WASHINGTON HEEALD SUNDAY 2 1802 TRE FEBRUARY JJA

rA BACHELOR GIRL CHAT

MODERN IMPROVEMENTS IN

BY HELEN ROWLAND

r s

WIVES

After all remarked the BachelorGirl thoughtfully jingling latch keyIn her pocket matrimony I being won-derfully mitigated by modern inventionsisnt It Hefts an advertisement in thIsmornings paper of a selfrocking cradleand another of a settcooking range

andAnd now exclaimed Mr Mancynically If coukl only discover aself amusing husband

There are plenty of those Mr PorterAnd a selfraising childHow perfectly lovelyAnd a 86lfnaytnff expense account

The Bachelor Girl clapped her handwith delight

Sit down she cried making roombeside herself on the studio dtvan Ilike your mood today Mr Porter

The Mere Mans cynicism dissolved be-

neath her smile M the clouds beneath thesun

Of course be said sympatheticallyas he sank gratefully into the profferedseat its rather hard on you women

Hard on us Tile Bachelor Girlher with a tinkle of silver

banglesThis taking your Job out of your

hands explained the Mere out ofthe hands added with a sfeh thatonce rocked the cradle and ruled theworld

They never did retorted the Bach-elor Girl promptly At least not thesame hands and she picked up herbrushes and slipped on her studio apronwith a shrug of her shoulders Thats-a misleading old proverb she continuedleaning over to put the finishing touch onthe halo of a pink and purple Madonna

invented in order to deceive u intokeeping our hands out of masculine

The hands that rule the world andalways have ruled it the ones thatwear diamonds and number live glovesand polish their nails and are put incold cream overnight and dipped in rose-water everjf morning You never heardof Queen Elisabeth or ilrae Pompa-

dour or Cleopatra or Joan of Arc orNell G wynne or Boadfee or Helen ofTroy of Lucerexia Borgia or any womanwho ever influenced a country or a kingrocking a cradle did you If they hadrocked cradles you wouldnt have heardof them at all and she put a fine linearound the halo with a confident sweepof her brush

Oh The Mere Man clear histhroat desperately If you mean thatOwn are occasionally begutMed by anunseed unnatural dangerous creature1or that kind

I mean that they always are re1 inea the Bachelor Girl decisively Ifthey werent and she laughed softly

that kind wouldnt be dangerousAnd she added pushing back her bancleg and squinting thoughtfully at theInlo if it should come to a choice betv n being called a dangerous creature

r dubbed a domestic frump nine wo-

Uifn out of ten would break aU the cradto pieces and fling them Into the

lireI do believe they would exclaimed

tif Mere Man with convictionBut they dont have to retorted the

Ba iielor Girl cheerfully Thanks to theiirubitor and the selfrocking cradleand the French nurse and the beautysperj iliht a woman nowadays can be asdangerous as Circe or Medusa and stillmanage to be some sort of wife andmother

Yes agreed the Mere Man wrylyhut what sort of wife and mother

The very latest patent returned theBa lu lor Girl with a triumphant wave ofher brush The readymade sort war-ranted to fit any kind of domestic orprifti situation The sort that you flede trywhere in society and apartmenthotels and around bargain counters andall womens clubs And if she isnt exactU what your youthful fancy painted

must remember that its your ownfault that she Is what she is If shehadnt discovered that while the handtint rocked the cradle was getting cal-

loused on the Inside and knotty on theKnuckles you were off kissing the handthat wore diamonds and had time to keepItself manicured she would still be

Usefully imagining that the nurseryrooking chair was the throne seat Ittook a long time and many shocks towake us out of that peaceful dream

Shocks The Mere Man looked asif had at that moment received one

The Bachelor Girl turned and regardedhint loftily

Dout yOu suppose dhe Inquired in apatronizing tone that it was a shock tothe Roman matrons to discover that aso l if honor like Marc Antony couldMt anything in a snakelike creaturewith an Egyptian nose and rings on hertos and no reputation to speak ofand dont you suppose that its a newsh v k every find out that somemasculine paragon who has been writingi f preaching about the sacredness of theAmerican home or painting Madonnasiins gone oft and gotten himself tangledup with a Circe and overturned all ourtheories The trouble is and she turn-ed back to her easel once more that aman always has wanted a Madonna anda Circe mixed Delilah and a Gretchenworked Into one And at last weve dis-covered how to give it to him Wevefound out that we can keep the domesticmachinery running and at the same timetnaroel the hair by rocking the cradle

proxy and living in apartment hotelsitul buying the childrens clothes ready-made and pinning our faith to bachelorsbuttons and holeproof MckS But it Isntmuch fun and the Bachelor Girl sighed

there is nothing on earth she contin-ued sadly that the average woman enIVK than doing her own houseworkind making baby clothes and embroider-ing pillows and curling a babys hairbit she has found out that it doesnt pay

that while she is cutting out patternsud making bibs some other woman is

fin ting her out of a husband and makingtrouble

And so sh cuts out the whole thingadded the Mere Man cynically andmakes up as and hourt Ive noticed that

owadays every woman to be asubtle sirVn and that you cant tell arother of nine children under a chiffonv il and a mushroom hat from a girl ornineteen But its hard on the children

Oh I dont know the Bachelor Girltiltd her chin thoughtfully Ready-made children are usually much betterbrought up than homemade ones and nothnlf so likely to be spoiled The oldtashloned idea that every famous menowed Ms greatness to his mother haslung lnre been disproved by the factthat half our rich and noble men were-i gged urchins who never knew a moth-er and slept in a soap box and sold papersfur an education Besides she addedcomplacently there never was a sonyet who wouldnt shake off the Influenceof the hand that rocked the cradle theminute he grew up and saw the handwith the rosalined nails and the dimpledknuckles beckoning to ulm Anywaynowadays a woman needs both handsfne to keep her hold on her husband

And yet Ive noticed remarked theMan that very few of the modern

rrrns have the hold on a man that thefashioned took and the cradle rocker

Yhtn a man had a farm andtwelve children to look out for he didnt

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have any time or inclination to gt seek-ing an affinity By the time he hatstacked the hay and put up the bondsand earned enough money to buy breafor twelve mouths and shoes forpairs of feet he was only too glad tohome and sit beside the fire and smokehis pipe Its the modern artificiality olife the selfrocking cradles and selfworking calculators end selfplaying

the limited families the automobileand electric cars that makes thingseasy for us and leave so much timeour that Satan finds workthem to do This running n home orbusiness office by pushing a buttonunnatural ant unhealthy It gives wo-men time for bargain hunting andtime for pleasure hunting and all of ntime for trouble hunting A chap dldnworry about not having a soul mate l-

ithe old days If he had a mate who couldmake good pies and start a Ore withoutburning down the house And a womandidnt sigh for an sMutty when she wabusy all day long tying up sore fingersand patching smelt trousers and watchingto see that the biscuits didnt burnmodern Improvements on matrimony arelike most patents of no real valueanybody but the inventor and readymade wives are like all things ready-made apt to be looseJointed and wealin the moral seams and showy onoutside but not at aU comfortable oruseful

Who wants to be useful scoffed theBachelor Girt with a toss of her toutedcurly head The latest model

beautiful and fascinating SheInto fashion with electric broughams amtouring and like them her mtastois to amuse and entertain you andyour friends envious

And keep you busy interpolatedMere Man managing her andrepairs and spending your moneygetting out of wraps

And to make life seem like aof a century run down hill continuedthe Bachelor Girl

With a bump at the bottom flntohotMan with a sigh

When will men know whatwant exclaimed the Bachelorhopelessly When they bait nice

wives in curl papers and cook-ing aprons they sighed for an unejlectttacompanion who could understand themand when women took to going to col-

lege and forming literary clubsfighting for a vote and wearing bloomera they raised their hands in horrorand began to wail for the dear femtatncreatures In mOles and curls and nowthat weve learned how to combine ruf-fles and curls with Intellectuality andcooking now that were a little of every-thing

You arent much of anythingin the Mere Man desperately Yswnmakeshift mothers and makeshift beau-ties and makeshift politicians Give

good oldfashioned wifeIve offered you one several times

declared the Bachelor GirlWhat-I introduced you to Polly ReynoldsThat frump in the mustardcolor

hat demanded the Mere Man contempt-uously

She can make lovely waJBep protectthe Bachelor Girl

She slicks back her hair grunt 1

the Mere ManShes a queen in the kitchen

the Bachelor GirlAnd the color of a lemon

r59t I thought you wantedYou know perfectly what

want said the Mere Mao risingdignity

The Bachelor Girl twisted herthoughtfully with her head on one side

If you mean me Mr Porter she an-

nounced after a pause Ive frankly toldyou that I dont know a turnip front aparsnip nor a lamb from beef beforetheyre cooked

And Ive frankly told you that I dontcareAnd I buy my nocks ready made

They dont look itAnd Id use bachelors buttons and a

selfrocking chair andId gladly spend the money for emAnd Ive got all the modern improve-

mentsBut youve got curly hair rejoined

the Mere Man defiantly and a dtmpte inyour chin and curves in your elbows and

youre a Circe and a Madonna and asubtle siren and a Delilah and a Gretehenand

Ob be careful cried the BachelorGirl in consternation as she half closedthe door between them Im dangerOWl creature

And she laughed softly aa she heard theMere Man clumping disgustedly down thestudio stairs

Roman SimplicityNo opera singer ever wheedled his way

so deep into the heart of a people ae Has

Marconi the great Italian tenor into thehearts of the Romans He is simply idollard by them and it Is probably due tothe great simplicity of his nature and tohis democratic ways which the winningof a large fortune has in no mannerchanged The gallery gods speak ofhim familiarly as their Checco adiminutive for his Christian name antithink that no one like him ever livedso he sings for them now and then al-

though he no longer needs to follow hisprofession and although be knows thathis voice is fast leaving him Its wonder-ful sweetness hi still there but It Is like-ly to break on the high notes The Ro-mans dont care and if their favorite attimes tails they drown his failure Inapplause and will not hear of his re-

tiring says the New York TimesQuite recently one evening that Mar

coni was singing there occurred a littlescene that could only have happened indear antiquated old Rome At a momentwhen the orchestra suddenly stops play-ing and leaves the tenor to take a highnote alone Marconis voice broke badlyand he stopped abruptly A deadly si-

lence reigned for a moment In the hugehouse and then softly and chidingly therecame from the gallery a reproof inlect

Mme Checco che famo Well Chocco what are we about It asked mildly

The great tenor lifted his to hisinterlocutor and shrugging his shouldersIn expressive pantomime quite uncon-scious of the Incongruity of the thingsaid out loud as though grieved but withdelightful simplicity

Eh my friend how can I holp ItThen a crash of musk drowned the

sound of the applause

The Vnrslty IloputntlonF-SM UM rMMefeUs Hew

Apropos of Swarthmore College and theabolition of athletics Reginald landerhilt said at a recent dinner in Newport

We all know that college athletics cancarried too far I remember an

that befell an athletic friend of mineback In 98

This chap training for the hockeyteam went stale The conch sent forhim and said indignantly

Youre in a pretty state Why manyou are as pale and soft as putty Boondrinking

Not R drop said my friendThen you are smoking too muchNo sir I havent touched tobacco

since I went Into trainingStudying the couch askedEr yes a little my friend admittedGood gracious man exclaimed the

coach stop it at once Have you nowhatever for your varsity

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WHITMANS BIBLE FOR SALE

Poets Love for the Scripture n liltorntnrc Recalled

When Walt Whitman died In 1802

G Ingersoll spoke of him as a manknowing all creeds but believing innone Whitman knew the Bible almostby heart and held it In high Hehas said of it No true bard will overcontravene the Bible If the time evercomes whon iconoclasm Its extremistagainst the books of the Bible In Its pres-

ent form the collection muet still survive-In another and dominate just aa muchas hitherto through Its divine and primalstructure hero are the fountain-heads of song

Whitmans own copy of the BibleSJmo Cambridge lKf will bd sold atauction on Friday It bears the In-

scription in his autograph across thetitle Thomas Donaldson with everlast-ing life wishes from Walt WhitmanApt lEO

Donaldson wu one of his most Intimatefriends Whitmans last wowig wereabout him Hes a dear goon1 fellow

Other Whitman rarities In theaUe aretwo copies of the rare first lue of thufirst edition of Leaves of Grass thin4to Brooklyn 1116 a presentation copyof the 1171 Camden edition of Leavesof Graze John from Ills Prtontithe Author a first edition of Demo-

cratic Vistas with autograph Inscrip-

tion M B Brady from his friend WaltWhitman and a first edition ofAU Not to ereate Only with a totterby Whitman entitled Can you use thispoemet in your cluster It would prob-ably do to go out just as well during theweek immediately preceding ChrtotwanThe price is tH ten for the little pieceand one for printing the slip Ac

There are also presentation copies 4fMemorandum During the War one of

the rarest of Whitmans writings pri-vately printed for distribution amongfriends and first proof sheets of No-

vember BoughsA rare memento of Jay Goulds nkill as

surveyor and draughtsman in the earlypart of his career In In the collection ofrare Americana formed by Mis NettieMalcolm of London to be sold at auc-tion It is a large colored wall map ofDelaware County N V from actual sur-vey by Jay QouU with the location ofstores mills houses with tbe names ofthe famines owning or living in them

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THE CATCH OF THE SEASON11 Y CBCIIY AliaCX

Wint 1f you dont sit down and bequiet youll be overboard in a minute

Ive warned you two or three times nowand Im througo

Talk about being quiet Mid WhitYou have clOCked Incessantly UM a

sitting hen ever since I threw my firstline No wonder we dont get a hite

Whit Millet turned around to look athis friend Jack Barnes lighting his pipemeanwhile

All right you clumsy old thing Iknow what Im talking about grinnedJack You move about jin this littlerowboat as If it were an oceangoingsteamer Look to your line there

Wlnt turned suddenly at the mentionof the loafwaited bite Clumsy hemight be but Jack loved his chum Justbecause he was clumsy and always need-

ed his help turn was fatal Wlntlost his balance his foot slipped on thewet bottom of the boat and backwardhe went for a cold and unexpected dtpFortunately the water only five feetdeep and WInts head appeared abovethe surface a second pipe In mouthand the fire still going

Curses on you Jack Barnes Youdid that purposely and youll pay forthis growled Whit as he tried to climbaboard

Jacks convulsions of laughter did nothelp matters and when he did stopfor a moment It was only to heap coalsof fire upon Wines wet head

My fault Well I like that you oldlandlubber I told you to keep quiet butyou knew it all Now our days fishing

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is spoiled and I can stay home andyou Climb aboard and lets get homebefore you develop the measles or whooptag cough

It a very Mtltea pair that unlockedthe door of their fishing hut aa hourlater W t was ad Jack Was

muttering wider his breath They huntedin vein for dry clothes as they had come-

down only tot a day or two to sough itJack turned to Ma friend with a neinlessexpression

Whit only one thing to doWell hard to pact up said go over toUncle end see If they will takeyou in Youre saeesinff your head oilnow and by morning probably havea fine case of pneumonia I hate to do itfor Aunt Fanny doesnt approve of meor my friends either for that matteradded Jack

Again the pair started walkedthrough the woods to a PreUr little

set In among the pines nvt IraoaySeal nut them it the fno was awoman who held her head high at alltimes but just now It seemed to bestraighter than ever

So Its you Is It she said as Jackextended his hand Who Is this personwith your she added as she glanced atthe figure of Wint covered with red mndand hatless

Oh I say Aunt Fanny be easy Wevehad an accident This to my best friendMr Wtathrop Miller He fen overboardtad weve come over to e if you wonttake us in for the night until his clothesget dry Wheres Uncle Win Hen un-

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ONE OF THE NEW SHIRT WAISTS

A new sty6 shirt waist which Is smartwithout being elaborate is hero shownand will please the amateur dressmakerbecause of its simplicity of making Theback yoke insures fitting at the shoulders while boxpleats complete the backarrangement The front of the waist Istucked Its entire length in extremely

effect The sleeves are of theregulation shirt style having the plain

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Placed Herself Beyond Paleof Philadelphia Society

LIVES NORTH OF FATAL LINE

And in T Unfir u Residence on theWrong Shin of Market Street Sitent Once UfTviuluiI Traditionsof the dunkcr Citys AristocracyHer nt Hointt Wiiw W e l

When Mrs John B Reybwn wile ofthe mayor of Philadelphia returned fromEurope last fall she was tuft of plansThroughout her trip she had lasted thjoy of soda prominence and bad evenbeen presented at court Shortly afterher return she sent out cards reading

ftms JOIn E RBYBURKAt Ijome

Wednesdays from I until I oclockKJ JftB Spring Garden street

The first Wednesday arrived and in acharming IOwa she sat expectant In Mrflowerdecked urawjng room

But nobody cameThree ttmea Ihe ring of the bell stirred

her but it turned out to bemerely a reporter in search of a storyThen Mrs Rcyburn arose and questioned

Why not privately but through thenewspapers and PhUadefphift societyanswered in a body

We cant call on Mrs Kcybora forsite lives north of Market street

U was true and to Jhe of Pntladelphians an unanswerable argument

North of Market street lie wide treeshaded roomy bouses look-

ing out over quaint gardens sad many

points of beauty and interest But thesocial meridian at Market streetend not north of It

The IM i Hi IIucSociety extends Its hounds south among

the 9 negroes and east into thewy beart of the Polish Jew section Bat

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straight cuff that is so well liked whilethe pattern provides for two styles ofcollar The waist may be developed insilk wool or linen the medium size re-

quiring 4K yards of Siinch materialSix sizes 32 to 42 inches bust measure

A pattern of this may be obtained byInclosing 10 cents In stamps and address-ing Pattern Department The WashingtonHerald 734 Fifteenth street northwestgiving the number 2763 and size wanted

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west it stopt as abruptly at the Skuylkill river as on the north it stops shortat Market street West Philadelphia likeNorth Philadelphia Is tabooed The un-

written law II stronger than money orbrains or bossiLy In the Quaker City

Another of the laws of the Modes andPhiladelphians Is that pertaining to theassembly Only the obituary and birthcolumn can alter the lIt of the Invita-tions to this function unless oh blessedrule bne can prove rrsldence anotherState In that case a dinner or even asuccessful stockbroking tip ha beenknown to procure an invitation

If H maiden whose ancestors did notdance the minuet at the early assembliescontracts marriage with a man who

then she also belongs buteven It her own lineage be Impeaceabteand though she may have gone to as-sembly cotilloM year after year U shele married to a man outside the pals theassemblys doors are forever barred toher Usually the week before the firstassembly te a time of exodus whenmany women are prone to sudden indis-positions requiring a trip to Lakewood

And when otis does attend an assemblyball what te the reward Private ballsmay abound in Indian war dances

and butterflies but even the menuand the number of dances at the assem-bly are arranged by the laws of ourgreatgreatgrandfathers

The Charity nailEspecial public Interest centers also In

the charity ball which takes place onthe third Wednesday in January ThoseInvited put on their smartest gowns anddisplay themselves In the boles at theAcademy of Music on that night butthey do not dante except In the open-ing quadrite Here social prec-edent reigns and there i much anxiousfluttering till the list Is announced

Then every one settles down to satte-facttoa or disappointment as themay be ball te always held in theAcademy of Music which brings up theold tM law that the Academy te the onlyfun dress place town No tastier

what the opera or who the starsthe play or hew great the actors

any one may wear street clothes or highnecked frocks Dressing for opera inItalian or German t the Academy

at the shoulder blades accordingcustom while all other events are

from the chin downEqually Inviolate te the order that no

one walks on the north aide of thestreet In view of which old bat stmvirile ide t rents of stores on tile north

of the streets are halt these on thesouth side

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are alone mood is blood and you cannotdeny your own Il take you In for yourmothers sake whined Aunt Fanny a

opened the door anything but awelcome manner

Never mind about me Aunt Finnyanswered Jack as he saw the

door open for them But WInS taunt petdry hes caught dreadful cold I fear

He doesnt look exactly frailMrs Beal as she glanced at Wints

somewhat ample proportions Howevercome in and go up to your uncles roomI suppose you will leave this eveningyou know we have no spare room sheadded let they should avail themselves-of a nights lodging

Whit did not leave that evening not formany many evenings thereafter At 5oclock that afternoon the doctor wassent for Me looked at the flushed cheeksand the parched tongue He listened tothe wheezing breath as it came so hardand shook his head

Wo noun have a untie at MrsDeaL The men fe very He musthave feare or he will die I will acm anun and will call again later Goodafternoon and the doctor was gone

For weeks Whit hovered between lifeand the peat beyond No one enteredthe room but the nurse the doctor andIsabella Beal Jacks cousin She relievedthe nurse and sometimes even the doctorwould call her In to give a few directionsJack came down every day or two butnever wa allowed to see his chum Slow-ly the big man made his fight slowly hiseyes lost the glassy look and finally theay came when the name was no longer

needed Isabelle could manage withJacks help at

Inigh-

tI nurse said Wmt one day assat reading to him rm glad

that other nurse beat it I lik you betterBut you know Im not really a nurseat nil Mr Miller said as shelashed at the inferred compliment TmJacks cousin Aunt Fannys daughteryou understand But I love Jack and m-ao anything for his friends and she be-gan to read again

pont lets mad any mote sold Wlnttalk I dont whether

youre a really truly nurse or nothits you cause youre you and maybewhen your mother sees me dressed like awhite man she wont think Im such aterror I certainly did look like a day la-

borer out of a Job the afternoon I landedOn the front porch

MI know said Isabelle as sheheartily and lld down the book Itmust have been 90 funny Mothers ter-ribly proper you know

Days went on like this and Mrs DealWed gradually won over to the enemyscamp Every one who knew Wlnt Millerloved him despite his carelesshapless ways for kindly spirit andother things but mostly because he wasbe In the days that followed he hadmany mimes as all the family took turnswheeling him across the room so that hemight bask in the sunlight but his hap-piest hours were when Isabelle was incharge

One afternoon as she patted the pillows-at th back of his chair and left a glassof milk at his elbow he caught the handthat had brought so many comforts tohim during his Illness

Wont you stay a little longer MISSNightingale he pleaded as he heldtightly to the hand Im so lonely intile twilight Wait until Jack comesHes tine In a few minutes now If thetrain Isnt late please

You old silly Mid Isabelle as she saton the window ledge with the shadowsencircling her-

r wish you knew more about me saidWhit I wish you would ask some ofthe fellows If Im not a decent sortsee Ive something to say to you but Ioant until you know me better It wouldbe like taking an unfair advantage

Oh but I know all about you alreadyh saw gayly Jack and I talk about

yen nil the timeHe reached out and pulled her a little

closerIm a clumsy old thing as Jack always

saysbut theres nothing very bad aboutme and I dont play this sick trick veryoftn You wouldnt care for a life Jobof nursing would He was holdingthe hand very tightly now as she lookedup at him and said coyly

Ask me why dont youHis arms were not very strong as yet

but both of them went around the sir ashe drew her to his lips

Sweetheart he whisperedWell Ill be hanged Wlnt Miller none

of sang out Jack as he stood Inthe doorway grip In hand as he had hur-ried from the train I brought you downhere to fish not to steal all the preserves-on the family plantation

Yes Jack said Whit as he reachedout one free hand You brought medown to fish and Im the champion forhere In my arms Is the atch of the season the best over

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Itrlucnrnatloii nml InsanityI have finally persuaded the family of

one of my patients that she te a sane asthe average woman a physician told methe other day If you knew the womanyoud recall that after the Wrth of herfirst child about six years ago there wasa rumor that her family had been obliged-

to send her to a sanatorium whet mentaldisorders are treated She was sentthough I protested against itwa kept there for a year I dont believeshe was ever Insane but her family doThey dont know that she stttl thesocalled delusion that frightened themso She Is wise enough not u t lk AbOUt

It but she declares to me that she be-

lieve Just what sh believed six yearsago When the baby was three days oldI found the patient very much excitedand her husband and neither and nursefrightened half to death The nurse hadheard the baby cry at 4 in the morningand going Into the room found the young

holding ItThe baby spoke to me she said

She went on to declare that she hadntdreamed It She had noticed the time byth clock and had heard a leaky faucetdrip so she knew she wasnt asleep

The baby stirred sad I took it inarms said and I said to it Howdo yon Uke being the world It an-

swered me and said Not at all out Ihad to come I didnt learn the lessonwon when I ws in the world last timeso I had to come Into It again

Then I asked ttu tell me all aboutthe life that Isnt in the world Thatswhen It begat to cry

I am forgetting It said I amforgetting It so fact and I neverremember it again die

Well you cut imagine how a storythai threcdaysoid bay UlMng re-

incarnation horrified the family Theyoung mother persisted m her story andnothing could shake her belief in H

When she agtostod that the babys soulmight have lived m a wicked body in itsformer incarnation well they simplyher off to a retreat and took the babyaway from her B s not a very im-

aginative woman So far as anybodycog find out she never had anotheridea In all her life but shes got tide

and going to keep it On the wholeit will make her a better mother forshell take pains to help the poor soulteam Its me teeeon won this time Thechild is a normal healthy commonplacesmall boy No remembering and

about him and so far as Iveever been able to see the only alga of anabnormal mind the mother showed

calling the baby It Were aQ moreor less but a young mother whocans her first baby If certainly tonne alittle to the more

IVorrlQtl Aliout the Pickle SupplyI met a dear little woman at some

bodys house not long ago and she dW

her bet to hold up her end when impor-

tant events of the day began to pop upin the general talk

Well I see Mr Hetose ha been Indict-ed somebody remarked addressing her

Oh dear me said she trying not telook vague Has be Who In the worldwill we get pickles from now

She Can Pronounce HujjhcsWhenever anybody asks me whom Im

for for President I Just say Hughes andlet it go at that says the wife of a Re-

publican Congressman Mr HUghes isntmy husbands preference but I tell himthat a man whose name can be pro-

nounced two ways hasnt any right tobe President Out home we always callthe President Rew rvelf but firsttime I spoke his name so in Washington-a New York man looked at me as if Iwere the last of heathens said Rozfelt I can take my choice and say It

either way with the certainty thatpeople Im talking to use the other prorvrcUttfnn Im not prepared to gothrough this sort of thing during anotheradministration Its wearing I wantedMr Cortelyou to be President till I foundpeople pronounced his nm with the ccent on any syllable they liked and saidthe 0 and the long or short as theyhappened to fancy the sound For awhile I sure Mr Taft would be theman for the place and I mentioned it toa Boston man rhyming the name withraft

Mr Tabft is an admirable per-

son he said and when I salt Tahfr on

my own hook a Western man glared atme and told me that no man with anEnglish broad a in his name could

with any State west of the Nicolesippi When Im choosing a candidate 1

want one whose name we can all sayunanimously Im for HughesTheres a name I cin always speak with

Association of IdcnaSpeaking of the governor of New York

reminds me that an Illinois girl who Is apupil at a finishing school here in townfeels very grateful to him for no otherrosiest than that his name is Hughes

Im a regular dub in ancient historyand mythology she told me polite con-

versation is a specialty at her schoolIm all to the bed when it comes to tell-

ing whether Hercules was a demigod ora brand of breakfast food and I cant re-

member whether Midas or Mithridatnkept pebbles in his mouth maybe evenit Demosthenes You can searchme We had an exam the other day andI could see myself going down hill withmy skis greased from the very first question I knew Id got to land somethingor papa would hear that I hadnt beenkeeping my nose glued to my book andpapa would start on an airship tripWhat was Achilles one vulnerable spot

was a question that looked like a lifepreserver to me I knew I ought to knowIt but my mind went blank I knew Itcouldnt be a fin but whether It was aliver or a heel I simply couldnt remem-ber Just then I looked over at a girlfrom New York and she had a pin withGov Hughes picture on It pinned at theback of her neck I knew then that theanswer was heel and not nor liverIts what you call association of IdeasOut in Illinois when the beefsteak isntwhat It ought to be we say Tough asHughes heel As soon is I saw Hughes-I remembered that and then I knewwhere they punctured Achilles who

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hadnt a Hughes heel Its pretty sentpHcated Isnt it I dont know whetherGov Hughes te the man whoa heel theytalk about out In Illinois tIt Ive lOt a

of idea that he wouldnt he a veryeasy man to

Only Two MoreSomebody told me yesterday about the

mail sow of a man who is aiififM inWale sOrt of scientific work in one of thegovernment departments The boy has a

mind ami the father made Itcustom to answer all the youngsterquestions carefully and fully Even acitnUfte fathers have limits to their pa-

tience however and one day after thethree thousandth question the lather Mid

Now run away son Im too buny toanswer any more questions

But I only want to a two moreprotested the boy 1 think you mightanswer Just two-

I will said father What aretheyI want to know how they work mir-acles and how they make condensedmilk

YEAST IS A PLOTCan He Seen n Such Only with the

Yeast to R small plant which can beseen only with the aid of the microscope

Good Health There are two varie-ties wild and cultivated for those tinyplants can be improved through cultiva-tion larger plants can be

Firms which make yeast for the marketmUst grow these plants quite as carefully

the florist KIOWa his flowers Carsmust be taken that they do not beetomemixed with other varieties therefore de-

stroying the cultureIn the laboratorte where yeast te grown

two separate buildings are kept for thispurpose These are both carefullyfoeted and If it te found that the yeastbecomes contaminated hi butUUmj theculture te started anew and the otherbuilding previously dfetafeeted beforemoving into it

purest culture of yeast te probablyobtained in the compressed yeast cakesThese can be kept only for a very shorttime and then in a cool place which ren-ders it inconvenient for the warmer partsof the country In this ease of toursthe dry yeast cakes must be used whichwhen fresh are perhaps quite as goodas the compressed except that they re-

quire a longer time and should be start d-

in the sponge Instead of the stiff doughThis plant like bacteria

warmth moisture and food The ma-

terials out of which the bread te madeshould always be warmed and the dougushould always be kept in warm placeThe temperature most favorable te aboutthat of the body a lUtJ t toss than 100 de-grees

There is always considerable moisturein bread and plenty of food for plantThe food which it requires te susan Thisit obtains from the wheat theresome sugar in the flour and more sugarte also formed from the starch

As the yeast plants feed upon sugarthey break it down Into two substancesalcohol and a gs known as carbon dieside or carbonic acid gas As the isformed it te held by Up gluten which isa very elastic substance When breadte put into the oven the heat expands thtiny bubbles of gas causing bread frise or to become much lighter The al-

cohol formed being a volatile productpasses oil in the baking

THE 3IADIIBX HAT

It remainsMadame it

simply adore ItA breath of wind it lives a a Its

nameAny one who has encountered aa en-

raged heR will recof nme ItHas it occurred to you that the aver

age chapeau is so exaggerated that themat extreme settee would hardly haveventured to wear it on stare nveyears ago

A Prank ApologyThere te a family In South Carolina

historically In the polities ofthe State and famed In the present gen-

eration for Its rigorous adherence to thetraditional hospitality of the family Moreintimately the particular branch underdiscussion Is held in high repute for theclose relations existing between the paterfamliias and his numerous sons Thefact Is also recognised that the sons inearly youth are accustomed to addresstheir father In terms of cheerful profanity says the New York Times

Not long ago there was a wedding inthe connection followed by a receptionat which the whole clan presentThere went the pater famtlias and therehis youngest son Jackie a boy of someseven summers There was much punchat the receptionrand Jackie stayed latefor the honor of the family When hereached home his father and his olderbrothers and sisters were seated In thesittingroom talking things over

Lurching over to the fireplace andstanding as steadily as his little reelinglegs would let him he addressed hisfather

Old goatee I have had toe muchpunch a d sight too muck and I amman enough to tell yoU so

With roars of laughter shies manytimes repeated with paternal pride thefrank apology accepted

Threatens White HouseProM the Ffaihtfeiiibfe

When Senator Fravfer was elected gov-ernor of Tennessee a few years ago hisRepublican opponent was Jesse M Littleton brother of Martin W LittletonHarry Thaws chief counsel One of theLittleton brothers the youngest of eight-een children is a fourthclass postmas-ter at Estill Springs Tenn and a warmsupporter qf Representative Brownlowone of the Republican leaders In theState The antiBrownlow members ofthe parts In his county have been tryinghard to have him removed The otherday says a Washington correspondent ofthe New York World Senator Frazier received this letter from Jesse Uttletod

Dear Sir Inasmuch as your electionto tire Senate waa the result of your hav-ing been governor and nasmuch as youwere elected governor because I showedup your record on every stump in theState and Inasmuch as my opposition toyou resulted In your setting fhe largestmajority ay Democrat had received foryears I want you to show your

by going to the White House andtolling T R that If he fires my kid brotherI will elect another Democrat governorof Tennessee by running on the Republi-can ticket

A Strnnge InstitutionA singular Danish institution to the

Maiden Insurance Company strictlyconfined to those of noble birth Thenobleman as soon as a daughter is bornto him has her name placed on thecompanys books and pays in a certainsum to be followed by annual pay-ments and when the girl comes of agoshe is entitled to a fixed income and afine apartment until she marries ordies

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