the challenge of expectations. we need god’s wisdom to know how to live this life god has given us...

The Challenge of Expectations

We need God’s wisdom to know how to live this life

• God has given us minds with a great capacity to learn and live life wisely. (Prov 1:7)


• Proverbs 1:7 - The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction.


• Our minds can also be easily deceived to the point we create our own “reality.”

• Truly our lives can be described as a battle for the mind. (Prov 4:23)


• Proverbs 4:23 - Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.


• We are battling a capable adversary who can take our minds away. (Jn 8:43-44)


• John 8:43-45 - "Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word. 44 "You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.


• 45 "But because I tell the truth, you do not believe Me.


• When we put justice and mercy as a priority we then will be testing our own thoughts and motives on the basis of truth. (Hos 2:19; 12:6; Mt 23:23)


• Hosea 2:19 - "I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me In righteousness and justice, In lovingkindness and mercy;


• Hosea 12:6 - So you, by the help of your God, return; Observe mercy and justice, And wait on your God continually.


• Matthew 23:23 - "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone.


• Have you ever been denied “justice?” Why is this challenging?

• Why do we need to receive “mercy?” How many judge with no mercy?

• If we do not build a doctrinal core based upon these principles, then we can easily become unmercifully angry with others. How many have become: “judge, jury and executioner?”

The danger of false expectations of God

• Many “reason” like Ted Turner:


• “Turner mentioned that he was raised in a God-fearing family and had a sister who was ill. Her illness progressed; she became critical. He prayed desperately the Lord would spare her life and make her well. She died. Then Ted told the audience that from then on he knew, even as a kid, there was no God up there. What kind of loving God would have allowed his sister to suffer and die?”


• Why not carefully examine this question rather than emotionally writing off the existence of God?

• Asaph, the Psalmist, was tempted to think like this until He turned his mind to how God works in this world! (Ps 73:11-17)


• Psalm 73:11-17 - And they say, "How does God know? And is there knowledge in the Most High?" 12 Behold, these are the ungodly, Who are always at ease; They increase in riches. 13 Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain, And washed my hands in innocence. 14 For all day long I have been plagued, And chastened every morning


• 15 If I had said, "I will speak thus," Behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children. 16 When I thought how to understand this, It was too painful for me -- 17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; Then I understood their end.


• Many rejected Jesus because of false expectations about the Messiah.

• Jesus came to rule in the hearts of men and not as a political leader succeeding in carnal warfare!

• Jesus knew that He was “popular” with men like this! (Jn 2:23-25)


• John 2:23-25 - Now when He was in Jerusalem at the Passover, during the feast, many believed in His name when they saw the signs which He did. 24 But Jesus did not commit Himself to them, because He knew all men, 25 and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man.


• These that praised Him so highly were quick to abandon Him when their false expectations were not met. (Ex. New preacher at church)

• Jesus true followers also had false expectations. They were able to overcome them.


• They did not believe it was possible for Jesus to die. Judas likely also believed this! (Lk 9:44-45)


• Luke 9:44-45 - "Let these words sink down into your ears, for the Son of Man is about to be betrayed into the hands of men." 45 But they did not understand this saying, and it was hidden from them so that they did not perceive it; and they were afraid to ask Him about this saying.


• It is better to learn from God’s word before you place so much on false expectations and suffer for it. Jesus worked with His disciples on this. (Jn 15:19-21; 16:1-3)


• John 15:19-21 - "If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. 20 "Remember the word that I said to you, 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also.


• 21 "But all these things they will do to you for My name's sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me.


• John 16:1-3 - "These things I have spoken to you, that you should not be made to stumble. 2 "They will put you out of the synagogues; yes, the time is coming that whoever kills you will think that he offers God service. 3 "And these things they will do to you because they have not known the Father nor Me.


• A good heart will seek God’s light and learn from failure. (Lk 7:20-23)


• Luke 7:20-23 - When the men had come to Him, they said, "John the Baptist has sent us to You, saying, 'Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?' " 21 And that very hour He cured many of infirmities, afflictions, and evil spirits; and to many blind He gave sight.


• 22 Jesus answered and said to them, "Go and tell John the things you have seen and heard: that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have the gospel preached to them. 23 "And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me."


• Satan uses disappointment to drive people deeper into darkness.

• What are some common false expectations with God?

• Many are like Naaman. (2 Kgs 5:9-13)


• 2 Kings 5:9-13 - Then Naaman went with his horses and chariot, and he stood at the door of Elisha's house. 10 And Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, "Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored to you, and you shall be clean


• 11 But Naaman became furious, and went away and said, "Indeed, I said to myself, 'He will surely come out to me, and stand and call on the name of the LORD his God, and wave his hand over the place, and heal the leprosy.' 12 "Are not the Abanah and the Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?" So he turned and went away in a rage


• 13 And his servants came near and spoke to him, and said, "My father, if the prophet had told you to do something great, would you not have done it? How much more then, when he says to you, 'Wash, and be clean'?"


• God will allow the shallow-minded to stumble. God will not submit to the proud man who makes demands of Him. (1 Cor 1:22-23)


• 1 Corinthians 1:22-23 - For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; 23 but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness,

The danger of false expectations of God’s people

• God’s people are not perfect but they are growing. People are not to be the focus of your faith.

• Some people preach themselves! They will disappoint others. (2 Cor 4:3-5)


• 2 Corinthians 4:3-5 - But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, 4 whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them. 5 For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus' sake.


• God wants you to build a doctrinal core in His Son!

• A woman who knew who Jesus was and knew what she dearly needed from Jesus would not be turned away! (Mt 15:22-27)


• Matthew 15:22-28 - And behold, a woman of Canaan came from that region and cried out to Him, saying, "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely demon-possessed." 23 But He answered her not a word. And His disciples came and urged Him, saying, "Send her away, for she cries out after us.“


• 24 But He answered and said, "I was not sent except to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." 25 Then she came and worshiped Him, saying, "Lord, help me!" 26 But He answered and said, "It is not good to take the children's bread and throw it to the little dogs."


• 27 And she said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters' table." 28 Then Jesus answered and said to her, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.


• Peter, while possibly confused, knew where he wanted to be while many others turned away from Jesus. (Jn 6:66-68)


• John 6:66-68 - From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more. 67 Then Jesus said to the twelve, "Do you also want to go away?" 68 But Simon Peter answered Him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.


• How do you react to hypocrites in the church? What false expectations cause some to quit? (Rom 3:4)


• Romans 3:4 - Certainly not! Indeed, let God be true but every man a liar. As it is written: "That You may be justified in Your words, And may overcome when You are judged."


• Some have false expectations of the assembly.

• Many are taught that all teaching must be “positive” and those that plainly rebuke in public teaching are “negative.” (2 Tim 4:1-4)


• 2 Timothy 4:1-4 - I charge you therefore before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at His appearing and His kingdom: 2 Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching


• 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; 4 and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.


• Those with a doctrinal core understand that proper teaching with create pain in those are walking in darkness. They preach in love in light of the judgment.

• In recent years the strongest reactions I have received from contrasting God’s plan of salvation with denominationalism has come from my brethren! (Ex. Reaction to the book “Muscle and a Shovel.”)


• False expectations in marriage must be overcome!


• Unspoken, half-hidden expectations about married life put wives and husbands to the test in the Realization stage. These “rules” form in childhood and our teen years as we watch our parents’ marriages and absorb silent imperatives about the roles of husbands and wives from society; from our cultural and religious affiliations; and from TV shows, movies, and books.


• Previous romances and even friendships further shape our expectations. And at a deeper level, we often believe our spouses will somehow intuit and heal our deepest psychic wounds.

• It is very difficult to work with others with false expectations when there is a lack of communication, mercy and justice!


• God’s love and mercy for us teaches us how to communicate and serve. (1 Pt 3:7-9)


• 1 Peter 3:7-9 - Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 8 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;


• 9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

How to overcome false expectations

• Make an absolute commitment to knowing God and seeing yourself as God sees you.

• When we become a Christian our hearts have been opened and changed. (Heb 4:12-13)


• Hebrews 4:12-13 - For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.


• We learn to value ourselves by what God has done and is doing in us. (Eph 3:17; Col 2:6-7)


• Ephesians 3:17 - that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love,


• Colossians 2:6-7 - As you have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, 7 rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.


• Many have to overcome difficult backgrounds. Consider the struggle of children raised in alcoholic homes. They have low expectations of themselves and others. They often rapidly discard relationships as the “live down” to these expectations. Correction is feared and those who try are discarded.


• Build a doctrinal core that you will not forsake regardless of emotion. (Eph 4:13-15)


• Ephesians 4:13-15 - till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head – Christ


• Build relationships with people like this. • Do not forsake them!• Our God will bless all who humbly keep

seeking Him and His ways!

the challenge of expectations. we need god’s wisdom to know how to live this life god has given us...

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