the further adventures of an idiot abroad

8/14/2019 The Further Adventures of an Idiot Abroad

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ALSO BY KARL PLKNGTO

THE WORLD OF KAL PILINGTON

PPYSLAPPED B A JELISH

ALLOG

AN IDIO ABROAD



FU ADVEN

AN �DIOT ABRoKARL NTO

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FIRST PUBISHED IN GREA BRIAIN IN 2012BY CANONGAE OOKS LD, 14 IGH SREE EDIBRGH E1 E

WWW.CANONGAEVIS DIGIA EIIO IRS PBISED I 202 B CAOGAE

BOOS

COPRIG C AR PIIGON 212COVERSAIOS COPRIG C RIC GERVAS AD SEPE

MERCA2012

E ORA RIGS O E AORS AVE BEE ASSERED

POOGAPY COPRIG C REDDIE CAIRE 2012IUSRAIOS COPRIG C DOMIIC RVE 2012AlJllllONA O OAY

PAGE ERE COPRIG C RA BURIS 202PAGES HER COPYRIG DEBORA SCHILD, 2012

PAGES ERE AD ERE (UDERWAER HOOS)COPRIG RODE FOX 2012

BRIISH LIBRAR CAAOGUIG-INPBICAIO DAAA CAALOGE RCORD FOR IS BOOK IS AVAILAE ON REQES

RO E BRIISH LIBRAR

ISB 978 0 85786 749 0EXPOR ISB 978 0 85786 886 2

eSB 978 0 85786 79 0



gig o eliving pae ba itr. ut y di aystrik e a aeru at h tie and hy a rve a uro

Okay, said iky abut e ak a big is a yo canchoe a yo an o o frm hat

I h e i t lik a going t b i cono, so agree.

Thi bok ells te tie o h hing chse o d l hextra hing ta icky and tve te in ag h ay Taa h pan ayay but e I at on t it te ok Ieaied hat betn h firt ri a h sond ri hlaet ima ecial it Waick Davi, a al te oter

nd tf 'v i y i 'v tuy tid o ohan 60% f te Bke Li. kon ta' got t b so sort oe. o i te d I've ecid to ite abo a f te aals to i a inion or t on th aiing tigs on telit Mot f tee are hing ta hav neve apald, like:

Ti i en pp have it aay in h oit a pane. gess his epains hy hre alays uu ever I

te 0 a ight. ih ey'd ue te ye hyue at h prket ea une e hy give yo aick wih u hc h pil coud n thn it yo tn o ue te toit Tis ha got t b safrthan eole sod uig in h ais

I gusig hre but b pp only o h il igclub ting on he ota joney as aftr o ek fbing aay i oe yo're ally ik o thm and

old ahr t th iight mvi Al it te rurnjoney en oilets g bck u veyone avingddgy g ae aig feig od O y lig bak m



India there's no way anyoe could have ad a omantcmoe thee aer te state I lef .

So at's the book Sig dow to wrte it as been a ce wayto u p hree yas of tavelling.

Wat foows is the ogia st of e 100 thgs I codcoose fo As yo ca see, kcng a dck the rse wast o



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How muh ave yu lad o watig T? I ar tatvinegar is a go tain ove It' oething I ick p mwatching Kim and Aggie of ow lean or o

A wi ag t Briti backackrs wh got st i aMalaysianjgle said tey sviv haks t ti hy pike ufm watching te T surviva exet ay Mars Tey aihy' w wat vey epid f Ray ars i as hsitation ve rp p agai u tik what hy' bhrugh wold ave p tem f h prgrame a it woldbring bak bad ei f tei near-dat xprie. t woldb like An Fak watig ah n th

Th dvic ckcks m bing ls ws hyu old ow a watrcoe ownstream a that wold ladyu t te castne. 'm jut glad it was Ray as hbakpakr a watced If it ha bee rc Pary hy' stillb lst bt wu w obably be teir tit afe kig tebak f a txi ta. hi t m wondring if any haevr oted f te survival tactics ofrd p by Bea Gry. earis a bit me xte ha ay. yu sai t Bea, Im hg I u at a scabby hse' h wu oably ay olate. 'v eaten it a In one hw e wa vre in blod agts after stripig a ael. hn wnt on t exlai hat tecaa ak a xcellet makesift ig bag I on't wantto m acss all oiloks hre but ow mc s are yugig to gt insie a cam It ut be h worst ial to ue aa bed I' got a m on it, for a tart I ave h ng tat i

Ba ise h last bs hm wen i gla e'd probabybrak into Lond Zo and tragle a giae sleeping baghn k a cule o Koala bas wh hs at it t make a ai osprs, ate tan jut get a ab Ayway, i yo eve yur i tis situati, haig k a am t leep i, ayur clotes a cove i bostains try vig

I've nevr be in a oiti we I've ad t s proesviva tchniqes My brote and hi ates tok vr th hu

whn e ma and a we on hliday I m oe oworkig nigts t soe bk a a wman i m bahr pair f angrs i e am and da' be, a a uleon h sfa, so dd p sig in h ca That abut as tog



as i's gt m, s ti i wy I ick a nigt a drt isandfm te ukt ist I togt it wu test m a ittle lu, o allh tigs on te Buket Lit ' say tis is h mst ppwold ke t d wa iagining h TV avrt f te otybar. or any wh han't een h advet, it ivved a woaon a really nice aaise-tye beac. Nhing ke th bach wall spnd ur oday Thre wa no wased-u eawepatic bott ead jelly no onkys leavig sitevrywe, or seaglls makig a rackt It wa jst h prfectba wit ligt ble a A conut p o a am te acaks o o lav a Bny ba wih a ba coon-d

chcoat w by rigts, I obt te wman w hav been ufor ating hcoat sc a ot ay I tik hd have beeme in h mo f a Magm lly, bt pttig hat asie ekon mst pp wh av n te avrt wold be iaginighi am image a e if tey we t ick tis f tei cktList.

Luke te iet aid I u take a ew bit and pi witm tat igt ce in hay or my ight on h isand I ndd

u packing a ligte a ll o gafa tae, a Stay k acswd/wac bok m tring, bicit, tot ap anda ma ovel.

I wu b staying a iand in Vanuat a pa i te SuthPacific I' vr hard o h lac We I tld eole we Iwas gig hy adn't ear f it iter Suzan ught e agb whn I tartd traving I old ut tt stike al

h la ha ee to, bt hi globe dit ev inclueVaatuI wa tld tat it wasn't ib t get a it ligt to

Vaatu de to a asiv ash u o a voa i Cile hatwas cauing s, so w ee u yig to Syy and teon to ew Zala whre w stayed h nigt. ught we' bgtting ahr ight st hing, bt hat was t to b te asI wk u to a viceail frm Stpe



STEPHN: H arl. know yo're proay wakig ui Qunstw a thinking whats ging on he I t yowhat, Riky a we talking, a we jst hught it wol ma f y t g a te way to h eet isand and tstp of in ew Zeala to exeince wat aly i teutiate Buket it aic h geejmp w efeyu start sceig a huting ging, N 'm t gigto o i' jst hink aut it Wv gt a ul o ues adreane guys, yu know, hy know all aot it asafety is hir otimm I kw yo' e rctant

bu Im ayi g i he, e a you hink of i, on'jug it straigt away. ts sohig tat Ricky and wantto , I kw it mtig h viwrs wat e, sjstg with a oe i arigt. ip f h pat, i'l eove in ecs A it w e ai and a. Aright, sodt let s dw, mat Ejy it. y

Thi really anoyed e He wa te fthst away e ven ro m a yet h ha till managed t any e orehan eve. ' me it la t hm at te vey ginig tat hiwas exatly te hing I wa not u f oing I remr ing sati tei fice we tey to m aut te uk ist iea andStepe entid ung juping, a I ai If tat' te orto hing yo'll e suriig e wih, yu wasting yo tie'cs I' t inteted' i' vr i sond wa' te pit Idt lik arty popr co te aot f jyt veu tetim it tak t clean h p i not wort it. a wit ctti

uke te iet tri t ince wat thn sage hadalay ai ao it ig safe and hat te ues' wo wold etaking e o it ll h tim and wold e m t y fears,whi ie me o eve ore a it not a far at s to atn. ' hay tat my ai dest tik it a go ida to

jup f ledges hat a ig p To m tat ea it oing itsjo ta's h ati it sold have. know my rai in't veyitrst in mats or plitics, wih any e at ties ut tatdesn't pt h est o my oy in any angr, so s fa as I'



concened i's a far' a ds ghing Ive ea fkupunoha, wh as yo an is sa o ons.The was a woma on h ws wo ha i so a sh olevn si and wah e kids' V progam Bo oon waslik a hr vie h and se u ur T of ove, ase a wold nvlv me us. Now, has a farha nes aing

I vi e as ey d make am mvis anyore is ause e suns h used o o longr imss us as ep o ha sf a w hsdayafron i a fe ea ildng sssion. v swayee ro manags ge hs a ars no aps soh ca d a and jup wih is ha f epamn. alsoae eda advae wu eole sil iskijig emsevs i ey kw dc wu a oai ei kn ars a gs? I I wked a A& I

wold p ayone wo as an ace ong ay o hav a h ak f e ue and s u eole wo haveha a genune ace s.



I wa argig wih Luke ao y reasons for wanig od i we a fw ca ees ped my ow. lok osidwhre wo yung ellas i a capr van wre shing y ae. we o on o h ay.

BLOKS: W g a call fro yur ma icky andSepe, a ey wa s o ok ae yo oy hw yoa w sig i e avnur capia o h woruown.

KARL ah We 'veju een saying, I' iiy gee jmig.

BLOKS: W know yue no ungejuping, ey,yull alg ae. s ha u m on wllsow yu ao ae Yo' i is aifl pa ocoe ow .

Thir nam re a a yle. ey so okig u a efm eir grai-ved came van. ey sem frielyeugh, if rs one ig ha desn' wk wh m, i'spp ing or m o o smig. h re hy oreh ore y an figh agai i I've ri e my ai hgs bu gs h. I a mbps ds o o ades frm yars ag. y a once e m

ha y h ie I g hm I wu eme e nur pao a ar i f f s. ca s em i now I wa a maroFor ri, giaion 89 O. Why as my rai hsn s a i o iormai Wha u i i I an veneeme y Nional Insance nur. y i des wha iwa.



SAM: know yure not tat ke bgeejming, btwe' t yu a li bit abut it becas i's fatastic yull love t!

KYL: Saf as huses ate. Nhng a go wg.

SAM: Nhng a go wong . . ost f te tim

KYL: Its a absote s ttal anali s yulove t.

KARL d lik it. dt t. onesty 'm tmssig. dt d anali ses.

SAM: Why is hat

KARL eas I av eugh stress n e lif

KYL: Tis ill ease a te stss ot.

SAM: And tt s te whle ont. take tat shit ut fyur lif

KARL N it won't ase it, it'll ak it wors

SAM: t won't.

KARL t will! u know notig abo m Y'vejstu u n ik n' kw. dt lik tat ki o age

I ae in fro h bay. uke to hat am, te tar oh tw was a dctor wich sised m, b hn spos

dctors a surgs d av to av a bit o a d streak in temto o h jbs ty d. Nal pp woldn't b able to eovelungs ro soeone's est a rmain calm



Luke te iet akd e t g ag f te rie wit Sama yle a witnes te d ajm. A w dv we takedabut y concens. ey tied to it t e by ayig hat itwold al b ove in eigt ecs, b hat isn't a go nogeaon t d it Eigt second f jy isn't wt hvig. t' thsae reason I n't etand wy pp eat oyste. hy'only in te mut a scond Sam ai I old isove wo Ieay am by dig a bunge. hp by w age 38 know whI a. f 'm actuay soeone e wat a wast all h yearhave bee

SAM: er is a pit o ma to it and tat' it,jutemba h as and adit hre's soeing wrongwih e e

KYL: mbrace lh i ine.

SAM: a.

KYL: Lt t iiot ut

KARL ayb hats it hugh, mayb my idit is aways ot it desn't e to d bge

KYL: Wat yo thinking, man?

KARL kay, Im apy to tand h g 's I want tgive yelf te a to d it if y brai wans to



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I ag t g ut t h ledge t ee f my a got h ge tleap, t [ ad t e wgh o ta tey kw h g oo gee o ue and I ad o g a wav f. We mado way v o te ung pato n a typ f ca ca ta

w 4 v v v wtpd f he a a, ak wnt o pk u pp h ea eg ta y te m t gt ack o te latfm I wuhave jmed f a e ay f y eu Lod k uc wapayg o f pak, wh pem wa o get yo ueu ay f te jup I to te dle o te patom ke aap y pe w

I wa ntdced Pl a ony-taled nuto, wh wa n

chag o aey He ad m at a ca n t ap yakle ogeh and ok e on t h mav gee cd Ah ot I ll kw f wanted t o t Id tpedayg dnely ' and wa wllng o what apned

Ph xpaned h ce we gona p yu a t oakle ff, g o o h dge and yuvejt g t tn o uOK? Nhng ad ca hapn yu ave ta g Yo'

gna ge h elg yuv v ha n yu lf uaat. o, h da yue gona o a ne g wa dv ojtlk gong t a wmg po, OK? A y p an yo dhat o gna g own yol njoy a ule o,a w ng yu ak u.

Ph ad all h vey aly n th am t hat a gotatwold e to chang h m f oe wo wa hnkngaut omtg ue y jmg of a g te dfenc

ng e wa tyng t ge m o jm. u m o te gwh y akle und I not aa o hght wa qehapy okng o a te muna and akng n t fe a wa te da o leag hat I ut gt y a und



At h tage st wasn't e was gng to o t or t. yhart wa ong a was w aware o y eavy batg.Th pator hok a te cable car drop of ore pole.

KARL hrs a ue vr hre f eole watng t dh! 've be n Nw Zeaand or undr 24 os 'vhardy see ay pol and te ot eole Iv n areqeung u to d a bung

SAM: at' wat eole m t Nw Zeaand or Travto te tp f te w to jup f t a Th te ot

KYL: I beeve yu ca d h b.

KARL ah, bt dt b sayg tat. Ar yu gg to bedapnte if dt d ts

SAM: N but w'll be stoked yu d.

KYL: Yea wll b ove te o yu d

SAM: er only yo ts t abut ayone e. t' notabut wh want yo t d ts Yo'r h only eon tatca make yo jup f h edge. t'sjut yo ad tat pacebtw ea a tota xtet

KARL y ban s sayng no

SAM: coe t

KARL y tac's sayng d b stp'

SAM: ur etre bng s sayg ts st mkg see'

KYL: Yet tes a lttle bt te tat ayg d t

KARL N aven't got tat bt Im not harg hat

KYL: Yo'r ot e now, arn't yu



SAM: ts ha tt elemnt hat wat t k tge, hatwat t re te lgng . .

HIL OK y ay

KARL , hang a nut Er .



KYL: ! !

SAM: ts proving to yoe hat yo an Uietn hat vice

i yo ha at say on't o it

Thi i te at dt undrsta. urely yu ol te toh voie i yu ha. t's wh yo to listeing t tat vicehat yo get yuself into trob If I idn't ste t it at hipit, wold it vr seak to m again? I wol if I wa it

Th problem i, tee ay yo hav t te to to any ato yur bdy. mties I go wit y gut feng, sm say gowih wat yo eat says its only a mattr o tim bor myapeix will have an pii Tis is prbably why he are somany eline s days o one kws wh to boy te to

My left g tt to sak uncontllaby lik it was tyig towalk away fm te g

KARL ok me t leg is mving and m rigt leg isn'tdig anyting

KYL: Ta' noral a Pu dw on yu hl tha'llstp it.

KARL ah, bt whats it saying t m? Wy is it gtting

ivoved

KYL: Yo l g is gig s h adreane is uiga ursing tugh yo vins gt now

KARL ig. 'm gtting te ruh f adran wihutstping of s why go urhr

HIL We yo ave tat eg ta' we yu get it,hat s whn h eorpi kick in ta' we yu get teward o, what yo've got t d i take a oe f eebreah agai Yo an o tis, wk wih e. Were going



to go to te g, lok u yo'v ha a ok wn yoknow what t lk own te I want yo to lok p, Iwat yu t nd hat otan ut te, h hne, foon t. W gv yu te untdw, ' gona b te, two,one ort cotown. G t O yu lave tat g,bo! ta' tjb d Yo'r gna be ablutygggng, I e yu Kar, to hnkng abut t

KARL ut I'e got t thnk abut t

HIL Don't tk to mc!

HIL Jt let g tp tenng to tat tg yur ha.

KARL N bca hat what yo hu t t n lf

HIL o, y oldn't not alway. ull vr gtaywhe yu tn to hat a h te.

Th mo tat to chang Te ter bgee mp wergttng patn and otg a tey we gettg t fwatg. pos tey'd hyp thmelv p to o t a now wa gttng n te way a gvng te n vo ore t tomake tem recodr, whh t go we yve bablypa arund £3 to d h. ak tem t ht p, a I uthnk taght wh a te noe



HIL Don't tik abut it to mch ure gna go fit!

KARL N.

HIL Yes, yu a

KARL N.

HIL Yo have got it, mat

KARL N.

HIL I' a yo. ok p, fcu

KARL N.

HIL Jst le it ape

KARL N.

HIL We ona cot yo own.

KARL N t uhing m

HIL I want yu to ay ys I m oig on t h bak fyu . .

KARL N n, I wate m to ay ys, I not ayig y,i's evey lse saing e.

HIL OK w say yes.

KARL N!

SPCAO: Sta on a ai o ba and get ut te

KYL: Yo'r bing W abut it art y Go , gto he at



SAM: Ca I get yo a tise or hat vagia

KARL ay wat yu wat, it dest bhr me

KYL: Tughn p

I h e I ied t te to te voi in y ea a not oit. a a yle di tog. ey dit hang a a g am a hink abut wat tey we abot to d. y gt oku and jmed itot okig dw a dit give tie fhir ine voi to get a wor in. ey ca bak p woooohnlody but notig mae e want to d it. a way I wa uo h fact said no T hi ay, hre i not bit f e tatwised I ad d te bung. wondr hw ay pol e pdig it e sur frm sectats staig by yelling ath h way hy di wit m How many o h a braveugh t ay ? w may o h ep w o it forhsve if one wa watig? 'v alway ben qite god

at t oing tis I idn't want t d. Wh wa yung haloas o mat wo di dat hing ke if glu a ga but Ialway ai . had a find whs ambition it wa t work in acobbrs jut f te ee ll o ge. h y te I tok gswas by aiet at a ub qiz Thre wre loas o olatebrwnis on h tab. wandred abut o table to tabeatig thm We et I ailed a taxi, bt we e aked whr Iwat t g cldn't rembr. t turned ot Id been eatighah caks I a to it te avment f ages bore myads cae bak t . ut an still embe te blody gpat o hat aon ord rion thugh

Sam and Ky sai tey kw I was neve going t o te jma ad t p ahr activity. hy tok m t a gl ur, btt f go . . tat wu b to bing or a eon in hipart o h worl. hy wanted m t xprie orbig. '

ve ear f it Thy ad a uge bbe ball at n h ogcloe t h furtt hle. hy ak e to clib i Ky hnstarted puring i watr ro a big m I wan't xpting his qicky zip u te hle. hy tat to it. was bing



thrw all over th la It wa ike eig i one o thm allyu ut i te wahing mai that a otr i it Te watrwied aut nching e Thi ut e wat i f ike eiga ay i th wm. t wa ot in thre and th ell o warm tp o ing hck arund mae e f eay ikIt' not vn if it lok o So pp might o geejuping and ky diving ' thy think it give of a mao okt zoring n't ven give yo that It te ort o thing yuwoldn't ag aut I elt ik a amte i a wh

I wa wried wa going t ik, whi cud dangrowhi traped i a mving all a u e p hkig. S y a te wear wor I knew at te to f y vie. eyevntuay tp it roig. yle ai I oldn't v cloed thetra a th ore watr that i te all te mte te rie.That o ioration may a w orgt aot a ' vegig zoring again. N one ol go zorig. thik th allold e for hiting furite tat' to eavy t carryShv in a ig telly and thn rll it own th ad



Bore hy yle gav e a bow-u kii te atialbir as a ment. wated a progam he bis agag and remred hat tey mat or lif Soe have beenknown to b tghr f year, b I on't kw wy teymake u a big da abut it I ut it dw t tem all loking tesae I' pretty i all e a all wman lok te samhre woldn't be a ay ivc. Wh I kiwi fat,evn tog it has wigs its a ight bird a refrs t keepits feet te gund ke e. And it sp ding te ay, whihwas sohig wish I ol o as h jt lag was killig e byhi oit

I a icky and tld hi I idn't o h bunge a wasthapy abo big pt i te ituati He ad sm chikenis: £ 1 0 a ite and e' oing icke noi. t h saiI ad a ca t red yelf beas hd aang m t h wh w lly ih iand was kown as h hapit lace in th world and tostp maing

W we p eay h xt ay t at a all prvat pane hatwold take s to ahr aiort to ath anote ane hat woldtak u to h iand o Ptst i Vaatu A woa wassraping fst o te wiscn a w aed p o kit it hsall ix-sat. t's h firt tie Iv vr ha t ask te ilot ih cold ove is sat forwa o I ad rom or my gs Wlew really lw, low hat te wman -ilt eed t be

uig a norma a ap I urpri w idn't tp at tafcligts we wer ying hat w.



I sat next o s many pis in sma panes drig tis phat I rck 've pike u th asis. ' a a fying s ay it wu e a god tig t d as it wuh e undrsa hw it a works a take away myaxieties. wo on my ghts ta soehing wi hapn

o w il no s wi o hpane. f learn to y cold st i I it a i d hwhy av ore sus on a ench in a oa ac i aso ijy han tey o on a la carryig 0 passegrs

W g o Ptst whre I et o H tok e fro hlaig sp hrgh h wos were cold har whisting and

singing a trog te rs ti we cae to a massiv owrhat oked lik it was mae f scaoig ples. As g sr Icold s i was a strcure o woe os all und tgerwih roe. lok ike a giat gae o KerPk.

Me a wmn wer dancig and singing wile rs werclimig u te sid f te woe frae. hn expaied tahy wr loking orwar o sing a wit man o a a dive

As h exlai y tey d h la divig e were jmigfrm varius eigs wih tig ut vis wraped rund teirakles. oehw, tey masr te vis so hat te and divsjus s h grnd or ing whip ack p y h vines

Th highst jmig patorm was aro ers ig.We one o th n jmed, h wo srutr sokvilety as i i cold coe own a any oet As ea malaed ahr w okes ran p a cut h vis r o ar

h fore th x a iv ike a kind f air raic troAs son as te uprs wer rease frm h vis tey ran

ak p te twer t av ahr g ike kis i h ark layingon a slid I imagi it wold e iilt to rese o d h jup



if yo liv e It eed t e u a tight comity amight a t ng sun. tink mst pp in jut wantto t i s llo sit ate tan qestiing hig. t iedm f te ung juping itation . .



Jhn aid hat i h dive bed te and with te ai hir ha it bssed te and N ca o m oing hat te,'I togt. d have to pant my ead i te arh ke an otri ormy hair to bruh te and He xpained hat te ige te jmh ore letil te harvt

The wre n t hn's Ambuanc epe stand-by ifhing wnt tits . ven i te fesial set-u in ewZeaand ad t ign a waiver to ay if aytig ape itwast hir eibity o I obt i hi viage ad ay orto cove Tey idn't ven cover hir blloks, s ife Coverwast gig to e oe

Th mn a abas h is a small b aal wove te kb h blloks a l ree. it see te pit oh ateria It idn't really cove anytig. t's li whn yowa a bott f wi or smone at Christas. es sise tee, a it wa te sam wih te nambs it wasn'thiig ayhing

Bt a wit veywhre ese i h wor yo' away getsm wh wants to be iffret Tee wa a an wo was

walking ao esed in a rigt loa f oage. was hLay Gaga f te area. aybe hi wa is way o gtting ot odig h dive by gettig aoaged u. e hing abuth lothing was hw te taition ha ari on and yet te dvage ad a mb pone we a qality wath Th watchjut it ok igt. t wa nevr dig to g wih a knobseat. anythig I obably war th watc und te nambas

as a belt to stp t falig Surely hy apte mbpones a wates hy igt as well war undants or a ai uks

A yung lad wh lok abo six year ld di ajmp frmaund fet id f is ag in nga a big tld not topay ckes at scol de t little iji a yet hre's littleBy divig t hi iminet eath jut te ak o gowingsm cabbags Tis i wat ape whn pp dt have

eugh t o jb, paprwork bills t y, wahingo clotes no a a t answr windws o car t wah, sohy tur t arsig abut



The wa no way wa gong t o t m t tp I tld hnt was to rky I xpaned hat hav a mtgag a oteepbt tat woldn't e ale to st ut wh a brkk. to m: t a olem It ae. een dg ayyars, aet o worry t aftr ahr econted t url hslv ff te twe ke mng. hepp wng m han h kw .

Evytg em t b gg w t a ma woe vwe to long wt and panted s had n th gr. lay h gund sakng lke a bay sarw tat ad alle ot ts twh s ey rong aot n h bak f s ha h ngng

a ang onned a e e and ape h fac.Evtually e ae ack o wt a g on ace

I dn't want t let veyone h vllag dw, a knewRky a Stepen wold moa at m ddn't gt nvlvsmow, so ae p wt an da I agred t o te westpsle la I onted t te owest ung on h struta ak veyne jug o the tll nted as a ladve. ey sad t wold Two mn prepared h v or my

dve. ey dty lok to g te sta wa gongto jm. hy td h aund my akles. gt te gto t wa a lt ge ta I togt. ut a te ungpat ew Zala whe u ck ms ated ot oseake e te gg and whtlg pts yu n a knd ftance. h h wodn ram wh a a aned asfar forwa a sbe ow jut ad to t g. eme

havg h sam eelg we wa arng t m as a kwhn yo know yu av to lt g f te sd f te ol and uaway Ts was lk ttng g o h edge f a p, ext teewas watr. N one wa otng at lk h jm ewZeaand, one wa otg e dwn Ijst to wat untlmy ne voe sad, Release' Th hng a ket ayg to mon h bgee n ew Zeala wa n my ead: oa ass meh a a I make th pay. Wt evey wearng a

aba, w wast h te t b askng or ay all to paywh I t go

Th vnes hy ad attach to my leg we a to g. fa-panted te arh vn te dtance djmed I av



bn bette sing solaces itea o vines but te villagrsloved it Te cting and whitlig got ue, a hy td ei te air i eleration. fet god, t fro h ive but becasI elt hy ad aeciat my fort.

I a icky

KARL di t la iv I id it

CKY i o?

KARL ah I pk to thn a h was a bit dw onm a hat, and yo wr calig e a ick, bt I gothre. di th proe and dive.

CKY Wha th hing wit te vines?

KARL ah I wa gettig on wit h loa a hy orto . . dn, I un ow tey di it co we got te

a fit aw it wa ke ot a chance

CKY ig.

KARL d know whre it ae ro. di it. Wat aamazing fg, bt aftr it thy wre a twig m abuti te air. ey we loving it. e eole wo wee tapsig e ote ay we anoyig m I t like

bing forced it hing weras he eole re a bitm, I un . .

CKY ld on! i yu d h a or di yo d tech' vesio? ts gt tis straigt becau 've seefive-ya-ld o it, a tey jst jup o and its onlyabut te eet Whi di yu d?

KARL t was it wan't te ild , bt te hing is,yuv got to rembr hat I .

CKY w ig wa i? w ig was i?



KARL (o d uke ow hgh was t

UK hnk yo've got t e hst wt

KARL ah, I kw so hw hgh, hw g?

UK t was h one elow te ld s one aot fur fot,Ka

KARL t was aot . . aot ve ot

CKY ve ot?

KARL ah, t

CKY r? ve fot Ive g-jmpd ge tan hat



KARL N! ky, I tk t wa aot fve an a ha fotYo jmp a yo la te go. t' not a gee.Yo t h grund

CKY w o yo t h grund

KARL Wh yur ha!

CKY u jut jupd v ot. u dn't vn jupyur own egt aay!

KARL ah, t I and y ha! We yo ee t,yull undrstand Apartly I' th frt we a t o ala v o tat' a lot ette ta hat h ungjup I've ken a record e

CKY g. yo'r h t wte pso to la onhr had s hat wat te rcor ? yo at m t ak

un Wo ecd f yo'r h t wte man tla s ha? acally, yu fel vr a t yur had

KARL ()

CKY ! unch Stepe n te ae a e al vra ts s head, hs rkn te or o he's d tfrm two ot hghr tha yo! u fckng . terle

ahs gt nce yuv n o rav an s llat,yuv w gt n a alf-ent htel o jy tat.W d Y've ee tugh a lot f taua e, y

W aed aoter pane and ad o way t h htelhat ky ad po. t was dcet a ps ace that maeh twe h rom nto aals I ha two ats on y ed

mae wt hand tow and a cop o swa y te ahromsnk mae wh fan. sups t gves soe poe t alan oehng I've nevr gt t sng I as fund a fnyegg p n te o. t ha tw lttle leg and ha GG O



LEG write h ft I ackd it in y bag as it che mu and hught ight b ig soehing ke tat on yisand, h way o ank ad tat otba t tk to inasaay

After a god ig's sleep I got p a had a fu Eglishbrakast on h pir A I ate my gg, sauag ba and tat watch ad f ying s i h clea blu sa. ts od owevluti gav fh wigs I wer if eole inu t ukhsve ff gs a big woe aes if w evntuaygrw a pair.

Bt coldn't njoy my ittle treat fro Riky tehn a

much a I an o I a e aou a hy ad planefor e xt. t fet like beig in a vat hspita. t' nie havigyur own ro and god fod, bt te fat is yure in hspita thave yo gs o te xt ay s ow a really yo njoy i?

A pa ew vr ay low a h and i h sa achck ut a nch It wa a seapane. h ilt itdcehis to m as apane Pau Te la was tiy, lik amtorbik wih ing He aid h was ging to tae e t see h

many all islas hat wre ott arund to giv m an iea fh t f lace we I igt b seig y nigt.

W saw loas o islas All difret iz. ik lus obrcli sprutig fm te ea Pau tld e aro ilasmake p Vanuat I aw a few nice 'd have bee hapy tostay ice wite sa a blu wat and bes a tres forprteti o e sun jst like te oty avt I eti

ear. te tok e t see a voa. t was triying I's a lot f voaes whn oidayig in Lanzate but hywe all da an jst lok ke giat atray Thi wasaliv kept sayig tat it wat sa as we w hrugh hstam us hat wee guig ot o th to. W ad to o extraligts on te way hre u t ah clod o Ch a yt hrewe wre yig trog h soke ke cttats ta ineir ys I ol e te red ot lava bubbng lik beans d

whn yo'v ha tem h tv or to ong We wer bingbattred by h eat tat wa rising m it a bng hrw allove te lace. wat hapy. Pal wa gettig t s f yliking He seeme t b attat to it lik a bebottle in a ipy



lyng to clo t o hs FlyZa trotor I wan'tfeng gat fm te tlence ut wat ad m ee wewas h sell o h vlca. t stunk To m h act tatat as mad ts hng tnk a way f tllng u tat wesoldn't e anywe ar t.

Th sme f lh la t tte ggs It d t hnkh dle f t arh ml f a eggs.

W haed ak and Uzz ao Vanuat ng hhapt lace n h world Pau wa m Astrala and e tldm e trav a t a e rally tks t s h apt lacehs evr known to m hat te cals u a greetg hat s a

of laugig ou.

KARL ut f veydy' dg tat so hw o yoknow whn hy are rally really apy

AL ut hy ar ay ay apy

KARL N tey not Tey at not all h te.

AL ty can.

KARL y mt smone a go heeeea hy goeeee and tn hy ay What en gg a yog y gajst d' and hy' g Wy are yu schfl?'

AL A y wu know f te ganda ad ed 'csyud tey wold have a ear. f me es saves

KARL w lg?

AL A hnk s f ow g tey eel aye a

cop o mts ehr way

KARL have a t f a ard teyll nk mclo ed



AL ah, a hy' try a b evn apie t yu, soyu may gt a fw me heeeejst to to yo gig intodion.

KARL t's wrh keig it h co teyl tat e bette,won't tey

I ke h ida o growing a bard whn soeone' id, as yuwoldn't really be in h mo f aving ate aring h baw I' ao a way o shwig ect whut it coting

ahin Deah is a cot bsis at oe. ts ahr wa ogtting oney o o u, a thy try t ak yo eel yu abttr prs if yo pnd me te ead My ad ays its allblloks a h wat t be stuk i a bin bag a I sold t hco gt rid im Te tnd at h mmnt seem t bbying a bnch wih a msag egaved on it. ey' like tew gravetones. Arh sed t k sitting hre. ed by wifBtty 96201.' bt h co an't believ hir luk ow

mch tey' saig not avig to og u ublicbnch

I wan't g bore I was at h aiort again to gt ahrpane t y a eet a trib tat whi Pince Phi a a gd h iand f Tana. uke gav m a fw hto f Pri Pilipto ass onto te a a ited dition £ i hat a bneae to celebrate hi recent inetieh bitday. £ Ta' a to my a cin yo' t gig to send Wy ut it bea pia p oi It tigs lik tis hat anoy abutBritai I' a igt ri W dt evn av £5 coins iciation. ts hing ik hi tat wod stp u ve aking itit h To t f apiest paes i te wld

Ayway, h i Phi tibe . . h ty ges hat h o a otain spiit trav aros seas to a owflwoa t a a smhw h s turned o to b Pri

Phip He visit se to h iand in th 190s wich epd tbak p tei beie I et two loa a gt ff e la whwe oig a ie f wod wit y nam on it ne wa ald wo soke oe gli. itdced m t Abi wh wa



dcried to e a te apiet man i th villag a w abing te gatt a. hy wr bth to the warigxt to thing Jt a it o pant tei ea a wick thir kno I gt i te ack o a va wit Ai a JJ ha caiedth aege at th inid

Mot lace iit I d ty to a a w word ike ' andTak yo' ut dg ti trip it wa hard t keep u a thy ayVaatu ha vr 10 laguage i ue aong te 300pplation. t know hw a lace an r lik ti. urely alot f eole v to eak a crtain angag f it t qaify aone. f te Ttbie mv e teyd have to a tat

laguage t thir lit to. gli i a tt, a o i Frewith ilama ing te ai nationa angag It wa hard tundrtand whn eig pkn ut it wa pil t work it utwhn writtn own. Whi drivig to mt th ret th vilagewith Ai and ] aw a ig tat rad O DENA wich mantLOW DAGE. hy writ dw w hw tey und,whi i go. t' ow it old e realy I on't know wy wetarted uig ilet ttr i te gli laguag ie ing a '

to und ike an ' in th word ponetic' an x ixyloh' Why not ziloone'? wor have ecoe o long olid we'v h u cme p wi breviius u hu word w on't kw ow to ell. I wa i arge f teditiary wld have a rigt clear-ot o wd W likecpiia d get rid f If m ha tat attrction to dabdi, I k th ay, I fay ea bdi Te, at eat

whn tey t pp, thy ight eaie ow etal it oate ta it bing iden i a ph w. And ten thy' tohavig th prolem Th fat tat it a it own w make itm ore atab



W 8 L w" " w" LLe e e ee

O te rest o h trip pnt o o y tie loking atbiboars an igns o work ut wat tey wer ayig. waslik okig at to iag tat wre ouar i te 98 werif yo sar tem or long eugh yo' see a onky riding a

unicor Sm exap or yu: Mi wanem is wold like Mi wat' os lik M wat tem wich eqals I woldlik itwi is beween'. Bini is buis' By w yo'veprbaby g h hang o i o I on' av to t y wa Guming mas. yur til rgglig yure a ik '

I gav Albi te ho f Prince Pilip ta k ha frmmagazi a h was ray ray apy wit tem, s gavehi h coin w He wa ve more ufed Lk sai dmae a bi f an error givig Abi h oin a sold have savi fr te ai ief f h villag We di have ay mrecoins, so waned im to id it, b tis is te rb wihwearing notig but a wickr knob vrer tere nower fr



sall age. gst that h sold o it tight in is handa shw no

G�mL ;

Suzan dest allow e t gab w a agai I want

to sig p to amlig sites onli ut se sas N yue signe u yo'll e gabing all th tim and loseevrytig.' Ses baly rigt. use to like uitmais wn I was yungr bt I thyv a got a itcopiat now It sed t e thee eas te elons towi te jakpt ut now thre's so ay ay fruits i thworld teyv ha to ad m ees to frit ahines sthre's ess chanc f wining Tey sm t hav ads

m utts and ligts ashig ta tey us to have to Iha a go on oe in a srvic stati recety tat ashd andmae so mc nois ay as wll have jst stayed i te arpark a kikd a ar to st o its ala wod have gotth sae rest and saved mys 20p

W gt to te villag after a hurs drive All ys we e

as I got ot th bak o th van. hy sta at e stony-fa andth y noise ae o a ai o srawy�okig dgs aving ity th nppig r g ey e fyig g. 'vve en a a f ags I on't tik thy're cesay aymWe I se te itish ag I on't eel it's iptat to e.Maye ef t invntion o wds tey we andy to mark aterity ut now, what a tey f? see eole wavig th at

sortig evts but ost f te tie I on't kw wat untyth ag is fm We eil Astrong ut a ag te owhat wold it an to sm fm athr paet wo andda saw it Wh e stuk it into te os sace it jst sto



hre ke one f Szane ams tow we se' gottn tue oter a ar and sti. h y god tig abot a ag iyu a was hm and hn p tem traight bak ut t u, ahy can dry while oing tei job. e y pro se o o agis hat yu y h riti ag usid own it i a dits ignalbt hn not ay eole kw hat, a wat ar h chance fhavig a ag yu wen i a ditred mmnt?

I tik h whle f te vage wa ut t gt e, bt hn spo whn yu liv in u hts ay xcue t get ot is a godone. Abi wa fiity te hapiest man i te llag, b wahat jst baue e wa ve Ui u? e m t te

coti o pts o Pri Php hy ad ung on a iece fstrig. Sme we fro magazis, so we pstadTh cae acrss one o] a Abi wearing diner acktalong wit a few hrs, stod next to Princ Pilip I on't keweaing its as I aways f oveess but hat ayig hasve ben m apt or ] a Albi Thy oked eay difernti a sit. aid hy went to eet im at Windo. Nally, togt tis clo t Pili yo'd have t tak part i k o

Edinbgh Awad A a at cho climbed m otain inScotand a gt h awar but I on't tik h gt to met im Ihught wa getting ivoved in te DE Awards we ysol ent m t a ut bisuits at te oal mental oe but itturne ot I was jut et to elp T hi ay I o't really kwwhy I was snt te instead f bing in cho



Tees a sayig tat yu sold ve eet yo ios. te t agee wit it as we was a kid I iked Gay Glitte,s god advice. ut ently wen I was in ia I wt uto my way to mt Gaga and auna. ey a cnjoinedtwis. nev thught wu mt conjoined twis.

y - v v w is pobaby te bst tie te wat with all thtwo-f- fes that a ut the. n a wo weevyboy loks th sam it was go to mt Gaga andJma a will ve fogt it

I ike th way ty hav a gd wh thy an atally ontact

a get asws fm Peole hav ts o difet gs, bt owmany f te ca say teyv ha a hto wit tem ike soe fthse t hav y believ in smtig tat mae temhapy so what des it matt? A t o eole wud b kn totell th its nonsese but smties th tut ost matt. think w to kn t state th tut abot eveytig. he wasa ogam on an ages ag a e abo eer qdas i its lies we that iptant

asked me t join veyone od As we sat te gundI noti veyon that fa e ha beas, wih embeeapane al ha said was th sig o a eath uza tels me lok ike a su we dt shave but if was waking abutd like tis lot at's te pit i aing a ie smot fawhn y aiy as and bak wu b on shw vryone ts? I asked wh ad ied, a tey sai it was te sue ief

wh had eachd 1 yeas l. aybe e was it's a eatylifesty but wn living ike tis I iagine it's asy to get ateswg. vey day wu el th sae. Wy o thy d tknow i it's usday? Tey dt have bis to pt ot bills t



pay by a cetain dat thy o what tey t we it sdig. Simle.

My ma onl s to kw wat ay it was h'd knowwhi

Tsap to wath, bt sinc onaon eet, astnde

a mmerdae s t b on evey ight tese day dt hinkse as a e wat day it i



I be apy t o tis, if sm ok e tee atogI on't really se h pin. Wa yu woldn' at edig is living er Iagine tryig t arage a bildror a lubr o oe und I givs tem te eexse to mss yu aund

J sai A his is te son hat is in lace f te sue iefA his seech is: I wu lik o take tis optuniy o takyu a o tl y ta w apeiat yur prsnce , a tell yu hat its h s tim i ur history hat w h bakpp a h whit pp sit tgte er o sa od In thpas ur ancess and o es nevr ate tgte wit tewhit ep, a w wat tis unity and h ea

#3Te chas ar i yuv got a inersting amiy yu kw i I w w k Eistin ha iaion wu have bee passed whrog h faiy. f yo go okig f tigs ye orliky to i bes Its ike aving a chk�p a hdcor's or takig yur car for a sic teyl iproblems ta wen't a problem bef tey stare lokingKwig y ck, I nd u havig t pay a gas ad cybi or sm o Pilkingt wo ve ai i bfoe thydi.



I be tsted thy u go really fa bak gtbak so tey cold sow m a pot o an ap jeys sg a say Kar, ths s te earst Pkgto we uta Ts s o grat great-geat-gat-gratgreat-gatgraad '

W ate soe ckn and I asked any a ay ustonsexectg t b ske abut what od I ke or wat hbbes Ihave but thy kt askng qests dt undsta or knowth aswes t abot thr prospts a ftur.

KARL u dt to wor Eveythngs gona bgo 'd say. vrytg's go.

J translate to st o age) Tak yo f te ssageyu gv us ng us not t w veytng w bOK. t s a te wh ur eldrs have t dcd what tey

wll d but we epnd yu now that yu a prosevrytg wll be go.

KARL thnk t wll b I tk t be argt. gschang but, I tnk, I thk t b agt. 'd cary asyu ae

I was gussg but I o tk thy b agt. We te ancedto sm ants t bat th god ws It stat f wt atye o ga bfore ovng on to sm fot stag tatcaus dst to l th a m te grund lk a atasoke-achne efet Th mn a as te wmen sat awatch sm wt te aces doratd n spattered oos asf teyd been to a pantba evnt.

If Szan wat to d ths t h ace d ave a sse wth

t as shd make a rgt mss f te pwcases hn sh wet tob but er thy on't av pllowass, s tey on't ave towor abut stff ke tat. A te bght los ust attatwasps thugh, wh ust be anyng



Albi and J wat to tak e t see Gramtr, so w gtbak in h van nd trav uite a dita. We nd ustayig vr at aote villag for th ight I ndd p sig ina tose wit a eaach fm ung a it bothwaitig f ta atr hy hwed m what teyd e rvig p Iwas frit bat. t a bat and adig h wor fit' t it detmake it any m aptiig. on't tink I u unt it a o my five a ay ite. ak ow g a bat taes to cok, aqesti I nevr hught I' ak I obt Ask eeves or ogwold vn kno h awe I ai Id ki ta, as h sell fh ea bat dit grab e a wet to bed Yo' think hy'

g to b earr wit thm aving electriity but it dit stph sigig a aing well it h ight t t sam sgove and ove and ove again. kt wakig u bt ut tellif 'd bn alee f os or jut a fw ites h sam gwas bing sg. t was lik whn ya Adas was mbe wih veyhing Do) Do t For Yo' Yo t escap it



I wa wk gai whn Ai a ca i h o op Th go hing i, hy wa o i, he wa no eingaund geig ed Thy j g aig i ed I ellik 'ju go f o agai whn h x hing I kw Ali

wa waking m p o go a ee Gamh I wa amWy ealy? Ae w eping h d a ae o o wha I elik o i a i o g ed i al akne



As we ove p a munai I u ha xpss a se ae gw in h ky J pine a said, Grama was avlca.

I idn' rally sris m a ey call a voano Granda Rember, I as i a pa whre Pince Ph s gd As w gocloser, h oa w we drvig ad sam mg ugh Th vlca as ang lik ero eaig. h nos f eexlosions g ue as w g closr. uny ow er gramamakes a o mblig iss; is my aunie wo is kwn fhr exloss. Se bk wi f iv is. Se said idesn' hap anyor, b jus ink hr ha s wha i

used o be was ifl know if w we n any angr as Alb

conied sm He sed s axe wih i My carisura cos a bob js ' s I av on-s pakig. Wawold i cos e if had o hs my dors?



W mae ur way p a akh pat wt a ara tat adbn batter a brkn pa by oldrg rck ewedot fro h vla. ak JJ abut aety and wh way ton h tg tated gttng ore atve. expaed, I yuar runng, yu e on takg or pakg t hr rama)tellg hr to b carl and t take are f yo.'

Th lac a gt nog langag wtot m havg tolearn to eak Voano I wa wored abut a lup f t lagon m a I at ong wth bur. wa away brng mylfa a kd ktte and ot pat. on't k fryg n egg a dt lk te way t t ut ht fat a m T wa lke ta but

on ie sle I s ike e bi ddy iek h sunprdtable. h ger te lence te bggr te xpom o b Stag on te edge, lokg own t techrng r maga mae y eart pund ore tha we I waon h edge f t bung latfr. t dt m t bhr aAlb Th lod chg bo d evn ak th nch

Aparntly Agel Fall wa aed aftr a avtor a

Jm Agel wo wa te rt o y vr te fa n apane. vn thugh alray ha a ca nam, KrakuaVe e r-aed t I tk te ame Ang Fall workbttr o attat te turt a t a lot ar to remmbr ot wa a wrtwh chang I on't kw wy tey evrbhred hangng te ktchn aner rdc na rm fto C hugh

I ad a mpty lat btle Id been drkng frm ll mrnghat wanted t uk nt te bubbg ava but J a I wan'tallow. A ar a cu ee t wold be te only advatage f



havig one f tese thing yur dorst. t wold b gat togt rid f o sieboars and attses by jut tping tem iSury u btt te nvironmnt than an I we adone f tes i te thy probaby wudn't allow tipingeithr but it u av thing t d wit usettig Ganda itwold jst b base thy s my as its £25 a tie orth to coe and llect big ies f rubbish It wu ao b ago pae to pt dad boies. A t m efint ta burying,a a tim yu hard it xlding it wold ein yu f ldfaiy emb wo ad pased away Tei ases woldevntuay go back it th gro.

J sHi hy on't throw yhn n 01lt f rept fo Gmnas se etiliss th gund wit a f god dc. hn esai w sol move Th wi wa agig direction and threwas m hance f te big ot roks coig o way

He wat wrg ite, as mments late wile aking urway bak on w aw two uge big taig cks te ize fcole boxes land we we had been staig. We gt back dw



to te va Te Abi and ]] got ut two bits o wod a askm t go bak u te sid f te voano with tem

J xpaine t pan al yo ust stggl to sviv n otpas ke tis, i te eset a lean to ejy yurs, so asebaig is one f te thngs tat an ak yo apy whn yua n te dsrt.'

Ase boardg was smtig thy s t d we tey weyungr. eyd st a e f oemae ski a te sedw te sid o t as-ved vlca as it we now Ithught ]] and Abi wu b th ast epe p for ths ki factivity wearing what tey we weang I u l t sa

gass-lik ash gettig t y sos tugh y scks a undrmy skn so Go knows ow it wold fee ter ase.

I trid t but I seed t be to eavy t ge. S tred usigmy ft to us a ttle bit bt eed u just okig lik a dgwipng ts ity ae on gass.

Three idle�aged blokes ars-badng on th se f avlca was ke a sne ro at ofthe ur ne Albwas laughng t imself a lovig evey mnut f it All tis dd

was bak p y opii tat pp dt have mc to o,mst wil ot f arsng abut Liteay.

Tis act o waking on fre has exsted for thusands f yearsa s actsed by cuts a acoss te wld as a t opassag it atho. imagi mst o th ppe wo dthis are lik ] nd Alb wo wae abut a day befotwh eas tei eet ar toge We I got n t back

o th van wth Alb tice th ski on th bttm o hsft a hardnd frm havig otti frm sos Histos wre nice nd straght thugh I rck Abi wakon boke gass and not i. tick is fet we hwast lokng and h ddn't vn tice Athr eap



o hw oe lvng akng u a tt bt wake Myft at ev ale e-o eatg.

Thnkng bak ve thugh wa a bt wr te g o thvlca d ay t wa y favurte thng on th tp

STEPHEN: Arght, Ka, by w yo hu av etqte a ew f te hapy landr n Vanuat nd I oey aing g a ene of wha i eally ea be aand dw bcaue t te t tak t to athr levlmat O m la e to th remte la f aaklawhre wv o yu yur vry wn Man Fay wolltak yu t y eet la and tach yo a te urvvalkll yull e.

Athr pane a long drve a pk-p f a pg ro a a a

paymnt te trbe tahg e urvval kl a a boat qte a rog oa atr wa MaakuaS beng bck at o Ive o ot tat Maakua wa

aed by aptan Jam Cok It m fm te rnc whc man a te ar aftr ok o t lt toda wth anb voano a ote anyng fate. t'go o know p xplo oim fig Ihave y tavl I rembr fng a bt lke ata Cok at

th ot te tr. h whle a wy I ck te ght ona ert la wa becau k pae and ut a my wcopany I adn't ealy ha any te t mylf leavngEgla a t wa lt to have a bt f e te wlebng er a th pp o Vaatu ve t e te onthr own.



I got f h at and ter was h chi std wit a tikfeate proting frm hi ead, weaing a aba wit los. Agai, if tey ca by ip os, hy an buy a ai fpants, surly T chi's ambas was t mae f wiker likAlbi a J]s It wa ad o leaves a lokd ke a robtwn oe rt o ai tatr a a sec a haly elp y t ges h ag f pp, s was stggngto gu te age o mst pp wh i Vanuat. ti t seehw low h me's testicles hg a a gUie. h lwr hy hagh ld te man. wm u h same tiu bt wihhir breast By sing tis gid I ay h hi was aund 40

he ed u whe e he an ca dw Wwalk and talk. tld m tey seak h laguage f NndHe aid evrytig bgi wit h lette . ts t tim ke tisI we hy ak hing p t joke aro wh tosts likem A alm tree h pit t was ca a Ndidi w awah wich is fruit a h pit ot a af tat wa aohlee. said tat laying -Sy e wold b tugh a yo'b gesing a ay. agred

W hn sto at an area wee e xpained hat eole ay.At first thught h meant to elax or to have it aay wit hirparr, b te aw a la o b a ae h mantwhre dad boies lay. saw a kll and aked ws ha it wauik a a ash h ai Nioa, a if sowing me a potgrap.I wu've undsta it if it ad bn te head f maint ief smtig but te nam Nioa isn't sally h

ae f a ad. ayb havig veyhig begining wit telette makes it eay to rembr hing I togt it wold bod t ee te kll o oeone knew.

W gt to te villag t was ealy i e gdns wr liksmtig in a ryal park Th chi tok m t a wodn hwhre I wold be taying h nigt. t wa basi bt wold d hjob o keping e Tey ha aso installed a wodn tiletove a pit, whi I tik wa buit ecially for as it okd

unued Tis was hw tey ow thi wat. t wast abuthw mc hy ad or hselv it was me abot ow uhy cu give ote. to m mat a kava wu besrv o I t ut my sleeping bag on te or, p p a



mssy whe e was s ligh a hg p y scks aoses dry bef jiing evry a h cma angaa

All h mn wr sa aund hang A fw s abu akngsm kava a drik mae ro h kava la o. ey grundh lan wih sm wae o e sea. Ar an hur obashng h ro wh a woe o hy ad ee a wasigu bwl ll f gy kava Thy o m sm fs as I was eges I as ik soa a ad my onge nub, wh aleas mae i asr o drnk h res My ase bu wee f hris

#6 Di b OcHbefest Apanly 5 illi pp ae Okbfs vey yea Ilik e d be bu wih 5 ill oe ole.Iagne h qeu a h ba. 'm hapy havg a gh uwih ayb oes b so as yue aving ushabs ge a us a epa and pn o make a no owha pp wa ik i's o ay 'v only one ionce wi b I idn' joy i Th sayng sd bew's copay hree's a cwd I wasn' s I was on agh u or o soe so o pros ac. embe

havig an I was ging hm fory ies bore Iwa g allow im say gobye o ery evnhugh adn' aally ha im o say h h ashre wr so ay blody pp eve agai

o wo were ese In al e im I was e I idn' seh en a wn mx. Nlas ea ha was e ss

saw h ch g o a woaTh ch was sa a log caig on is obie h, a sig

I' sill becoe asod ve hugh ch rib I' msnce beig e sed o av h. sruk e as od ha a



man wo a ch wars fae and a sklls o fnd n gardn has a pay-a-yo-go moble. e ms g sa all mpp yng e m gs h desn' vn know ex.



I at sm meat tat 'm s was i, b I oldn't taste it'cs o h kava wet to bed

I rembr aking u and eelig imatiet Ijst wantd tb intdced to y Ma Fiday get t my isla and xeiencewhat I ad o to exeince. t was h sam eelig yo gt hday atr a wdig whn yo'v stay i h sae ot a hote gusts ave stayed i and yu eel ke yu ave t contieh elebrations ve bakfast wit strages yor ve likeyto eet agai

I ad a wash i te reshwatr strea, and te Luke tld ehat had t go nd mt te ief wh wold itdce e to his

s He was te a wh wold b taching e te survival skillson my rmot isa. te sai te ief wu be exetingm t war h taitional dress f te nambas. said, ot achanc I anoyd a h xc m o a I kig yself l cove and takig alaia tablets all wka now e waned m t wak abot wih y y kb cove?I idn't ak sense wh all h msuites aud I wate tolean sks lik ay as and ear Gylls, bt this was tnig

me into ow ook ood akd with ok anLuke sai it was a sig f respt, b I didn't erstand wy

gtting y bllks ot wold sow espt At e it wu bclass as anti -sia baviur. d aleay sow spct by notustting ayone and takig tem a pig. ats a ig git to givsm ist it? I hik soe tp-u tim or his obile shuhave bee eugh I wnt t see h chi.



CEF: We av t giv yo naba t yu

KARL 'm t to w abot hat, dt tuble

yurs. 'm it hapy. uv mae welcme, I'vestay h ight, yu gav m kava ha a eay goight Yo dt hav t giv e any me. S yea w ajut . Ijst am to eet y end wo is ging to epm to urvive te ila.

UK t's taitional arl. one becoe an hary

be mebe, an onou fo he be f yo d heaba

CEF: It taiti hng wen we go sig.

KARL hink its me iptant to ave a ro a baitwhn ig. shing take i ptant t my tackle!I not going t u f hat lok. Wat sort o l is hat

I I on't wa a naba tey wt tea m t is!

CEFS SO t is a ki oect.

KARL t'sjust . hs) . . weang te nambas, afrnds wiig m u back at hm He akng e warh namba. dt know hat was gong to apen yose. ts a bit a urpris for m. hught was jut

coig ee t hav a lok, obsv wih y and ten g.ow evryboy ken to gt e n a nambas and te geh go , h more barasng it is.

CEFS SO u have t b i te nambas

UK t'sjust or a sht wile. hink it wold be te righthing t o

CEFS SO Ate yo ut aba te we av td a ae he.



KARL S Teye adng a bt me now P h onhn we gong t av a da Tha's whn tgs ppo whn avng a dance

CEFS SO t a ht

KARL What d yu man ts a sht

CEFS SO Sort dance

KARL ort dance. t'sjut, yu , h noral u, bt f e ts wll g te V and e u eda w be ayng, wa' arl b p t? I'dancg aro wh stf on shw. ts det at oe.Peole on't es lk ts o ts a bt o a bgge ea orm T b, y know, havg t a ut hr vng aund,hn oehng alls ot.

UK t's a tabo yu esng wh, smtg

symbo hre yo know.

KARL ah, well teyre esng wt y yblloks.How ca we v h becas h gettg m andm awkwar a te go

W we gettg nowe, s w cam to a copro I

wold wa te te f naba that h chen ear, wh wame f a gras skt tha a knob wa. dt esta wyhy d ll go fo hs p I s si go fo qUkp weang te skrt han t we weang a aba, whre yuhave t lean th at f orgam to wrap t bak p aga

Two fa easur e u ke talors on Sav Rw. hymae a typ o band hat t rund my wat and te attachbg leaves to t I wa ed, h chantg stat. Wedanced aund a t Th, I wa tld tat o, wh wa tech's son wu b takng me vr to h and whr I wub stayg.



Jhn aid we ad t get soe leaves Tis time, it wast forclotig bt selte He got ut is maet and hake dwsm big leaves h iz o s bas a w ai thm t twoli bats we wu b uig t gt ove t te isla. eweahr wa i Th ain wa eavy and hr was a ldwi. k pit ut te isla. t dit lok as big as ay fh s I ad wn vr i te eala wit Pal. t lok ika tiy u, bt I togt it igt b big ayb it' jst faraway Lk sai it wa ald e Stiks isa. g WWI teAmrica ilitay u h isa f targt ati

I tok abut twety minut t get arss h hpy a as te

curent was draggig h bat ut into te cean. ne or two oh big leav blw away but wat gig t stat tryig tetrive tem I a pr pied of now Evig ha behrugh a thi was te ay�of! hi wa now ar what Ipite whn iked hi tri ff te ukt ist It wa notilik te oty avrt.

I got t te isla to i it wa jst as sma a it ha lok. spo te act hat h S mitary s it or taget practice

sold have bee a clu Id n rundabots biggr tha tis Itdit evn av sand Sharp roks a bkn she vred tegrund Te was pit i e hwig y isapoitet imaing Jhn wa tgglig to undrstand m, by te okon hi ace e wat v hapy eith.

I o qite a god sot to ak h elte I wa a litt bitprtet fro hwlig co wind tat wa wipig i o th

sa. o ha stte to bi a fae ur htr and I smy ager ergy to sift me big buds hat wold elp tok it in pace.



# LIn

B

\ ow"

Bldng y on hm ha nev bee a abt o mne. a uzane fa ot hn have to ork tgte pkg aad o are the' no ay 'd t be tge e tokh I at te TV o an egns qte a t. t' aprgrame e yo e a op g hrog th whle o�bldng e m te eg on papr rgt tog t mvng I begn h a hapy ule o are xtd a fll optve togt a eage t gt h jet gong, a h yot th age vr a yea a tey e p avng to ve n aaava a th prjet run ell b hdl. e e o ah utt u f l, earng lot o ak-u a afly one r TV ag vrgt a yo e e at t e

k eatg Pot od arg a a ha a h bler bngme bad tat th hp aryng te pal evetay�fndy tle ty antd frm Sedn rathr han te ralone frm h a op T a unk a ha n dayeth jet a rhr hree mt. fro ldplay ud ae ee te yg baue h han' bee ab t av a bathfor ur mt a v t ene tng t bld a g 35% ove bdget. e bugt away go vr. dthnk tey v tak t aunt th my pnt ta baghnev bu a aund Thy an get throg a box n hreeday

Jhn a tg u ave to ue a a ty o natra rp t teh ae tog but t a takng o long for my kg. gto my bt a p tat 'd brught frm hme My bg ba otrg a rol f gafa tap ay pd h jb u. At t

pt, Luke t dretor and te aeaa dapeard f hr ba. hught tey'd ju gone to lm m a tae ormtg but tey'd g gt ot f gt. gt t Stayknfe ut f my bag and o th egg p tat ad ma



sile in h ps ot I idn't ak e m tay A at fm wat knok it h ea but y ine voi te tatwast kn e oing te bung at h start o h ti wastellig m I' gt tis far, so may a w fow it tugh Ilistned to y ine voi a lot, as Jo wasn't ayig mch a itwas h only ay ha.



I viitd te o haund oe i Briai a fe year agob I didn't ayhing Th bk wh owne h gaf aidhat er wa a ght hat ge i hi bed at ight and rbhi g Ta nevr hap on Soby o, i it hhn a wr w hn w

drib ing tem oa dw a corrior wearingVicoria ling Wy d hy nevr ee a go warig araki and trair A no evr ror ing abak r Aia got o hy?

Wile e wa dig te la fw och t th o, I walkro te wo iand t nd wod t bu a fir It y tok

abut a fit-ie low walk t ge rund it, b in hi tie Icam o realie iand oldn't be a Stik, a Icold y nd a hat amun o b on h ire I tried t gh brnig wih h ightr I ha brog fro m, b idit work u o te aot f rai hat ad g it y bagJhn nd p ig hi ki and bbd i eia tickogehr o gt te re going inie te htr. a at mybusuts wh Jn. hr ws sohng bou t r ht put

m ore at a Jo ed hapir w to I tik a ehave oe attracion o ir Lt ace it, yu on't ge aywoe aronit, d yu Maybe it mtig iie hat geway bak to cavmen tim.



I tik thi i ike Gy awke ig. eember uig thiight wen I a a ki a a way f gettig i f a pair ooe hat di like Tey wee really ar ate witedge und te anke ha hat tey cold ie cheee

Me and my mate anage o get a lady anqi mhe bak f a ma he o cae aie hatha e own. he la wa o dre it ing o wclote go o t o a peny or the guy and heneove he clte beore ettig fire o he, exept awhi a a chane t ge id o he oe e a or all. Wep he de aneuin ha wa wearing hing but a ld

man' a an y oe he bonfre. e next mingon the way o ol I tped o at te re o ee if it wati bing a here wa te aneqi, igty caeti weaing y oe They oked tally undaage. wa abut a cefl a Guy awke bwig uPaiaet

hn idn' ret or long He wa p wih i bw and arwaiming at ih o fo. He mae a ew attept bt ad joy.He ae rnig ver a gete ta I go wih im He oinedo y ba hught e' ao ha eugh a waned go bako te aiand I got in y boat a llowe i I te uthat e ped wo c oating by a nede elpdraggig he i He reacte qicky t avid miing he hanceo fo. t eined e f te way I ed t ruh utting my

aie on we I wa a ki a heard te te fm te ie�cea va

hn wa rig o react Uikly a get he o, a herewa hing ele on hi ila ta I old eat I poe ti i



hw h lv Tre' no o or hm dve ro hrewh ot wy thy tay n gu Tey elp each oteto vve. At hm havg fr n't te am a hre. Ppa bd wth ow many end thy av on abok fower Twtt, bt o th ar thre t actuly elp

I wa at by th tryng t y my tane we ke andh ta cae bac Thy ad all eatn a ed ay ubat,wh an b qte anyng wen yue ed p Jo dcedmtg ro h bag f e to eat wch h a wd gt methrugh th ngt. It wa tar a ptato-lke tg. fun t harto be gatu at t ae tm a bng dapt. thnk

een nsley Haio on ad ad Ck woud sle make oethng nt ot f a tao a a ot. o thn tom e wa gong hm

Luke aed m a gt fro Rky, to ub or alt t thwo. t wa a otba wt a ace awn on t ke th one mHak ha copany n astaa

ar aw vted t pae 1835 on avlund ut Amca and t hed h coe p wt da o hw w evlve frm ap ate tdyg all taal a lat te la t uzzle m I on'tk tkg abt th evvng ce a t ht ban.Te way at worked ot we neeed ye and ad thapn to me I o wer thugh we bem ava ow we dn't av ey a tey tohapy watg tey wh ea te mnd n't beg

to tk abot ortat tg e. vd o th hw have t clo y ey we tyng to wk oethngot. kon V mght tp o ye movg nyfthr and now ca av nor t keep a y ut for



hngs wch eans we on' av s h as u. hnk w'v spe evlvng w a wll sar evlvngWll end p as bbs jars w a obl pone and a TVro

I u e aro o ok and red dg so o my rossworsby orchgh, b my bra was workg as w as rallydes I ejy wkg on es a oe bu js was hsae n hs cods sgg aswr h qesAcan vrs o praw (6) . r e ar. was prey

asss and bJs as I was kg f avng a arly gh g hsexernce vr a one w had e so f a ba ega saw soeon ong a aslg a s Lk we f o swha ey wa He hn ae back wh a cop o ss fsak e ad sre o r s earr. hugh was only aras h day ha be a oal wash-u I sed e sovel I abrugh o ok em A e m ased ke e bes sak

I' ver aI was ay dry, war a u. has all I ne o k

hapy. knew was hapy cos y bran ve wrked o haswr o e rsswor uson. was sm'



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Peole aways use te s h glass ha fll or ha epty'qesti to t i yure an otimit a psimist. hink itshard t te ow u a ga i ths days wih te aot f icemst pb ut in yur gas but Suzan tells m ' a alf�emty t f eon wich makes m a esiit I ag, I a abit f a pimi. 'v b fm a yung age Me am sai leaned t own yea befe cold walk Th firt tie h sawm ile sh tgt ha wind

We I wa tld tie a a kid h esiism wa te evnhn ' s I neve believ e mam we se nih a t wihAnd tey all live apily ver after. o, hy it. dt

beleve it I y. preee Humty umty ice and sort,a a realisti eig. ve urt any, b ha a ttaccidt and di. Sit hapns. a' init. N gat esty v inert,jut a ea egg. t I ear teyv esswih tis sty w, as I av mat wit kis wh ig a newsg tat ges

Wa e uhd

Did e allWa te sch a crie at allWy did Hpty Dupty alI' a mystry I' a mystryTh cot asembled hr toay,To se hat jutice as its wayTh gilty will have t ay

Let' tart rcigs igt away.Wa' going Kid are tgglig wih bai ping a

mats, a yet tyre uttig or eort ito he HuptyDupty case t tey di wih OJ Simp I on't kw owHupty Dupty nd tes days. ll have t buy h bx t

Ayway, m ing esiisti jut xpt t wt whit hap Im a. sn't tat te ight way t liv Wy els

d we a wea eatbelts whn w gt in a a? mntion beigpsimitic a imagi tis is hw ot Rusias wu b Itst a unty whre yo ha abo pole gig t or a golaugh, is i? I read hat whn Ma' pned brances i



Rssia hy tat it ke a tei hr hp an asked h stafto i at te ctmrs, bt it idn't go own w as pp inRssia dt sle at trangs. ts smtig avd or finda aily

Th ight t sw y tok hre hurs, b te w weh f a fh six o becas we had t writ dw a list oevry iec f eipet te rw wer bringing it hcotry Evn tog Im a psimist I togt t day utgt ay wors bt te I et Pascha, a beaed an wh pk ia beaths irtted way He wu b givig m a Uik to fRssia i is o Rage ove tat wa vred i u and ad

ddgy bakes. to hi y reas f beig i Rssia a akif e ad been o te Tra-Siba Raway

ASCA: Wy wold want to d soig ta'totay preditable? 'll ave tat to yu riti So, aywaywhat d yu wat t ee Sqa

KARL ah, yu an hw e that if yo k r man watve yo think is wort eing e

ASCA: tig.

KARL igt w, hat isn't vey .

ASCA: Rd Suare is a lace f xetion. e go

is satuate t blo W l b walkin aist dee inbo.

KARL yo d ti as a living, hi tur gi tig?

ASCA: Ocaionally It not eay my main erviceprout, bt yes, I o h tigs Te or I o it, h lessI ke it.



I nevr esta wy eole tay i a job y really ateYes w al hav t make oney t ay h bill, bt i yu ateyur job so u yo've gt t gt ot.



A OE X DYTO V ALNG THE W�OLt RANS-S]BERJA .

H RA-

lB£RJ OVER

90 f ]LOMETR5

LOG AND GROSES

10 T]M ZONES.



Te worst thig wu be to have ajb that yo an't avIve aways thught that wit ots a surges If teyleft and bae ntei esigs or btchs I agnethy' f gilty. t wud b like Sprman koking it alon th had t bcoe a ancial avse

I aways surised whn tey ask if a dctr is on boarda ght Tee tey a trying t av a hliday ro thirstressu jb a w cos soeone in seat 4b is chking onthir bag f nuts, tey have a call o uty. e sstIve m to aving to o ajob ay dit lk btcoldn't av was avig to o jury uty. e is gtting ut o it. avig to sit ter f wks i cot

jugng a strage I elt lik Simon Cowl Te ostanoyig ting was that yure not awed to at or drikwhn ingjy dty I on't kw wy as I watdsomer drs wh eatig a wix and haig a bw,a it osn't afect e wking ot wh id te urer Iaything, eatig elps yo to thik. ojak sovd letymes whi sckig a llio.

I fred Pasa sm f y Rves as a way bonding, bth wasn't intest. S I tried t be friely by sowing itersti is ca



ASCA: It te wt car I ve bught, a it' itish Ive togt a ca u be hat ba.

KARL ut yuve got t ok atr car Yo an't xpt itto jst a Yo'v gt to svi it if te bakeshave gone. uv gt to get te baks ix.

ASCA: Hw many ties d yo hink 've ad tebrak x i yea Yu want t gess

KARL u say xe. yu man lac?

ASCA: Rpa th whle yt. wol tak t aqalifi Lan-Rvr dale and say x it, I n't wat think abut it, fo ties!

KARL ur But aybe it jst a bad gaage e

ASCA: U, hw ay gaags d yu tik wet to

KARL ase ur?

ASCA: Wat o yo tik I was ding hi ornig?

KARL xig yur car

ASCA: Atemtig to

KARL Well get ri f it If I' any abut smtig t id o it.

ASCA: Ta's what I tig t d!

KARL Are yu f u at te oet

ASCA: Ys am Wit ar with job and, fanky wityu Briti.

KARL What Me avn't one anytig.



ASCA: Yo're t y sa typ o cliet Boreyu I ad a Bitis ule m t y ttag o o heiing Tey sig p or two days I tld h it isimortat t iorm e tey left ocow, bt teywon't o hat, base h Brits, u yo av e etaityo slav wnes. u xect pole to wait on yo.

KARL What d yu man? We on't av saes. Whredi yu gt tat o?

ASCA: Y pak a dent laguag By now wud

have a aote ive I on't eta yo.

I tik I oa less whn was wih Paa. Hi essiistiapach mae m ptiisti Tis hat hape mc tom be Suza vry ray mans, a wonr if its 'cs Id it a or hr a Paca wa oig or m If sm is hapyI tnd t ok at e negative. hr's i anig i it isn't

gtting te posite raction. e ge e wa wit e teme e oaned I Pasha was a dg I' hav a hi pt own.

Ohr han is tuts and ufs we v in mlete ile untilh o plled u vr Pascha soke t h in Rusia andhn w v away again.



ASCA: Te fine tis is 30 rob

KARL What, f aving a dirty a?

ASCA: Bt tey at b ilm wil finig u, s nofine.

KARL ut hy wold ally?

ASCA: Tey wu. hy wu if tey ha hingbttr to d. h ubles Abot te las.

KARL ut, sil, i' y a ity ca Wat abt h brakhn? u tl u te brak we ogy. What wold teyd if tey knew abot tha?

ASCA: A, technicay hing, base sia is mconcerned abut apeaance. t' istt wit h gnea

Rssian atten form a apeara I yu av eror,fatal rrors, i yur dcuet tey will t be tice. yu co oehing ot a rt it yurslf it wi bticed a yu will b uird t fi ut h nti tigagain.

KARL ah, we had tat at te airort wit a teeqipet W ha t wit it ot oeone ad a mitake

a w ha to d it al agai

ASCA: w hi is h kind f iscusion I o welcoebaue it as to d wih te ee o h cotry

I got ut o h ca wile was on i god sie. h dirtortok e t a o-loking pa hat hught wa gig to b or

fod I etred te ai rom whr o dak wodn nitursakd p ay ligt. e ma bogt so o antiqe fnitlik tis once bt m a fund it desing s e tip it andpainted it i wie glos. ma went ma. i hat st f



hing a lot He ah an l namnt wih a Bllo pa ' s hhught it was dsty and all h paint cae of, e tipaintig it islf I nd u okig lik a gad gmThe' a sg y anie iwate wit yic that g toksmtig et a ait it rd 'm s ai ut avmt e ad



Me sat aund takig m naked, sm with vey ittle apart fro a twel a a whit bell-hap hat I sat dw oneo h ht leah igh-bake chairs. Nt h st f hair to it aked 'cs it stiks to yur ski It tok bak t we y daha a ortina wit a ak PV itri, seat hat snydays cold hat p to tpratures clo t tat o mlte lavaPeole aways tlk abot te ht umr o 976 we it wa soht yu cold y eggs on yo ar bnet W, i y da's Fordtina we u av swcok a leg f amb Baby seats wet d back te 'cs h ot patic kept yog kid tuk thir sat. veyne ad ca at oves i h at '7 not for

cot bt co ty nded t to driers ettin tidg b an ove gove wre u a ving gove thstg weel gt o ht.

I ick a row o satig whre noboy ws sat apit at oe od o te m wich hght wassasag A late t p wit ti tis o dark eat Icoldv been bit f burt ars ski sapd f atersfa, bt it tur ut t b he eat and gig on te amunt

o mat on h pat ' say it was h whle h I wa ieqite spiy and tat all right, bt dit gt t at uh a aman hrew e a twel and asked m t get undress. hi lacewast jut a restaant it was a banya, whi is a traditionaRssian team bat. lokes wer waeing abu in th hgtiled area warig th little whit ft ats b nowt t cvr hblloks I yu e ot, sy te hat coes of bfe te at!

I' not a go k Its like beig nak wit sks on it lokboy tpid It alway es t be te pp yu dt wat ts ake hat ae apy to be nak. h man said tat te hatwas wor t ott h ha ro h itns ha i te auna was asting i te I wa asked to on a be we ahrman h tok it p ime to batte e wit a b. t watig ro a bi t hat tey ue t hlp blod icuati As Iwas bing whaed, ote mn i h aa sat a cee a

laugh. hre wa t bit tat wa nice abot h whleexeince. t ft like wakig tog an atoati car was.

I've ad qit a w difernt ty f assags aro hworl a hy're gtting madr. n China ha oe wman



b y gs waing gvs tat wr set on re. haiand I ada wman prisr beig m abut I saw smtig on teitrnet recety we tey pi a loa f sakes yo back towiggle abot! hres ve sm ceur that nvlvssearing bir all vr yur fa to take f dea skin. exeinced this whn my et magpi pod my ea a Idit have anytig to wip it o with I togt d lav i untilI got oe but I nd p orgtting it was thr. A ew oslate, it was pit ut t so I aned it of t find it habt away my ear But wats te wld coe to whn a relaxingda is havi saks a vr o back a ur ae smared in

birshit ember whn a os fa wash was sig IprialLeate, a xpsiv ba o soa that we y g ot we weha visits.

After I bee battrd by te bus I was tld t u a chai a buket that thn tilted a pured a gall o frezig watr ovem t nish f th elaxing pross ht t co back to ht athn freezig a it ike Pascha s prsality.

Later, we ad way via Red Suae t whe wold bbaig th Tans-Sibria aiway. t was th fst tie Id sntosts whie beig in th cotry Thy wre a usy gttingpots o thsves stod by St Basi s Catedrl. Whn thinko Rssia this is th bilding pit Its not yr al dsigfor a atha It oks ike soething a ttey wine or afotbal igt bild Th amunt o iffret los it,yu tik th whle thing ha bee one sig ux sappts Te story gos tat va th Terible was s imssed witth buiig copt e gog ut te yes o thaitects s te wolt build athr one ike it. s a bit

hars but ten his nam says it a



Th biggt ue in Red Suare eed t be pole whwat t see h da boy f plitial lead ni He ied i1924 and wa bale a te ut i a gas x I tik qite lik h iea f tis. Pep w ve orget im wile e'hre to b n. States kind o d hi jb, bt yu cat bathavig h actual prs, can yu I we i w gt t a ointwhre w o it ih vd I an iagine haig Szanewax and stf in h frt om Ijst have e at readinga bok That sms lik h ot norma tig t ave e oingIf sm cam und t a te te ecorate teywoldn't ay ayhing t e co eole on't interpt pp

wh are eaig. y woudn't w he was std Ijustchang h bok w and again o tey dit hink e wa asw radr. hnk it wol be nice aving hr re lik hathan t at all

W gt to te tation arly, whi wa jst as well a it wasn'teasy wkig ot wich trai I need t b on. N okeEglish, a h sig idn't elp i te ligtest Rusia has teagit-okig ft in th world We ema st cae abot I

ued to get tld t to writing vrything i apita a ti osacs a tog R SHOTNG. at' wat a te ignsi sia ok li A v te wold lok ke a waing on abttle o bach

After a ot o waeing ao tig t make ens o hdate board we evtally o o trai A ten-lokingwoa wh ha a fac ke te was a ba m i te air

chke my tickt a gav m a d My littl cbin wan't afancy as I togt it wa goig t b. was pitig te rintEx we h aiages hav bight wite table cts andsve ute. i ad wn r velvt sating lik te typ yus i a Abereen Agu Stakhu in on a a owhit net tai. Still had y own spa, a tat wa orimortant ta te ecor. Whn a tain at o i' nice t gta table but its a gab, a yo ve know wo yu b

saing it wih I' ke gig om ine with I at and payd Pati, a ad y way hugh ahr

paket f evels Tigs wee going well until abt two o inwhn guars cae to my dor and aked t ee y tikt I y



gave e h fit-a ach f o many tp and I hu avmv a wile back I ai I wol ove but ed soe timto get y tf tgter Tey waited t ak e I olowdh a w ad o way own tog te carrig tat gotsalle, selie, smokier a bsie W stpe Te samsac ' ha t myself in firt las wa now sa wit fiveote. t was ik one toe ad harity vets we tey tyto uz as mny pp as psib it a h box. h gadpit to a bd I ay b but it was m ke a self Thi wahir a. dt ev nd ttrs hir a.



Th pp bw gest hat I it wit h. h way teywe ae togehr I prm hy wre a amy but teywen't Th mn o th grop oked tog. ha a black eya oe ts a bruie on is fa He fred m a brwhi tok Ria h director to m I hu giv imsmtig in t, a ti i wat travrs o hn sing histai I oe bk sm Rvels wich h ecd Jst aswell a teye ot t veybdy' tate. lik all h avos butsm pp dt lik te olate-vred cofe techcoat-cove ang s In a way its te Uivalent toRssian rutt i te olate w. gt my ard ut and

ted to tach tem h iger or lowr gaeI idn't av to i hir a i h e a te gars

mv m it second clas ae it started t kick o btweesm drunk Pli eole and me uia I g tey idn'twt s to im i. S css ws ik ist ls wiht hvvet.

I let lik a baby Whn I ay lept ke a baby, I ea I wau al nigt. e tilets dit work. hy wre lke ha a

hur bor gtting into a tation but te sm sati we alfa hur apart wich eant hy wre ver oe Tey a hava rle tat yu ct u te 0 wile at a station a te tot haa eda tat pti te 0 taight t te tak. hink hysold allow yo t u te o wile i h tati becas ifhman wate wa a ove te taks it wu sto kis msigabut h. tting u signs sayig age esn't tp

h but i hr wa a chance f gettig hit hir taines Imprtty ure tey ut b as k t s abot te nes



Ri R<i/ i C

Tis sunds ik th ist trai jury o a trai jrys passig imessive views whist traving in oecoft bt t think it wold be as emable as thTrans�ibria base that was pretty gi and bamories sm t hag aund in y ea f ge anda a lot clear than te hapy s Maybe its beawhn m ofrtab in a sitation my i thinks abotote tigs weeas i I' not njoyig soething can'tthink abut anytig ese. i yu wat an orgettbhliday on't bte wit te aibbean go t hyl f afight

Th xt ornig icky a to tell m that it was 5 yassince i Gagarin becam th ist a in spa. ebat hsggested I visit tar ity, whi is hm to te i Gagainsmat Trainig Cetre. A teachr at y sol said hwav t Yuri Gagai whn e visit Manchstr i 91 aftrhis tri int spac. sai Gagain drove tog ss ie,whi soe wu say is ore dageos than traving t otersac, a undrs o eole cae ot in th ai to sow tei

apiati He sid h was a te e wh ad riskeevrytig to mak histy for is ot. embe t binglh impre� e im, s ke mky h ee chit spa bor hi. was basicay taking v a mokysjob. w had ca it have bee Plus te was s u mthat need invtig back thn. What was th rus to ge tsac Yo know, we and te o be smthught abot uttig weels on suitass

Th teace te asked us t wit a story abot dig an hoiact and te spech yo wu mak atewards. mad a storyi wich I ad one o y tsils ot to give to my brote I wrot



hat cut d a pch abut ow I lt abut y hroineaftrward a y hrat ur. e taer wrot azy i red pn.

I wan' rally inere i ace we I wa yoger It wamtig ta wa a big da ber my im I ike it o ow

Bnidr wa a ouar lace to g i h 97, hn Tnerie ih 98 Spa wa all th rage in h 1 960 Si Atrglaed on h mon i eem veryone a lo inter atrig hre wa mch hre.

I got t Star ity. hr wa a tatu o Gaga far awayfrm e aartet h ed t ve i Te had f te tate wago and okd like im, b h roer wre o go.

Maybe ti i why m au are o ak bdi Scuori it air crvig ut a knob and bock ta gettig tecra in ruer t lok rea

#@ Ml Rshre ,

retty mred by h ea at av bn arv nMot Ror Mr f ti hud b d Thre'loa o munai a over te wrld a we on't o mchwih te ahr han takig a unk o rck own ro amunai a makig a lptre and hn ickig it in a

town nre wer i ju ge i te way av te rckwhre it belong and lpt i hre.Al ep ge t whn hyre ut bng in

munai in Scotand Wat u ak e aer for



sce pp han beig ab to i-pit we yu ae bysayng wos fa yure big p Als ybe kidswold gt f hr ase ore and go walkng hy ug and s t aces o ne Diti cut nto Bn Nvis



I wa gt b a man a Andr kitt ot in coonautovea. was gig to sow m ao te place. irt tpwas at te centifg Ti i a bit f kit tey e to givecomauts h ng f G-f, whi tey xpiee ontaking f i a ckt Te cntifg was 30 ya o and okeit. Andr tok e own below into h big ha, s cold hsale o h hing I' te biggst cetriuge in h wor. A hg60-fot am sat n a assive otor with a typ f okpit he wee te sonat wold it a it sun. magi a giantswing-ba, wih a sat i h ball.

W wet bak ustais to h ontro om whre loas o staf

we tanding ao. Andre aid I u av a g in hcetrifuge I wast ke h iea, bt h asrd e it wub i I got it a arg etit-typ chair whe a few e iupuit bukld m p as if was gtting on h waltze at afair I ket asking wo was i arge, as I wanted to get aroshat wat a adreane jkie a on't ve ikorcoastrs, s on't ak it g to ast, bt it sed like noone wa teing t e a tey we a oncetrtig on thi

job. y eat wa oig. hi u've b w Yuri ftbor hi pace ti wit h extra press f knowing ecoldn't back ot de t h whle wld watching I a godriver a can vee ak uite ay but I kw tee aca waiting f e to park bef e an as a't o it Haviga auie chag tigs.

Thy weee m i te ai and s e it th cokit lik a

chike bing it an ove I was w hizta



KARL: can' wait t get ot. ty ll b s apyYo' te biggest sile yo'v ev een hn gt oto hi. ' t apy

AE: (laghs) t worry

KARL: What s h eaon aving to be in i oition?'Co tis isn't ven cofy.

RANSLATO ecas his is h psiti o hcoonaut urig tak-of. hi way te G-foce inluncyu in te best way Yo will not black ot bcaue tebo will be pread all ove yo boy

DOCTOR: C dw, Ka It w be s h G

KARL: t det man anytig to e, tat I idn't assie I got a i hitory, hat al I got

DOCTOR: t will b ev tha we yur girlfind ion yo.

KARL: u havet see er

DOCTOR: (laughs)

I oked vn oe on h iid Light blu a grey mtaevrywe wit a few wn switch and a bg sandad ocean blted to te ng t keep te lace o ey pld at mybt a ew or tim t mak e tey we ae a teloked h o I ad hapones on and old a evrydig hir last-inut chks. ft really hle at te Ihi ow it i or spae I idn't ve gt t it a tart btt

I tat t mve I tnsed u. e wman i h onto omaske m to al own and bate noraly I te ayhigme anying tan soeone aking yu t ca w It wa anod nsati, as the wan't rally any sund or fng f



mve, b I old eel ess psig m w as i spTh ie di las vry lg bu I guss a's 's i ms b aexesive hing run. nce a was over, I was o o a biefingon dails f zer gaviy igh ha wu be aking pa hx day a am This is a lig we yo xprie loaingaund ike y wold i sace. h insu exlai ha hpane os aally go io sa bu isea gs a eigha alws h basiay lme own o ea giving eimessi o oaing whn in fa yure aing

whl «s le (Uh to j /? k dd

moon f SoOh "bu p'J .

iL

He said we ms ea bakfas bu avoi cof fm nowunil afr h lig and a i we sik i is bes be sick ih bags a u be provid. we on o say a hrewold be aus ba f veyone in case ey weeuir.

A vie hn lay shwig a gru f smonas oaingaund Thn i sard geig illy Thy shwe li maes



oating aund and mn praying ream frm c and eatig it.o wondr thy gt sik

Th te was Davi olthar te la ivr atigabut wit i ca board, whi wa a atig. What wasgig on?! Wa a ti piig abot ay pat f te spaprgrame? 'v alway obt te eiu f t a aftr I

hard abut a atat wo it a goba 40 ft whn hwa on th mon. N we tey alway ut a ag we thyla teye laying body itch ptt p te



We I wa hliday yas ago n Florida w pa t g a NAA tur whh nvlv s gong o a setatpator. We u jt abut te htle n h dtae.It idn't take ff hog t was gig o b ahr woweeks be g of te go. Wa' te ot i

bng h hn?' I skd I's lk gig t h Ths fw ays b ew a's Eve t see wee te reworkwill b gig f

I ayed te nigt i one o h bck f as that we but orh omas o ve n bfore and ate tei tri no ace twork te ace tation. hy wer hng ay ia t h

t f rom yu ge n a ravdge. wa a n h comakte eatig se bis whn I met rg He ad js gbak ro big i ace. e ha bee away f a ew onh andwas ga t b bak. ak im wa t wa ke t see eart ou hre but h sa hy wre a to bsy to b lkg ut fwiow. o im i was jut ajob. aske h wa h worthng abo is work wa, a h said te tae f ba. a

brad n pae det ast as as i o ah ot exatyh eech I wa xecig. desn't have qite a u ut aeil Arsrongs, bt ges vryone ife

egi ticed my bis, s e red e me is spafod I was sed to tat alf f t was i tn ans a h oern or whre yo gt a rng pll, wih ea beli-ff i mt have bee msjob to chk tey a a tnoer. e tne o idn' ok vry apeisg Tey we

vry lai ca ta ried m f whn I work i CdB ueak and w ue o a f tigs cha tadt have any abe. t was a bi o a gamble at e prca It u av bn bea, u tew mat r dg fod



He wnt of t i rom a ca bak wit smatapy e a a suveir. i ng wat great but thinkh sai i' wat tey wa uring h trip t te pa stati Itok it, as I togt it igt coe in hay te trai ing ash tilets a costantly loked

Th xt ay it fl to go. wa rally tired and ha as hrat. ha t av y hat eck b gtting bah zeo gravity ight. h dctor ask if ad ay problm. to hr I gt haes a av ha kiy tons a ba bak,sinu bs, bit o eza and ave qite at ft Aftrchkig y tat and ars sh ai I was t well and tat y

glnds wr swolln, nd ht it woudn' b go t g yig s cold aag y harig. Nw iI beig hst, I wan't tatfue. was ga to gt ot o dig th zer gaity ightExerincig wight eem ke te utite azy ting towis Tee re tis whn I wis it wa osib, lik whn Ihave a eilig to aint, bt hr han tat I idn't h oint.Th director wet whit wen h hard ut g. lokeme ta I elt. xlai hat it ha st a t t get

on hi igt Wat u d? wast willing t o my ear in.I a icky t let im kw.

KARL: can' o it I gutte.

ICKY Why not

KARL: y alh isn't god eugh

IKY: Wha d yo man

KARL: Well had a mica. hy hav t giv yo amical bef yo get on it. aw te dct ad e aidyur k a swlle, yur se is gwig ad yo eaa wet or soehing

ICKY: u sund lik a fcking abrad! Wat d yoman?



KARL: Well ' love t d it but can't. Se aid it' tworth it, I u ae myelf or daag if g and gti I ai I gutt but it to dangro. ut can jutchck mtig e in the. kw we've id or it itcot a lot f oney Ill jut giv tem mtig e t gi, a tey a lm tat atig abot.

ICKY: Wha d yo man giv te mtig e Whwat t ee a toate oating ao? h viewer wat te Kar Pikigton atig aro.

KAL t hy'v bod i w, v t hy, so hymight a wll d it beca it' paid or

ICKY: (sigs) Right

I aw anoter dctor to get a pinion ad tey aid ha tonilliti an gave e oe antibioti Th repti

feate th a angry ont Id n a t uring my tip Itlok lik a box o at pi

Th director a rw went on bar. ga o thcomaut a amiy pak f vel to tw abot i zeograv, a wa ik f tem I wt t e wat it oked likIt wa baically ajub jet wit windw, al te eat taknot a atte tied t te or T men we traped to acontl aa I ge thy wre the t ignal what to o, '

I' etty tey wen't te to rve nut an dty edug t ight

Th fi cw loke worie ick I wa apy t to b goingon it. went a at at a tab xt to th runway for abot a hurbor thy a rtur with all bag f ick t o th aidit wa go but tey woldn't want t d it agai



Yo jst soldn' be aowed t o tis unless yo'reprepared t ji te F and go a fght in a a. shub a pk o jb f te proessias not smtig haaybdy an ars ao wit. bae ey arkson.

Bak te trai was pgaed t sec classRiky called t me kw e' araged sme copany or

m He said I was going ee ag Man. (As is aesggess, h is a a wo is magti) ejy wird stf likhis its what ks te w itresting I ae my way o hiscariag Mikail was a da ringr f z ut o Te HapyMondays. ws bare�esd and h didn't seak Eglish, shre was no smal alk He wn sraig into sticig cutry this es Its a sage , 's as mch as i is a typ osprpwe its one ta yo hink ig be a sfu one. eembe seing a bk on h TV wo a a god sprpweHe u mss abot wih liv wires wihut it kilig im, blik ikail h it d mch wih it,jus sd is pwe tcok sasags in his as.

I was trying t think o psitive ss or a age a but Istrugg. indig a le in a aysak aybe. hink I aeu wih me ress why i was o a wakss ta aadvatage If e ay a mta-sing mattress wol e avbn able to gt o b?



US B

AI J k AI arady i thre fr te ocasts Th mst dwadpdast in te world in 0 Bt cat say 've gt uto sow or it (icky kept th etifiat).

I was in adia recntly a lac tat takes gttingit th rr boks qite seriusly I tik it's cos teir

couty i qite e it' iptat o the peple to brgnisd or dig soething I et a a wh broke arr fr runig or 3 hurs whist isteing t te amsg vr and r agai I ecid d tak tis chalgeon wilst was tere I idn't boter wit th ning artbt I listned to te r Mn the t over and over agaiI ad it i my hapones fro 10. am until g 1 pm. at ight Riky called my pone abot five ors i

whi stop te msic fr a few ites so te irectorsaid it osn't unt but I are on. list to th temtune vr 1 ,50 ties It wt get i a bok but know I idit and tat's a tat unts reay.

As I was tikig ths things over, h contied to stick frks,knivs and w p lates to is bdy. was mr f a manpt rak. thught it wold b sefl fr beig has-fr whnusig a obile h, bt his ars dit seem t av magtipwer I asked i h ha bee a magt baby, a e shwed mpots o his kids wo wre aso magt kids Th pot shwedth li p wit bits f mta and pats stuk t thm Thydit lok artilar apy, bt tat was no sris Ty catb a clos amiy bcaus agnets rel a thr.

He te assd soe f is magt pwers t m by rbbigth varius ating tnsis his a te laing tm onm Thy id stik r uit sm tim, whi maks think itmst b own t hi beig sweaty Its a spwer that u



b batn by tam pwdr. a is lik is krytonit. At alfa hur we had t to not co sing hi owrs wea im ut,bt baue it was cloe t lunchtie and te trai kitchnwat it ctl bak.



Eve at e ont ha togt abot wh uerowrthy wu lk to av Tortg a god , btSuzan ha enog oay a t If w cold d th 'dver gt anytg one a h'd have g all vr tho ap�htng und god, bt 1 dt know ow

oe ' che t be e Fyn must be eate apgeon have te ablty t d t, bt mt o the co towalk I be apy t av th yng owr f a chke, that fel ff a ro I av th abty to a own t thgro afey d have da f a uereo I ke tob I be uht Ma Ter a lot f blt bngote all the tm We bldr or ma tred t rpp o d ke t hav prharng that ntve t

bllt tak. d y n and ot ut ' a thy avto tak back what thy ad a t r eole f Threwoldn't be ay vonc Ijt tat te act tat whatthy ad jt ad wa but a tey wu av tochang thr way for thr b to vv Mayb 'let thm but once or tw a e a ttr o warngfrt, bt aftr that I' y 1 wolt bothr t a

prhro coue a tat buht Thre' o .Suera ed p vaab tm g a h box tochang ntead o gttng wth te jb n ha.

Stepe a eage abot e gg t vt a tradtahar atr earng tat wan't to well. can't magRan bng t tratal hang, a thy ee lk a

e cotr (I obt ut Man wold b need n tpart o th worl vey ote) but wa apy t get of te trana 1 wa ffr wth mt kne 1 et wt athr manaed Are, ae nam a th ella at tar ty



Mee soeoew j ownI tik it as to be surae as w as ist nam fo ths tct, bt dt know wy this s te uket st It'just nd p bg a confsing day. And I wut wat toseak to th blke anyway as it wold be asy f im t

stal m dtt once e gt a few ore dtais f m

A and hs ries we i te idle o whe iggighles i a fest. was handd a sovel and asked to ig I ki fgess by te size f te o tat t was beg ug f e t gtit but wat dt ease was tat y wo bdy wold gtcove nclui th ha.

KARL: S yu hads er I idn't realis that I togtyu meant just n t wt yo ead ot. w d yobreath

RANSLATR u se a ip

KARL: A pe

RANSLATR a.

KARL: w yo kw if ' panickng thn if ' undrthre gig mmm mmm mmm o cat ea e!

RANSLATR e a sm saety rus and m

safe precautis. Wve been dig ths a long te andevrytig wet fne evy tim Jst embe tt yo'ab to stp t at ay ot yo wsh Tee s a ecfst o signals udrgund tat w ca har.



KARL: w are yu pikig u ignals? Tis i mntal!Honestly, tis is dat tis

ndre blos into ppe thee times

RANSLATO u



KARL: What

RANSLATO bs w imiately tak h

prs ot o h gro. ike tis the beeps ts ayeasy t o If yu eel yo wat to tay a bit logr he hi ape a lot s h ignal. wo bees

KARL: wo bees t ave e a Wut it b bttrto o two be to gt ut 'cs tat Uike Tree beeptak ge t o

RANSLATO We can d watevr yo wat

KARL: We ned a yte hre!

Apantly, ti is an ait or f elf-eghtnmnt hatwas u by haa I uit ejy h digging f te o

hre wa oeing teaeti abut hat at, ats why ppd gadnig bt v ve n Aan Titmars get i a hleaftr pantig his etunias.

Th tansat tried t xpain wy shu gt i te o: Inextrem itatios te tig hat k eole is paic A i'eay diicut t reate a stat whre th state o far i arundyu vry igle oet I sm evryay sitations, fexap, parachte jmig it at only a w mnut i'

t hat hard He yo el uncoftable a bit lngr o it givesyu ore f a ance t lean to comiat with it, wih yoown fars. We jt nee to la to ounicat it te far.'

I trid aling Stpe t ee i h was awar o what I wabing asked to , bt it wnt to vicemai I alled icky oawr hre ei.

I togt Id giv it a go I on't kw wy Mybe it wasbase fe gUty abut t dig h ze gavty ight, b lik a bit f ea a qiet hw bad cold it b Ae tldm tat t sto panic i' best to ot lowy t ca mysl.Thi kees te bain bsy a stp it fm wryng Thi on'tmake e t e. f untig hs to calm yo own wy wa



woried all h ay hrugh my mats tests at scho te nd Idied to tra e iPh to e ead a iste t Strage nTh Sh by Acke ilk on eat. t' a alig bit o msi Ive get ick o. ey laid a sht f patic i h hl and ayon it and ad a ittle o o arh or a iw t t y eaon. ey p h sht v e lik I wa a chik wa tuk abit f gae hip i y mut hat was long ugh t stickot o h gro and te hy tat hrowing eah ove yleg. hy wre ove my fa i no tie He a gettigbie yet Lni wos da i above go. h mui in yhapones see a lt ue now hat wa egro but

was unab to ve t tur it dw I ao ft really o. wasi wih it, bt ha a tt bit f a panic wh it am tswalwig y sava a 'm alway wakig p i te ightchking li on y back Iv wecked illow wit h amunto saliva tat caes fm me W have to elac ur pws aot s hy gt stin wih ight brw siv ths Ty u loking like 'v mae a pilow ot o a giaf. wa buyfouig and wawig wh te uic wnt o and h h

started igig. let it go t voiai mv y gs sligya th eart Uickly lld any gas hat wee te b, so fet ore press m te go above. gav e te beessiga Tey dg e ut I' d abut iftn inuts Teybn buy diggig anote o wh I wa e te, and awoa ha ture u or a sessi I aked why se wa oing it.Sh ai sh sfred fm clautpobia and tgt hi wu

h h beat it.I njoyed big er hr. t was h mot relxing hig 'dd since beig i Rssia I tened t te mge I got whn was undrgro. t was Riky



ICKY: Arigt boy. Gt yur mage. a tat oshrble. wdn't d it. ut, h hig hy bury yoa jst av te ead ot hats m ager becassmone wold dtey ue yo a a otba a gve it abot Don't i Ta' ak it wors I yu dt lik ita yo gt dw ter a ' orb jut a, m acelebty, gt me ut o hre.' hats hw it wk That swhat Kery ata di and e wa hr o th Year

W t bak te trai I wan't a as it ad ben at tebginig o h joney Thy ad dtaed a w carriag, ashre dit seem t be a ay pol tavellig h last leg

Sepe alle

t sund ke yo have bee chng, elaxinga ittig on yo ars whi i great. t' imrtat for yu

to ave a tte al tim But w' worried abut yohat yo divasla yst weve aaged toarage a tt orty xcurs for yo. ts gt a ort o yaknow, excisey lymic vib I on't want t gve tomch away, s, yuve got t o a qick tur goa,a te yo'e all et.

I on't kw y cudn't d sm Olypia ativity inRssia Tat cuntry i u f Olyians Ive ner ea o aMonglia Olypian.

I et two Moglia alled tgonbayar a alag wh pikem p a tok m by heback t tei oes Tey live iwhre land an ha hree ge a tye f big ro tet Teywe realy omy. A a as I u work ot one wa a logeone wa t sleep in and te ti was f gut. hy wemm n and I et h et o te faily The wre ute a few kidknokig abo wo gessd belong t h a no one eliv und te ats. ut hn hink I ved i a pa likhi d bably have a ew kid. haven't botee havig tem



'cs i sms ik a o srss havig hm in Bai I kwpp a hm wh hav m, and y hav o oay chaghir lif r rund ar m Ty g rd lik gos

Whe I ivg whe� v e's p: t re o

liky o bring a ki in h world a m oing i. hrwas a ki o ry bfr yo buy' s I kw wha I wasgna nd p wih i woldn' b bad bu r garan i wu b a righ lai a wha o yud?

Yo d a hus wi nog bros a coss a

forun o Yo an' h pay u in as sm aksh or hy g r ovr, whi mas yo g drggd inosnding h o a r vioin ssons o kp h bsy aaway frm gig ino rob Yo'v g g i ago scho, a hrs rssur fr m o wll s y cag on g a god jb, b hy on' s o hav any f osprbms hr.

I was givn a cu o a, b yud nvr av gss i wasa. hy' ovron i wi h mik and can' sa ilky a.Js wriing miy a maks gag lus aways wor abudrinking mik abroa ar aving a iy bi in ia ha ma malms si o a lg. rak a li drp a was oig o g io a lv ha wu sm ru lav bu ay f hus kp pig i p Sh ha aso brugh u a la ochs, so ay bloks o chs I u hav bui a

consvay wi i.



Otgbayar passe me a leaet with htos f wrstlers i it.This was te sort tat Stehen was takig abot Te vilagewate e to rereset te at the adeem estival where teprize wold be ive milion tgrik wich is arund £2,0 Iexlaie trg a trasatr tat I d one a lt f wrestingarund te wrd a ad never w, s it was a pitessexercise but e said Otgbayar cud longer entr as e ad a

hea inju r a otrycle aiet a they w begratefu if aceted te allege I agree to it. amiyseeme reay apy, bt I kew I wasn't going t wn.

They brught ut more eese i celebration. t always amazesme ow welcig soe f te eole are i tese oreigcotries acha exde At hme I on't eve kow myeighbors. ears ag yo got t kw the ro brrowing acu f ik a litte bit f sgar but sie shps ike TescLoal are oe virtally 4 hurs a day its got rid o that itteiteraction. Neighborod Watc to e is ecking myeighbors aret otsie their ose beore I eave te at, toavid gettig into g isssis.



: I

m f-

After a sma amot o tang f te wrestng ty pt the ksto bed a we sat ndors A e f te amly d a ttle bt otata Mogla thrat sgg. lke t a lot He prouedamazng suns o s thrat tat I avet heard a mae ora instnt ro a akin ts tat mtimssunde ke tey were mng m soeone/soewhere ese Itwas a oer sll. Ate a whe fet te ge to jon Icoldn't get the tones that ths ma u but proe soedeent ones. tgonbayar a hs amy loke presse and thught perfoed we, as I d t wth condence aconfee that knew woldn't ave at te wrestng tefowg ay I I ved smewee lke ts I spend tme tryng

to ea thrat sgg. At te oet, I earng t lay teukuee, bt I t pratse eugh, as there's aways smetgelse that ees stng at hme Tee are so many tgs yu ad whe yo aven't got the tgs tat need stng Aexape o ths s the mc otps. ts a otps thatsleaned t o presss f ther stu lvng n te sea. ' suret pked u these sklls 'cs ts gt wt ese t o a day.

I slet well a go ur or fve os before bg woke uby a raye eature scatg abot on y ruksck I tecoudn't gt bck t . ast su if it a baus I aervus abot the westlg that fae e or fro all te cheeseI' bee eat earer. st wasn't eelg to go, a ygands were swoen

I got p when heard ovemet utsde Otgbya's ewas deang wth te goats. had a wash n a snk a e

woden t wt a lace the pen gun between twoo the gers It's at tes lke ths ease ow a ll thstavellng s Im les away frm hme, far fm aywhere n a



sot I' ot kely neve trav t agai, bruhing my teeh Ita od eelig.

Th director sid y westlig clotes wer on my bed eay tchang it. ha nevr see ch a mixed-u ofit The wa apair o sma red ort wit bead wn on a d -tesoldr ardiga tat aiy cove y arm ad lowr bak apair o bot wit cled-u tos like meting yud xpct agnie t wear, a a hat tat oked ke it ad h nek o achapag bttle on te to. h we t h esig tigt in. anyting, hy wre h tat wold start a gt.Lay Gaga wu tggl to gt a date ok. as sur h

caian beon to on of the kis i t famly a ad bmemixed p i y e I lt ay iritable o t dimt oh loths Mayb tis was h ida, a hy ad yu eel oru f a igt.

W gt to te estival we ter we tosas o pp.Th Mgoian resiet launch te evet, whi fatsingrs a ars o all ages, and gt y st gpe f tekind f epe wold b westlig. ey wore t same utit as

m, whi wa a elief, as I onetly togt d ben set u.Ths fela wre maiv, similar i iz t tat a mowtle To make tigs wor, I ad to wait iv to ix hursbor it wa y tn to igt. ha tat fng yu get weyure a kid a av aang t hav a figt wit soeone atrsol. A day it eys on yur mind I wt g nto g wdydta abut wat ape o tee notig t say I st, as I

prdit. tgobaya a hi amy dit sem to bhrdhughA h, as if none o it ad evr hap was bak te

ans-ibria xs te nal g o y ukt istchang Te wee ore hines paeger now Tat maem ok at te giebok te st tim ince d bn he. saw h dita I ad cove and notid w we going itia Aftr viitig China t see th Gat Wa, a not

ejying it, I idn't ke te ida o viitig it agai I soke tRiky wh said tat wa te ras h togt it a a go idato go again to iv it anoth a. Nw at i I got bakfm ia, I ke to a mat wh i it te same st f d



hing i life a e a h mntioned a pa hat I wa gutt Iha t viited So I tld te iet abo it. wa wi abotit bing t vry otiay rt but te lace xist andignoring it woldn't ang anytig. bga sting utprmissi to g a fi hre. hught it was i kig wihh aim f te ogam: meting ifet tyes o pp asig hw tey ve. t wa warf Vage.



I' a prp vilag wo hed or s wa idnts it srvi a oic orce. Sm f te was a hingbor hi lace no wk no oney a nowee t ve. utw becas o Dwa Villag, hy o Thy eor twi aday igig oig agi a aing Th shw was t de tstart f anoter hur, so had a walk ao te ace. sawbi h se we hy all ung aro in lttle mshros.O dwarf wa oing m at by aving ito wd Dwabildr wee buy bilding an xta ta mso hat woldevntuay be at (te nubr o wa ming hr is on thireas. A grop f wmn wre at arund chatting whe

g . w g.I wu pref to b a dwarf ta big lik Stpe (Merant.

Wat ar h adatages o beig tall? ak away any hatises dwarsm ay cau (whi dt hink te ae ay fas Ive nevr ee a wa i a dctor's waitig ro a Imch rahr be sma ta tall. was h hight f a dwarf we Iwas abut six ev, a I neve tggled tat u. woldhave bee a lot apir on th sh i ti clas s a wa

Ohr psitive r hat kig-iz Twixes wold b assiveclotig wold hae a hre wu b me g ro panes.

Aund 0 t 30 ep tned u to watch te hw. tlast aro an hur a wa ote by tw copres a maa a wman wo wee ke te Richard and Jdy f wa world,a w sings a Pt Andr a iy An and loas o dance

The wa a li bit f magic whe a dwarf wit a hia atts a blts a te oged tem u agai, a hn te hw w g g-- g w w sventy dwarf tage a te king o h war epicam o a wved to te pctator

Ria te iect was worried abut eaturig hi in hprgrame. textd icky t get h mbe or Warwick Davito run h concet by hi. was i h lm ar a sed

u a soe ittle bea tig. s payed a leecaun andprbaby a gm in oehing T m hre's ire iwhat h o t wat hyre oig e



KARL: y Warwik I' arl icky' ate.

WARWICK: Yeah Yo aright Wat yu u to

KARL: 'm dig hi trav tig and, u ' i CiaI okig a a war vage and I wa jst sayig yo'rh only wa I kw at oe, a I wat t un tewhle by ya co know hat ep a hm igtgt a bit funy abo it ayig yo shut b havig

a ttle wa ae' and all hat But, i's a o tepp a ea hapy h, ie little shw hy ut , and jut togt it wold cove e i I oke to y and saim at a wa vage' a yu wet, a 'v hard ohat It nice. God ya

WARWICK: Yeah, I av had o it. itey But dthink its i

KARL: Why ot

WARWICK: W, it's lik gig bak t h days o hfrak ow, ay. man thyre a in the tgte, ayue a gig i te to gawp at thm, baicaly

KARL: w, yah, I id, a yo know, he are

bk in littl ny otits a a tat a yu d st osile but hy'r silig. hink its aligt iit

WARWICK: tik i' terrib, Ka I an't bieve it.How wold y ke it if I and vone watching teprogae p rund to yo ose and wath yu dh wasig p

KARL: N tey arigt onesty. u as ba asevry els goig Thy're t apy . yu wen't inta ars a a te ats yu id, what wold yo bedig?



WARWICK: W, I un but 'm compit I ataywat to o what d. h epe in th dwar villag iia tey might av hr chice a ats whatworie m s hre' xpitation gig te Yodt know wh's bhi te ces uning it al i yumt hm?

KARL: ah, ters a kig.

WARWICK: A is h litt

KARL: Co e i.WARWICK: Bt hat might be a ow kig.

KARL: N n, it wa te had ma He wa at h tp Hha a itt clak and a cw , shaes and y u tellh was i hage

WARWICK: Bt h's jut a prormr and it cold be anact. h ele, tey might not wat t be the. SriosyI tik i' a ba hing Yo'r jut ncoagig m o hist o hig by sowing it a baically, ejing it

KARL: S i all yur wk drid p teye ot makig aw ta as, yu cat dres p as a ttle mnky yo'vegt money comig i yo wudn't tik abot cmig

hre th

WARWICK: efiity not, hat wu be h last hing 'd. 'd jut get a pr job.

KARL: ut yu wu t gt a oe job. v ve n adwarf wit a orma jb Wen Ive ad pmbe ot timea tim agai or my knackee bile, a dwaf ha nevr

tur u.

WARWICK: Bt hats t to say te ae t ny wapmbe.



KARL: haven't ee ay. 'm 38 Wawik ad I've nevrse a dwarf lubr.

WARWICK: Bt dwaf o ave guar jobs. er will ba wa pmbe ut te smwer but wa' apeingo i ia i sggation. t's exloitati, seosly

KARL: u havet bn. S ti i wat any e abotpp Im in h hik f it e I tod by hir hua teyre a apy. es a wman I et os a littledwarf, se' y b e fo monh, a ss aleay

he w om o lve in. w y e me hatwg.

WARWICK: Yo actally aked er, di yo? A yuhapy ving i tis mso? And e said, a, I'havig a weru e . .

KARL: Se kd apy

WARWICK: Thats it ta's h ky wd Sh lokdhapy' It' a prformance. hy ight b misable oncyuv lsed hat uhrom dor Yo kw h's i tera h might be israb

KARL: jut anted yur bakig. hught yu be p orit.

WARWICK: ' a bit diapit i yu, to e onest

I kw was nly te a w hurs, bt h ony war sawwh dit lok hapy wa te one wo di h magic. ut I tikhat was jst hi tage psona wich consieig ter weove h o h wan't bad going We yu hik f

Sw Wite te was a grupy one, a hre wa y sevn fh. d g so a a t ay, copaed to Paa te rst man Imt wen I got t uia tis lot wee a ecstati



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Th pane want iect t Astralia. t stped at Taila. Nts why las an o eugh fel to y diret h ayMaybe te ilot wanted a ag bak. icky and tpe ai hatsig as it tos hre yo may a w s h pa I was wih te iea. lik Thai fo a a it, o i

Suzan to m t to be going t any ue hw. e saidh wo o igs wih ping-ong ba. hy shu itrouhat as a way o eleaig h Ball on th atinal ttey itwold ak it a t m boy intetig. dt know why thLottry i tvised Fo eole it takes a w A eetr anadjdiat, a bk wh it te tart bt a a ella wo o

h voeove tng s h tto ai nam at andha ad apeara Wo wat t know at Fo eoleto t six mber, yt tback ta at te uncil ma ca only get e bins emtied once a wek

I arivd in Bagkk on 1 Ail te ay f SgkraImagi arivg in Lon on Nw Yeas Eve aund 1 30

p. and yur htel is i Taalgar Sqa Ta's wat I wasfa with Te stival o ongkan invlv te loal hcking

wate v veyhing t cbat te tart o h raiy eason.Thy believ he wate w was away any ba luk ro hprviu yea and bs yu wih god luk f te next Js, ifhat what ake tem hapy thy old ove t Manchtera njoy h a tig and one i af fm te watrwh tis ftiva is on. Nt a lace t b if yo're a GremPoce get ased, shp onts aes vey a gt a bukt

o wate tw at it and pp on mps dt escap frm itThy get a ace u f wat ro pole aed ih watpito oipe and bckt

I o it od hat te unty ha y jut ie ot ro h204 tsunami yet e tey a ncing evrytg. icky ad ag at e yea ago wen I ai pp frm hi pat f te wldsm t age qik ta Wten eole but now I realis hyjut ok o an wrikly co teye tantly t fm tis

fetiva Te taic wa giloked, s ris th irector said wsold gt ut a wak. tok y sitcase wih m h fchance tat ti wu ak h cas a wa not te to



celebrate Sgkan and hat wa jut trying t nd my htel butit dit work I got wt hrog.



As well as geig we soeone rubb soe knd o clay i yfa o s i ha was par o h ceebaions r jus a loalunaic pe Sngkan can las f e ur ays. Wha is hpi n urg f h ap we brushing e h eevi w hs a wasing gas o war ove days I ell ya, if ey evr isa wa ees pp s hmshre i Thaia Songkan w be vr.

I saw is bg prmed on h elly urig on f egs I was nly Soe eser was n a w nSpan big p w oaos as se had abu

hw u f se was avng I ked se i s wol beas chey if med i hr a e esco oa achckd a oao a hr had o e vg as

Te veo sowd a uk nig u and uing ohusands f maes, a cals a urss rowing ea a hr d ae liv i is own s i us mak agh ess I a b ong wih necessary mss. s likconf a weigs. d undrsand hw conf sn'

class as ring Te hr hng s s a was foaos If ey have d ey cold a leas use oh less sefu fis, lik kmuas.

I go e hel and ha a shwrI go a call ro Sepen ellig m ha was gong ge

sm aning i o Taila's naional sps ai boxig.

Afer dig sees f n dio bades lile sursesd sok e as u. 'v coe acc hs ma liledvesions b Im sill aways on eg I's ke wag or ajack-i-e-box pp u, yu know s gna ae, b



yure not re we I ed o av h ae roble whn viied Riky i i o at He t jup o o h bincubar a walk own h cordr hi or but uh jack-in-te-box examp a m guig or pp coldreat t ta a f yo won't ave mat wh jup ut obin cubar.

Wa i it wit pain? f teyre not trwig oao aeac oter tey runing dw ayway avidingrapagig bll! t lik tey'r livig in a mutr gae.I poe ti i wat ape whn yu liv in a lac taha god weaher m o h yar rund eole m uwih at oi vet. W y av a bit o each yar

a a gru f eole i Gloceehir ca u wit hida o rling c dw a hi

Ti i wen a gop o pp ak over a pbi lac or aor pa o tim a da, ing or have a pillow ig.My problem w be gting o te right pa I awayarragig o met zane mewer a hn geig iwrg. e aot o prmarkt v walk aro iying o h t te realie Im in h wrg one.

d ti rt f tig in my lif I on't really lieaking part i gru activiti Suzan alway remind eo h ime e k m t a arty we we firt e ad eg ivoved i oing h onga Evry a h pary



joined in and wet ro th pb a it th cr park befcoig back into th ub. We e cae back in tee was dig te conga bt y wn by th bar.

I id a little bit o bxing we I wa yoger after sig th ilmstaring Sly ta Fils di ti t e. ti joinig adance b a sing lashdance on VS but I idn't get thatfar with it, as whn gt to th dance tuio, it was sht a wabing ed as warhue t hu tilet rlls A tryine amve wt or My bxing taiing was at te yut b and itwast vry fessia It was once a wek and it wa r by a

big fa wh wned th ie ipy I tik is main afor oing it was t get tog yog kis a hi ates o h dithave t pay tction my t so loa gangter t ok aftrhi ipy e wa aly ike th taine cky ha. tea othmig frzn mat, h battred ish

I avd at th hai boxig vee and et y trair. iae wa ing e eed a little bit anoyed tat w we late.I tld im it ws ' s o Songkan. wasn't wt. dubt ayone

wold be ukig bukets o water at thi ella. was a exchapi Mig idn't pak u ngi o tere was vryitt tak, bt ot traiing A o o prs-p, star up,kneeig a un bag and it-p wile is pt og jmed al ovem, thn it te ing t pa wit hi. gave a ead ga.I trid t xpain I wut ed a ha guard i h jut idn't itmy had e dit undsta. ha a wat on a elt dizzy. dt ay d any it stu but i di I tik wold osmtig ik thi. eanig self-efnc igt at at m iuefl if yu gt into ay bth. zane tried t gt m to oPilates whre thy ta yo hw t tet be ad balae but



apart fro whn m tyig y oa dt know whn toeskills wold oe i handy.

I tik becaus we hav got lazy as tie as g on wvitrdce excises f azy eole. ll vr fgt bing araby Street i Lon a wile back a a wan aking m I wanted to i o batig xeie! Wh i o laz tathy can't be bothe to bate Se tld e it an't ke hata that se w ta e to brah prly I tld e I wa37 and hught ad te ag f it



Later I got a txt fm Sthn

STEPN Aright, Ka Hoe yo ejy te ai

bxing traiing Wv organi a tt igt f yo tisevnig yu ca pt yur w skills it prctice Godluk wit hat It blifle Tai bxing

I idn't eta wy tis wold exit. h wo hing witThai bxing i ig all f te bdy t fight Fit eet and kes,s wy not ue te yes It ridilos Blind pp dt gtit many igts f a eaon. embe being i an aqarimwatching two aors av a ght, a it was ubbi. Cetainhing art mae to figt. h grat bxr Mhama A ad asayig Float ke a btty tig lik a bee' H it ad Eye o a o on te e.

I idn't elp tat w arived eay a it eant we ad tie ts a ew fight rst I wi hy' blindoed m bef got t

s hw it wkd, as h contestat aly go or it. er weall ages ight-ar-l as, ine-year-o girls flly�grwmn. was ca u. ifld. h bel rag. I swg yas ao and kicked ut I o at a wile beigbndld atlly gave m onidnc, as I ut seeh ow. i w und Ae whi I was ao tewine, bt hy y let wi base I was a toit and wasilming it f te TV Yo ight b tikig Ka, dt pt

yur dw Wy a yu aways so negativ aybe teyhught yo wr h bt ight anoed y te winer'W, if tat wa te cae wy didn't tey give e one f tealuiim sur coks hat h hr winer got

Th xt ay w had ove to angkok. was t eet meloa lady by Thi wa te id o Taila I ws worriedabut Suzan to m hy hav m pr dgy stf gigon he and t aoi th seedy aras Id ea f ay boys butdit eay know mch abut tem I togt o thm atansvestits, ju blokes wh lik weaing stick and knickrs,bt an't kidig any Tey on't vn ty a be wmn.



l

Thy till go t th loa a lay at and dink pit, mting Vivian a ca ay by, I wa blown aay. f ha tknown wold't av known. ha i ai in back, haleggig on wth high eel and not tat u ake-p Eve thway h ed h and te way e wakd yo' have utmy on it beig a woa I hok i hand ot jt ' Iknew e wa bloke but 'c I' only jut t hi. d d thae i it wa a wma

t c o m

e

t

k o v e r 1Viv tok e t a ail palo we we mt hi at Ji andam Tey wee ao lady boy I at and gt m ai one efet wile w hatt. dit ak te eon oing e te if tey

we a man a woa co it igt av oeed him, btaft eig Vv I now ave m dubt abut vyne e iThaia. e wk thy an av one i ke de dayFakentin tuf.

KARL: S i tat it f e w u t gig back

VVAN T big a a o, o coe not

KARL: Why av yu, eh, why hav yo ad it all d?Evytig gone?

VVAN Y.

KARL: . . igt. kay.

VVAN Hw ca yu go bak?

KARL: et te m way



VVAN Tis is h love t liv



The's no way ' fllow smtig hrog lik tat Iwoldn't ve ave a tatto 'cs I on't ke ida o bingstck wih it, s aving m kb o is t goa apn. eprs mv fr m tes and starting hakig away at te aski on my eel wih a tye f otat eele

VVAN'S FR N D Are yu gay?

KARL: N 'v gt a girie . sixtee yars

he a laugh

KARL: t's a od usti tog. ' sa hre aving yas one. u know, fair pay.

VVAN'S FR N D yo wat to be a gay yu mst try

KARL: dt hink I' ight or it. stly Te ifstylisn't e

VVAN'S FR N D u ust try

KARL: bve tat if I id giv it a go ' gt ito it. tslik oivs I ev s t ty oves. e I a fo, a was ke w's wrg wit oves? But dt want to giv

it a go I it apyVVAN o be or hapy tigt.

KARL: N.

VVAN Yes.

KARL: Na . ca

VVAN o, no I man to s h sow



KARL: yeah . . ll have a lok I' m ee watyu d . . at h ow

Viv ate i to m h ha beats but it aning oneoving h knb a bock. Nw tat I dt undrtandEv now I' back oe and have had tie to hnk abot it, itst aks see. Wo i okig f ta? a l' ke vingyur bato dwtair, whn it m t ellig yur os it pts pp o.

B ipjs said, Its like tis base ay boys a girl

v v in tis w I w I . v love my ongViv tld m e talk t e a ges on ay dats He w

tell hi ates h a ad h pation y if tey ask Mad mwondr hw ay bks ae arid t bks witot kwig.Suzan cold b a bk or all know It' d that hi anhapn in a wd whre w ae tld vehing abel sayingMay tain s' as ve bn m eui. t hi oit

Viv ow hto hi h f is byind He okda bit lik a cs betwen o arowa a Pter ito m h a a traight parr

KARL: can' get my ead ao it, makes se Yowold gt a gay a, woldn't yo?

VVAN ip, gay ma, straigt man. ip ca acetevrytig.

KARL: dt undrsta hw yo can gt a staight a iyu have still gt a kb

VVAN'S FR ND Gay not ke ay boy. S g utwih traigt man.

KARL: re yu gig ot wit a taight a t thmmn?



VVAN'S FR N D a.

KARL: A straig man?

VVAN'S FREND a!

KARL: ut h s

W ha o agre to dsagree Years ago it woldn' av bnpssble. ut now pp say I' a wman traped n a asbdy' and hy ca make it apen. Scnce eas soeone day wl wake p a de tey wat t be a gerbil a t bpssble.

Riky aske m once wa wold I be I u b ayhng ih wor and I cid wold b a sh At as [ idn't kei hy tnd t sleep a , so u just ra abo bengsmtig se.

As I not a fa o large rows yu wu nevr gt mgig on any srt f rest march To b hs dt

know why hr av be so many eole nvlv. ustone erson waig abut wih a paard os h sae jobwihut takig vr sreets and blokig tra A xapis hat ea xr rt wh has a sale tis waysig I yuv vr bn t Lon yu will have sn h.Pon prove Tere was als h rgios susr wh wasdw frm te Go sa a wo soed on a tay,Ar yu a siner r a winer Agai, on hs w bt h g

hs on acrssI yure og a grop ar atats shu ge

hr march sonsor ke a sonsr wak s ta we noone ses t hir ot at leas ast bn a ta wase



o tim 'cos teyll hav raised sm oney f a cahsital r soething

Viv a his ates thn tok m to te teatre wer thyprform teir igtly sow to aro 80 pp Ter was aning ordr o sgs on te wa incluig A Wat Am,Maria Cary's ro and adna's Paa t Pra' Itwast long befr tey ha sat i one o thir airs apyingmake-p Wile Viv pi on te undati I was still oking fray signs o ma�ness but coldn't se any Mayb if sent mr

tim wit er tr wold be rtai thigs sh cldn't elpBing practical or ista. n are mr pratial. uzane isalways askig fr a dg, bt sh osn't tik abut th thrprblms h co i i. i i rs i c yu wat t g away takig it or walks at all hurs . . aybelady bys sti v that bit f a-ss to te. at's weVivs rind wie hr dg ot. t wast a manly dg iter Itwas one f tem sall pg dgs yo can stik in abag

Thy ish transfing e I on't tik I be kidingayone. t di ak e wer what wold d tugh ifSuzan turned t to b a bk Aftr sixtn yars togethr yocat just nd it. cam to te si that ' ti let hr ivwith e but I wu gt hr to d mr aro te hus olongr wold I be th one aring all th havy bags frm thsprmarkt own. h cold als an te wiows



I aked or a ule f beats ro KF I en at tem aleft.

I ad h ateo t roa o I wnt to he Siriaj diaMum I wa not yur bg tandard uem I wa ll fwei hing and ikaed te Mum f eah , and t akit weie, it wa on te second lo o a hspita Thre wrepatic boxes cotaiing a, a liced ha upeed in a leapatic box lik novelty i cube. Blloks! ' yu ay. ahy had tem, as we. hre wa a 7-cm-diaete rotueuting m tat wih te aonia oqio We I wai te jgle i e last yar no to m to rb t ter

ere y lo, box aft box of birh gn rg, tinybdi in faldye ji twins, swolen skl andcypia a o whi wre a I tned a corr and hr wash boy o a alled Si uy Sae rg umifi. wash t seia kille in te mdr hitory f haand wo wasconvit xeted, mmiied a h ut ipay a a tyeo dtrnt to ayone wo ay have bee aig siila iea.He wa islayd in wat lok ke a th bx He wa

leaing against h glass lik a pised-u ak KtI' uit a g iea haing a msm i a hsita. t's

anoyig we o visit m bt arive al b viitighur wit notig to d. r if yo' waitig f yo girieto giv birt but yo on't ke h ida o sig it pp ot goa ok at alf a ea ita.

I' wird ow qicky yu ca gt sed t okig at tty

greoe tuf. We first oke at te had tat ad ben spiti tw was hiking, O tha's pretty btal' , bt aftr a wminut was wndrig wat tol hy sd t get su a eectcut uzan has a g at e s o h stat a te bea iaftr cutting eelf a s, so ' lik to ow hy ad cha eft cut I e hught abo ow ' qite ike h two bitso ha in my s to be sd a boknd Lets ace it ( pitnd it s wors han aing ms ases sat on yo

ilac, is itAfter sig baby wit tw had wondrd i hi i te

way we ar mat t evlv Mayb hy'v gt i right, and itu -haed pep wh have got it wong Peole aret as



sciabl as hy we I yu av two has yue nevralone. or stres in ur liv, two ead ae bett ta one. 1 fes i sprmarkt. Crssing bsy ras a bing ab tlok bot ways It all makes see. W alway intfre withat I tik if tni lays contie t wear heaband teywill e p killig of yebow, as hy'r hre to catch swat.o eaband ed

I t ut hi wat h last bizare xhibition I was gig tos. e ot w wer stayig at was qit go. t ha godfod, wifi, bai, a wimig po a a k garen.Evytig yo . Wa? What a knob gad t's a gae

of knobs Ty dt ca i t b Ga ere ,hy ca it te Chao ae Tpti shrine. t' a eiity sine.The ut av bn 20 or so woe pniss ll ove tepa All irt iz, fm te ize f a ca ogt to tesiz o a ano. dt mind te t hy'r t amingayone bt wy av so ay? t was lik a wahue knobs It wu ok clasi it tey jst had ig main Iwold giv it m f a Ye e Pwel nob imsion.

Maybe it tarted f wih jst one kb ten whev i i charggt carried away Me am di h sae wit gnoes. Ppcot ayhing, dt hy? ve etod wy pole cothibe but ' ate ave h a se han a tw-ot knob.A h wei ting was, f a frtity shrine yo hink teblloks wold be te bit hat was imptant but ter wast apair o blloks sight

W wet ut for oe ta Bagkk i buy at ight I I wan'tloking at h wm t wk ot if tey we wm not, Ilok at te bilboad Thy av s ay o hm temtorway ater ahr. e biggest ve ve sn. hirtymtrs acs Lptp, ca ameras a TV. ts lik drivighrugh a Ags catage.

As I ai eaer m uit hapy ating hai fd It icya taty, bt h amunt o ises hy big ut gets a bit sily.

Yo jut elp yur frm each pat I idn't kw wat waseatig st o t tim I tik at pit migt ave eatn afag e ut f a atay. e oble is, yu lo track f owmch yo've atn. We ad a age ro h ual Tai fo



hi veing tog. We wnt t a lace a e yigickn. t' a lac not eay known te way te fo tatesbt hw it elivred to yo table I an get a bt anoye attim we ut avig a it-own ine i hre's to u afI've bee to ay laces i Lond whre yu p yur ordr ihn hy bing i a spnd v ites expainig whre thcarots wer gron a wat te chikn lik t d in its satim I' t jking I wnt to a ancy pa f a stak and teyto m h ow y stak ae ro lik teig to rokmsi Going on h prie o it hink I wa vg th cot f aft ow sat o h last gig it wnt to

At Te lying ickn te way it wks is like tis Yo echike A bell ing h hike i ready. chike ihn paced t a lvr Te bell in aai Fo nowecoes a a a icycle warig a elmt wit a ik hft Te by at h levr cataut te chikn trog h aihn h man te iycle ates it te pike and bing itto yo table Imagi Bain s ot andveing yo FC

O all h cike a bn elivred, ding a qiet sp,h bloke te iycle hw hi ki f by atig smarobjects lik garuit ang, pus and a sohig tesiz o a gae. H let m have a go Fo pe chike atrgras streaming dw y fa, I aage to cath one on eha. h yig Chike wer h od is eaab, t jutedible. dit say or pdig.



If vtg a lace a key Tow ad ben f te 0thng te uket t, I wu have ck t I v amkey, m So whn aw that ter wa a lace a keyTown w wer ang by anyway t wu av bn ad not ttp o and

I wa xpctg to jt ee te od one at a tr. coldn'thave bee mre wrong Thre wre hr o t boy tg.Evrywer yu oked thre wa a onky Sm bg oeall m eathy m not ealthy oe wngg telepone ne, oe at on and hgh p o ba Agang o th wer at on a ar. Wh kw, t ht have beethr car It wa ke oe d carton tw I o't kw werthy hav al coe ro but teyv mae th lc ter tw

Thre wre ety or mkey ta pp W wet nto atemle were at th gate a man ay have bee a mkey ahman otft) dt l leat te try o th temle eld bag o t a rut I bogt a bag o t wa abot to



etr h temle gates whn a onky b y htgrabbed te bag a an f I bogt three or bags. keysci m, so i tem in y oket.

I at own. a abo ur or ve onkys al over m Thypiked at my ead like tey we okig ti O worke othat no hair mat it wa jst easie t ick my had or aypasig tics. swly plled ut ahr bag f nut. A mkeyjup fro bi e gabb h and ft. hi wa gettigsy w I wat dig te keys, I was jt bing mgged

I ad a packt f Monst in my hr pckt, so hught wold ue tem t ta te bbig sos a eson. ey

we icy avur. aybe hi w tp tem ikig fo ofote eole in h ft I was abut t pn h paket t haa key one is we te wo paket wa gabb. ey as Uik. tur to s h mkey ibing te id o htemle lik wh ing g ib h Ei State BuildingSo, is tis why ature gave tem h poable thmb i it Shy cu oe bags o cip Yo might b tikig Ka, stpmaing Thye obaby jst hg a hi is tei way f

sviving h eay? Well wat ar h eaons f anotemkey t nick e at and ater to av m gases awayThyre rbbig bastard. Sip as hat

Th gid to m tat te ldt onky hre wa vr ftySo ask t g and it It was etig wh drinking one f Y b I ' v v hre king it, it lok o hman h way it sat, h way it

lok arund Itjst hir ar tat i -uake. h aa imar ae t cip Horb big blbu arses Watwet on hre? m glad we voved t get a bette ase. Ges tosow evn nature a hat hat arse dig was t go. See ae Th on tat iked my Mte unch migt aveed u wih a vn dr ar



I wu be g ee oe rag-uan b hik 'dejy ing oe wakig hrog Lon mr n havigo go all h way o or i.

Soeone will robably mlai a ay hu evn be

rying o giv a mkey a r Munc. wach aprgrame onc wen a bonobo wa makig il a Pod, a oe eole mlai abo i a P od are vry go fr yo. u ha wa i wa aig h igh eyilm i Th ig befr, i wa probaby kcking p roachike wih new oae a aaragu.

[ a icky.

KARL: we o onky Tw, hugh wu lve i.Tey wre oig e ead i

ICKY: Wh?

KARL: Par o i hink, i loking orward o mig a

lo, b I go here j buyig oe nu uid o a blokemkey cam nick hm raigh away, aackd eraced e eg grabb a acke o Mer Much o om bak oke ra f u i h mp.



ICKY: (laughs) Tis sund ke a wid st f aimatior a a. e act that yu ae mewe wt terMunc i yur bak oket and a mkey i niking ha rnig ito a temle it ke oehing o o hBeano

KARL: hy' on h o a on te balconies Teproblem i, yu k ow yo ay yu old't givmkey jb? hink, ht t gd, hyve got t teyvgt to give hm oehing to o Tey sed t av h i

fim Thy ad h i tea bag avts. N y've gothing t o

ICKY: N al wv bn tog tis Rmebr yusa hat hing YoTube a little s sty hre teea onky dres a a aite in a ba Thats a tunt. han't rally got ajob e asn't beatn pole o hat jbIt a tick kay? Toe ims i te PG ip avr? at

as fake t amras It wa jst a tunt. y ditay hav t jb

KARL: ut yure traditing yoelf Bcaue onehand yu go, ey dt lik orkig in bars' and on hote a yo tel e hyre 9% ua W, if teye9% hman ta' te bit hat tey lik wkig ro. eote % is tey a a chip

ICKY: hi i so ix p Thi i aazing

KARL: u away saying opsable tub and a hat,a w coe fro mkey and ba blah, ba. Well 'ju aying everytig is evlving, evrytig a te tie.Yo've to e hat, havn' yo? veyhing i agig.

ICKY: kay kay right W dit coe ro keys,e ae ro a utal ancesty, so w a siilagneticay We' 9% gneticaly idntical to achipanze kay tat ot ma tat ecntag is



dicate to likig wking i ba Ohrwi yu u ayhat chip a clo t Astralia becas Ataans likorking in bas. at on't ea tey lik t. Wat am Isaying ims dt lik orkig in bars It exloitation.I yu t h to d hat hy ant it wt t on teunif a stat oig a pint o ale. hy tat tey aiuiitiv, bt thy av gt a tese hing tat . . odt give tem a P45 to ill ot.

KARL: ut, e igt as be becas I was in tegivig h nut. hy dt eve ave to g a get hm.

If we're gig t iterere, let tp all he fee nt tahy'r gtting Yo an't one hand say, hr yu ghave oe nu but d yu have t d anyti f ta? Nbaue ta's crel. ihr hy get fre ts o yu chckh ut in h ild Bt thy wre ating like ey ehman. hy'v takn vr a tp Peole an't se it a ach anyr hre ar s ay keys

ICKY: t's faut base inteee wit h spi.B te hing s tog e cip tart orking te wib unemloyed ep going, Why has hat im got yjob? m mpyd!'

KARL: Work are ten. uve got coptiton whichn ak bttr at wat o Wo ol wat t belaced by a im?

ICKY: (laughs)

I ad a bat bck at h htel. y gs e coe i mkeysratchs We I aw te ve We f te Wor at yea ha to have injetions bor I trav o i vred ei as I wa bitte by a ity mkey I nevr thught it oldcoe in handy. lay i te bah feeg a bit isapit ateviitig Mkey Town. hught I' ay njoy it. st gos tosow hat yo n't really k wat yo' ga lik I tik



ejy essing u as a wman wit iv me ta visitig hmkey. it f a or, ini?

ext day I wk u t a esage y pone fro StepeHe aid I' vitig nak iage Wat is it it hi untylettig aials tk ove lac? ask h direcor if tey adangros He ai hy are king coa and tey' vrydangros Ta we notic a amuance wa tagging alongih s f aty. t' ad t think hi wo tri was eant to me wiig wit dlpi in Autralia ut e I a iThaia pis-arsing aot wit king coa.

We e arri as give sm prtects t pt und y

as, o ty coudn't bit . ast ti wor sohin lhi thy wre g are I wa a tre in h 1 90s I tikamemae te oua. dit y ay a tey e toexeive ut e ad ae m sm frm a l sit f is. jut t h s ff a hn rlled h dn m leg. ah y kid in anchstr h ad leg wars wih us

The wre three aaedi Don't k y t I avprferred jst h one. f gt it hy'd all dising wo asgna uk te no ut instead f jst gtting n ih it I asto I wu e fine ecau te edi a antivno. Whknow? t might not ork. ufer fm a it f ezema, and techist ks ggig m E45 ream or it. t dst ork I oehing strongr Whn I ave hadaes I ne to haveuron xta 's a paracetaml ot ork It coevrytig is costaty evlving as e ak it strongr y

gtig it. t' k ata. a ago acteria s a ut e av findy actea tat w ave i ygurt drink I' keit gt ick o gtig and ecae friely, hen in a e yasit ill coe s indy e ave grop eole aying,Dt eat friely yoght, its cl '

W gt to te villag Te was a sma gahrg o aottety pole. e as also a tye o est. t was a al.For a sake. hey wshi h snak a tey ing turis t h

aa Tis was t fral Iv vr n t. v alayavid going t frals I avid wding, as ll ut I avn t g t a ule f tem I on't realy ke gettogehrs My da ay wu prefr fral t wding as it



desn't tak al ay and yo on't av to take a gift, bt yu stgt ed ell.

Th da ak as in a gas bx, a a live as siteingabut to o h bx jst a et aay m s ut havbn rlated) I ve o ot hy by remat or stf 'to ak a agt exdr a a man a Buae cam a aidh. as a sake ae I hok is hand t elt od Ilok dn a noti it wa akig ngrs. as gna akhi h ay tm e' bee bitte, b m gusig e' notgo at ading u ih many fingr issing e nd ptellig m ayy

e ben biten 2 tis,' ai. dt hink ' u ou tb a sake ae. 1 tim! 's cleary not rig nog.Th sake cams Ive n i catons maly lay a te toh nak, bt po alee' ak f igit ud man eoldn't xactly b ab t kck ut a go t on a rcorer

He tok m t is hm whr hre wre bxs ned uotsie but hy ern't or ycig ke al te bxs e'rgive m te uncil. ey e for is nak Sx ve big

bx. t wa k al or o awit Nel ms H tedh te rt bx It wan't ve loked ut He got a snakot. t mst hav be abut ve eet g. all h pp tosow m a kr sake is tey u av gt m smih ge to grip o o th sake tigtly I wut tst hifea t od a vs on nqus oadsho a yet hre h isafting a king bra in my ae.

He te got ot a evn bigge kig coba It ut av bneigt ft longTh akle ctor a warig er a ttle bit pits a

once te sake is pright it cold asy av e by me neck. tslik wen pp ea blto vt. hy o't ott yufm a bllet in h ha o tey? Bua at to sow mh h king oba at A yung lad wh sem qite petcam along wit a snak i a ja I aaged to wk ut tat it

as hi a' et sake and tey at t f it t h cobabase thy idn't av ay rat I ai I idn't at te ki tloe is pt, jut o I u see ow a coba ats o te et akegt to live anot day.



He te t the kig bra lose. ts amazing qickly andqietly tey m I idn't ove. ualee as on lo on thgrund sifting m to gt gettig u se a temving Uikly hn it got to close. t just sed like apitss isk to e ike aving a chk f radi as anornaet I on't tik thre's nog f eole t d rothse ats and tat's e yu get eole oing sily things ikthis. hy ed a loa yut club it tab tenis or smtig.Ev atchng as daly sint. hats n I ear a fatis I togt t as alee. t ast. t as t snak I idn'tkno tey di tat I ha to tell Riky abut it



ICKY: Are e sakes hapy? hy' srss aehy? ey' kig em in orrib age and pkingh?

KARL: d undrsa hy yo' orrying abu emTey u kill m ihi fin ies

ICKY: ' wored ha ee anima are big anoyed oreased exloi i ay ay.

KARL: d hink ey e ha re. ey oxed if anyig and e yo y, he as sor odancig abo . . i far.

ICKY: (laughs) Iv neve ve xeienced a sakefaring

KARL: has xay ha I ai. man as b aay

by i. had no ida ey evn ad a ase.

ICKY: (laughs) Wai a i urs is g an ae If iea ras, smig' goa oe o.

KARL: u I i o hugh i migh gag i u oehingI idn' k

ICKY: ld on. nak are hin baue eyeblimi Thyre hin g hrugh h undrgh Wad yo man gag i u' Ho a minu, y e ias h ela wo a and wn o a' esnake'

KARL: Well a' e hing He an ld ella s onlyg abo fu eeh, b has s more a e ao o

fingr e ad Lie, Iv wah al e Anbogprogae and ae uf wer hy vr sakes, andyu s h aing ipo and aacking f, b I haveve hard a snak far. a' wa' god abo is



progame tog init rading y i tachingm w tf

ICKY: a

KARL: Attnugh as vr sow tat a ak fat. hink w'v ht smtig ee O uue tat clipih te aa atig got aot 4 illion vi in a week,s .

ICKY: ne, it as a aa zig not atig a thre' a reasn hy Attnugh on't hw a snakfarting on hi ow. ma, I on't k if tatitrest in ne

KARL: ah, t I idn't k. hught te at wa ahman ting Its smtig to d ih ae ek hatver T ake i mot.

ICKY: (laughs) What are yo talking aut, yu togth fat as a hma tig? What os tat ea So,smtig really iptant i o votion a o ase're uight, e've gt angag, eve got ra-faingey, e've gt ttal dxterity wv ivet h hl,e've got igination wv gt a kledge f teftur . . tig misig and m fart, a hyg ta' lliat Wat are yu talking ao yo togt

farting as a ua tig?

KARL: lhik i jsl srpris 'o I ws rey sred Ias ori aut it a te e it ad one tat i' hathing f eing ared f yo s iagine tem aked ast sae o h snak. nce it ate it wa, like, hyam I wri ao hi

ICKY: al ow many ties have yo imagid yo oaked hn? ecas yur s i prt Murdch So, hmany tie hav yo iagined prt Mdc aked



KARL: N aven'. 'ju aying i' a w kwn hinghat pp ay.

ICKY kay kay. Ar yu imagiig it now

KARL: Well yea yuv p i i hre.

ICKY: Wha de h lok ke?

KARL: ike ortie wihut a h

ICKY: (laughs)

I wa tie to leav Thaila. At a ig o ydney anoteon o Adaie ad ten a ma pane o Port Lil, I vnuayarived a a ab or h main evt. x t' wh fo ut wut b ing ay dlpi. iky a eageayig ta hy ad chang te pan a litt bit I wu b

wiming wit hak intad I on't tik h Make-a-WihFoaion ev aged pan a h la minut or h ik kidlik ti.

Th ba wold be pig my im on wa a nc2 I idn't wan ak wa ape t nce 1

I e Roy ox and hi on Aw wh w gig to akm ut o ak Rdney know veyhing yo need oknow abut hak He wa a r we yoge a wa

aack by a hark in h '. ore oen hi id, broke alf iib, pt a g and xped te ai aey t hi eat Idt know what e' laying a wating o be anywe ar aak at ta but ge hy d ay Whaevr det kyu ak yu tge . nle it pli.



Th pan wa t low e to te watr a cage. t tur otthat dney a th wh ae p wt th orgal da oug a ag t get c to ak, wh ad t dcut or mto ag of te eg whn aw t. e wa thg t t Thymght a w lowr m t th oan n a hpg trlleyLukly h a wa gg t a bgger cag I t wan't tathapy. ft ke Gldck. ayb I ay I tll t apy

thy wud hve te pft thr pton. t h dt T wath ag I w b gttng n. hre wer bg gap btwee teb Rdney ad te hark gt b ab to get te ead nth ga, bt thy wut b ab to pn te oth Ioldn't wry Rdney tok t p h to o m a poto h hk bte It oked ke ajam tt bgt r t a raggdedge.

Rdney to m t to worry, a th chance o tt hapgwe . e te a f havg Mte unch ckedo yo by a onky wre lm, bt t hape to m

It wan't g bore I tarted t l eak. Wat mae twor wa, a wman wo workd on th bat t t that I



old e taying on h at t nigts, h hught e'd ak first tig in h ming I as son y rom I a ai eugh rom it unk ed a a ittle tilt ut it stank oish I ay te ed er h sund o h hgging egi ptm t lee.

I k u i nigt e te oat tok a it f a a kckfm a ave. W ut hav een ahed u a te as chggig engine. e y so a ming o te seasshing aot tid I elt sick My stmah uring Iet a sat on e tot I remr eig sik into te ik assaate as aing on my ack fm te pn orto I as

pretty fd up agh apanly soudn't av be Thiexeince i te t o ting t o ef yo ie. caak into ed Wat anying is, I uttig self tog tisa migt not ven see a ak. smties fin it ar t findSuzan i es i sh aes of, s at a th hances osig a hark in tis vat cea

A f hurs at cold har mvet on h at. rindychattr tee oat c a fi c I as i no mo f

findy at. e ell o fih sme ors. Atr ying hrefor an hur I hght t get p, as fng y f yast dig mch go. sto p and fet really ik agai Iet a sa eveyone. oy a u f eans I idn't antto ungratefl o I at and ha oe toast a sca egg.Rdney to m hat e ked h ilm as. He tld e ohy u a a to pay h part o Richard reyus i sm o

h a s h ea ak lok igge ta it as.I nt ut t h dk t gt sm frs air I as fzing,a th sea a uit opy. hre a no h ai as Aeas alay ot hre ukig i ig pis o tua h size ohue iks to ttract th sharks.

I a tld t get a a sit hat itted m Feeig sick,oking id to sie ith h sell o i te air h ting toclim it oehing as tight as yur on kin ist easy I've

ve ked tigt clotes. v ve etod ski-tigt jea,a thi utit s eve tightr t h pit tat coldn't reallystand u staigt. rk tis is h it u have elt if ohs king ras ha aed e.



I at te g o h bat a th cage a loe d itoh a I ten h t ear a blt o havy eigt to ke mundr. Andr contied to t ot ait. e it, Lukegt i h ag t ih a sma amra to lm e I bd Th sea a asig te cage aot. clug f y e.I wa tang to ut my had e wate wile beatingmaly. t a ilt to know wer to ga a okighrugh h gla mak mae tigs s near han teyactuay wre. e y fih I u ee wre op-p tachks atig but

Th prssu my bdy d y siss s wors.

coldn't eliev I travee to te hr sid f e fh. gt ut

Luke got ut to hi amera's prottive aig adn'tork a te aea was knacke. t st ging el.I tod i te her a let warm wat into y et suit. radh esag r pp ha cib on te a f teiexeinces.



-

I a a bt u by elle' eage ab avng amaj hbby h hle . og e u y havemaj hbbe . aybe Melle a a oa m haandO hg o og av a maj ubby. h

o a eang old av o tI wa boght ho mug ofg oup whl t ot owr

aed e p T a h ape I ha b e bng onh boa. A t ju poved I ke h p hg n lfe Bnga h a up-a-u. n't ta th bt ay t b?

Th deo ad e aned m t gv t ah g tooa h eah a gog t b alm and hy ad anote

ama t f h I ad ah bl f op h an alyght, th me old go qk. ued o o hat a a k atma, the bg ay u m one I d t ak



mys sick wit xcitemnt at Cstma ut hr I was feeigsik or a difrt reason.

, ever L,ked jh Clothes.

cn his i w L lJ e e of o

c � �J



Fedie te a wk m u i te oring t ay wewe going f it a ond tie. nce wa awake e gt utprtty Uikly I o it a it d. ve akfa rdi aid edit know o I u leep i tat rom wit th ell. thught veryone' rom ad tk ik that T ut it wajut ine o we I' e eelig il. ak Andrew aotit. ai Oh, th ig w pt th ait in i aove yo roa it ak i tugh yur phle. Typica

I got ready agai a gt in th cag I wa dtrmined t getthi one a te wa way I wanted to e ored into athright ut at ea. t wat a chpy Te cage wt cking a

mch I got y i a corr and wait. dney oke to m inmy ear via takak and alm m dw, thn ar m agrat whit ar wa gettig co Te te it wa. Nt aund It itd at lik a got It wa aive. ik a threepi ite wit teeth It ye lok ead Sort a oredexion a i anig icit in a prmarkt ai, lokingfor Cutar C Roy aid a lage ma a loe y Hewat kidig.

Th fale wa uge. t wa an od feeig eig o loe tmtig tat cold p m apart Te at tim I ad thi lingwa whn wa onj dty and wa tod aci a ati thatwa jut a metr away

For m eaon eme reading mwe that i harkattack thy d lik ing unced th no Wird hw thrai remr cetain thing I av ote ill hw to

tack ay anim ike hw t gt a ea in a elok or okk n ott.I wa own te or 45 inut a althugh I nevr ft

copty raxe now tat m aely ak on la caay tat it wa a aazig xprie W evn aaged to dlpi te way ack t ao.



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Hav yu vr bn givn an item f clotig hat ha tsedyu ut I a givn a big coat to a or my ti to Alaska tatmae e ory. e as a ael iie he as to ite yae an egy tat mb and . . y blod typ Imall f ritig my am and pone nubr, cms in ul Ileav my coat smhre ut y bo tye?! I idn't vekno y bo ye. cut bve d en sk a utiI ut ar by a oat I a p te ot a mae anapointmnt to gt a bo tet. Whn gt to h linic te otaske hy e a lod tt Becau y cot s tokno, sai.

I ad to ack me for hi experie han any of he ottip I ad big bot tick sck, gv arf ats xta ticktose and ea acks I ndd p eaing te asive coat toh aipt a it as to big t pak in my a i veyhingels. t as lik a contintal Ut it a od It ad elevnpckt I ad e f a f tee y utting hoat bar ineach o h.

Our ight o on ariv at at Aorag s stayed

at a ot for h ight ice lace ut hr e stfd animaevrye yu oked izzy ea ear, bak eapla ea and moe. oy ig tigs tey e. 've vrundrsto th pit f stf anima. ea ag sups hias h only ae pol ha t see ot anis a thy idn'thave zo V to atch nate gram, b yure lanig on sing a mo ea a a h he

eay dt see th pit in takig u rom in yr hu ih ada anima Ye ago, I ad a ate ca Ryan h ad one ohs g hat st ha h aial' ead attach. t as a eae aid hi ad ad on it in a ard gae. tik o all tetob oa aarety ent to avig a te iret eciesa yet hre a o h trget anima on te lat itRyas ma hvering its ak ih a Dys I nt ro to ishue agai to hat hy had t f te ead s hi ad gt

sik f triping ve it a almst faing into te al re. ida aid it as proaby less dangros hn it a ave.

Th xt orig t f to mt a loa man ca Marty.Th pan a o hi to o e o batifl aea as,



h als teaig m h to sviv i tese l itionsW gt to te eetig lace arly o as aund All hisnow a not snowa i ight. u aleay f ahaace cmi , t fro h co bt ro t hit f tesnow My eyes n't god at dang it ights If eavedes exit and I ak it u hre hp its t a gt a eolealay ait it I it is hp hre's a o' p te hre Ica gt a ai I ut it d as a sid-efft o growing p iMahte a havig a da h idn't ke aig eetriityon blb As son a a light as tur on e ud b hr to ith f sitch I wa ke e a laying tat 9 cmuter

gae on bre it ad en ivet. W idn't ven havebright hit wall whn I was a ki it as alays agnoa, somy eys ae in n way traine f tis I tok tw uroe t tya ae te ai My haace certainly asn't aue by anyis It was strge ow uit it as. t as as if te eep snowsakd p evry und Mi yo wy wu tee e anysund I e an't ee ilming, I wut b ot i heconditi ite I' b stayig in atig a obo ox set

drinking tea and aking m way tugh a pak f isuits.Maye ta' wy txidy i big e; apart fm ir EmHilla, o w wana tak a dg a ak i tis eate. A aited for Mart ha o my chclate bas frm one f yelevn okets. t as a wix. 'd baicay tur hi at intoa Advet alea

Maty tur p He wa a big man warig a by hat

Imagi Burt Ryld in a eece. e a draggig tw sled llo gar. ast s if w e going for a trek ito hmuntai as jut aot to h i ove hu Ive nbag aies cary s han wat arty was luggig wit hi. ha xes, shvs kis, p and a g



KARL: Whr w ging Honestly, d we really ne allhi? hink we' caryig a lt f xta tff

MART: No, we ed tat.

KARL: Why?

MART: Wt if mtig hap to m Wat if gthit y a avaanch A yu ready tis? I am not jkingTi i a vry rios uines I not kidig yu My W Tesay Fo ays ag. ey tigger an avaae, allhree o tem get wahd own gy ak a g and teote guy i ri. Nt kidig not jking Didn't nd hidy. Nghtall cam. unday orig elicoe rescu,fitn eet low te urfa o h now

KARL: ad

MART: hy und hi ea m not kidig woldn't av rogt ay f tis eqipet hre if dit hink it was ary yo saety

KARL: i y ate know what h was di? Was h aproe r?

MART: es, hy wre a vey exerinc. ne f tem,I kw a fat, climed Mot McKiy ee S teywe totay eeince tyig to ejy te ak cotry,lik yu and I are gig t d. Were going t on te vrysam otain tey we.

KARL: Why are we going t tat one Wy ae w tdig anote

M: (laugs)



I tld a I not really no dangros fun. ov avng a stro ut f avng a so nvlvs ayg gns asovels Id rahr stay n. sad w we gong o av anawesoe m . Awsm sed to e o hs avot

words. use a ask h f s s aweso' wy wash caryg a gun. o m h rught f y saey We' ear cotry, h sa. ask m wer my weon was asall I a o stp a a attakg m was e ars o chcoat Hhand e soe ppe spray A o pp wh v teseparts dt lk ayg gs ut prott fm ears, shy carry a spray. e sad t cold say ppr p t 3 ee.I remr hnkng ta ta was a gat lam. A 3-e

say s hg I ay as well tow fro a ep ot I wuhave ee hapy o cary a g I was aryg so u stufalay okd ke a onestan raceak so what arwold m t o, h sa wasn' s t shotng ag te as a wold mss my arge and e u ng oneo h lm ew, s wold e es jus sng te per say asa o dfee. e ea f te spray s ta eas av aamazng snse f sm a hy on' ke h pper. ok teld f, and y k elg e o ael. h wasMaty was a o ea as h was a extale eson and sokek o hse vcevrs yo ge on kds nate gramswh say gs lk Woow' a ook utttdudd s I nev kw e was kdng or . t was lkone ong ga f a ywh ay I sayd t Martystarted sreamng wh suzng hs yes I og e was

mssg aut Rchard te ect tld e t p cap ak h say as f e was sm st f ostage ga I teced Frede te so man's yes wer streamg, a a gsto w set sm o h say t eveoy else' eyes It



ast long bef w e all stod te ying, lik e'jutbn iat of X a y ye ay not b god at daligih te big but hy hald te epe pay qite wI ut tis d t te act hat I gew p ih y ma uigloas o Silviki hairay. I ha to g i te bhrom aese ad bn i hre spraying e ea I ha to lan to ke myey pn. f co thm te aot f aqe in h ai wustik tem ut Maty to e I need t keep ay i aloati u gt to Uikly if a bear apear s I move a itKat ha i my ight-a ont oket and ut it hre th TwixI' atn arli ad bn. Anote ti that Marty gav m, if

as to get ase by a oar bar wa t t h unng, ah bear old tp t if a gaet If I ad t o tis with amunt o layrs I wa waig ter old e ore coteon h o han at Priak e a sal's on. An h hcoatold bably to.

Maty ak I ad ay back bs or halt isu. tohi Ijst takn soe Noe to to a haac. edconcened a a wi abot m dig a trek I wasn't uyit. Agai, I as't ih as bing srios r h asbing worried aut y aety ae avig a ule f tablets fora eadae, a yt a w minut ago h givn m soppr to prte ye fm a boy big bar. to hi old be , a tartd ur tk. t ast lng bef wee wading in ve et o s. Nve mi ee ay altsay wu'v n or handy t mt oselv a pat.

hught tese sot f onditions er mant t hve ied ot ihh woly amot. as knacked I dit kow ow dh now need t get beore arty wo tik abut uig tesovels e wre bot draggig h u. kt ying hbatifl evrytig lokd, bt evrye loks ie hcove i hi u s. ts a god lac t y-ti 's aftr afew o in hs conditions anything yu ti w be vred

I aked aty if e ad ay ater as I a tity He idn't

bt h sai te tat surroed me a te at inh or it wold b sae to eat tat.

As e aked e talkd



KARL: ave o waked ao ngand

MART: 've vr bn te Do o k th Batles

KARL: h ats? ost o tem are ead

MART: h, dt talk ke that.

KARL: h hugh W, 50%

MART: W's hat pa called, Te av, Lveol

KARL: h Caven? Its t a ave o k. ts tsmhre to clim. ts a ba.

MART: s it stil hre?

KARL: ah

MART: o'v bn te

KARL: N

MART: o'v ve en hre?!

KARL: N its in iverol.

MART: W, h far aa's hat

KARL: t's abut 40 ms

MART: t ms and u neve wnt the

KARL: Well ' frm Maeste Th to cities dt gton

MART: Wt des tw ities on't get on' ean?

KARL: Well o k ki o ota riva



MART: o i! tp Wah, hn yo gn ut yurgv

KARL: y s f aligt at te oet

MART: Ae yo sur? Ke an ey on it. nw ayhingaut hypheria stite?

KARL: yeah Yur ige all of.

MART h w, ' s ot stbit. 'climed Mot cKiy titee tim o-ekexediti t h tallest muntai in Nth Amrica. uknow o Mot McKiy?

KARL: N.

MART: o ve hard f ot cKiy?

KARL:N. 'm t a otain man.

MART: o ve et t iveol and yve nevrhard o Mot McKiy? Due w t gt yu utm

KRL t'sst no big dl or m. Hv you r ofSd

MART: No

KARL: igt and yue a motain a o h'emaras?



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Th sun as tatig t g on and a te temeatW gt to te tp o h all muntai hr e wu ed tski own to gt te pae e wu e staying at for te ightI've nevr ski bfore. y ol di a e kiig trip ut teye realy exeive hing t g u to te aot o kit yoha to hir lu y ad sai sold lean to sell bfore leanto ki o 1 s stay at sho and sit in a las wit a e hrkis a dra skiing wa a w exeince m O 1on't e oing gai 1 as ueles 1 ca ertand wy kis dit ut not uy grown e Peole lok at m strge i 1 tartting stt a BMX ut on't ee te iffr 1 oldn't

et t a i a my a or time t oranWidm, so en u ittig on te sledge d n draggigaund or h last iv hur a mae y way wn tat ayTh temeat ut av bn aro minu t 1 wasloking orad to a ht bat. W got to te ut old bstayig in. e ah asn't going to apen as h h asbaicay a h wit a ed i it It wa zing Tee wa a littleom

1togt wa th bato. er as ing in it aart

fm a tiy ik ih tap Maty to e it wa a om forprivay f aig in ut w e i te id o hre. Atot wa nee ore ta ivacy But e aid ies oldbst i he tpratures s tee wa no pmig.

He tl e if yu needd t go t h tot yo ad t o itotsie. hn hed m a pie o ice e ad sap ke oneo hs bly ice ks a tld e tis old e s a tilet

pae Makes see. ar arty ad m eatg ice atesayig it wa te at in h or and ee e watellig m hat otaineer wie tei ars ih t 1 ertandhat yo av to se hat at givs yo and hy have now,lot f it, 1 eta thm aking iglos ot f t, ss upi,evn av a g at aking a rapuino, b not iig yo arsih it o onr kis dt make m ro hre hathat tey d wit it.

Maty at and ang a fw sgs on hi guitar. ny ow hdit have ro in hi ag for a e ottle o watr or a tileto, a yet e anaged t g is gita ag. re ar hlyri t is s Really Caribu u .



I really abu yu,I' a on we yo're a wale,I' a f e t ba ecas I v yu dI really abu yuYo'r salon pcial to m,Yo give rpis to y lieI ohin inking f yu, I wlf orget lov yoYo'r salon pcial to m

He ad a fw god sgs and a i eugh voi ut coldn't really joy it kig tat if ed t g ding te

iht woud be wii y ars wih what was baicaly a Chcice. o tik h was i aot my has gttg otit.Maty gav e coy f his trm rom e mmt.Soehing e aaged to a. ent to e. Nay sp in jut y undi a dt lik pyjama I on't ke eigto ht b tis oai ent flly h aat o ybot. I till idn't leep as it a to ld I ut av seta god o aking soke ring wit y at lik soker o

i te ld ai. At aund 4 a. gt p Yo might e tikigh reason a t gt a drik or av a ee tats ally teeaon yo gt u i h idle f te night, ist i? bt it aite f to igs. t as to ut my hat on 's m ha was ld We I wa a ki I tayed i a caava hat was as co ashi. ee u akig u wit my yes frzen st. y mama ad rept abut te rom tikig I was havig a -in we

I wan't jut ut oen my eyes s idn't k hy wrehre. as orie hy wu freeze tgte again hre. hsed dit evn av curtai. t ha lis Bnd are a veyell f a at an f f giving me ivacy, bt thyreueles hn yo d t keep te eat in a lace hre' tatsayig ao g amn eig al to s snw t skimsThy ol age te wd ' t lis' a te aaplies Te ut neeed a littl b eate f t ut al

hre a wa a vau cleane Maye te ida s to d sohuek to warm p, b as ori h i frm h vacold wak vyone p xt dor , or, cas aavaance.



ti a fw yers ag I onestly togt we ee takedabut th northr ights tey we takig abot Bakolilluiatis. Whn hard pp rav on abot w it wassc a ust-se ystica sigt and hw thy got gse

bums rm it tll tm I' s h fw ims ndthat I tok Suzan to s th on ur ist ate ad sewast that iress and o th said, h sh is sluky'

know, a bught er ish, chis a as aftr'I sai.

I vetally d a ee so id it i te itt sink tat idn't avay tas Lts ae it, a sik wh taps is a urina Wat oteuse os a sink with no taps av I ad a gae f Ptince wit ast o cas I ad takn wit m a thn tawed ot a as barby bbig it betwee my hands After that lokd tugh a fewmagazis un on a shl oig to fi a wor searh csswd I u av a g at ortaty te agazines

we all abut gs so t th st f pbiatis to have fun tabrak uzzles . y wer just ll f icturs o htrs sat brs thy had st. ik all magazines thr we advets evry thr ag, bt t cotabe timbs comorativ lates. stead, thy wre a or gs witsgans lik For we yo need smtig bigg' It was at thispit fund a wi scibb te advet It sai Cathy (cossed ot , ard, Flwrs, ift in' sing skills Ive

piked u frm watching olmbo edced a cul ha mto stay i this sh a weeke away. kon th man adboked it a laned a shoting weknd, whi obablydit pas te wman (Caty), a tey ha a aguet It



loks ik th k te thught aot oing e i y yig anMK (typ o g) ut te h mst ave thught aut trying tsave te rlationsip last tim y ying er a car owrs,git a a in I igt mis away wit my si, twhatve it is, yu have t adit that it is a wird ist.

After a sleess nigt mae a all to iky w to m tomake y way vr to a pae cae Baw. t's on f tethost itis in th world, a I was to get a tast o hwEskios iv. Part o my joney twars Baw was vred ying agg y uskis

Riky aske m to ak s th ogs wer hapy. s always

wored aut aials, whi ist a ad tig ut hn h gesto far with his cat I oan aot it a t ut its 'cs it eaydes swa aot ike it ws te joint. vn wh it sratchs imh desn't sa th litt shit. t gts away wit urer a desthing or its k. ks shwig m pots on his ha asking me How ca yo not v that But can't andayone wo r mts it wi agre with m I wis thre wassm kind f et swa TV grame wich wol aw e to

give it t so faily wo ha a ig dg and iv ks f a week,as it ds a lody wake-p all. t wold e god or it. tsgo animas t wk t givs te a uros t e tepanet. gs av loas o jos fm adig li pp tosnifng ot ms a gs. er was one saw ty whiha aj o snifng ot ugs i ots Thinking aut it, wondr thre's ig unemloymnt. Pp always say it's

foreignes steaing te js. t's t its ogs. a rety hwevn ees a w hig ut in th worklace y etetingms Tey got jos in airps a orts ae sintists avetaught tem to stick thir tonges ot i thy gt a wi o ay



exloiv At th e f te day, I upse he are fwgardns i te iti ate tan plliating, be av fundote wk to d. ts only a mattr o tim bore h lg orbt hat a a over a huand ties its ow wight wstart u a emval bsines, and yet icky' at il st e atih it a p t ars.

I et h Huy . as cae B He wa achapi Huky rae. aing is te ai jb o ukies hedays, hugh bak in h day hy wre te only ay t traptgos i tese egions bore smb ae ag. ill a asfty-spkn a, hi at go a had a prbm eaing

hi du t hi gs maig a rig a. her' ohingabut ogs bakng hat o y ha i We had a ighoh had a Doea Pinschr hat ve ut p It jst sat i tegardn al ay barkig. Wy i it tat it nevr ee t ote teowne t' te am wit ar aars a abi B tld me 'dhave ix o hi ogs dragging m Wo a th main og icharg, a ate Wodrow te as Oliv Oy tpi nam fora og ut te I upse h yo av as many ogs as Bil

yure o to start nig ot f pti. h barkig gotlodr and ct har ay f te ter aes. t as a itpits ayay a te was no ay I wa going t rembrall o hm. t wa imar to bing at a ding we ppitrdce yo t cosi and ati Yo nevr eeme teiaes and wa' te oint i rembrig ame f eoleyure nevr likey t mt again anyway. ill hed m hre

to tand, h to s te sled own a h t u te hok wich i a tye f anch tat tos h dgs rnig fhn yo' t on th sld Aer hat Uik sn i dgmsig a dg ht at high seed y atWo to sw own ut dut it u ve ear m, as itas ight at h t whic as aot 40 ft aay frm hre Ias sto. hinking ack ill shu have tart e of sm salle dg. his is h eqivant f opng a lad h's

jut as hi ivig test i a Porse B u av startedm fiv pg g ight Cihahas Lts fac it, hre ars ay breed os frm . Whn as yungr it wasa ack Rss fr a all dg a Aatian f a big dg, bt



i' ke cf to many vaiati. ea hy rosd aLaad it a Pole t mak a Laaode, s yo can gt htemeaet f Laaor ih te tight ai f Pod Teysold cs a Lbrad it a uky li ole ore i au to gt me



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I wa yellig at te ogs to d, as h gro asgtting bupy ut tey e taking no tice. y jut ra aan. d ay teyre god ets f azy eole a yo on't av toalk te thy take yo f a drag B tld m tey eti hdg hy gt to a cetain age. ca jut iagine soeonepikig one p fm a dg' hme, havig iea f te dgshitory, chcking a ba for it and ten ver sig it agai Ited h ha comand tld e t u wit nojy, somv onto h sl own yo twat' oan, hi ha noefct eihr. ill to e h ha race uig ixt ogs s Gdknow ow ast et it tem Te dg id't ven stp to

po They just opted for he Pala acife si oin it hiening, hih sups is a go tig if yo'r i a Hukya, as yu oldn't want hm t kep tpig hneve teys a apot.

After abut a o and a alf y a and leg wre ayaching fm oig tight, bt Bi sai e was ipre ihmy skils. sai e had taught te at Steven Seagal toms te l angs nds and Stev had m of

loas o tim hat mae e f prtty god I ut it d th act tat it wa uit iila t iig a ueraket tlley Iot u mysl f in ri wile hlding on tigt anduig te eigt f y boy hn neg but hn I gusStevn Seagal dest d hi soping, so wt havehe ki

W le te rst f te way t Bar a tat i te only ay tgt t te pace. embe okig ut f te la iowhinking w ee ying abv lu t sa a big dark rackW e actuay abv rzn sea. hre a litay nothinguntil e ae r h aiort hre hre wa a op fhua oes all bh togeh in h higs W goto te pane I a reeing ldr han v ever be I wa arund minu I urt if yo tok in a dp beat a te

co air sms t b yur lung.W stayed at a iveity cam we tey sty te Ati

ecoyst aongt ter hing. t lok ima to te base hatas i te lm h hin W ha a typ o sma aga/hlt



cloe t h sea front. t as baic, b it had veyhing yo igt incluig eatig.

The wre evn f s i ttal e ad to ae bedromhi wat a bad hing, as me boy eat e om olda h pa . as give sm longjhns Uitetose t g r my al tuer I wa no eaing tpairs o tose tw pais o soks a a ti par o gv t fitundr my glv Wasig baskets mst b masive e to ealih te aot f loths bing wn on a day bai.



W et or a wak y te ea, a hn ad a wak on h seaits a it was ttaly fzen. e e ig alls o ice a hco had oze a av mi-reak. as ie f te reasono hi tri we a wale yig aot ever appla a afig o are i Lond Te lals ovulyst unt wales f od in hs part Thy tri thm and hnleav h acaes f te seaglls to eed on. spo hat i teprm wit eaing wales te etvrs a sc a pain t gtsut o I oldn't e dig wit it. t anoys m whn Suzanemakes gravy so my I an't o t d te ik and nd pgig otsie t o it own te grid, s aving aones to

gt rid f old really o m ha i Tey dipd f temqite cratvey y stackng h u k pk chp a GdRasay ish S we roaut I ' t ure ifh o ad t h tee a a fat oeone ad ytiped tem May pp go ot i h ark f nigt adm h. te t d tat ih h Cstma t ev yar.

I ad a fng hat tis ast a pace Id e eeng a livingha I idn't e many vig pole o and aut ite, apart

fm a man wo was siftig te f te roa wich i a jofor f if yo liv hre. Anote j hat nees t e one i haa i te ptyig o oney uket. y ukets a ued ism hm f te e wo at aff a eti tak. A hyckt is a five-gallon patic uket wit a tilet seat tp Imt p ih a fa alld wo j it as to emty tem Ias ask to h. sggested op on o f tei

ovea a tee as a a o spah ak ccrg uring hemtying f te ukets. N, ini? o a givn a t fadses hat ned teir ckt ptyig.

W gt i his tck, hi wa imar to a uti ryext it ad a pr on h se we yu oe th conteto h hy ckts into Yo te pld a levr wich ckh wast it he take Thre wa a masiv rack acss teisreen wih ed to e te cae o ut o v

vicles hre ite caue y upg nto tigs on ack or h co temat h ote a te cars hatr ispmig o wa air on te iid. We got t he firt adresshre my rst ckt as sat aitig te tep I ickd it p



a aried it oe t te tck It was hay I asked i hcontet wre a wek a mt' wh, o wat surwhn ti uket wa ast mpti. e a is tam ae utemtying ix days a wk.

Th patic ag i te uket ad en fatened a was fll toh i wih p a po It was like a aon fll o watrwhre h slightt ure cud t it. Gian it tatwoa o h TV ow o a o a ud loe ithre. e' aways loking at pps sto. ' ot utI' ay whevr hi uket elong t was t It wasiila t te lupy gavy was talking aut alie I tok y

tim ayig it a te ah wre lipy As I o it int tehpe, h ag lit and te m hit e. a hat wasmal a e' w sed t te ste. sme qite apyhat tis was hi j a jut ai hat ell is y my I uth ukt ack nto te orch, a away w wet t th xthue we h we two u ukets xt t se legs tatR sai oked ke ariu gs. dt hink tey wory auth ker apa hir hm in arw. f te ag wa

slit. ask Ro what h u ae lit ags and e jst saiBe cau It uny to hink at hm y inman dettak a ag i' t in a pr in ag, e i a lit agfu o site. walkie-takie wnt f It wa e as paigon fur m adesss f pp wh tei uketsemtying Thy on't recomnd laving te ukets ot tolong, as hy attat pla ear If tis ste attat ear

eay dt see ow te epe ay Marty gav m i poedto are hm f



Poar Ba ce o lik m T eaty ow. m ure if wud hae ee hat apy o ot a pla earwh o on the undra. ottig hu e a eafr hg like an or pane, or jut get o hhe s aok I' d hw kid are ge ar ao a og p tikig h'r cud rielcat ke Padigon ear, Po Bea, Yogi Bea andue. thnk ki grw p eng or ca f tedaag al ca d o hr d ore han tey re far. hk te ae lug wih fewr wore a alhan oe ua co wr ontanly tld i a u

Te man le i hre' whe t he n hpa, whi ea yu ot a ar te ea w al

ot yu, a ig pd y a pla ar in't on hBcke L. tld e oldn't a wandgaut on h fze a a ta' wee te ea tend t e.I tld im i wld hae e nic t e oehing hat waling I adn't e e ay eole i ng hr. donly n one or fed aal He aid Bar ifruty ied y h pla ear en tog here aronly aut ,0 f tem le te lat I ti thecold ad ore tha ta ut ey' dcut unde t h g hard p. e' ae i a wht ea onwht la i a ay ting o Ro d em taconcernd at e nur o oar a left te lat, h ed hre I po woldn't wat nrgig u.

W card i te oney uket llecion. t a odae ? hnk tey ge j nie ame to y a akh ep wo h t d tem eel ee. A mat w work at



Suway ai h was gien h tit o Sawic Atist whn ework hre. i yu, if o'j tit was ckets o ShitRoal ay not a ay wu apy

R tied te next ades on i run wa is cosin' lace.I aked i it wa d pikig p ukt f o fr pp yuknow Hejst agh a ai t ay. ak o know yma woldn't ke it i sh kw h prs pickig u e oneyckt In all t tim I'e kw er I'e nevr ad hrano hat e is gig t h . ally kw h sto go if h te to gt me and m a to g ot f a walk

Th m eptie th m ae rund to te iea f te

hy ukets It eans yu an s h toet in ny rom f tehue. ate it e I' exeting a dey an tey say teycold oe ay tie twee 9 am a p. hy aways turnu jut a yo're sat on te tot Wit a oney ckt yu ol h dor

After emtying te ukets I wt t mt Rz at hr hueSh was a loal ldrly wma Se ad a fairly ecnt-sizedgalow, t mc o a gae, t hn wat wu h oint

o haig a ga, anyway? Anima kins hg er wasigli oked frzn soid I dt know wat a go weath ay ifor agig ot ahing hre. e iited m into hir hmwhre I als et hr istr ay. h hating wa azing I wasiila t wakig it a epatmnt tore wh y'e ee uti te ld Oor trt, so tok of a ew f y ayr asat on hir oa. exlai tat I was i Aaka to se a wale.

At hi oint Roz wet f a ae ack wit a ag similar to tesiz o a ag o vn Chis



Mktk A lye f owea wha,' e said I xpained hatI wanted to whale swiming aund in te a, t i acari ag I o't tik hy u gap why I ate to sone t hm it was jst fo. ey ofer e a iec, s tieit. fet a bit ad, as Id m all hi way t see a ig walebor hy ecoe xtit and hre I was snakig on Muktuk i at in and art fat ate raw. t wat hrile utit wast hat geat, eih. h at oke p faiy eay, so yowe jst left hwing tasts kin. ' s if tey a oteotions tey woldn't at it ut tey haet o y d. A aiowas sat on te kite siebar tat wold bracast w o

whars hat te ha a atch Rz and Janey to m hw hyh ot wit he whang It' tei jb to it a diid itit pis Te whale I was eatig wa agt lat April 2010. twas w arch 20 1 and ' gessing i it wa a hisconsitncy hy cold b chwing hi w t Teprbm i arw is t a lace t b a egtari a it avg an't e gon e u to te itions thugh, saying tatRz' lace wa ht u t e eatig eig fll on m

se u av gw toato in hr oge I tld tem I watkn te uktuk. oz hn gt oehing els fm te dgefor e. t was a unk f caio mat It idn't av ay tate asit was frozn. At hme, fancy restaurants gie yo an otion oh eat eig ite w cok edim t w He inBarrw I tik t otions are slhtly defrste r froe I's tit tie Iv ad to ck meat t ote it b I wa ale t

chwTh tim tat i avd h okig i efiity take u wihchwing I aske why sh a a oe in te kitn. e jutlaugh. ut, hsty wy ae an oe whn eytig esto e atn oz aye it wa a git Iv got a ie cammake tat oeone ogt u tat wv e ed



I tried uiig an igo wit aney wen I was in arrowIglos are itt oe uts tat ar used mainly as emrgencyhusig. f yor ot unting i te idle o were teyofer a little it o protti rm te ta watr Jaystaed y gtig m t ig a hle aot 6t acrss s

u w t a h a oit n maa i. We th ad th riks y sing a ral saw to cutcks f i o th gro a te usig a sad t itth p Janey gt a neigur a a yung uy a whdit sem t av a clu to e ot t was gig w tiit gt t th of Its a tricky art as te loks o ice av to cut t slip i lace.

Jay said se ad t ave t g to chr. h thr tw

use th sae excus Tey asically ad a ig ow fora oar ar to eat e fro. dit thr stayig in it

Rz said se wu ik to tak e t a lace a PitBarrw. We ut ur lays ak a of w wet nevrhard f Pit Barrow ut sh seem so exit at ththught f going togt it was te loal soping arae a

pa to av a rik a gae f igo, may Roz gav m a lifton hr sw ik I trid t at as w wt ag. ask owmany wors r sw tey have hre cos d hard ter werhres I tik thy invnted th just t ak it mreitrsting or weaterm er Sh sai tere wre a ew utse seed t e usy oncetratig on riig th sw ike. dt know why ' s thre was nothing fr er t hit Stevi

Wer ol a give e a li in ths arts a it wudhave ee sae.I ae frm tesig p rm te ld wind as we tavele

along I elt th c mr, de t th fat tat was t dig



ayhing I nevr ikd waiting for ses at o f te ameaon. away ued to walk t h xt to til amalong A hur ito h jury e pit and sai The'Point Barw.' I ut s ayhing I ket askig we, ase kept pintig.



Rz etally plld p a ur te ngin a said,Kar, wem t Pint arrow Ter was hing ut a 20-otple. t was li erytig else Id sn si ing in arrowHonesy go o Gogle aps and tye i pit arw. f yohae g te itrt js sa i frt f a whit wall. hatswhat I was aed wih Se te exlai tha i was terhost art f Aasa and we wer on h to th world

I idn't eel on tp f te wr. y eadae was staring againmy se was rnig and my ft wer going m. N wondrsas dt hae has or et s nowt t o wt oon.Thy ral ell of wit rostit I xlai hat I idn'thin tis was h o o h world, as hat is sposd o ris. hin w g h worl te wrg way ao a ta Australiaisn't own er ut u oer, t sh idn't erstand y pit

W wer te y ones thre ut I guss ta was surpris Itwas ray ray ld now, as te sun was sartig t dro. ashr what d e o w and se said se sally rigs a hrmswih er se adn't oter tday. o a tl f watr



fm my coat pckt It wa ze lid, a my Gaaxy Ripwa britt. e my layr wen't keeig m wa w. mloa tay wa wearing ki m anima and big tuemae ro pla bar f. hi wu t b for me I dt likeweaing wite a I ee to ae m accidnt pillig tingwhn wea white hirt or T-it ' I tyig o ar not ttain tem I' geing pla bear pant an't te ort oclotig yu ca jut cuk i th wae iter, o tat' anoteeaon woldn't want a air Ay th hae at ay dryclea only ma thy wi ner get wah. wa yig or ap For oe a te ld ake yu want t m tan

a wone ony b e so fll. h pble athre wa nothing to e behind Te on't e to b te in arow aybe tat' wat th 20-ot pl i thre fRz aid e aly o hr bt we it oe wate (tfzen ti i wer thy m waig but thre wold b nowha ro he or a fw mt Brilliat

# �1 Q <t th h p Su! P

Aftr bing to arrow on't tink I nee to iit Atarctica.I iagine it uit iila in th way that wt wattim ebatig to g to iter Teneif or Bnid. t tham tff

Baw i Alaka wa wort eeig jt 'co it a lacethat one hu be liing in. t' d to tik a wit

thi eole ar ptteing abot tat pae chwig on walebbbe I tik th bt way t ee Antactica i by watchingDai Attnbog te ty. et hi d a teexlorig. thing but now for mi, th andae



dest chang a we yo see otag o th enginsmarching acss te pace ee tey lok iss f withing thr thy're fro thre.

As f stig te Nt or oth Ple think itsjustone f tos tigs that yo o s yu ca tll pp yued it. ts t a exeince it eels difrt ostaing aywhre se te lat I sto n teeqator w was in Afria seeig th gias and temory h f it is a i cofe a mfn w got frma ae the

Th xt ay got a mssag fm thn. watd e tha r to Pi Wiia o to g and se sm glairsHe xpained tat glacies wre elting at an acrated pa Ito hi I was sik f seing snow a ice ut wt anyway. 't sur what tpe wat m to a fm y ip to tegairs I m awae tat th eat is warig p, t what ca I oaut it I tik Im uit go whn it ms t sng ergy.I' aways telig uzan to ut ajup a coat ate

than th hating, or to walk t te sueaket ate ta mdriig e A I' al dt us ai des iie i e e u m ey-eieh als ys plastic prouts tat art ed, lik kite rohldrs A kithn ll is qite apy sto y itself witot anyh fro a oe Als 'm hapy to wea te sae soks a wdays on th i aet walk u. ts uza again wo

taks tem o m to la Th tes th kettle. We se'smakig my ine se' ask m if wat a cp f ta with it, aI' say yeah, s sh ils th kettle te gts wit aking tesasag a gg wate, thn fgets aut te ta a has t



il th wate again whn h' eme. e ay e canmlti-tak, t e at Tat ktt il th wate te otim efe it it th ta ag I t yo Greea oldn't echaing il cmpai it zan tey d t ort ot.

No n seal Jon't hveans or f . t' no o owiL, cuio. Tj frb"

o w fro

A th oat mae it way towad te glacie te irector

pit ot ig unk f ie that ha roke away a wroating aut ike itte onto He wa teig e that m othe glacie ae ii f year ld, t cat gt exitaut ld ice. ce i ic o vr e oeone ntiqusoadshoting u with a ck o ice a a Wething get it mii f yea ld tggle to gt y hao it Riky a hi girie ogt m a uzane a oio m fih tat i ated at 35 ili yar o t a it oe

w a tat a tw hrita ago, t te it ijt at xtto te Ninteo Wii.

A th jury wnt on te aot o ice i th wateiread Big cunk th ize o a ii Cop rlld a oke



u a h wavs it tem Th director wite o aot ow i allh glair ee astines cold gt od. hink his iswhy w are now adi t drik m wate ey day Thyeme at eat tw t a day now, mayb tis is to try agt rid f sm h wate. hinking abut it, bttld wat utslv sm o hi ole Whn I was a ki te wasn't ch ahing a ott watr wea now hr's ga f te tuf inwaoss eay t e so o tat ut elp a it Lik I ai hink d y i towad aig h panet ut I ink we'alwa av to han a soe stu will ie o. 'e said itbor abut h oo Tey wet xtit, a w carid

Riky ma at e, sayig that evrytig has it jb a itspa, bt dt hink it des I receny read te is a kaa earhat s 2 s a ay ow, unless i's nig und oingstf lik a be-ars y we i's awake f tem two o strugg t ee wat tat is contiuting t th wold I ut egrggy f at ast 40 minut we it firt wake u whicleav an o tnty, whi it baly ses to ake a esh newb it azy rs

Lik I ai ae nergy 'cs I on't tik i's go t wateayhing Th staby ligt on te TV cold go, as i' singergy. tead haig avrt tling u t mae ure it' f,why dt hy jst gt rid f it Te ligt i h fig old gow on't ae h in freze, ue y dat ak pp twstf away whn it eectly , a we ncurage to uyw itead o gtting tigs ai. wold al ut a stp t

itma rackes a indr eggs a te aot f rap hybring onto te w is unbab Ta' a t tuf tat endu i laill. t's fny t tik hw in Egyt hey ig and ijewelley and ases mae f go fro yars g by. Whnpp i te ture ig teyll find a patic kitchen ll hld.



I wa ut on t dk f te bat we thre wa a aecakg o that wa lodr tha tundr. t wa cau by brakng f a ge gace, prbably cau by zane bogth kettle aga Te boat u p, a two fa o we th boat tate gttng ed to wet ut. hy wre thre my afty a tey wee xprt on dalg wth co waterormay, thre ealg wth mn dp own n fezg cldwate wkng on o g, bt toay thy wer atg etochng m . wa hand a e t. hy ad t wa thaet cour. n ot I wa execte to actuay get tefzg co atr to gt en clor to te glace Te

colr woud tand ou, so ras I drftd t I t iton. ey we gt abot m tandng ot agat t wht Ito ut ke a bo on w Whte ale ace. t lk rubbhon m, a t wan't tgt tng Te ote fella' wt t lokgo ke th Caby' k Tray a or that bk ut o thBoe lm but I ad te ok f a blody jy baby

# 1 Tuh , l i c eherjI u ee te glace and wa hapy wt that W tochng tece wa gong t ak te xpre ay bette dt know Icat be any wold eay wat to o tat I an't agnef te qeton on ailorns wa What wol yo ke tod bore yo d that u oe d wu b a toawr Why? I realy dubt ay f te angr n ba teiaic ft te need to reach ot a rub thr hand n th brgbor thy wnt und and w.

Th two aty en ak m f a coe wd that wa to

ot I elt wate gttg nto te ut, a t' o co t u km I wnt a word tat u on y at t o tr f te frtre odiot boad, wh wa g Tart'. k thatword, a thr wa ae o m accdtay ayng t, unle



sm ask m what my faoite ak was t tat ditsm te ort o cat h mn i ak wu rig u. h twmn said, Con a?! ongrs at I ai. It's my avuritcak Am rut with jam insid ey contied t tgglewih te nam, s te iect aid I hu ose ahr wdWell ow ao te wd h". hat ggest I ed epThat s what it ws ietd or' te nd we ue h wordap I know t und aft, t att wat h word i, itwill always ud ridilos ing y i a ergey Sempatetic tat if 'd eed u drownig to dat an zan askedh if ad any msag for e a tok my last reah, hy

w ave to have aid . He t said "ape.O h aety w ad een estah tey tok e ut in

hir littl at and ued m vra. ti t hld t tesie f te oat, I ut a y uit only a hre fingrs,s it wa ar t hld to aytig. on't ik t ig a togra tigs I e w mitte as a ki s o thi Thy adyur fingr redat I wondr if w wold ave evlv t dme wit o t i we adn't tat to coe te wih o

a oks. e gloe ar also aft We dag wit a haychike i a ating tin wit ht jies loating aut yo need aprp gp Why tak yur fingr ut o action at ch a citiatim to zne h sold gt wldr gv, t se aihy dt lok i hanging f h utns rack in te kithn.

Th two men sh m away frm h oat I oat arolik a turd in a ney ckt for ao te mite a eole

h oat watch o soke I wat enjoya, a it wan'ta geat pctator evnt ite All I u ea wa te rai oingdw my wet uit Aftr a g te minut o h mn iak aid, i' p ei work wa one. dut ti i test f work tey a pt i all h taining hurs for. ey liftem ut I wol e anote ay Ijst hp it wil mitrsting tan hat one.

W haed oe t a lac alld diak we I got a call froRiky He tld e tat hi i we I wu getting t e awha He ai I wasn't going t e a sy tuity at withlot f hr setats wold a a oer ishing oat



I et h sma rew f ur and f we wnt. in wa tecaptain. said e ee wales all h tim, s yhing edprmiing at hi pit I tik te fat hat tey a a ndageeseci ad t trip ore worhwile. hat igt seem manbt h tigs old b extinct i yars t m It ke akinga efft t see yo gan wh e's ill. Yu dt know owmch ger se' gona b ao yu make h efort t ehr. als nd sa h ot intetig lace te latTh world i 7 wat o, ay hink te lat is hre mfor ea han t i or u. always like t wat TV prgramesabut te ceans, espiay if tey' lokig at te tf tat

liv eep d own i te ak. hr a sm od tigsdw ter Te ante fih i o my aoite I' a shat a eoed wit a typ o ligt blb hanging f h ft fits ha to h it nd fod i te aks. har hat a man hadone f tes i a fih tak a e rad is war by it at ight.Yo can't get a ore enegy-int pt han hat, can yuSuzan is alway aying se wants a s and I'e aways saidhy dt d ut w ol get a ew f tem or i te

loge Id e p or it. 'm alway aving to wak ao switchingo ap that Szan leav Stas ar als aazig. hreis a tye tat if it loes an a a new wi grw ack, and,evn wirdr, a ew tas an gow fm te etaced arm Yocat gt me an. dt kw if yo an at tem, bt yuca, hy u a evrlasting snack.



Baue 'm ry go a imig and aferexernig e hark in I on' ik i e i fm I e apie j gig o h imge iSelfrg Thy a a ey ime lleio f .Okay ey ea kno, h ean yo a geay o a ee d em ihu ryg ao aark ming alg and aking yo g f

aral ol al go ee. ee are hale hahae a ig h ikig u e p f eir ha. alaypzzle m ha e naal aally x, e eole ak f

h iorn a i mae-p yia reaure. A i i i a hreih a h. y gona make p a myial aal y nog f a i or a a. A a-ead aa ih ig ahman f old e rdr and j ad ha u hre andhn of e p f y ha.

A ell a em eig ndangred, h oe reao I ane o a ale i a i' no oehng yu a ge e aaqarm I n o e a aed-u one n Ke la yar u y

h ie g hre e unil ha hed Typa We I rya ge h m a ld ke or m hy aid ' hae ok a ae ye a ha g ahd p a hy oe i aighaay Tey ai h yo hu g a e hyaed i Bru for oe ra o yo an a T ro i I a aja f a e a a ol o I og i aor e rik. e a ahr hale i Lond i e amApanly, i ha go Hapn o e a e a.Wehr yu ig a a ar on ill a rkypa o ge aro.

I od lokng u for hale ail a e r ee ging ih eir j h ig oa, unil Bria ggeed p



sm oea I u elp ut I didn't wat t eem ue Ifit hat be o hi woldn't be eeing a wha at all. ichn to e hat hy wud b ot fihing all igt Thi wridm, as seas te to gt ore ely at ight I ad't amys f a igt ut at sea. hught it wold jst b a fwhur I ut oeas. ey stk f s. Nt jst s butottn s. at jut gagged again now, at h hught f owba th sme w Ei asked m t go into h bit ro t hcut bait. wa givn an otps to cut p I wut hav kwit was an otps if e adn't tld e Base toues hav nob tey ha bviuy soe it it oe typ f col bx

a attned it it a o tat uii wu a bnimessd wit. hy hn tew te at-ack' ctps on hdk a ew tie to efrot and e it a ittle If z had beenhre sh wol av hught tey we rving a starte

I wa y jb to ut unk te ize f otates. tpss aeeay braiy. as tellig ric abot h otps called Pau tatwas ab to ct te wine f ach gam i te Wldp I wasn't ipres wih it knowing tat gla wold loe

hugh I reck a stafih knew tat was gna pe, and teyait evn got a rai I aaged to get tog abot e f itas whn I a to stp Th chggig f te ngne te sm fmy oea a t sight o ish beig t u tart t afect ms wet otsi to ty a get soe fres air but tey asked mto ay on it my k a kept outig Ch chp I maemy way hrog h e-ing sply o as Kwledge a

smties make tigs wors Riky to m ags ag hat tetesti f a ctou ae in its ha. aid, Coe tey aeWe els wold tey b Thyrejut a ha wit leg atfat tck wit e o whn thy aked me t op h ha pa gunk oz ut, hat was it I coldn't o anyore. went asat otsie t eck a eav.



Th directr cam to talk t m, bt not or long a th ellfm my clote wa to u f im a h walk ff t beik. redie te o man fred m m ill that h ai old pt againt my gu to e fight te eaickn, bt itdit m t wk Riha te rector aid I hu try goingiid th nicr aa away fm te bait. ikig abot it now, hprbaby aid tat becau e wanted to ae it, to.

I trid t tae my i of te ickne by watchig one f teDVD thy d boad I pt or ing ng but beca I elt i coldn't tand or long eugh t get th dic in thmai a elect te ct chan on th TV. rally wantedto get ff, bt wa tap. at wa te wt thing abut tiexeince t beig abl to eap I ad my way to te eyft o th bat Te wa hardy ay pae thre thpp, whi wa god, p it wa th pa ftht away mth m Ijt watd t ecae a be y wn. atbrathing eply wit my ye clo. ian th captain hutdthat te wa a prm wha aha o I oked a jut aughtth tai a it went bak into te watr atr breacig. thught w



wold e gettig u s ut tat nevr hap. A sat stwih y ey sed cud har th maing sund fm tewha Peole y h moa i a wha comating, t It convinc. ay e tog tey wet o eig landmama vr 0 ii yars ag tey t ain't got ued tosasik and at wy hy' maing

Ria te director ha gone insie to ty a sleep of issiks. h p till wat hig e f ay ette I triedh iea ri sweets I ogt ag wih m Thydi god watsoe, eihr. dt know why hy're aimat fihan y on't elp agait aiks. ts t ee a

f the fisrn :ke S ssie rkt. They Y s wmake weets aid at loipp mn.

I wa at in t darkness w. t was frezig ut at leastevry l e aone Evntuay rian ae t t te fronta aid h was ging to ea ak t et s gt o now tat ha ee a wal wich was dt f im I ti h t f teilm cw we a ga w idn't ae to stik it ut or mchlongr. We gt ack to te ao aro 130 a.. was so

hapy to ak andMe and Ria wr staving, as we adn't ate ince

lunchtie o w thught we wu make s o 24-oMcDa's xt t o ot Te ida o a Qatr Poe,fi and a aple pi was jut wat wa needd Th ft owas loked, so w walkd t h driv-tugh otr

DIVTHOUGH GUY tis is a dri-hrughYo av t e in a ar.

KARL: We vn't got a car.

DIVTHOUGH GUY it oany oy. fyue not in a ca, I ant ee yo.

KARL: ut we'r staving

DIVTHOUGH GUY i I u e fired orsving yu



L Bt wo will kow? It's two How will yooss kow!

DVE-THOUGH GU: eci ces si Wereeg motore

No woe the wos ice s metg we were oce o se c iste o o egs.



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What av yu ught tat shit for?! I ea y ad say wileI was visiting Tis is always y ads ati whn my amhas ee ot shpig.

Yu sai yu wat a sa adress ok Y an't get asatr one ta tat, its weang a tie.

Ya ut at a leathrund yo sily so.My ma ught ths fro a aty shp Ths ae te y

sos sh tnds t go into thse ays O a we my ad takeshr it town a sh gos th ht or tat i xam, te aFoation shp, te PA a anaos

Why can't y fnd sm ecnt stu thats actuay wth

smtig?' my da said ike te eole on AntiqesRadsow Put it in te n!

h h whn h h w h e'ught vr th yas to uried wit e, lik sm ki fEgyptian kig. xct with tat u gaag eg ut in tehle I dt kno it wu a cassed as a feral or landMy da proay tiks e osn't o u twas hig

charities, t e es. s th wh givs e mam te yto se i Oxam and es u taking th ca shs ogt ackto xfa wic is thn sl (smtes to e am). suning one ig aty cycle sigle-haed



I eti tee at f aity a tis is what iky andStepe wat t get m ioed in wile Im in Africa. hgllas I wol e eeig wre i ganda, t y st sto wasSoh Aca

STEPN arl, hing t o ef yo ie can idhig ter or once in yur lif

KARL: ang on a ite. What d yu man for onc in ie? I d oas of chaty stuf

STEPN igt.

KARL: f swed yo y ak tatemt yo' hink itged to ote ea.

I igne u to a t o h hariti year ago hn liv on

a igh street. hre wer s ay aity cot it I' suroad acidnts wet p, a eole had t kep osig th syoad t aoi h. shu hae tart a camagn to aiemy f te u ed za rigs Id nip o on watsoldv n Uik ra t gt a it f ilk and e pak oe 25 ites late wit h mk I wt ut or a acoy o a direct eit ' st u to h av a mig wleoa. hink tis is why ordrig o onli a gettig it

de has m s pplar It a way o aviding inghasled y pp wih ias. And h ariti avgt yur me hy dt leae yu alone. Whee tes adiaste in h wrld aoid awring my pone, as I e to h t pson y get on t f elp I Rd Cs evr wet onho ans to B a iona 'm prtty ure ty av m ashir Ph a Find



Pmrose Hamsta sd t e th pa o gocelety stting, t ths ays tey te t hang ot i teEngish han raising my harity. Yu ct turth loa news tese days withut harig at smof

Tswimming acss te anel. N we imigant

mes ar gig p s ios hw easy it is to swioe t ur otry we chy celes are oing it or f

Th prolem is, its hard t kw what to gi yr my t. ea that mey was rais a hat tat nee a ai osiprs f its sore ft, a anote st was aut a man inAmrica wo ad testis s ig e ast paye kie piewith tem as h walk dwn th street. hy wer swonthy wigh en stone ut h olt aord t get thst and yt tes a elepat waeing aot warigsiprs

D L O we ad aied in ut Afria w haed for a lace aldDiepslot o ourgs ost esy pplate a otownsips As I stod y th oad waiting for a a called p to

pik m u t wee sacks as a as y eys u see. hywe uit like onfirs, with ay matrials thy u gt thirhands sed to ut a o oe tei ea. wast to shckat th sight, as it's we' sown V agai a again. was



eay or it ut wat wa ifeent frm h cvrag fpa ke tis was hat not evryoy was a f-p Thmo wa simar to te tat grew p , we te eoleknew tey adn't a mch luk i life ut we jst gtting wih it Te atmspe was sisigly peat ad a m fa munity el han te stet liv on.

I et Sep a man wo ep raise awars a oney for htownsip He gav e a handhake tat wa o lng andcopat d n s eort g it a ance rtine tritlym Daing hi i ow eone hak as, wei's taking s g to get tuf ted ot he.

I ot in is ca and w state talkin

KARL: w ay pol a i tis aa

SPO: Ao 00

KARL: 0!

SPO: Ys tatisti w tll yu w hae 00 ut whae vn at it is t 30,0 W di a wak aot. Wedi soe arch It ore ha tat. And it oly a twoclii

I wu a igtmar to try a d a pr cunt o all te

sacks Eeytig i ramed in o tighty and tes proemeig yt. o tld m tat hy hink tey'viied otig aea ore eole hav od i, s it animosile tak.

Sep said te ist stp wold e at a scho whr I wu getto tach m a kid. h togt f it tri e. ditknow what cold ofe te. haet ay gt a seciaistsjt I was i at col. hik leaned e o teqesti ha on Buseyeey Sunday ight han I adall wek at col Laring nes to e one in a itrstingway for m to ta it in. think kis lean to c h ays,a th ai tigs lik mats a spng get t i. aic



athetc oehng I nevr learne a tey e to kentng to tah s alga a Vn agram, a hw t ask ora re er gg to b sefl as I not keen oneatg .

Agan d athetc adng u h s m tepaye B. If t hat bn or Bye I on't kwwhre I d e. t at hat I dn't try n scho, my bra jstcoldn't take t n and s coldn't njoy earn and ten I gotleft ehnd Mst ons wer sent cortng a my mtakswh ott f p-Ex. fund o my schook yeaaftr I t a th page wr as stff a br as a opao

'cs o all h Tp-x Th teachrs dt always kw ow baI wa at hng a lot f te akg was d by ag yurbok to sm ote kd t can oe as h tach a ut teawr Thnkg abut t, t wa trated ore lk a u qz.

W pased a cop o BMX ke te way t te scho,s si coud tch h fw tis I usd t o mi tye o PE so wat I was hnkng ut o a hame t ofr hn tat. knew dt Be, a rctor wkngwh uke uggst tat I t h what I ad laned m ytaels ao te wld But ot f tes ks old neeleav h ara. ey e ul k. urng p a tellgh hat Ca tey dt hae os on te ulc totwold arly sk tem So o h kd d't ae frontdor hr hm

Sep sad te kd ad aleay ck a to f e and

wat t ha e spak t h aot Rk. dt know whrto tart I dn't ae a e aot h k kd n h area wuhae t watc ot f I obt te Gree ros d wold e tatmortant e



I ot te Gree ros d wold tat iptat hre.I nte te clasrom Tee wre aro te kis waitig f

my ariva, whi dit seem like ay t m My schoclassrom wa ked I tik I wet t te only sol we teclassrom ad standing rom y.

I wnt in hard at h ginig so te kid wut ekyto e.

KARL: Arigt Sto esing ao at te ack Rigt, willsmone sht h dor, pas Bcaue ta' vey iky

leavin h p Riht od So u wt t knowaut sk D any hre hav any isk in hir lif

CD: a try?

KARL: Yah urs yu a

CD: So tnags fa gant. hats a ik

KARL: w ld are yo to wrying aot ta?

CD: Titn.

KARL: hitn! I idn't wy aot haig kid we was hirtee onestly, I togt I was coig i t takaut Hupty Dupty. thy onestly want t know

aut sk

SPO: Ys

KARL: x? yu undrtand tat hats what wtalking aut e

CDE: Yes.

I trid t remer what wa tagt i sol ao sexedcation ut I u only eeme te wo as at aro a



sall ortale ty a a wn-ut V payed otag o smeay hairy nu eole aving it away It idn't really coe anysk a uh

KARL: igt ts s. es evryoy in e wat kidwhn teye ldr?

CHIDE Yes.

KARL: , I avn't got kis, jut o yu kw. ' 3w avt gt ay kid.

CHID So why d yo t av kis whn y a ld

KARL: 'm t hat o! ut avn't ad kis basehy'r tul. was a kid . And wa a work Yocat jut ay h, I' gna av a kid It ot lik a dghat yu an rt o kik ut whn yuv ha nog.

Yo'e gt t lok after hat kid for ya.

CHID It eans yu on't av a wie!

KARL: N ae I'e got a giriend, t a wi.irie o 17 yas.

CHIDE asps

CHID Ta' to yog.

KARL: N n, sh not 17. v bn wit h f yars

CHIDE Ooh ght

KARL: igt. sort o said t h i yu wat kid, I t

yu hae a ki, b I dt wat te ass o it ecassmone i h relationsip ha t lok aftr hat hd, dthy? ite te ad or h mu. And I uy, working



CHID Wit wa?

KARL: Well ok at e. ' i Afia I ad a ki athm liig i Lon wos gona lok aer it A kids fig o it eet. 'v gt wrk Tis imy jo.

CHID Yu av a wi hats ging to it wit i athm

KARL: N nestly, yu on't kw wat sh s like At hginig hd ay shd e apy to ok atr it ut ayar i, sh d ay I want yu to o it. m ik o it. Ta'swhat se' ke.

CHID Sh a at yu



KARL: e an bat m

CHID Ya becas o whn yo tell e tt sh mut

stay wit h baby

KARL: e wt litn. t's all ey well at tee Yodt know what e' k. h'd g No, yu ad hi awell. 'm gig ot wit my fries Yo tay ok aftrit.' A I b the wit a baby tat I idn't wat I' notgo i it ta' wat Im ayig. t s it

haig kid. ca b a tog tig to tak , u knowIt o h tughst tigs i life aing a baby. Ppsay oig hu is tugh Its wt copared to aving aki. tik abut it D yu all hae bters and sitrs

CHIDE Yes.

KARL: st ol d. , i' noral e t av big

failis At e i' ey exeie. f yo d a twobo hus in on it sts, lik, ha a illion.

CHID Yu an tay i te mal hue.

KARL: dt want to I'e wked a. dt see wy hae t liv i a sall os to ae a kid

CHID Lie i a hak Yo can stay in he. ay eoleca stay in h sak.

KARL: kno, bt on't yo want me ta tat Ae yohapy jst t gw u and tay i a shak in Dipot

CHID but yo can make a hue ate yo av yoch.

KARL: t's al te wg way und, hugh et ajb it.Do yu a have an ida what yu wana d we yureoe



CLDREN Yes.

KARL: Yu all hae a og iea? Concentate tat.Fos on gtting ajo. Get hat jo et a wman eet aman. ae a go tim for a it . bt b cau. War acondm A te e yuv gt h hue tgte, ayuv en wih h f a wh and yu kw teye teone yu, mayb av te o ff Hav a little kidDon't ruh it it tog. igt wv coe hat Watelse d yo wna kw? What els can I t yu ao?T yo anote tig bore yu hae a kid, larn t driv

Th's lsl

C LD We will av a ki efore w will ea to drie

KARL: N! Why are yo i a s t hae a ki? A yut listeing t ? What wrong wit yo? w o areyu

C LD Titn.

KARL: f yo' hirt, yu on't wana ha a ki untilyue 1 , 2. N rsh, jut slow ow

C LD Wh cut yur hair? Yo?

KARL: N its t cut Ti in't a style. 'm ba!

I u ee ty wee gettig a it or o I aed i hywat t pay te MX ik ' see h way in. hiw eked h u. taught h a ew tiks I sed t o wenI wa tei ag I togt I gae h oe god adie. spo ee or two tak ay tice aye v hedh. cold st o h trick ue to d 20-d yas ag it

ges to ow y brai rembrs hw to d hing ejy dig.Sep said y day wat oe My h wa nedd t bild a

w hm or a cal iet W piked p a ne £50 hlthat iky and Stepe ha pai or, a now tey wat e to



ild it W dr dpr it h townsip Te epr we v,h tightr and rge te ras s t gt a h clortogehr h saks ae. h fella was ildng te ack orwas ill ut sai e wa te e. lie i a sigleomd ack, eigt y twe et wit a wman and tyung kid Thy ad aleay remv tei ew pssions a a cop o cuas, ankt a pat o hat tildr wh w dating tei tie and u gt to wkdohing te ld sack It was h togeh it only a duty ai hre ad te It wan't ut to g ago I kw hias I o a p f h n fm 208. Chr o's prolem

wih e hsa Ahy wa te ai ty Od t imagipp hr aig tat. e ella wa ying n hi att ath ie a w wee oig wih hamrs on corugateseet. can't iagine ayhing wor Big ill ist go as itis, er mind ving iler in kcking yo oe own.We yure not w yu jst wat to e t alne. can't edig wih viitr wen I in hspita I' anying owpp viit yu me at h tie yo' feeg yo wt.



As we ut p e new tcture a ew ngh gir am t elpknok i a w a Thi i te pat tat dit seem rigt to mI kw thy wr y tyig to h ut ore ai we gettigued as hy ut hit tem i taight, a te jo wa takiglongr. is is pay why te last ht idn't ast e long Ieindd e f o hs DIY ow we mshsa as lot a lg and t ale t finis teconsvaty is hue, t hn a lm rew t p asdey neigurs tey dt ev kw m a h o hyca gt h tly. h actua ih o h work i no god 'csi's one amats.

I dn't f t go bou wht w' d Ys, it ws siy new shak ut it was ilt on te am sot as h ld onegt next t a rir o ewag a ruish

As we wre leaig I aked what wu ape to te lddty hak tat wa y h ad Sep to e h itwold e sd y ote eole wo need t a a shak. h wat gtting salle I ayhing it was gttingiggr. hink te son I gav to te kid, as ueless as it seem

at h tim, might av n or ul ta uiig tat wht.

I tld o my hught a h sai e wanted t take e toSowt a twnsip tat as imoe a t si oney waspugh it t pae. shaks hae ee laced wihrik-uit oe wih gardns a aiag I remrhinking, Ho , rik-uit and draiage i g ut gardns

I ain't en gt ne f tem Teyll hae ot ts next 'He ue u at tw uge cog twe 9 mtrs tall, wihh b in wit lods ouu imgs t sndAfria. t ha e one ack i i tie f e World Cu.Sevn oal atits painted h urals oe 7 day uig 0tes o pait. said it was w u a an entetaient vnuI wa a go ida. grw u in a os wih a o hat faa emia pant a te coig twe ar lly ig gry

ugly�okig tig I sed t it y y windw a a yung kidwaitig to s if any FOs wold and hre a imagi itwold e te ort o pae hat alie wu want o exlor



I got ut o he ca and was abut to ak what t fetrtaiet tok lace e wen I ear a ream I oked uto sm faig o a latf hat ung i betwn htwo twer By bunge juping again.

I tld o here wa way d b oing it, hat I tri itbor i New Zaand a it wan't e, b h sai it waRikys ida a I wold get a gat viw f Swet frm uhre. We got in a ag tat ra p h ie o h owr. calledRiky to ak hi wat h was payig at nding e t a bungjup agai

ICKY: w' it going

KARL: 'm a bit pised f 's I' te ge o a bgejup again.

ICKY: a, I tik yull f eay go abot yursif yo av m go a o it tis tim

KARL: ut I tld yo at tim we wa in ew ZealaI on't wat t d it I' not at f my Bcket Lit.

ICKY: knw, bt it wird yu on't want d it Iman yo wut adit hat yu we car I' tb saed, b hink ee dw yu wied y' avd it. ike a ea and pobias we wish w old

oem h but t d tat yu hae t fa h. A tehing v eetted i y life are hse v nt d, ttie my adest at. jut hink yu fe gat i yo jup

KARL: ah, bt whn dit d it at tim gt bakto te ot, I ad gt. t'jut not m Yo knowwhat I' lik Yue kw e or ag I on't kegtting a bz, a hats what tis is. ts pites. dtwat to o it Tes a or m t o tis.

ICKY: hn wat i gav yu a a t jup Iby a ht sm if yo jup How mch ae tey



KARL: hy' £0 d ah ay te £50 ut o my owmy ta hi jup Im eig onest, if tat' wat itcoes dw to, if ta's wat all ti i aot . gttingahr ht.

ICKY: £50 t to jm.

KARL: ty. d muh rahr d tat.

ICKY: , Ill aie yo. 'll uy two ht i yu jup

KARL: 'll ay te gand Let' ae it te Tw htshy' e h mon wih tat Le' ae t te

ICKY: N. hree. hts

KARL: ck sake.

ICKY: And hat ti wold make oeone' so

difent and s mch ttr if yo jmedKARL: Yu aking m ok a rigt twat e

ICKY: N ' t.

KARL: Yu ae, 'cs on't wana d it and I'e ee inh hts a hed ild I was teaching ks aut x

a uny h . I really dt wana ti I pay it.

ICKY: Yull pay £,0?

KARL: Y

ICKY: Nt t jup

KARL: Yah, i tha's what hi i ao if his is autaiig or y 'll o tat.

ICKY: 'l t yo wat ate tis is my last ofer, ?I y i t i yu jut jup Te yue one it



yuv raised te oney, yuv ogt e t aically,fie hts f yo new es and yo' eel god autyurs and yue ad m ok a twat. ik aot it . .

I id tik at it. ha xactly h ae elig I ad whnI' tod h dge o te gee latfm i Nw ZaandLuke te iect rally wanted m t o it hi ti, and diSep. was willig to pay te ie ut yef t was mworied hat iy wu keep idig e p t pit wer Iwold ae oi t to d it. Wh I wa tikig it

hrgh uke sai e woud take my plae a it ad cot us to gou hre o sm may a w o h jm. h wa we Icam u wih a a I aid h igt a w wa y at, s itcold e lme o lok ke m dig h gee a hn coldcall icky ay hats it Iv one it, and te I' ay or hhts whn I gt ack hm Jo d

I a icky ack

ICKY: w wa it

KARL: t Proe ental it wa

ICKY: i yo d it u jup?

KARL: ah I ad ( idn't ?

ICKY: w ig wa i?

KARL: Well ma, its wei caue we yue alligi's had to t I on't kw. t' ik yu g ank, lik itsgig on orer But, it was of a colig towr o yuknow hw high hy a But, it was kind f dientaue knew was dig it sm go. t psed m a

it

ICKY: xnt. Well one.



KARL: Ner again hugh

ICKY: We one. N yo on't need to o it er agaiYo id it Y know what i's lik Teye ging t getfie hts o hat o I a to o

KARL: Well w'll sort it ot we get bak

ICKY: Wow W one Wre yu sa hughYo an amit it now yue one. Wr yu sared

KARL: N nt ealy Jut togt igt i te taelling I oing tis Bag. Boh et toe ehts Lts gt tese pole hapy e '

ICKY: rant. Well 'm pru f yo. Wel one.



Shiry wa aking a ink f ta a akd I d ke Wile wet o a norma gli Beakfat tea, J ad mfancy redwo ta fm a two-litre lasti bttl. tang to tika ip ad faie tate tha e.

I wa a to imagi tat ipo are cased as o hmst dangros aials on h panet a stroked er on h haa gav er a dik. t dit evn tu th sies. t jut wntdw er hrat ke I was lik oing wate own a gi.

ica wa nw elev yea ld a hips hae bee knownto reach h ag f forty

SRLY I m e ote

KARL: s hat ow yu eel?

SRLY I am e ote Definitely Aftr I isai actualy lt at notig god u ape to e in mylife, a wh I wa gant essia actually ked my

by. And ar I isai I wet tugh a tamatiexeince in my whre gt adicte to tabt andalcoo vry ady. And I lept wih e evry igt andwhn h bame intewvn wit my lif, a ked yby and acpt e cold actuay kik t habit. sica ur e.

KARL: y sav e and se aed yo.

SRLY Ya.

I wnt int ti oe tog a oway tat ad a big steelsurity gate fitt to h oae. ut ke te bas at a zo itwast digned to kee a aial i, it wa t kp s frooamig into te os whn h pa. iley called to s.

Sh ad hr way o f te ie a u th ste gare ait h ft rom It wa at hat oint it got proe iea fh iz o hr. t was a ad ight, like oething i a caton ordram A to tink 'd ask if shu tak my shes of we



I nte a ew moet arli! hy idn't v manyornaet otte aund, bt hn tis wasn't aly a o fToni and i to liv n it was me ipo-findy. dutay ance may wud coe te sts o rakages if itwas ortd tat a et ipo kcked vr a i va Bt tisis h b wh haig su a et. t wud tak oe yolife. t' ad ugh we yu ae a og or a at a yo hae tgt m to ok atr t we yu go on hliday.

We I wa ao twe ha a et agie hat was f thae at t. wold tw ma gittey hng ke Coke angs and roeu tin fil a it wu th tem O a fw

oai it a yig into y beo w w ofjewelly hat it mst hae ite o or abd o going ntoote pn windws I wol rid aro th estate y ikwih aggie t agie at my handar oldr, and itwold ang aro h sho o I u lay wit it in h breakBt at a wil it ed to get uit aggresse. t gt t hpit tat d k ut f te windws bore leaing h hue tchk it wasn't aro. 'd hik te ast was clear, b it eed

to kw te so o ur dor oeing a it wd swo owna eck at my ad ke a sne o Ared Hithcks hBd h a straw wa we it pped te ty yRagh tr o I roe to h wate ak wih it a tesneaked f as it wa tryig t steal soe bait of soe eeI nevr aw it agai

Shiry tld e essa hang aot wit ote ipo

dwta a fw hur a day ut e always etur. esmties brigs hr pa ack ut tey aen't awed in tehue. t ried m f a ciho ate wo ed i a at o tat is ma wa bess wit kpig te lace pika pan and wut let e i, so s t hae t sta otsidhi edrom widw and hd av to trth te jytick oe oI u lay im hi mutr. t was jut a we e ed onh gund o

Shiry gav m a carie ag fu o gre eas a gt e tostand bi h worktp n te kite as sh alld sica oerSh p hr mut 60 dgrs as I tew in afu fbans. h e eay chwed tast th fo jst swawed



h a if tey we Hundred and huand and te lipedoe hr ig mut Uickly ke a a pal in or me Ispo its a gd way f gettig i o cas.

Wile w a n eeding er, Ti ad dragged in a matto te p an ut it i t f te lasa V hirleyano it was tie or hr maag Jessia di a ie-ointturn t gt ot o h kite aa a had te attessO it was lying dw it loke ev wie It' uny to hikSuzan won't et e av a 5-inch telly co say it wutak oe te r!



Shiry got ut sm cea a a t o u at ro Jesiaa rbbed it it h back Sh was ay axe a nod ofas we asaged hr. t was siila t oshing a a Wax ,wax o. e ki elt lik hard rubbr. spo tat i godhing abot ip a a et o ai te oa. st a fw daysag was bildig a ht f a fay f e ow hre wa ahip i a hu gettig a bak b wh noding o watigh tly.Later hat ay Sepe called t xpain tat I b isiting tedbele tribe a te next tage f y trip:

STEPN e Neb tb thyre a isappeaingcut Thyre aig ut, s teyre uit ken to pas onhir hritag to eole ke yurself. uv aleay gotyur own kitchn i yur caaa, so thught it might bei if yo p by and ok oehing u f te king o htib uing t aravan w te f yo. saing, yuse.

I on't really o coking Lcky Suzane lik t o it a Ilik atig o w work well togehr. f hae t ort mys oi's er ayhig nice, its jut oehing t to y ungr.Suzan makes ay i bties wih ad f etra bit ketoato, cumb a lettu, bt e tik aot pttighs layrs on. nce v pt h ch on i's ay to at as far

as I r.I topd f t a Sa prmarket and bught oe bits a

pi tat wre gig t b easy t ok uing t basi cokingimlemnts I a in te aravan. At oe sups yu av toask ayone a ay alergies to ayhing, bt I on't tikpp i tis pat o h worl wry abot hings ke tat. ve n ny ny tur p to a por town in Afria on

mi R an me ayig Thank or he brad but Ihae a what algy.



I ike t hae a paty with me ra and a cu f ta, t cat ee te Qe eing p for that Plu te Qeenwoldn't want t wating tim wit e ehr. t' a rigtri gig h' gt. 'm ga I wan't or into th royalfaily Yor i in't yor own. ha a ate wo a

chic bt t b btr 'co is dad antd h to caryon th ine. e Qeejo i th ae in a way.I at oter going t wding f eole knw

' I' a t at t long lt coi. h Qun a toeak to tota trangr h neer going t eet agaiAlway eig t cntre f attntion ut e anoyig rhr a w er eig al to a it ut elik itting in th frt row at a mdy clu.

I kw oeoe wo gt a iit to m lh o withth Qun. hy aid m ella a te Mater o thHoehld t yo th rle on hw t pak t hr.Aparntly e i gien igrapical note aot yu hca lead th onrati Ijt hp tat wa eer initthy on't Wikipia a m once ak e if twa tre that I kckd an ld wman f a ike and kile

hr a thy ra it on thre.

I ogt oe i or a tartr. rip, icut tw apa oe or wiggy wrm wt For th main I wt r thEglih aic f eee tat with an with chcoat caka tard or pdig.

I got t te de illag. eyr kw fr teir rigtly

coured uiig, wih are ait y te e woe yhand wit no e frm tol r rur Te eig arecopiat triange, diaond and zigzag atte tat wugie a aleon a eadach Th galow-tye oe ar



painted in a arity f red yeows, bes a gns wih a hikbak uti. ey lok ke a ga o Ttris

Stepe tld m it was a at that was dyig ut Bauei's t one to ld, i's m f a portunity or h wito xpress hses wih h hie o los a esig ast hsle aat o tei neigburs

Th atit mt was a woa called Faia wo is faufor e wk. wa sat with a w frind a faily hlo in te ha. m o h we h ta wr as brigtas h walls hy wer leaing on. ancia wore mtal ingo e nek.

KARL: w ay ha yo got ne, two, hr ur e,six e, eigt ni, te, ee, twel igs und yok!

NATIV WOAN Tes ones a h igia rigs

KARL: Yu cat tak h o

NATIV WOAN Yo leep wih tem, yu bate with yo wk wih tem

KARL: oldn't e oing wit tat. Why an't yotak h o

NATIV WOAN It ur taition

KARL: is it lik a wding rig?

RANSLATO xactly

NATIV WOAN Yo are sups t wait t yohsand ies yo yurslf ie.

Th sty gos tat h igs shw hir aitfls to hirhsa. on't kw why o many rigs hugh He neck was



lik a curtai rail. dit lik weaing o nec jme wehy wr tndy a hy giv e eadach I oldn't utu wih hi. he y oitiv u hink o i tat h wolde e tang y ayone.

Th yungr wman ha oehing dient und er k. twast tight to te kin ad o mta It wa a patictemoray one tat lok k h ig e a yo get on awashig achin. eion wa ke h aggy ose-tcopared t raina's skin-tit rin

KARL: i hat eans yure ai wat o tat oneman? o sf big ng arnd anhe prson snec



NAVE OMAN Married als.

KARL hat oks a t cofir han te brass s

NAVE OMAN owadays yu at i ta tye inay shps

KARL Yu cat find tese mtal ones aym Thatsbause shs wearing te all! Yu hae tem yuras, as we. Yo mst hae t us a lot f us t wakaund wit a tat. Can I yur ar p

NAVE OMAN Yes.

KARL ht i . ik t wight of bg ugr.Jss yo'v gt h yo gs as w Wat os tatman?

NAVE OMAN Married

KARL kno se's arid o okig at neck

Th otes ad lastic vrs on hir legs tat ga himessi hy wer wearing gs bt whut t wigt Itwast easy or h to gt p fm te sat osition as h

gs gt in h way o hir knees bnding



1I ki f a ri haig ao i' hi way flig o ri mr know f i oii w' go ui ad I d hik i rallyary r hr. Wh wa gowing u I d alo f y uncl ao Sa H d i dy lik i wa a

ps-i- li dls ll i. u h ubl ws,h di h a imf o ha god ao onhi a rap h rig a wa ighand.

Th Kig ha I wa waiing o ok or wa ni la hy aid y wa pain y aaa I xpain i wa

min and a ha hird i y ini and ai i wuaily wa of Ty wandrd o wi a uk wiwha lok lik md i ur o cow i. waalay £2,0 u o pck fm ung and y I acaaa andai o ay f o Thy aid i wold Faia ck hand in and ad aig i on araan.I wa noig lik h a y a on hi wa. wa ik okind f iy pro. uk aid I hu ca ay p auig il cow dg wa aiional way o fingr painig.Bak in h day i ad a a aa ug rpn. po i yoha hi a o uid o yur hu i k h i oh kich

I uk y an in and pid qiggly in i a ianglaap ha Fraia ad d I ok m a longr an i okhr. hra h an ing aro m a n m

apTh Kig ill ha ur p J a wll h a i

ga im o g a w hi m nail I hnp o cip orrad icui wiggy wm and a ul



o aples on a ate At this oint h tune u. I pped tebans on t wa u.

I wnt t get i and pt my a ut t shake is hand, bth jst ded hs ead i a way that sggest was t awedto sak his ha.

cause m t gios it woldnt ea ayhing t e think ' gt e jy i cold am westle hi.

He wast yu og staad-loking kig. was weaing thski o what loke lik a ceetah a caying a sied that wascoe i lionski

KARL: usy ay

KG a usy

KARL: Aigt, fai enog. Well dt know, emm, Imjust eaig yo od

KG s

KARL: w a pol a u atin with tiht

KG think te is y . this eole.

KARL: A t a atig as we?

KG s

r te be ver t the n n wk in lne bk wh the n



KARL: ne tw t, fur e ix a yoel en?

RE MR: spa native languag

KARL:

RE MR: spa native languag

KARL: Yo go a d wat yu gtta . ne twhree o i, six e, eigt.

RE MR (spas native lanua

KARL: t's al f m, Luke. t' a f em Eigt in tota

K: Yu poed to ow hre. t's taition.

Iji i a a ut coldn't joy it Daing isn'tsmtig yo cn d we yo're f p I' t sam wihwhitlig. hn rmebrd ha t h bans n th ga, s di a owak ack t te caraan.

That was wh ae I a toastr. ha t cok hbrad ity tp o h am on h hb I trid a bit, as allchs sold I l tate te gas, bt eeig a teyd nee adhi efore dit hink it wol e a b. t wold b kem atig stale mu, I wut hae a le I wa tgglig

to pn te eee slices whn tey ew eywhere te bawe ubng a h toat wa uring

not tat go at mut-taskig. uti-taking to e snding ema ile at te tit

I aked uke to tak oe te late o tatrs e aid h wasn'ttaking it oe a e wa barased y it. Yo cat it, yusold tak it,' e aid I tok te cris, wiggly ws,sortbrad iscut and te tw ap r. ey all tuke i

Luke wanted m t xpain te di ut said tey sold jut bleft t eat it I ae it wen chs coe p a sta tg ewhre h chikn li and wat it nam was Jt et e at it



t

Y f

t k rs t t ftis fr

r

W Y l?

Y Y st p t in. lys t t

rg

Wr trng g

tj Egad I .

Y

sr f ppl is

Y

W d , ly n dys. sisnt ll r j s ls ddig.

I is ff t l t ing it t l spg strd

I d t xrn



I was kakrd and wat t g t b. t I ad to was ath us a pas I ha us. wat t gt it srt rathr thanhae t fa it i te oring Ps ter are as f insctsknokig abot de t th sit on te sid o th ara I idn'twat t a my crckry cak in ats ater aig tem ut allight Ats a a ability t unt dw ay sweet stuf, s wash u in tota darkss sing sm shapo a a tiletro to y u.

I u asiy d a wk, i act hae one t s Iwat t tugh It was whn I was i China an smsd e og by istake. dcid to just ha su andri or th st f y tie thre. We got oe fet ike

I atay e mat My bdy os tat. t gts rges toeat rtai rits tat it biosly reqires. 'll be satwatching tely and sdenly want a lu an rang r abanaa. r was a a at scol wh at te taerschak. think his boy was ting hi h ed calciu.

Riky left e a essage te next ay. wat m to getioed in a major anima srati rject. 'd b hig torecate a wi ri at te ntabei nature rsr Ris arone f te mt eager spcies Te ai rbe seems tb pachrs kiig tem or thir hrns, whih ss reay



wastfu, lik kiig a hman f tei tsils. e st feage spies sms to gettig ge a th tie.

I we ow many o thse spcies a st oing smtigusefl te lt if tee aret many left. aye tey weeimortant ay yas ago ut ae now just haging aund, a itlik Cax

Paas hae ee i te news a t ntly I on't kw watto ak o th. hy dt seem to elp thses. kharig that th ai isse is that hmans a ripig u a teao tey eat s thy stggle to fi od, may thyjust a t nd smtig new to eat. hy seem eay stor,

\Z:n l:l w : r\n� � � his ating aits He's in his sixtis ut hs nee ad Iiafod, hines fo or pasta May as well as us hanging urways t sa th lanet aas hae t chage a it as wBags hae tt wit li dw tei ak. y always sto o da in th mid f te roa so di ths ape sthy fitt i with roa akings Maks yu we, dest it

Soething tt keeps roping p is loning a ow n te

xt fw yars sitists may a to ing te woymamth ack o e sng A. is is all y cler ut think its wong I it dit work ist tim und wy ring thak? ts lik a Steps ei tur.

Eehants a o my aoits. t's tei emies thata most amazing

Soe pole say tei meory is ette ta tat f ahman and ty ha en known t gnise a amymr ee tog tey ad n seaate f rtwety yeas.

I o wondr if tat's ecaus tey dt chage mch,whreas hmans can ay age.

I ear tis sty of a ate wo wet t a sol ri:



ave yo ee Bary He' age a t.'a e?'Y . . ' gt a vly ai f tit Al can gni pp bt totay ge wee o.

I almt wet u to m at Piccaily trai tationi aete wo I togt I kw frm ol tSuzan pit ot knew te fa baue t wa avBckam

Mayb ur ong te mory n't a u a it waar ag a tig chang u th day o pitemeng we th icut a n te eakt a

thy keep moig te ale abut In a way avng a godmory a e anyng a it man we tntly a onabut th go o day ita ojut gettig wt t. g and elepat n th wild ut th lpat ighteme yo eetg a lot ge ta it t wth yu



M; We I wa aar wt zane n Afra a o lionwaerng aut utd th tet, I uggt t uzan thatwe hu ut a ha�fe pat ott watr ute amy ate Na de th to k at f th aw It wrk,aparntly

uzan a t wa a tui ea and a to thmanagr f te pace that we idn't el afe h nt ownwo asai peple o b seuty. las w tued uplok aot 7 hr dre wa qit itretng, withraid hair t o ad and tght ae traped rothr lowr eg O al ad a at and aro iha. on't w if tat wa art f te tradtona r or

if e wa jt kig i had h knew wer twa. coldn't ak a thy ut pak Engh

Tey tck eathr to ertan part o th tt. zanaid tat t wrk ' thy ar th xert t anoyedm e togt three ater u ae u ro andyt e oh-ohd y tt o water ida



Or a illion Wieest migrae ey ya wit aothha a illi zra gaz a imala. Whas ma is tismiation y ate i te 96s we h pplai oh wildees ireased ae ets sop hm ying utow hr's so ay f tem tey hae t m f oa watr. lways sai hw sorig o olems jscats new s Te examle hat sings t mind ish way osias used to say hy idn't a eug sf aiets. y h im wen it hspita wit kideysts tey ha sored tat r a ad peny f eds wr sor illows. was etally gi hat

sti felt a i wrm as if it ad n rmoe frmundrat a ea had I an't s itut a iw. kon tha will h x elutiary st. mas willel to a ig uos it at h ak o ur has ostp us needing pilows Think aut it: whner y seimages o aien h aks o hir hads ar ally uitig and I' say tey' me aanc a or elhan s Jus og h image o th Rswell idt a

lok a h alie h e N piw ut it loks ftycofal. Atr ta Gogle h Wiest igrtion onYoT

I e L h agr wh ok m ut i is Land- a gottalking ao te i I was hre o h wih



KARL: Why av we gt t shit it

LE is paticuar i is a bu He' oig terity

whi i ll f yog fales many f te a isdagte s urely a simly o a onsvatiprsetie as o as yu anag a ere, yu need toassit wit h managet o h aials Te ida is hatwe're gig t mv hi to a w terity i a pat f tegae rsrv whre hs e ha a before and we'regna rpa him wih a bll fro hat tit whre w

hv m p.

KARL: t's lik a wif swa?

LE a ry u so W, hsband wa really

KARL: What wold apn hugh if te fa mat wihh dagte Wa' h ut

LE e st gnerati woldn't be a b but tescond ti gration hre wud probaby stat t bproblem. Getic waknes igt coe tg afrm h erectiv o managing ur anima o twat to nd u i a situati we we ut mnage haials bae f te tried eiet W hae tofind ways to manag h a ak s tat at w d is

bt, a obviuy h me NA yue got ix inhr, t stg ts is gn b t t nd h day.

He ue u at p f dg. hught e ay e bcoting it for te db trib t ait tei ft rom witbt h sai t ht h rhino own h u an o-aionedtechniqe f olwing taks, whi invlv tatig hirdrpigs.



LE What I a dig i eteinig te fress f tedroping. t ca b dtrmid jst by taste. A feetatipro takes pa wih ebiv as it build p mealcoo, it becoes a bitt wetr sort o tast

KARL: s hat a last eort?

LE Yu dt wat t llow h wrong st o fopritd yo?

KARL: w e eac week a yu kig it

LE t isn't ba tate. t' e dry Jst a ittle tate eryqicky. ik it

KARL: hr ort o gage in it?

LE N no I hre wa anytig lik tat, I ut b

dig it. woldn't be e to t te tory dvnd t

The wa a bg p o dg , t ee an A Yu an atbfft I erto what h ai abot tasting it but 'm prettys jut sqeezig it u giv yo es ik pp d wihm in sueakt



LE t m ow yu wat' going We hv a whleb f ping tgter Tis is normay n iicatorhat we ar dang wit a ma rhino Thy a h igdroping tha a fu o gras. m a lay qite o.Yo an ee tat.

KARL: Yah, I an ee tat.

LE ut oe e ter's one ca dtrmine h fr. w

pate on t go. is it bacward. H is hidg i hat It a sa ut OK o w we w wa dang wit a ale Thi i te i w ar oig f.

KARL: wod say ta's fres jst by loing at it. t loqite ist. Ya it enitely is

LE ast it. Gt tat reshnes Yo'l ic hw weet

it bcoes if t not to frs. t's exerince tat yo haegt to bild Wll find an e fe late a yulltast hw o it is Yo want to t Jst pt it yofingrti and ae a tate I wt ht yo.

KARL: Yu now wat' wird Thi i te seond time in v .

LE Gt yur iger i te a gt a ittle i o it. astit. hin yo it' ligtly wt

KARL: Thing t d efe yo ie' tic a figr i a loado shit. scks nge n hit



LE i yu tast i?

KARL: Yah I' k Shreded Weat.

LE Ya. t' a tt bit wet

KARL: m its like a wi tasting

LE i yu jut get h sell?

KARL: hats wy we'r ie s, isn't it W know its

frs ' s we an ml Tate bus f od

LE Well its te mbiati Yo need to s bh skills

KARL: ay the wre ils o sit and I blioed yua wnt Wa' hat' Cold yu t jst by m whattye f anima it is

LE wold giv it a go

KARL: t's t a kill to be u o.

W haed o oking f resh rhino o and saw giraf o trav. hi i th aial tat imses m te ot. t' thbt xamle f eotion to m, h act tat it gw it neck toh it rach or fo. e Neble woe might day oeto ongr ck it t ing ty . hy' b blto ok in a atti wihut uig ladr

ews ca i on h ai tat hy ad tacke te rhino byhptr o u ckig i shit a oring a bn a bitunary. y h tie w gt to h ne te i had beentanqii and wa tarting to w dw i it track. h

misi w was t gt h rhino in a pa whr it cu beasily trapt it te back f a big mtal conair and tesift qickly befe te gs state to wea f



Its waking was simila t tat o a iss-p ld fastmlig hm frm a Sunday ateon ink Th vt wo haadiiste t drugs was giding it towards th tck ut isth wat to take sm o samles He aagd to walk itit a tre tk hat was prft or it to st agaist witot lyingdw Th i's had eed prfety twe te anchs fth tree. thn vred its yes wit a scar to stp it stressingot. is was a ae f e t gt u clos Teyre wirdloking animas Its skin lok to ig or its s

Lots f ep wre te t elp, whi was jt as well as ittok ften p to str it vr to te truk. y evntuay

gt it i a oe it t a new area. We it was ase itsm a it anoye a gggy, like a ki wh's jst n to thdnst b n s. lly t ws m t o n s th otain goias Th joney t te imeta fest toktwelv hurs og upy ads I spnt y tie sleeping awatching th l s n he it gt mys i th odSigurney Waver pays th art o Dia Fssy a woa whdicated mst hr lif t saving gllas fro achs a

sowd te wl that tey wen't as aggressive as eolethught



hi

S

fOU ? Sk " f

After a ad nig' leep i a h at te g f h oret, wet of ur k to find te goria I ick eeig a glla a

i' oehing e am ai h wu a lik o d o Ihught 'd d i and ten or ak and l hr know if it waa god B ond hat, I adn't reall gie it mch tog.



DIECOR: Hav yu togt aot what yre going tsay t th vis whn yo'r ot hre wit gllas?How yure going t xprs it

KARL: N cas hat wu e wrg wut i? fIe -pan it te I' t rally xpressing what 'fng at h ie. e' ee wat ape I ea, diAtteorog pan it

DIECOR: W, fauy no He a-lie

KARL: i ? Becau tey said tat aot Astrong ahi O all step hing B h ha a lg jurney to temon at te oing w. t mstv en gig toghi d Bt t h nd of h dy it' or bt hgila, in't it st ilm it Iv n oana Lmey d tist o stf, and yo jut go, y w! go okat te had it' hat t f tig. dt knw,jut ee

hw it go Wy are yo woryig aut hat Yu d yurjo it, get it h tlly. No is exectig a gatse ro m, anyway are hy? vrythings n aidhat ca e a aut gllas.

DIECOR: W, why ar we oing it

KARL: jut anted to one . . We y ma di.



I wa okig ward t eeig tem ut I' lying if sai wast a little i wored aut waeig tugh te wos acoig fa to c wit a ig glla. he tigs a asiea u i m fa o. ts t a way wat to go, to ht. t wud't e god for Suzane havig t tell eole.

. ory to ar hat How di h diA gorilla attred hi'W ha e alkig or forty s inut wen Davi ur

gid, pit ot oe goria po He kw it was h po f aseack, a i's aways six t eight ntimtres long

DIECOR: Do yo av t tate it t ee o ar hya

KARL: N. Yu dt t d that!

DIECOR: Reme, hats hw L trackd te ri.

KARL: his i fres. dt hav t tate it Y can see i'frs. h a are wet. Wy are yo juping traight itm haig to tik y ge in i? is is what anoys mwih yo. Yo wat m t e lik Ateorog and get aclassi a eytig. at te nd o h ay, yujstsaying, Stick yur ige in a pe f it.' dt knowwhat yu wat anyore. m trying t o a proe inteiewhre and yo'e gig Toc h sit!

I w' lg br I w u brh T h diapeard W wee ag tog uh and we ad tcs rivr Th etuiam hat wa ter at h tat o startedto wa f o wondr ga idn't oe to walk ugt.Thy ut i he itions I was on all urs ha h time,a y ase f te hr ha.

I tat t an to My fet wre wt tugh, I wa gettigittn y inst, a ha a eadach coig on ae ai hdi hi wak te t ur tim a week Tikig ak, I hu



hae akd wy h ah wast me at if tat wa tecase.

Aut t ur n and av ket sayng tt oe trakru aead a spttd me gorillas a hat we were gttng cloe.I wanted to tp or jut a ew oet t hae e od, t hsa w ha to ke gong a te gora we tantly temv I ut agu wih is logic xcept on a w oaswhn e stop to sow m ore resh gorilla ste He kptsayig Wjst fe mnut away, and te fv mnutlate e wu tn anunce, W' jut sevn its away . twas lik whn yu ordr a a and al h whn t ast

trn . hey always say Yah it'just coig dw yroad now' t e i

Twenty ites late w we st trekkig. t wast gttngay aie, as he an was w ong dw I h lm watch goey Wae y ad t eal wt mt. ' lik ts if an sey wold hae ee as kn t sa te gorilas iit ha ee psig it dw lik tis. es way my mamwold ke t d tis I hre wer charity os to nip n and ot

o along te way ay, t sh n't a a o walkng Sh evnleav t t e d t ut te i ut.

I upse th te ole whn gong a sea aeage pies Teye not gong to e ay to arehy? ts lik tryng t wn a Willy Wonka gld tket.

Wd ear Dav u aead o u oig excitd a shutigsmtig y to fnd t was jst m gilla ht Ev en h

drctor was woie. was concened aut t ayght andhaig to make ur way ak i tota ak. ups hat wasone god tig aot all h gla it We col ue t t ndo way ack like ansel and retel.

I h e w dd tur aro. ae anunce hat mowwe ad gone ast h. wat hapy. Were at t e mevlv. Yt hre we wre eig otd y a gu o goraW wold av ette f jut tayng st mwe a

waitig f tem to m to s.Jst undr f os i a Dae to s to s. W a

aly agt wt thm Sdenly eyhng was a t o au. e dt wat to is te a to lm, e uh e



it sht Dae aid tat wd e cky i we got mites wihh fore thy tart oig agai Bn to e to seak agie a ute ut I ad notig. Nhing was singing t i.My fet we toing, and o was my ead, a te hught ohaig to d hat et tp was gtting in te way o m ejyingh oet Iv nee ee hat god at qot Th only ones Imb 's t ch t s y , its coi hy carry yu f i a h at ct into te rmli,cap and ret ot again' , t hs we ore tgu-twitrhan uu uts.



Th director t m I ad ha e os to hink f mtigto ay.

eil Arstrog ha tim to m u wih hi ne all st'qot as h was at on hi ars on hi way t h mon weaI' bee concetratig on not ipig y ase int rier andaiding was nst

I oked at h gllas. e ote wa at er a t figits kid Te ale silrbak wa at is own 4 eet away roh ote Tw ote wre igh u i h trees. watchd a teyung gorilla at gas uing it eet.

KARL: hir fot i w sefl. tell yu, we'e gonebakwars. We an't o ayhing sig o te. A w erd is stub h te nd o h bed I alway ik Geti o '.' ore tuble tha tey wt tes But,gila an atally gab tuf wit h and e hm.Tey a bttr t bt h sam as. ey hae ttea, whi w igt as we a, bcaue ele on't

listn anyor o tey To buy talking Te litle ear aego. ong am. ort leg

DIECOR Is hi yo pech Baue a o're digis dribig tei boy art

KARL: ah, I kw. ut I'jut ayig ok a ow whae age We ha ge lg and ort arms. ey

hae htr lg a longr as Why ha tat ape?

IR: Base w ont wng tugh trees ar.W hae oed

KARL: ah, bt lok at spmarkt sel ow Yo goto esco now, yu cat ah p So, we need longr asLok yo' t gig to gt a sp ut f e! to yoerytig ha bn said Soetim yo can sy it btwhn yo dt say ayhing at al ona Keatig said tatTee yo go



DIECOR: Is hat gig to e yo ne?

KARL: Lif i a llcastr' , h a said tat. Livingevry day as if it is yur last'

DIECOR It'jst tat tis is qit a ig et, ayue utig Rona atig.

KARL: Wh e an qot I on't kw an hrqot

DIECOR: Don't ute ayone, coe u wi yur wqot That what I'e ee ayig to yu

KARL: What wold yo ay if yo wr sat he? Whatsgig hrog yur ind

DIECOR: Let e . . jst wait. 'v gt wat DaiAtteorog said er to elp yu: The i or manig

a utal udrstaing i xagig a gla wih agila ta wih any ote anima I kw. eir sight, hirharig tei ns o sme i o siila t ur tat teyse h world in c h sae way a w d. We iv i tesam t f ial grop wit lagely erat amyatihis. ey walk on h grund as we o tog teya imnsel more owrfu han we are. hre waevr a oibity o ecapin h ua condit a livin

imagiatiely in anote eate' w it mt b wih tegila

KARL: sort sai tat.

DAV We hav t ae now

DIECOR: Wv got to go Jst one at g, Ka



KARL: haen' go anyig. 'v g hing hr. vle yo dw, hugh e ona Keaig li wasgo. We on' av o ay i wa onan Keaig.



ICKY: dit know hat I that te?

KARL: hink yeah So, hre' tat and, u teyvgt hmbs a tat and, u tei eet ar go.

ICKY: riant. u ae jst lik Attnbuh eyvg hmbs a ta.' Haiy wmn.'

KARL: N bt whn h pree ya .

ICKY: ughs

KARL: hy hit a lot Thre' anote act. hy'e gtlittle ear .

ICKY: p, OK, dt bow it. Qit wh yue aeadgh} Le's not get into to mch etail. et' not get tobilogical.

KARL: kno h trip was all abut h gorillas, bt kon v d a lot ore i I'e bee hre. v mae

a t o difernc Yo sortd tat ting ot f e t bilda ut I'e oe hat for tem

ICKY: p

KARL: 'v tught kid ow to rid a bike. . what

di I d? I ok f te ing and hi ates I sifte hati. a' anote arity at Wat e av I one?

ICKY: u ialy id te bungjup, whi is prettyamazing, csidrig hw aamant yo wer a hbginig abt t oig it

KARL: ut, yah, litn . I want to ii his tri and I'

pay te my we I get back a hn tat way i's al .

ICKY: N o



: N t mind Ta's what I gona o

: 'l o it

: N wana Honesy wana

: ti to gt yu t d it, a yuv ted it.Yo'e d t.

: N t . .

: h et wa . h t was hat paid it i yu dih ju. o di h jup, s ll pay

: know, t jut lik i pay . .

: N eas hn sold d soehig Yo dih ju I sold ay.

: dit d it! I idn't o te jm!

{lnce}

: Wha d yo man yo idn't o te m?

: dit d it.

: u dit d h geejm?

: m.

: Wha yo jut a ai yu did

: ah, ase yu a Stepen kt ging autit.

: ld on a ite we wee yo goa t myu didn't o it?

: Well wat gna ote tng yo ecas . .



ICKY: t I av s te otage f yo not jmig.

KARL: Yah, bt I got uke t pt y at and d hjup, b hi at ae ff, s yo can see e' t ald, s itdit work

ICKY: ig yo dit. Yu got a stunt ule. Yugt Lk to te ung jup a yu togt tat woldfo e?

KARL: Well e' not a dule i e? hat was te b.T ht cm of. Hs g gt h i.

ICKY: aughs Hae yu gt h footage h tat yowat t p in h sow

KARL: t's ed, bt it' no se ecau i hat camof. W, my hat cam o.

ICKY: Yu a te wt. ik o hs dmestciia e I an't en b agy wih yu becasyue o ues.

KARL: Well w ca slit th my te

ICKY: N o, . Yu ayig it. Yu id't o hjup Thats arios ot only av yu ad a mlete

twonk o yu hwig hat yue a cowad a a ar,y £25 on . T' ig. is is mybt ay evr. ut, listn yo aw te gora I' tgna get h fotage back and i's Lk i a fkig urcoat

KARL: aughs

ICKY: aughs



We we et h orest on o jury ack e paed abig ga itti at te ottm f a t jst of te ai roa. twas sitting hr lik it was waitig a bs. ypia

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I an't iagine any evr sigig aut a itish roa i apsitie way no ke teyv one in Aca o Rut .Amrica e to hae a oitiv attitue aot riving and haeh gs to it I m tikig o Stepenwos sg BnTo B W' or starte. 'e er gt i my ca a hught I'g loking for avntur. A 'm lokig ut or seecamras a oto. Wetminstr Co ae dg me oi ond roas han archalogist ae dg i gypt

I avn't alwy ad tee eligs aut iig hugh WeI wa a teeager my driving tt wa ore imortt tan ayote xam I tok. alway togt tat once 'd aed my

drivig te t ord ou b y ytr a I woud allyhae trl f y etiy. aye hats a it o te tp, t atleast I kw hat wut hae to wait any or at te u tofor te 21 to este Piailly wit a ia. ita wa teloa tt wo wu aways ask or h wit hr pram whnse wa oarding te u Yo hu aways h a wman wita ay! ' i ly what yo're hinking W, re wa t aay in te am, jut a ckt wit a fac awn it Te cu

was i te nam Mad Rita Scf andra was ally te,to takig u tee at wit in ag tufe wih clotes fmsonda sh and Jhn o te car hm wh sat at teak f te s hwig hi k to any wh a inteted

I ass y iig test twety yea ago It tk two attemtsI'e ad se c in tota, hree aking tickt en captwice got t it ging hrugh a rd gt, a e

ioed in ash (hat wasn't y fal). hik I' qite ago drivr. smties gt anoyed whn ter drier areing indcisie ut I' whe nea as impatit a e ade as one ha pised h or ke a contestt and hirzze on he eke nk v coe a t o m in tepasege at wih e ad as h elivred paes id oework v his ack a I s t sit on an emty ttl cati te ront f t ca a get tip f hi stms. ut te was

a ownsie to I h evr gae e a soewhre i h ahd ftn pik p pasege ag h way wh'd wat t go inh poit iti, so it was otn Uike t ak. e tighat sed t win im u m tan ayhing was if a pasege



aske to g sowhre a e ad kw exatly we h wasgig a e ed tee ev iles ot o town whrevrit was a th jst whn w wee oet o te dro of,h asege wu ay, ut next on yur ight er, mat.' Andhat wu o ads ha in. know whre it i! 'e brogtyu tis far wihut iti, haet I A be at tehinking, o tip ro hi hn.' e ad take geat ie ihi kwledge f te K roas H ftn is o t th tot,t wih a wsapr k mst o u but wih an tckundr hi arm W call it is shat nav udat

Th mst imrtant tig f e we ackig f tis tp

w 6 P. g w driig. e its msi, miror ignal aevr. als ads hat pak soe pa p koa kb an a ht watrbttle 'll expan hat late) In h e te y hing raliI' gottn to ak we I rach A was my riving Si, at at tis gae e a bit o tim to xp h lac, whSuzan Fedxed it oe

O te st dy wet for a wak anta ia bach Form, h ba i a lace t rax, bt hat wasn't te a in AWmn wre jogging, mn wre lifting wight oing prsus or sit-us Ee te ig ad biggr chst ta te inLond A t o pole lok a i hy' ha lasti sgeyto. t e os ight t . air eugh, if yo'e bsa but tat te y a can undrsta f gettigsgey. caught h o a T progae whre thi

prs ha sohing ald ir-elf isidtiication.Apantly its whre yu dt gnis yur ection i hmirror. Nw i vry ha hi b hn n wold allayone gy or ake any eessd abot ow teylok becas yu geiy wut know wat tey loklik temes. orted I at hik f any sitatons whre vha to know what lok ke. dt hae t fid me, baseI' aways wih y

Wile was dw at h ba gt a a fm iky abuttaking art in an atiity tat wa ouar wih t yoggneati v e I' a G b Tee a TV hwhat aked te raze a few yea ago ioing kis at a ig



sol wo l a t and av great lv a sg a aabut ow great eeytg . h ow oe ks' su uthng eay e ugs or pregnay, jst hw t coe we yuwak u wh a pt on yo neck It anoys me ow manysngng sow te ae TV now W hae t ay kdgrwg p watng t b prosona ger ooy wat amal jo. e har a kd ay hy want t b a bldr anciin br. Whn ws hi ls w yble recety ha to wat a wk ef a pme waavaale o tee jst an't nog f tem B f I wantedsm to oe und a d a ance utne my front o

hy' proaby b und wt te o



I gu icky ad gget it eca h knew I di a it odancig we a yoge oy oping a tic wa mything I e prform onc twie at te hpig cnte utmainly t wa mtig di at oe i my o. dtdance a u te day. e to many 1-ih remixe thatg on te twle ite. N wondr ug tated to eued i l I ned a ule o ecca jut t get m hrughone ong let a a whle nigt

#

B

xlr • /

@ " f �l VTck. it I wa i icky oie h nnn fng t aay a t o hagig aund or two ondon cn xct Riky thn wnt and t y it i th dt.I wa a xta i anote f Rky lm eetenn and mae it tugh te nal t i that . wat orgiay lanig on gong ag tog. ickycalled m u a akd I ke to hae a art a I a ut ten h a tat th cateng wee ong ork hpthat day o ai Arght I yu n twnty ite.'Tat' th t it aut ng a xta te i alwaygo.

My tut at te col wa a wman a Ga wo eme toeay know hr tf a eed aiate aut it. Whn wagrwg p ui on at y ol wr e takn thatrioy. hre wat th dget to y pr eUipnt Infat it wa proay y col that cam u with te ea hsh usicl w thy u te i a intruet. ur it

wa th only ol i te unty that taught whtlig' ten tat wa tky 'co many o th k we ig tthTh Peig At wre t ay wat o ol wa aot.Th man tag wa only ed once a year for th atity lay



a that was ajk Tere wre to ay kids i th sol andt eugh rls to go ro s mst kis only ot te d ihre or thre. t st'v te y ativity pay tat adSevn Wis Me

Bak in Sata Mica ail gav e a few ines t sing in fth nus thy wre rearsing It was Jm' y Va aleTh thught f it wored m I er no isin that I an

g g Umg r m hg ,reemerig wrs desn't o easily iter I y kw autthre songs ff y hart a ule f lvis songs uDra' and In e Getto a Ain't N Pleasig Yu yas and ave Sti, I ratise my lis t mp' a thn Gaisai wold als av t remr a a ruti to go with it Ihave nevr d a rutine efre My ancig as kid at th loa

soping cetre was asialy iprvis. let my oy eiewhat it wat t d. ut ail wanted e t d xactly th saeroti as th twety oter kids stage I rally on't erstandth oint f tis I evry is ding th sae a yu igt aswell just av oe erson oig te a Te sam ges forsyrise swiming Lt vry o thir on thing thatway th adi as ifret tigs to watch

I reharsd or a hur whi Gai kt riig to sile.

strugg wit tis Smiig ist my ace's efalt stting I silewhn m really hapy and y 's thats what y mut wantsto o So, remering t ut a fase smi was hard ail keptsayig Yo'r avig t pp s yure aving un! A thats whn undrsto wy 9% f te kids was daingwith wre warig races teir tt. f yo ive i a paewhre smiing is so imortant gess yu want staight tt.

A or later ter I was standing at th sie o te stagwaitig fr y cu I id te st part o th dance roti airysccssfuy tink I was a spit-s hind eveyone se,t I togt tis was OK cause i ayone liked teywoldn't iss aytig. was sort o providing a catch-u



srvi I ten s ff te tag to wait f y inging it.Bt a wa taig at te id, I reaised ' fgotten my hreeli. hre wa a wma te wit eadh talking tail and I tld e tat 'd forgtte my li ut se wa tosy t h e ot. gt a gt sweat m te ai adpatey ask al te pole aund m t el, t hy wrei tei w zones Uity preparig f tei nex it. And hn Iwas ing dragged ack on tag y a yog girl and ae ami Th word tat cae ot f y oh wee efinitely in tewg ordr u hink got awa wit it. And n I aked oh tage a Uikly as u.

Bt no one wa it v ta y dirctor was tellig m hwat t d ante roti, s tat h ha lty o otionswhn e wa iting h ia TV eri I wan't apy authi. wa proey drai and ha pretty u sd p all myskills i tat igle ea I coldn't t i wat e tod anoth take ecau te rst one oked to go to adAyway, I agrd t a to Evrytig Sh Do s Magi yTh Po It wa a copat rotine wit oa f a

mvet. he est o h kis sem to d it motly, wh jut okd ke I was tyig to omunicat wit te daf.

Afterwad, ail and te kid to e I was grat ut eedw kw ad ailed I was seless A dit lik te alsprais Ijst dt hink its haty Peole need e tl wehy can't o mtig otewie it givs te fae oe.ooy a e god at evtig. ut hat to e te

Amrica way eyone an what hy want to , egadso hir talet Tey a e te drea whic is ahr sayinghat 'e vr undrsto t ht If yure iving hdram te hw d yo know if yo'r awake or aleep Also, tesayig y wor yur dream are god



sing h sae aes o elebrae hngs ery yea s a banoyig. 'd pefer i if w we l ceeae igswhn w we n e mo is wold ge rid f ip�fdays lik Valene's ay we s n rsaans dule.I wu aso mean yud g Csas preses a yearund as ifeen frnds a faily bra i a freims.

I h sol asluy shared We had f a melalong e way Ro 66. oas o mels i Aea sem hae noely esigns or hs. is one ad oncee gwams

for ros wich ad h whle se�p ok ik a ttle uncilesa o eeees js confirm o m a rund os on'eay work uza always says se' ik o e in a wndillb und roms ase prolems Thre was no orne u eTV n and pce d hag proey on h wall. Wapapringwold e a ghae.

Th x ornig called Rky a o im ao y Gb exence.



: i yo sig a a

: Yah, t it wa anying ecas h ehasal it

was ay god, whn it ame t it wa jst to onh sie f te stag haig a it o a ai attak, fgot yword orgt my mv, a alls it rigt u.

: can't iagine yu singing I on't tk v evrhard yu ig.

W prr w Wln

't a tsfu

: Yu at whit ey w, to e onest, Kar Atleast hre ar wd t get wit whitlig. t yufgt h t a te ct o wistng

: N t lok .

: N yo an't wistle. ts patetic.

: re yo a Hers h t frm last ighthils jm by n ln)

ig. .

: , yu ca tell what it is

W w w. l ouyu wee uig a weelarw at aiu ps. t waso o tune

: 'v ee n hat emaras. Yu w alway ay to yu tat yo gie e anxity drem I ai

a tuf ecau o h tigs yu st u. at tie wh ha a a aot ig i a tot, a yo od te oa tee wa a ig adince okig at e haig a sit it



was exactly te am fng had in y a a that. jutwat t wae u and for it go away

ICKY: t h weid hing aot tat dream . . it not

particuarly uia ymo, ig? s I ftn oeh dor wh yo' haig a hit to any yu

KARL: ah, tat tru actuay.

ICKY: o onest dit hik ee was ite yohing

KARL: Well dt lik f Thats what its ae eae

ICKY: Woa, hld We yu ay tha's hat i's maeyu eaise rely yu ut kw yo dt lik fun yw ecas yue te mst joyless pr 've ee et.Yo kw known yu almst te year, a if yure

t aware o fat yo on't ke hn soehingay wg ecas hi i wat I oing wit ti owI uttig y it ituati tat I know yo wt ejyPosiy yu wil, t hink eone aready kws yudt lik fun i' tang yo hu ay hat its aelation to u

KARL: ah, t if yo tok sm else and ut te i

hat sitation hy wu t hapy eih. ' 38 'm onstag wit kid woe aeage age wa aot 14. t okdik sm dat o man ad wae o te tt A oman wit a ald ea a a ard i udy dancigaund orgtting ws to gs I ean if I wa a da oone f te ki d ayig Wat is gig at hissho Whas h dig hre? hat nev ape ina

ICKY: d



After seakig to iky, it tur ot tat my ving liceha tur p at th rection o th wigwa mtel s I oldaly stat y drive I was xpting a assic Acan caotig to ancy jst smtig similar to te thr cas 'ds snce arriving Bt that wast to e. ky a Stepe haented a Smat ca or m For pol wh on't kw what aSmart ca s, its sothg aot th size o a a wit anegi ev as smtig ee s ady ae snc par (a TV sow whre three idl-agd e wea a shtsa stonewas jeans).

Ther's U, is

a < fo ou" Lik ! .I wS d:,J o Som pomu bo u ! pc u r1n o

co the to Uj oUoU



#4f Di d

Formuld Cr Ie ad a it exeince f tis I a ormla 3 ca afw years ag a wot it o so I' proay ot estpad t aie eole on tis one. t was a eeie acoptiti iz ut I was wkig ights at th tie andI war tem e I got in th ca that was ettyknacked But tey dit sm ote ey said,u i,just ont ush yur luk. t yo d ontyu Yo g rund th ack a w tims and gt a it ckya so I ut y fot own t it a it o dirt te cawet i t a si and eed u smashing u th ft axeTey wet apy I wasn't e insurd

A ha a G-art as a kid It was otise, t yoha t gie a psh t gt it gig taty te

Britis spritr Dare Capell grew p th sae estateas m, so use to gt him to us-stat e lik asleig. fact, I ike to thik 'm party rsnsile orhis uture suess It was god traiing for a yog ki usstatig a G-art.

I lugg i my iPo pned my pa ps and ut th ot

wate ott under my seat. h eason tal wit a ht watrttle is f we I need to a a ee. find it od tat w gotto 2 a car sigrs stil an't ste this ole Teysti install cigarette ighters, en tog mst skes ary aligte a g copartments gloe matmets! Why isthre a aa esed for gs It jst es iplsimdes, desn't it Electi wiows are al ey i thardy ssa A yt one as thught ao ptyig thadr. yo stp of at a si stati yu imiatelylost ten minuts driig tim. Whi is why startd pakig aht water ttl. Pep on't really use tem in e tese ayst thy're great taking a p i (oiusly not whi iig



bt yu ca pll oe) Plu, tey hae really wi neck a cancoe wit pillag de t th eoir. ut crw th tp bak a tinu wt yo jurney. And yu we t beak dwa wr fc to p n yur ar yo ee hu till bwa o yu a th ht water bttl f t ignal urood, init?

W ay got Rut 66 a t be ht, it dt f aydient to th roa wa on befe but it wa go t know theaon wa i Amra ha fay tat. t' a t drig r tre tha r ee tarte te e aly anyote ar on h ad, wh wa jt a well bcaue y artca wa wig dwn th few e that thre wr. dt athr car a al a i te nti te wa i th tatThy on't all ca Te fat that Pri ang Lttle e

ette' ti, baue Cortt are ae And Prii only all, o te act h cal th ttle Cit kow wathd ak o my mart car. e way that ti car wamae a joney ke ti It wa eigned for o oh u



to se to pik u aqi on th sol r a te nip i t thdi t uy so coscos not ie 4,0 kiloets arossAmrica.

Ayway, I ickd sm god Amria-style sogs y iPdto get te a Rut 66 exprinc Fist u was a cotry songy Keny Rg a y'. lik sgs with go storis,a unt sgs a th kigs o this Thy're like litt threeminut oies. Ry' is aot a ex-sldir wos gs aknackred a his wie wo kees gig ot leaig hi at oeon his w Its ot actuay a eelgo song, t it's god all thsae

Viil USA �

' .Itsjst athr examle o pole ticking thgs of To m

it's lik ordrig th tastr mnu i a ps restaant its tomch a y te end yo'r t njoyig th last fewcoses and ty in te its yo id njoy. say skip testae, hae a dnt ai urs a a uding Tat'seugh

tepe snt m a txt as I was driig saying that shu sto

o t mt a lol woa wh was int soe sort f Nw Agthrapy. r hus was i te id o whre ay temid f nowe like tose s yo see in dcmntaiesaut s anding i eoes ack gardns. t ws qite a ighuse all on one el ut I guss and is tty chap ro he.I kck te o and was greeted y Va. sai h a utmy hand ot. Va sai Yo' a shake, t a uggr? Yu on'twat a hg exlai tat I y just et e and that asak was enog taks

h walk m thrugh th ose we te w a fwgrus o tt aot. We waked gt throg th husa ut t th ak we ter was a exas f og go



a tuwee lowing y. mlewe is soehing asciate wit mrica. remer watching a isoe oeae treet as a ki tat atur a litt film o a m otuw eig w dw ariu roas as a gop o kisa ogs hae it. Ca aot ra into it, a y now andhn it wu g log i a nc mtig efe akigf a arying on its joney t wee te wind wu takeit. eeme tikig it wud go to hae tang all otuw t chas, it it soehing yo nd on a uncilestat i Sut ancestr. nd it dest eay work wit anemty isp ackt eihr. eliev m, I tried

a tok me v t a lare o tt ll at andcuhi a a ew lit cand. e te xlai hat I wu joinig hr at e vnig dle Party pantly its a fm oRiki wich is a Japanese o stes uti

VAL: Cud parties a esigned ao mmunicationa oay-settig skills hat h u t ecoe or

emowred aund tuig and intimay.

KARL: ut, ang on haen't ee er long a Iewalk ast fur k and only woa

VAL: Y

KARL: w os tat wk?

VAL: er'l m wo Don't yo wan to udeay e

KARL: Well dt want to cud trages eay. wlong o yu ae to se wit h efe yo hav thae a cud

VAL: Yu dt hae to send any time, or evn av acud Yo an ay . nd tat at f te kso orpp to e le t say no t ak what tey at a ea to ay ale t say y.



: What s hi a ao?!

: What we o we we eet is g vr a t fagreemnts that st u a tcture f te rst o h enigs yo wt tue wihut eing aked

: ut if m sayig o, dt tuhig e',hy' e goig, Well wat a yu oing hre? Yuecoe e o a dle avt yu

: N aye yo'v coe e t ar t say not

sar t cud: dt d t earn t say ! Whats wong wihh eole tat thy at say no

Thapy i oehing I asoiat wih Aeia me ta hK. dt kno ayone wo a had teay aye it s

jut that hy o't tak aut it whreas yu read autAmrica nipig of or hrapy on a weeky asi a i it wera ff ming I wondr if it eas evys alwaysilig i Amrica o dy know yu anoyed a yue p ottng it all u. ack hm yu walk aro loking fedu and yur mat ay, Whats u with yu, yu isealesd and hn u talk aut yo wih tns ot tto e a pr and hn yo gt on wih yur life.

I tld Val hat a hg soldn't e wate a tat whSuzan ges o t work grally ta e te ead Ill say,What n te idge e , a sh g h, hrsha and ee in hre and a toato tat need sig' a Isay ers, s yu late , and ta e te ed 1 taped Valon h hue hw e wat d ut e it ik it. esai I geall dt ejy eig tap attd, a ll telyu wy Becaus

1el lik a dy f watr o if yo lap me

i's lik a spah i te watr rigt, so y ergy it kestartlig to m Bt if yu wre t toch m and hld y hand jut gie e a tt suze te 1 el cofte a rally in



h ow o wh I am A also a lot f ties we we'exaig negetically, pat big e own.'

I ut sm all-i-one yjaas hat Val gae e but I keptmy ca on I idn't m acs as to axed a lok lik was gae or ayhing I wnt back into h tnt e tecud wu b taking pa Va wa te, hggig anotewoa It at ags Tey we tuk tgte ke tw Koalabars

By ti tie or woe ha tur p, bt hey wre stillombee by te mn. ' sur Val' eat i i h ight lacebt a t o h mn okd ke tey we jst turig p or a bit

f: f w u uh l n vnfor ming

Welcoe to oncco Wai o o h Heat, Jsha reewhre w are etig lif t v I a Varie ill and I eelhurd and exit t b ab to o hi ace wit yu all tocat a spa togehr whe w ca fee e t ealessyexlore alesy xpres urslv easly g byond urcoft z t easly ak f wat w wat, to fearsly

say no t wat w on't watI bably ay t m tigs han yes and hink its pretty

easy t ay ayig y ftn ruires m oitmnt. utmayb i Aeia hy jut on't get a ay cl a a gt tped in te stet by as many charity undrirs as we d

VAL: wit hat, I ke to start h cud arty wit hno exrcis e way ti works is yue goig t t toh pr next to yo and make a reqest a te ut i:Ma I kiss arl a I kis o?

KARL: , .

VAL: Are yu s yu wut lik to kis

KARL: Na is okay, hank.

VAL: kay, ank yu A h yo wu as e hatshw it wks So, yu tn to h er next t yo ose



A and as ay ki yo? But yo j is t atallylok te i te ye and prati sayig no, a tak turs o tat now T to te eon next t yo ak, MayI kiss yo?

KARL: Can I kiss yu

VAL: N. Ca I kiss yu

KARL: ut hat aks sse o .

VAL: Agai

KARL: Can I kiss yu te

VAL: N. Ca I kiss yu

KARL: N.

VAL: kay Eeyone a sow o hand ow ay eoleassm tat wh w sai kising, we mat te svene laghs

VAL: noti whr we ak asmti aut reqesta invitation. togot th ight i oeone xtesa iitati r ut t yu, tice iyue eeliguncoftal. And iyu eelig mtale aye

i's caue y'r makig an asmtion ao what hatmans o y a ak h claity yo man ylip? eas I a " to hat A yo can gtiatut wu loe a kiss on my ead Ar yu p tkisig my ea?' yo hae rom tight t layA te ida is to really fee a eugh to o smotageos hng.

I at and ate a ew ree gaes a ad a drik ava tatsmoy ha ogt ag wh Val aed t pns apae W we en ask to wite v tes to urses. We



ha to wite wt w wold ke t har ro soebdy a etterhat w'd eay lik to receiv Va aked e i v yelfa if I njoyed bing e. 'e er eay hught abut it Idt ay ha any say in h mattr. m e and I av to ewih it Ie nevr estod it whn pol say tey a u tb Amria u to b Eglis i' not ke w ae anysay in h mattr. m glis ecau y da' tticles wer iEgla. f ' hae m ot o T anss blloks, I d eAmrica

Val th ake e i I elt go. t agai, hats a hard one toawr I hn I eel god Bt unles sm sieit cme p

wih a way o tnsering eegs ro one en t ahrhw d know if f god or ? e f Bt i ahatie, hapir prson was pt in my bdy tey may say teyfe ke hit

Evoy pa tei not in a tdy ea tat ad a hle inits bak. hn we tok it in tur t oe a tter and read italod I ick o hat rea

SWEET WLD CLD O HE OD I OE YO. OAR AGIC. WE YOU WEEP FAI ST ALLSON EART. WN O AUGH ALL THEAAS A PATS SING OU AE GACE YOUAR LO. GOD IS WIHIN OU AN D EHINGA S LO SS FO YOUR YES WIH WLAANDO LO O.

Th grop ed well imsed a ondetuiasticay, ming i and bati in apvaSevral m s o a simar style wre a ut, a thialy a woa got to read my lette ut:

ALRGH HOP O'R WELL NJO O IMEOGEHE A A HA. FOOD OU COOE

WAS N ICE AD A GOOD E. OO AFOSEL AN LE ME NOW F YOU ARONDNET WEE. C HEERS .



My lette gt t av bn a ot a t hrs, b hnk wa ae and to te ont. st tand by h act tat Iwold e t rev y te oer ay o te ote.Pesonally, I aways mak an fort we ndng tday cardto zane me am a da. ally o a tle od apem tat relates to tem, bt te lette eole wr wrtng atth ud aty cu'v bn et to any h was prsa toch te Hers a ard et t zan hrbrtday. h ere to te ecau tat' ow we mtuzan gae me 20p to uy es a ot chcoat whn I ddn'thae no m

I

c

& > p 0

lc &

9" \ M

\ s p

�Q

x X K

After h ts w ay gt t te cdl sag f te

ght Val went hrog th u



: e eo hre an e a tt isorintatig i'imortat t know what h gUieli ae. t basiay osdw to tis: ts okay to ke eole at a cud party. t'sokay to e attacted t eole at a cud party I' eokay to e ars at a cud party Yo' just not goingto act on it S tat ea i yue dlig ad yobm au tha's okay Ta' a eatiu tig tacknowldge. eak t yo atne Yo can exueyurs. a oe gaes Agai, its abut ig yurvice and comicating B i' kay to bm aued

Its not oy bs ts s -su t titntionally aise sexal enegy A hre is ifeehre. We o get utions he aot rctions, a tey ohapn o tm to tie a woe gt tem, to. hy'rjut u smar. ts a little or oviu men. o,hre' a e f isofort a wat we aiig f eis to e mrtale wit hat T ale to diage t b abto talk aot i.

At whih oint pol stated mingng, a it at longbor evry was lling abut h lo wit a hr. dsay oe f te we udig o hard woldn't e urpris ihy had a ki btwe tem w. N am nar m I walik te at ki at ol waitig t b piked for fotallteam Bt tat sit m i. dit a ug and if di itwold ae co o oeone wo knew m Plu, I gtigworm on my g. wt t t dctor' t gt it s t ndaske hw yo gt it i te st pae and e ai y rubingski wih tangrs'. to m hat westles gt it a t.

Val op u and asked m t ug hr proby ot fsymahy bt sai no Th anote woa aed m, a Isai no t e, a well and exlai hat if hgged one eson

hn h ogat wu oen a wold ae o start hggigevry, or stat xpainig wy hgged sm a not hrs Itwold e to opicat.



It wa te widt aty I e een to Soe pole we ico ugging each ote a tey ci. m we uggingwhi aughig yteiay. u to think it wa od wenpp i te 98 eld upwa ati we thy woldgate at ote ele' o to uy lati andwi oxe aake and th ike ut thi wa anote el. ' ha nog I tld tem I ad t ae, a I wanted to eat te tai wich,loking ack wat th mt conincig excue wit htuw lowing y otie.

I ike te ida o eeig a tnad. deam aut tem qita t f oe a Im not wud wat to ae thugh ing t wo ae gie th imei tat tepp a in to ut thy' t. nad g wethy want to g a un fm dy. We ua ike tomake ut w' in age f tig en we w' t Ago xamle i a ochta condcto. Wold teochta eay t know what to o withut te awaing that tik aut It wu t ad i h ayedth maaca o tamoine whit e waed th tik t e

de thing I h got hit y a on te way to th gig,wold it all ha t e cancelled ae h wat the?Tee a and alled Plyhi Sp that ha twetym a thy ain't got a cut. ' a unceaya th k wo wea wite gloe on th atia tteypogae

Th polem had wit diing ut 66 wa th way I wacontially tikig aot gtting t te nd f it, itea ojutejying eig it I wa teatig it ike wa nig thLond Maaton aid at th tie, it th ae apa hae



to ating a orag I' so busy tyig t t surt it own myT-shirt or to st th jice runing own y arm, I not giingay thught as t weter 'm actuay enjoying atig te boythng Th only tie ca reay ejy eatig an oage s weI' th bat but dt gt to o that ey e base thbiler rhats I try t r a bath, a eating a rang n tesowr st eas iter o, Ie ndd p otng for tangrinesthat tnd to ae a skn teyre apy t get ut f Bt okigbak it, I id jy rig throg ms and es fthngness It ga m a chanc t ondr thngs wtot haigto wrry tat was gig to n soe r r re trog a

igt, gt t n tac, bcau th wa noting andapart fro a rao sak hre and ter

oe pole ak it serusly but oters tur u dress as apanda I saw m r dress as a aiy bllok trase awaress or testlar ar. ma thught it wasmant t b gebb uarepants. li on on'sdckands or a w yas a od t a at own th radon th day f te arath Peole ap e as walkpast aryig ap as tey thught was ong a ty

r we I ws jst tyig to oe blody hus

I stopd t th oasa turist attrati, msty tostretch my legs, t thre was tat as stck i y mnd tebttle tr ranch Lik th girafs at ond Zo cold s thbttles withut nterng O i tog yo raly start t gt asnse f ow ee te lace s. shute h but one rpe

wh was a sam base it was te sort o pa that s ator gUe.Th trs wr ad rm safoig wth mta brances

weld , a t botts ad bn paced ke aes on ah



ra. e ott wre a ifet cours a shaes, and teywe vrywe I fat tey ha to ay tre wr loaso ttles jut ctte aro on te gro. r wen't jstttles hugh Thre wre o hpig tlley, rkn ty aswing mai a kid' g-kart roa signs, mta framrk ck a watering ca. t wa a tese oter hing hataied my supii. Wa tis te oe f an artit, or jut asrufy sd May e jst gt f waiting or h eyclig va t tur u.



Weer h wind piked u o di h is Te mtalclaked, and ah ott whitled a cliked o wondr h fawas ot. d baly ip to h eit t get soe apirinfor is eaach Its od ow sm pp like t hav mis Ee hgh e' coe to e in h midle f nowewhre he wa lety f eace and qiet e' ee u ratigis My ma id te am whn h mv ro Manchtr toWa Sh ut hale h snce, s h bght a wichie. ut hat v my da eta, s h lced it wih arub wind him. know wo kws wee e find teshing. e as me hit i e ose ta tis bttle gy ha i

h gaWa tis at aye. t di ak e to and lk, a it wa

itrsting walkng aro seeig ld ty 'd als ad as a ki. tfet a bit ke wakig und a ca ot ae ohing t o,smtig t lok at ut ha no inteti o wating t takeayhing oe it m I cam t te si hat e wan'tharmig any o weie ta pp wh cot hib.Maye it was just hi way f trying t eet pol gtting tem

to tp and wae in and start a eation. can't ay Ieevr d sohig t my at hat xesss e ke e ha ath ott anch I aways dcorate it and kee it simle o i'seasy t ell Bt hi guy is dig wat h wat He'exsig hiself wich is i by m jut as g a e otmv next dor to my at in on.

I got a call r Ricky telig e to g a isit a cotry fai a

li fhr on h oad He said ' gt to trav i oethinga it biggr han y at ar a wh Te last cuntry fai Iwet t wa at eaton Park in Manchtr a w yas ag. eeme it wa a ay ot ay a ha to b ael ating yjam ogt as wass kt anding it Te iglight was afea wo walk aro a aring a ni o is ha. hcwd oed wn tey ear te ngine had ee takn utTog row.

I td ut I wa going t v a onstr tk, owned by abk alled nie. was a tog�okig f wih a savdha and tbl and tatto is as a gs I d en hmte truks n T bt d nee really ero h



concept Why hae uh aie weel? It reminde e o theoeized oe Elton Jo we when e ag Pina Wizar' It jt in't atia to ae c ig weel Were d yo keepa pare? Pu, yu at i it wik Fit a get them repae.

Rnie' onter tck wa called aty oy. ie ufm underneat alaing caelly on it frame and hoked mya in tog te windw. A clung , tyig to hld yetire dy weight, I realie tee wa one eat ad nie haeaten e to it. What te oint o that? A trck hi ig and onlyone eat? oni tarted it u and the noie wa neieaeA the, a I wa aot t wig ak own to te grund,

ni lle aay at ped I alot hat myself hht wa aut to o a ciit f te tak and jm a ram wit me onit o I wa yellig at im t to ut wa et e he oldn'thear me under the ie o the egie Fiay onie pt thetk in a i ad came to a hat, a gt ot a Uik a Icold

I reck he t'e e a few gallon o fel i the 3eond wa i te truk. at' anote reaon I woldn't want

one the amunt it wud cot t wold e ta I tayedon f te hw and watche onie deoih a fw an Hedre at te a at high eed, jupe twenty feet, a laeon the. he cwd were ig it Peole ay Aeria ikecoig to Egla t ee te o tuf o they aet gt ayo thing in their w unty ut tey wold i hey topedcig it lwing it u.

#7J p �. U s� �Eeyoy de thi on't tey Wo eepig aoe

the?

ext day I wet t meet Joe He wa going t take me on theht or gld, wi wu e perfet, a I neede t find zane



a git. ally get e me t f tkn o y tri. e kesklac and rigs, t vry ray y hr jewery o dt se h pit f it Itjst sowing of and ahr hing toloe. Ps hs alay got a w ing wich i y y areme ta eugh or h amunt o fingrs se as. o, I t toy er higs hat a a it ore atia I ogt h a adm or Chrss whh hnk s f or usfl nd gvsme atifati ta a it o mta A it eae Bt if cold soe god mys it wu a nice rpri or hra it wu ma ore 's I eray fund it Plu it s f



Ah one t os apea t e.I sue th's a few tigs on hs s ta pol say

hy wan o d just ecas hy'v see it i a film Watsa #85? li mie tat Bildng wt a giagla d soehng sila t skny dpng g

whn was i aa I vsied te ot sgs we ppa dpig n d Du ojt lag wk p and 445a.. so I tog I giv t a g tikig tha y sewold ao. 'd liealy jus unk it te hlig wat whn an o la cam o ji m Tewe loas o h spngs ut h am t ge i mne ha shae and sto 10 away fang e as e iped

hs g hangng oks u and own as dkig aeaag no a mg f h wae I was p a ut ef tewae ha ev tued hs k

I kck t o f te tail we e ivd A g awih a handa mosach aswed He we a whit�hanwht ves lack jas, ots and a g ost It was Je

lokng ike e'd jus seped of te se o ie Th g<y y k : y < :1 m h. it i h h? man ow ftn an yu pssle t

e tld e w e w h gun Yu ve kw, s Ialways wa t I've ee sot a o whn was yng sev si hn I v ai a gun. d ed a g, ifsm else is gna g o a take a sot at m, I'

gna e pepaed, a ll ake ca oi fo he. e wn ogt ah g m nse te ta.



'

I av sn m u I yr vrd in ird si.aus aways r I d know wa i s, irs sm ous m as ar pracic.

Wa lik au s saus a asr sand is a noon rally ks why y ar r r vn hw y g

hr. wold ipssil o d sohing ik is sdays wih all h CTV or ighorho wa schms.I ik sp a ok a os saus. hr's a ad i

Lon. always ik ha suprs us av whapy slirs longr wn o a hrss as ims hav ad ir jo a nigmar having scu ah orss. 's og nog rawig a hs on aprvr mi scig u o s.

Te od pa a mmn is tha hy'v sopig h lis a sar pig thm nchsIs ary rs no ugh nchs r for h amuno living p wio givig m saus



JE: Do yo ke h ones hre?

KARL: eu

JE: W, hn yo dal ih go yo e kno . Safty's on. hats a A-4.

KARL: ah, I'e ea o h

JE: I et y hae

KARL: lody ell yo dt ed tis, d yo? man itsa nice it o gld yo'e got, t yue not at ik tatmch, a y

JE: I un. Gld gettig t $0 a unc

Bore e eed f on th sea f go e rogt o ax f t h o hn ut iing Tee re a ts oit and iec icluig a irs lam ro h 180s, a knharmica, pckt atch and o g ares.

JE: I' e ut in te mid o hre 0 mh oa a ind a pi o a aonia laying ot hre in

h detKARL g W' i keig i?

JE: I' a pi o hitory, man! ok tese re all unday long-aay ro any roas o it tells yu te as a f y ut ter payig haia, a tey

gt sht y nia or oehing, cau tey lost teiharmia



My ma wantd a mta ett, t my dad ut a stp to itknowing tat hd ke o jst coting it and os hata tty c us. e find nog pit tuf in hPo shp h like t g i wihut e diggig p ore rapEv time g und, shs ught anote od tig lik agnoe hat whiles wh yo wak past it, or a ana oe (syu a ee i, eat alf f it, a th ut it ak in a lasticase , a ig tickr o eles for te tot sat, a tea cuttrhat o wih a magiying glass attach.

Je te sow e a tt ot hat taine all te smapi f go ad o oer h at fw mts tat wre

wor coupl hud bucks I u s s s,wh wandred t o h traile, cot tigs, o.

ESRA a an gt sm o my ck and sow hi

JE: S, g get soe o yo rcks

KARL: s h apy jut laying wit rcks

JE: h yea e' gt or toys han yo ca imagi

KARL: hats iant hugh Ha to reak dt edattries Mt kis wat Xoxe.

JE: I' t gona giv hi a id gam ease hs

jut gona e at laying hat a h tie. hats is carhre poins)

KARL: What d yu man it s his car

JE: I gav i to im I gae hi hr a 1 ark , and gae im a 88 HO. ut tat ar wil o 0 iles ahur o I' gna take tat engi ot f it we h get a

little it od (gh)

KARL: w ld i e agai



JE: He' e. h lik tat car, so gav it t im Ikind f so im, yu know

KARL: Yah, its one xte to te hr. n it yugive im roks, h xt yu give i a ca

JE: Oh, h g evrytig

KARL: es g to sho?

JE: Yeah, h ges to ol. Pr-scho Tsay,Wsay nd Thay and hn a te tr tim eha wat ar hy a? T -al ati a T-agaes ut r ha tat wre ut in te h oingsm work er a the



KARL: Are he ay ter kis o e

JE: ot ey ay. man e' got a fw nd aro

hre. ot o thm are ler han hi and, y know, hyty to bo i aro but e tty go wit it. catak ca o hs.

Je i a bit k my ad in te ay h old t hi and t ast t brig my oe and get eyone f. can't eimagi e sing te ew as to call ot a pub mai, a e wold tack ay problem imelf Yo on'tgt any blokes lik tat, tee ay. hats prbaby hycrapheap haengist on TV any m I tik i' atly deto te act hat if yo tak sohig aat t t and x it, haraty ill ge apy e're sca t gie it a g.

W gt i Je d Bronco, a e said w shu d oeo-raig. An wit that e p is ot own a it h h at

see o h w vicle wa in h ai We ai foad I idn't tik h mant it itrally. wa in bak beighr all oer h la, sotig Is he reall no oteote ut e jut v along ewing a bag f jrky hatas so tugh e till ad a u or hi widm teeth Tntyminut atr w u p Je op ut and gabbed a ot o h bot a so dyaite. said e wa going t hm ow h cate big os in te cky otai to make anetra for a He laced a tb f ynamit n h ckhre h at t b pn a oway a hn w retat0 or 60 eet back e aed m te rile t sht te target tignite h dyaite. 'd say 'm prtty god wit ies I ued toalay win a i at h fairs on oiday, hi a allya conut I on't k wy tey gae conut a iz I nevrs coonuts i prmarkt y at ai. ayig tat right hn

I' av bn hapy wit a ct a it wu hav ad achang frm all h matI tok aim Fi. And miss. h is fm is i shck

m, as it a a t ue ta te at h ai Th fair



g y sht t Thi ha proe atg I tokahr sht. sed Bt ti tim luky, I it e ynamitexloed a bew a o in te ck fa Je te paked smme ynamit ito h hl ih a fs. We lit it and an. isas a ne xprie Te cot 'd evr be t oingsmtig k i wa tig grit on te o mtacaaa a a ki at ur hliday ap a tyig t gt a a aayas psible bfoe th owne ae ut ot uit as dangos tb ht.

Je ecid tat oldn't go to fa into h o e admae a it col av coased u ke te sog by Jimy

Da cad Bi a Jo (anot on I' b iteni to onmy iPo W tn hae to te rivr hre w wold bepaning or gld Jo gav m a panig dih Its baicaly abb is wit grov ro h m s yo ca sop p sftgrund a te se atr frm h rivr to as og te finegrav t ay gld yue gahred u is caught i te govsSos sip, est it W di hi or oe a o

KARL: at old yu o ten if yo un a big bi?

JE: A big nggt

KARL: ah

JE: I' ke it

KARL: Why?

JE: W, oce a te hr my' gone hink gomight av a ttle alu st Bt if nd a big I'gna keep it Ill k te biggst I vr fi. st as atpy, yu k.

KARL: Arigt hn te ec biggt

JE: Th scond bigges? Ill gie it t my o o h ak it



KARL: kay, h hir

JE: Sll it if its go eugh to Wat ik t o itak all h litl ones a ut tem togehr a te h yu kow, h real ma stf, lik e find gt hei tee a.

I on't tik Jo was hat ote ao oing i frohi go hting He jst jy h cha, a it lik y mahn h ges und toe Pund os a xfam mtione

ear.

KARL: y n own Rote 66 u?

JE: Oh, a litle it

KARL: u like it

JE: Wat I ike t o i go own ote 66 ay o hso highway ee in Ariza a go f h highway andgt on h dirt oad f h ie stet aue ta's heyu th pas to a for god, or yo find ld ca lddms . .

KARL: ut if yo' ju aing a day f tog orgt te

gld .

JE: If a a day f Wat wu I suay d? ut goa ok f an ld ghst town an ld up orsmtig. st g ot and relax, or cme ow t h a jst relax a o te li i or h ay, let hi gofihing

KARL: Qite a relaxing lie te, isn't it

JE: Yeah, sr, i' a god



I k at e means abut gig of te bete tack to e thigs. ha a be ith Rute 66 's he joey isaleay set ot f yo. ha a god time oki f go itJe. t's ike ates Lottery tiket ea time I soed tegrund there as a hance f itting the jackot o bad neerfo any Suzae's git cleary ast meat t be.

ext day I ear o Stehen.

STEPEN kno yo're fasinated by pepe ithdifeent utks, dieent ays o seeig the orlaltenatie listyes. s that ai t say

KARL: , eah I aays like t see ifeent ays fliing I case thee's e that sits e ore than te one

I iing

STEPEN Well tis migt be the one y [ on'tkno if e take abut this before but o failia areyu it te Ais?

KARL: eah, I'e see the aison d film, nes

STEPEN Yu sa tat yo enjoyed tt, igt?

KARL: eah, it as aight

STEPEN Well think e'e ste ut a litte teat oryu ten. ts seig soe tie ith a Aish amiygetting t gips it o tey lie ie. What is the nuber

one tig yu ca tel me abut te Ais?

KARL: hey'e just it st f basic iing Its like itshapenig yes ago



Ya. u coe fro Mancht, so yo'reue to tat

KARL: Well on't av a go It' ort f a oe imle lif,ini? Ta' at Iv n f it, it s sort o makig d with baics.

xactly and biosy uit a gioscomity b resptu Yo know, hy etiay ivlife ike it' till te ineteenh ntury

KARL: hat ld Ya yo know, hing av t aymv or h Amish So, it sold b interting,soldn't it

KARL: ll b gig i lik a ftur by ten? I a th tuf.

xactly, yu ke a man frm t ut

KARL: Arigt Well ta's fair eugh hn m hapy tod tha.

Baue Aeia i big tai aa get alone. hat

my hy anyway. ' b wit o wh liv lik a ldcowboy and was f to roa and t f dyait i hmuntai f Arzona and w I was abut t et soe polwh liv i a aea we vryone tnd its te nitnhcety.

I waked u t h amy' os It was a i wodn-butdtae hue it arming to attred abut utid Iknoked on h or hy dit hav a b but, hn agai, I

haet eihr. A b i a bit f an necesa iveti, to beht mayb hat ha hing to o wit tem being Ais.)I gued hat by choig t liv lik its h nitt cetyhre a prbaby a t o gagts ke obells tat te Ais



dt bhr i tuf tat tes u y e back oe. ohy hav ti gused not Iagine i smboy payed tea i frm e dhw it old be ke wsldt tem

A friely�kig a wit te staa Amis bard mutach ansee h dor He intdced hi as Kenya th intded e t hi wie Poy wo as earing abnet and hi kis Jsep oan tta, Rsana and iiMai, hn is a Laene. a oing to go iid, a it wa aeay ht ay, b Keny said e wa going t get m to o smork ut in is gardn. ask if tey ha any tan loti

Keny lok at e a tt uzzled Thy idn't av ay. hreas a bit o talk btwn ny Plly and hi ad abut aybegtting e oe aee or vinegar and te hy ffred a hat,hi sai w b fi. m not s i not aing stanloti wa t o wit thm beig Ais tey jst hink its toexeie. zane' am nev bgs any wit h tehlidays e'e e togehr 's se ays i's to xpnsiea h es u ikig it f u instad

I idn't want t ask wy hy dit hav tan loti, as Ionly jst arie a idn't want to sm rue lu liv in tetety-rst cety a taks to Suzans ma dit haeay ite Mayb tey e jut o f it As fo th ofer ovinegar as petty sicios o hat It osn't und ealhyd i? I d u eai on iee he I o bahm why vinegar a eti and apantl yo an u it

to alm own brns frm h i yu tap it on to yur ski Itamazing h many ue inega as. t ca em stains froclotig get i o mars on ga get ink f painted alls, andyu a en it in yo at to get ri f eas. es adient u for eey day f te ya lu its go on ip.Viga i o h gratest ieti f a tie.



Keny tok e vr to is gats whe wol hae a go atmking Vitally vrything hy eat tey prdc temes. wet ter hinking tat wold e xpainig w liv i tefut copared t tem, a yt it hit m tat e atayha goat' ilk Keny a Laene wre suri a aid i's alot ette or y han cws mk. Agai, hy're mat t living in h pat and yt tey know more ta o I watdig mch for y idnce.

Th yung gi taught e ow t get mk fro h gat ut wast to go at it I wa wried ' sqeeze to a and urth goat o t te gil get on wit it. h kid wre elping ut

ui a l, y eeme hapy enoug. hey i g sol. Plly taght tem m oe. ' gessig istoryles or stat wol e aier ase we yo're livinglik its h niet centy the t lea.

Keny hn swed e te tmates h was grwig techike tat ai hi gg and whre e prou eese. wast s wha a h us is aut Amih lie. o e nya i amy jt ed like a dnt aing famy.

If I ad ore i I wu e lik h Aish I wu go to grw yo w fod, t haet gt any a. We'rto we av to at fie fruits a ay, t ort ooining a waitinglist t get an alltet, I av oi t to uy it I amirehir se f munity, to. dt eay know my ighohat wll In at only kw tei nam co t pstmansmties pts hir pst hrog o o I gus it' ecas I

hink endy igho an ao tn int ai in h ae. sold g ot y way t gt to kw eyone tog. hinkhi is wy kid un it Its 'co tee ay ot eole dtknow wh hy elong t. w di w old go o and ayYur Tomy wa maig u a u tp , and tei antswold ea wit it. if yo go ro to a stangrs hue tcopain ao hir kis hy aways sem ore dfensie.

Th only tig te Ami dit hae, tat wld mis, is h

itrnet I u eaily o wihut V. ny ai h a hifaiy aret as trict a oe hrs in te ara h wut letm et tem, as hy on't aw T camras aywhre neah. was curis aut oth rle hy ad



KARL: What is it hat ight d hat yu wu ay, usoldn't o hat or We wut allow tat' Wa' tedifence te I ea, I k wv only jt mt, s yodt know mch aot e ut, say, I'e got a girie I not arid ut I'e ee wit e or svtee yarsI tat go? Are yu hapy h hat

KY ts pt it ti way e, tat wu t go. ut, I not going to t yu wat t d. 'd atejut h yo a criture f wy I eel hat ay, a te

y oud a o ho a is igh for y

KARL: What ust yo ao hat, jut I a try andundrstand

KY What pt e aot i? kay, Js taught tathn yo g tgte yo hu e mari ad ters aunion he. gus i' kind o lik hn yu gt ati.

Ta's lik a aiage t h ch o hrit, a i' aunion he a I gu ta's kind o h symo f uaa wi and te ow old yo ay? he's acomitet te, a a ti hre ke a oation or hchn to fo.

KARL: haen't got any kis

KY igt.

KARL: ts just e and zane lit st evrytingBh ork ite apy I ean w hae arguet, tyu mut av aguet?

KY a a, yu k w hae o diagremnts.

KARL: hats wat man it' te sam

KY Wold yo id raiing a faily ke tha?



KARL: d know Yo e, i's difernt yu becaso h ay yr kis ae ig. tes kis inEngand, hy'd b sayig Wes m trais ' I want aw pair o ses ' ur kis haen't got os , bthy'r qite apy So, kis in te eman mTeyre a work, hy stes hir paret ut, hy're hapy tey alway want soehing Wa tesekis sem ui hapy payig wit h gats a layingaund in te grass

KY igt.

KARL: t's eaie or yu t av kis, I tik.

KY ges its hat ki f nvironmnt d w ceatf ur chn.

KARL: ut its hard t ae tat eie, isn't it

KY t is It i. ea, as tim gos on yo know hymight ose not t . . hy ight choe t tep me intohat eionmnt. 'e gt amily hat ki f es hatlifety, so tey . . man w hae ur faily gahriga tey i, bt .

KARL: And y er hink, Oh, I wat tat! ant hatPlaytati, I want hat copte ga at tat ter at hat abu tat uic'

KY Well yeah, a w ty a keep te activ, yuknow Teyv got hir epibiti As hey grow p,hy get m Jst f an xamle at nigt y tiLetta am t e and ai ant m hes ady.

Wile y and avr wee attig Plly was insidcoking in te kiten. oe wu ay hat a bt ld-fahibt t ee it i't. t' th ineteent ntury t tem,eembe t also wked hat way in Jos hue. on't k



hy pole ma abut wo wo se tie h kitchnh en a ot orking Szan cok and I x tigs owa agai zan w moa and say shud h ut but hnI o e ay ' hp. p a wasig-owe tab in hdihwae, a sh ma at e. t des h same jb, a ise adn't av ticed se wu t hae k

Keny asked m t elp it te lughing We carried onchatting while w ork. as curios to k wat ny diih is spar tim



KARL: What aut relaxing Do yu k an ae Bv r oehing like ta? Wold yo e readmtig k hat or cat yu at t it

KY ik a hat

KARL: ae B. u haet had o Ja ondSeiuly

KY eriuy. it ki f a mytry

KARL: N it like a Briti aget He' an unrcoer . .He oe crie and . h' aro f ae yea .

KY t den't rig a ell.

KARL: A mie at a th lat mvi

KY e at oie? ike a real oie? hink it aome lon.

KARL: i y lik ome lon? Cold yu rlate to hator e yu tikig Wa' that ki dig at oemig ao? He hu e kig a o

KY a a I gu or m, it a enttaiing, yu

kno Bt th ateard at god id it d?

KARL: ut ang te.

KY it jt paig tim

KARL: Well ta' , initjt paig h tim t edi

KY ut aeard kind o f like a jut . kind f ile



KARL: Well t be hst, i's t a gat ilm, hat one.Tee a lot f better ilm yo wu'v ejy or hanhat Don't bote wit o one 2.

Poy cam ot and gav u oe oemae on jui achcoat brownies hn tok m into h lla ad ow eall h fo hy ad gw a stord Thre wre ja and jas oall sort f egetab ore egtables han 'd se in a tetim ' bn in Amca. ak i u take a ot for Suzaneas a gi ing as te go anig hat work ut Thy ai

I u I tok aar f gae ea erI tik h Amih comity a ding it ight, to be onest Iwas only wit te faily for a ht amunt o tim, b I hikhir way o life it e. hy'r living a te lif,unlik s. We o oes wih tigs hat tetain s for eminut and te soe tem i a cuba a repa h wihw stf Te Ai havn't all into tat trap I' y ayh bear tig at woldn't wk f e bcaue wen yue

ba big beas lok a bit aft Bt aparety h bard i a sighat yo're mar and sing as m a Suzane an't ariedI wut hae grow one anyway. hinking abot it, Szanwoldn't ok go in a bont He ea's to big t ar it ofbt Id e er les, as se taty be i h kitch, s thbnet hing woldn't be hat mch o a problemStepe nt a text.

Aright, Ka Hoe yo'v bn njoyigRut 66. We eta yo'v b etti tt bitb o vig, s wv aang a igt yo t seeh e o it o aboe. njoy.

I wnt t mt a ma a Greg at a aicra aga BorI' e intded mys to hi coldn't elp bt tice ah all airaft in th bilding, mst o whi lkd o ohy wudn't e seem ut f lac in te Ami vage.g tok m vr t one and asked if wat t g yig.



exlai tat I wasn't a fan o yig. en thuh 'e d alot f it for th TV sow its t smtig ejy ry u itjust ost see atal t m Te la e wate to tak eu i ha an ope cokpit, wh ha t exerinc bore. utthat wasn't a

Well yo' t gig to gt t rie n th seat tat mch,exlai Grg Yo're gig t e u te tp f th wngThatd b yo best iw.

Wat's te pit o that Airlis on't f staig as anotion f a eson. t ait saf Britis Aways r say,Sory a sats are boke but w hae soe staig spa on

th rof i yu nteste.' hs s just ore of tat tehman a has gone aftGg th pt said e' be ong ths twty yars, bt

dit wat t ea tat. t wis e whn ole habn ong tigs f yeas becaus t otn eas teybm copant. f e's so go wy ast h gt ajb as aprp ilot yt? r e wors, was h a oe plot bt waslaid f f sedg an ar hstss ut or a wak i-igt?

It's ridclos For days I bee sayig ow uh 'd loe awalk ae all th driig d ben dig. Snce aig th bachi A I hat eay see ay paets to en wak Amrica is a lace esigned or cas, t walkrs I at thy ares anti�waki that yu an atally gt aste f jaywalkingWes th g i tat? u a be tw nja or cssigth roa at te wrong te but its okay to a a wak aong a

aepane wng



ICKY: l?

KARL: 'm t dig it.

ICKY: Wha d yo man?

KARL: to yu at th bginig. said its Rut 66 I mhre W a a at yo taked abut ung juping ll er df s, nd I id I on' n d nyo hat It angru

ICKY: N o, fair eugh Bungjuig ta' reallydangros u t yo'r straped i or hi. u jut go phre and its ik . . ma, it lok wse ta it i



KARL: u haet evn en hat I warig. t deslok wor t it is. lok ke a rigt fckng knobha.It not evn ne la, Ricky. ts a rally ld .

ICKY: (sigh) Yo dity not gona d i What aeyur orie? it saety

KARL: ah If tis is a tig to o bor yu d, hrea all h pp wh a dyig to o i? Why sn't ter aqeu at th bloke' o hre' no uke ,

at t o it I on't ant t d t. tl yo I ddn't atto o it.

ICKY: t, Kar, hi gat Thi a be a grat eig th sow, hre yo' u hre a ig! A Juthizzing along Yo an d it If yu o it, yull b a e.Peole v tis

KARL: N n Bcau te iffre is, h leftEngand tis wast on h list It not like gt ee andhn aid I o't wana d it. to yo bore I aked mybag dit at t o ayhg tuid I on't eel bad, Idt at to o it Yu an't make m, I tld tepe Idt f ba . .

ICKY: N can't ak yu, dnitely . mjs

hinking f y. ull f sy i h moring

KARL: f at . lok like idrman a a unea

ICKY: (laughs) Well ll tell yo hat, it' a god job Ima god de beas I togt yo'd chik ot o . .

KARL: t's t icknig ot.

ICKY: u a

KARL: N



ICKY: istn integrity i eona. f yo're apyalking d te tt ih eole going u uk-ukuk! te, y know, i' u t yu I dt at yo t haeto e wit hat Whras, I k yu et p hr yudf gat at yur, hats all. ut I id tk yo'dproay uk u-uk-uk- o I'e got mtig elsearaged or yu Tis is maaig s w te rknow hat ke yo' chikn ot.

KARL: Nt arrassing I not ote.

ICKY: N?

KARL: Nt thed i te ligtest.

ICKY: kay. Well v gt sohig r yu, ai's cari ta aig on a tage with le trut e.So, okay, d tat itea ate. ut, eme yue gotto o one te ote I yu on't ji i and gt stag

yuv got to o h wing alk

KARL: right, hre i i?

ICKY: h ew av gt a te etails Lo mdiapinte t . . (laughs)

KARL: u ca laugh away a yu want. ' t hed

See yo late en.

ICKY: a

I tld te iet at t d te oter hig ut h tld mI hu o tis a ay oldn't ke te aterativ I sai d te jdge f tat ut e xpained it old ad m driig

tim t te ti if w gt to h h ting a te dcid Idit at t it, a te we ha t driv all ay ak toh aifi wih h ai e nd p dig a oldn't wantto o h hr thing So I ag to d it.



g talk e throg it. e exlaid te tght at iclimig u t ig once w ha take f as a Ill qothi directly er it oldn't e a to to u te wingdg take ff. aks Greg

I atied my ut fm te ckit t h ig a timh h grnd It wasn't ay a the wre alesevrye, a als ad to wat we I ut y feet as hre weak ot te wing wer I u ay g hrog hhllow r ga. And te e tok of.

O e wr aior, g od te la m togt wich as h siga for to clim u to h wing A

on a pp my head he cp nd h . as diicut to ate. t ied m f eg ki astikig y ea ot o th sun o on my ads a I' hughthrugh my pan te way p I wanted to u a keepeay cam a ot e ih, s Ricky and thn wu gtaotely enjyent ot o watig m di it. tokmy tim a cied u it oition and wa fcu ongraig h gt as I asn't vn hinking aut ow high p I

as.O I wa hr and tay, hre wa a ment hn

hught, m ing tis lliat ie, pa a uiet I olactuay ee te v o h orld as hat high p All wago until Grg eadd or h eae Diect. eerharig h egi orkig xta a. We ut av n oig15 iles pr . At his pit, I a my eyes sut tight, t

cold tl I wa pie d, a th o rsh to my had Thlast time had tat ling as hn as und at i Gl'hue (h o eer) h ung e pid d i a dorae as h ai it wu h gow my hair ack t idnt wk.If hat wat d hair grow a mn old hae rally aiylloks

Bak te -la I wa cramig ke a ying al, amy tonge wa apig aut lik a dg stikig its had ut f a

ca wind. ' t ure if Geg cold ear m ugh ecash tok e m ore a o and dies a teep climsit h sky In fat, it wa etty hard ounictig wit hi atal d tld m t gie a siga o hms-d at to



la but ing as 1 idn't k ih way p wa tat wan'teasy 1 tri a hmb-d, bt h tok e ahr lop-telop 1 trid agai, and ay g wbbled te pla fm ieto ie as a ign

cold gt bak i h okpit

O e' lae 1 ad to d or tety ites Te et mental at mi h it cold ae ha a boyhart attack u tee It was at hat mmnt hat Jaie ecid ttell m hat te eon wo invnte ig-wakig di wiledig it. t's t rally an invntion is i? ts t h Brev

mai or a blee =m• ut Jaie idn't rally

undrstand hy I was s angry becas e e u ong te

stt only a few iles frm h airfi. was kn t harabut it hugh

What was ging hrugh yur mind whn yu e p hre?'h asked

My ar, sai.1 t yo wa yu evr gt on a la a yu har Thi i

g yo ilot eaking get of.



Ti i e a a mae e rali ha i leBcke Li ida i ord I ik h ida o ing hrand Cany b Ij kno ill b havig i oriTll be icor izz rou mai a raehre' be eole hre o idn' really a g bu g

alk ino i by eihr a ae eon a e oe r amiymbr and erll b binee ing a o ob opp Peole are rking rugh hi li ying o joyhing a oer pp a inad f ig hir onhing

Soe o th hing e i hav ha a eiaabu h by becmig pia.

O I' nally clm on and y leg ad pd aking,Jaie and h re o h cr ok e o h aleraivexerince a Ricky had aked abu I a e anal rLeaer meiin i icag. f ' d i i u havivoved e arig eaer a and rap and dancig on aage oe i- uic in ron o abo 60 ha�aked

mn ao red i ahr panAll I a ay i m gla I id h ing alk



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Peole u to make jk aot m eaing tai ith Velcotap intad f aing lace. ey aid Vo a f kidhi thik i ong, a ki hae m time o tying oathan aut. dt undtand hy oie a ig ot itlace that cold o a nd p tipig th e teyon th ft line Velc old u ette O fate ite o un It' o th et ient f te tnty�it ntuy Wat' tang i, apan to m i t oe oieti ut I idn't ee u o th Velc taine ta.A yt thy ned it he on tei he o tha anye inth o a yo a to em yo o many time a ay

whn n Jpn whn nng os run ms temle yu g it. f yo' a ga man i apan taking mteaig yu e i a ut f yo o nded f tiep day. hy u loe t hae a Velc tap itea o lac.

Mot lace a a lage llection o lipe yo t ppit a yu et. n uy pa te lipe yo gt egneay till fo mone ele' t that ha nth ut oet efe I on't ke that feng f m

el' ath Seat on e a o fo it. h p teygie yu a uit at In all y tie i apan I nee a aty pai ik e get at oe it ig pig ea lpatfet pn aat on thm. hy e ally eige icou ith m lo d i oiey. A apteting te o 'm te agig into te lipe almem o and eaxed e etay.

Mot Fi i a a it i apan' iget motain. t aaym to ealthy pole h a to mch time thihand o clim muntai. ie o it ing a i ponhy i te act that thy onc o an aandd ia nei. o aeage eon det gt to a ia. t aitmnt f ole o ie in ig o To a t take a



piano p Ben Nis a te eae it, that sows tat woee itwas was mae f oney

Peole jst se t clim eetig tese days. Is iteause oil pone recepti is gaage i ost ities andits the only wy t get a signa

I oked onlie t see i this is ee allowe ad i isTeye een a ici eents on to f Sydney rigeOther ildings and towers hae state haig toextreme actiities t pll i the turists I' sure I read yuca w ay t te ro on te enim me ifyu wat

Te copay Wowt's wudn't ae ge itadistati i they ad ust thught aut it ptting thepik n mx cnte te rof. Pepe wold ae lape itu.

It's d hw u aise iers get to Tey always seeto e treated ke ees, t 'm se a lot f pepe ol o it

It'sjst that tey dt hae te time, as they need t e wkigto ay their way i ie. also see to hear me aut eolewh hae ied dig a clim than te ones wo ae it akThe ews normay eates a aiy eme sayig At least hedie dig wat e loed wich I on't tik maks dyig anyetter. early oke to deat on soe f y arite HapyFaces isits, t at no oint id think, at est I' dyigeatig soething oe

I'e neer cimed a oer muntai I'e one long walksaund te ake istrit, soetimes ge ta tey shud haeeen os gt lost. wak mst paes instead o drig getting te e. ca walk a walk a wak qit apily i



i's on at gro. cold uit hapy d te Lon Marahif cold alk it, t ig a motain i tughr han oingh ond aaton a yue tat ill hre' no wayot o it. f yo' dig h Lon Maraton ad yu get tiryu a jm a s or ue te ndrgrund, ih Mot jiall I ae is my gs I idn't trai or it a dit hink it oldb ss. s wlk, nd I kw hw d . main hing I w d i tt treats to hr me u f we Ifet own I tok a e ag f acon-avur razzles cipa a ig ar o Cadury' Whle Nt.



Bore I evn let Toky airort I felt ibrati e my fta a u tinuu rube tugh te arva epatmntas h strute shok. ak a oa wo as orking at hsurity oint at it as N problem Mi ak, h sai.Thi was t be t firt f ay trems I xeeced while beigi aa Apaently tey gt aund 50 a yea I'e beeliving in Btai for year and hae y exerince a iglete, a it wan't u f It wa 9 W e onhliday i Was W didn't tie it at te ti but te calw repte it. h y idnce w ha o it apeing asa ornamnt alling of te mantepice.

We w a f o a p la. W oto a caf a e jut uttig te bgatory iper we hemloyee got uit aiated wit e abot m leaving te ooe N no, ' e aid as se uhd te o ht. e tegt m to was my as bore bing takn t h oreing aeaTh director to m hat it as a at caf The re abot 40 fhe aes i Tky. aro £ 15 yu gt alf a o t ava ff a tk m ats Te a tese laces exit i

base st pl liv i aatet we lalors dtallow et at ogs.

As if eg a coee tes days at copiatd nogihut ading me t h mnu ll hav a grae cafe attih gar-fre ailla and a big gige oggy ease.' Lukily,h hice o at wasn't an pti, hy er aly oaigaund te ro ke lap dancer at sm sdy bar. his is hy

se wa keen on e to cloe te dor te way Sh ditat te at t get ot.I' not a ba ea but jst lik oe in a lap aing bar te

cats ent to kn tuig ite and a aay hnev gt clo Tey e jmig high p on shes r nig itvarios bx ad tnels hat hy hav t lay i. dit knowat at pit te alf o tarted If its hn yo fe turu we yu st stoke a cat. ti to gt o f a big fat

gingr one. Gingr are aays fatter It as i thyreunhapy abot bing gingr a t to od I got a fw trks,bt it it hag aund for long It not as if 'm t go withcats a w ha las o hm we I wa yoge Me am is a



ig fan. e ost own any at h mmnt ut se ha a fweguar wild O is s cky it teas fo. da got iko it one ay aftr it stle a fu jam og ro hi late hsoed it i hi ar a oe aot ur , gt it ut te arleft it and droe ack oe. e mam wnt eta He aid, knew h wold Sh id h ae we ti t sam wityu A ew ays atr it td p ak at te os He wa tatimessd wit is aigati skills, h w t it tay. jstme arefl wi hi ogts

I a icky t let im kw d aied

ICKY: l. Wat yu u to

KARL: ut i a tt caf wit oe at

ICKY: Cat

KARL: ah, its a at afe If yo want a oe and a cat

yu coe h.

ICKY: hats god, ist i? Ta' nice.

KARL: Nt raly. itee qi it i, for hal an hur.Teyre not en frindy.

ICKY: Go yu, isn't it Stroke a cat it ing own

yur o ss It god for anxity. ue awaysst o stres and oig arund, and, yu kw tat jstch yo o

KARL: Well dt hat hilled to e onst. mknacked

ICKY: We xaty ta's wa I ean!

KARL: N t tis ist hig. ey not evn eigfrindy. hy'r t cmig nea me Yo ats findra yo know hw mc hat cat de m ha in!



ICKY: a, b hats base yu not frindyyurs. man yo k yu dt make an eort ayd ya? Yu aproa tigs wit a cetain attite. ustress yo'e mping ao tat' wy yre awaystie yo dt d any xris, yu dt ch ut, yu gtall angry .

KARL: 'd loe to s yur cat in ee I wu gt battred,h ay yo il it. onesty it wu be ik a oh kigig to a rugh sol

IKY (laughs) I aly d kno wha youv oagainst my a

KARL: t'sjust te way yu so it Yo assage it a htim

ICKY: We on't o it any me ta ay oter cat.

KARL: u d yo spi it.

ICKY: We ut fod d twi a ay It was aund

KARL: 'v se yo. u make a u vr it whn yocoe in assagig its bak o it s stres ot. C e,Ollie. I ot g anye ar m

ICKY: a, base yu a mierable bastad, andevry hman ing a eey aial ah know tat. mn, lsn y no! You'r i Jn, r lukiest man in h or but yo're hinging ase yudt d any xeri a hat bring yo own and tatmakes yu ill . . v arangd m xer or yuIt ake yu fe god, OK? t's suo Yo' i te oeo suo wrestng, so hink yu hu o it Teye ke

spsta or hre. es hing gatr ad orehurab tn bing a camion sm wrestr.



Wa / i Sm mh�

I idn't av t rgy to ag a I wasn't tat ss aothavig to tak part i sm ayway. v always tgt o suoas a spt or fat ol, s I woldn't av a prolm kig uwith tm Its god that ty hav sothing, as it's to asy : y r p y em n

I ad my way ov t w t suo taiing tk lac Itwas on th corr o a rsintial aa I o it jst fm tsund o thds and gts. okd tugh t oay to stwo ug sashing into ach thr ik is s ots stodo wati.

May it wsn't an arthuak d flt arli ay it was ono ths ig flas landig ti as. hy wr ig ks

with t traditional suo hairstyl that thy a onmag I an'tthink f any ot sort that atuay has its w hairo

Thy ust th mst unhaty sorts stars T was sig o mss Th only six-acks ts fas s a alyMas a amiy packs. At watching or a w mmnts thmain man oitd t th changing om aa I xpain thatI idn't i tking part t I woldn't waring h napy thatth th ghtr w. only sok apas ut I u t

just rat at hd sai th first ti ut shapr.Two um reler ollwe me io he chngg rom I d

th it ast hapy aot t loinclot thy al amawasi.

Th thing is on oks go i a apy Evn ais on'tlok god i tm thing is dsignd to ak y goda giv yo nc. Wht its a suit or sissmn or a

uniform or plicm ty signd t giv yo a fig fpw A apy osn't giv yo tis fig. hat s why thrhas nvr a su that is aot waing a apy.



I atally hght 'd gt aay wit not wag te apy, as Idit hink tey old av one tat fitt ut its kind f a one�siz-fit-a esign one ong strip f ateria hat i teap arund h waist a blloks. copained eaer abuthaig to ea sed a sprs. igs ha gt a lot we. let h ut it o m as long a cu k y ies onundrat. h yog u kept sayig no t ti reqest ahir bs wu not aproe. to te director thre wa no ayI wa going to a f tee s rog ca napies on mae wito proti Thinking bak it wa an d arguet tob haig. etally h o a agrd t et e war my

nde unahI eadd ut t te fighting rig he te o is coer in a

i dark il wich esue is f gi on te are et. We idsm stretching xrcis I wa aazing ow bndy h smse I at tuh y te ut tee llas ha ole Tecloer I got t tm, h igge tey lok. t as tim to igt.Th ida o h att i t psh yo opnt o f te ing ps tem vr so ahr part o hir oy its h o I ra at

my opnt an hit im a. dit bdge. H jut stod tilas I tried titing im It wa ke tryig t shit a arb ihuttaking te h ut t. hn slid e aros h o as myfet kimd ao th dirt. as o o th ing 1 t uo

For h next und hught I wu u y stregh t bathi. ca n astr and tn fat I anced abut te ring ihh iea f a surie attak ut h jst sto till. attacked

again. hi tim it a lik psig a matt p a arowstaircase. almt sfoat a y fa as lot i hi eats. had wat i y ye and hat mae it we wa it wan'tmy seat. t stg a ol aly kee my eyes oe t waat hi oint hat h piked e p uig h apy a a hand ah m abv hi ead It oked lik tat aic naturprgrame cene h a kr ha chck a sal pp hrughh ai. a httred I k m t hat it. e hae be,

eay. v e een it any ort I en payd swing-basitting own.

I gav i Thy wre a t ttr han tey loke. Wh at yh ie tey cari uig ea ote ao ke dg



bt I till dt know why tey av to wea a apy thughWat next, karae i a babygr?

Afterwad, once eyone had topd traiig, hy iitedm t . A fw ji uo ed to be in hag ocoking while te or sior rlax. e bloke wo aear h e lk a habag shwed me ro h pa Fmwhat I u mae ut tey all ivd aboe te ring i a pa hsms cale h stables. e was ahr wrtr sat gttinghi ai iled m te rsiet haire (tokoyma) whseciaes i t onmage Again ow any ort av aeidnt aidressr t mst get borig te aidressr wh

evry ha t sam style.W wet owtai we te was a asi sprad ai

The wa eryhing on ofer It was as if te frig freze abrk and evrtig ha t b eaten bore it went of Thi waas mch part o m a te tainig. hi is h sf hat makesh a big a tey ae Thy ao bat m wen i cae to eatig.After coe nubr fie I tem t nis.



W gt to te ot hre e wu e staying I wa okigfora to haig a nice owr as I tank f h e wat Igt to h ot etion op on y ai f iper fh ay and te receptiit hed m t y rom Bt it wan'ta ro. t as a asu It wa a caple hte. all oxes lia ior. e bx ig a aot ten acrss It elt lik amge Opned at one nd a contaid a mattres, a TV, aio,bankt and a p wit jut a bnd etn yu a tecord Tot and sowes ar sar. h t are aiyued by bsimn wo wk late, g f a drin a rahrhan makig tei way oe tay i a casle i town. climed

nd l l msr ol roll ub.I trid wathig T as hping te old be a sbtit

btton. m sed t aving t read btite a its hat o weI go a viit mam and da a e am nevr hts u. dthink btitles er iet te eaf Teye or pp witfaii wh ca t sto talking It was ht i te bi, a heas air mvet I togt I cold ll evyoy elsswatig hn ralis it wa te uo swat I il ad lingg

on m I eed p seping wit y ead stikig ut te nd fh ox jst to gt ligtly ore air I ut av lk k I wassm st f magicia asistat in te bx hr th magiciadrp a bae t h k.

I wate as t cuicles f u wit bsinemen bak oa night o drikig. e hugh teyd prbaly ha a e tdrink hy r vry ieat I elt to more trmors i

h nigt.ext day soke t Ricky h ai h ha organised mm xs I l b s sruous s s. l bme f a i n aftr ytrday's atiiti W haed tohre it wa t take pae. A uig ite. mae y way t thto or hre a te uds f te ite wre cngregatingThe ut av bn arund 1 ,50 taf bildr, electriiansa lmer Ty a got it li Ijine one. uic wa

hn pay fro a paker It was qit a ura sight, as hy alstartig bing a ttig execises hat e y teprjet aager Aftr h sort tenty�ite wk�ot a qik



Thy a h vnt aji tais (aio alistei) a mstcopanies wk pa a scho actise it. ups i' ago ida it wakes eeyboy u so tey reay or h ay.Mi yo te last hing e ed at hm ae ore a ts own a buejb Tey ae m makig enog cus otea te iut giving te m reasons to be gaping fora be' Yo wut hink oing oord i su tistyork, old yo? Whnev bues hav alld e ayinghy'r haig a b alay tik teyre going t ay,Te oblem is 4 own aros.'

Alhugh in apan to climb Munt Fuji wa stly

okng fowad o eeng gadg. 'e away aoadaan ih te te owing u alay watc h TV owomorows oldwe Maggie Pilbi old sow te ieerh ut in tlogy Evytig eemd t cm m aat paks acum clears hat wked by hslv andcopat dics hat old repa viny record and eiestrutible. st bit o technogy hat etred o osas h TV wit a remte contl. t ast a proe remte

contl, a it was attah to h V by a cab hat wan't uitlong nog t gt to te oa wich mant w t ad to get p,bt t wak qie o far I tik te mmnt we prpries ot wre invnted intdced evnigs o atchinghing u to te aines f jst ikig chanels all ight Thit T I rembr u aing only a fie chael btons.BC 1 , BBC TV and tw paes f te kely ent hat

to new an wre ev pned Twnty�iv yars late tea v 0 chanels, hi ea w g hrog battes onh remte ke tre' no tmr

wnt t see h bt A Adanced t in nvatieMobility) th rld ot amu uaid root I nevrhard f it bor hi oint. ta Micky wu hav ben too my list th 22 and PO. ort ircuit wu e haecoe aboe AIO but at least it as m along te nes o

hat I wa xpting to in aaASIM erorms to cd in a ar sho a tim a

day. gt the bit arly a k tim loking at h a.ormay hn yo d tis in a ca ow rom, sas ep are



onto yo ke i it ut arly tey' ud to eole jstcoig i to ASMO

Mui am ut o seake to siga h tart o h sow Ali cuba ned, a ut ae te ii-lla AMO toprform is shw wich incue a ki o 190 da,baancig fot a a run frm one sid f h tage to hote, b h wet ack to is cpoar t gt aged eh next sow.



I wan't ure at I elt at te nd I ea, it wa te est ootI' e n and e'e gt notig lik it at hm. e sste'e gt i oaly ny and tty te acum clears hathae aces on he frt Te difre btwn te to bing tatHery i a man ac and tty i h oa va hs pik andha yelash) I asked if it u o te rbt a, bt teoa sai it ut. bis i tha? A rot tat can't oh root ance! sups a rbt tat can i ey ce, bt Idt at t ee a bt nig. at te to o acrss asif teye in ctl f a itation. A root old nev av tn or a bs a eyhing old e gram t pfti,

s un ou soudn' ndd , s ' sbor w ae eugh dancer in th orld W dt ooti ones. ars ag eme manis aingjb in carmanuactures h root wre itrou a tey ork fatra eapr ha a, bt now it s h oots on't watmanua ork an ae tur t h etrtai indstryMaye tis is y hy av leaned t run its f we tey'late tei i in h ca actory ae bing t an X acto

auition.Th a t apae wants h oot to oe i tat

hy'r ting to get tem t take are o h eldry wh livalone. h agig ouati nes sport and tey cat y hmans to take are f tem, s tey at root at can haund te ose at a i chae han privat ca I on't tikI ke hat as a ida I tik thy old wk on bt arm that

ca b ited t ua. h eldrly wut b weak hn andoldn't eel ue. We e i a ld hre e need to utis, s hs l d In f, hs woudn' jus at h eldrly, hey ud b aim at eole wo ae uy o a handf pone e yo av Han o. a'hat I' ca it and ur it te tali Has FoFun and u Wk and ur Help . lik oing u ihida ke thi, a wil I was in aa dcid I old try and

cat smtig su I ut e go t coe p wit an idahat es on ate yo'r da mtig hat gs d inhitory Aer all yo' da a t ge ta yo're av.



a icky and ld hi abu my pan ie smigwhi in e lad f e innor

KARL: ok a Dyson e y cae u wi a nw acum

ceane ye es p e wih isei I reck an mu wih smig bee a ha

ICKY: , know e ure f aki is saf anax. man on' sups yo' gna nd a ef ancer or ayhing ike a are yu

KARL: Na a's inerig wih a wan coe pwih smig usu or day�-day i soehing a'eihr cee sme p or smig a is usu.

ICKY: ah, ea a ce or ca wu b usel andwold prbably chr soeone p, b yue iyhinking f igs aund e ose e

KARL: ah Lok a ha hig y am bugh a gnoeha whisl Wh'd hae og ayone wu habrog ha o, and wod ae hugh ayone wuhae bog i u w becaus ers s a eole ih wor ad ine shpig yo bg soehng o lika gm wiss wen yu walk as i and all yu is % h wor by i a yo' ma.

ICKY: ah, b hld on hugh, yu sed f hisconrsaio wih waing leae a gacy sohingusel chag h worl no ing o ne a mk fms ha will spnd i qid a loa f si Don' js



ty a tik m tat A isng gnoe? a' not anieti It' jst a istng gm

KARL: Well av it it e.

I nt hpig to se if ay gagt or sale old gie may res ieas. I ticed tey u bird noi intad f tebig noise ae at tra light, hi is i te ars,bt I olt elp eing o many b ele av bnn vr de t -yig afnc ying by.

Bore I started ht u a ublic tit as h otadad tilet Iv vr sat on and dnitely h i te bestconditi Yo' luky at hm if tee a sat a tilet ll.Th tot a a seleti f butt at te id ih iages onh but dit undsta hat hy at a ' er sh iags b Yo need to av h prgramig sk oB Gates jut t emty yo bels Te hing sold coe iha aal. t old bably b te y manual I evr a a

lik reading hn te 0 Th bttons als a rai f tebnd I tik ista f taig kid iret agages atsol tey sold b taught a I e're livig in a orhat all abut saig negy a boks ol ea e uea i h ark ich old in t sav nergy I Brailleevrye at ts, on o ti a on keyboard te yhing dt undsta is h te bnd kno tt te Baille ihre f tem t read in te rst pa

I at on. t hing I noti a te sea a arm AsI eti arl ' t a a f te armt fo slips hathae bee orn and a ar tit sat is ahr hing I ontlik, bt hi asn't ased by sm else's ar, it ha a bilti eatr We dt ed tis i ur os, as Im at it hatot it nee as a a to go co.

I it h fit butt A ise cae fro a pakr I hught it

as a untuned adi. late fo ut it as mant to sund likh uhing o tilet. t' the t cvr ay barassingis yo ig b makig. t dit sund like a uig iseit soed ore ik pp aplauig . e vrig o



emarasig noies seem t e m f a prolem er i aa,as a t o h lls a woen fram wit pae as a bnd Tisas h case i h tilet. ud tik it wu attat grafiti, bh in apa dit see any I tot at oe yo can't nte acuicle wito aig a i a sag' or all hi nubr fkno ati Mayb in aa eole are o bsy ogamingh tilet tey aet gt tim for grafiti

I it ah utt and ate elted my ar I oed to ehre it wa ing fm and it sht u y ack It was a bilt-inbiet ih bilt-i ye It wa ke an atoati ar as or hae. t mae e we i pp evr s hi t f it witot

havi o ole par. ide nv ra o nBritai I rst sa one oay i erife I togt it a isa es tot, e ae a th hi and hrs sink tey ae ips ahroms. te jst t s h bidt on oiday a a pato a and f my p

I topd ittig ay or bttons on h tot, as I waored hat it as s avance it ud e p eing e apizza Iv trav a t f te wld and its ally te

tot tat i aly asi msig a o in te gro. thre i Jaan he toet hav a highr IQ tan m

Wat wa ui god as hat it ha a ink v th ciste, soh wate yo ue to wa yur has ten ges it te cisten togt sed in te nxt uh uit a ionmntaly�frindy godida, exept or h fact tes ergy bing ued to wa teboy at p, o not hat indy.

I h toet in sea invtion ieas i a lage hpigcetre. fund lastic bxs t ary yur tie in ich eduncalled for. fund a sal ortab asy-t-carry ase canehy ose with haig a a arse. At at oint is its iptat to av sc a an ars I aying hat ke iisn't, bt it is it otesly an a I on't ae a ortabae aner I a't er imagi aving te os dig a eckRigt wat, pone key . ae ar.'

I id soe go tte gadgets hugh hat inclue a ripike-per It eant yu cold at cip witot gtting grason yur has, hi i god i yu laying gaes on an iPador smtig. Ad I a bught sm litt so a mittns yu



pt on a ay as and eet o hat tey ca mp te oh aig aro. sa h year ag i a ok ut teye eigned fr at ack hn. ught tem fr a ind wosently a a kid I tik i' a god ida, as kis dt muefl arund he ose year, t h chang hat I aought an eatig ar d, hih wa really go t avsince st

The wa a a ais o sma ets f eole wo watme ta a fite-mite tk o a cat in a af Thy oTip. hy'r o tiny raly on't e ow yu a as temas pt I ta at te glas ow for aot fie mnut ef

manag t see th sma reature. ud e ette f ying aaple tting it g of and reding m it lis.

I id uy ylf a pt A tag t Teye tang hing.Almst disaur-lik ih tei uge antle. hy're ayppla wit kis. ppla, hat as ell as sellig h insos hy ao l h i vnding aci. Agai, a it likh orta ae ane, hy ell tem in eig maisWy cat pp jut wait t te hp p Wha's h

urgency in uyig a eetle? t cot 50 ye, hi a aot £4.I' not ure i at te going rate not, as Ie nevr ogt aiect. togt I lay wit it or a wil a te releae it intoh wi we I t Toky.

By te e f y soping ' ha a fe ieas f yieti

A GGE LLWCASE TAT CD L TWLLW I NTA F HA W PAATSLPS. THIS WUL D M GETHER SHE N' MVE AART THE G

2 A SARPWEE TV RMT CNL WHEUT AT WR AC EM TH WINDWEGE T CAG.

3) EAR PGS WTH ULT ALAM.

I' keep tikig.



It wa tie to catch a uet trai and ha tws Mot ji.Bllet tains a eay go and run to h . hy ar iga roy, a ey eel or lik te ric yo get on a panewih regla ink and fod srv ro a troey. eaycoldn't aut it At hm we ke to copain ao h trai amch as we d aot h weath. t wa a relaxingjoy asevry espt a hr a idn't ak ay ise. e actwe av a uit ac on ur tai ays it all. had y ast ago Fazz sing my cri pike-upr It worke well.

ow, yud tik wh all h taellig Ie en dig hps ys I ou o hndl yhng fod

wis I hae got ette at ting w higs ut t od in Japanwas tog eially i yu not a oer o fih, whi m not Iactuay tok to aiding te trepils frm h edial ag wicha eigned to oh a nu e tats, I o hat hyknoked o my tate us eugh or m to get tog te odary eal so sckd one te minut efe techang t a noral aeiti, is i?



I'v br lob of he

wrJ " "J iL's omj heit L bc.

Y h Y"P . h 1Q b "

Thy sre fish constantly i aa or breakast, lunc atea. think en pguins migt a a m arid iet. dtknow what wrid e or eac day beig wkn p by

tes gong dw t ae breakast. e was u son th breakst tay yud tik thre wu b one iece tat Iejy but ter e was acig a sa sg at any tie o teday ist easy, bt first tig i th moring, I tik e aryls wu stggle. ate ey little ding tis ti. eyoneels was hapy ating fm bnt boxes wich ae nice ittlebxs wit sma martets wit difrt s s i th.Th way it ws dislay was ike a iece f t or a exensiebx f hnton's chclates, exept instad f a co cea idark ooate, it's a sqid llok wap in fish ase. t's t ama Its bait.



I wa taken to try unazsi. ts a elicacy, aartlyWeer sm say ti aways exect oe is ta'sboy tpid Traditi eem to kee iditic hig ae. mt aloa man cale Shin i a taant H ught ut h -caday in a we bx I remv h lid I in't ok toba. 'd bn aced wit we ot ay i I ee i aaI wa xpctig t to b aliv, hat wit it aving a lid on a 'vs tff h intenet we restaurats i Jaan sev livotps I mean wy ot y o it e cel ut hy payfor tat i a tat Te cef as d t t it

Shin exlai tat fazshi i an anciet prarati o suhi

hat invlv akig a ih lots o alt te feeting it foru to six yea. ix yas it ad een dad, a hre' ehinking it was ging to e ae. kon tis is gat-greatrat-reat-anons hae een eaten by now, a yt hi ist waiting to unch I u qafy a an exhiit onqe oadow

I ut it i y oh At rst it dit seem tat ad un I itit it and te taste wa released, a it' a tast at old nevb eleaed I at be any lik ti I tik hi is ionly till aro ' s h Jaas a to plit t ay it tatelik ite. kno tey say is nubrs ae but i h onlyotion is eatig tte o dad ' ate not bter It waslik y tast b ad bn mgge. Wihi 30 scond it cambak p, a I ha to u it th Japanese gadn we I wasik a bai tree.

I got t te htel and called th



STEPN Whats going on?

KARL: ut i apa, aen't

STEPN Yure jst anging ut in apa, ya andh yo finding it

KARL: t's a stggle. t's a oer strugg

STEPN hught aa was, sort o, yu know, hftur

and hing i t f pace age.

KARL: ah, it is Itjst h fod hat in't te fture. atesmtig tat a abo six yea ld e tlogy btboy ld fod

STEPN igt.

KARL: t's al k ill-oking ish, jut d-loking st fstf. ey make it ok ie it bught t yo on a nicepat, i' ai o ik a iece f art but ta' t digise hfat it desn't tast go.

STEPN What abut a te si oer hr?

KARL: ah, ell ta's hat I tggling wih Me tate

bd are jut going, What yu ating hi ! ey' tue to it

STEPN Hae yo e ha suhi b

KARL: N. zane wants to g ot f it, bt i' a bit eaIt abot te Ui a little saur f alm, I notprepared t y tat Ohr hing ta' a trggle, a yu

old strugg, hat iz ae yo ee?

STEPN y t a siz 14.



KARL: igt w, if yo wre he yo wut ale tg i ay rtaant.

STEPN What

KARL: eas yu hae to k takig yur shes of andppig slip on tat hy ply. tggl I' a iz10 's h ep are mar he I ot teyll haesize 14 e

STEPN Ya hae tat olem i gla Wow, I

tell u hi ate o'e e ptrae h oti ina iret gt, t yuv actuay givn m m gnuineiigt e oraly, yuv t hught it hrugh, ai's a ad o lloks ut tis is gnuine tughtustf. ne o te hing as qite kee for yo to o,aue know tat aa a e uit trsl its a vrysy lace a yuv gt to e in h ight am o minday to g to smwer as siital and aig and

atifl a editatie a unt uji, so 'v araged oryu t eet wit a Ze dhit k a atamaow, a yu amiar ih Ze Bdhim at a?

KARL: m, t that mch

STEPN Well te sort o mindet ehind Ze Bdhimis to ki f eta te maig f e dirctly itot

gtting ogg own y gia or atia togt yittalis y pisohy and . I k yo' tit any tat are yo u ont se logic yo ont satia togt hspy, yu not a intellectual . . tcold erct yo.

KARL: ah, I upse so

STEPN rat w hp it sort ojut gets yu in teight am o mind for Munt Fuji



I wa wit eetig Ze dh.

-

Od , hat If h wat to mt e to, hn 'm u fi but hju ong t ut o plie dt h

pit, a a nice a e el i m gt o h tthaig t mt tage a te te. t lik lang hp o Sata i a gott b a ea o. P a tedlik ak h qeion, b w ae iize ABax f ta. eaie t ee ha bankmanag.

Aft lokg p wh pole want o eet im ao eathat te aai Laa wa und b Tbea onk wen h

wa wo a o. e onk ted h o if e wa tencanation h het Daa ama He a he, a ad hical at ta h mk we lokigf ch a ml in ai pa and long a. a wa



a easy jb ntevie hm, ast it? u ne mqalifats t b a oo a Has ayone se versaid tey fell nto a job de t th legth f ter eas? Whatelse d e d try a glass siper He tok t thr atag fur a cam a mk at age s. as jst jig teDesprate Da fan b at that age, a yt hr e astying to nlightt

I tik it's aiy ote monks o lok p to im aask usts ik Whats th eaning o lif a Wata e he r becaus onks aret allo aess t teitrt He's basally Gogle t long as. e tig is

eon I' e an a a of si and h prott ro th day-t-day sht life ts at yu Iold b able t cm p ith anses. H ca d itbause bt s not once bee pt on hld by hs ntenetprovidr or ha t sort ca nsuranc try a ay orparkng sig th park and pone sevie.

I got t te tele e I as t met th Ze Bdhst I uton soe slipes and et atsama, h gav soe udistclotes to hang nto Iv aays togt o mylf as a bt f aBdhst. ty nt t uset any a I nev kil aythng, Isave any isects fro simng pos e ' n oday, Ilik ea a qiet . a v gt a bald ea. e thse y bag as l: gry n clo os and oy, a detpckts Thy ere lik pyjamas Ps t th sprs on t asa ok yu normay hav t be i hsital t gt aay ith I gota Uck to f te tp Smart pa ith a aigatmshre. ar als dividg te big space stless odnlos and bs otte abut Te pace as mlate andmnimast atsama as to se p a mv, h cold d itith carie bag

I' y bn te a f ites and togt ts as te

eg f e. Its lik o thy say hn yo alk it a oshn os htng, yu k it's th one. t son changdthugh I as ctig qite a relang morng, mayb digsm mitatig but tat as not t be th case. H ha



mpig h odn or ihin ten minut f eetig e.ow, I ee i aa g nog to know tat no lo neesmpig. N dity o vr toch te or. ven if tey eto av tei ose to g fo hpig and te emeehy had orgot hir ag e and a to nip ak in teyold til take tei hes of

He aed m a et rag o a uket and sod e ow thld te rag and ag te or i a straigt i as if uiga tiy oit g-kat

MATUAMA opng ceang s he o pantainig i te tp

KARL: huht we old t f relaxing, mitatig.

MATSUAMA: h

KARL: 'vt td p a yu ayig gt h

mpig d!

MATSUAMA: I' sory, t te main uro i t keepcleaning

KARL: Arigt, e was tis last cleaned

MATSUAMA: E tis ming

KARL: Well wy a w dig it agai Wat te pit ih ' ly h y levry oth wek a I wak aot i hre i my sheson!

MATSUAMA: To clea h o i iptant But tpractis cleanng is me iptant f s See t a ki f

tainig.

KARL: What d yu hink ao?



MATSUAMA: otig. bm h o.

KARL: o yo becoe a o?

MATSUAMA: Yo hav t iagine hat yu yef aempig h fo, yu n and yo an.

KARL: igt. m te o.

MATSUAMA: Yo'r h o.

KARL: hink e am ha hihr oes for m

to bht

MATSUAMA So, em, ut iagine ay, a otbapaye I yure ey go at otba, lik ney

KARL: oy

MATSUAMA: If h a kick h bal wit ea fot, hpractis evry day o it is smtig ke hat

KARL: ut I eta oing tis if yo'r a ane,baue at makes prfect

MATSUAMA: Yeah

KARL: And Roney, kikig a otba, baue e' afotballe. ' tyig to get y ea arund at ' mantto achie ro hi e a cleanig hi or wat aI eat to be ikig?

MATSUAMA: otig.

KARL: Absotly notig?

MAAA otig.



Bdhits blv in rincarnation. tink I k watMatsuaa want to e ming ak as. agree tt e av taknaay hing i o es hat gae u tie t hink ke wahingu and ironing, t hirts hugh, hy' hard t . ea telsa god a mpig is a god jb for tinking, bt not wedig it with a h I got a igt eat I olt car mymind and hink f notig a jut tikig wy desn't ehae a pr mp W in te land f te rbt yet o!Ist it h Bdits' isi t ree ie? f teyd get oeprp os i, ey'd hae or tim t cs o hat

After a hur s ort f oping e ad m raking hi gravl

garden hh i woud be eay he a he ieprfet, s e kpt redig h aa 'd aleay ne Thank oh ha a ad h hrise hd se alf te ay gettig isparting i a straigt i.

Matsuaa te intdced me t a dhit pz:

MATSUAMA: OK o I wu ik to intdc te ay o

hinking f m dhim Please tell e o ay tari te ky?

KARL: ots.

MATSUAMA: Lot

KARL: ah

MATSUAMA: B the i sing Ze awer to tisqesti So, as hink aot it. A lot i not te rigtawr i Ze

KARL: , s many as yu ca ih yo y. hatgo?

MATSUAMA: s.

KARL: ay sta i h ky Oh, hang o ay ight



: y' sayig yu have a prb eal hi?

: Yes jut go fora. atd t say hatpit

: sty if yujst sai eal ih yur problmI wu av ndrto hat, bt te stas hing . .

: So, smties e tik h pr i tomuc o s o . S, s x , f yhave vey big jb wk t o, smties e giv ubore e o yhing, g? o I want t say tat.

: undrsta hat, pp ca d it but tey dtevn try. hy giv p Tat at yu man?

: Yes just try

I uti chice we it coes to qesti, hn atleast yu ave a ae o getting h ae g. di a eatest a gt 83% Mot f toe utions r awred gtfeng My g em t know me ta my brai at tim. orpro i h fat at y bain togt it a a god ida t ute fnaz my m wa y oa cucd ou.

I gav Matsuaa a uzzle to ork , to wih et, What

gt wt as it dris idn't k te answr but ai h oldhink abot it

Fiay w gt o t dig wat I cam for. mmitation. tld m te ru. hught it old als be gofor atama t editat a clear hi i. ayb it old stphi fgtting tat e aready op u.



MATSUAMA: So, e it in Ltu way ke hi Sh pse i practising in editati i t an ind Forexap, if tis o is fie ih many lu it ay bvry trg or h big eatqak, bt if tis o is fieih any u yo can t m into h om Yocat mditat in th o o yu at d ayhing in teo. o, h vaay te eti i ey imortat orh om So om old ae o. t is h sae with ohart. f yo ae ey big truble ey big bes, yug ut or dinr ih yo ind h fo its is vy

:y h v rl n abut smtig yu ca t apiate h covrsatiih yo fid.

KARL: ut Ist oldn't go ut

MATSUAMA h really

KARL: ah, ealy I was tat bogg own I oldknow hat ld in eybdy ese' nigt o wusay I' not i h mo. ae a go tim Big m smpdig back I tat a t f Z way f tiig?

MATSUAMA: aughs a but hi is examle yua t apreciate oehing yur hart shu b vaatight? hi is a ey imortat urpse to b atiing

mitation to ak yur hat pty acat

He tl e that pst a h breahing thniqe a eyimortant and ai mst it p straigt a take o ore hato t tee ee breah ey inut I ha to k y yesloking taight aha and lea y i f togts a slowycot I wa jst abut to try and gt in te z en h sowdm a big tick tat i s t hack dhits on h bak by temate if tey i or a asp

He xpained hat te tick as f we I tart hmitation I w hit tis odn tick e and tis hm bell ur



tim. Ate ti hm bel lease d not eak n ay ccasiong? n if a msuit m smboy i ing, orhe i mig, pa o t spak ut

I' god t try and clea te ead It was te y thing left fmine hat e cleaing as h unazui ha ared my gt andh amunt o tes d bn ating ad clea y inues.My mind as to u gig in it and s sting ut Ihink its cloe t caacity, as I tating t gt a t o thingI tik hi i t cae or mst pp tese ay. Pp ue tojut need all ie tuk a frig dor ut now, lok ath iz o mst fig tey' masie I it t o or

od i' h m rminder The amn PN uma aunt nuber tck o dge oks like CarlVordran's be oing te nubrs gae.

Th hing wit y emy is tee a part o it tateembe hat e orgottn oehing bt hn an't rembrwhat it is Ijst wish it wu get te hing altgehr o Idt fgt me tigs base set to long trying teembe te ting I orgot i te rst pa

I wa aagig t kep till and uit I gt b o untighugh and wonred i atama a e idred digmie atit wk H u o editating wh aking myfm turist I on't kw wy w etrtai te iea f uastates te tt are bsy nog wito hai eolestanding abut gettig in h way Ie aways fnd it od owtosts tak htogah f im atists Eey lok ke a

mie i a pot.Th mitation di elp wit y inntion tog a it wa athi oit I ad y eureka mmnt. A te ti I a bn inaan a b aced wih ittig a ors whi i nefor a ort wh, bt if yo're ot ating it cold e w oe anhur I wondr i tis is ahr a tey a ore aancedThy o ls ittig arund on hir ar han we o 'co w haeto mch coft. hy'l get u and iet S e inntion I

cam u wih ws a trur wih a cuioned ase We on't needh a mc at oe a w hae ai but tll hink teywill hae tei ses od f eole at urch w hae t it onhard ews god or ftial ge wo ae to sit dap ga



as h cuhi ill ofe a ga eteen gro a ars, bildrson hir lunc beak, amle wo stp or lunc on et gas. old ae coe p it or u ut wa interuted y a athat ale and m akle wich caue m to i ali bit Matsuaa tod p, gt is stik and waked me twion my ack It rall stg. dit seak 's I togt thatold ad t haks. hught wd b lag ur has.Th ay h as caryig , hd e cky if h got clea fmansagter



Fiee minut atr e hit th ell and te ion a oer,a il h a proay imagiing ing a m, I ad coe uith y ieti Rlt

Matuaa ak i I u ik a p o tea. aid old loeone. 'm a ig a f ta. n pia oai it' nice t hae itot o a ot it oe tat or a ta cak, t m it fuyaut te ay lik it I oone ofr t ak me Ialy nd mtig in th rom that i te right ad orn that I ant my ta to atch, hi an e ifilt i tiday and age a r i not a trndy lor. th oldhae ad te rage f ron had fer in t

huehld A e nt fr te ta e er flle y eoe He aid thy ud oiing u. rat, init' aidWhre er ty e te oping ante dig'

W ha to etr athr ro r te ta A et trugh tedoray had t k on and a te make my ay toth ak. A aay tere re no hair ot ad tacerony t it f otntial cutmr or cuioned ant atd next to ataa. ne f te eld o th grp f mn

thn at y oe ot and uteni o hi oked like aang brh We a i lence and wache a he prepared emixed te ta dr. ey mnt a pci acalmy d a i e a alig a neorn ay. N ' afan o t rhing te aking f ta thre' thing or tana tea ag that at ha tie to r t thi nt or oertety minut Sh u ner ha a caf ning at thi eed,

a th qeu ol e ut te or. aye ti i y thy hacat ae Yo an trk te to relie th tre aued ypiig aut anging aro r a cu f ta



I wa gasping Matsuaa to e it ad takn h oa 25yars to a hs pro f aking ta. t ft e d en hreih e for a gd part o hat tie. wanted t suggt tatmay se needs t itch fm ta pdr to te ag t hsee u te pro.

The wa notig i h rom I u u t gv y sad orn wich was jst as We e oed it it y p, itas gree I a not a fan o green tea ut I idn' ay aitigahr 25 its h e ree a iffret ot Sh handot soe seets to go ih te ta or purig. u te haeto giv a ow

Matsuaa te wt tog tis prcur i cateeme ut invlv ting h u clokise tee otim and te ak a fe I wa ke crakig a ae. u hntak tie t enjy h dign f te cp w we inkig o.Th it was ti t drik. t as qite itt ut th wt hatcam ih it hed te tate O e' drunk te ta e sat andtalk ao h nd f ta hat lik. ipt, P Tis amy faoit, Twiing gli Beakfat. And Tyho, hat I

hae a ox f, fr h ue are und as hy drik tea nonstp I te ied atsama hat h ad t answred mydle Wat gt wt as it es dit kno I aked teladi at te ta eony Tey idn't k ite I tld temh ae; it as a ta te Th ar is aly jst t,t I togt d ke it in he wit h party hy eeed tik it I reay ejy h evnig inkig ta I tik it

exed e or han te ditation. t' oehng we te t at oe. mties I that sy oing tig else forgt to ink y ta wea it was all aut h ta hre. lik h ay it spak te sam laguage and we odient pats o h orld ut ta rogt u tgete I or hy wad p tog co Christ know ow g thattak tem



It wa te ay f te I adn't t w, a my o waeay rally ot u to me not ng ale t tur f th hattot at It wa a-wrd and f te wte em tohave any ft I ol av drd ck t, t wa o ht I laythre f o gettg tre aot t leeg kwg I ada g ay aha f e cmg unt uj Te wa a pat onh w wih ig of h p of n ji siig

av th lu pante on t. aye t wan't an aet Itcold ave e a pat ack makg o what tny a teom ha. thn te all lvng ace a what ake Japan okn t cat anotlogy Te olem I a wth alleelect tff tat t ar to tal. A ror can w wakt a oe and take away yo wo etrtaet yt nh oket Wev mae t ay tev Bg and havy

go. at' wy Sthng a not ee ke after all thyar



# i z th s V s et o v e

X� rs

ock . Ji ' \ ,I ike a nice et a ri but oldn't go all ha to Ataia t ee It te am atthre o a I gu oe eole o i for th manceb hat em ik a rall e, preditable tig to d. think it ca b t a mantic itting i te ar i th

g kg g ick cggt. bet th an't en gt aMca' at Ae ok

At arund 4 a I got p a ad prtotp f ieti I d tton and ta ro h B&B bato kita eed th b-u neck brae I ue igt t te back f

m tue It t pft, bt e a on it adite m m

It a a cc.I nt a ht ak otid in tem and at on oe

dapih grund ar a bonai t to tt te trur, a ell at fr h tag betle I ad bught Bai tree ae tin hat ae reall ifu t gro Yo need t are a teh dai. u it' lik h Tamagothi or th ldrgneati I nt ure at h re tog a itl b . bai ut t mak toit ro I ated th bt andro tei ate no fre fro thir bx, a eh h get o in thir lif I on't k if it a th ighing t o I' aa moig int tikig m eping h.We I a hlia ntl I a takig beetle o th

po a thught h r dronig but te bloke garig thpo ai th e giat atr bug tat fo i th ol anda apier i te atr. ha rmoe fie or ix f te o-inch



thing efore e to e o hi had gin e a naty nip Ioldn't really intere

Seem an d thing t a a aty aut ut thn I poehn ue p a day t celeate aak ge it faireugh to lrat a ll o Thi i a party teyl ehae in hin. t oted te that tey e e thmon at a, e i a fu mo In at i ia Ikon thy on't en thr yig a kite a tey ut a t e it de to th rap i te air lying lo Ikno pp oa in Bitai, and ay that e dt akaything ayme and all o actorie hae d a ot

thing are pru in th eat ut onetly ' at aea lu ky and hae t gt tf imortd ta lie in thdig geyne that tey hae.

Ride heworLd'sbjjes oLLe co ses

Riky ha let a mag ith te iea tat I old go on aorcoatr ie c to ot ji o I u gt a oe ie

o my tak in a. et on it and ate it and idn't eally Mot Fji a I ad y ey ed tight te o ide. Nt tht f -clim preparation e Fg de i it?



The' not uh t rit abut te ibing f ot ji. a a ittle ri e e re at te tat, a a ld Jaaneman to e on't ck ith ji.' Wa ti a ld Jaaneprvb Wa upd t take th or o avic rioy?Did te ie ld aa man kno mtig dit, or hadh jt a it a vlty �it Thre i a ute o GgeMallory h aid e ak hy e ie Evet (#9 on thBckt Lit Bcaue it i te ' kno hat e ea, a I oth ae i ther' biit in te o I I k have oei, I at th. avt, I go ithut

Th clim unt ji a eay t tat, th patay agrav and not ve tee ut tat caged o in abae roge and toge eciay i te ake. er aa tuk hp te ay p er I ogt a e vrpridSike a to k e gig. t a th firt tie hat myetle lg ae i uel a tey e hapy to cary alking a t tp ha o my bdy ozed



Th viw wa amazing, b di ay knw whre wasloking I's or iresing whn yu know a area and yulok u for yur os or a andak I coldn rally njoy ias, wih each s ok, i e back o my ind I kw I wub ding ha sp agai wen walking bak own wich issmig se a maks e Lon marah easi. ncyuve reachd e nish ine i's vr. Climbig oaineaig h o is h haway oin.

�Ci �7 Mun! Ee es�

Te main oble wih oain ibing is a oncyuv ad i o h p, i's no vr yu hve o walkbak own. as go o ake e eg f h jye abi as i? s like ow h ay dinr is i a ie

bi m e ao f wasig u a eds oing aeeaig i I've rad a eole wh ie wils ibingEvees mainly di h way own. o slv f eabv probls i wu b go if ey lok a igone f ose bs slid own a hy av a warparks.



Tee a lot f otan on ti t I'e ad tat eoleejy muntai a tey ke t g we not many elehae ee a ty ke to conqe Man gt te Tday a I wite ti tey' jut aid on th aio teyay co to ioeig te Gd Paticle' Te ciett

aid tat ua wk hd and anwe to eytiga tat o t wil unknown wich uny aIe jt gt of te h tyng t nd ot at wat timtoay th ta we'e ded will de and noone an t e. e m ha n.

I tte my eti at th uit y ttig ack on ig

co ck It wke a tat My ttok coldn't eel t cld atal. cam u wth th nae o th Pilk Pup Pant. ca wal ad motain to y t f otntial uye.



Eigteen hus fm aving te otto a s ak at teto and se Sicke as atr as ak I stat. yfet e killig m, as my tes ha e usig against hft o my shs a casing o istes e y ais tathae y just ared si ts later I elt sic it tirdnessO aye it as te see Snickr as.

We I got ck to te I ad iftn ais o Pilk PupPats ad p ad a sht stit a TV soping hanhre I sld te t. f tat tis as m f a flilligachiet t climing Mot Fuji.



Peole aways ak wat hae take m a my aellig a alay ay halt and saety I nev s t ee ote eaingh sae te ack o htel os t at taying i mprtty ogy paes I want t know hat t o i h orsthapns.

After iiig Bckt List tis, Suzan at t g saai in Aca. W tayed i te id o here in a ig tnthat a o ziped tance, hi mat a lion coldeasily av alk in. e a in age aid h hances o hihapnig wre slim ut to e tat dit ma it was

m ml : : f nj n nSuzan haig to gt into h all a at h ak o tetet I ad hr ractis sevral tim, s h cod o it asqicky a pssile i a on udy apear. e wan't apyhat u te fit alf hur o o oay akig hr gt i aot o a wardroe lik a agiian' asitant ut t mant sh wasprpared or h ort I atied gtting e ed hre thlion old strugg t rach e.

I h e i e cam i, only luott o a eahip hat lay tie h tet A cule o ight into te oaye u ha e gowling I et ut o h tnt t see a ieo eigt or ni . Norally on hliday yo ory aut amsuit i h om, hre w we wit h cast o on ngsatotsie. ca h managr te wakie-takie hy ad givu. cam d iftn inuts late and rught sm Masai

mn ih hi te tayed y u or h rest o oaydrinking h ott f oke fro o all frig I didn't ihugh a a ty ridge is anoth god iding pa

e uzane a got ak ro Arica icky wa alreaypaning sning m aay again. is tim h ad stsm else to coe ag ih me ow, if yo er to travaund te w, o wu yo at to take wit yu A sfind h kno yo w Maye oe w ca ring sm

extra sks to gt yo tog te ti? Well icky ad aangWarick Davi te a actor fro ta ars, o coe ag.Thats go ini?! Edund Hila ha hlp o nzingorgay e Fogle ha aistanc m aes rcknell. end



u ih a o. Sti it gae e a ae to tik f to orehing ro h lit

I art te ri ih Warick in Vnice a ok h roehat te prer Maro Plo id He a keen o ae a go on agoa m u ut di ge i one i nd 'i' h only ay f getig ao aig al ta tr i a rightpain i h ar. d er i i cud rt if tey ha teirgri ceard aie d t ear t im efr tey ca alki Vic I' y a god pa ie if yure a eraid

Don th ak rt it le uy i ik a h aer imre tagan. Vnice a eer ytm ohl at

o into h aa and i aed o it h o ti a ayih te tie

I id ti rtly ih Waik near te loite i aly I aa itle i on g a te o hing i kept i te air y a lokeaig a am frm a ga urr. d hae u luk eit coe to ga oir I a ored aut eing high pa ryig a gian pi ig t kp e p ter

I' a go md o ranor a long a yu at t g erh ind i gig a hat ditat yor eiati

Warick a e enjyd it ut I on't k o and hy ah coldn' e r h edge f te ake o h may a el an a in a d amer in arro.



Athr md tansort e sd, thanks t Riky as apsbike. Curs, I ad to o all th pallig as Waikcoldn't reach t eals s sat i a basket te ont. At leasthn di tis, h hed by makig th bike y easWarick jst sat tre. tel yo e ight b sall bt e'sboy eay

Tis sunds ik it u b a okay tig to d bt its teoi p a b ha a o he ay Yo'e allo t lok tem t raiings ap psts, as th cacois say they i t te lok f Plus bik dsigrsmake it ifl t lok biks as erything is uikreleass te eels a te seat can b oed realy qicky

ith no tols eed, hi aks tem easy t stel. iksa als rally ght as ll s i thy'r t loke taything a te-yar-ld an ary th aay. his i thproblem it eytig gettig smar a igter: th ypp it makes lif easir ae ties, emal mn andbaiifs.



Ie ne wated this eet as it ges on ags adsems t gt long ey ya. ey id oe 00 isw! dt knw why it as to b s long I ean 2,0mis! Thy sh o sme uie wk wilst tey atit. A t f spt is gettig ong. ut it own t th fatthat chans a to ay s u to teleise tese etsa tey wat lu fo y Tenis ges on o ages,Foua O sems to g on and on. Cicket is th biggstlaugh It gos s g thy sto and boy taTat is taking te iss



W ha o us a ds ut i te nd ad a go ti ithWarick It as nice t av sm to oan at a sar thma expris tat t tog vn thuh e addient oiis hat e sa and id, and again hgae a ne ay f okig at tings It ad m er if old ae apiatd te Se Wes m if e had malong it e

Vt t S

Wd 4

h Wd & 'Tick D tis. And t e hst ach as prettyundrhi. eeme aing Szan fm Cina th ayor I as to visit th at Wa, a tellig e tat Icoldn't really e oing it te Wondr part o th tips

Suzan to that it as spos to te iing th cak,t th to ith e is tat I on't ealy ejy te iing on acak I otn te iing f a ae it t one sid. e iing isjust the t gt yur atteti t oldn't say it is th st it.A thats h fe aot te Wondrs tey e te ras Iet travin for six onths in 2010 ut thy re er myfaoite it.

Th at Pyaid o iza is th iggst yrami e uit.

think at a th j easi is th fat that e ilding itcemnt yo d t ix it it sa and tes loas o thataund te yramids Ie sen th pyais and ty in a it



o a tate wit ot o te rndr ciped f. i i whathapn whn yo u to mch and i te ixTh bk wh i te work didn't wat t be ae a h knewh hat d a great jb o thy jut ai oe gzer a biltit. nce te am h Pyraid f iza.

I a rd a cam I cat b bthred going it dtai, bt Iwill ver gt one agai

Wo pt thi te it?! aw a ella riig an eehant wh wa i ia ad it ee te avantag I iagie aving oneo th i lik aving a big 4x4. hy ct a lot t r a it'dicut t n a lace to park it

I pt or ay in th Pervian ung a it wa te ongtweek o my lif I yu get bad w ro yor otr ikeyuve y gt a week le t liv, Id recomnd tat yo goit th evia ung a it that yove iv a ot gerI y lept abut tw hur a nigt de t th hat th ifrm te wilife I' t urpri thre are a t f notalaial a reatur in te jung thy av no chice but t beawak at nigt de t all th boy i I remr wakig u

arund 1 p wit toach crap wa avied earir i teday not t gt t o my tnt if need te a old e ugtting bitte y othig ike a nak or idr I nd phaig to it t a carrir bag I' ay that wa a a-time w in



my life There's no sch hing as a ag or life when aping inhe jgle.

I wu cae anywere Tey ip reay easily Cu yuimagie i h wu ave il a gia anoe o sve a e

aias e igh pe ased y a eaver a e woepane's speis wold ave een wied o

I aways surrises me hw weever e V ews covers asry ao sme oing i a viage yo aways see soefoage o a cal loke wih saved ea a aos going ownhe ca so for a acke o fags i a cae I an y presmehey w e on Bllseye

# & vTrk Ica Tral

Wa o reemer au e nca rai? esy Beig h ia kakere.I remeer ha he oe we saye in was so ig p i ha

oyge aks in e ro a yu ge arged r i yu se hem.I normay avid aking anyig ro hel rosfriges ue ohe ark-p he rie, ey really have yo wih eoyge ak. ha o reak e sea and have a g ake sure Iknew ow se i us in case woke p u o reh in e

igh I kw he wonder o au Picch is supe ake myreah away like is.

The day f e i p e rail was hard work. ' only eenwalking or hry ies a fe shaered Tey say ere is



hirty e n oxygen u the. No we I tik i' u all h o climbing hi ill o te we: re eole o fbrah=ore breahing= xygn. ipe

I' a to knw wat a te u i abut wih te ra Wal oia Te thig hat rid e te m whn viied i2010 wa ow new a lot f it ok. Aig o he gUiebokh wall wa heaviy tored in bot h 190 a 98. fhat te a, hn urely it ca cot a one f te Wondr fth Wld ca it I whn wet t e te aj Mal i Iia 'g hre t fid a w hue wit a ob garag and a gavldriveway tey oldn' ill ell i a th Taj aha, o wy i te

Wa gttig aay wit it? aid at h tie ta t Alight Wao ia i probaby a air dription.

w v kg v �lk wa m ke a lak I wa p for geting i it hugh a had ali bit f czema on my g and te u a al i upd tb go f t kin. v ta ipo ll abo i u ah tie and yu nevr ee tem wit zma hre u bm tt in i. g i h mudy urky a. wa hard

tand u i it a h dark gn lugy u uked yu in.aig away te aly wa at to ting all h ut ywi a knee ta Id got dg y tri. i rali I ad



s ay cts It's ike we yo y find ut that yo a apae ut we yu start to at a bag f sat a inega riss

I seed t be th yungst eson in th s. eryone selok to b i tei 7s, Maybe tis is why thy a it th adSea all th sitors a lose t dat.

I wnt unting with a tibe i Pu a cule o yas ago as at oth st seis f diand, let's b hst, it wast agrat suss. embe te tribswoe tok f my shirt,painted me wit r spts lik a path and pt m in a grassskit Th tibse thn tok m t te wods a taught mehw to use a bw a arow.

That enig plitely turned dw te tribs e t shareth hped odi thy cagt on th ht, a settled for abit f Sott ik that th lm rew ad brught

I' say th b with hting or fo is yu ae to d itbor yue ungry, otewise yo dt hae te negy, bt

the further adventures of an idiot abroad

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