perfectionism |prfek sh nizm|

noun

refusal to accept any standard short of perfection. Philosophy/doctrine holding that religious, moral, social, or political perfection is attainable, esp. the theory that human moral or spiritual perfection should be or has been attained.

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra

Family interactions Media portrayals

Internal pressure Appreciation for the extraordinary

BOTH.

Perfectionism can be enabling and help one do ones best.

Atychiphobia can be a powerful motivator for some.

Or, it can be disabling, causing one lots of stress & anxiety.

Mistakes: highly conscious and hypercritical of Must always be THE best Procrastinates on work Sees the world only in B & W, no shades of gray Are own worst critic Defends against criticism-takes it personally Relive perceived failures Starts work over and over and over again All or nothing approach to life

Self-Oriented perfectionists have internal demands to be perfect and set high standards for themselves. Even when they achieve their high goals, these perfectionists have very little sense of accomplishment. Such people may also have high stress levels and low self-esteem.

Self-Oriented perfectionism is associated with depression and is linked to depressions severity over time.

Other-Oriented perfectionists expect their coworkers, family, and others to achieve the high goals they have set for themselves. Similar to Self-Oriented perfectionists, little sense of gratitude is felt when others achieve these goals, and poor interpersonal relationships may result.

Other-Oriented perfectionism is associated with interpersonal problems, including decreased social interaction, marital satisfaction, and family adjustment. This type of perfectionism has fewer effects for the perfectionist than the other dimensions, but is associated with maladjustment for the target of the Other-Oriented perfectionism.

Socially Prescribed perfectionists respond to perceived pressures from friends, family, or society. If Socially Prescribed perfectionists achieve their goals, they believe that others expect achievement at an even higher level.

These feelings may lead to procrastination or low self- esteem.

Note: The various types of perfectionism may coexist, creating extraordinarily complex sets of functional difficulty.

Praise child for effort, not ability, or success Emphasize personal growth Model imperfectin Provide opportunities for both small successes and failures Teach how to move past mistakes Model moving past frustration Teach coping mechanisms: relaxation techniques, breathing,

letting go of tension, etc. Talk about others mistakes Reframe the idea of finished in favor of due Teach how NOT to awfulize, imagine the worst then move on

Arlene DeVries (SENG) shares the following tips for perfectionism: Acknowledge that mistakes are opportunities for learning. Parents can model discussing what they would do differently next time after they experience a mistake or failure. Students might read biographies of famous persons, such as Thomas Edison or Leonardo da Vinci, who had many failed experiments. Consider the sticky note pads or penicillin discovered by mistake. Know that good things can come from disappointments. When one thing doesnt work out, it allows time and opportunity to try another activity.

Adderholdt, M. R., & Goldberg, M. R. (1999). Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good? (Revised Edition) Minneapolis: Free Spirit.

Delisle, J. R., & Galbraith, J. (2002). When Gifted Kids Don't Have All The Answers: How to Meet Their Social And Emotional Needs. Minneapolis: Free Spirit.

Galbraith, J. (1998). The Gifted Kids Survival Guide For Ages 10 And Under (Revised edition). Minneapolis: Free Spirit.

Galbraith, J., & Delisle, J. R. (1987). The Gifted Kids Survival Guide: A Teen Handbook (Revised edition). Minneapolis: Free Spirit. Greenspon, T. (2001). Freeing Our Families From Perfectionism. Minneapolis: Free Spirit.

Heacox, D. (1991). Up From Underachievement. Minneapolis: Free Spirit.

Hipp, E. (1995). Fighting Invisible Tigers: A Stress Management Guide For Teens (Revised and updated edition). Minneapolis: Free Spirit.

Parker, W D. (2000). Healthy Perfectionism In The Gifted. Journal for Secondary Gifted Education, 34, 173-182.

Parker, W D., & Mills, C. (1996). The Incidence Of Perfectionism In Gifted Students. Gifted Child Quarterly, 40, 194-199.

Pyryt, M. Helping Gifted Students Cope with Perfectionism. Parenting for High Potential. National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) June 2004

Schuler, P. A., Ferbenzer, 1., O'Leary, N., Popova, L., Delou, C. M. c., & Limont. W (2003). Perfectionism: International Case Studies. Gifted and Talented International, 18, 67-75.

Troxclair, D. (1999, December). Recognizing Perfectionism In Gifted Children. Parenting for High Potential, pp. 18-21.

Walker, S. Y. (2002). The Survival Guide For Parents Of Gifted Kids: How to Understand, Live With, And Stick Up For Your Gifted Child. Minneapolis: Free Spirit.

Based upon Frosts Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale. This questionnaire is designed to measure how much of a perfectionist you are. It has 35 questions and should take no more than 10 minutes. (Scale itself is scientific, this quiz not necessarily) http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/perfectionism/

Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (MPS). Hewett & Flett (1991). (administered by psychologist or other mental health professional). Examines Self-oriented, Other-oriented, Socially Prescribed perfectionists. ((scientific))

Quiz: Are You APerfectionist?Take The PerfectionistTest! (anecdotal) http://stress.about.com/od/selfknowledgeselftests/a/perfect_quiz.htm

The Almost Perfect Scales (scientific) https://sites.google.com/site/apsrevised/scales

The Eating Disorders Inventory - Perfectionism scale (EDI-P). Garner, D. Olmsted, O., and Polivy, P. (administered by psychologist or other mental health professional).