the difficult choice of forgiveness
TRANSCRIPT
forgivenessthe difficult choice of
-Corrie Ten Boom
“forgiveness is an act of the will and can function regardless of the temperature of the human heart.”
corrie ten boom
Her family hid Jews in their house in the Netherlands. The Gestapo found the family out and had them sent to a Ravensbrueck concentration camp. While at a church service in Munich, she came face-to-face with one of the former Ravensbrueck prison guards. Corrie had just delivered a message of God’s forgiveness and the former guard, not recognizing her, asked ten Boom personally for forgiveness for the atrocities that he had committed. Ten Boom struggled within herself and found that she could not forgive him, but she quickly prayed and found the strength to accept his extended hand.
–Mark Twain
“forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel
that has crushed it.”
christina aguilera “hurt” backstory
Aguilera wrote the lyrics to “Hurt” in memory of her father. In a radio station interview, Aguilera said she was sorry because the last musical thing her father heard from her before he passed away was “I’m Okay”, as song about how she hated him for abusing her mother. She never got the chance to say "I'm sorry, I still love you" before he died. The grief caused so much pain that she wrote a song for him telling how she was sorry for blaming him for everything bad that happened in her parents' relationship.
“Hurt” Lyrics
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today Ooh ooh
I would hold you in my arms I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done Forgive all your mistakes.
There's nothing I wouldn't do To hear your voice again.
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh, whoa
Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand? Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself, oh, oh, oh.
If I had just one more day I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself by hurting you
–Alexander Pope
“to err is human; to forgive, divine.”
matthew west “forgiveness” backstoryMatthew wrote this song based on the story of a woman named Renee. Renee’s daugther was killed by a drunk driver named Eric, a 24-year old young man. As a result of his crime, Eric was sentenced to 22-years in prison. Eric was behind bars, Renee she felt like she was the one who was incarcerated. She began to do speaking engagements about the dangers of drunk driving, but she still had bitterness towards Eric. Finally, she contacted him in prison and let him know she had forgiven him. Not only that, but Renee and 11 of her family members asked the judge to allow Eric to become free after half his sentence. The judge had never heard this kind of thing and ruled that Eric could be released. Eric & Renee often speak together about drunk driving impacts & the importance of forgiveness.
“For
give
ness
” Lyr
ics It’s the hardest thing to give away
And the last thing on your mind today It always goes to those that don’t deserve
It’s the opposite of how you feel When the pain they caused is just too real
It takes everything you have just to say the word…
Forgiveness Forgiveness
It flies in the face of all your pride It moves away the mad inside
It’s always anger’s own worst enemy Even when the jury and the judge
Say you gotta right to hold a grudge It’s the whisper in your ear saying ‘Set It Free’
Show me how to love the unlovable Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness
It’ll clear the bitterness away It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace The prisoner that it really frees is you
I want to finally set it free So show me how to see what Your mercy sees
Help me now to give what You gave to me Forgiveness, Forgiveness
–Lewes B. Smedes
“to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover
that the prisoner was you.”
truth & reconciliation commission
When apartied ended in South Africa, the new government instituted a radical idea, called the Truth & Reconciliation Commission. This project was based the concept of insuring both justice AND mercy. Those who had committed crimes under apartheid would come forward and tell the TRUTH. Then, they would have the opportunity to have RECONCILIATION with those who they injured. By approaching the incredible injustices in this fashion, it allowed South Africans to move past the pain of the past into a more peaceful future. While their country has still had challenges moving forward, the fact that there has not been more bloodshed and violence is a miracle.
- Mahatma Ghandi
“the weak can never forgive. forgiveness is the attribute of the
strong.”
mothers of 9/11 victims and attackersIn hindsight, Aicha el-Wafi can see that the warning signs about her son Zacarias Moussaoui were present as he was growing up in southern France. "If I had known he would end up with this group of wrongdoers, I would have attracted his attention ... but I did not see it coming," said el-Wafi. Her son remains the only man convicted in the U.S. over the 9/11 plot. Phyllis Rodriguez’s son was killed in the 9/11 attacks. They met and become close friends. Phyllis suggested that things were particularly hard on Aicha, because no one has comforted her on her loss. Their story has lost a little bit of its luster, due to the sense from Aicha that Phyllis is more interested in publicity than she is in maintaining their friendship.
ruminating is not the answer
Rumination is similar to worry except rumination focuses on bad feelings and experiences from the past, whereas worry is concerned with potential bad events in the future.[1] Both rumination and worry are associated with anxiety and other negative emotional states
the dangers of rumination
1. creates a negative cycle that enslaves
2. increases chances of becoming depressed
3. could raise possibility of alcohol abuse
4. greater chance of eating disorders
5. can create negative thinking
6. impairs your ability to think creatively
7. increases our psychological & physiological stress responses that can lead to increased risk of heart disease
two types of forgiveness• Decisional—Deciding to not dwell on
the negative thoughts associated with the person who has wronged you
• Emotional—Fully letting go of the pain that was caused and forgiving the perpetrator. This does not mean approval of the act in question.
R.E.A.C.H. for forgiveness
Recall—Review the suffering as an outside observer, without resorting to self-pity or blame
Empathize—Walk a mile in the perpetrator’s shoes
Altruistic—Think about a time you were forgiven for something
Commit—Make a decision to move forward
Hold On—Complete the process and maintain a softened heart
ideas for moving forwardThe Forgiveness Challenge—The work of Desmond Tutu
(https://www.forgivenesschallenge.com)
Learning to Forgive Others—Focus on The Family
(http://www.focusonthefamily.com)
The Forgiveness Project—Developed by Marina Cantacuzino
(http://theforgivenessproject.com)
Learning to Forgive Yourself—WebMD, Dr. Nazario & Jean Lawrence
(http://www.webmd.com)
- Matthew 6:14-15, NIV Bible
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will
not forgive your sins..”
“Thr
ee B
eaut
iful W
ords
” Ly
rics
Three beautiful words set the heart freeWhat might they be?
First Word is “I”To Represent You & Me
Second Word is “Forgive” the thirdWord is “You,” It’s True
I FORGIVE YOUThese are three beautiful words
We long to hearCausing our tears
One has to be “I” to represent you & meTwo this time is Love, three is still you, it’s true
I LOVE YOUThese are three beautiful words
Songs• Christina Aguilera, Hurt
• Matthew West, Forgiveness
• Out of the Grey, Three Beautiful Words
Lyrics from Google Play
Sources
• http://www.matthewwest.com/the-stories/the-story-forgiveness/
• http://listverse.com/2013/10/31/10-extraordinary-examples-of-forgiveness/
• http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=7303
• http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/europe/09/01/september.11.moussaoui.mother/
• http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/september-11-attacks/8754107/911-anniversary-mothers-friendship-ends-bitterly.html
• http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/europe/09/01/september.11.moussaoui.mother/
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth_and_Reconciliation_Commission_(South_Africa)
• http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/forgive-forget?page=2
• http://www.apa.org/international/resources/forgiveness.pdf
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201306/the-seven-hidden-dangers-brooding-and-ruminating
• http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/05/21/the-power-of-forgiveness/
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumination_(psychology)
• http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
• https://www.forgivenesschallenge.com
