Caregiver The

A program of Health Projects Center SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2019

Depression… or is it just the blues?

Aging is a healthy, normal process and not an illness. However, did you know that negative emotions and mental attitudes can result in disease? The most common mental health problems in seniors are de-pression, anxiety, dementia (e.g., Alzhei-mer’s Disease), substance abuse, and para-noia. The suicide rate is higher for the el-derly than for any other age group. Old age is difficult because a person has to make adjustments. Loss of physical strength or health, retirement, death of a spouse, new living arrangements, and the need to accept and prepare for death are just a few. Common fears are: loss of control over life loss of independence and fear of aban-

donment fear of living alone and feeling lonely

fear of death

You can help deal with these powerful emotions by: pointing out her strengths and focusing

on small successes restoring a sense of control by giving as

many choices as possible finding new ways for her to adjust to

limitations changing your attitude about her disabil-

ity recognizing that humor is healing and

providing large doses of laughter allowing her to cry at hearing news of a

diagnosis providing opportunities for peer support

and friendship.

Depression is often misdiagnosed as de-mentia or Alzheimer’s, but there are differ-ences. It is important to get a correct diag-nosis for anyone suspected of having de-pression, Alzheimer’s or dementia.

Feeling Good About Yourself Did you know that one of the leading causes of depression is not talking about your feel-ings? Depression literally means “to de-press”—to press down feelings or emotions. Why do your spirits lift after talking to a friend or therapist? Often, it’s just because you’ve shared what you’re feeling that day with someone. Sometimes, just writing out your thoughts in a journal, is enough to release the pushed-down feelings. Most times, it is good to have close contact with other people. Here are some ways to help lift depression: JOURNAL WRITING—Don’t leave out the negative stuff—that needs to come out too!

PHYSICAL EXPRESSION—Walking is the best exercise. The body can release a lot of tension and emotions through regular walks. COMMUNICATE WITH OTHERS—Human beings are designed to live in social groups. We need others to be happy. Some of the places you can share your thoughts and feelings are:

• Support groups—Twelve Step (Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, caregiver support groups (such as through the Alzheimer’s, Parkin-son’s, Stroke or other associations).

• Priests or clerics—Consult your local house of worship to check in with a member of the clergy when you are having a hard time. Some churches have parish nurses for support.

• Friends—Develop a few close friends with whom you can talk.

ARTISTIC EXPRESSION—Paint a wa-tercolor (no need to be good) or make a collage with pictures that inspire you from magazines. Question: I don’t have time or energy right now to get involved with support groups or social activities. Is there some-thing I can do to change my moods? Answer: Yes—be aware of how much diet and lack of exercise may be affect-ing you. To test it, try this: For two weeks, get some exercise every day by walking 30 minutes or simply doing some stretching, and eat fruits, vegeta-bles, lean protein, and take a multivita-min. You will feel like you have a new lease on life!

You may be only one person in the world, but

you may also be the world to one person.

Grief and Depression When Sadness Overwhelms Grieving is a natural and important pro-cess that helps us avoid depression and psychological problems later in life. Just as no two people are alike, the stages of grief are different for all of us and the time it takes to pass through them varies. In gen-eral, we must experience at least one set of seasons and holidays without a loved one, but often the grieving process takes much longer. Remember the grieving process is natural and ultimately will restore balance to your life. The grieving process in an unexpected death usually takes much longer to work through than the death following a long illness because caregivers and the family is unprepared for the death. Caregivers may wish they had said or done something be-fore the death or feel like they have “unfinished business.” Sometimes caregiv-ers feel guilt and blame themselves for the death.

Taking Care of Yourself Studies are showing the health benefits of spirituality. One explanation may in-volve the body’s ability to manage stress. Quiet prayer and meditation is a way to release stress in our lives and when we do that we tap into the healing capabili-ties nature has given us. Daily spiritual activity such as yoga, meditation, prayer, or simply spending time in nature can help renew your spirit. Dealing with Boredom Boredom is another problem for people who are ill, and fighting it can take all your creativity. Try the following:

• watching funny movies • taking car or bus trips • playing board games and card

games • using a computer to access sites on

the Internet and communicate with family and friends through e-mail

• listening to music, especially from the person’s youth

• going to social events • attending public library discussion

clubs and using large print or talking Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Some depression can be brought on by the dark, gloomy days of winter. This type of depression may be treated by Light Therapy—sitting in front of full-spectrum lights for one hour per day. However, be wary of gadgets that promise miraculous results. Be sure this is mentioned to the doctor.

Stages of Grief Each person experiences loss in a personal way. However, the following are common stages in the grieving process:

• Shock and numbness—usually the first stage, which can last from a few days to several months

• Denial—a refusal to accept the loss • Realization and emotional release—

feelings of overwhelming sadness and bouts of crying, often at unexpected times

• Guilt—feelings that more could have been done

• Disorganization and anxiety—confusion and an inability to concen-trate, causing feelings of panic

• Memory flashbacks—sudden flash-backs of both good and bad memories are normal but can be frightening

• Loneliness and depression—a long pe-riod of overwhelming sadness and loss of interest in things that once gave pleasure

• Anger and resentment—at the doctors, the family, friends, God and even at the person who died

• Recovery—a return to a more normal life

The Tasks of Mourning Time alone does not heal. The work of grief is a long-term process and we need friend's acknowledgement of our grief. • Accept the Loss—It is normal to re-

peatedly tell the story to others and be preoccupied with thoughts of the de-ceased.

• Acknowledge the Pain—Avoiding the emotional pain can prolong the grief.

• Adjust to the New Life—Identify your needs and find ways to meet them.

• Reinvest in Life—Realize you can love life again and that this does not dimin-ish the love you had for your loved one.

Depression We do not feel grief only when someone we love dies. Grief can be felt by the per-son in our care and the caregiver, even when we first hear the diagnosis of a life threatening illness. During the course of the illness the caregiver often feels sad-ness, anger depression and abandonment by family and friends.

Serious Warning Signs Seek professional counseling if you or a family member develops a medical con-dition in reaction to profound feelings of loss or: • Feels furious hostility • Loses all emotional feeling • Begins using alcohol or drugs • Feels happiness instead of a sense of

loss • Withdraws from all friendships • Is profoundly depressed

Taking Care of Yourself: Spotting Life's Upsets In every job, relationship, or life situa-tion there is inevitably some turbu-lence. • Learn to laugh at it. It is part of

what you do and who you are. • If you are a baker chances are you

will burn a few cakes every now and then. If you are a homemaker, you will break a few dishes. If you are a clerk at a supermarket, there is a great possibility that one day one of the grocery bags will burst as you finish filling it. You can be pre-pared, as one clerk was, with, "They just don't make these bags like they used to; this was supposed to hap-pen in your driveway!"

• You cannot expect things to run smoothly twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year, for your entire life. Why not prepare for those rough spots before they occur and be ready with some way to lighten them up?

• Some days are better (or worse) than others. Like the Boy Scouts, be prepared!

Source: Make Someone Else Happy by Allen Klein. Allen Klein is an award-winning pro-fessional speaker and best-selling author. Klein's books include The Healing Power of Humor, The Courage to Laugh, and Quota-tions to Cheer You Up. For more information about his programs, he can be reached at hu-mor@allenklein.com.

Humor Helps People often feel guilty about having fun or even smiling after experiencing a loss. Humor is therapeutic and can be a tremendous help as families navi-gate their grief journey. Source: Stepping Stones of Hope; a Phoenix-based nonprofit organization that provides support programs such as Camp Paz, a day camp and week-end retreat for bereaved families.

“It's only when we truly know and un-derstand that we have a limited time on earth—and that we have no way of know-ing when our time is up—that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.” ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Stepping Out of Pain Into Forgiveness If the person who did you wrong is gone, how do we overcome the pain and sor-row into the peace of forgiveness? There are some steps you can take to help you overcome pain. • Name the Injury—Exactly what did

the person do that hurt you? • Claim the Injury—Recognize how it

affects you even today. • Name the Person Who Caused the

Injury—Clearly identify who it was that caused you pain.

• Choose to Forgive—Write out a list of every injury the person made against you. Can it be undone or repaid? No? Then shred the list.

• Recognize How the Injury has Changed You—You are now a person who clearly understands the injury done to her and no longer thinks of herself as injured.

Source: Forgiving the Unforgivable: Overcom-ing the Bitter Legacy of Intimate Wounds, Bev-erly Flanigan, 1992 Wiley Publishing

After reading this issue, think about how in providing care and assistance you can better understand depression and deal with sad emotions by using some of the suggestions learned. An-swering the true or false questions below will help you in this thinking and learning process.. 1. Depression is a common mental

problem in the elderly. T F 2. There are things you can do to help

a person with long term illness deal with sad and powerful emo-tions. T F

3. Depression is sometimes misdiag-nosed as Alzheimer’s. T F

4. A computer can be a wonderful way to communicate with family through email thereby lifting spir-its. T F

5. Support groups have no value if you don’t know anyone there. T F

6. An elderly person gets depressed over the loss of control in his life, therefore give him as many oppor-tunities for choice as possible. T F

7. Physical movement or exercise can lift the mood. T F

8. Diet doesn’t matter when it comes to mood. T F

9. People can be alone for long peri-ods of time and it won’t effect their mood. T F

10. Listening to music from when the senior was young can lift her mood. TF

Answers 1. T 2.T 3. T 4. T 5. F 6. T 7. T 8. F 9. F 10.T

Note You, the caregiver, may be suf-fering symptoms of depression as well from your increased re-sponsibilities, reduced personal time, and the emotional strains of helping a loved one cope with aging or illness.

Grilled Polenta Bites Ingredients: Roasted Red Pepper, Feta and Thyme Spread: • 3 large red bell peppers • 1/4 cup olive oil • 6-8 cloves of roasted or raw garlic, roughly

chopped • 3 ounces feta cheese, broken into large crumbles • 2-3 sprigs of thyme • Salt • Ground pepper Grilled Polenta: • 2 (18 ounce) tubes of prepared (pre-cooked) po-

lenta • Olive oil for brushing • Salt Directions: 1. Prepare spread: Preheat the oven broiler. Place the bell peppers on a foil-lined baking

sheet and slide under the broiler. Allow peppers to char completely on all sides (this will take anywhere from 10 to 15 minutes, roughly), rotating them with tongs every couple minutes.

2. Transfer the peppers to a bowl and allow to cool until comfortable to touch–de-stem, de-seed, and peel. Slice the peppers into thick slices, and place in a large bowl with the olive oil, garlic pieces (or roasted garlic), and thyme sprigs. Allow to marinate for 15 to 20 minutes while you prepare the polenta rounds.

3. Prepare polenta: Trim the ends of each tube of polenta, then slice the logs into 1/2″ inch discs (you should get roughly 10 discs per tube). Brush (or spray) both sides of the polenta discs with olive oil. Heat a large grill pan over medium-high heat. Grill the polenta discs for 3 to 4 minutes on each side, flipping them carefully with a heatproof spatula. Remove the polenta discs and place on a platter, sprinkle them lightly with salt, and allow them to cool slightly while you finish preparing the pepper spread.

4. Remove the strips of roasted red pepper from the oil (allowing most of the oil to drip off), and place in a small food processor. Pulse the peppers until they are roughly chopped. Transfer to a medium bowl, add the roughly chopped garlic cloves, and stir in the crumbled feta. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

5. Top each piece of grilled polenta with a large spoonful of pepper spread. Garnish with fresh thyme leaves. Serve immediately

Mental Health Resources

National Mental Health Association (NMHA) The NMHA is the country’s oldest and largest nonprofit organization address-ing mental health and illness. It offers a variety of materials and local referrals for treatment and support on its website (www.nmha.org) or by calling 800-969-6642. National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) NAMI provides resources for encouraging those living with a mental illness to recognize they are not alone in this battle. There are stories of courage, culture and community, veteran support education program, free guide to navigating a mental health crisis, how to find support, what steps you can take to get in-volved and much more. Visit their website, www.nami.org or call 703-524-7600 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) SAMHSA offers a free national hepline that is confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individu-als and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders. SAMHSA also offers other resources for finding behavioral health treatment locations, opioid treatment programs, veteran’s crisis line and much more. www.samhsa.gov 1-877-726-4727 Suicide Prevention Lifeline The lifeline is free, confidential and always available. Help a loved one, a friend or yourself. Community crisis centers answer Lifeline calls. 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Suicide Prevention Service Call 24-hours a days. It’s free and confidential. Services people who are suicidal or in crisis in Monterey, Santa Cruz, and San Benito Counties. Toll free: 1-877-663-5433 Santa Cruz County: 831-458-5300

Support Provided By:

Fragrance-free event. As a courtesy to those affected, please attend smoke and scent free.

Presented By:

A Time for Learning and Sharing WORKSHOPS

To register: 831-459-6639 or www.delmarcaregiver.org

CAREGIVER UNIVERSITY

Free Upcoming Caregiver Workshops

Caregiver University Conference: Dealing with Dementia series

Dealing with Dementia is an educational program designed to help family caregivers of

people living with dementia, developed by the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving.

Topics include: safety, Dementia friendly lifestyle, problem solving and managing chal-

lenging behaviors, stress management and self-care. Participants will receive a 362-page

resource guide to help navigate their caregiving journey while gaining increased self-

confidence in handling dementia related behaviors and dementia knowledge. Class size is

limited, and registration is required.

Hollister—Save the Date! (English and Spanish)

Saturday, October 12th 2019 12:30 pm-6:00 pm

Hollister Community Center, 300 West Street, Hollister CA

Presented by Del Mar Caregiver Resource Center in partnership with Jovenes de Antano and

CareMore

Monterey– Save the Date! (English only)

Saturday, November 9th 2019 9:00 am– 3:00 pm

Carmel Foundation, The Southeast Corner of 8th and Lincoln Avenue, Carmel CA

Presented by Del Mar Caregiver Resource Center in partnership with The Carmel Foundation

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Caregiver Support Groups

Walk and Talk Caregiver Support Group *NEW* When: First and Third Tuesdays of each month, 10:15 -11:30 am Where: Rio Del Mar Beach (parking lot) Facilitator: Dee Edwards Sponsors: Del Mar CRC

For information, call Dee at (408) 712-1400 or (831) 459-6639

Can’t attend a support group in person? Try a Telephone Support Group (no phone charge) for free. For more information call

the Alzheimer’s Association’s office at 800-272-3900 Additional support groups: Alzheimer’s Association— 800-272-3900 Cabrillo College Stroke & Disability Learning Center: Santa Cruz - (831)425-0622 Central Coast Center for Independent Living: Monterey, San Benito, Santa Cruz - (831) 462-8720 Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula: Monterey - (831) 625-4606 Dominican Hospital: Santa Cruz - (831) 462-7700 Jovenes de Antaño: San Benito - (831) 637-9275 Twin Lakes Church: Aptos - 831) 465 3368

Sponsored by Del Mar Caregiver Resource Center

Caring for a Spouse or Life Partner Caregiver Support Group When: Second Tuesday of every month, 1:30 – 3:00 pm Where: 1537 Pacific Avenue, Suite 300, Santa Cruz Facilitator: Jessica Mattila, Family Consultant For information call (831) 459-6639

Caregiver Support & Education Group - In Spanish

When: Second Monday of every month, 5:30 –7:30 pm Where: Quadrangle Building, 1000 South Main Street, Room 302, Salinas Facilitator: Maria Quiroz, Family Consultant Sponsors: Del Mar CRC For information call (831) 424-4359

Parkinson’s Support Group When: Second Friday of each month, 1:30—3:30 p.m. Where: Hollister Community Center, 300West Street, Hollister Facilitator: Christina Andrade, Senior Family Consultant Sponsors: Del Mar CRC, Jovenes de Antaño For information call (831)975-5841

Memory Impairment Caregivers Support Group When: First Wednesday of each month, 6:00-7:30 pm Where: Hollister Community Center 300 West Street, Hollister

Facilitator: Christina Andrade, Senior Family Consultant Sponsors: Del Mar CRC, Jovenes de Antaño

For information call (831) 975-5841

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Five Simple ways to Improve Your Mood

1. Practice positive thinking—Don’t think of positivity as a personality trait that you do or don’t have. Think of it as a skill you can hone.

2. Avoid isolation—Sign yourself up to do some volunteer-ing with a group of people. Altruistic activities will even further improve the balance of happiness chemicals in the brain.

3. Eat right—There is no “superfood” that will cure a mood slump but committing to a healthy eating pattern will make a difference.

4. Get real sunshine—Get a little sunshine, but be careful of tanning and burning. In general, our mood is lifted by getting sunshine and light.

5. Break a sweat—Exercise causes the release of feel-good endorphins.