A Note from Pastor Susan

Dear Family, How in the world are you? In preparation for Mother's Day, I offer you this classic by Erma Bombeck: “When God Created Mothers" When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands." The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way." “It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have." “That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word." “God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...." “I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower." The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed. “But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure." “Can it think?" “Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator. Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model." It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear." What's it for?" It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride." You are a genius, " said the angel. Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there.” ― Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers

The Grapevine Weekly Newsletter of La Plata United Methodist Church

May 7, 2020

In This Issue

Summer Camp Cancelled Sunday School At Home Employment Opportunity Claim Your Blessing! ASP Updates Why Did God Make Mothers? A Note From the Finance Committee Text Your Tithe “Charles County Cares” Initiative Opportunity to Participate Family Devotion Let’s Celebrate! Let Us Pray Her Love is Like an Island Facebook Find

3 Port Tobacco Road La Plata, MD 20646

301.934.2288 laplataumc.org

laplataumc@gmail.com

Senior Pastor: Rev. Dr. Susan E. Boehl

Sunday Worship Services:

8:30am Café Worship 11:00am Traditional Worship

Courage Corner

Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the

quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to

rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself.

Walter Anderson

Sunday School At Home Be sure to check out Sunday School at Home, found on our church website. Click on the image to take you to resources for your family, including videos designed just for kids. New videos are posted each week, so check them out!

BWC Summer Camps Cancelled This week our conference made the difficult decision to cancel all summer camps offered at West River and Manidokan. As they said: "the safety and wellbeing of every child is a foundational principle of Retreat and Camping Ministries and one that guided our process. Providing a haven where every child is safe, protected, and valued continues to be paramount to every dimension of the summer camp." So, enjoy family time this summer and consider a camp through BWC for summer 2021! Anyone who had registered will hear from Camps and Retreats directly about your refund. Employment Opportunity

Children and Youth are our greatest resource. They are not only the future of the Church, they are the PRESENT! La Plata Church is currently accepting applicants for the position of Director Of Christian Education and Youth Ministry. Corrie Roberts, who will hold this position until May 31, has tendered her resignation to serve God in other ways. This is a 20 hr/wk PART-TIME staff position. Applicants should submit a resume and references. At least one year experience working with children and/or youth or comparable training is preferred. If you have a heart for children and youth or know someone who does and may have an interest, please contact the church office for more information. Make a difference in the life of our church and in the lives of the younger members of our church family. Position specifics are available upon request. Deadline for applicants is June 1. Thank you!

Claim Your Blessing! At La Plata Church, we are claiming this time in our lives as the season of Miracles! Now, more than ever, we need to double down on God's provision and power in spite of the world. You can have a part in this, by claiming your miracle or blessing and making a small video about it. Send a video giving praise to God about some way he is breaking into your life and where you are seeing God in action! Then, send it to the Facebook page of Mark Stancliff, our Technology Chair. Your video will be included in one of our worship services so we can all praise God together! We will be concentrating on God's mighty acts for the next few months, so keep an eye out....the miracle of birth....the uniting of spirits in marriage......healings...... God making a way when you thought there was no way..... God is still at work! Catch him in the act....and share!

Proverbs 31:25-28

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the

teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of

idleness.”

ASP Fundraisers Also, as a result of COVID-19, we lost two of our best fundraisers . . . the Soup, Stew & Chili Cook-off and the Mexican Fiesta. As restrictions relax and we are permitted to gather once again, we will explore the potential for rescheduling these events. In the meantime, we are planning to continue with

our bench building project as both a fundraiser and tool training for our youth. These sturdy benches are 48” long; made with pressure-treated lumber and are paintable or stainable. Each bench sells for $100 and we will deliver to any location in the commuting area. Please reply to John Carns carns@comcast.net or 301.848.0060 (text) to let me know how many benches we can make for you.

ASP Team to Make Local Home Repairs As another way to keep our teams together and active, we are looking for some local ASP-like projects to work on this summer. If you or you know of someone in our church or community with a dire need please let me know and we will see if it is something we are able to assist with. This can include but not be limited to: decks; ramps; flooring; dry-wall repair; painting; miscellaneous repairs, etc. We would expect the homeowner to reimburse for any materials required to do the work. Thanks and stay tuned regarding re-scheduling of cancelled events.

The Grapevine Editor: Sherri Hastings

Publisher: Karen Hamner Circulation: 750

Weekly deadline for submitting articles is Wed. at 4pm.

This Past Week

195

166

Facebook Views Preacher’s Pop Up Prayer

Church Income

$ $ $ $

11,056 14,750 8,130 10,403

Apr 12 Apr 19 Apr 26 May 3

Appalachia Service Project Updates ASP Summer Program Cancelled As with so many other things this year, ASP’s summer program was cancelled to insure the well- being of homeowners, volunteers and staff. The hardest part of this is that upwards of 500 families will not get much needed home repairs and will endure another year of leaky roofs, rotting floors, sub-standard bathrooms and not enough safe access in and out of their homes. Because the need is on-going and ASP staff works year-round to prepare for the summer program, our volunteers have generously agreed to donate a portion of the fees we have already paid for this years trip to ASP (to off-set their on-going expenses) and to apply some funds to our 2021 trips.

Why Did God Make Mothers? Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your Mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats alot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. What's the difference between moms and dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home, & dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. What would it take to make your Mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back of her head ~ From "Why God Made Mothers: Second Graders' Answers About The Women In Their Lives"

A Note From the Finance Committee 2 Corinthians 9:7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. Thank you for your generous giving! During this time of great uncertainty and hardship, we praise God because La Plata UMC continues to receive offerings to sustain our ministries in the face of interruptions caused by the COVID-19 virus. We have been able to meet our expenditures with the help of your faithful gifts. Last week, the Finance Team reviewed the financial statements for the first quarter 2020. Our total income for the quarter is under budget, yet only slightly less than the same quarter in 2019 (less than 2 percent difference). We are humbled and inspired by the generosity of our church family. With the church facilities closed, we have increased digital giving options. Now in just seconds, we are receiving offerings to La Plata UMC via a text message. We also continue to your receive offerings via snail-mail and online giving. As we begin the second quarter and church facilities remain closed, we are assessing income and expenses to mitigate potential financial stress. We are seeking government grants to assist with payroll and we’ve taken steps to lower monthly utility costs. The Baltimore-Washington Conference is also helping churches in the conference with financial relief. Local churches will not be billed for the local church component of the Conference Sponsored Pension and Health Benefits Plans for April through June 2020. This waiver will not impact the benefits received by any of the participants. We are in unprecedented times, and we will make it through. We are people of hope and witnesses of God’s grace. We continue to be amazed and inspired by your generosity. Thank you!

Text your Tithe

In less time than it takes to write a check, you can make weekly offerings by sending a text message. Just read the instructions below of how to get started and you can continue to support the work of our church by texting your tithe.

“Charles County Cares” Initiative End Hunger in Charles County, LifeStyles, and other organizations are working on a program that will allow those in need to receive food, toiletries and information about resources during this COVID 19 Crisis. This initiative, Charles County Cares, is designed to allow for the delivery of groceries, meals, toiletries, etc., to eligible homebound individuals, curbside pickup of same, and promotion of operational food pantries. End Hunger in Charles County: Services Available during the COVID-19 Crisis End Hunger in Charles County is working collaboratively to provide emergency food, prepared meals, and other meal items to children and households in need. The goal is to work in a coordinated effort to maximize all available resources and to avoid duplication of effort. The organization will assist existing programs through funding and other resources as needed. We have partnered with agencies to provide the following services in Charles County: · Community Cabanas: LifeStyles is working with volunteers to build, install, and maintain ten cabanas throughout the community, located in areas such as Waldorf, La Plata, Indian Head, and Nanjemoy. These cabanas will provide necessities, such as toiletry items, ready-to-eat food, and water, for those in need. This drive-through process will be maintained by volunteers who will provide services each weekday from 11am – 3pm. This is done through a partnership with End Hunger and Charles County Government. · Meal deliveries: LifeStyles in partnership with other providers and Charles County Public Schools are coordinating the delivery of meals for households with school-age children that are not able to access the daily school meal distribution sites, to seniors who are homebound, and also for those that are homeless that need access to nutritious meals. These meal deliveries are scheduled for weekday deliveries, utilizing homebound delivery protocols developed by the Maryland Food Bank. When the purchase of groceries is more efficient and economic, it will be used as an alternative. Households must be pre-approved and requests for same-day delivery may be considered, but not a guarantee of availability. · School meal sites: Charles County Public Schools has 11 drive-through sites throughout the county to provide three meals for children 18 and under from 11am – 1pm Mondays through Fridays. Educational materials are also being distributed at that time. Children must be present in the vehicle to receive food. Southern Maryland Food Bank is providing groceries at these sites on Fridays to assist families. · Curb-side Food pantries: End Hunger has provided an updated listing of sites that are currently operating to provide non-perishable food items to the community that last from 3 – 7 days. Persons are served without direct contact, and information is collected from staff and volunteers via phone, email, or from a social distance. This list of food pantries will be maintained frequently as the situation changes. LifeStyles is currently providing curbside food pantry services from its satellite Waldorf location each weekday from 8am – 4pm. The link for pantries and meals in Charles County continuing service during this time is https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1z_I3HvqqMTjtUmjaCP70_CCZ-3wvsI9tqoUbHk2Ev-c/edit?ts=5e7b5294#gid=1433775003

· Groceries: End Hunger in Charles County will provide grocery gift cards to persons to purchase grocery items to supplement pantry items or to homeless individuals to access hot meals from grocery stores when appropriate. End Hunger will coordinate with local farmers to purchase food for families that have cooking facilities and are able to prepare their meals. · Hot meals: Southern Maryland Food Bank is providing hot meals through the Meals of Hope mobile unit at designated locations throughout the county that are considered food desert areas, i.e., Cobb Island, Bryans Road, etc. Our Place is also providing curb-side hot meals at their location in Waldorf on Designated days (to be determined). Please call if you are in need or have donations. · End Hunger in Charles County: 301-383-3683 · LifeStyles: 301-609-9900

Opportunity to Participate FAMILY! Now is the time! Help is needed to care for the vulnerable among us. Let us roll up our sleeves and work for the community and her welfare. Please see where the Lord is urging YOU to help! Charles County Cares – Community Cabanas We Need Help! Ten “Charles County Cares Cabanas” are being constructed, measuring 4’x3’x6’, and placed in strategic locations around the county. These Cabanas will contain bags of non-perishable food items and water, toiletry kits, and information about available resources. Cabanas will be open five days a week, Mondays through Fridays, from 11am – 3pm. Families and individuals will be able to pick up bags each day. Cabanas will be stocked daily with 50 bags of food and 50 bags of toiletry. The first cabana was placed at the New Hope Church of God in Waldorf on Monday, March 30th with four more scheduled to be placed soon. The remaining cabanas will be put in place as they are completed. We will eventually need 3500 meal bags each week, but for now we estimate needing 1750, to have 50 bags of food at each cabana. The same is true for hygiene kits. Volunteer Staffing of the Cabanas We desperately need volunteers to commit to a one-hour time frame to stand (or sit in your car) at a six-foot distance from the cabana to instruct individuals to limit themselves to one bag per person. You are NOT expected to enforce rules or engage with clients. A sign-up volunteer list has been created on the following website: https://www.signupgenius.com/go/508094FA4A92BA4FB6-charles1 Volunteers will be assigned to Community Cabana Captains. If volunteers are sick, have potential COVID-19 symptoms, or are considered the ‘vulnerable population’ during this COVID-19 virus pandemic, we ask that you not volunteer. Persons must be 18 years old to volunteer. Volunteers should not bring children to the site with them. Food and Toiletry Donations We also need volunteers to donate non-perishable food items and toiletry items, and to bag those items for distribution. The process and suggested ingredients are detailed below. You are instructed to wear gloves and to wash your hands often with soap and hot water. Donors can have them pre-made in bags or drop off assorted requested items. Donors are asked to call LifeStyles at 301-609-9900 or End Hunger at 301-383-3686 to state they will be delivering items, so staff are available to assist. Donations can be made daily from 8am – 4pm. Cabana Captains can access additional bags from the Fuller House. If volunteers are donating checks or items but have not assembled them into bags, they can drop them off at the Fuller House located at 3470 Rockefeller Court, Waldorf, MD 20602. Checks should be made payable to End Hunger in Charles County. Please write COVID19 food in the memo. Thanks and God bless you!

Hygiene Kits: Items Needed (Male/Female/Child)

Shaving Cream Shampoo (Family Size Optional/Travel Size Preferred)

Lotion Conditioner (Family Size Optional/ Travel Size Preferred)

Razor (Optional) Hand Sanitizer (if possible)

Floss (Optional) Pads/Tampons (Women’s Personal Care Items)

Toothpaste Comb/Brush (Optional)

Toothbrush (Individually Wrapped) Deodorant

Mouth Wash (Alcohol-free/Optional) Soap/Body Wash

Anytime Bags/Lunch Bags: Items Needed (Nonperishable Items Preferred)

Tuna Lunch Kits/Chicken Salad Kits Cookies

Vienna Sausages Slim Jims

Chips Apple Sauce

Water 16 oz (Preferred) Fruit Cups

Juice (Bottle or Boxed/Optional) Microwaveable Spaghetti, Ravioli, etc.

Crackers Plastic cutlery/napkins

Family Devotion How is everyone doing? Getting restless or keeping busy? Today's Family Devotion seemed timely since being with each other all the time may present times of frustration more often. Hang in! Get outside and do something fun! Another question you could pose is: What should we do when we get frustrated with someone?

Thursday, May 7 Caroline Gray Anna Lancaster Friday, May 8 Ken & Doris White-65 Ralph McAfee Saturday, May 9 Baylen Caldwell Alex McAfee

Sunday, May 10 Susan Morris Lucy Mudd-13 Monday, May 11 Daniel Skinner Tuesday, May 12 Nathan Albrittain-7 Samantha Chiriaco James McWilliams Evan Williams-16

Thursday, May 14 Caitlin Grace Saturday, May 16 Frank Pope Nicholas Skinner-8

For our friends and family who are living in nursing homes, and assisted living or home bound:

Tom Berry Wade Beswick Karyl Beverage Margaret Bowie Frank Brinson Patricia Buckler Sue Carns Jennifer Carpenter Jerome Church Cathy Compton Harolly Coombs Joyce Dean Lane Duque Sandra Fykes Remy Zachary Gordon

Carl Greene Laurie Hamilton Peggy Hamilton Randy Hill Christina Kingsbury Francis Lewis Donna McKenzie Ed McKenzie Johnny McPherson Renee Nash Carl Occhipinti Frank Quinn Mary Beth Reckeweg Melissa Faith Rollins

Crystal Rupprecht Patty Rupprecht Donna Sarnacki Tabitha Schneider Carol Sorenson Rosalie Snyder Don Stapleson Michael Stewart Brian Thomason Jeanette Tull Sandy Tull Linda Valente Cora Westmoreland Mike Williams

Let Us Pray

Ann Bergerstock Lennis Bridgett

Iris Dickerson Sharon Ferguson

Mike Merritt

Medical personal as the put their lives at risk caring for those with Covid19. Researchers as they strive to develop a cure for this virus. The leaders of our country, may the Holy Spirit be present at every meeting as they keep us informed. Our Pastors as the continue to find new ways to minister to their flock and keep us all connected. For each other that Christ will calm our fears and keep us safe.

Continue to pray for:

Let’s Celebrate! Birthdays & Anniversaries

For our friends and family who have medical issues:

Her Love is Like an Island

Anonymous

Facebook Find

Mother’s love is like an island, In life’s ocean vast and wide

A peaceful, quiet shelter From the wind, the rain, the tide.

’Tis bound on the north by Hope,

By Patience on the west, By tender Counsel on the south

And on the east by Rest.

Above it like a beacon light Shine Faith, and Truth, and Prayer;

And thro’ the changing scenes of life I find a haven there.