Peter’s ChapelTime: 1 p.m. to 2:30 p.m.Features: Helper's of Gods Precious In-

fants prayer vigil will be held. We maynot be able to save their lives, but canwe not plead on their behalf?

DAY OF REFLECTIONEllenburg Center – OLA House of Prayerto have an Advent Day of Reflection.Date: Dec. 11Time: 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m.Features: Deacon Dennis Monty will join

us for an Advent retreat, encouraging usto reflect on Mary, the Eucharist, and thehope and promise of the season. Bringyour Bible and a journal. Lunch pro-vided. RSVP by Dec. 9 tooadirond@twcny.rr.com or call 518-594-3253. Donations appreciated.

40 DAYS FOR LIFE IN 2011Plattsburgh – Please mark your calen-dars for Spring 2011 40 days for life! AshWednesday, March 9 to Palm Sunday,April 17.

EUCHARISTIC ADORATIONPlattsburgh - Eucharistic Adoration isheld throughout the year every Wednes-day, Thursday, and Friday.Place: St John's Adoration Chapel,Time: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.Theme:“The adoration of the Lord in

the sacrament is also an education insensitizing our conscience . . . When theconscience becomes dulled, this lets inthe violence that lays waste the world”(Pope Benedict XVI). O Come let us AdoreHim—A Birthday gift for Jesus! Contact: 518-561-5083 or email us at

Sjohnsadoration@aol.com

PEACEFUL HOURWestport – St. Philip Neri CatholicChurch will be the site of a peaceful hourin preparation for Christmas.

Date: Dec. 19Time: 7 p.m.Features: Martha Gallagher, the Adiron-

dack Harper will present A Quiet Cele-bration. This beautiful program is acontemplative presentation with song,Scripture and spoken word. Price: Thanks to an unnamed benefac-

tor, there is no admission charge at St.Philip Neri although a free-will offeringmay be made.

WINTER’S GRACEBrushton - All are welcome to attend thefirst annual Christmas Contada entitledWinter’s Grace.Date: Dec . 12Time: 2 p.m.Place: St. Mary’s Church, Brushton.Features: The choir is made up of 37

voices from Brushton, Massena, Moira,Norwood, Potsdam, St. Regis Falls, SouthColton, and of different ages under thedirection of Ms. Christine Sullivan. Win-ter’s Grace tells the Christmas story usingmusic, Scripture. Prayers and poetry.Each draws together to represent

humankind’s spiritual need for renewaland redemption. Admission is free. Any-one wishing to bring a non-perishablefood item for the local food pantries isinvited to do so and can be left at anyentrance of the church.

SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL DINNEREvans Mills – There will be a spaghettiand meatball dinner to benefit the In-dian River Council 7471 Knights ofColumbus.Date: Dec. 11Time: 4 p.m.Place: St. Mary’s Parish CenterCost: Adults, $6; senior citizens, $5; chil-

dren under 12, $4; under 5, free

LIFERIGHT MEETINGWatertown - Liferight of Watertown willhold its monthly meetings on the thirdWednesday of the Month.Time: 4 p.m. Place: 312 Sherman St.Features: Liferight is a pro-life educa-

tional organization. The office hasvideos, books and educational materialswhich may be borrowed. Topicscovered: infanticide, assisted suicide, eu-thanasia and chastity.Contact: Phone 315-788-8480; website:

www.liferight.org

TO SHRINES OF FRANCEWatertown- Father Donald Robinson,is leading a pilgrimage to shrines inFranceDate: March 21-31, 2011

Cost: $2349 includes airfare, accommo-dations, and most mealsFeatures: Visit Lourdes, Nevers, Tours,

Loire Valley, Chartres, Mont St.Michel, Normandy, Caen, Lisieux, andParis.Contact: Call 782-1190.

HOLIDAY TOUR OF HOMESFort Drum – There will be a Holiday Tourof Home.Date: Dec. 12Time: 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.Place: Tour will begin at the Timbers

Community Center and end at LeRayMansion.Cost: $15 per person. Includes entry to

all home. Refreshments and snacks willbe served Features: On the tour will be 8 locations

including an apartment at the Timbers,homes in Richard Hills, the USO buildingand homes on LeRay Drive. Contact: For more information and tick-

ets contact Sonia Patton at 254-258-2850 or Teri-Gene Conlin 778-3978.

WINTER’S GRACENorwood - All are welcome to attend thefirst annual Christmas Contada entitledWinter’s Grace.Date: Dec . 12Time: 7 p.m. Place: St. Andrew’s ChurchFeatures: The choir is made up of 37

voices from Brushton, Massena, Moira,Norwood, Potsdam, St. Regis Falls, SouthColton, and of different ages under thedirection of Ms. Christine Sullivan. Win-ter’s Grace tells the Christmas story usingmusic, Scripture. Prayers and poetry.Each draws together to represent hu-mankind’s spiritual need for renewal andredemption. Admission is free. Anyonewishing to bring a non-perishable fooditem for the local food pantries is invitedto do so and can be left at any entranceof the church.

CRAFT FAIRGouverneur – St. James School to host aCraft Fair.Date: Dec. 11Time: 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.Features: Santa will visit at 1:30 p.m.

Items available will include: jewelry,woodcrafts, ceramics, stuffed animals,homemade dolls, leather goods, candles,knitted items, country crafts, Christmasornaments and decorations, baskets, etc.Paula Towne, local artist, will be doingportraits. Over 50 vendors will be there.

Lunch will be available. Price: Admission is a donation

CHRISTMAS PARTYOgdensburg – The Knights of ColumbusLadies Auxiliary will have their AnnualChristmas Party.Date: Dec. 12Time: 5 p.m. to 6 cocktails with dinner

to followPlace: K of C HallCost: Free to all paid up members; All

others, $8 per personFeatures: Reservations are required

with our choice of meat by Dec. 4. Allmembers are asked to bring in pajamasor a monetary gift in lieu of a gift ex-change. Please wrap the pajamas andmark on tag for boy or girl and the sizeso we ca donate them to the PJ’s for Kidsprogram. $15 limit.

CHRISTMAS CONCERTOgdensburg – St. Mary’s Cathedral isholding a Christmas Concert.Date: Dec. 19Time: 2 p.m.Features: This year's Christmas Concert

will feature traditional hymns and carolsfrom various cultures throughout theworld. If we need to postpone becauseof snow, the snow date will be January2, 2011, which is Epiphany Sunday. Contact: Music Director, Ernie Hadley.

393-3930

K OF C BRUNCHNorfolk – The Knights of Columbus willbe sponsoring a brunch.Date: Dec. 12Time: 8:30 a.m. to NoonPlace: Visitation Parish Center; Take-

outs availableCost: Adults, $6; Children under 12, $4;

Under 5, Free; Family, $16

NOVENA FOR MILITARYOgdensburg - Notre Dame Church isholding a weekly novena for the safetyof U.s. military personnelDate: Tuesday eveningsTime : 6:30 p.m.Place: Notre Dame Church

HOLY HOUR FOR VOCATIONSOgdensburg - St. Mary’s is holding amonthly Holy Hour for Vocations.Date: Thursday before the First FridayTime: 8 p.m. to 9Place: Deacon Winter ChapelFeatures: Nocturnal Adoration of the

Blessed Sacrament continues throughthe night, concluding with Benedictionat 7 a.m. Friday.

The North County Catholicwelcomes contributions to “Around the Diocese”. Parishioners are invited to send information about activities to:

North Country Catholic, PO Box 326,Ogdensburg, NY 13669; fax, 315-394-0670;e-mail news@northcountrycatholic.org.

Items must be received in the NCCoffice by the Thursday before publication.

CLINTON

ESSEX

FRANKLIN

JEFFERSON

ST. LAWRENCE

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C news 15

OBITUARIESAlexandria Bay – Robert E. Giltz, 80; Fu-neral Services Nov. 27, 2010 at St. Cyril’sChurch; burial in St. Mary’s Cemetery, De-witt.

Altona – Geraldine G. “Geri” LaBarge, 80;Funeral Services Dec. 2, 2010 at Holy An-gels Church; burial in St. Edmund’s Ceme-tery, Ellenburg.

Bloomingdale – Katherine K. (King) Tol-hurst, 73; Funeral Services Nov.26, 2010at St. Paul’s Church; burial in St. Bernard’sCemetery.

Carthage – Lillian Zeler Loomis, 82; Fu-neral Services Nov. 30, 2010 at Bossuot-Lundy Funeral Home, Inc.; burial inSanford Corners Cemetery, Calcium.

Churubusco – John Thomas Matthews,79; Funeral Services Dec. 3, 2010 at Im-maculate Heart of Mary Church; burial inImmaculate Heart Cemetery.

Colton – Larry P. Demo, 77; Funeral Serv-ices Nov. 27, 2010 at St. Patrick’s Church;burial in St. Patrick’s Cemetery.

Copenhagen – Lyle E. Benware, 76; Fu-neral Services Dec. 1, 2010 at Bossuot-Lundy Funeral Home, Inc.; burial in St.Rita’s Cemetery.

Crown Point – Germain (Jim) H. St.Pierre, 87; Funeral Services Dec. 3, 2010at Sacred Heart Church; burial in SacredHeart Cemetery.

Deferiet – Irene K. (Kereke) DeLosh, 86;Funeral Services Nov. 29, 2010 at St. Rita’sCatholic Church; burial in New St. JamesCemetery, Carthage.

Glenfield – Gilbert M. Thisse, 95; FuneralServices Nov. 27, 2010 at St. Mary’sCatholic Church; burial in MartinsburgCemetery.

Hogansburg – John J. Gray Sr., 85; Fu-neral Services Nov. 27, 2010 at St.Patrick’s Church; burial in St. Patrick’sCemetery.

Lake Placid – Philip H. Albright; FuneralServices Dec. 3, 2010 at St. AgnesChurch; burial in St. Agnes Cemetery.

Lake Placid –Kristy M. (Wood) Isham, 41;Funeral Services Dec. 1, 2010 at M.B.Clark Inc. Funeral Home.

Long Lake – Timothy H. Bissell, 38; Fu-neral Dec. 4, 2010 at St. Henry’s Church;burial in Long Lake Cemetery.

Lowville- Stephanie M. (Bellinger)Crouse, 32; Funeral Servuices Dec. 3, 2010at Iseneker Funeral Home, Inc.; burial inWest Lowville Rural Cemetery.

Lowville- Florence S. (Micek) Matula, 80;Funeral Services at Iseneker FuneralHome, Inc.; burial in Lowville RuralCemetery.

Massena – Joseph A. Greco, 77; FuneralServices Dec. 1, 2010 at St. Mary’s Church;burial in Calvary Cemetery.

Massena – Lorraine E. (Payette) LeRoux,90; Funeral Services Dec. 2, 2010 at Sa-cred Heart Church; burial in Notre DameCemetery, Cornwall, Ontario.

Massena – Anne L. (Lazarchuck)Kennedy, 94; Funeral Services Nov. 29,2010 at St. Mary’s Church; burial in Cal-vary Cemetery.

Massena – Clare D. (Hodge) Podgurski,83; Funeral Dec. 4, 2010 at St. Mary’sChurch; burial in Calvary Cemetery.

Massena – John D. Warriner, 44; FuneralServices Dec. 1, 2010 at St. Mary’s Church;burial in Calvary Cemetery.

Mineville – Laura B. (Rule) Granger, 82;Funeral Services Nov. 27, 2010 at AllSaints Church; burial in Putnam Ceme-tery.

Morrisonville – Michael S. Kelley, 44; Fu-neral Services Dec. 1, 2010 at St. Alexan-der’s Church; burial in St. Alexander’sCemetery.

Morrisonville – James Kenneth Luck, 83;Funeral Services Nov. 30, 2010 at St.Alexander’s Church; burial in parishcemetery.

Morrisonville – Jean M. (DuBray) Pulsifer,44; Funeral Services Nov. 29, 2010 at St.Alexander’s Church; burial in St. Alexan-der’s Cemetery.

Ogdensburg – Harold W. “Hi” Amo, 89;Funeral Services Dec. 1, 2010 at NotreDame Church; burial in Notre DameCemetery.

Ogdensburg – Karen A. (LaLonde)LaPlatney, 65; Funeral Services Nov. 29,2010 at Frary Funeral Home.

Ogdensburg – Barbara (Alton) Mont-petit, 75; Funeral Services Nov. 29, 2010at Frary Funeral Home; burial in Ogdens-burgh Cemetery.

Plattsburgh – Donald J. Bouyea, 86; Fu-neral Nov. 27, 2010 at St. Peter’s Church;burial in St. Peter’s Cemetery.

Plattsburgh – Mark E. Bouyea, 60; Fu-neral Services Dec. 3, 2010 at St. Peter’sChurch; burial in St. Peter’s Cemetery.

Plattsburgh – Marguerite Long Harran,83; Funeral Services Nov. 29, 2010 at St.John’s Church; burial in WhisperingMaples Mausoleum.

Port Henry – Benjamin Fred Winters, 85;Funeral Dec. 4, 2010 at St. Patrick’sChurch; burial in Moriah Cemetery.

Redford – Fred Reyell, 73; Funeral Serv-ices Dec. 2, 2010 at Church of the As-sumption; burial in parish cemetery.

Rouses Point – Gordon P. Duffy, 94; Fu-neral Services Nov. 27, 2010 at St.Patrick’s Church; burial in St. Patrick’sCemetery.

Saranac Lake – Valeita (Ohmann) Allen,64; Funeral Services Dec. 3, 2010 at St.Bernard’s Church; burial in St. Bernard’sCemetery.

Ticonderoga – Inza M. (Wells) Jordon, 85;Funeral Services Dec. 4, 2010 at St. Mary’sCatholic Church; burial in Old HagueCemetery.

Waddington – Timothy L. Arquiett, 37;Funeral Nov. 27, 2010 at St. Mary’sChurch; burial in St. Mary’s Cemetery.

Watertown - Mary (Fontana) Borello, 98;Funeral Services Dec. 1, 2010 at St. An-thony’s Church; burial in GlenwoodCemetery.

Watertown– Paul F. Moran, 80; FuneralDec. 3, 2010 at Our Lady of the SacredHeart; burial in Glenwood Cemetery.

Watertown– Marilyn I. (Nichols) Morgia,83; Funeral Services Dec. 3, 2010 at St.Anthony’s Church; burial in GlenwoodCemetery.

The Society For

The Propagation Of The FaithSr. Mary Ellen Brett, SSJ, Director

622 Washington St., Ogdensburg, NY 13669(315) 393-2920; fax (315) 394-7401mbrett@dioogdensburg.org

By Sister Cindy SullivanMassena native, Missionary in Ecuador

This has been quite a year for us here at the Working BoysCenter – A Family of Families. Pat Parks, our Director, hasdeclared it “The Year of Padre”… and that it has been. Father Halligan celebrated his 80th birthday at a beauti-

ful celebration in Milwaukee. Many family, friends and vol-unteers came to help the Padre celebrate his dream ofhaving each day of the year sponsored by our generousfriends.In November of this year the Padre received and split the

top honors at the Opus Prize. This is a prize given annuallysince 2004. Madre Miguel and I were with the Padre for thefestivities in New York at Fordham University for theawards ceremony. Each year the Opus Prize chooses a Catholic University to

partner with them to sponsor the award. It is comparable tothe Nobel Prize but for Humanitarian and Faith-basedworks.The Working Boys Center was chosen from over 20 candi-

dates from around the globe. When the jurors narrowed itdown to two organizations, they could not decide, so forthe first time ever the top prize was split by two finalists. The money will help us get caught up in a tough year eco-

nomically and give us a month or two to sleep a bit easier!God has continued to work his miracles for us this year as

we celebrate our 46th Anniversary. Now the Working Boys Center is a buzz with decorating,

plans for the novenas, the rehearsals of the Christmas Na-tivity plays and the parties to welcome baby Jesus. On Christmas Day we will have First Communions in each

Center and a chicken dinner for all the families. We will spend these days of Advent pondering the miracle

of the season and the reason that Jesus came into ourWorld. We will also spend the season thanking God for hav-ing you and your families be a part of our little family offamilies. We all realize that we need each other to makesome sense out of this crazy world. We need the poor to need us, and together we can con-

tinue to change this world into a better place. Merry Christmas to you and all of your loved ones from

our family in Quito! May the baby Jesus bless you with a Happy New Year!

Visit: www.dioogdensburg.org/missionofficePlease remember “The Society for the Propagation of the Faith”

when writing or changing your Will.

Christmas greetings fromQuito, Ecuador

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In this week’s North CountryCatholic we continue our focuson “family” with the second in-stallment of Bishop LaValley’smessage for Catholic families ofthe Diocese of Ogdensburg.This week, the bishop writes

more on families as communitiesof love. “Although it may strug-

gle at times, (a family)will strive to communi-cate effectively, lovedeeply, forgive fre-quently, and share its val-ues with one another,” hewrites. We encourage ourreaders to spend timewith Bishop LaValley’swords and take his timelymessage to heart.This week’s NCC also

offers a look beyond ourdomestic families to-wards the CatholicChurch as our family of faith.We are pleased to pay special

attention to our beloved religiousmen and women (pages 4, and 7through 10) and to our familymembers with special needs(page 5.) And, of course, we al-ways hold the priests of ourdiocesan family close to ourhearts. Today, we sadly bidfarewell to Father James Lamitiewhose funeral was held Nov. 29. To offer a tribute to the life and

ministry of this priest, we turnedto the man who knew him best -his brother and fellow priest, Fa-ther Bob Lamitie.Father Bob’s homily at the fu-

neral Mass give us a glimpse in-side the priest who served thepeople of the Diocese of Ogdens-burg ith exceptional devotion for57 years. Excerpts follow:

Rest in Peace, Father LamitieYour Excellency Bishop LaVal-

ley, my fellow priests, Jim's rela-tives and friends. I had bettermake this short - my brotherhated long sermons and speechesand if we were alone he wouldlean over to me and say “when isthis bag of wind going to stop?”He also had his own method tocut it short. He would fall asleepand snore.....There many calls in our life. We

are called to birth, we are calledto baptism, we are called to thesacraments and we are called todeath. My brother has experi-enced all of these callings.

Jim was also called to be apriest; in fact I think that he wasborn a priest. He was a good ex-ample of what a priest should be.He certainly lived what the read-ing of the Mass said today. He didwalk humbly with his God; Hehad deep compassion for every-one. He could never say no to

anyone in need.In these past days I have

heard from so many whotold me that they couldhave never made it with-out him. Like the Apostleshe was called to serve andserve he did.Jim took all the assign-

ments asked of him, nomatter what or how diffi-cult. He told the bishop atone of our meetings, allhe wanted is to make surethat the rectory had abathtub.

Jim was sick most of his life, infact there was a question whetherto ordain him or not. As itturned out he outlived most ofhis classmates. Yet never oncedid I hear my brother complainabout his health, which was oddsince he complained about every-thing else!Jim was a priest to the end. A

few days before his death, he wasin a deep sleep but all of a sud-den he sat up, looked at me andsaid we have to say Mass. And Isaid, do what? He said say “Mass.”I said, “We have nothing here tosay Mass”. But he answered, "ohyeah we have everything here. Ittook me some time to convincehim that we did not have to sayMass, and he fell back to sleep. On the day before he died, we

came into the room and askedhim how he was, and he said verygood. And I thought he wasgoing to do it again and go backhome. But then he said I feel terri-ble and I said - what? He said hefelt terrible that he could not sayMass for the people at WillRogers.Heavenly Father take this good

and faithful servant into yourarms. But remember that he musthave his meals on time; if youneed a fourth for bridge, he willbe there and if you play golf - youbetter count every stroke or hewill correct you on it.Well Jocko, have a good trip and

have rest and peace, you haveearned it.

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C2 Diocesan Life

MSGR. ROBERT L. LAWLERVice President

SR. JENNIFER VOTRAW, SSJSecretary-TreasurerMARY LOU KILIAN

Editor/General Manager

BISHOP TERRYR. LAVALLEYPresident

Emmanuel‘God With Us’ in a Family of Faith

By Sister Mary Eamon Lyng, SSJDirector of Evangelization

Emmanuel -“God with us” the Advent prayer that begins Matthew’s Gospelreminds us of Jesus’ assurance that He will always be with us until the end oftime. As we continue this Advent season and throughout the new LiturgicalChurch Year, the Sunday readings will focus on the Gospel of Matthew.

The whole Good News of Matthew is summarized at the beginning and theend of his Gospel. Matthew’s community had become disillusioned and dis-couraged. They had difficulty understanding Jesus’ mission that had beengiven to the disciples to “go out to the whole world and make new disciples”.

How could they do this when the temple in Jerusalem had been destroyedand their hopes and dreams had seemed to vanish?

Does it seem as if our hopes and dreams have vanished when parish familiesare struggling to understand God’s presence or when members of families’ areno longer active members of their parishes?

During this season of Advent, we have models of faith in Matthew’s Gospelwho help us understand the difficulties, tensions, and decisions that have to bemade in living as a family of faith.

hey are John the Baptist, Mary and Joseph. John the Baptist is the prophetwho prepares the way for the coming of Jesus. His bold and unflinching mes-sage was “Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand.” Joseph makes some verydifficult decisions for the well-being and safety of “the Child and Mary.” Mary’s“Yes” to the angel to become the mother of Jesus introduces us to her exampleof faithfulness to the day to day living of her call to discipleship.

How will our Advent be different this year? How can we “Emmanuel”—beGod’s presence to one another? Is there a way that you can reach out to yourbrothers and sisters who are not going to Church regularly?

Is there a “stranger” that is sitting next to you in church? Welcome them andintroduce yourself and your family. Matthew’s Gospel challenges us to reallyhear the message to repent, to be the presence of Christ to others, and to acceptthe challenge to be sent out to be “disciples in mission”.

As a family of faith, we have the assurance of Emmanuel—God with uswalking with us on the road to Bethlehem.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Our family of faith

Mary LouKilian

By Father Ron Rolheiser, OMINCC columnist

Several years ago, a friend sharedthis story with me: Raised a RomanCatholic and essentially faithful ingoing to church and in trying to livean honest moral life, he found him-self, in his mid-forties, plagued bydoubts, unable to pray, and unable(when he was honest with himself)to even believe in the existence ofGod.

Sit in humility and silencelong enough so that you can begin to hear someone

else, not yourself.

Anxious about this and lookingfor spiritual guidance, he went tosee a Jesuit priest who had a reputa-tion as a spiritual director. He anticipated the usual counsel

about dark nights of the soul andhow these are given to us to purifyour faith and, already familiar withthat literature, he wasn't expectingmuch. Certainly he wasn't expecting the

advice he received. His Jesuit guide didn't try to en-

gage him in any deep theological re-flections on doubt and dark nightsof faith.Instead, like Elisha to Naaman, the

Syrian leper, he gave my friend acounsel that sounded so simplisticthat it triggered irritation ratherthan hope: The Jesuit simply told him: Make

a promise to yourself to sit in silentprayer for a half an hour a day forthe next six months. I promise youthat if you are faithful to that youwill, by that time, recover yoursense of God.My friend, beyond being upset

with what he felt was an over-sim-plistic bit of advice, protested thatthe biggest part of his problem wasprecisely that he couldn't pray, thathe couldn't talk to a God whom hedidn't believe existed: How can Ipray when I no longer believe thatthere is a God?The Jesuit persisted: "Just do it!

Show up and sit in silent prayer for

half an hour a day, even if you feellike you are talking to a wall. It's theonly practical advice I can give you."Despite his skepticism, my friend

took the Jesuit's advice and faith-fully sat in silent prayer for half anhour a day for six months and, bythe end of that time, his sense ofGod had returned, as had his senseof prayer.This story, I believe, highlights

something important: Our sense ofGod's existence is very much linkedto fidelity to prayer. However, and this is the catch-22,

it is hard to sustain a life of prayerprecisely because our sense of Godis often weak. Simply put, it is not easy to pray.

We have easy words about prayer,but we struggle to sustain, longterm, real prayer in our lives.Prayer is easy only for beginners

and for those who are alreadysaints. During all the long years inbetween, it is difficult. Why? Because prayer has the same

inner dynamics as love and love issweet only in its initial stage, whenwe first fall in love, and again itsfinal, mature stage. In between, love is hard work,

dogged fidelity, and needs willfulcommitment beyond what is nor-mally provided by our emotionsand our imagination. Prayer works in the same way. Ini-

tially when we first begin to pray,like someone young and in love, wetend to have a period of fervor, ofpassion, a time when our emotionsand our imaginations help give us asense that God exists and that Godhears our prayers.

But as we grow deeper and moremature in our relationship to God,just as in a relationship to someonewe love, reality begins to dispel anillusion. It's not that we become dis-illusioned with God, but rather thatwe come to realize that so many ofthe warm thoughts and feelings webelieved were about God were reallyabout ourselves. Disillusionment is a good thing.

It's the dispelling of an illusion.What we thought was prayer waspartly a spell of enchantment aboutourselves. When that disillusionment sets in,

and this a maturing moment in ourlives, it is easy to believe that wewere deluded about the other, theperson we had fallen in love with or,in the case of prayer, God. The easy response then is to back

away, to quit, to see the whole thingas having been an illusion, a falsestart. In the spiritual life, that's usu-ally when we stop praying.But it the opposite is called for.

What we need to do then is to showup, just as we did before, minus thewarm thoughts and feelings, bored,uncertain, and stripped of our en-chantment about ourselves. The deeper we go in relationships

and in prayer, the more unsure ofourselves we become, and this isthe beginning of maturity: It's when I say, I don't know how

to love and I don't know how topray, that I first begin to understandwhat love and prayer actually are.Hence, there is no better advice

than that given by this Jesuit priestto my friend who thought himselfan atheist: Just show up! Sit in hu-mility and silence long enough sothat you can begin to hear someoneelse, not yourself.

---Oblate Father Ron Rolheiser, the-

ologian, teacher, and award-winningauthor, is President of the OblateSchool of Theology in San Antonio,TX. He can be contacted through hiswebsite www.ronrolheiser.com.

D E C . 8 , 2 0 1 0N O R T H C O U N T R Y C A T H O L I C16 Back pew

THE HOLY LONGING

CNS PHOTO BY NANCY WIECHECYoung pilgrims kneel in prayer inside St. Peter's Basilica in Vatican City .

Maturity in Relationships and PrayerJUST SHOW UP AND PRAY! CATHOLIC

NORTH COUNTRYNORTH COUNTRYThe Diocese of Ogdensburg Volume 65, Number 29

DEC. 8, 2010

INSIDETHIS ISSUEPope opens Adventwith prayer forlife l PAGE 11

Facing the‘marriagegap’ l PAGE 12

A NIGHT OFCELEBRATION

Families: Become WhatYou Are...

News aboutReligious

For SpecialReligious Eduction

CREATIVE ADVENT ADVENTURES

RETIRED RELIGIOUS COLLECTION: Share in the Care this weekend... pages 7-10

True faith leads to peace

MORE PHOTOS, PAGE 5

PHOTO BY ANN CHARLEBOISSt. Joseph Sister Diane Marie Ul-samer, coordinator of the Special Re-ligious Education Program inWatertown welcomes guest sto theSpecial Religious Education Thanks-giving Program held Nov. 23 at theNorth Side Improvement League, Wa-tertown. Bishop LaValley served asguest speaker for the evening.Sixth grade students at St. Marguerite D’Youville Academy in Ogdensburg help kindergarten students make Advent wreaths.

Pictured above are kindergarten student, Jordan Amo; sixth grade students, Lorraine Hollis and Haley Whitmarsh; and kinder-garten student, Emily Richter.

Sr. Geraldine Canale celebrates 60

years as Filippini; Sr. Ruth Sequin

leaves diocese after decades of service

The second installment ina four-part series featuringBishop Terry LaValley’s mes-sage to families is featuredthis week. The articles areadapted from his Oct. 30presentation at the FamilyLife Forum in Carthage.This week, Bishop LaValley

continues his reflections onfamilies as “communities oflove.”The series will continue in

the Dec. 15 issue with hiswords on families as “com-munities of holiness” andconclude Dec. 22 with “fami-lies - communities to treas-ure.”

FULL STORY, PAGE 3

FULL STORY, PAGE 4

VATICAN CITY (CNS) -- True faithcontributes to peace in theworld because it sees God asa model of love and forgive-ness, Pope Benedict XVI said.“To know God's true nature

is a real way to ensure peace.A God who is not seen as asource of forgiveness couldnever be a light on the path

toward peace," the pope saidDec. 3 during a meeting withmembers of the InternationalTheological Commission.Commission members,

who advise the Congregationfor the Doctrine of the Faith,discussed three topics attheir five-day meeting: theprinciples, meaning and

methods of theology; beliefin one God and its implica-tions for relations amongJews, Christians and Mus-lims; and ways to better inte-grate Catholic social teachinginto Catholic teaching in gen-eral. Pope Benedict said that for

Catholics, the three themes

have a common root: God'slove for his creatures. Hesaid theology reflects a de-sire to know more about aloving God. True theology uses the es-

sential tool of intelligence,combined with prayer and asense of church communion,he said.